Hell is other people

from /hhg/ Hazbin Hotel general #476 and #477
other Title.

"Arthur Burbridge should really be in Heaven instead of Hell"
"Visili was supposed to be in Limbo, but volunteered to stay in Hell for research purposes"
"Red has killed an Exterminator with Witch's Jelly. Never again."
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How would the characters from Roadside Picnic fare in HH/HB?
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>Slavic dudes in gasmasks going to abandoned buildings to collect Hell artifacts to sell to the Vatican once they get topside
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>Red looks the most 'human' out of all of the ex-stalkers, but he passively causes Artifacts to pop into existence around him. Also bleeds Witch's Jelly.
>Visili has a gaping, bloody hole where his heart should be, and creates more Cobweb anomalies by simply being
>Burbridge is in Limbo due to a severe clerical error
>Arthur Burbridge is in hell in his stead
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>Witch's Jelly is far more dangerous than holy water
>Hell is a cakewalk compared to the Zones
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you know shits bad on earth when hell is an easier place to live
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yep
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I forgot to mention that they were still human.
They found the page after Blitzo lost it during a job.
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That too, but think about it like this. Stalkers prefer Hell to the Zones. The Zones are just that bad.
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>roadside picnic what-ifs
>No mention of Porcupine, who fucking killed himself upon getting his one true desire from the Golden Orb-- Money
>and not wishing for his brother back from the dead
>implying he doesn't meet the other stalkers after being in hell for a while
>Greed is a sin, and suicide is a MASSIVE sin against heaven
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I've never actually read Road-Side picnic, I'm going off the STALKER games
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>Red is a walking Zone
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>The Von Eldritch family are descended from Wilbur Whateley
>Lucifer and Michael are both worried about the state of affairs on Earth after hearing news about multiple Zones appearing
>The Hayot are investigating Adina and Uriel
>Conquest opens a paintball arena in Hell. The paintballs are filled with Witch's Jelly.
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For context, Witch's Jelly ruins anything solid that it comes into contact with, turning it into more of itself. It's also called Hell Slime in the English translation.
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>Red starts bleeding himself to collect Witch's Jelly in phials
>'Just in case', he says.
>Everyone hopes it never gets used. EVERYONE.
>Cobweb anomalies are annoying as hell. Heart attacks can't kill demons, but they hurt like a bitch.
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If there's any writefags around, could we get a story about Red's case worker in Purgatory absolutely fangasming over meeting one of, if not THE most well-known Stalkers?
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Anyone?
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not a writefag but I have no idea what is "Red's case worker" or who is the most well-known Stalkers.
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Redrick/Red was previously working for the Russian government in an official capacity to recover artifacts from the Zones, and the reason he's the most well-known Stalker is due to how long he's been active. As for his case worker, pretty much the person who decided he was fit for Hell.
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wow, thanks for telling me that anon.

but what artifacts are they going after?, if they are going to met the well-known Stalker.
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Anything, really. As long as they don't get killed by any of the many anomalies within the Zones, any artifacts they find are worth a helluva lot of money.

And really, Redrick would be dead already. That's why he's in hell.
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hm, I like it.

now I want to see a story of this.
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>Turns out "HAPPINESS FOR EVERYBODY, FREE, AND NO ONE WILL GO UNSATISFIED!" just meant happiness for those in what they want in that moment.
>OH, sure, said Red's caseworker, as she looked over his file with a grimace
>your wish was selfless indeed... but happiness for everybody just meant they got what they wanted in that moment.
>A warm meal for the homeless. A million dollars for someone in debt. A mother and her single child having their mortgage paid off
>It was a fleeting wish and you ultimately changed nothing for a majority of the world.
>Sorry, you're off to Hell, she said, because of everything else you did before that.
>Like smuggling Witch's Jelly out of the zone
>and letting Arthur die painfully within the Meat Grinder.
>That act in of itself was quite a conundrum, and you'd be in Purgatory were it not for all of those other things
>Including letting your father bumble around in your home. That was very selfish indeed.
>Dying of a brain aneurysm was your ultimate reward, and now you're off to hell

>Now? With those snobby angels coming around once a year, you've made it your job to figure out everything about Pentragram City.
>And the area outside of pentagram city
>Which is mostly just souless rock mountains pockmarked by yellowish lightning clouds and mindless demons, the ones unfit for "civilized life"
>whether it be cruel irony, or a cosmic joke on god's part, you are paid a stipend to go out every weekend to find Hell's lost artifacts.
>Turns out Lucifer and his cohorts have tons of lost items outside of the pentagram.
>You never see the big man himself; its always contacts and smugglers, and opportunistic jackasses looking to loot you of the things you find outside of the pentagram
>You don't know what the purpose is these items: a skull with a carving on it here, a spear made from flesh there...
>it was all the same to you
>At least it wasn't fucking illegal this time