[M4F] To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern:
written by Cardlin
Synopsis: Asking your office crush out via formal email.
Tags: M4F, Romance, Cute, Flirty

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To whom it may concern:

I was excited to see your opening for a boyfriend, as indicated by your mention of being single and I hope to be invited for an interview.

My background includes serving as a co-worker of yours as well as working on the same floor as you. Most recently, I worked on trying very hard not to make this letter sound creepy, where my responsibilities included quickly averting my gaze whenever you caught me looking your way, creating artificial reasons to walk by your desk multiple times throughout the day, thinking up witty things to say whenever we cross paths in the break room and subsequently abandoning those plans, clamming up and blushing bright red as I make a hasty exit instead.

Previously, I worked within a position that required I sit closer to the elevators, which increased my daily ability to see you. In these positions, I demonstrated the ability to not creep you out and even make you smile once or twice, as indicated by the way you would smile when you saw me playing with my desk toys, one of which you called cute. During this time, I observed a 100% increase in desk toys on your own desk, most noticeably ones that were of the same genre as mine. I believe this could lead to future net-profit goals if we synergize and align our desk-toy collecting abilities.

In addition to this experience, I gained considerable potential boyfriend skills during my part-time employment as a comedian, wherein I was telling a joke to Brian from Accounting in the break room and heard you laughing behind me when I finished. It is my great dream that the joke built up more than enough credit to make up for the way I made a hasty exit upon realizing you were there, and proceeded to do some deep-breathing in my cubicle for the following 2 minutes to recompose myself.

I also bring to the table strong computer proficiencies to help you with your occasional IT problems, which in itself leads to strong security skills to protect you from the often ill-washed and socially-inappropriate IT guy. As an added benefit, I am currently ranked #1 in the universe by all of my friends for my ability to make a grilled cheese sandwich, and am also currently Second Handsomest Man Ever, as according to my mom. (First is still Ryan Gosling).

I am confident that I can offer you the couch cuddling, grilled-cheese making and IT-guy-scaring skills you are seeking. Feel free to call me at the number provided in employment directory or contact me directly at my desk to arrange an interview. Thank you for your time -- I look forward to learning more about this opportunity!

Sincerely,

The Guy Who Wears The Hats All The Time