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- /co/ - Helluva Boss
- h ttps://desuarchive.org/co/thread/138293069/#138299143
- /hhg/ Helluva Hotel General # 1178 - Sideshow Beauties Edition
- h ttps://desuarchive.org/trash/thread/59537457/#59604656
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- Speaking of Paimon...
- -
- >Paimom
- He is a shapeshifter, he can make it happen.
- -
- Having it be an AU where Paimon was naturally a bird milf is the only way it can work.
- That said
- >Tfw the tall chick you had a one night stand with turns out to be one of the most powerful Goetian demons of her royal line.
- >tfw it turns out that one night stand turned into a 9 month long happy accident.
- >Tfw you're the estranged father of a princess from Hell.
- >tfw you accidentally made a wine-mom out of Paimon
- -
- aint this the plot of Satina?
- -
- >He's right.
- More or less but at least the guy gets to see and take care of his daughter in that. In this setting since seemingly humans aren't meant to know about Hell until they get there, I imagine you'd never actually know about Fem!Stolas being your daughter, nor would she know about you. Fits in with us never actually seeing Stolas' mom in the show.
- -
- >Die
- >Turns out having s-x with a demon, even unknowably, is a ticket to Hell
- >Second you step foot into the city proper you're jumped by guards
- >Throw you into a limo
- >Get taken to a swanky gothic mansion/castle
- >Frogmarched to a throneroom
- >Shape-shifting black mass is sitting on the throne
- >Turns into a big bird lady as you approach
- >She was your one night stand so long ago
- >Not only that, but she had your kid after
- >No only not only that, you even have a grandkid
- >That's kind of neat
- >Tells you that you can meet them later, first comes the discussion of your missed child support payments
- >For all her children, not just the two
- >F-k, this really is Hell
- -
- >Beg not to be a wagie in Hell for the rest of eternity to pay off this bird btch despite the fact she's already rich as f-k.
- >Reach the agreement that perhaps you can pay another way.
- >Go on a month long trip being the messenger boy to explain to a bunch of motherless kids why their real mom can't attend their birthday parties.
- >Also now you're stuck as the resident f-kbuddy for this cougar bird milf.
- >At some point, the topic of visiting Fem!Stolas and Octavia comes up again.
- >Find out your daughter became a massive carpet-eating dye, cheating on her husband late into the marriage to f-k a bootleg fire toad.
- >Pain.exe
- -
- >Sit down for the first family dinner
- >F-k, this table's huge
- >You are set next to owl daughter, owl wife, and owl grandkid
- >Her bird husband is also there, seething so intensely its a wonder the tablecloth isn't on fire
- >She brought the fire toad to introduce her to you
- >Said toad is a vile-mouthed, overly aggressive, conniving btch with the closest thing to a positive being that she adopted a kid
- >She's also making 'f-k-me' eyes at you the whole night despite Paimon and Stola being right there
- >Truly, the annihilation that you were warned about could not be that much worse than suffering the awkwardness of this evening
- >And all the other evenings as well
- -
- >At this point, breaking the ice would be impossible, if not for Paimon's startling lack of ability to read the room.
- >She goes on and on about her royal functions and how nice it is to finally have a man in her life again.
- >Eventually asks, albeit out of feigned interest, how Fem!Stolas and Male!Stella are getting on.
- >This is enough to set old seething swan-dck off as he jams a knife into the table right next to your glass, rattling the whole thing.
- >Fem!Stolas urges him not to make a scene at a family gathering, but he goes off at her for bringing the toad and for the fact she's even in the picture in the first place.
- >Devolves into a full blown fight at the dinner table. Wine glasses are being flung and venemous insults exchanged.
- >Your granddaughter groans as she can't have a normal family, digging into her pockets to take out some earbuds.
- >Toad is laughing her ass off, but is a little embarrassed as she's partly responsible for this affair.
- >Paimom chuckles.
- >"I love reunions"
- >YFW during all of this.
- >YFW she wants to visit again for Octavia's 18th.
- -
- desu if it were me in that situation I'd probably dote on Octavia just to try to have a little bit of wholesome normalcy. Be the 'cool uncle' for her so she's not constantly stuck between the rest of her dysfunctional as hell family.
- -
- >Your daughter and her husband are off discussing divorce matters
- >That leaves you with Octavia for the day
- >Find her in her room, headphones on
- >Ask her what she’s listening to
- >Tells you you probably wouldn’t like it
- >She passes her headset to you and you put it on
- >It…
- >Sounds a lot like old Linkin Park
- >Figures, you listened to a lot of it when you were in her situation
- >You hand her headset back and tell her that
- >She scoffs, she doesn’t believe you
- >You tell her all the details you remembered from that time
- >The fear, worry, pain, and heartache
- >Her expression softens, and she starts to relax a little
- >When you finish, she leans over and hugs you with a “Thanks, grandpa.”
- >You don’t think you’ll ever get used to being called that, but right now it makes you smile
- >And now you have an idea of what to get her for her 18th birthday
- >Wonder what your daughter is up to right now though?
- ---
- >(You) being a good father-figure to three demonic girls (one who is a literal Princess)
- >(You) helping them through any issues they have
- >(You) getting love from your new, hellish family
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