I think I am going to write some shitposts while on the plane. Or maybe a story.

Ursaring sat under a tree. "I am an Ursaring now" Ursaring thought to himself.

Moments before, Ursaring was a Teddiursa. "I am going to eat honey" Teddiursa said. This is stupid.

ENTER: POKEMON ORIGIN OF SPECIES: SPECIES OF ORIGIN

"WOW A GUN I ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE THINGS!" Red proclaimed as Professor Oak gave him a gun. "Now now child don't use it carelessly! Oh ho ho" Professor Oak said. "Wait how do I fire one of these things I have never had before" Red curiously said as he held it upright. "No Red DON'T!"

*BANG*

Red shot Professor Oak and there was a lot of blood. "Hey it's the ketchup trick from cartoons!" Red said amused as he fired another shot at the face-down Oak. "You're pretty good at this ha ha ha!" Blood kept splattering everywhere until Red ran out of bullets. "Huh? Why did it stop?"

Gary BlueGreen Oak entered the lab. "Hey gramps I smelled something weird and OH MY GOD GRANDPA!" Gary exclaimed as he ran over to his grandfather. "How many times do we have to tell you not to sleep face-down!" Gary rolled Professor Oak over to reveal his blank lifeless face. "Hi Gary" Red said. "Hi Red" Gary said. Suddenly a female Charizard, Red's Charizard, entered the lab. "Hello Red I am a Charizard and female are you ready for the sexual?" Red's female Charizard spoke to Red. "Sure am! Bye Gary!" "Bye Red." Red got on his only Charizard, his female Charizard, and flew out of the lab. "RED WAIT YOU FORGOT YOUR BACKPACK!" Leaf GreenBlue NoName yelled out to the pair flying off, but it was too late. "Hi honey welcome back" Gary said to Leaf. "Ready for the sexual?" "Only if you remember what pantsu I was wearing last time" Leaf said as she teased her skirt. "Hmmmm... yellow?" "Huh?" Amarillo said poking her head up from above the cubicle with some cup noodle noodles in her mouth. "Not you." Amarillo slurped up her noodles leaving some splatters around her lips. "Okay" Amarillo said as her head disappeared behind the cubicle again. Meanwhile Leaf had became angry.

Meanwhile, Red was flying in the sky on his female Charizard and his gun. "I wish I could get my gun fixed" Red said. Red then noticed a gun store selling lots of different guns. "Maybe they can help! My female Charizard let's go down there!" "But what about the sexual?" "There's not going to be any sexual in this story stupid bitch." "Damn" Red's female Charizard said as she flew down to the gun shop kiosk being ran by a hiker. "DO HO HO! WELL IF IT ISN'T RED!" the Hiker said as he saw Red. "How did you know my name?" "Why wouldn't I know the name of the... the... th-the..." the Hiker tried to finish as he began stuttering at the sight of Red's female Charizard. "I-is that a... a... A-?!?!..." The Hiker jumped a prefect arc over to Red's female Charizard approximately 3 meters away. "Uh, that's just my female Char-" "CHARRRRRRRIIIIIZZZZAAAARRRRDDDDDDD!!!!!!" the Hiker yelled as he started kissing Red's female Charizard all over. Red's female Charizard became unamused. "NOVA FLAME!!!" Red's female Charizard spoke with the male english dub of Greymon and set the Hiker on fire. "Oops, sorry" Red's female Charizard spoke to the Hiker. "Oh no I'm on fire!" the Hiker yelled as he rolled on the ground to put out the fire. "Ok I am no longer on fire" the Hiker said.

"So! Mr... Mr... mister do you have a name?" Red asked. "Nope!" the Hiker said. "Ok I will give you a name and your name is now Calvin." Calvin began to grow when he was meant to glow but I typed the wrong word so he grew instead now. "Look Red I grew! Thank you!" Calvin said. "Calvin return!" Red said as he returned Calvin to his Poke Ball. "NOOOOOOoooooo...." Calvin cried out as he was put in one of Red's Poke Balls. "Ok my female Charizard, let's load up" Red said to his female Charizard.

"WHY DO YOU NEVER REMEMBER THE COLOR OF MY PANTSU!!!!" Leaf yelled at Gary while hitting him. "You never let me smell them when you say I can later." Leaf stopped hitting Gary and became flustered. "All I need to do is let you sniff my pantsu and then you will remember the color of my pantsu?" she asked. "Stop calling them pantsu it sounds weird in this story being typed in english" Gary said. "Fine. My panties. If you smell my panties will you remember what color they are?" Leaf asked. Gary nodded his head eagerly. "Ok turn around." Gary turned around. Leaf grabbed her panties still covered by her skirt. "Oh no we have a problem!" Amarillo exclaimed. "EEP!" Leaf yelled as she turned around no longer messing with her panties. "Finally... I get to smell them later..." Gary murmured while drooling. "Take a look at this!" Amarillo said as she turned on the big screen to reveal a montage of ramen. "Oops, wrong channel hehe" Amarillo said as she embarrassingly changed the channel. "Now look!" Leaf took on a serious face, but then noticed Gary was still waiting so she made him look at the screen too, much to his disappointment.

Veridian City was in chaos. "Oh hey it's the Hiker who runs the gun shop. I didn't know he was in movies now" Gary said. "This isn't a movie! This is live footage from Spearow News!" Amarillo explained. "Lt. Surge, what do you see out there?" the voice of Mr. Pokemon said. Lt. Surge appeared on screen with a microphone. "MAN, THIS REMINDS ME OF WAR, MAN! THERE'S GUNFIRE EVERYWHERE AND- WAIT, IS THAT A FEMALE CHARIZARD?!" Lt. Surge reported. The camera began to follow Red riding his female Charizard flying towards an oversized gigantic Calvin. "MAN, THAT KID'S CRAZY, MAN! WHAT IS HE DOING?! HEY CAMERAMAN GET A BETTER SHOT!" Lt. Surge commanded. "Don't tell me what to do" Erika's voice said as she zoomed in on Red riding his female Charizard.

"RED?!?" the three in the lab exclaimed. "Oh he did it now" Professor Oak said while standing behind everyone. "PROFESSOR OAK?!?" the girls exclaimed. "Hey Grandpa I was wondering when you were going to wake up" Gary said. "Sorry my grandson, those bullets did a real number on me" Professor Oak said. "Professor Oak, do you know what is happening?' Leaf asked. "Yes, I do. It involves your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins." "What's so special about our Origins?" Gary asked. "You will find out soon enough. Amarillo, if you willo" Professor Oak said. "Don't say that" Amarillo said as she pressed a nearby button unenthusiastically. The room got dark except for a spotlight that was cast upon a rising table appearing from the floor with flowing smoke and three guns on top.

"Well this was a mistake" Red said to his female Charizard he was riding. "Oh really?! Shooting a person who broke out of his Poke Ball after growing unnaturally was a mistake?! You're just now figuring that out?!" Red's female Charizard angrily retorted. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO USED NOVA FLAME ON HIM!" Red snapped back. "RRRROOOOOAAAAARRRR" Calvin shouted, causing wind that blew the two out of flying straight. "Well at least we stole all his guns and ammo" Red said, looking back at the haul his female Charizard had been equipped with. "NOVA FLAME!!!" Red's female Charizard said in the same voice as before again as she blasted Calvin's face. "RRRRRRRROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!!" Calvin roared louder as the smoke cleared to reveal he was completely unaffected. "Well this was a mistake" Red's female Charizard said. "Oh really?! Shooting a Nova Flame at Calvin was a-!" Calvin swatted the two before he could finish sending them straight to the ground instantly. "DY... DY..." Calvin bellowed.

"Allow me to explain the situation involving your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins." Amarillo happily finished her cup noodle, set it down, and walked over to the table to grab a sniper rifle nearly as tall as her when placed on the floor vertically. "It's been generations since I've had a reason to use this again!" Amarillo excitingly said. "These guns have been passed down from generation to generation, and now it is your turn to once again embrace your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins." "Stop saying it like that" Leaf said. Professor Oak paused for a moment to look at Leaf. "No." Professor Oak stopped looking at her and walked over to the table that had two guns left.

"Gary, as per your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins." Professor Oak looked back at the gun and continued. "Your lineage has always honed this bazooka." Professor Oak picked up the large bazooka with one hand and threw it to Gary who crashed to the ground due to its size and weight. "I CAN'T BREATHE!" Gary barely exclaimed with half his breath with his head poking out of one of the sides. "Leaf, as per your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins." Professor Oak looked back at the gun. "Your lineage has always honed the shotgun." Professor Oak tossed it her way and she caught it naturally ending with a baton twirl. Professor Oak smiled. "You always make it look so easy." Leaf's face embodied confusion. "Wait! Professor Oak, I've never used a gun before! How did I know to do that?! What do you mean "always"?!"

The smoke cleared revealing Red and his female Charizard getting up from the crater they had caused when they crashed. "Ow! That hurt!" Red yelled holding his fist up to the sky. "Huh?" He noticed he was holding the well-built pistol in his fist. "I didn't let go of this thing?" "You haven't let go of it since you got it" Red's female Charizard said. Red stared at his pistol. "Red?" Red's female Charizard called out to him. Red smiled. "Okay! Sounds good!" Red affirmed confidently. "Red are you okay?" Red's female Charizard asked. "Don't worry my female Charizard we got it all under control! You're just going to need some extra firepower" Red said as he tossed a grenade launcher to his female Charizard and sheathed his pistol. "Red I don't understand what is going on!" Red's female Charizard said as Red got on to ride her again. "Calvin won't know what hit him!" Red said. "Are you even listening to me?!" Red's female Charizard yelled.

"H... help..." Gary said still crushed by his bazooka. Amarillo walked over and kicked it off him, but it still only rolled once as if it was nudged. Gary got up and caught his breath. "Gramps how do you expect me to carry that thing?!?" "The same way this whole mess began which is due to your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Yeah yeah Origins or whatever" Gary said before Professor Oak. "Origins" Professor Oak said anyways despite being interrupted. "Well I'm going to go on ahead" Amarillo said walking out of the lab. "Don't worry they'll catch up soon!" Professor Oak reassured her. Amarillo aimed at the ground outside before firing a shot to propel herself towards the scene. "Professor Oak you still haven't explained anything!" Leaf yelled. "You're right. Allow me to tell you about your..." Professor Oak paused for a moment. "Origins."

Professor Oak changed the channel which showed two cups of ramen intimately staring at each other. Professor Oak changed the channel again without anyone saying anything. "Long ago..."

To Be Continued