guide to boys for girls

Let's say that there's this really cute guy with a great personality, but a.) you've never talked to him and b.) you are not in the same social circle. Don't get discouraged, because there is hope!

Let's cover some general approach tactics.

​

Step 1: The Introduction/Establishing Contact
The first thing to mention here is that most guys are actually pretty friendly and aren't going to shut you down immediately. What works for most guys is just striking up a conversation about something that you have in common. Use context clues here. Do they have heavy metal band stickers all over their binders? If yes, there's a good chance that they enjoy rock music. Start talking about rock music! What you've done here is established something that you both can relate to. This makes you seem less like a foreign entity than someone who they could routinely commune with about music. Other good places to look for clues are:

Keychains on backpacks
Phone cases
Clothing
If their shirts always say Nike on them then there is a good chance that they're into sports
If they wear team clothing for anything between sports to robotics to brain bowl, there's a good entrance for a conversation
Shoes
Phone lock and home screen
Don't be stalker-like just to try and get a glimpse of their screen
After you have identified some of their interests, approach them and start a conversation. Some good conversation starters are:

Hey, is that a insert band name sticker? Did you know that they have a new album coming out?
Nice sport team name shirt. Did you catch the game last night?
Nice shoes! Those are super cool! Where'd you get them?
Step 2: Becoming Friends / Acquaintances
If you have followed the first step above, there's a good chance that you now register on their radar of people that are cool and have similar interests. Time to take it a bit further!

The best approach with this step is probably related to social media. If you don't have social media, no problem! (There's other ways)

A good thing to do now is connect online. Do they have Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, etc? Let's connect!

Start by trying to catch them at a time where they have social media open. Are they looking at their phone and making facial expressions? There's a good chance that they are on Snapchat. Are they continuously scrolling and occasionally double tapping? They're probably on Instagram.

If the answer is yes to the above, time to ask to connect.

Here's a few good prompts that you can follow:

Is that Snapchat? What's your username / can I scan your snapcode?
Are you on Instagram? What's your username?
After completing the above, take a look at their profile.

Snapchat:

Do they have a large snapscore? (Over 100,000) If so, there's a good chance that they've either been on the platform for a long time or they are very active with a lot of streaks. This info is good to know. If they're active, that means that there are a lot of chances for you to have conversations. Did they post something interesting on their story? Slide up and comment on it. On the flip side, if their score is low, this can be a good sign too. This can signify that they are not addicted to the platform and will not ignore you if you snap them.

Instagram:

After either following them or having them approve your follow request, take a second to browse their profile.

How often do they post? If they post a lot this can mean that they genuinely like posting, or they are desperate for likes.

How many followers do they have? If they have a lot of followers, their account has probably been around for a long time or they know how to market their account.

What kind of content do they post? Posts can be very helpful as conversation starters. If they post a lot of outdoors posts, use this as a conversation starter like I discussed in step one. This is applied to all other types of posts like sports posts or traveling posts.

Another helpful thing that I will go into later is mutual friends. Press on the followers button and the top people that are listed are mutual friends. Take note as this can be useful in the future.

__________

After connecting, try to stay active with them. Comment on their posts and stories, and don't hesitate to strike up a conversation online through DM's or the message feature on most social networks. By doing this, you are sending a message to them that you genuinely like them and are interested in their life. If they get that message, the more likely that they are going to return the favor and become interested in your life too.

​

Step 3: You're there!
If you've followed the above, you should be becoming friends now. Some good signals that they are your friend are:

Waving/smiling in the halls when you pass
Longer and deeper conversations in person and online
Possibly even an invite to go do something social out of school like going to the mall or seeing a movie
If you can determine that you are friends now, the rest is basically up to you. Do you want to remain friends, or become romantically involved? The choice is yours. Below, I will give some general tips that might be useful to you.

​

General Tips/Advice
Please don't be bland in person or online. No one likes to send a message to only get back a response like "k" , "yea", "fine". This is honestly a turn off for most people. Where's your vivd personality, your ability to converse about anything, your sense of humor? Try to expand your online and texting vocabulary. Don't reply with one word. Instead, ask more questions about what they just said, tell them about something similar that happened to you. Be interesting!
Stop fishing for compliments. If a guy compliments your outfit or your hair, please don't say something like "eww no I look so ugly, stop lying to me." What this tells most people is that you have very low self esteem and the only way you feel good is to literally ask for compliments. If this describes you, just stop doing this. Learn to take a compliment. Say things like, "thank you!" or "this made my day." Even dare to compliment the other person too. For instance say stuff like "Nice shoes" or "Your glasses look really nice on you". This can go a long way with a guy. Trust me.
Learn the "Red flags". There are some red flags that you should be well aware of. Did they just ask for nudes? If so, do not respond at all. This is a signal of extreme immaturity and lack of respect. It is NEVER okay to ask for nudes, so if this happens, know that they have no respect whatsoever for your body and privacy. 1 time is 1 time too many. Another red flag is their prior, if any, relationships. Do some asking around. How long were their prior relationships? Does he only date the "easy" girls? What was the reason for the breakup? Who broke up, him or her? Learn to use the mutual friends that I discussed above to do some reconnaissance before becoming romantically involved. Let the mutual friends know that you are interested in a relationship and ask if there is anything that you should know. You'd be surprised at the amount of relevant information you can get.
Use Social Media and Mutual Friends. If you are interested in a relationship and they happen to do a lot of "anonymous compliments/sarahah/tbh", use it. It's an easy way to gauge their feelings for you based on what they write. Especially RDH's. (Rate 1/10, Date, Hate)
Cut to the point. Don't have the guy play the game of "struggling in the dark". If you like them, man up and tell them. All guys will appreciate that. It's much better for you to tell them that you like them than have them find out from someone else. (Rumors people!) Again, this also applies on the other end of the spectrum. If you are in a relationship and want to end it, don't struggle along just to make him happy, just sit him down and explain your reasons. It's much better for the both of you. Also, if you have a problem, just say it. Don't become distant and have them wondering why.
Face To Face. This is probably one of the most important tips I can give you. Don't decide to date over text. Have the guy ask you out in person, face to face. This shows that they are serious enough about the relationship. This is key, as a good relationship is built upon trust and commitment. Same with breaking up. If you are going to break up, don't do it over text. Do it in person, as it's much more official.