Nokamata: Survival by Delusion

[18:07] Selena sniffs
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:22] Selena Nokamata asks, "Hm?"
[19:22] Selena Nokamata says, "... Why do you seem so familiar."
[19:22] Ravia asks, "Have you mined before?"
[19:23] Selena Nokamata says, "From time to time..."
[19:23] Ravia says, "Oh, sorry, yeah I should be familiar you watched me kill boars for quite some time"
[19:23] Selena Nokamata says, "Oh, yeah. That's where I remember you from. A chance encounter..."
[19:23] Selena rubs at her still teary eyes.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:24] Selena Nokamata says, "Sorry, I just... Not exactly... I'm not exactly the most presentable, heheh."
[19:24] Selena sighs.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:24] Ravia pointed her staff further into the cave, giving a vague gesture.

"If you trust that my magic is stronger than yours I suggest you run away from anything scorpion looking. If you think you're stronger than me, you'll be fine."
(Ravia)
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[19:27] The woman looked... For a lack of better words, as though she had experienced hell. No physical damage, just a worn face, eyes still bloodshot from crying earlier. Her voice sounded tired, and body mostly wispy in its motions.

"It's alright." she answered rather vaguely, making her rather exhausted pace further into the darkness. Given the warning, wasn't it dangerous?

… Did she even care at this point?

Seemingly unarmed, and lacking the motivation to keep her guard up -- it seemed as though she had simply been lost for willpower.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:30] Ravia gave a tilt of her head, a bit confused what exactly had happened to Selena. She walked up cautiously and stood beside her, wishing for once that she'd learned some sort of magic than helped rather than hurt. Instead she had to just stand there, ready to follow the woman wherever she wanted.

"Do you need to mine for money or for ore?" she asked, seeming concerned but instead of asking what was wrong somewhat dancing around her concern.
(Ravia)
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[19:33] "I'm just to go for a walk."
She claimed, continuing her pace further into the cave.
The thought of ore mining certainly was at the back of her mind, but something else was rearing its ugly head from beneath the surface, vastly overshadowing her mannerisms...
It seemed to choke out her judgement, leaving her feeling somewhat sated in this darkness... This solitude... As though there was just one more step she needed to take.

… A step that this one light in the darkness simply wasn't allowing just yet: Ravia, whether unwittingly or not, seemed to be in the way of that.
The exhausted woman looked down at the kitsune, truly tired...

"That's all..." she assured, lacking much confidence in that claim.

"I just need..." She choked up on her words, "--To take a nice walk..."
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:36] Ravia wasn't very convinced, her lips down in a frown and her eyes narrowed at what she was once convinced was at the very least not an enemy, but ideally was her friend. The girl didn't leave, instead simply putting out her torch and staying with Selena.

A bright light would never help a headache after all.

"I'll stay with you, okay? I don't want you getting hurt. Promise I'll be quiet and dark"
(Ravia)
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[19:43] She wasn't going to leave her alone...
Perhaps, that was for the better? Why couldn't they just let the dark take her? Let whatever that skulked within it, finally rend her of this... Constantly losing battle.

She simply moved onward, taking step... After heavy step further into the cave. This time though, she wasn't alone -- it was as though fate itself would not have it so.

"... You don't have to." she went on, back turned to Ravia as she continued, "If anything, you should just grab some ore and be on your way."
Unlike the first time they met, those once gleaming ruby eyes were dull.
Everything felt fatigued about her, and with a closer look to her person? She had brought no mining equipment.

A cave like this, was the last place someone should expect a casual stroll.

"Besides... There could be thieves lying around at this time of night. Best to get moving... Quickly."
(Selena Nokamata)
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[19:48] Ravia was beginning to get glimpses of a very different picture, and the concern she felt for the tired woman only doubled, Ravia putting a hand on Selena's still flesh shoulder and stopping her for a moment. There was a reason she didn't want to leave her behind here, if she honestly wanted to be left alone then it was unwise to give her a second.

"I know the dangers here, and most of them I can handle just fine. That's why I wanted to stay and protect you. I think it's best we both leave though, and get you back to town for some rest. You seem uneasy" she gave, unsure if she was reading this situation correctly. Reading was not her strong suit.
(Ravia)
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[19:59] A hand on her shoulder... And upon the flesh. At least, she could feel the warmth of someone that genuinely cared. Though, for whatever reason, it didn't feel the same as it did with the others.
There was something else festering within that transformed that ugly sensation from within:
Spite.

--but not for Ravia... Her intentions seemed pure by comparison.
No, there were the others...
The others that only ever gave that same touch when they had been entangled by her influence. A touch only felt, at the volition of their lust...
That, tensed her up -- reminded of such an empty gesture.

"..."

Selena didn't speak, but at least she stopped where she stood. Humorously enough, the younger youth was indeed taller than her, which made this interaction irk just... the slightest curl of the lip. Tears took stride down her face, only coming clear with their drops off her chin, making minute blotches on the cavernous floor.

"... Yes." she answered.
"... Let's go back to town." That godforsaken town that tormented a soul not too long ago. The thought of it made her sick, yet where else was she going to go? To a barsburgian land intent on enslaving and torturing her?
Surely, the choices were between potential lynching and experimentation: Hopeless indeed.

Though, it was likely still safe for her now... Right?
(Selena Nokamata)
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[20:08] Ravia had made of life of lacking understanding. No one had turned to her with disdain without base. Not once had the young kitsune experienced the disdain of another without the knowledge that she completely understood why they felt such a way. She acted brash, rude even at times when she didn't know or had never interacted with someone.

"Okay" she gave, turning around and allowing Selena to walk beside her, so that she didn't simply run off into the cave. The young kitsune didn't understand that something very serious had occurred or was bothering the woman, but she understood the sort of thoughts that came with feeling awful and exhausted for too long.

She staved off the dull thoughts at the edges of her mind with spite. Show the world what some young nothing is capable of. If she rose to greatness no one would be convinced they didn't matter.

With that thought in mind Ravia brought the mithril armed woman back to town, doing her the favor of moving slowly for the sake of her tired self. "If I had a home I'd certain offer you to rest there, but sadly I don't" just then Ravia began to see the value in a home. It bred companionship.
(Ravia)
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[20:10] Ravia says, "Sit, breathe, rest."

[20:18] The woman took a seat, rubbing at her face with both hands. Taking up the advice and breathing... Attempting to really think straight. Surprisingly enough, it was a lot easier to get her thoughts in order when she was not in silence... In solitude... In darkness...

That creeping urge slunk away with the darkness, settling back to the deepest depths of Selena's mind.

Her breath was trembled, tormented by her thoughts.
An individual approached, but was entirely ignored.
"It's alright." she answered towards Ravia. "... Heheh… This is still... Sweet."

She continued to rub at her face, holding her head up by her temples, with elbows at the table.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[20:25] Ravia was rather quiet, unsure how to handle the entire situation. Would it have been more helpful to attempt to console her or to simply allow her to recover?

Eventually the girl made her decision, giving a warm smile and looking to Selena as she began to speak.

"I'm sure everything will turn out just fine" what Selena said next though did confuse the kitsune a bit.

Sweet? She wasn't exactly sure how the right thing to do would be considered sweet but she supposed that didn't matter, surely the poor woman was in a very poor place to be attempting to come up with conversation. Truly Ravia was no better with such a task but it didn't mean she wouldn't do her best.

"Do you want something to eat? I always keep food on me"
(Ravia)
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[20:43] Something to eat.
She wasn't exactly hungry, but...
The thought of eating? that seemed enough to harbor a craving.
Ravia offered food, but... Selena didn't need it.
In fact, all that really was the issue was the mind.

…
Her thoughts...
Her urges...
Her desires...

They were just like anyone else's...
Only human.
Though, despite that internalized claim?

She took her hands from her face to rest them on the wooden table, taking up an alabaster gleam with her touch. The light shined to blinding degree, soon taking shape between her arms and subsiding to reveal...

A plate? On top of that, a bowl... Of... Stirfry?
How could one have materialized both material and food with her... Magic? It had to be a delusion. Yet, as she reached for a utensil seemingly manifested with the rest of this, it fidgeted and weighed in her hand flawlessly. It clashed with the bowl as she dropped it in, stirring at it, before pulling it up to her lowering face.

A savory broth dripped to the bowl, light in ratio compared to meat and noodles. As the first bite was made, the smells could be whiffed. Surely, a masterful delusion then... But why conducted on herself? If only to trick herself into believing what she took upon.
Was it real? Of course not.

But to her? It felt real... That was the reasoning behind it.
As far as she had to be concerned, that made it real enough.
Self-tutelage in the metaphysical domain allowed for spatial consolidation, if even at the air, it only further empowered the delusion with imitated physics.

Why stop at the visuals, when one could simulate girth? Why stop at mere girth, where one could construct all of the details through and through.
Selena's eyes closed, taking in all of her own making -- "I think I'm good." she claimed.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[20:51] That couldn't be right, could it? Cooking and magic were difficult separately but to combine them without so much as using ingredients surely wasn't possible.

Having never seen most kinds of magic, and found the ones she had capable of impossible feeling things, Ravia wasn't keen on asking questions of the woman as she very perfectly seemed to eat a bowl of some food or another. Rather than that the girl pulled her bag into her lap, beginning to rummage around in both the soft noises of lighter things as well as the clinking of more enticing, metallic objects.

What she pulled out of her bag was a singular portion worth of jerky she'd thrown together, something she liked to snack on and offer to the hungry. Revealing the meat from it's cloth she took a large bite out of it, her tail still behind her and ears up and alert, twitching at the small noises of the area as she kept aware.

"Alright, let me know if you change your mind" she offered, still happy to give her some jerky even if she seemed to have a far superior dish in front of her. It was simply that Ravia couldn't decide whether she believed it was food or not, or at least whether she believed it gave her nourishment.

With that the girl would peacefully eat her beginner's chef meal of amateur cooked meat.
(Ravia)
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[21:14] Selena continued to enjoy her 'meal', treating herself as she had the many others before. Comparing it directly to the amateur chef's jerky was... Hardly fair, however, only one of them truly received nourishment from this -- and it wasn't the superior looking meal.

"I thank you, honestly." she replied between forkfuls, shoveling away to better sate her appetite. While she could hunger, she could simply will the sensation to fade...
Any ailment could be resisted, at least on the surface.
Even her prosthetic could be sheathed, though that would require a constant effort. That just wouldn't do.

"I'm alright. It's just a craving." Her eyes fell to her masterpiece, truly marveling in it. The detail, the taste... Even the squeeze of the meet between her teeth - all identical to the original.
To think, it was all fabricated -- a figment of her own imagination, spawned at her mere thought and volition.

The idea of forging such, seemed to play as symbolism for her life.
This was her creation, yet she was enacting it upon her own senses...
"Yes..." she paused, lost to her thoughts.

Was there more within her capacity that she just hadn't come to grasp yet?

"Just a craving..."

Could it change the course of her life thus far?

Silence...

Perhaps.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[21:20] Ravia could see that whatever was happening between Selena and her food was a bit more than just eating. Something about that interaction was not the same as simply enjoying a meal. Whatever it was that Selena was going through the kitsune surely had no idea who to help or respond to it.

"It's not a problem" she gave, smiling nicely. The only thing that she knew how to do was smile and act nice in turn. She'd done her mining and her fighting for the day, she was happy to sit here and be here for this woman she'd met only once.

"Okay, well I hope you settle it" she gave, being brutally honest yet unsure whether she was agreeing to a dish or something more sinister. Either way, she figured hoping for someone else's dreams was a fairly innocent wish.
(Ravia)
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[21:29] Surely, this was an accidental discovery.
She had never used such delusions upon herself, thus she didn't ever truly understood what it was like to sate herself so artificially.
It felt... Good.
--and she could take it further, she knew she could.

Perhaps, this was the time she needed, a break from a much darker side of things. Even if, it was borne of such a morbid place, at least now she had a new perspective on things.
Life was just a constant lesson -- a wicked game that tormented its players, yet gave quite the boon as payment.

"Mmmm."
Bite after bite, she empted the bowl, reaching her hands out to pick herself back upright from the table.
"I don't think I ever quite got your name." she claimed, taking in a deep breath. Her chest still ached, but it was far less straining as she was before. Dried tear streaks were wiped away, and once-blood shot eyes whittled back to their original white sclera.

"I want to thank you."
(Selena Nokamata)
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[21:35] Ravia perked her head up, having finished her meal and her posture now far more relaxed. Her moods acted much like her magic, thus why the two got along so well. For short, near unbearable moments for her and those area her the young girl would lash out and explode with flame, usually an angry kind.

The rest of the time though things were rather calm, especially just after an outburst. There were days she enjoyed the lows between near as much as the outbursts and spell slinging. Particularly today, Ravia was rather satiated with the current moment. While it did feel a bit heavy to handle, that didn't mean the young kitsune wasn't appreciating the stillness and solidarity of it all. Being unstable and ready to go off at any moment wasn't any good way to act all the time.

"I'm Ravia miss. If you gave me yours I'm sorry I don't remember it" she offered, honestly unsure. She'd recognized her from that day with the boars, but on par with everything in her life the name was not something she committed to memory.
(Ravia)
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[21:41] "I didn't." she assured, a smile making it to the surface of her once-worn face.
"--and a pleasure, Ravia." she reached for the plate holding the empty bowl in front of her and...
Casually tossed it over her shoulder.

A pillar would be the surface it'd slam against, shattering like actual ceramic material and raining down into the grasses below, toiling at foliage upon its landing.
Surely, someone could confront her for her clear disregard for the property but... A blink and... It was gone?

As though it was never truly there; true to the woman's nature.
"Selena." she introduced, reaching up only to massage at the bridge of her nose, wincing some bit to cart off remnants of stress that overstayed its welcome.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[21:46] Watching Selena throw the dish over her shoulder after she'd finished with it, the girl only looked at it for a moment, not saying anything but silently confused. She hadn't expected that from her, but it made more sense when the bits of the thing disappeared from the ground.

It made sense that the thing had been entirely fact the whole time. That simply made sense. "Nice to meet you Selena" she gave, moving on easily from the endeavor. She wasn't really phased by much anymore, being so used to being confused did have it's perks.
(Ravia)
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[21:52] There was a nod, and pause... Mind pacing elsewhere, as though realizing something - a detail left out until now - a slight gasp.
"There's... Someone I have to meet." she claimed, rather suddenly, already heading eastbound.

"They're a bit a ways' away, but I'm sure I can make the distance before they pass out." she started on her journey, waving back to Ravia.
"Thank you, honestly. I think I was going to make a rather rash decision if not for you turning up." She gave a half-hearted chuckle, before kicking up her pace for a jog.

"... Maybe we'll meet again sooner than later."
Hopefully, her window was not closing too swiftly now.
(Selena Nokamata)
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[21:55] The nod was returned, as Ravia felt much less uneasy that time about Selena's talk of her plans. With that in mind she also stood up, taking a deep breath and smiling nicely. She figured she way as well head to the restaurant and see if anyone's home.

"Any time friend" Ravia said, playing with her staff in her hands again. "I look forward to seeing you again" she reassured, as the two went off to go their separate ways and the kitsune waved happily.
(Ravia)