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- >Day Tsundere in Equestria
- >You are Anon, Ponyville's newest resident.
- >For the foreseeable future, you are to call this place 'home'.
- >While Princesses Celestia and Luna research ways to send you home, Twilight Sparkle is asking you about your home world.
- "...And then I punched her in the crotch."
- >Twilight's scribbling down notes as fast as she can keep the flow of parchment going.
- >"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, Anon."
- >No arguments here.
- >"Is there anything you can tell me about you or your species that ISN'T a huge waste of time?"
- "W-what?"
- >That was uncalled for.
- >"You know, something USEFUL! Technology, science, magic, gender roles, ANYTHING!"
- >God dammit Twilight, you've been covering that shit for the last four hours.
- "It's getting a bit late to be discussing something as vast and far-reaching as any of those topics."
- >Twilight stopped making her adorable scrunchy face and looked at the clock on the wall
- >1:37 AM
- >"...Fine, if you're going to be a foal about it, we can continue tomorrow."
- >Twilight gets up and walks up the stairs, motioning to you with her head to follow.
- >"C'mon, here's where you'll be staying."
- >Where you'll be staying is apparently her bedroom.
- >l-lewd
- "....I'll be sleeping in your bed?"
- >She scoffs in irritation, a light blush on her cheeks.
- >"Yes, Anon, you will. You're my guest, and you'll be treated properly."
- "Not that I don't appreciate it, Twilight, but where are YOU going to sleep?"
- >You could SWEAR her blush got more intense.
- >"D-don't worry about me, human. I have a perfectly good couch downstairs in the main library room."
- >Well THAT'S not fair. Her house, her bed; you can take the couch.
- "Twilight, that's very kind of you, but it's YOUR bed. YOU take it; I'LL take the couch."
- >Ruh-roh, Raggy. The scrunchy face is back.
- >"I'm not going to let Princess Celestia's special guest sleep on a lumpy, uncomfortable couch, Anon. Now, take the bed!"
- >Lumpy?
- "Were you really going to sleep on an awful couch just so that I could have a nice place to sleep?"
- >It's like her face is swimming in tomato sauce.
- >"Sh-shut up! Just.... if you aren't going to let me sleep on the couch, th-then I guess we'll b-both have to share the b-b-bed, then!"
- >Without another glance, Twilight trots over to her bed and hops up.
- >Yup; it's pony-sized.
- >"W-well? Get in!"
- >You were the big spoon tonight.
- -------
- >Day Being Useful in Equestria
- >You are Anon, and you're carrying your weight down at Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack.
- >Just because you were stolen from your home, doesn't mean you have to be a whiny little bitch about it.
- >If you're going to be staying with Twilight (and sharing her bed, apparently), then you insist that you'll pay rent.
- >When you told her that, Twilight called you a dummy and teleported out.
- >You haven't seen you since.
- >"C'mon, Anawn, put that weird muhnkey strength ter good use. Haul these baskets fer me, y'hear?"
- >You heard the boss.
- >Using your superior human spine (in line with your legs), you can lift far more than a pony can.
- >For this reason, Applejack reluctantly agreed to let you work on her farm.
- >As long as you made sure there wasn't any "funny business".
- >Pfft, okay, Applejack.
- >You'll try your best not to fuck some horses, but you can't promise anything.
- >Fucking degenerates.
- >With a heave and a grunt, you lift the baskets around your feet and.....
- >...promptly collapse under the weight.
- >God DAMN you, superior human spine!
- >Fuck me, these apples are heavy.
- >"Anawn!"
- >Applejack comes sprinting over to you, looking both angry and worried.
- >"Anawn, whut happened!"
- "Nothing, Applejack. Just lifted more than I can carry."
- >"Nothing?! Yew idgit, you cudda hurt yerself somethin' awful!"
- >She gets all up in your face like you just pissed on her apple pie.
- >"Ah have half'uh mind to sent y'all o'er yonder to the barn to sort rotten apples with Apple Bloom."
- >From the distance, a young girl's voice echoes.
- >>"Ah don't need no help from that thar monkey-man! Not if'fin he'll just hurt his dang self!"
- >God DAMN these ponies have good hearing.
- >"Anawn, jus' y'all sit down on the porch til yer back feels better, 'hear?"
- >That's almost sweet.
- "Applejack, I didn't know you cared."
- >You are the king of deadpan.
- >Her orange face turns red, and she glares at you.
- >"Ah DON'T, friendo. Twahlahght'll tan mah hide if Ah get you hurt."
- >She gently headbutts you in the direction of the house.
- >"Now skedaddle! A-an' if'fin y'all see Granny Smith, you tell her t-to give her summa'that pie Ah've been savin' fer a special 'ccasion."
- "Applejack, are you sure? If you want to save it, then you do-"
- >"Aw shoot, 'course Ah'm sure! Consider this a thank-you for not telling Twahlahght that you nearly got yer dumb self hurt on mah farm."
- >Why don't these ponies like you?
- -------------------------------
- >Day Gotta Go Fast in Equestria
- >You are Anon, and Rainbow Dash is showing off to you.
- >You're VERY impressed with her.
- >Mostly because horses don't fly where you come from.
- >Rainbow Dash flies up to you and settles into a hover in front of your face.
- >"Did you see that! I think I set a whole new record."
- "Yeah, Rainbow, that was amazing! I've never seen anything like it!"
- >She blushes, but turns away from you.
- >"D-don't think you can butter me up with compliments, Anon. Twilight's told me all about you."
- >....why is Twilight spreading rumours about you?
- >Shit. Time for damage control.
- "No, Dashie, I mean it. The control you have in the air is breath-taking, and I can tell you right now that I'll NEVER forget that... what did you call it? Rainbow Boom?"
- >She's blushing harder, and she won't meet your eyes.
- >Welp, if she already doesn't like you, then you have nothing to lose.
- >You cup her cheek, startling her out of whatever was going on in her head.
- "What you can do is nothing short of magical, Rainbow. And I'm not just saying that to 'butter you up'. I really mean it."
- >"Juh-bgh-HNNG..."
- >You think you broke the bird-horse.
- >"THANKYOUSHUTUPNOW"
- >With that burst of words, Rainbow Dash flies away to parts unknown.
- >Aww, that was actually really cute.
- >Tiny blue pony can't take a compliment.
- >You gotta remember to tell Twilight about that.
- ------------------
- >Day Mannequins Are Scary in Equestria.
- >Rarity requested your presence today at her boutique.
- >She said that she can't pass up the opportunity to study a whole new world's-worth of fashion, and that you simply MUST visit some time, dear.
- >And so, you are sitting on a tiny pony chair across from Rarity, drinking tea from tiny pony cups on tiny pony saucers.
- >Rarity is talking to you, but you're too busy focusing on the horse-mannequins she has lined up.
- >Mane-equins?
- >MannEquine?
- >Horse puns are HARD.
- >"Anonymous! Are you even paying attention?"
- >She scoffs and daintily drains the rest of her mug.
- >"I canNOT believe how rude you are being right now. I let you into MY abode so that we can discuss YOUR fashion, and you don't even listen to what I have to say."
- "Rarity, YOU wanted to talk to me about Earth fashion, not the other way around."
- >Okay, that sounded a bit rude.
- "Look, I'm sorry that I wasn't paying attention. Mannequins kind of... scare me, y'see, and I feel pretty creeped out being surrounded by them."
- >Rarity looks caught between angry and worried.
- >She looks like a concerned aunt, to be honest.
- >"W-well darling, why didn't you say something earlier?"
- >She glow-horns all the pony statues into the back room and glares at you.
- >"If you had just told me that you were scared, then we wouldn't have wasted all this time!"
- >She huffs and makes irritated horse noises at you.
- >Well, you guess you can say goodbye to new horseclothes.
- >"I suppose I should apologize, Anonymous. As your host, I should have noticed your discomfort sooner."
- "Rarity, it's fine. I should have sa-"
- >"Don't you dare try and take the blame for this, Anonymous! Now get up onto that podium over there; I want to take your measurements."
- >She nudges you with her magic, and you scramble to your feet.
- >Why aren't you discussing Earth fashion any more? Did you really fuck up this badly?
- "Wait, I'm sor-"
- >"Anonymous, you are walking out of this shop with a new set of clothing, and that's final."
- >She blushes and glares at you.
- >"I won't have my reputation besmirched by.. by... some ruffian!"
- >Well excuse me, princess.
- "A ruffian?"
- >This is so cute.
- >Rarity says nothing; she just sputters and grabs for her measuring tape.
- >"Forearms spread, darling."
- >Today was a free clothes kind of day.
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