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  1. Deathly Paranoium picks up the receiver of the rotary wall phone and dials.
  2. In your ear: *rrrrrrrrr*
  3. speaker phone
  4. Deathly Paranoium activates the speaker on the rotary wall phone and replaces the handset.
  5. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  6. The door swings open.
  7. Zombie Kalea walks into the office.
  8. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  9. Zombie Kalea [to Sister Agnes]: pay
  10. From the door, you hear a distant child's scream, then awful silence.
  11. Sister Agnes [to Zombie Kalea]: The benevolent fund could afford perhaps...$50 per rabid child?
  12. Sister Agnes says, "Thank you for taking care of those 3 lost ones for us." Her eyes narrow. "Mother
  13. Mary smiles on your good work."
  14. Zombie King Stabs grabs his rotten steak crown and thrusts his groin at Zombie Kalea.
  15. Zombie Kalea's skin turns completely cold. She can't resist the urge to dance jerkily as funky music
  16. plays in the background.
  17. Zombie Kalea heads out of the office.
  18. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  19. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  20. -phone Hi!
  21. From the door, you hear loud gunfire.
  22. From the door, you hear a loud child's scream, then awful silence.
  23. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: Hi!
  24. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  25. Treebeard walks into the office.
  26. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  27. From the door, you hear the faint sounds of a struggle.
  28. Zombie King Stabs waves to Treebeard.
  29. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  30. think shhh we are on the phone
  31. Deathly Paranoium . o O ( shhh we are on the phone )
  32. The door swings shut.
  33. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  34. Zombie King Stabs grabs his rotten steak crown and thrusts his groin at Treebeard.
  35. Treebeard's skin turns completely cold. He can't resist the urge to dance jerkily as funky music
  36. plays in the background.
  37. The door swings open.
  38. potemkin walks into the office.
  39. potemkin [to Sister Agnes]: heal
  40. Sister Agnes [to potemkin]: Are you wounded? Our lord Jesus can help you.
  41. Sister Agnes [to potemkin]: Jesus and Mary, help this poor seeker!
  42. [tradenet] distress says, "w75 m0dd3d f1a5h whip0"
  43. potemkin [to Sister Agnes]: pay
  44. Sister Agnes [to potemkin]: The benevolent fund could afford perhaps...$50 per rabid child?
  45. [tradenet] Stabs says, "$5"
  46. potemkin heads out of the office.
  47. From the door, you hear a faint door latch.
  48. [tradenet] distress says, "g00d 3n0ugh d3a1"
  49. From the door, you hear a soft child's scream, then awful silence.
  50. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "$10"
  51. [tradenet] Fool says, "$4"
  52. -phone Hi!
  53. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: Hi!
  54. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "200"
  55. [tradenet] Stabs says, "aw www w shit i got outbid"
  56. From the door, you hear the muffled sounds of a struggle.
  57. From the door, you hear a distant child's scream, then awful silence.
  58. Treebeard [to Sister Agnes]: photo
  59. Sister Agnes [to Treebeard]: Whatever do you mean?
  60. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "200!"
  61. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "because fuck you stabs"
  62. [tradenet] distress asks, "d0 i h3ar 300???"
  63. From the door, you hear a faint door latch.
  64. From the door, you hear a distant child's scream, then awful silence.
  65. From the door, you hear the faint sounds of a struggle.
  66. -phone Is this the Vuvuzela control hotline?
  67. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: Is this the Vuvuzela control hotline?
  68. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "500"
  69. The door swings shut.
  70. [chatnet] Vronkio exclaims, "I love Dude and his 100% payrate!"
  71. look phone
  72. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "200! ! ! !"
  73.  
  74. rotary wall phone
  75. A weirdly charming relic in these techopocalyptic times, the bulky matte black telephone set invites
  76. you to caress its nostalgic curves and clear rotary number dial.
  77. It's plugged in and turned on.
  78. The phone's number is engraved on the side: 402-9807.
  79. You're on the phone.
  80. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "700"
  81. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "200! ! ! ! !"
  82. [tradenet] Cornelia exclaims, "600!!"
  83. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "200! ! ! ! ! !"
  84. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: help
  85. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "fml"
  86. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: i've been kidnapped
  87. Treebeard dances and goes, "And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike!"
  88. From the door, you hear the distant sounds of a struggle.
  89. [chatnet] Deathly Fool says, "I am outbidding all of you"
  90. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "I pay 1000 and not a penny more"
  91. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "Damn you guys, 2000"
  92. Zombie King Stabs's leg snaps!
  93. [chatnet] Deathly Fool says, "waait wrong net"
  94. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: now i can't run
  95. "this means nothing do not listen to him
  96. Deathly Paranoium says, "this means nothing do not listen to him"
  97. [tradenet] Nanie has left tradenet.
  98. Treebeard's leg breaks!
  99. "wait what
  100. Deathly Paranoium says, "wait what"
  101. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "FUCK YOU"
  102. From the door, you hear a faint child's scream, then awful silence.
  103. tac
  104.  
  105. [Deathly Paranoium***] player [ 100% ] horny band
  106. [Zombie King Stabs***] player [ 100% ] horny leg
  107. [Treebeard (N)*******] newbie [ 100% ] hunger thriller leg
  108. [Sister Agnes********] npc [ 85% ]
  109. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: you are the worst rescuer
  110. AUGH! Something snapped in your leg!
  111. Deathly Paranoium's leg snaps!
  112. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "200! ! ! ! ! ! ! !"
  113. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "B)"
  114. "what the fuck is going on aaaa
  115. Deathly Paranoium says, "what the fuck is going on aaaa"
  116. tac
  117.  
  118. [Deathly Paranoium***] player [ 100% ] horny band leg
  119. [Zombie King Stabs***] player [ 100% ] horny leg
  120. [Treebeard (N)*******] newbie [ 100% ] hunger thriller leg
  121. [Sister Agnes********] npc [ 85% ]
  122. [tradenet] distress says, "0k 50 w3 hab 2k?? any 07h3r bidd35?? 101 lol"
  123. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: treebeard didn't even have anything to do with this,
  124. you are a villainous rescuer
  125. [tradenet] Chimaera asks, "What am I bidding on?"
  126. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "chimaera B("
  127. Your bandages wither and fall away from your wounds, the healing salves finally expended.
  128. Everything begins to glow around you, as you realize you have discovered the key to the meani-- oh
  129. wait, it was just the drugs again-- [ Server checkpointed. ]
  130. [tradenet] distress says, "m0dd3d f1a5h whip"
  131. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "also rofl"
  132. [tradenet] Dude says, "wha7 m0d5"
  133. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "Oh, ok."
  134. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: how do i flee my captors
  135. [tradenet] distress says, "uh, 5h0ck/grip an i 7hink 3mp lol"
  136. Zombie King Stabs [to the rotary wall phone]: advise me
  137. -phone don't listen to him
  138. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: don't listen to him
  139. The rotary wall phone: *click*
  140. Deathly Paranoium hangs up the rotary wall phone.
  141. Zombie King Stabs says, "man"
  142. Zombie King Stabs bows his head and breathes deeply, extending his limbs.
  143. [tradenet] distress says, ""i7 r c0v3r3d n 1umin0u5 ci1ia.""
  144. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "wtf you mean 'you think'"
  145. Zombie King Stabs says, "what a dick"
  146. [tradenet] Dude says, "KRAK3N 73N7AC13 0R "
  147. [tradenet] distress says, "mayb3 da75 73n7ac13? 101"
  148. [tradenet] distress says, "i dunn0"
  149. [tradenet] Hova has left tradenet.
  150. [tradenet] Dude says, "7ha75 krak3n "
  151. c that was the least fun phone call I've ever had
  152. [ UAC ]: Paranoium says, "that was the least fun phone call I've ever had"
  153. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "yeah"
  154. [tradenet] distress says, "0k bu7 i w75 di5 p00 p00"
  155. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "help my leg"
  156. c admins should do more than just break your legs!
  157. [ UAC ]: Paranoium exclaims, "admins should do more than just break your legs!"
  158. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "my le g"
  159. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "poo poo"
  160. st
  161.  
  162. Health [||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||] [ 30/30 ]
  163. Thirst [||| ] [ 55/500 ]
  164. Hunger [| ] [ 17/500 ]
  165. Stress [ ] [ 0/500 ]
  166. GOD, you NEED it right NOW!!
  167. You've got a broken leg.
  168. You're holding a telephone book and a portable defibrillator.
  169. Your credit chip shows $167,281.
  170. You can barely move under your backbreaking load.
  171. Your fighting style is 'aggressive' (+0.2 speed, +1 tohit, -2 def).
  172. You will reclone in freedom city.
  173. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "poo poo!"
  174. use first on stabs
  175. Deathly Paranoium begins caring for Zombie King Stabs with her first aid kit.
  176. You start working on Zombie King Stabs.
  177. [tradenet] Fool exclaims, "! ! !"
  178. [tradenet] distress says, "p00 p00! lol"
  179. look
  180.  
  181. :(:(:(:(/\ Sister's Room (orphanage) 5:07am
  182. :(:(:(/- | A large dark chamber, lit mostly through the dim light of the
  183. :(:(()|o | stained-glass windows along the top of the room.
  184. :(:(:(\__/ A huge crucifix hangs prominently on the wall behind the desk. A
  185. :(:(:(:(:( crumbling plywood desk sprawls across one side of the room. A
  186. rotary wall phone hangs behind the desk. A puddle of urine is in
  187. the corner.
  188.  
  189. Sister Agnes, Zombie King Stabs, and Treebeard are standing here.
  190. [ Exits: +east(door) ]
  191. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "i say we ask them why they have a phone"
  192. Treebeard [to Sister Agnes]: blackmail
  193. Sister Agnes [to Treebeard]: Whatever do you mean?
  194. Treebeard says, "dammit"
  195. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "thank god for filters making things a little bit better in my day."
  196. Shit. You fucked it up somehow, and didn't help Zombie King Stabs.
  197. Deathly Paranoium cleans up Zombie King Stabs and closes her first aid kit.
  198. -agnes photo
  199. Deathly Paranoium [to Sister Agnes]: photo
  200. Sister Agnes [to Deathly Paranoium]: I wouldn't know anything about that.
  201. Zombie King Stabs [to Treebeard]: sorry man your leg is broken and it's all our fault
  202. -agnes heh
  203. Deathly Paranoium [to Sister Agnes]: heh
  204. Sister Agnes [to Deathly Paranoium]: Whatever do you mean?
  205. Treebeard [to Sister Agnes]: photo
  206. Sister Agnes [to Treebeard]: I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
  207. wank
  208. Deathly Paranoium cups one hand around her breast, sliding the other down her body to rest in her
  209. crotch, fondling herself.
  210. [ UAC ]: lordician says, "fuck balls"
  211. Treebeard says, "OH MY GOD MY LEG"
  212. With a shuddering moan, Deathly Paranoium draws out her orgasm, varying the speed of her finger
  213. movements to maximize the waves of pleasure.
  214. "give it to her!
  215. Deathly Paranoium exclaims, "give it to her!"
  216. Treebeard says, "WHY GOD WHY"
  217. [ UAC ]: lordician says, "yay"
  218. tac
  219.  
  220. [Deathly Paranoium***] player [ 100% ] leg
  221. [Zombie King Stabs***] player [ 100% ] horny leg
  222. [Treebeard (N)*******] newbie [ 100% ] hunger thriller leg
  223. [Sister Agnes********] npc [ 85% ]
  224. Zombie King Stabs begins expertly fondling his thick johnson.
  225. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "shaddup fool."
  226. use first on stabs
  227. Deathly Paranoium begins caring for Zombie King Stabs with her first aid kit.
  228. You start working on Zombie King Stabs.
  229. Zombie King Stabs says, "we called the admins i'm sorry~~~~"
  230. Zombie King Stabs fondles his turgid cock, inches from the Sister's Room.
  231. "ok I will fix you guys
  232. Deathly Paranoium says, "ok I will fix you guys"
  233. tac
  234.  
  235. [Deathly Paranoium***] player [ 100% ] leg (using a first aid kit)
  236. [Zombie King Stabs***] player [ 100% ] horny leg (masturbating)
  237. [Treebeard (N)*******] newbie [ 100% ] hunger thriller leg
  238. [Sister Agnes********] npc [ 85% ]
  239. Zombie King Stabs says, "ok"
  240. Zombie King Stabs tugs on his balls.
  241. Treebeard says, "let me blackmail you agnes dammit"
  242. Treebeard dances and goes, "You're fighting for your life inside a thriller, thriller, yeah."
  243. [ UAC ]: lordician says, "<3"
  244. [tradenet] Deathly Fool cuddles with Cornelia.
  245. Zombie King Stabs says, "worst phone call"
  246. Treebeard says, "Im not good at this"
  247. Zombie King Stabs stares at the Sister's Room, stroking himself.
  248. stop
  249. [ Stopped use. ]
  250. dial 6663441 on phone
  251. Zombie King Stabs says, "i'm not either"
  252. Deathly Paranoium picks up the receiver of the rotary wall phone and dials.
  253. Zombie King Stabs grunts, holding still for a moment as his thin prong gushes a load on the Sister's
  254. Room. He collapses back, sated.
  255. In your ear: *rrrrrrrrr*
  256. [tradenet] Chimaera points at Cornelia and laughs. "Ha-ha!"
  257. Zombie King Stabs says, "no para what"
  258. Zombie King Stabs bows his head and breathes deeply, extending his limbs.
  259. speaker phone
  260. Deathly Paranoium activates the speaker on the rotary wall phone and replaces the handset.
  261. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  262. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  263. -phone help someone broke our legs and we'
  264. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: help someone broke our legs and we'
  265. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "why you laughin, my dick's bigger than yours"
  266. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  267. Treebeard dances and goes "Cuz this is Thriller! Thriller night!"
  268. -phone are trapped
  269. Deathly Paranoium [to the rotary wall phone]: are trapped
  270. Zombie King Stabs opens the door.
  271. From the door, you hear a faint door latch.
  272. Treebeard [to the rotary wall phone]: HELP ME THEY BROKE MY LEG
  273. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  274. From the door, you hear a soft child's scream, then awful silence.
  275. [tradenet] Deathly Fool points at Chimeron and laughs. "Ha-ha!"
  276. [tradenet] distress says, "50 d035 any0n3 5r51y wan7 di5 7hing"
  277. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  278. [tradenet] Fool says, "wrong person"
  279. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "yeah, 2k"
  280. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  281. [tradenet] Fool says, "B)"
  282. Zombie King Stabs looks puzzled for a moment and glances up at the sky. His hair starts to stand up
  283. on end and he screams, then vanishes.
  284. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  285. [tradenet] distress asks, "can i a150 hab a ga5 ma5k?"
  286. "what the
  287. Deathly Paranoium says, "what the"
  288. tac
  289.  
  290. [Deathly Paranoium***] player [ 100% ] leg
  291. [Treebeard (N)*******] newbie [ 100% ] hunger thriller leg
  292. [Sister Agnes********] npc [ 85% ]
  293. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  294. "um
  295. Deathly Paranoium says, "um"
  296. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  297. "oh god oh god
  298. Deathly Paranoium says, "oh god oh god"
  299. From the door, you hear a muffled door latch.
  300. The door swings shut.
  301. The rotary wall phone: *rrrrrrrrr*
  302. Treebeard says, "no ones there"
  303. yell STABS
  304. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "go buy it ya bum"
  305. Deathly Paranoium yells, "STABS!"
  306. Treebeard says, "what are we going to do"
  307. The rotary wall phone: *click*
  308. Deathly Paranoium hangs up the rotary wall phone.
  309. yell stabs come back
  310. Deathly Paranoium yells, "STABS COME BACK!"
  311. [tradenet] distress says, "store is closed"
  312. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "paranoium i am being beaten up"
  313. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "this is your fault"
  314. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "Yes, i have a spare"
  315. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "go hunt it ya bum"
  316. You feel a weird prickling on the back of your neck.
  317. You feel an awful burning spread throughout your body, as if you were being ripped into tiny pieces..
  318. .
  319. Deathly Paranoium looks puzzled for a moment and glances up at the sky. Her hair starts to stand up
  320. on end and she screams, then vanishes.
  321.  
  322. \/\/\/\/\/ Probing Chamber (USAS Lynndie England) 5:25am
  323. \/\/\/\/\/ Funhouse crazy homunculi leer from the chrome sphere around you,
  324. \/\/()\/\/ centered on the blood-crusted probing table mounted on a
  325. \/\/\/\/\/ complicated system of robotic arms.
  326. \/\/\/\/\/ A krakenhide sofa sits against the wall. A dino hide couch sits
  327. against the wall. A large, rough-looking, white and yellow
  328. splotched carpet is spread over the floor here. A majestic throne of skulls is
  329. set up here. A readymade pissoir is installed here.
  330. A parachute rack is bolted to the chrome wall. A homecam is bolted to the
  331. wall. The control panel of the abductor lies before you. The hibachi is dead
  332. and cold. A grenade safety sign is posted here. A plastic freedom alarm is
  333. attached to the wall. A program schedule is posted on a corkboard here. A few
  334. embers glow in the hibachi. A dinosaur safety sign is posted here. A memory
  335. allocation safety sign is posted here. A newbmin safety sign is posted here. A
  336. strip club billboard is posted here. A badmin safety sign is posted here.
  337. There are some stairs here. A black box with a speaker sits here. The
  338. Anti-Environmental Terrorist Symbol of our Consumer Based Economy is bare. A
  339. BOOTH FAQ is posted here ('read faq'). The New Player Monitor currently reads:
  340. 32 (145%). There's a fucking mountain of coke here! The table is piled high
  341. with various things. An empty wall mount is hanging on the wall. An antique
  342. phone sits here.
  343. You see a hydrant, a record crate, a flagburninator, a gaijinotron, a frying pan, the Wheel of
  344. Dinner, a large cabinet, a camping tent, a wishlist, a salt, a M12 RFID tag, a WHEEL OF GENDER, a
  345. Cellular Automaton, a Langton's Ant, a Mille Bombs deck, two parachutes, a Predator Primary
  346. Satellite Link, a bibleburninator, a quarter, an Air Supply minidisc, a skull, a cola of buds, a
  347. polar bear fursuit, a Snakes On A Plane FO, a discipline implant, a license plate, a potmetal
  348. lockpick, two monocles, and a pulse Gibson Les Paul Custom Drilltar on the floor.
  349. DJBoo! is sitting on the turntables. Boolaris, Spunkenstein, Frankensage, Obv-o-Lantern,
  350. YooHooligan, Xenomorph, Monkey, zombpie, Leon, Pumpkinomial, Eek!lipse, Dungeonger, Ghosti, Gilgore,
  351. Scarelastor!, dundundunlap, Stoffel_Bin_Laden, and MarvsterMash are sitting here. Wereaeyr is taking
  352. cover here, masturbating. Dick Cheney, Buford T. Justice, a mongoose, a Baloney-Extruding Duck,
  353. Dieonysus, Nimlock, BaronChocula, and E.T._oile are standing here. Chi.O'Lantern is reclining here.
  354. Zombie King Stabs is standing here, struggling against Xenomorph.
  355. [ Exits: up in(portal) ]
  356. Deathly Paranoium appears with a sudden POP.
  357. Wereaeyr jacks his stiff cock.
  358.  
  359. Current topic: RIP Gregory Isaacs, set by Xenomorph.
  360. Gilgore says, "this guy too"
  361.  
  362. THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BOOTH
  363.  
  364. I. Thou Shalt Upload MP3s with Id3v1 Or Id3v2 Tags
  365. II. Thou Shalt Upload MP3s You Like Or By Request Only
  366. III. Thou Shalt Tag All Uploads
  367. IV. Thou Shalt Respect Public Tag Content
  368. V. Thou Shalt Sit At My Turntables To DJ Thine Show
  369. VI. Thou Shalt Register Thine Love Publically With Hugs And BJs
  370. VII. Thou Shalt Register Thine Hate By Paging DJBooth Ugh
  371. VIII. Thou Shalt Not Spam
  372. IX. Thou Shalt Respect Scheduled Programs
  373. X. Thou Shalt Kick Only With Consideration
  374.  
  375. Useful Commands:
  376. [preferred] commands are considered best etiquette. [other] commands probably
  377. yield different results that may be cool. In some situations will provoke
  378. a FITE (see "HATING THE MUSIC YOU LOVE"). Generally 'common sense': don't
  379. be spammy.
  380.  
  381. Status (currently playing, listeners, queue, current genre)
  382. [preferred]
  383. look queue
  384. exam current in crate
  385.  
  386. [other]
  387. `djb (null say)
  388. `djb what's this
  389.  
  390. Vote FOR a track:
  391. [preferred]
  392. page djb yay (votes for current track)
  393. page djb I love <artist name> (votes for all tracks matching artist)
  394. hug djb (votes for current track)
  395. suck djb (votes for current track twice)
  396.  
  397. [other - generally don't be spammy]
  398. `djb i love <artist name>
  399. `djb yay
  400. throw <drug> at djb
  401.  
  402. Vote AGAINST a track:
  403. [preferred]
  404. page djb ugh
  405.  
  406. [other]
  407. `djb ugh
  408. spit djb
  409. throw <vegetable> at djb
  410. assfuck djb (votes against current track twice)
  411.  
  412. Request DJBooth's presence:
  413. page djb come
  414.  
  415. Ask DJBooth to scan new uploads:
  416. cask djb to RESCAN
  417.  
  418. Find out what a tag is all about:
  419. `djb what is <genre>
  420.  
  421. Add your definition of a genre:
  422. `djb <genre> is <something>
  423.  
  424. Skip the current track:
  425. kick djb
  426. (note: counts as a vote against the track)
  427.  
  428. Tag a bunch of tracks in sequence:
  429. @masstag <start track#> to <end track #> # VERY DANGEROUS
  430. (note: you must type 'djnet on' before using @masstag)
  431.  
  432. HATING THE MUSIC YOU LOVE
  433.  
  434. FITE: Someone loves the music you hate. When you hate their music, you are
  435. hating them. Personally. And if they hate your music? That's right, they
  436. hate you. The music must be defended. When you are provoked custom demands
  437. that you defend your very right to exist, your musical taste, the music
  438. itself, and freedom itself. There is no small infraction. Likewise, if you
  439. commit even the smallest unintentional hating of music, its lovers will
  440. FITE back.
  441.  
  442. FITE Example:
  443. Sage [to DJBooth]: all dethklok is ambient
  444. Gilmore [to DJBooth]: all dethkok isn't ambient
  445. Sage [to Gilmore]: According to ragnorakznutz.nl dethklok is viking ambient
  446. Gilmore [to Sage]: I hate you why do you ruin everything
  447. Peanut Gallery: Rabble rabble rabble
  448. Sage [to Gilmore]: FITE
  449. Gilmore [to Sage]: (FITE)
  450. Buzz Aldrin punches Peanut Gallery in the face!
  451. Peanut Gallery teleports out.
  452.  
  453. ON THE MAKING OF SHOWS
  454.  
  455. Use the corkboard to make shows. TAKE CARE. Everyone will hate you for this. Make your show as
  456. short as possible to avoid torturing everyone. Make sure your show's tag has enough tracks to make
  457. the show interesting. How many is that?
  458.  
  459. - For an hour-long show, at least 600 tracks are suggested, or the genre must be something of truly
  460. near-universal appeal.
  461. - For a half hour show, at least 400 tracks.
  462. - For a 15 minute, at least 150-200 tracks. 15 minute shows are good for odd niche genres and goofy
  463. things.
  464.  
  465. [ You earned 10 XP! ]
  466. Nimlock says, "rape is now in session"
  467. [ UAC ]: lordician says, "promote lordician he wishes to hire someone who lieks to give hugs"
  468. "oh god
  469. Deathly Paranoium says, "oh god"
  470. Zombie King Stabs dumps his milk carton out on the floor.
  471. [tradenet] distress says, "ok 2k + gas mask"
  472. Zombie King Stabs says, "take THAT"
  473. Wereaeyr strokes his cock.
  474. Zombie King Stabs struggles uselessly against Xenomorph.
  475. Gilgore axe kicks Deathly Paranoium in the abdomen.
  476. [tradenet] TRUNKS says, "Will cry for $$$"
  477. E.T._oile attacks you!
  478. You fumble clumsily with your shock baton.
  479. Deathly Paranoium puts away her first aid kit.
  480. Deathly Paranoium gets out her shock baton.
  481. You rush aggressively at E.T._oile.
  482. E.T._oile aims a deadly buzzsaw attack at Deathly Paranoium!
  483. Deathly Paranoium flails incompetently with her shock baton.
  484. Zombie King Stabs says, "milk counterattack"
  485. [ UAC ]: lordician says, "and needs to bomb crackmansion"
  486. Gilgore slaps you across the face.
  487. [|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||*] [ -1 29/30 ] ow. Your head!
  488. [ Stopped attack. ]
  489. Whaaa...you're dazed for a moment!
  490. [tradenet] Chimaera says, "I am prepared for everything"
  491. Wereaeyr stares at Zombie King Stabs, stroking himself.
  492. Deathly Paranoium shakes her head, returning to her senses.
  493. Zombie King Stabs breaks free from Xenomorph's grasp!
  494. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "please cry"
  495. [|||||||||||||||||||||||||**** ] [ -4 25/30 ] Ow! Your head!
  496. [||||||||||||||||||||||||* ] [ -1 24/30 ] ow. Your head!
  497. [E# P][ 80%] E.T._oile's blade goes red and wet, slicing into Deathly Paranoium's head.
  498. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  499. incompetence.
  500. E.T._oile tracks Deathly Paranoium's movements as she raises her buzzsaw to attack!
  501. Wereaeyr fucks his cock into his fist.
  502. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "make it good"
  503. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  504. incompetence.
  505. [tradenet] lordician says, "why must i cry why must i cry why"
  506. Wereaeyr pants excitedly, smacking his stiff pud against Zombie King Stabs's foot as he fires jets
  507. of sperm. He collapses backward and smiles, content.
  508. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  509. incompetence.
  510. [|||||||||||||||||||||*** ] [ -3 21/30 ] Ow! Your leg!
  511. [||||||||||||||||||||* ] [ -1 20/30 ] ow. Your leg!
  512. [E*P][ 66%] Deathly Paranoium grunts; E.T._oile's blade goes red and wet, slicing into her leg.
  513. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  514. incompetence.
  515. Wereaeyr lunges at Zombie King Stabs!
  516. Zombie King Stabs says, "my foote"
  517. Nimlock begins stroking his pulsing erection slowly and steadily.
  518. You find your thoughts drifting to dirty sex.
  519. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  520. incompetence.
  521. Wereaeyr grabs Zombie King Stabs and pins his arms behind his back.
  522. c this has gone from the worst phonecall to the best phonecall
  523. [ UAC ]: Paranoium says, "this has gone from the worst phonecall to the best phonecall"
  524. [|||||||||||||||||*** ] [ -3 17/30 ] Ow! Your head!
  525. [||||||||||||||||* ] [ -1 16/30 ] ow. Your head!
  526. [E*P][ 53%] Deathly Paranoium grunts when E.T._oile's blade goes red and wet, slicing into her
  527. head.
  528. E.T._oile aims a deadly buzzsaw attack at Deathly Paranoium!
  529. [tradenet] lordician says, "~/o why must I cryyy o/~"
  530. [P/E][ 100%] Deathly Paranoium waves her shock baton around in a rather awkward display of
  531. incompetence.
  532. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "this is the best"
  533. Gilgore rears one of his legs back.
  534. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "i love you para"
  535. Gilgore swiftly kicks Deathly Paranoium in the groin with extreme force, sending her soaring out of
  536. the atmosphere.
  537.  
  538. $$ skies above freedom city (sky) 5:31am
  539. ()_,## o The crawling ruin of the city spreads out beneath you like a model
  540. <<() train set smashed by a petulant child. You can see your house from
  541. .:::{} up here! The clouds slice the early morning light into brilliant
  542. oOoO oO blades.
  543. Thick clouds billow around you.
  544. Dark clouds billow to the north, northeast, and east. Purple flashes
  545. illuminate threatening clouds to the west.
  546. A bundle of colorful balloons holds up a memorial of CheechLizard. The USAS
  547. Lynndie England hovers above you.
  548. [ Exits: north northeast east southeast south southwest west northwest ]
  549. You earned the 'visited the sky' XP award!
  550. [ You earned 75 XP! ]
  551. [ Your clone has been updated! All skills and experience saved. ]
  552. You're starting to feel numb from the cold.
  553. spd [*******] alt [||||||||||] (1000 m)
  554. Deathly Paranoium soars out of the atmosphere.
  555.  
  556. Near Orbit over Earth (spaaaaaaaaaaace) 5:31am
  557. You're floating over Earth, with Freedom City and the surrounding
  558. () areas roughly directly below you... but then again, it's hard to
  559. tell direction up here. From here you can see both the mostly
  560. ruined planet which you call home and the nearly unchanging beauty
  561. of the countless stars above. All the stars of space shine in
  562. every direction around you.
  563. The skies are clear down to earth.
  564. [ Exits: ]
  565. You earned the 'visited spaaaaaaaaaaace' XP award!
  566. [ You earned 75 XP! ]
  567. [ Your clone has been updated! All skills and experience saved. ]
  568. You feel all the warmth leaving your bones in an awful wave...
  569. Deathly Paranoium suddenly shivers from an unnatural chill.
  570. Already, you feel the pressure in your lungs building as you steadily hold your breath.
  571. Your limbs feel numb. You feel sluggish and, somehow, warm and at peace. What's happening?
  572. spd [*******] alt [||||||||||] (988 m)
  573. spd [*******] alt [||||||||||] (988 m)
  574. spd [*******] alt [|||||||| ] (888 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  575. spd [*******] alt [|||||||| ] (888 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  576. spd [*******] alt [|||||| ] (688 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  577. spd [*******] alt [|||||| ] (688 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  578. spd [*******] alt [||| ] (388 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  579. spd [*******] alt [||| ] (388 m) AAAAAGGGHH!!
  580. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "DO IT"
  581. You are consumed by the searing heat of reentry!
  582. [**************** ] [ -16 0/30 ] So cold...
  583.  
  584. skies above the ocean (sky) 5:32am
  585. oO The clouds slice the early morning light into brilliant blades.
  586. oO () Rain blows in gusts from the thick clouds.
  587. oO`'\ A cloud layer hangs in the air to the east. Dark clouds billow to
  588. :| --+- the south, southwest, and west.
  589.  
  590. [ Exits: north northeast east southeast south southwest west northwest ]
  591. The cold lets up enough to let you start shivering violently again.
  592. [party] Paranoium is no longer Deathly Paranoium.
  593.  
  594. You feel an ethereal hand reaching down into your body and ripping your soul free of its corporeal
  595. prison. You rise faster, faster, through infinite space rushing toward a tunnel of bright light...
  596.  
  597.  
  598.  
  599.  
  600.  
  601. limbo (afterworld, outside of time)
  602. What is this place? It's nowhere in particular. You think you're in a big room, or maybe you're
  603. outside...it's so hard to think...
  604. [ Exits: up ]
  605. [ HINT: Look for an exit out of this afterlife to resurrect yourself. ]
  606. [tradenet] lordician says, "waaaaah"
  607. [tradenet] TRUNKS cries.
  608. You feel a strong painless electrical jolt.
  609.  
  610. skies above the ocean (sky) 5:33am
  611. oO The clouds slice the early morning light into brilliant blades.
  612. oO () A layer of clouds lies beneath you, roiling with lightning.
  613. oO`'\ A cloud layer hangs in the air to the east. Dark clouds billow to
  614. :| --+- the south, southwest, and west.
  615.  
  616. [ Exits: north northeast east southeast south southwest west northwest ]
  617. The cold lets up enough to let you start shivering violently again.
  618. spd [*******] alt [||||||||||] (10000 m)
  619. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "welp"
  620. spd [| ] alt [||||||||| ] (9988 m)
  621. spd [|| ] alt [||||||||| ] (9964 m) Umm.
  622. You're freezing to death.
  623. [* ] [ -1 0/30 ] OW!
  624. A ringing swells in your ears as your bursting lungs scream for oxygen.
  625.  
  626. You feel an ethereal hand reaching down into your body and ripping your soul free of its corporeal
  627. prison. You rise faster, faster, through infinite space rushing toward a tunnel of bright light...
  628.  
  629.  
  630.  
  631.  
  632.  
  633. limbo (afterworld, outside of time)
  634. What is this place? It's nowhere in particular. You think you're in a big room, or maybe you're
  635. outside...it's so hard to think...
  636. [ Exits: up ]
  637. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "thanks para"
  638. [ HINT: You're dead! Find a way out of here to reclone back into the real world. ]
  639. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "not you scrub nobody cares about you"
  640. [tradenet] lordician exclaims, "KISS ME! NO! WAAAAAAH!"
  641. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "how do i get my crown back"
  642. [tradenet] Coinslut has left tradenet.
  643. [tradenet] lordician says, "no"
  644. [tradenet] lordician says, "i'm loved"
  645. [tradenet] lordician says, "by many"
  646. [tradenet] feiri exclaims, "Please don't show me your penis again waaaaaaahhhhh!"
  647. c did they teleport you over the ocean too
  648. [ UAC ]: Paranoium says, "did they teleport you over the ocean too"
  649. [tradenet] lordician says, "you're just jealous of my succession"
  650. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "no i'm in space"
  651. c You are consumed by the searing heat of reentry!
  652. [ UAC ]: Paranoium exclaims, "You are consumed by the searing heat of reentry!"
  653. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "oh yeah that"
  654. [tradenet] Chimaera asks, "Whos bright idea was it to let him back in?"
  655. [ UAC ]: Stabs says, "i got that"
  656. [tradenet] Cornelia says, "it was so small I almost felt bad for you"
  657. [mailnet] (*chat/152 If you live in California) +1
  658. [tradenet] Wizard Cornelia points at lordician and laughs. "Ha-ha!"
  659. [tradenet] lordician says, "lol, i'm very very happy you think of me that way"
  660. [tradenet] lordician asks, "also do you want your fire axes back?"
  661. [tradenet] feiri says, "no Cornelia it's like a corkscrew curl y it's twisty. It looks longer when
  662. you pull on it "
  663. "um
  664. look
  665. limbo (afterworld, outside of time)
  666. What is this place? It's nowhere in particular. You think you're in a big room, or maybe you're
  667. outside...it's so hard to think...
  668. [ Exits: up ]
  669. u
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