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- My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
- I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have Sex?'
- 'No,' she answered.
- I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
- She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
- So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
- And that's when the fight started...
- _____________________________________________________________
- My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
- reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his
- drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
- I asked her, "Do you know him?"
- "Yes", she sighed,
- "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking
- right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
- hasn't been sober since."
- "My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on
- celebrating that long?"
- And then the fight started...
- _____________________________________________________________
- My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
- She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,
- "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you
- to pay me a compliment.'
- I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
- And then the fight started........
- _____________________________________________________________
- One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
- as a Christmas gift...
- The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
- When she asked me why, I replied,
- "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
- And that's how the fight started.....
- _____________________________________________________________
- My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.
- She asked, "What's on TV?"
- I said, "Dust."
- And then the fight started.
- _____________________________________________________________
- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
- She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."
- I bought her a bathroom scale.
- And then the fight started......
- _____________________________________________________________
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