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Polite Fluffy Ponies 2

Jun 21st, 2012
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  1. >It's been almost a month since you acquired a tiny urban herd of five fluffy ponies.
  2. >Two Stallions, a pale yellow pegasi with a luxurious black mane, and a one-eyed green-and-different-darker-green-mane ordinary fluffy.
  3. >Decided to name them Caution and Odin.
  4. >Three Mares, the first is an affectionate coffee-colored earth fluffy who was a dam when you first met her, and the second was her only surviving foal after you met her for the second time, an orange-and-yellow unicorn.
  5. >Their names became Bean and Hazard.
  6. >You suspect that Caution may have been Hazard's father, but you haven't seen any special hugs occur yet.
  7. >The third mare is the smarty friend who is responsible for the herd's adoption.
  8. >And she's currently a little bloated.
  9. >"Pwease, fwiend, gib moh nummies foh bebbehs? Fwuffy wan be gud mummeh!"
  10. >Yeah, apparently the smarty friend, who you initialy identified as a male, was, in fact, female the entire time.
  11. >Gotta learn to look at those eyelashes closer.
  12. >She never took to a name, and asked you, very kindly, to please just call her "Fluffy".
  13. >It was who she was, and after some consideration, that was good enough to you.
  14. >Though, privately, you acknowledge the name you wanted to give her... Concrete, would have been better suited to a male.
  15. >Odin gently pushes his bowl over to her. "Fwuffy hungie? Pwease haf dese nummies. Ohd'n Shawe."
  16. >"Nuu Ohd'n! T'ank yuu, dose yuu nummies! Fwuffy nuu tahke foodies fwom hewd. Aks fwiend foh moh foodies."
  17. >You reach down and pat her gently.
  18. "I'll see what I can get for you, Fluffy. Odin, have you had enough food for tonight?"
  19. >Odin looks down at his half-eaten meal. Of all the fluffies in my home, he's probably the quietest and lowest-energy.
  20. >He can run and play like anyone else, but inside the house, he's a bedding potato, sometimes he doesn't even want to come downstairs for the morning walk.
  21. >"Yeh, Ohd'n dun need muh foodies. Pwease Fwuffy take? Babbies need foodies."
  22. "Okay Odin. Fluffy, Odin is giving you some of his food."
  23. >"Tan'k yuu Ohd'n!" Fluffy cheeps merrily, reaching out to give Odin a Hug, which he returns. She then digs in to the remains of the meal.
  24. >you have never figured out why fluffy ponies make a little repeated "nom" sound while eating. It's pretty clearly a vocalization, not an accident of their swallowing or anything...
  25. >While your herd finishes their meals, you leave them in your kitchen, and head out to your tiny postage stamp of a back yard.
  26. >Fluffy ponies alone in a kitchen would have seemed disastrous to you before you met this herd, but the grey mare smarty friend does a suspiciously good job of keeping them in line.
  27. >Your garden is in full bloom: daffodils, marigolds, lots of brightly colored flowers.
  28. >Originally it was to bring some color and growth into your life.
  29. >Now that you add the fluffy pony "fertilizer" to the flower patch daily, it's almost more useful as a source of treats for your ponies.
  30. >For some reason you can't fathom, Fluffy ponies love the taste of flowers.
  31. >You've tried them yourself, and found them bitter and waxy, but hey, who are you to judge?
  32. >After all, you eat Barbecue Funyuns.
  33. >Snip off a few flowers and gather them into a tiny bouquet before heading inside.
  34. "Allright everyone, I have a treat for you!"
  35. >"Tweat!" Hazard comes dashing around the corner at full speed, almost 5 mph. "Hazad wuv tweats!"
  36. >The youngest and most impulsive member of your family, she still doesn't have a 100% grasp on the same social niceties her elders posses.
  37. >Her haste has cost her though, as her hooves find no traction on the hardwood floor near the door.
  38. >Damn it, you don't have your cell phone there to record the most adorable spin out ever.
  39. >The rest of the herd, giving some aid to their smarty dam (who still does 90% of her own walking, but thanks each of her attendants), bobbles in a little more slowly.
  40. "Here everyone, because you've been good fluffies, here is a bouquet!"
  41. >Eyes sparkle. Chorus of "Ooohhh!" "Smeww pwetty!" "Dese fuh fwuffies?" "Pwease can haf'?"
  42. >Graciously, you spread out the flowers in front of your assembled herd, and, eagerly, they begin to chew down with delicate noms.
  43. >They are mostly in agreement, "Best noms. T'ank yuu fwiend!"
  44. >Caution nudges Hazard, who has her mouth full. "Hazad, be nice to fwiend!"
  45. >Hazard looks up, and, with a petal still stuck to her nose, declares "Tank Yuu daddeh! Hazad wuv tweets!"
  46. >She's the only fluffy that calls you "daddy". All the rest just call you friend.
  47. >Maybe because you were there for her birth?
  48. >You dismiss the notion, and take everyone out for their post-dinner walk.
  49. >The herd takes a healthy amble, once around the block.
  50. >Naturally, you go with them for safety reasons.
  51. ---
  52. >That night, you empty their litter box and go to tuck them in to their bedding in the safe room.
  53. >It's actually the under-the-stairs storage area, but all you were using it for before was keeping your storm windows, that you hadn't put up ever. One day's cleaning later, and it was a comfortable little place for a small urban herd to bed down.
  54. "Good night my little herd. Do you want the night-light on?"
  55. >"Yea pwease, T'ank yuu Fwiend." The grey smarty friend fluffy dam smiles sleepily up at you.
  56. >You plug in the little blue canary, and give them all one last pat and hug before closing the door for the night.
  57. ---
  58. >After finishing your evening routine, you make yourself ready for bed, and are just about to commit yourself to another blissful night of solitude when you hear a tiny, tinny "Owwie!"
  59. >It's not very loud, hell, it sounded like it was a mile away.
  60. >Sobbing.
  61. >It's coming from the air duct.
  62. >Carefully, you put your ear to the grill and listen.
  63. >"Why Cash'n gif owwies ta' Hazad?"
  64. >"Cash'n sowwy. Nuu gif big owwies. Hazan need 'membeh, Hoomen nuu is daddeh, is fwiend."
  65. >"Bu-bu-bu, Daddeh gif nummies fuh fwuffies... an *sniffle* daddeh pwotect fwuffies, daddeh wuv fwuffies, hoomen is daddeh!"
  66. >A breathless moment passes.
  67. >"Owwies! Why Smawty Fwiend gif Hazad owwies? Hazad wuv smawty fwiend!"
  68. >You think for a moment, and realize that you haven't heard your herd refer to the dam as "smarty friend" in a long time. You had assumed that once you adopted them that she had just... regressed to a regular Fluffy.
  69. >"Smawty Fwiend sowwy. Hazad wis'n. Smawty fwiend 'membeh Hoomen fwiend. B'Fow Hoomen fwiend. Hoomen came wif sowwy stick. Hoomen Nuu cawe fow fwuffies den. Wan' gif biggest owwies. Gif foweveah sweep. Meanie Munstah Hoomen Gif fowevah sweep tuu Smawty Fwiend mummeh, b'fow was Smawty Fwiend. Smawty Fwiend Mummeh caww meanie munstah hoomen "Daddeh".
  70. >Brief silence.
  71. >"Hazad Wis'n. Odin had Daddeh, Daddeh Meanie Munstah Hoomen. Take Eye. Nuu gif bak. Gif Eye to Black Birdie Munstahs. Odin caww meanie munstah hoomen "daddeh".
  72. >Another Brief Silence.
  73. >"Hazad Wis'n. Cash'n had nuu daddeh. Cash'n Mummeh wuv Cash'n. But so hungie, wan' foodies foh bebbehs. Cash'n go tuu Hoomen. Hoomen nice to mummeh, gif nummies. Mommeh caww hoomen "daddeh". Hoomen became meanie munstah hoomen. Gif Cash'n Mummeh foweveh sweep.
  74. >The pause is broken by a single quiet sob.
  75. >"Hazad, Bean wuv Hazad. Hazad gud bebbeh." *sniffle* "Nuu wan' Hazad go 'way. Caww Hoomen "Daddeh", an' Hoomen make Hazad go 'way." another gentle sob "Daddehs make bebbehs go 'way. Pwease Hazad, caww hoomen "Fwiend".
  76. >"Hazad sowwy! Hazad be gud fwuffy! Nuu wan' go 'way! No cwy Mummeh! Nuu cwy Smawty fwiend! Hazad 'membeh! Hazad Caww Hoomen "fwiend!"
  77. >They engage in some muted conversation afterwards, but you've lost the will to eavesdrop.
  78. ---
  79. >You are having a bit of a hard time getting to sleep tonight.
  80. >It's the most depressing thing you've ever heard, and parsing it into a more human way of saying it makes it worse.
  81. >Fathers protect us, fathers feed us, fathers love us.
  82. >But fathers tore apart their families, fathers crippled them, fathers betrayed them, and fathers would do it all again given the chance.
  83. >So they would never have a father again.
  84. >Only have friends.
  85. >It made sense, in it's own way. It also explained a lot of things. Fluffies were usually very nice to each other, with hugs and asking permission and sharing and such things.
  86. >But normal, housepet fluffies he'd run into before had been dumb as rocks and demanding as a spoiled toddler. "Fwuffy wan" this and "sketties" that.
  87. >Your fluffies had never even asked for spaghetti, well, except Hazard, once. A week or so ago.
  88. >You suspect now that there had been a similar intervention in the safe room that night.
  89. >Briefly, your face twists into a smirk "Sketties kiwwed Cash'n famiwy." you imagine Caution saying.
  90. >Immediately afterwards, you're depressed again. That was grim, and in bad taste too.
  91. >Well, it would be if they were human, at least.
  92. >With a final, deep breath, you will yourself into a state of disquiet slumber.
  93. >You dream of your own father.
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