Q: What is this?
A: A journal sent by one of us that left the caves. I pick random entries from it sometimes and post them on twitter.
A: Haremhorns. Himehorns. Naked, horned girls with horns that act like ants. That would be the rude description. I'd be surprised if someone ended up here without knowing that, anyway.
Q What's a himehorn?
A: This: http://manga.clone-army.org/wiki.php?entry=horned_ones . In case you are lazy, just remember we LOVE cake.
Q: What's the journal about?
A: We hatch from eggs. Every now and then, one of us comes out defective. Three horns, four eyes, six noses; just picture a limb salad and there you have it. Sometimes they are noticeable, sometimes they are not. This journal is about one of our defectives, who we call Daydreamer, that left the caves on her own and ventured into the world above because her brain is all weird.
Q: Who is Daydreamer?
A: One of our haremhorns, the ones that clean the things, do the dishes, cook, and never talk. She has a thing for tales, stories, and bumping her head into anything. Dreamer wears a bandage over her forehead, is four feet tall, is very shy, and often sees things that aren't there. Also naive, forgetful, and extremely kind-hearted when she's not paranoid. Which is almost never. As of now, Dreamer is working at a bakery, wearing puffy clothes, glasses, and making tons of friends. She's the one that wrote and sent the journal, every single entry of it unless I'm bored.
Q: Where is she? Where does the journal take place?
A: Now I'm dead certain: Enna's Domain. Above the caves there's nothing but snow. Yet in all that white, somewhere, there's this city, protected by a Witch, that hosts all kinds of living things. Apparently, things went very bad up there when Templars, white-haired girls with guns and swords, decided they didn't like the way the goldenhairs, vampires that eat everything, dressed their salads. And now, the few survivors of that massacre are hiding under the almighty, sleeping Witch: Enna.
Q: What is a-
Also! Everything said outside the " " is me babbling about stuff cuz copy-pasting is boring.
CHARACTERS SO FAR:
Our "hero". I already described her above, but there's one little thing I forgot to say: she used to murder little defectives for the sake of the Herd. It's a shared job, but it seems doing that hurt her so badly that, instead of sharing the burden, she decided to take it all upon herself, to spare the other haremhorns. Which is insane and exactly the other way around of how it should have gone. And it's been like that for ages. Well, whatever. Long black hair, black eyes with golden irises, two white horns, round black glasses, winter clothes, and apparently extremely cute, which is kinda odd. Works under Magic at the bakery. Wimp.
Thought Dreamer was a little lost child and spent a whole afternoon trying to find her mother. Tall nohorn woman with black hair, always wearing a black sweater that covers her whole neck. Runs a pawn shop at the city, selling or trading strange stuff for more strange stuff that could explode at any minute. Very energetic. Heavy mood swings. Apparently, she's like thirty. Childish as hell. Never focuses on anything for too long. Once went without sleep for a whole week and tried to offer herself to Enna. Rain's boss.
Former Templar, obvious as hell. Met Dreamer at a bar: has been bullying her ever since. Fake yellow hair with white points, two bangs fall from the sides of her face, wears sporty clothes all the time and grins too much. Blackmails people for fun, messes with everyone's stuff, bad with people crying. Tried to sell Dreamer once.
Works at the bakery under Magic. Thinks everyone needs her help. Short, red hair, freckles, big glasses, wears a white duster everywhere. Gets mad at Magic at least five times a day but won't leave him alone for everyone's sake.
Old nohorn guy. Very tall, white hair, glasses too. Small beard, looks professional. Sings a lot. Hums when not singing. Will start break-dancing out of nowhere. Will try to carve images of himself with far too many muscles in walls. Will take his shirt off. Weird sense of taste. Owner of the bakery.
A shy wronghorn that stalked Dreamer in order to draw her. She was found out later working at a bar, and Dreamer got so mad at her she managed to talk. In fact, the Wronghorn is the only one Dreamer ever talks to. Small black horns, dresses like an actual nohorn, wears a big black scarf, is easy to scare. A defective left at a cave's entrance that was saved and raised by nohorns. We aren't exactly sure what she is.
Magical Girl with heavy self-esteem issues. Was the one that got Dreamer out of the caves and into the bakery. Sometimes spawns out of nowhere to visit her. Helps Leader and our Herd at the caves. And more. A /lot/ more: @HeatherCrunch
A homeless nohorn that helped Dreamer get back home. Was holding a "THE END IS NEAR" poster. Just wanted people to enjoy the day to the fullest. His teeth are messed up, his clothes are rags, and he never stops talking.
Red-yellow schemed little nohorn wearing a massive red scarf and a yellow hoodie all the time. Hugs people. Dancing with people. Happys with people. Recently kissed Dreamer on accident and now avoids her. Has been spotted bench-pressing twice his weight at the gym.
The only other himehorn exile besides Dreamer. Hornmother. Serene and focused at work, a walking mess at home. Her job is firing people. Usually wears a suit with a tie. Apparently, she feels so lonely she asks Dreamer to live with her not a whole day after meeting her for the first time. Likes telling people what they did wrong.
Enna: The sleeping Great Witch that guards the domain. Some say she's awake, other's that she doesn't exist. Whatever the case, her crow-daughter still spend her days playing videogames and eating trash, so they must have come from somewhere.
Southern Witch Apostle: The himehorn's savior. She upholds the Pact that prevents Templars for raiding our caves and turning all of us into scrambled eggs with horns.
Algis: The Templar's Witch. Wants all of us DEAD. Wants EVERYONE dead, except her white little dandelions.
Leader: If you wonder why she keeps talking about her, it's because Dreamer has always been in love with Leader. We really like Leader, sure, but Dreamer's things in her borders in obsession or some crazy stuff like that. Calm down, Dreamer. Seriously.
Lazyhorns: Dreamer's best friend and the one that copy-pastes from the journal into the timeline. Yup: that's me.
Loveball: A little haremhorn that always feels cold, so we wrap her up in blankets. Dreamer's kindness without the absurd levels of paranoia. The name says it all. Dreamer killed her once because we couldn't stop the cold, so Dan brought her back to life. Grimdark as hell but, to me, it was Tuesday.
Dan: Your doughters are full of frosting.
-Magic got a weird statue into the shop. Dreamer is dead sure that the thing is alive.
-Dreamer met a mysterious guy with a big hat. She had a bad feeling about him.
-Horns Inc wants Dreamer to move in with her. Dreamer is hesitating.
-There's something called the 'Secret Shop' and Shopkeeper is really looking forward to it.
"Don't be a jerk and give this to Leader."
It's like she knew!
"I'm talking to you, lazyhorns."
So she did. And look at the size of this; it's like Dreamer sent her own whole Record. Why, oh, why didn't she just use a witch device instead? We'll never know.
First thing she does is ask how everyone is doing, second is fawn over Leader for at least a whole damn page. Ok, finally:
"The bakery is a lot like the ones I've seen on the witch device. Cruncherone didn't stay for long, just enough to show me around."
There's a lot more.
"The nohorns are nice to me, but I'm not nice to them. There's tall old nohorn with glasses and small bubbly nohorn with freckles. She's taller than me, though. I know a lot about baking thanks to the cakeist and the witch device, but only my horns pop from over the desk."
"Clothes are so annoying! I'm still not used, and I move all funny, but Cruncherone said I can't be without them. Anyway, it's cold here and white all over, so if I don't wear them my throat starts hurting."
"I got GLASSES!"
So many lines spawning from that word. Why.
So she just sent her whole journal? But what's the point? We got like two, three? witch devices here?
"I don't need the glasses but I like how they look. Freckles always seems happy for me no matter what I do. She's creepy."
"I'm in a big building of rooms over rooms over rooms, and there's one for me. Being outside is scary because there's no ceiling, just a big yolk and blue, but I'll get used to it. The yolk is hiding now."
"Cruncherone and I had a party. I'm used to her so it's nice, but I still wonder if the hornmothers are eating well or if the torches are lit. She told me not to worry about it, that I can relax now and do what I want. I wish I was as excited as she was.
We had a lot of cake!!!"
"I'm not used to sleeping alone at all, so I asked her to stay this time at least. Beds are really nice, it's like they suck you in."
There's a note:
"She snores. Cruncherone snores really hard; as if she was mad at something, or threatening something to stay away. Can't sleep."
"There. I sealed the Cruncherone's mouth with a big carrot. She didn't wake up. I'm really tired. That's it for today."
"I woke up on the floor. It's still dark like in the caves. At least there's no snoring."
"Cruncherone fell over me. She still sleeps. I don't."
"I'm at the bakery right now taking a break. Freckles says I'm a really hard worker and that her nohornmother (the "dad") is glad. I feel a bit slow, but what they ask me to do is really easy and sometimes I have nothing to do so I grab the broom. Cruncherone left this morning."
"I got a new Witch Device! There are so MANY of those in here! But this one is different. I can't talk to Leader or ask the Greatest Cakewitch for help with this one. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I miss the Herd."
There's a drawing of Leader napping.
"Today one of the nohorns told me I'm really cute when I climbed my mini-ladder to greet it. It ruffled my hair. It was so scary!"
"I never ever talk, so I have to point at things or gesture. White with glasses nohorns says that's nice because I never argue. I tried to, but Freckles was looking at me so hard I ended up writing in my little notebook."
"Somebody pinched my cheek."
Aw screw this, 14:
There's some more, but it's more of the same. Bakery, nohorns, someone jumps into a "trashcan". Ah!
"Today was my first day off, so I finally got to see how nohorns live! I want to learn something that can help Leader and the Herd."
"This place is SO weird, there are SO SO many different types of nohorns! And wronghorns! And DOUBLE wronghorns with scarfs! And it's so cold and dry so I'm wearing a scarf too."
"I just realized I'm not going to learn much if I don't ask. Time for the notebook!"
Was Dreamer, like, writing the Records while walking? Was that it?
"Today I've hit a wall with my forehead. There's so much to be afraid of that I hardly ever look in front of me.
But it's pretty."
"There's a big thing with eight legs, each twice as big as me, just walking around like everyone else. It never steps no anyone. Kind of like the witch device, somehow.
Nohorns are weird."
There's a drawing of the big odd thing. There's a happy smallhorn riding its head.
"Nohorns keep walking past me when I close in with the notebook."
"I got earmuffs! I don't really need them since I listen with my horns, but they feel very nice."
Haha, just kidding, that was me.
"My feet feel cold. My claws are breaking through."
"Someone finally talked to me! It was a tall nohorn with long black hair asking if I was lost and where's my hornmother. I pointed at the caves so it took my hand and walked there. We just kept walking for a while; the caves are very far after all."
"I'm writing this right in front of her. This is a bar. My feet don't reach the floor. There's warm food and the haremnohorns bring it to your table. She's still asking me things. I tried to talk, but It's really embarrassing. The food is tasty! I could cook this to Leader."
"I had to draw the hornmothers in the caves and show her my journal. Her eyes went big as a dish when another nohorn told her I was a haremhorn. Is it really that strange? It's scary. The other nohorn looks like she's about to punch me while smiling, but talks all nice. Help?"
"They keep asking me things, but I keep writing my Record."
"Mean! Goldenhair-mean-looking nohorn took my Record, and she's so tall my jumps barely reached her shoulder. They asked me why I was here but I didn't know what to say, so I just cried in silence. That scared them."
"I got A LOT of hugs. Both of them drew something in my journal. Maybe I made friends?"
Below there are two drawings. One is a cute nohorn with black long hair saying "Do your best!"... and the other is Algis winking.
"Black hair nohorn gave me a tour and then walked me home. It kept pointing at things and calling them names. There were a lot of things, so I don't remember any names. Nohorns are really complicated!"
"I made a friend! Maybe I'm good at this, I didn't even have to talk. Nohorns have been mostly nice so far, but maybe they are waiting to bully me when I don't see it coming. I'll call black hair nohorn 'Shopkeeper' from now on because she has a shop and keeps it clean."
"I miss the Herd! I miss Leader! I miss my smallhorns! I EVEN miss the lazyhorns!"
Below is a picture of Dreamer crying waterfalls, on her knees. She's still wearing the earmuffs, and the waterfalls freeze near the floor.
"Shopkeeper is having tea in my home. The yolk is almost hiding so its all dark orange outside the window."
"It seems this had never happened before. Sometimes some mean bad nohorns take himehorns from the caves to start secret farms, but I came here on my own."
"That's why Shopkeeper is so worried. But, she shouldn't worry. Leader really likes nohorns, so I'm here to learn all about them and make the best cakes!"
"Of course, that can only be because I'm a super defective, and maybe I left the caves because I was afraid of ending up losing control of me."
"So it's just me doing my job of taking out the defectives. I may be gloomy because Shopkeeper gave me another big hug and I didn't even notice."
"I'm still afraid of nohorns touching me, but I think it might be a bit too late for telling her."
There's a note.
"Shopkeeper is creepy too."
"Sleeping alone is so scary I think I might be missing Cruncherone. I hope I can sleep faster than my head can think of templars and nohorns bullies."
"Today I had a boiled egg and melted cheese in bread for breakfast, with orange juice."
I'm not exactly sure why I bothered with that one.
"I have another free day, so it's nohorn field trip time!"
"I still can't get out of bed. It's like my bed is a hornmother and I can't stop hugging it."
"It's cold and very dry outside and also there's no yolk, only gray. Nohorns hide their heads under big flowers that open backwards. I was wondering why until something pokes me in the nose. Over and over."
"A flower gets over my head and it's bullynohorn holding it. She pushes me into her and I hear a million tiny booms around me. Everyone is taking cover."
"I grab my notebook to talk buy it gets all wet and I can't write. Goldenbullynohorn laughs and says this is rain. The air smells fresh and the floor turns into a boiling pot.
So this is rain."
"I really, really wish I could show this to Leader."
"We ended up in the bar again but I kept staring through the window. I decided to call goldenbullyhorn "Rain" because she made me cry."
"Shopkeeper was busy and wasn't coming. Rain likes to tease me a lot. She took my dish with food and balanced it over her head while eating hers."
"People always look but Rain doesn't care. I stole some of her food in revenge and looked at her dead in the eye while snacking. I can't be sure, but she seems to like that?"
"But when she took my cake and was about to snack, I lost it. I stood and shouted: NO BULLY!"
"Actually I just managed to mumble it out loud, but Rain seemed happy and gave me back the cake."
"Rain laughed and said 'I knew you could talk! And then punched the table so hard I swallowed. Then she left saying something about a bet, so I guess Rain is a bullynohornmother."
"It was still raining outside and I was alone, so I decided to draw Rain playing cards with a Leader and losing. Nohorns would come to look and talk, but I was still scared so I froze in place until they left."
"One came and simply sat in front of me. It had horns, so it wasn't a nohorn. But it smelled really weird so that was surely a wronghorn."
"It asked if the seat was taken but I ignored it, and just kept on drawing. She looked a lot like lazyhorns, but way taller and with spikier horns. I was so into it for a while, I didn't realize she was drawing too."
"I ignored her and tried to make Leader's eyes look the same. Rain's were a mess but that was the point. It got a bit boring, so I took a peek at the wronghorn's page. It was me. She was drawing me. I was so scared I left my page and ran away."
"The rain was like having a million smallhorns throwing wet rocks at me. I hid in a shop, but the shopkeeper there had a big mouth and was so big and furry I ended up running away again."
"When I got home I decided that learning nohorns should be done without hurry. If you swallow too much at once you end up choking.
This world is too big for me. I'll have one tiny piece at a time."
"Freckles was really excited and she took me to the back alley where we throw the trash. Then she dived into it. She came out all dirty but happy, holding a tiny golden cat over her arms. It did look pretty tasty."
"I decided I don't want to be cute anymore, because if I'm cute the nohorns touch me and that's scary. I got those squared glasses with tiny ropes coming from the sides, and practiced my mean face and pouts on the mirror for an hour straight."
"It backfired. My plan backfired."
There's a lot of stuff in here so I'll just pick the funny parts.
"Rain stole my journal again and now she knows she's Rain. I have a nickname now: Pillow. I'm Daydreamer and Pillow now.
This is bad news."
"I went shopping at Shopkeeper's shop. There are so many things! She says people come and give her all sorts of things. Her shift starts when mine ends, so I got to spend the whole day looking at things and having tea with her. Rain came too and tried to sell me."
"They actually spent a while talking about me and how much my horns were worth. Then Shopkeeper asked what my horns were for. I have never thought about it, but now I'm pretty sure they are for stabbing Rain in the butt."
"Nohorns are really weird with things. I used to feed the musclehorns because they did a lot of work, but here I can't feed the musclenohorns unless they give me papers first. Musclenohorns are scary, but if you don't feed your musclehorns no one kills the tree worms."
"Today is nohorn research day so I went wandering around after noherdwork. I wonder how big this herd is and where the smallnohorns play."
"I remember this time I was a smallharemhorn and got lost in the caves. I walked and walked for hours until every branching seemed familiar, and by going for the ones I didn't remember I managed to get back to the kitchen on my own.
I'm still waiting for that to happen."
"Nothing ever repeats here. Not even the nohorns look like the nohorns, and I feel like I step into a completely different world every time my boots touch the ground. They are all white and cold, though."
"That's when I spaced out, and something really really weird happened. It was as if I was remembering something. I was in another white place but this one was a desert, and I was walking to someone with a big hat."
"I got startled by a yelling nohorn with hair over its chin and a black woolen hat. It seemed old and held a plank over its head that said the end was coming. It saw me looking. Oldhorn walked up to me and said to enjoy today to the fullest because the end is near. I just wept."
"I don't know why, but I cry very easily lately. Oldhorn rushed back and came back with a steaming glass of hot water. It had a good taste, but I was still crying so it went back and fed me some food from a can with a spoon. It was tasty too."
"Oldhorn smells bad. The teeth it doesn't miss are yellow and gritty, but its breath smells nice. It asked me if I was lost so I nodded, and when it asked where my home was I had to draw it. It looked at it, grabbed my hand, and said we were going on an adventure."
"Oldhorn asked where my mom was, but my hornmothers are in the caves and the caves are very far away. I asked where his hornmother was and it said she was always with him."
"We walked past a big white building, I tugged its sleeve and pointed at it. A bank. That's the name of it. Oldhorn says nohorns don't trust that the rest is doing a good job, so the bills serve as proof that they did something useful for their Herd. I still don't really get it."
"There was an odd place, that seemed older than everything around it. We were already walking to it. Oldhorn said this is where the Witch Enna rests and that I should leave an offering for her at least once a week. It kneeled and left a can filled with beans under the statue."
"People walk away when they see Oldhorn coming. That's kinda nice actually, but I'm pretty sure it's because of its smell. Maybe dealing with all those sweaty musclehorns did ruin my nose in the end."
"Some smallnohorns were flinging snowballs at each other, and one of those somehow ended up in my face. It wasn't really that bad but I was crying anyway, so they came to me asking if I was okay. One of them laughed and called me a wimp."
The cakewitch did a drawing: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DPmySr7UQAAHEwc.jpg
"My face was red and scratchy and the yolk was hiding from us; it was all getting orange. Oldhorn pointed at a yellow building and told me that, if I ever get lost, they would get me back home if I could pay. I couldn't pay. Oldhorn gave me some bills and told me to go on ahead."
"At that place, a weird looking nohorn with glasses as square as mine was turning my drawing left and right, frowning its red eyes. It passed it to some of the other nohorns. I had to add some quick details, but it worked because one raised a hand and said it knew the place."
"The thing had four wheels and a roof of black velvet, like that thing Cruncherone likes to wear. It was so comfortable, and I was so tired that I fell asleep. When I came back to it I was being shaken by the shoulders, but that was home and I was back and that was nice."
"I'm in bed hugging my pillow. I can't sleep."
"I think I fell asleep because, just now, I was walking on the white desert again. I saw the hat again. It was a little bit closer."
"Today I screamed really funny because Rain managed to sneak behind the desk at the bakery to bite me in the neck. That wasn't funny!"
"I'm spending a lot of time at Shopkeeper's shop lately. There are many funny looking things there. Sometimes she takes them down to show me what they do."
"Shopkeeper seems to really like surprising me, and I like the things she shows me so it's always fun."
"I want one of those things that turns fruits into juice."
"Rain always comes after me, but I never see her coming. Not until its too late."
"This one time Shopkeeper vanished into the back of her shop, and I tried talking to Rain just like she does. She had to kneel to listen to me talk, and that made it even harder."
"But when I saw Shopkeeper looming right behind her like a tree worm I tried my very very best to warn her. Or maybe a little best. A tiny little best."
"Today is my free day again!"
"I actually want to stay in the bakery making dough, but then why would I have come here?"
"Oldhorn said there's a Witch here that looks after the Herd and keeps the goldenhairs away. I made a spare cake but I tripped and buried my face in it, so now I got nothing to give her."
"I know where I live now so I'm not going to get lost. I didn't forget the bills, or left the door open."
"I keep liking my glasses. I'm getting funny looks but I can't stop."
"What should I give the Witch? What could a Witch want that isn't cake? What does a Witch even need? Maybe Oldhorn knows, but I can't find it."
"I spent some time watching what the nohorns offered, but they gave all kinds of things and no one gave the same. A little nohorn with a tail even left a tiny snowman."
"And why would the Witch want anything we could give her? She's a Witch, and Witches can do anything. At least I know Algis would be happy If I jumped into a river."
"Someone left a drawing under the altar and that drawing was really pretty... but it was me. I locked eyes with wronghorn and blinked, she was about to say something but I ran away."
"I bumped into someone in the back of the temple and fell on my butt. At first, I thought it was a big walking black blanket, but a nohorn head with pretty white hair popped from the top like a cherry."
"She was arms-deep into a black bag full of trash. She looked so serious I swallowed, but then blanket nohorn said: 'Child, this never happened', so I nodded and ran away."
"Back there, now that I think of it, I couldn't smell her over the trash."
"I'm back home empty-handed, but today is free day too so its ok. And being alone for a while isn't that bad either."
"Tall nohorn is old and its hair is all white. Today tall nohorn was doing the papers like always when it started shaking its shoulders at a pace that then became a dance."
"He threw all the papers to the roof and spun all fast while they fell, then stomped one of them and then the other until it was doing this extreme dance."
"Freckles was yelling from the other room, but old glasses nohorn was spinning its legs under its arms so fast I couldn't see them like it was angry. I couldn't breathe."
"Freckles was talking all angry, but the old nohorn just kept dancing, and dancing. It left the room doing backflips while she talked, shouting 'ONLY THE GROOVE IS THE BOSS OF ME'"
"Nohorns are weird.
If the 'nohorn go home' dance was anything like that, they would want to stay."
"Shopkeeper had me try a lot of costumes she got from her customers. Said it was for 'business reasons'. There were a lot, and she even had a hornmother's robe hidden in between."
"Shopkeeper got all silly and weird when I trie the white one they use for science. It was too big for me and my hands didn't reach the sleeves, but she said I looked so cute she could eat me. She had to say it was a joke."
"Sometimes I can't sleep so I just stay in bed thinking things and playing with the new witch device. So far the most important thing I've learned from nohorns is that being cute is really, really important."
"I think that's why everyone has been so nice to me because I don't think they would have if I was a ten legs tree worm with eyes in its mouth."
Below is drawn, yup, you guessed right.
Rant goes on.
"I don't want to be cute because then nohorns touch me and it's scary, but what if I wasn't? What if our smallhorns had squids for heads? I already know what would happen then."
"Maybe I should try to be cute then? But what when they get bored of it? What will I do when they see me for me?"
"Rain said that if I ate the Shopkeeper I'd die before finishing her boobs... so that's how they see us here.
It seems 'cute' is all I have for now."
"Today glasses horn was making himself out of bread, but with the muscles of ten musclehorns. When he left, Freckles chopped the head off and made me sandwiches. It seems our bakery isn't doing well..."
"I'm staying to work a second shift today. I drew some ingredients for Freckles to go and buy me because I want to make those crunchy chocolate cakes I learned from the cakeist."
"I don't need more coins: they do. Besides being weird, Freckles and Magic, the old nohorn, have done anything mean. And that's good enough. I want to stay with them so I'm doing my best."
"We worked a whole lot making tiny cakes and little critters out of chocolate... and it was really, really fun. I even forgot that heavy feeling for a while. It got so late, I had to stay here to sleep."
"Freckles is always scolding Magic, but every time it's over it's like it never happened. Magic has these very random spikes where he does magical things that are hard to explain, and he always makes a mess Freckles ends up cleaning."
"They really get along. It reminds me of me and Lazyhorns and makes me sulky. I really miss her."
Aw, what the hell...?.
"We are doing a 'reinauguration' I think, they want to change the name of the bakery and add things outside. They ask me to draw things to see how they'd look... but why horns on the roof?"
"I hope it goes well and nohorns like it so I can stay and be safe. Freckles said I work a lot for being so small, but it's just how I used to back in the caves with Leader. I can work this hard because I love her with all I got."
"After we closed for the day, I took Magic and Freckles to Shopkeeper's shop to look for pretty decorations. She and Freckles spent more time talking about me than actually looking for things, but Magic found something strange."
"We all stared at it in silence; even Rain was there. A stone statue, almost looking like a nohorn, taller even than Magic. The face was blurred by the rocks, but the helmet almost came out, and the body had weird armor scattered all over."
"Shopkeeper said it arrived this morning, and that it was traded for an electric guitar. It was facing me with no eyes or mouth, only stone, under the helmet. I his behind Freckles, shaking. Magic shouted: 'I WANT IT.'"
"The bakery is looking neat. It doesn't seem 'cute'; the waxed wood floor and furniture are tidy and simple. But it feels like whoever works here takes its cakes very seriously, and that puts me at ease."
"The menu has been carved in stone, there's a big plate near the entrance for free samples, a ticket dispenser that gives turns, and a big window between back and front that lets you see how we work."
"And then there's that statue. Freckles got tired of complaining, but then Shopkeeper said it fitted and now Magic thinks that's true. Her eyes gleamed and she giggled a lot to herself. I wonder how many coins she got from it."
"What's worst is that it's strapped above behind the desk. So, whenever someone comes for cake, the statue will be staring straight into their soul with its no eyes.
And someday, it will come down from there to bully me. I'm so sure of it, I know I'm being silly."
"The new chimney isn't working, so I took a break to Shopkeeper's shop while it's being fixed. I hesitated, but asked Shopkeeper why cute things are so important... and she got really serious! 'Cute things are proof that it's worth living! I pay my rent only to see the next one!"
"I was going to ask why, but Shopkeeper got so into it I lost my chance. 'So fluffy, so small, so helpless... so moe.' She nodded to herself; I just wasn't there. Before I noticed, Rain was next to me hearing her talk to the air about bunnies and cats, a sword over the desk."
"It was so familiar, but it took me a while to figure out why. I did. The sheat was almost the same; a templar's blade. They use those to bully hard. I swallowed and tugged Rain's yellow sleeve. Then she said 'Never thought I'd get one those again,' and my jaw dropped."
"Rain traded the sword for a witch device with sticks and a long metal pole with some round weights. She was happy about it, but Shopkeeper was shaking with a grin. I'm not sure if that was a fair trade, but I don't think Rain cares much about what's fair. She pinched my cheek."
"We went for a walk because she had something to show me. Even though her hair is golden, the spiky points of it were white as snow; I was feeling a big fat drop of sweat falling next to my eye. Rain went into a dark alley, I just stood on the main street. Then, I ran away."
"I was so nervous that I got lost again. Shopkeeper said the yolk stays in the sky for three months, and I was so grateful for that back then... I was even grateful it let me see Rain in full when I bumped into her after a corner."
Didn't she say before "the yolk was hiding?`"
Wasn't the yolk the sun? Am I missing anything here?
"I wasn't afraid when I saw her, though I definitively was shaking. Rain took a big step, then another, then another until I couldn't cower anymore. It was another not so dark alley; the few beams of light were falling on her."
I get it! It was hiding behind the clouds!
"Then Rain sighed and sat next to me. 'It doesn't matter anymore'. That's all she said. I drew Algis doing a smug face as fast as I could and showed it to her. She took the page, crumpled it, threw it into a trashcan, and it spun on the lid like ten times before falling out."
"We were back at the first dark alley, but this time I went in with her. There it was. A bit in, at the left side hidden behind a corner, there's a wall with a lot of carrots and balls with horns drawn all over it. It was dusty. It was dirty.
I wasn't the first one here."
"Today I thought I was waking up in the caves. I wasn't. I felt sad and moody, so I closed my eyes, used my imagination, and pretended the sheets were a cave and my fingers smallhorns. Nothing lasts forever, and thinking otherwise was my huge mistake.
I won't be sad forever."
"Today is nohorn AND himehorn exploration day! The grand reinauguration of the bakery is due a week from today, so I'm really not busy until then at all. In the meantime, I'm talking to anyone with horns!"
"I can't talk to the anyone with horns. Or without. Too shy."
"Lots of things have horns here, but I can't imagine any of those coming from an egg. A wronghorn came to me because I kept looking at it while thinking what to say, so I pretended to be looking past it. Behind it was only a trash can. The wronghorn asked me if I liked it. I ran."
"I found one my size so I got excited, and a bit scared. It was sitting on a bench with someone else. It took me a while to push myself to it. When I did, it stood. It was twice my size. I switched directions instantly as it turned to me, and walked straight into a lamp post."
"I was sweating too much under the clothes so I got into a bar because I was also kinda thirsty. It was almost deserted, I get to the counter, sketch a glass with water, and look up straight into wronghorn-creep-drawer's black eyes, under a funny, green hat."
"I was a little bit tired of being scared and running, so I got imagined it was a musclehorn and looked straight into her eyes. Maybe I looked a bit too much. It got all red and tried to mutter something, over and over, with its eyes fixed on the desk."
"It was working, so I showed her my sketch. I don't remember drawing raspberry cake or croissants, though, but she shoved all of that on me, carefully, and rushed away. She had to come back at once because another customer came, though I just took my food with me."
"Looking at her from time to time while having cake is a good time. Wronghorn always looks away or fumbles something with her hands whenever I do. When I came back for more water she gave me wine instead. She froze, tried to get it back in the bottle, and slipped it all over."
"She seemed so worried I helped her clean it from the desk, but wronghorn shoved me away repeating "Don't worry, don't worry!" I didn't say a word, but a big nohorn wearing a big green hat spelling "BOSS" was looming behind her. In the end, she had to take a break."
"While the BOSS was with the clients, I was sharing a croissant with wronghorn next to a window. She was gasping a lot, drawing with her fingers on the table. If I had warned her about the BOSS behind her she wouldn't be so gloomy, so I took a deep breath and decided to talk."
"I wasn't used to talk. My voice went up and down all the time, and I didn't know how much was too much and when it was like a whisper. But I talked to her, and talked, and talked. It was the first time, and it wasn't hard. I just wasn't scared with that wronghorn."
"I may have seemed serious because she was on edge and apologized a lot. I wasn't serious. I was just trying to talk well. Wronghorn says she's sorry about not asking to draw me. She has these powerful impulses that drag her into doing all sort of things, and she cant help it."
"She didn't draw on that wall but she IS like me! She's a defective that was stolen from the entrance of a cave and raised here. The wronghorn smells weird but so does everyone else here, so that's that and I think she's kinda nice."
"In the end, I couldn't find her. It wasn't wronghorn because she doesn't even know about herd symbols, so it had to be someone else. I need to find her. I need to know how she managed to not miss the herd so much.
Maybe tomorrow I will."
“Today, I realized that I really wanted to go back to the Herd, with my smallhorns, and Leader. Maybe even Lazyhorns.”
“I was cleaning debris at the bakery’s entrance. Someone came in wearing a cardboard mask identical to Magic’s face, glasses and all. It took it off: it was Magic himself.
We have a whole cart of those now.”
“Later at Shopkeeper’s shop, I was jumping as high as I could to take my journal from Rain’s hands. She was reading it. Her face would change sometimes, she would frown or her eyes would lit. Shopkeeper got to read it too. Now they call each other ‘Rain’ and ‘Shopkeeper’. “
“I realize it just now, but back then Rain said ‘shh, here comes her first word!’ before I said anything. She always takes my things without asking, so took a deep breath, grabbed my horns, and said: ‘GO HOME NOHORN! GO HOME NOHORN’ while dancing.”
“Lately I’ve been talking a lot with Drawhorns because she’s even shyer than me and because she asks me a lot about the Herd, but I didn’t want to talk to those two. I can’t explain it. Rain was laughing. Shopkeeper was ‘awwww’ing as usual.”
“Rain wasn’t going home so I gave up. I tried to push me a little and asked how they met since they are so different because Shopkeeper is a nice while Rain is a MEAN NOHORN BULLY (I did say that).”
“They got so excited; like they really really wanted to tell me. Sometimes they would talk over each other, or stop to argue details, or laugh, or remember things, or simply just argue loudly.”
“Shopkeeper used to be mad at Rain because she would spy on people and blackmail them for food and things. She knew everyone’s secrets. They paid Rain to keep her quiet.”
“One day, Rain found out something about a friend of Shopkeeper, who got angry and argued with Rain. That friend, later, drew something on Shopkeeper’s forehead while she slept to keep Rain quiet, so she had to ran the shop all day wearing a horse mask.”
“Then Rain found something she liked in the shop, an armor with a cross on the chest. Rain said she was sorry and acted all nice and cute, and Shopkeeper was nice too, and they talked nice. Then Rain asked for that armor. Shopkeeper laughed; she said, “NO”.”
“Rain tried and tried and got a lot of things to trade, and she got mad and mad the more Shopkeeper said “NO”. Shopkeeper told me she didn’t know how much the thing was worth back then; she just wanted Rain to not have it.”
“Nothing Rain tried worked, not even trying to scare her. Once, she even got into the shop while it was closed to steal the thing, but Shopkeeper was there, fully awake. Rain asked ‘how?’. Shopkeeper said ‘insomnia’. And laughed.”
“At that time, Rain didn’t like to work at all, so she had a plan. She asked or blackmailed people for loans, then paid her debts with another loan from someone else. That way she never had to work, but the debt kept getting bigger.”
“She also had other people paying her to stay quiet over their secrets. But Rain got bored so fast that she kept on buying things, and it was never enough. Shopkeeper says her apartment is worst than her shop.”
“Finally, the people of the loans caught up. And it was heavy, mean people. Rain found out they wanted to enslave her into dressing like a banana and dancing on the cold streets for the next fifty years. She got scared. Very scared."
“So, in order to not work, she spied on Shopkeeper with a witch device from a trashcan, then pointed it at her while Shopkeeper was on her break.”
“It looks a bit fuzzy, but, in Rain’s witch device, Shopkeeper was dressed like a ‘magical girl’ much like GCW’s apostle. She pointed at things with a star-ended stick while doing sounds her mouth. Then she fell on the ground and did weird sounds as if something was eating her.”
“She was even begging for someone to save her, over and over while moving all strange. Nohorns are weird. I’m very very sure it isn’t a lie because I saw the video with them while Shopkeeper was curling into a corner and covering her ears. Rain chased her with it for a while.”
“Back then, Rain had blackmailed Shopkeeper, giving her a day before spreading the video. The next day, though, she found her running the shop as usual, while dressed like a magical girl and pointing at customers with the little stick. Smiling.”
“And that’s when Rain breaks. She got desperate and told Shopkeeper everything, from the loans to the people waiting for her outside. The armor protects from the cold, and she planned to escape the domain with it. It had been blessed by Algis.”
“And that’s when Rain breaks. She got desperate and told Shopkeeper everything, from the loans to the people waiting for her outside. The armor protects from the cold, and she planned to escape the domain with it. It had been blessed by Algis.”
“Templars are really strong, but when I asked why Rain didn’t just take it she said that Shopkeeper could rip her head off with a boob-slap. Maybe she just didn’t want to be mean?”
“Finally, Shopkeeper said “NO” again… but she told Rain that, if she worked for her, they wouldn’t be able to lift a finger on her. Rain refused. Shopkeeper pointed outside, at the twenty-five shirtless black men with tattoos waiting for her in the cold. Rain agreed.”
“Rain said that she thinks every day about how Shopkeeper confronted all the big people after her while dressed like a magical girl, talking very seriously about contracts and things, while the wind froze her legs. She had never heard so many people giggle at once in her life.”
“They got to an agreement. Rain would work her debt off under Shopkeeper, and all of them would know if she ever skipped a day. They shook hands, made a contract, and even drew Rain looking very concerned over the seal, in red.”
“Once the story was over, I couldn’t help but ask them ‘why’. I should have figured it out; Shopkeeper wanted Rain in for the same reason she was mad at her: because Rain is great at scamming people.”
"And Rain stood, in the end, because even if she managed to get away there was nothing waiting for her out there. It really got me thinking. Even though she has no choice but to stay here working half a day every day, she does seem happy. A happy bully; a mean happy bully."
"So, in the end, I think I'll try to stay here for a while longer. I'm sure Rain had a reason for coming here. I had one, too.
I still miss the herd, though.
Leader, if you ever read this: I love you. I’d work a whole week just to hug you once.”
"I was walking down the streets when a tiny nohorn grabbed by the waist and danced with me. It ran away giggling before I realized what was going on. All I remember is yellow and red."
"It happened again. I saw it coming and tried to force my words out, but I was already dancing and spinning. It all happened with my eyes closed, but somehow I feel dizzier than last time.
"This time I took the side alleys instead of the main street when I was heading to the bakery. We still are fixing things up, but it's starting to look quite serious even though that statue is still there.
Tiny red and yellow nohorn found me anyway."
"Today Rain scratched her tight with one of my horns. I'm still mad I missed my chance."
"Today Cruncherone came to visit with strawberry pie and little tiny yellow fruits that tasted sweet. She was on fire."
"Today someone asked me on the streets how it would feel to be a cloud. I was weirded at first, but now I'm really giving it some thought."
"Today yellow and red nohorn tried to gank me while Cruncher was walking me down the street. They both ended up talking. I think they know each other. The Cruncherone wouldn't just scold a stranger like that. He laughed it off. It's a little nohorn boy."
"I was having tea as usual at Shopkeeper's, listening to what she has to say. Shopkeeper talks a lot, but she talks funny things so I like it. I really get lost in her words sometimes, it's like a warm wind dragging me away."
"Today Freckles was grumpy because we couldn't sell all the chocolate critters without the bakery. We ended up setting a little tenth at the side of the main street. We sold a bunch, it was nice!"
Magic is really really focused trying to touch the tip of his nose with his tongue. One hour now. Two hours now."
"I can't touch the tip of my nose with my tongue."
"I can't touch the tip of my nose with my tongue."
"Today Shopkeeper was moody because she's getting old and she doesn't like it. Shopkeeper really thinks out loud. Nohorns live for three hornmothers and she's just passing her first hornmother. Haremhorns live half of what hornmothers. I'm way older than her, then."
"The statue moved. I'm absolutely, completely, positively sure it moved. That thing, whatever it is, is alive. It wants to eat my the topping of my cupcakes. It wants to bully."
"Today the crowd was heavy so Rain walked me down the street holding my hand so I didn't get lost. There were so many nohorns in a hurry that I had to climb on her back. I didn't stab bite her neck only because I would be going down with her!"
"Today Magic was standing perfectly still over his head, looking at me. I closed the door. Behind it, I heard he say: 'Suffer well'."
"Today I found blanket nohorn around the temple again, smashing something into the trashcan she was scavenging last time. She locked eyes with me and said 'This crap is exactly like gambling' and left."
"I never talk. When I do talk to the wronghorn about Rain, though, I'm almost yelling. She said she used to get bullied too, by a weird thing with massive glasses that shouted at her in a strange language, over and over. In the end, it was talking about watches. They ended up friends. Wronghorn is a comfy stalker."
"Today I learned a few nohorn words from Shopkeeper when a nohorn came to return a busted witch device I used to play with. Lazyhorns: if you are reading this, go fuck yourself."
"Today a cat tried to eat me. It was big enough to reach my ankles standing.
"The other himehorn is a high ranking executive?"
"Today I got a lot of leftover bills from the chocolate critters we sold with the cart. It's a lot more than I ever had at once, plus my savings. Rain is very nice to me lately. Too nice."
"Rain said earnings should be handled with care and responsability. That today you can live happy if you know that tomorrow will be okay. I know I'm not good at that, so I followed her advice to take care of my future and changed my savings for a new video game console."
"Rain has been staying home for three days already. Shopkeeper came to scold her and ended up playing too. I won't even wonder who's running the shop."
"I'm running Shopkeeper's shop by standing over a treasure chest. The only customer so far tried to get a bedsheets in exchange for a picture of his father and to convince me that bananas are the ultimate investment. I wonder how hard her job is."
"A BIG nohorn in a big BIG coat and hat wanted the templar sword and offered many things in exchange. I kept shaking my head from side to side. The domain is so small that nobody ever steals anything, so it had to give up and leave. Good. All it had were useless shining rocks."
"Small red and yellow dancing nohorn bursted into the shop. I his inside the chest. I hope Im writing this ok because I'm stuck inside and I can't see."
"I hope the key to the chest was an axe because that's what dancing nohorn used to get it open. Of very course, I danced. I decided to call it 'Ganker' even though it kept saying its name is 'Attarou'."
"Ganker wanted a big scarlet scarf, so I pointed at my mouth and then rubbed my tummy. Later, I ended up sharing the food with it anyway because of the drooling. When Shopkeeper came back, she stared at Ganker leave, then mopped in silence when I pointed a chicken leg at her."
"Apparently, I'm working for Shopkeeper now. For free. For two months." "Rain came in to laugh at me."
"At least Ganker is pretty happy about the scarf." There's a drawing below. It's a small red and yellow nohorn running, dragging behind it a very detailed blood red scarf that's oddly long. It smiles wildly.
"I had a dream. Enna was in it. She said the final boss of a game dropped the best sword and things like that. I don't know a lot about them and I didn't know what to say, but she kept on talking." "Today I woke up to a poster of Algis winking, glued to the ceiling. RAIN."
"I asked Freckles about witches with a doodle and she said that we have to sell boomerangs along the pastries because Magic bought a lot and they don't come back. She hopes they never do. I still don't get witches."
"Boomerangs do come back, though, when people find out they don't." Below is a very realistic drawing of Freckles about to scream, with a lot of veins on her face. So Dreamer can do more than doodles, I guess.
"But when she tried to throw them all away they did come back; one even went straight to her face. Maybe it's the way you throw them; maybe she's good at it! I wonder why she's so sad, though." Below is yet another very realistic picture of Freckle's scowl towards destiny.
"Today I had the same dream. Enna was rambling and grumbling and saying things I don't get at all. I know it's Enna because it's my dream, but the shape is all twisted and odd and it's like staring into a blurred sun that doesn't burn. I ended up daydreaming inside my dream."
"Today I've shown Shopkeeper my doodle about witches. She said a lot of people like to say witches talk to them to seem special., but that witches don't even exist. According to her, no one would stand being bored for so long."
"I then asked Rain about witches because she keeps drawing Algis in everything I own... and she also said that witches don't exist! When I asked about the drawings, she said she never draws anything. Then hid her hands in her sleeves and said she lost them in a bet."
"I even reminded Rain that she drew Algis on Wronhorn's back when I got the two together; she just said that meeting never happened. I can't really complain though, Rain was really warm with to and that was nice."
"I think Rain just messes with me because she's glad that someone is there to share the hate. I wonder what Algis did to her. I wonder if Enna is really in that temple. I wonder if I'll ever meet the Southern Witch Apostle again; she didn't even smell."
"I had the same dream last night..."
"12 eggs, 12 bananas, broccoli, milk, apple cider, chocolate eggs for kids (for Magic), 7.o0 clonazepam (Freckles), Mahou Shoujo Cupcake: The Movie (Shopkeeper), Please Understand Me VII (Wronghorn), binoculars (Rain)..."
Note: It was a shopping list.
"I'm not the only one; Ganker goes after a lot of people. He surprise-hugs them or dances with them on the spot, but they all seem to like it and play along. That's when I sneak by."
"The shop is still closed, but the cart is going really really well with the sales! I'm not sure why. Freckles thinks that it's because people dislike going out of their way, so the cart is saving them from the hassle."
"We also sell frog-clocks that jump to your face instead of sounding like any alarm. Rain has one. She says that it's like waking up to a punch in the face, and that she needs that."
"The last one we sold jumped straight from the customer's hands into the tiny river that goes under the bridge."
Yet another Freckle's closeup in very high resolution. She looks CALM.
"If only Magic used the earning to actually fix the bakery."
Below is a picture of a smallharemhorn hugging a little snowman with glasses. Wait, that's Loveball.
"I'm always the one rambling when I visit the wronghorn. I asked about her problems. She finds nothing worth fussing about. I agree. But rambling is fun!"
"The meat comes from underground farms and shelters. I never dared to ask, but I did expect things to be different from the caves. I'd like to see for myself sometime."
"This time I finally managed to leave some cake at the temple, without getting lost. I keep looking for the Oldhorn, but he's nowhere to be found. I saved some of the cake for him."
"Today I had my first kiss with someone that wasn't Lazyhorn bullying me. Ganker was too fast and tried to kiss me on the cheek, but failed. Now he's the one hiding from me. That's good, I guess?"
"Sometimes I can't sleep. Today, at the cart, I almost did while a tall nohorn with fluffy ears asked for a slice of cheesecake. Freckles wasn't there, so I gave him a boomerang and told him it was a free tasting sample. He actually bit the tip of it. Then left.
I still wonder."
"I finally found where the Oldhorn was hiding. He yelled at me from the window of a gray house. They have him locked with many oldhorns of all shapes and sizes because he's old. Most of them can't walk, but he likes to grab his "THE END IS NEAR" poster and run away for days."
"I've been looking for the other himehorn for a while but, in the end, she was the one that found me. She had sent a letter to the bakery, but, since the bakery was deserted, it got stuck there for three days. After reading it, I realized I had five minutes to get there."
"Today I finally met the other himehorn. She's a hornmother, looks like a hornmother- and acts nothing like a hornmother at all. Her robe is all weird, but very pretty. It's black with white sleeves, and something hangs from under her neck. Also pants. Those were black too."
"Her job is to decide who gets to work at her big, BIG bakery, and to tell them when they won't work there anymore. She says some of them cry, and that I shouldnt worry because they give them money so that they'll at least be sad with an awesome new witch device."
"We talked a lot. She likes to work, I don't. I'm careful about making people sad, she does it on purpose because it's funny. I'm a haremhorn, she's a hornmother. We are really really different. So why can we get along so well? Maybe we are both a little lonely?"
"However, once we got to her home she jumped right on her sofa, had me get wine and cake from the fridge, got drunk, singed, and asked for a massage while we watched the big witch device. So it's just another hornmother, in the end?"
"I decided to call her 'Horns Inc' because of a joke. She's a defective too. Horns Inc says she doesn't miss her Herd, but she was so happy to have me pamper her that I don't believe a word of it. Maybe she got so into her job to distract herself from the sadness. I miss it."
"I ended up falling asleep while working on her shoulders. The next day, Horns Inc had one of those very long black cars get me back to the cart in the middle of the snowy plaza. Freckles was there. Her face was very funny."
"Apparently, she was expelled from so many herds that the Apostle got her out of the caves, because of how obsessed she was with getting back the surface. I wonder how it felt when she finally saw it with her own eyes..."
"I'll finish this tomorrow."
Below is another mega-realistic picture of Freckle's face as she looks at her coming out of the car. The chin and neck are missing and there's no nose, so it's like the mouth is floating under the eyes. However, it's very detailed.
"Horns Inc said we should live together. We were on the lemonsine. She had been waiting for me a whole hour while I was selling cheesecake at the cart. I don't know her at all and she isn't from my herd, so I said no. She said I wouldn't have to work anymore. I... shouldn't.."
"Today I'm fairly sure I spotted Ganker looking at me from behind a corner. Good. Fear the kiss! Nananana!"
"Today Shopkeeper tried to hide from time itself by locking herself inside the storage room. She said it went too fast and that it wasn't fair. Rain came in later, said it happened all the time, and then messed with the clock so it looked as if ten hours had already passed."
"Today we realized Magic was not fixing the bakery because the cart is selling twice as much cake. Freckles was mad at first- but he did have a good point this time. So, instead of new boomerangs, we got Magic to buy us a tent to keep the cold away. It has HORNS on the roof."
"The tent is a bit heavy, but the horns are actually balloons and even us can move it if we work together. It works great against the wind, too, so the customers that used to buy cake now stay to buy more cake and talk. And we have seats. SEATS!!!"
"We even ran out of cake a few times. Getting more cake from the bakery is a chore since it's not near and sweating under the clothes is the worst of the worst. But now I'm glad because that gave Freckles an idea. A very very good idea. We could turn the tent into... a car!!"
"We told Magic, but he had none of it. He said the boomerang market was booming, that everyone who had their hearts broken wanted something that actually came back. Freckles threatened to sell HIM. She was serious. Very serious. So Magic is now working on the car. I.. I wonder."
"It's annoying, I hate schedules, and dressing is a pain. But... I did get excited about the car idea. I'm really looking forward to it. I don't like to work, but I can't be still either. Lately, It's like I know the domain more than I know me. I'm my own big riddle."
"There's this restaurant and this table on a tall spot and I spent the whole afternoon people-watching with Rain. She was so right; this is fun. No one looks alike."
"Rain said that there newcomers just keep on coming, and that finding two of the same kind is hard. Eyes, limbs, shapes; it's always different. Even families are rare. That made me a tad bit sad."
"I may have gone overboard, because I drew a ton of nohorns togueter, smiling, and the page said that we all were one big herd now. Rain kinda turned off, but then laughed. She said that, since we are sisters now, I had to lend her money to buy a barbell. I smiled; and didn't."
"Only after I came back home to nap I noticed the Algis on the back on my journal. It has big, BIG muscles, and its lifting dumbells with each hand and eyebrows. Of course, it's winking at me. It just had to."
"Rain used to laugh whenever I tripped or crashed on something. Lately she walks me by hand, and pulls me away before that happens. I don't know how to feel about that."
"I got ganked again, but, this time, he just talked. Ganker talks a lot about Heather. It felt like I met him before. Yet this morning I went back home five times because I wasnt sure if the gas was leaking or the windows open. And Im not even sure about that. So, whatever."
“Rain and I had to get some boxes from the high shelves of the storage, the ones that have rings or amulets. Theres only one in each box. This is good because Rain just kept throwing them at me from above. I couldn’t catch them. She only realized that when I was already buried."
"This silence will be the end of me.” “After helping me out, Rain took some distance from me, grabbed a little box from the floor, and slowly threw it at me. I braced for it. It hit my face, then my arms, and then fell out of the window.”
“She was baffled. Rain slapped me in the face, over and over, quickly but softly, until I snapped and told her to GO HOME. She looked so worried I got worried too until she blew in my eyes and I punched her in the face. When Shopkeeper came, Rain told her I had ‘no reflexes’."
“There’s a second mind in you, said Shopkeeper, that doesn’t ask questions or waits for answers. Sometimes there’s no time to think so it acts, whether you want it to or not. The other mind is there to save you from things that come too fast. It just does things.”
“The horned-bakery-car is still quite not there, so Freckles tried to run the bakery as it is now. Few people came. I showed her the last of the journal. I got her as curious as I was, and she told me the second mind is what makes cats lick their kittens to groom them.”
“Id rather hug people than breath, but I’m careful about it. Haremhorns glued themselves to hornmothers like saps, while I waited for them to come at me. I never did anything unless I was sure they wanted me to. I got along with only one of them, but she was always there for me.”
“I asked Magic about it. ‘Woman are nothing but trials’, he said. Freckles pointed out that he was the other way around, that Magic was all impulse but no brains. Inside his head, she said, is a tiny, scared monkey trying to fix a stove by pummeling it with a wench. Screaming."
"He didn’t mind. When a conversation goes on for too long, Magic simply breakdances away. And it's over. As over as it gets. Somehow, it smells like true wisdom.”
Below is a picture of Magic with an owl standing over his head. The owl is gigantic, but he doesn't seem to mind.
“Today was a very important day. Today, halfway through life, I finally figured out my defect. I have no instinct. I have no second mind. I’m ‘think, then do’, and I can’t grasp how the rest could do. That isn’t changing anytime soon. My legs are just the result of bad grammar."
“I’m feeling so many great things now. All at once. So much makes sense now. It’s sad; yet nice. I got to love my Herd for what it was, not because a second voice told me to. And this defect may be why I can stay here on my own. Maybe I can be happy here because of it."
"It kinda feels like I never had a choice, but now I can be ok with that. Bittersweet and all, there's a silver lining to my defect and I’m going to embrace it. I'm going to miss my herd. I won't go back. So I'm going to enjoy this as much as I can." Leader napping. Char limit.
“Today Magic said he had the best dream ever and that dreams can definitively come true. He tasked Freckles and me to look for nohorns like him all over the domain, and even got Rain to tag along."
"Shopkeeper threw a fit because, without us, she had to stay at the shop and she felt sleepy-grumpy. It was over as soon as Magic took out his wallet.”
“Magic wants to open up a restaurant where bodybuilders take the place of furniture. You sit on them to eat, you place your dishes on them, you push them aside to come in or when you have to use the bathroom. Rain was hyped. Freckles was not.”
“We took Freckles people-watching from the usual spot at the restaurant. She calmed down. Magic has the money but he doesn’t keep track of how there is. Freckles does; but she can’t make any calls on it. She sighs a lot."
"She says it’s a lot and that it keeps growing because Magic doesn't spend it on anything but his 'moments'. But, the more money Magic has, the more reckless he becomes. One time, he tried to merge the bakery with a gym. Being Freckles must be tough.”
“After a while, I was surprised to realize that nohorn males like Magic or Ganker are few. Rain said most inhabitants of Enna's Domain are either ‘something weird’ or female. Freckles went after the only one we spotted 'because slavery’ while Rain and I scattered to visit shops.”
“The one we found at a pharmacy had ears like a cat and was all silly, tall, and funny. Rain talked to him for a while; he laughed a lot."
"When he asked what we wanted, Rain went silent and turned to look at me. He did too. I felt a big fat drop of sweat going down, but I couldn’t get a word out. I had never, ever, sketched anything so fast in my life. I can't taaaaaalk!”
“The second we found was Ganker but we didn’t even bother with him. I like how people play along with all he does, and having him near makes me feel silly for being so scared. I wonder how he does that.”
“We found the third one inside a dark alley. The shadow of a big leather hat hid his eyes, but the hat had eyes of its own that were a pair of big googles. He was really tall and the shape of his body was hard to tell apart under the trenchcoat."
"Being near him made me feel so uneasy, I’m still trying hard to not just think he’s a mean nohorn bully.”
Below is a full drawing of the guy in question. I want that hat.
“Rain traded a few words with him, and he spoke In short, cold words, smiling a lot. Until Rain punched him in the gut, yelled at him to ‘stop acting all fucking dark’, and he busted out laughing, rolling on the floor."
"I was really taken aback; I usually rely on my feelings to know if someone is nice or not. And I don't get how it works, but it does, so it’s odd to think I could be biased…”
“We got two of them so far, and finding the fourth was surprisingly easy. The Oldhorn was there with his old ‘the end is near’ poster, waving it over his head so people had a good day."
"I wasn’t sure about talking him into this; but Rain did. She got the Oldhorn to take his shirt off, and now I'm cracking my head trying to figure out how he hid all those muscles."
"The Oldhorn headpatted me. It felt nice and happy. He had his chance to hurt me and didn't.”
“Freckles was already at the bakery when we got there. She said the man agreed in exchange for beer. Rain told Magic about the four we met, but he was sad anyway because the bar would need, at the very least, fifty more bodybuilders. 'All I wanted', he said, 'was to be a chair'."
"He even made a map of how it would look like, and it was far too detailed. Rain begged him to let her have it. She begged on her knees. She even cried a little.”
“We found Shopkeeper sleeping on her post and dragged her to have dinner at the high spot, at Magic's expense. She was drowsy and kept laughing at her own jokes that made no sense at all, and Rain laughed along every time she did. I was laughing too, and I still don't get why."
"Something they said stood in my mind. Shopkeeper was excited because the 'Secret Shop' was opening soon, and I recall Rain saying something like that to the man with the hat. However, eating hot food in the cold feels so good that I missed my chance to ask. I will. Tomorrow."