/bootleg waifu/ Summer Sprinkler Surprise

Apr 24th, 2019
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  1. *~= Summer Sprinkler Surprise =~*
  3. >Your name's Anon, or at least that what you tell everybody, but that's not important.
  4. >What is, is that Summers' almost always your favorite time of year, but this really isn't really marking up to be one you'd care to remember.
  5. >This time it's been an absolute living Hell. And you've been finding yourself wishing your house was buried under 3 feet of snow right about now...
  6. >Wrapped up in four to five extra layers, nice and comfy as you hibernated for another 3 months.
  7. >Chalk it up to just one of those times where being in Equestria would probably solve all your problems.
  8. >Too hot?
  9. >Just make a small nation-wide fight break out between the Unicorns, Pegasai and Mud ponies and soon a nice cool breeze would roll on in.
  10. >It probably wouldn't even be that hard to do.
  11. >Sure they might be mad at you for a while, but they'd forgive you if you analogized enough and felt reeeally sorry.
  12. >Of course, you'd be a lousy liar already having cartoonishly propped up a hammock or lawn chair.
  13. >but they'd get over it, they're ponies after all!
  15. >Enjoying your momentary utopia where you can have a snow shower in the middle of the year, you can already picture being scolded at by purplehorse and maybe even Spitfire would chew you out for messing with the weather.
  16. >Ponies and their weather schedules are serious business.
  17. >In between her hyperventilating and short-circuiting trying to process such an act.
  18. >"Anon... you nearly caused a WAR and you brought back an ancient evil that because... because you were too STUFFY?"
  19. >"Are you crAZY!?"
  20. >Your only response would be a shrug and introduction to the chilly northern elements right to her face.
  21. >RainbowCunt would join in and then from there it would all snowball, might have even be one of the first ones, knowing her.
  22. >Soon all the danger would be quickly forgotten by the end of a giant snowball fight.
  23. >And maybe even the Windigo would play ball, wouldn't that be a treat?
  24. >Anyone who would have her on their team would have an instant advantage.
  25. >Maybe it would go too far and in the moment she'd accidentally send Equestria into the next ice-age.
  26. >But everyone would end up with a new friend, so no hard feelings.
  27. >Escapism is great.
  28. >Ponies are great.
  30. >B-u-t.
  31. >Neither is going to help you deal with your problem when it's too damn hot out to even daydream before too long.
  32. >It's been record breaking temperatures all week and you're sick of dealing with it.
  33. >You've had to wake up in sticky sweat repeatedly, sometimes just losing sleep all together because you're busy being baked into a nice cooked vegetable. That was no way to die.
  34. >Last night was the last straw.
  35. >You practically had to peel yourself out of your clothes and it was sticking to you like it was some kind of a second skin you had to strip off like you were part reptile.
  36. >The heats' only felt like it's been getting worse since your AC broke, probably from overuse.
  37. >Didn't really have a timeline to keep track of when exactly it happened... you just think it sometime last month.
  38. >Then the heatwaves came, and it felt like they'd never leave.
  40. >Today you're not in Equestria, and you might not be able to summon a Windigo into town.
  41. >God knows we needed one.
  42. >But you're going to take matters into your own hands some other way.
  43. >It was time to put the old man's clunker to some use.
  44. >You don't drive out much on the account of all the gas burning a hole in your wallet but today was an emergency. >You kind of feel bad having a hand me down gathering dust in the driveway, but you figured that you're doing some marginal good anyways, what with everyone complaining about emissions and global warming or whatever.
  45. >Didn't really matter if you believed in it or not, just one less thing for people to harp on you about, which is just how you liked it.
  46. >You kept to yourself and your nosy neighbors kept to their own business, the only privacy between you and them was a wooden fence too tall to see over, like in that old TV sitcom.
  47. >Wasn't your idea, but you weren't complaining. It did the job just fine.
  49. >You decided to cash in some of your savings, and put it towards a way out of this sweaty nightmare.
  50. >With the front door now closed, you stuffed your beat up leather wallet into your back pocket.
  51. >Keys twirling in your hands momentarily, you turned and left the door alone as you made your steps down to the old sedan.
  52. >You had considered locking it but that would be pointless around here, you've got nothing to really steal just a collection of junk nobody would want and it's not a ghetto.
  53. >Of course that didn't include the car, but it wasn't really anything to look at either.
  54. >A faded and dull blueish green, the white trim had been peeling paint and flaking off.
  55. >You frowned looking at the state it's in, especially the tires.
  56. >They had started to crack too, with little black veins carved in threatening to turn it into a death trap at any given moment.
  57. "Ah it'll probably be fine..."
  58. >You're not going on a country road trip just an errand run.
  60. >Getting yourself seated in the tanned pleather seats you fired her up and after moment of choking you shared with the car, in the car-now-oven you went to tune the metal nobs only to feel like you just pinched a piece of coal, immediately reflexively recoiling and cursing.
  61. "Ow! son of a cocksock, that's HOT!"
  62. >"Sheesh. if it's already this bad out in the early morning..."
  63. >'Then you don't want to know what it's going to be like later.'
  64. >Using a makeshift cover you grabbed it with your shirt covering your sensitive fingertips and searched through static...
  65. >And after couple blips of what could have been music, you settled the dial and pulled out.
  66. >"-ooking like another sunny day here in-"
  67. >The antenna jerked to the side, the sudden motion of the car sending the radio back in and out of static.
  68. >'Probably should get that fixed sometime'
  69. >The news forecast, not terribly exciting but for what you have in mind, it's an essential piece of the puzzle.
  70. >You'll drive a little slower than usual... and let the antenna settle.
  72. >You listened intently while navigating the many potholes and cracks along the drive that were just part of a daily obstacle course, now and every time you got in the car, that handled more like a boat.
  73. >Plus there's another reason, the one doing the weather forecast was a new girl.
  74. >Sounds kind of like one of those anime girls you used to watch when you were a weeb.
  75. >She just started a few weeks ago and still had that brimming optimism to her, still hopeful before having those hopes grind into dust on this Earth.
  76. >If you weren't such shit at socializing, a parallel universe you would probably drive down to the station to ask her out.
  77. >And then parallel you would immediately make an ass out of yourself because you don't even know her name.
  78. >"Today we're headed for the upper 90s and even climbing into the 100s later in the week yow!"
  79. >Groaning from the news and dreaded looking ahead, looks like Mother Nature had it out for you this month, or was it Sunbutt giving you some kind of divine punishment? You mused.
  80. >You can't think of any way you could have 'offended her' and shrugged it off. You don't really believe in that kind of stuff anyways, some people were just loopy but it's fun to think about now and then.
  82. >You hope you have enough to cover all the necessities to not land yourself in debt.
  83. >Or bigger debt anyways.
  84. >But at least it's kind of comforting having a passenger to listen to, even if they weren't really there with you.
  85. >"Make sure that you're inside, you don't want to get caught out in the sun and end up toasting your buns"
  86. >You chuckled to yourself pulling up to the parking lot before finally turning in and parking the car.
  87. "Thanks weather girl, but this guy has a little something different in mind."
  88. >"And stay hydrat-"
  89. >With a turn of the key you brought silence to the radio, and only the birds nearby picked it up.
  90. >Slapping the sedan's door shut, they immediately scattered and you strolled into the market.
  91. >You had a busy day ahead of you, but you're ready for anything.
  93. >The line was longer than you had expected.
  94. >Way, way longer than it has any right to be.
  95. >Or maybe that's just due to how many different places you've been today that it's all kind of blurred together?
  96. >You began listing off those so called 'necessities which were anything but.
  97. "Let's see fans, popsicles, a whole lot of bagged ice from the gas station. Water's covered"
  98. >It's around mid afternoon now with the sun fully beating down on you, you're sweating but you cant help but smile.
  99. >You've been back and forth a couple times to your place but the last trip was well worth it.
  100. >Even with all the looks you got in the line after you wound up, a grown man in the toys isle of the local super-market.
  101. >Yet again.
  103. >No stranger to these sorts of isles since picking MLP up, but this time you were in for a surprise along side your main draw.
  104. >A large box sitting by it's lonesome self on the bottom shelf caught your attention
  105. >It was crammed into the water toys section along side the knockoff SUPER-Soakers.
  106. >Kneeling down to a squat.
  107. "Hel-lo~, what do we have here?"
  108. >You traced your fingers along the face of the bold black letters reading it aloud.
  109. "Ginormous Unicorn SPRINKLER..." "Over 6 feet tall"
  110. >You let out a little whistle, genuinely impressed.
  111. >Now here's a Summer toy, where was this kind of stuff when you were a kid?
  112. >Actually come to think of it, would you care back then since My Little Pony was just for girls?
  113. >Ignoring the part where people you've met, and even more people you haven't that would tell you it's still only supposed to be.
  115. >'From BIGMOUTH INC Huh?'
  116. >Never heard of them, but looks like they're doing everything right.
  117. >It's a pony, so that's already a win.
  118. >She looked cute if a little stubby.
  119. >Closed thick stencil eyelashes, really helped bring a tranquility to the design.
  120. >But a bright white 'coat' with a long wild mane of three twisting crayon like colors painted on suggested a completely different nature.
  121. >Even though it's just paint, she looked wet.
  122. >And it suited her with a big gray horn atop her head where all the water shoots out of for all the kids to run under their very own rainbow.
  123. >They really knew what they were doing!
  124. >You were a little envious of the idyllic family on in picture, but it quickly passed.
  125. >You know...
  126. >Now that you think of it she she kind of looked a little familiar, like you've seen her somewhere before?
  127. >Well that's going to be in the back of your mind for a while, but you quickly pushed that thought aside getting right back on track.
  128. >Not official merch.
  129. >But MLP isn't the phenomenon that it used to be, so people moved on and stores went back to normal.
  130. >Besides, Hasbro wouldn't ever make something as cool as this.
  131. >But who knows?
  132. >She might have even made someone's waifu if she was more in a g4 style and put on the show
  133. >Grinning from ear to ear, you just found the ideal companion to share your afternoon with.
  134. >The box was a little beat up around the edges but otherwise looked like it was in good shape, and it was the last one here!
  135. >She'll go hand in hand with your main prize of the day, a JUMBO kiddie pool.
  136. >They probably put her there just so it would be easy for those little gremlins to pick up and cart off to their moms and their collective "I want it" would eventually make the mom cave.
  137. >'Clever girl'
  138. >Rubbing the palms of your hands together in excitement.
  139. "She's Perfect!"
  141. >You held up the line like a big jackass.
  142. >And you looked like even more of one when you made a comment that it felt like inside was even hotter than out.
  143. >What a surprise, another case of an AC clocking out.
  144. >A fact that people were either blissfully unaware of, or trying to ignore until you brought up.
  145. >And now everyone in line silently hated you, the cashier the most of all when you kept pressing him about the price.
  146. >-Beep-
  147. >-Beep-
  148. >-Beep-
  149. >Tapping your foot, you were starting to get impatient.
  150. "What's the hold up?"
  151. >He was hesitant with his words at first.
  152. >"Mr. uhhm.."
  153. "Anonymous."
  154. >You said just as a matter of fact, regardless of how autistic it sounded to say that out loud in real life.
  155. >"But he ran with it, and
  156. >"Mr. Anonymous, there's a.. problem with your item."
  158. "What are you going to refuse to sell it to me because I'm too old and it's only for kids or something?"
  159. >"No! No that's not it..."
  160. >You waited silently, but made motions with your hand to spit it out already.
  161. >'What could it be?' you wondered.
  162. >Maybe someone had reserved it, or maybe it was stolen?
  163. >"If... I can't scan it, then I can't sell it to you."
  164. >'That's it?'
  165. "There's no way I'm going home without THAT sprinkler."
  166. >Standing your ground, you threatened to use your water bottle in a stake-out.
  167. >He rubbed his brow and tried his best to remedy the situation of an unreadable item.
  168. >Which was immediately turning tail and finding a manager.
  169. >Another newbie on the job, that's typical.
  170. >Not a big shock when Summer rolls around every year though and nobody wants to stay in.
  172. >Thankfully after that hiccup, everything was sorted out before long from your perspective
  173. >Who knows how long it actually took to fetch him when you didn't have a watch.
  174. >You didn't care what the problem was, just that it was dealt with so you could get back to your day of fun in the sun.
  175. >Frankly it wasn't even anything in your area, you've worked the register before but it's all blurred away.
  176. >After that bump in the road, you were well on your way again offering them your condolences for their dead air conditioner.
  177. >With your new toy in toe, you hoisted it back to the car.
  178. >Not heavy by any means, but pretty awkward!
  179. >Your entire view, blocked by cardboard the whole way.
  180. >Still. the only thing on your mind was getting the her home and indulging in some well-earned R&R.
  181. >People might not say you deserved it, when you
  182. >But it was well-earned from your view.
  183. >You've suffered enough, now it's time to chill out.
  184. "You're going to be driving shotgun with me"
  185. >Seemingly talking to yourself, maybe looking part crazy to anyone near by.
  186. >And maybe you were, since you were having a one way chat with a picture of a plastic pony on a cardboard box with a big smile..
  187. >We're all a little crazy right?
  188. >What else would you be?
  189. >Normal?
  190. >Such a boring ideal to strive for.
  191. >'Normal'
  192. >You would be some stiff in a cubicle, long ago having moved away from this dead-end town.
  193. >No thanks, don't want it.
  194. >You might be some success to the eyes of your peers and parents instead of a dead-beat son.
  195. >But a 'Normal' wouldn't have ever found the power of ponies.
  196. >All those people saying it's just for little girls, they would have been right.
  197. >You'd just be one more in the voice on the other side thumbing up your nose at cartoon colorful horses.
  199. >What you loved so much about ponies is that it was anything BUT normal!
  200. >It was more than just their sense of forgiveness.
  201. >The ideals they sought after, the love and trust they fought for and earned.
  202. >Everything about them and their world was magical, and pure.
  203. >They could change lives you know, and that's not just some hyperbole, you've seen living proof when people you know strived to be better for their waifus.
  204. >You don't have anything like that and you had stopped watching the show years ago.
  205. >But they could still make you smile just the same.
  206. >Forget the stigma.
  207. >That's why you don't have any care in the world about what someone would think about you buying, carrying, or talking to a big box that's holding a cute unicorn mare toy sprinkler you're going to set up in the yard.
  208. >It might not have been what dear old 'Mom' was after when it was made,
  209. >And it sure wasn't what Mom, that is your actual one wasn't on board with.
  210. >She was sure to vent her disapproval whenever she could.
  211. >In a lot of ways it had meant more to the people like you instead of the original demographic.
  212. >They just wouldn't wouldn't know it unless they really spent a good amount of time around them.
  213. >And it was one of the reasons you had moved out.
  215. >Pulling into the driveway of the small 1 story house, you turned and spoke to your silent cardboard companion.
  216. >It's not much but it's yours.
  217. "Well we're home."
  218. >The whole thing was silly, treating an intimate object more like a person, or a friend.
  219. >And you had even buckled the box with a seat-belt, nice and tight.
  220. >You wondered what she would be like, what kind of a voice would she have?
  221. >That question spilled out of your mouth before you knew it, and then before spending too long on that train of thought, you let it go.
  222. >Best you don't get too caught up in thinking like that, or you'll end up like those tulpa nut-cases.
  224. >Time was against you now, and you'll have to race to beat the sun, moving ever closer to mid day.
  225. >The hottest, most unbearable, clammy, suffocating time of the day.
  226. >Immediately you began unpacking all the goods and goodies.
  227. >Pulling open the rusty old sedan's trunk, you burrowed yourself into the pile of all the odds and ends.
  228. >Toys, games, stuff you should have unpacked long ago and never had any more use for, but still kept around for no legitimate logical reason...
  229. >It didn't take long before you had just ended up using the car more like a portable storage area with the occasional seat.
  230. >No garage so it kind of fills in that role.
  231. >If anyone's ever seen a cluttered garage of junk and even more unused junk, just picture that except condensed into a small space.
  232. >You're not even really sure if all this stuff is yours or just things you picked up along the way.
  233. >Responsibility wasn't exactly your forte, and you never said no to a hand-me-down.
  234. >You had gone on one last stop for some extra treats, along the way.
  235. >They'll have to go in the freezer before it starts to melt...
  236. >But first things first, you had to set the scene.
  237. >Soon this barren land will spring up a new source of water and life!
  238. >Shoving an open box-fan aside, you yanked at the corners of the largest item in your sight, the prized haul for today.
  239. >The pool.
  240. >Pulling it out against the flatbed of the back door and without even bothering to set it down on the ground or fetch for a knife, you just dug your hands right into the cardboard seams and ripped it apart like a kid on Christmas morning.
  241. >You can picture the finished result in vivid detail, it'll be like a small slice of Equestria right in your back yard!
  243. >After the adrenaline passed, you stood there like an idiot for a minute with your big smile.
  244. >Looking in at the crinkled blue plastic wedged inside, underneath a bunch of other packaging, and covered with even more plastic.
  245. >Your big smile was slowly fading.
  246. >...maybe you should have opened it in the back.
  247. >You dragged out the pool to the back and saw the sorry state it's in.
  248. >An idea weaseled into your head for a second that maybe you should do some clean up.
  249. "Ugh! There's no time for that!" You said out-loud.
  250. >Pesky thoughts trying to ruin your day with some sweaty work!? That's the last thing you needed!
  251. >That may have been how 'Normal' You would have taken this opportunity but he can take a hike.
  252. >You grumbled to yourself while emptied the contents dumping everything onto the dried grass.
  253. >Tossing the instructions out, you know there's only one thing you're going to need. Well two things.
  254. >That'll be air and water.
  255. >You might have bought a jumbo kiddie pool and you were itching to try it out, but you shuddered at the thought of having to blow it up.
  256. >By hand,
  257. >With your own feeble, god given, two lungs.
  258. >All the while the sun takes your backside and turns it into a living grill, heat up enough where you could cook on it.
  259. >Hell you would be the one cooking, or being cooked!
  260. >You grimaced through your teeth, sneering down at the big, flat, blue and crinkly oval in your yard.
  261. >About the air part...
  262. >You're pretty sure human's weren't evolved to expend huge amounts of air or people who looked fat might be packing spare pockets of oxygen, like some fedora wearing blue-bear furry's wet dream.
  263. >...
  264. "There's gotta be another way."
  266. >Turning away from it you hunted through your car-garage and miraculously turned up a bike-pump.
  267. >How'd that get there?
  268. >Nobody knows, you don't even own a bike.
  269. >After hooking it up to the nozzle you pumped away furiously and lost track of time, having to throw off your sweat soaked shirt or be
  270. >Looks like 'Normal' You was getting the last laugh after all
  271. >Well who cares, it's better than blowing the thing up by hand anyways...
  272. >...
  274. >Finally it was done.
  275. >Triumphantly you unhooked the pump and after capping the plastic off you threw the pump to the side-edge of the yard, never wanting to see it again.
  276. >You got up and began to reel out the hose and dumped it over the side after splashing your face to cool off.
  277. >Already on, the water shimmered and shined as little ripples started to fill the empty pool which helped lighten the sour mood again.
  278. >Ah, progress at last!
  279. >It's going to be a bonafide paradise, your own little oasis in this desert.
  280. >You patted the bouncy material, satisfied with your work.
  281. >"Just one thing missing..."
  282. >You can't just have an afternoon dip without someone to share it with.
  283. >Well you could, but that's no fun! Especially when you had picked up a pool buddy just for this occasion.
  284. >You got up and made your way back to the car and unbuckled your passenger from the seat-belt.
  285. >Picking up the box you carried her out back and set it down next to the pool.
  286. >Kneeling down, you started to take out some of the peanut packaging and found just a small paper, a slip.
  287. >Instructions probably.
  288. >So you briefly glazed over it.
  289. "Warning: Do Not Leave Child Unattended?"
  290. >Wonder what that's all about.
  291. >Do they really think a kid is going to get injured on this?
  293. >You shrugged and continued reading for a second longer before getting a little annoyed at all the different languages peppered inside it.
  294. >"Yada yada more warnings or something. Just filler as usual." tossing it to the side.
  295. >Kind of overkill but small companies gotta protect themselves you guess.
  296. >Patting the side "You wouldn't hurt anyone would you, cutie?
  297. >You flattened out the sides of the box ripping at the cardboard seams so you could better get at this sprinkler.
  298. >There she was, or there she was coiled up in a barely recognizable sheet of white with occasional wild colors streaking across the side.
  299. >But you could tell it's the same thing from the picture.
  300. >After unrolling and pressing it out along the grass you can finally get a good look.
  301. >Sure you saw the picture at the store, but it really paled to do it justice until you see it in person.
  302. >It was big, She was big!
  303. >Longer than you were tall, and bulky if you could call thin, but wide strips of hooves bulky.
  304. >Even her mane was flayed out like a technicolor fan.
  305. >For now she's just a 2d Flat-lander girl, give or take the only 'solid' piece was her gray horn, no doubt the sprinkler part, but soon the rest of her will be joining the land of the 3d too!
  306. >You chuckled at the sight.
  307. >She looked absolutely content, /and/ lazy, just lying there all sprawled out on all fours splayed to the side.
  308. >A big dumb smile and closed thick eyelashes, like she's just going to happily waste away the entire day.
  309. >You almost hate to budge it, instead of just joining her.
  310. >And maybe if there was some shade nearby you would, but all you've got to look forward to is the cool water spraying out of the hose right this minute.
  311. >But that's going to have to wait, as you rolled her over searching for the nozzle.
  312. >Oh fuck, is this going to be another one you have to inflate by hand?
  313. >You glanced over your shoulder to the spot you lost the bike pump somewhere in the uncut grass.
  314. >...
  316. "..."
  317. >...
  318. >Thank god for Bigmouth.
  319. >After some searching and feeling around, you found that there was a wide valve on her underside.
  320. >Waterproof by the looks of it.
  321. >That's good enough.
  322. >You pulled the hose out of the pool and screwed in the head.
  323. >It's go time.
  324. "Rise and shine my little pony!"
  325. >The rush of water pushed under the plastic and ever so slowly started to pool out, spreading through out the whole body
  326. >If there was going to be any rising or shining it wouldn't be any time soon.
  327. >Maybe that was a little early.
  328. >You realized that this is going to take a bit, and you could just sit here and watch her slowly take shape.
  329. >Another day you would.
  330. >But right now you really don't want to spend another second baking under the sun, unless it involved water and an ice cold beer.
  331. >Well judging by the rate, it'll give you the perfect amount of time needed to get ready.
  332. >Jumping back onto your feet you kneel down and give her still mostly-flat muzzle a little boop.
  333. >It's customary horsefucker culture to boop all ponies in the area, even not fully formed ones.
  334. "Wait right there babe, I just need to go get into something more comfortable before we continue."
  335. >Into the house you went, through the screen backdoor as it swung shut with a small clatter.
  337. >...
  338. >You've decked yourself out with all sorts of aquatic swim-wear.
  339. >Bright goggles strung around your neck and they came fully equipped with a black snorkel that hung limply to the side.
  340. >Even flippers, yes.
  341. >Comically out of place for a backyard dip, that they may be...
  342. >But you're going to take this shit serious! You have to if you want to get any enjoyment out of the day.
  343. >For a final touch you had dabbed some light green tinted sunscreen you had picked up at the kids isle too.
  344. >And you apply it thick and liberally, putting it on in streaks like war paint.
  345. >You peeked out the window to check how your inflating friend is doing.
  346. >It's a tight squeeze, but you can just make out a slim line of white and you could make out the neck was swaying a bit back and forth.
  347. >Must be getting a little windy out, not in the forecast but that's a pleasant surprise from the dry heat!
  348. >More importantly if it was already that big by the time you'd get done in here she was sure to be ready for some wet fun in the sun!
  349. >You were pretty excited to see the sprinkler pony in it's full glory.
  350. >It's better off this way like walking out to a big surprise, instead of monitoring it slowly grow like one of those experiments in a chemical vat.
  351. >Sci-Fi was cool, just... not really your thing after that.
  352. >The family would never have let you have a toy this cool, the stock photo kid on the box really didn't know how good he had it.
  353. >Turning your attention back to finishing up gathering your supplies
  354. >Now you're ready to take on Sun-butt's fury of a thousand dry spells.
  355. >Your weapon of choice? An inner-tube hooked around your right arm, and after a trip to fridge, a stocked cooler in your left.
  356. >Your feet, now made loud flopping sounds on the cement floor as you made a round trip with the refreshments.
  357. >You have become Anon the Amphibious. Today you shall live in the water, and be one with it.
  359. >Setting the cooler down by pool, now you only had a little more time to wait and you figure you can just watch the pony from the water.
  360. >You climbed over one of the sides and straddled the bouncy material for a second dropping one of your hairy legs into the water.
  361. >It's cold!
  362. >Great, that's just the way you want it and it better stay that way.
  363. >Still straddling the pool you reached into the cooler for your refreshments.
  364. >You forgot something, the ice!
  365. >This won't do. It's gotta be perfect, you can't just have 1 big piece of the puzzle missing
  366. >You had your gear, and your pony, now you need your drinks.
  368. >You awkwardly dragged your flipper feet along the grass and dragged your half-wet ass out of the backyard.
  369. >Then you circled around and while you dragged the bags right out of the back seat of the car you heard something unusual carried in from the wind.
  370. >Someone new.
  371. >"Hello?"
  372. >Huh. You didn't expect to hear anyone around here, around working hours.
  373. >And it's still the weekday, just Tuesday.
  374. >That's not a voice you recognized, but then again you don't really have much familiarity with your neighbors.
  375. >Maybe they're moving in? Picking up the bag and tossed each over your shoulders
  376. >You listened for sounds of trucks or the tell tale sign of loud unpacking, you certainly don't SEE any on this side of the house.
  377. >"Come out, come out little girls!"
  378. >Pondering about it going back in.
  379. >You don't really get newbies often but if it is they would have picked the worst time to do it.
  380. >Why would anyone want to move here of all places anyways?
  381. >You set one of the bags aside away from the sun and stuffed it into your freezer.
  382. >The sight makes you frown.
  383. >It's bigger than you anticipated and kind of takes up the whole thing.
  384. >Well... at least it won't melt.
  386. >Opening one of the shades, you pressed your face against the screen and peered out to the sides.
  387. >Again nothing you noticed out of the unusual, but again there's the voice of someone near by.
  388. >Now that sounded kind of like it was coming near by, like out back?
  389. >Who /is/ that?
  390. >There's something familiar about it.
  391. >Almost sounds like... the radio girl?
  392. >Nah, that's crazy, there's no way she'd be out here, she doesn't even know where you live!
  393. >"Yoohoo! Anybody here?"
  394. >Your future frog-self floating in a cool pond now fully put on hold by this new wrench in your day
  395. >It won't take long to figure out.
  396. >You had to know what was going on so you slowly duck walked towards the back door.
  397. >Pulling it open made you drop everything in your possession and the ice bags slapped onto the floor with a loud thud.
  398. >As you stood there in little more than a bathing suit you were immediately hit with disappointment that sucked all the energy out of the room, like a new balloon you wanted to play with was popped right in front of your eyes by an asshole clown.
  399. >Who ever was here looks like they made off with your new plastic pal.
  400. "Son of a..!" you cursed under your breath.
  402. >You really thought this town was better than this, but I guess this is why you lock your car doors.
  403. >The only thing you've got now to look forward to is a wet soak and..
  404. >Oh shit the beer! That's a precious resource right there!
  405. >Gracelessly rushing over to the poolside you keeled down and clung to the container, whipping it open.
  406. >They were still here!
  407. >What a relief.
  408. >You're going to need that to drink away your loss.
  409. >It'll be a bitter kind of drunk, instead of the fun carefree one you had pictured.
  410. >But at least you won't have to fully deal with nasty reality for a bit.
  411. >Kind of weird for the thief to only make off with a sprinkler...
  412. >You suppose there's some novelty to it, some uniqueness but really?
  413. >Stealing someone's else's pony is just low.
  414. >You never even got to see her.
  415. "It can't get any worse than this can it?"
  416. >Deciding to open one and get this pity party started, you flipped off the cap and brought it to your lips when an ominous shadow crept up behind you, throwing you into shade.
  418. >Oh here comes the rain.
  419. >What gives? You thought the forecast was supposed to be sunny all day?
  420. >Did the weather girl lie to you?
  421. >If it blotted out the sun that fast there must be a nasty storm rolling in.
  422. >You're all for some time-out from the blasting heat but couldn't it have been any other day, not one you've spent weeks planning?
  423. >And right now? Right after you were already jerked around in life by some nigger.
  424. >You should have kept your mouth shut and now you jinxed yourself.
  425. >Well time to check the damage.
  426. >Craning your neck, you looked up to the sky directly above, searching for clouds.
  427. >What you saw made you catch your breath in your throat, sending some of the beer down the wrong tube and you into a choking coughing fit.
  428. >You dropped it right out of your hands and it rolled into the uncut grass, giving the ground a nice good drink.
  429. >You sure could use one right about now...
  430. >Or ten.
  432. >What you saw was indeed blocking out your sun, but it's no cloud.
  433. >A towering white neck, and a rounded muzzle wearing a wide thin smile stared back at you, with big, colorful, saucer-sized eyes.
  434. >It's not a storm of any usual kind, it was a shitstorm.
  435. >This hulking monster was accompanied by a higher chipper sweetened voice that betrayed the danger.
  436. >"Hi there~!"
  437. >"Ready to have some fun, little guy?"
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