Thread 38: Stories 46-60

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>Chitania
"???"
~~~

>Pfft. Thought they said a battle was going on.

She had crawled away from her concession stand for this? Please. This was so pathetic. Where was the brutality? Where was the challenge of blood?...

Where was the guy who sold the little drinks? This salt was making her throat dry.

>I almost regret coming over here.

"PSST! HEY!...HEY! YOU!"

Where the voice had come from, she could not say, but she heard something...

"HEY! LISTEN!"

Ah. There, up above her. Oh, how silly of her to miss the changeling right above her...

Tied to a lamp with golden string...

"Would you, uh, get me down?"

>...How.

"Well, I was hoping scissors of some kind-"

>Not what I meant.

"Ah... well, you see, she was kind of distracted when they went on the launchy part, so I just got so excited and went for it... and it turns out, there was a trap there! A little string in the ground. Soooooo... yeah. Here I am."

>...

"...I was like, this close to her tail, I swear."

>...

"...Please get me down."

>No.

"Oh, okay, totally understand. Being a changeling and all."

>I just think you're an idiot.

"You know what?"

Four seconds of futile struggle later.

"...Fair enough."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Pinkie
"IR"
'CQ'
~~

>Okay, are we far enough along we can discuss this? I feel like we're almost at the end of the game, and I still have no idea what-

"No."

>Oh... okay, uh, are we winning?

'That is not for you to know. Strive to do your best in all things, no matter what placement you are or points you receive. Worry to win, not how hard you should win.'

>Is that... you guys do know the score, right?

"Of course."

'But we are not sharing it.'

"Because of reasons."

>...Did you guys just make a joke?

'...'

"..."

>...Hee hee, it was a little funny.

"Thank you."

'We worked hard on it for you.'

>Awww, love you guys too!... So does this mean you don't think Shiny would be a good husband anymore?

"We shall see."

>Uh, but what about the feud-

'We. Shall. See.'

>...Snapperpoppers.

'Language.'
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Completely non-canon
>Spike
"Twilight"
~~~
"Alright, I've made a new upgrade to Charity!"

>A new one? Does it really need to be any stronger?

"Hey, do you wanna fall behind Diamond Tiara?"

>If she's strong, that's good news for the whole team. Besides, power doesn't come from hardware-

"Just hear me out, Charity's newest upgrade is an adaptive, hyperspace, munition fabricator."

>Which means...

"You can copy the powers of your opponents! Just try it on me!"

>Like... Shoot you?

"Well, no, you don't have to, I mean, try touching your free claw to my horn, hooves, or wings."

>Alright...

YOU GOT: ION ARCANA!

>What the hell?

"Try it!"

Spike points to a conviently placed target and fires

Resulting in a huge laser firing from Charity

>...

"Isn't it great?!"

>You know... Some part of me is somehow even more worried about this... But now I'm curious to see what other powers other people give.

"Applejack already loaned hers earlier."

>Super Buck?

"Yep, she asked me to see if I can't replicate such an effect for apple farming. Still, go ahead, go around and ask! I eagerly await the results!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chitania
"OO7'
~~~

>...Huh.

"Well?"

>Well what?

"Aren't you going to go at that thing? You're, like, the super popcorn obsessed one, aren't you?"

>...That things been rolling on the ground. What the fuck is wrong with you? That's fucking disgusting.

"...Huh."

>If I wanted to eat shit, I'd lick the side of your face.

"..."

>...I'm calling you a piece of-

"Got it."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cheese
“SA”
'Pinkie'
[Marble]
{Limestone}
(Maud)
~IR~
-CQ-
|Velvet|
%Cadence%
+Twilight+
=Nightlight=
^2^
~~~~~~

>AND NOOWWW! The next event picked out from our hat of mystery issss...

“Can I just say I have a problem with this concept of pulling this stuff out of a hat? Most of these don't seem very family oriented, they're just silly-”

>THE BOPPER BATTLE!.... ohhh, I feel bad for you guys.

“He's looking at us. Is this... is this bad? I don't know what...”

|It doesn't matter what comes, we are going to KICK THEIR TINY LITTLE BUTTS AT-|

With a push of a button, two holes opened on either side of Cheese's podium, and two massive wheels with the name of every family member popped up from the ground.

|-...wheelspinning, I guess? We'll be the best... um... wheel spinners ever?|

“...”

|Even I think this is silly.|

>Oh nooo, Misses Velvet! You see, I'm the one who spins the wheel. To determine... WHO IS GONNA GET BOPPED!?

Even through the crowd had no conceivable idea what that could possibly mean, they still cheered.

>Four spins for each side, and whoever it lands on is going to be putting on a pair of these!

From the ceiling, a pair of gigantic, fuzzy mitts descended like the light of heaven unto the world.

>And then they are going to BOP EACH OTHER SILLY!

Understanding finally, the crowd roared.

>First spin, for the pies! We haaaaavvvveeee...

It was a blur of colors as he slammed the wheel so hard it nearly fell off it's holding, before finally coming to a stop quite a while later.

>...OUR VERY OWN PINKAMENA PIE! Come on up here!

'WOO! Let's do this!'

Cheering and bouncing the whole way, she took her place next to the podium and slipped on the helmet and gloves.

>And from the other side, we've gooooottt...

Another spin, this one even harder. So hard, it took almost five minutes just to finally come to a stop.

>...THE ONE AND ONLY PRINCE OF THE EMPIRE, SHIIIIIINING ARMOR!

Resigned to his fate, he decided just to get on stage and get this over with as quickly as possible.

>LETS SPIN AGAIIIIIN!

At this point, several members in the audience were contemplating going and getting concessions.

>...LIMESTONE PIE WOULD YOU COME ON DOWWWWWN!

Pumping her hooves in excitement, she took her place next to her sister.

>And who is going to be joining Shining Armor up on this stage? WELLLL....

The sheer annoyance everyone was feeling at this point burned away and was replaced by shock the instant they saw which name the wheel landed on.

>...Uh...

The name Shining Armor, specifically.

>...Hold up.

From under his podium, he pulled a book so massive it could likely be used to brain Chitania if someone could figure out how to throw it, and began leafing through it.

>...It counts.

“WAIT WHAT!?”

|HOW IS THAT FAIR!? We're down a player!|

>Sorry, it counts.

~Back when it was forged, it was designed to see if the creators hated you or not.~

-Do not blame us.-

^OH NO! WE CAN'T FIND ANOTHER SHINY! THERE'S ONLY ONE, HE'S SPECIAL!^

The whole crowd daaawwwed.

+Don't worry, Shiny! We can still win three versus four! It just has to land on me!+

“I guess..”

+Aww, don't be like that! Come on, there's nothing your little sister can't handle with you there. You know it!+

“You're resilient, I'll give you that.”

'...I miss Dashie...'

>NEXT SPIN!... MISS MARBLE WOULD YOU PLEASE JOIN YOUR SISTERS!

[OH YEAH! Pie sisters REPRESENTING! You're going down whitey!]

“HEY! THAT IS OUR WORD! YOU CAN'T USE THAT WORD!”

>Ponies, please, at least wait until I get someone else up here to discuss the matter with, because GUESS WHO'S JOINING SHINING ARMOR UP HERE!? IT'S....

The whole crowd gasped.

>...Huh.

“Are you kidding me!?”

>Well, Shining Armor, would you please join Shining Armor up here!

“...”

>Little bit of tension breaking humor, sorry....

=Well, I mean, two on four isn't so bad. Even the weakest of us are pretty powerful, we can handle this.=

|Yeah, don't give up hope baby! If it lands on me we'll just CRUSH THEM TO DUST BENEATH OUR MIGHTY WHITEY HOOVES!... or if it lands on Cadence, at least it'll be funny to watch. That'll be fun!|

%HEY!%

“Encouraging.”

>Well, final spin for the family that rocks and rolls! Maybe you'll get lucky and misfortune will come to them this time? Only one way to find out! AAANNNNNNDDDD....

It spun... and spun... and spun... and spun.

>...Put a little too much pepper on that one.

And spun... and spun... and spun...

“Come on already!”

And then it slowly stopped.

“...”

>Oooh, that, uh, that's unlucky.

The corners of Maud's lips curled ever so slightly, and she joined her sisters.

(This'll be fun.)

>ONE MORE SPIN LEFT! Who's going to join the Prince atop this stage and face off against overwhelming odds with him? Is it going to be his wife so beautiful? His sister so brilliant? His mother so driven? Perhaps he'll go with some father daughter head bopping bonding bash? ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT, FOLKS AND HERE! WE! GOOOOOOOOO!

“...Okay, are you up there? I don't know who you are, I don't know what you look like, I don't even know if you are kind and loving or if you are more numb and uncaring to all of this, but please.... please give me Twilight. I know, it sounds weird, but right now I NEED her with me. She is seriously the only one right now that can help me with this. I love my wife, really, but right now I don't need some Cadence loving, I need some Twilight mojo. Twilight's got the moves, the power, and the smarts to use it that my wife just can't match. Please... pleeeease let it be Twilight I have to get bopped with! PLEEAAASSE!”

+Hey, Twilight here, could you put me together with Shiny? It looks like things are going to get rough, and I think he could really use someone like me in this situation. I don't know a ton about bopping, but I feel like we'd learn together, you know? Real deep sibling bonding. So, uh... please?+

|Okay, listen here, I would prefer it if you put my daughter with my son, they're sure to make an amazing team, but barring that let me take over. I may be old, but I have experience, I have a knowledge of how he works, and I've got the drive to prove myself to be just as good as those youngsters over there! LET'S DO THIS HARD! COME ON!|

=I... I don't even know, you know? I don't know. I just wanted a vacation, is that too much to ask? I just wanted to go on a roller coaster, eat some salty foods, and just relax. What the heck happened to my life? I'm supposed to be retired... please let one of the girls handle this, I'm too old to keep up with this stuff anymore. He's young, he can handle them. The time when want to get involved with that many spritely mares is gone, it's gone and I do not regret it. Let my son have this one, and leave me be.=

%Notmenotmenotmenotmenotmenotmenotmedon'twannagetboppedthat'llmessupmyhairandhurtmynosenotmenotmenotmepleasepleasepleeeeeasenotmeeeee!%

^I JUS' WANNA KEEP WATCHIN' IT SPIN! EEEEEEEEE! NEVER STOP!^

It started to slow.

“pleeeeeeeeaaaseeee...”

And very, very, veeeerrryyyyy slowly...

“PLEEEEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSE~!”

It came to a stop.

...On his name.

|+=%.............HUH...........%=+|

^Awww, it stopped spinnin'...^

>That's just statistically unlikely.

“...ARE... YOU.. FFFFFFFUUUUU-”

A bar of soap rocketed in from nowhere.

It did not stop him.

“-UUUUFHING KIFFUH MUH!?”

-Husband? Perhaps we were too quick on the matter based on his spine, the creators clearly hate him.-

~I do not know what he did to anger them so, but it must have been the likes of which that give even me pause.~

>Soooo... looks like for the Pie team, we have the four sisters who bring the twisters of bopping banes! And on the other team, uh...

“...”

Marble, Limestone and Pinkie just gave a malicious smile, and bopped their fuzzy fists together.

>...I am so sorry.

Maud... smiled.

(I think this is going to be fun.)
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cheese
“SA”
'IR'
[Marble]
{Limestone}
(Maud)
~Pinkie~
-CQ-
|Velvet|
%Cadence%
+Twilight+
=Nightlight=
^2^
§???§
~~~~

“This is so much... bad words. There are bad words in my heart and I cannot let them out.”

>Sorry buddy, rules of the game!

His grousing continued as he stepped into the ring, a massive circle with several tall, padded mounds sticking up in seemingly random locations. Every mound was comprised of a stack of mattresses, looking like a massive sandwich comprised of soft fabric, and each had a rope, or stack of stairs, leading to it's top, a top which was high enough to allow them to peer over the tall, cushioned walls surrounding them.

>And speaking of, it's time to lay them all down! The object of the game is simple, bop your opponent off their hooves! If you fall and hit the ground, you are OUT! But there's a catch! You can only, I need to stress this, ONLY hit your opponent with your boppers! Hit them with any uncovered part of your body? AND YOU ARE OUT OF HERE! Aside from that, have fun!

“Why do I get the feeling this used to be way more violent?”

(Because you are thinking worst case scenario due to past events. In reality, this event is most recent, only the last two hundred years, and was always intended to be this way. Hardship on a farm was bad enough, the thought of potentially seriously injuring multiple of it's workers for a contest was insane in those time. If this were to be violent, it would have been reduced in members so as not to possibly jeopardize harvest season.)

“...Makes sense.”

(I hope so.)

[ENOUGH TALK!]

The pair of Marble and Limestone hopped down into the ring, bumping their covered hooves together.

{You are SO going down.}

[You may be pretty big where you're from, but we're the PIE Family, buddy! You don't know strong!]

'YEPPER!'

Light as a feather, she hopped down between them.

'I'm going to have to bake Twilight a sorry cake, because I'm going to make her big brother feel it!'

[Pinkie, really, the weddings got to at the very least be postponed.]

'NOT NOW! NOT! NOW!'

>SO! ARE WE READY TO... wait, hold on, still got one more.

And of course, there she was. Slowly, very slowly, trotting into the ring.

[...Can she go a little faster?]

{You know she only has two speeds. That, and standing still.}

'RIGHT HERE, MAUD!'

Slowly... slooooowwwwlly...

>Can we hurry it up a bit?

[Don't tell my sister to hurry up!]

{YEAH!}

>Eep! Sorry...

Eventually, she arrived.

(This will be fun.)

'...Oh shoot, she's smiling.'

[Slightly, but yeah. He's doomed.]

{Well then...}

She smacked her hooves together, a feral grin on her face.

{I better just get ahead of her.}

%Two, uh... you might not want to look.%

^But I wanna see Shiny beat 'em!^

|Listen to your mother.|

^But grandma-^

|TRUST ME!... Sweetie? His odds?|

+I once saw Maud punch through a several times bigger than she was. And they all lift rocks for a living.+

|...YOU CAN DO IT, BABY!|

=...=

|I'M AN OPTIMIST!|

>Alllllright bobby booby bumpers! YOU GUYS READY TO SOCK'EM RIGHT WHERE HE'LL FEEL IT!?

“I feel like you're saying that more to them than me, and this worries me.”

>ON YOUR MARK!

All four lined up, standing opposite of the now very worried Shining Armor.

>GET SET!

All except for Maud crouched low, waggling their tails in anxiousness.

[We knock him down in under a minute, we all get triple dessert.]

{You're on!}

'I'll drink your milkshake! I'LL DRINK IT UP!'

Staring down the inevitable, Shining Armor just sighed.

“Go on vacation, I said. We need some time off, I said. It'll be fun, I said...”

>EVERYBODY BOP!

Quick as lightning, the two more drab colored mares scooped up their bright pink sibling, balancing her on their bopping gloves, and with perfect synchronization sent her flying. So taken off guard, Shining had no chance to react before he took a soft, squishy punch glove to the face. Four seconds in, and he was already almost out of the game.

But he held his ground, managing to keep his footing and shake off the dizzy spins caused by such a blow and retaliate, swinging right for the now prone mare who had attacked him. She dodged effortlessly, uppercutting him right in the chin and raining a succession of blows to his face before nimbly hopping out of his retaliatory range.

He was given no chance to chase her down before something else slammed right into his side. The nature of the glove thankfully reduced most of the attack, but not enough he wasn't nearly ripped off his hooves once more. Marble rolled after landing the hit, effortlessly coming to a stop on his other side and striking him right in the face.

At last, he could fight back. The shot had slowed her down just enough and brought her just close enough he could swing back and bop her right in the nose, nearly sending her stumbling off her hooves. But sadly, this one blow is all he could land before Limestone took hold of his attention with a punch right to his hind legs. Any reprisal to her was likewise met with strikes from Pinkie, and so on whenever he tried to get his bearings in the tornado of grey and pink. It seemed like they were coming from every direction at once, and he just barely managed to steel himself against it and stand his ground. He was used to facing an all powerful super strong attack, it's true. But from every angle like this... this was something training with 42 could not have prepared him for. And he felt it, oh, he felt it.

+He's getting creamed out there!+

|Come on baby, you can do it! YOU CAN DO IT!|

%So does anyone else notice that one isn't in the fray? That's worrying me.%

+Kind of distracted by my BROTHER BEING BOPPED SO HARD HE WON'T SEE STRAIGHT FOR A WEEK!+

%I'm just saying, it's weird. She's strong, right?%

=NOT THE TIME!=

%Alright, eeeshhh.. Go Shiny?%

^I WANNA SEE IT!^

-Our daughters work well together.-

~Mmm, I'm very proud. I worried they had lost touch in the time apart.~

-I never did. Our family, no matter how far apart, shall forever be strong.-

~I suppose you're right.~

-...He has not fallen yet.-

~That, my wife, concerns me. They are strong. Very strong.~

-So... how strong is he?-

Within the frequent attacks and brief flashes of pain, Shining Armor could not answer that. He was forced back, further and further, until his tail touched the wall that surrounded the ring. Backing into a corner gave him no better vantage to strike back, they could just as easily move from his sides with little difficulty. He could not strike back, not yet. All he could do is wait. Wait for just the briefest of moments to finally attack, for just that one brief-

[Are you even trying?]

“AH HAH!”

He poured everything he had right into the smug, almost amused face that melted into shock at his sudden and violent revenge. She went straight up, just long enough he could hook his own glove underneath her, and chuck her as hard as he could into the wall behind him. The wall collapsed under the pressure, skidding slightly away from the ring it surrounded. She was upright, not having fallen, but it did not matter.

“ONE DOWN!'

Wide, confused eyes stared back at him, and then she re-entered the ring.

[What are you talking about?]

“The... you went outside the ring!”

[Annnd?]

“...Ring outs don't count?”

A massive book hit podium, and pages started flipping.

>They do not! You can leave the ring at any time you like. It's just a general barrier.

“...TWILIGHT!”

+Yeah, Shiny?+

“GRAB THAT BOOK AND GET TWI-ISH UP IN HERE!”

It flung across the room telekinetically, open in a second.

+...Oh! Hey! I could have won that one-+

"BAD TIME!”

+Right!... this is pretty long, Shiny...+

Seeing no other option, he resumed fighting back against the trio, flailing uselessly as they all jumped out of reach.

'Well, we can't let him figure out an edge!'

[Right, we're going to have to end this now!]

{All together, girls!}

The three pressed their sides together, mashing so closely their colors almost blended into the other.

'Time for the.-'

[-Super-]

{-Sister-}

'[{ROCK SMASHING TWISTER!}]'

And then time slowed down as they altogether sprung into the air. Shining Armor could only watch as they veeeery slowly began to twist in the air, only just able to comprehend their speed was somewhat above 'insane' levels with time as it was. Gradually, a light began to overtake his eyes. He could feel the end coming as all turned to white.

§Shining Armor...§

A voice, heavenly in pitch and tone, filled his ears.

§Are you really going to let it end like this?§

“Who...”

§Well, don't. I've got fifteen bits riding on this.§

“...Huh... either I have a concussion or my brain has a gambling problem...”

§Sure, let's go with that.§

“Any inspiring words?”

§Don't do the shield thing, it's not going to work. Obviously. Do the opposite.§

“Thanks, brain!”

§Are you still talking? Stop it. Now.§

The slightly irate sounding voice could be heard no longer, and the world as a whole focused once more. Just in time for him too see a hurricane of pain swirling through the air, and aiming right at his nose.

And yet... he felt no fear. For in this moment so long, this slice of time carved from the pie of the universe, he could see it. The center of all things, the core of the world, the nucleus that held everything together, the midpoint of time and space. The... 'middle', as it were. And here, he understood at last what it meant to no longer be as that of a shield.

His hooves were as light as air, and he was as unto an arrow, gloves pointed forward and body straight. The trio had no time at all to respond before his hoof found their center, where all three of their combined gloves met. Like an axe splitting down through a log of wood, he broke them apart in three, taking them completely off balance and spiraling them out of control. Shining Armor landed on steady hooves as soon as they passed, but of the three...

One had to be the one on the bottom, with her back to the floor.

The mare of light grey knew... it had to be her.

And with a thump, two landed on their hooves as steady as they ever were.

And one fell down.

[...L-Limestone... LIMESTONE!?]

Stricken, the darker mare cradled her sister in her forelegs.

[LIMESTONE! NO! No, it should have been me! It should have been MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! LIMESTOOOOOONE!]

Unable to hold back her choked sob, Pinkie could no longer look to her.

{...You know, I'm just out of the game, I'm not actually-}

[YOU!]

A furious, shaking hoof pointed at Shining Armor, stealing the elation he had held not a moment ago like a thief in the night.

[Y-YOOOOU!]

She uncaringly chucked her sister aside, ignoring the screams of indignation as she flew through the air.

[You took my sister from me...]

“Well, actually, I only took her out of the game, she's right there-”

[NOW I SHALL TAKE YOUR LIFE FROM YOU!]

“...Kind of harsh-”

She was upon him in seconds, a flurry of blows so powerful they could have shattered stone was suddenly thrust to him, leaving him struggling to block the wave of attacks. Thankfully, this was more his speed, more what he had trained against and was used to.

At least until he got a flying spin-punch to the side of the head.

Landing on the opposite side of him as her sister, Pinkie was back in the game. A pink and grey hoof suddenly decided to take turns knocking his head back and forth between them, bobbing him so fast his face became a blur.

His two hooves shot up in a double uppercut, only to miss them entirely as they hopped back before rocketing forward and sending his head spinning with a double flying punch. The stars in his vision felt like they would never leave. He stumbled back until his flank hit one of those mounds of mattresses shaped like a hill, and tried to catch his breath.

“H-heeeyyyy, Twi?”

+I'M LOOKING AS FAST AS I CAN!+

“Quick question, doesh I have ta' be the one who gets her to the floor?”

+No, so long as she goes down you win!+

“Great, cool, yeah...”

[Pfft, oh, what, are you going to phone a friend?]

Through ache covering his face, he managed a smile.

“Shomeshing like shat...”

'Marble, hold up, I think he's-'

[He's bluffing is what he is! BRING IT!]

And with that, she charged once more, flying through the air right at him and raining blows upon him within seconds. As she said, he seemed to be full of it, only managing to stumble further and further back, barely even fighting anymore. She was sure she had him...

And that's when he finally gave up the act and smiled in full. Before grabbing hold of the dangling rope and leaping up, of course. She had no time to register before he was sailing over her, rope going taut in his mouth. As he expected, she watched him, and only him.

And not the mound of mattresses he was pulling down behind her.

'MARBLE LOOK OUT!'

But it was too late. She could only gasp in horror an instant before it all fell on her head, and covered her from tailtip to snout.

Her hoof jutted upward from the pile in defiance. She bravely tried to hold herself up underneath the pressure, knees wobbling as she struggled to get out... but it proved too much. With a soft whump, she hit the ground, and the pile was still.

>AND SHE IS OUT! TWO DOWN, CAN HE KEEP IT UP!?

Rubbing his face long enough to return feeling to it, at last he could speak normally again.

“Any chance you want to forfeit? Please?”

Pinkie did not answer as she stared at the pile and her sisters glove covered hoof still poking out, pointed towards the sky.

'Noperino.'

The cheery word was offset by a chilling tone.

And in a second, she was upon him.

He thought that, at last, a one on one fight would grant him some leeway. This is what he had trained for the most, this is what he was most used to, this is what he understood. He got punching, he got tanking rounds, he got all of that. What he did not get, however, was trying to punch what was apparently a living band of chewed up bubblegum.

Everytime he thought he had her, she wiggled out of the way. Every time he thought he could land a blow, she shifted like she was made of water. Every time he thought he had gotten a single solid hit, it all but bounced off her. But not her strikes, oh no, those landed. All of those landed...

She danced around him, a technique he was wholly unfamiliar with, peppering him with light shots here and there. She was nowhere near as strong as her sisters, but she made up for it with speed and agility. She all but bounced on his head as she hopped to and fro with that same speed, nothing but a streak of cover and flash of pain.

But she was not all powerful, it seemed. She hopped back, limbering up as she caught her breath from the freakishly fast assault. He had weathered that rain, but the storm was far from over.

'Gonna bop you so hard your momma's gonna feel it! Your teeth will smell like rubber when I'm done! I WILL AVENGE MY SISTERS WITH BOPPING POPPING FURY!'

“...Twi?”

+Right here, Shiny!+

“No hitting her with any part of my body that isn't covered in a bopper, right?”

+Right, Shiny! It has to be the covered part!+

'NOT FALLIN' FOR THAT AGAIN!'

Back she was, hitting him so hard in the chest and chin he swore he was going to walk away from this with that things logo tattooed on his face. He couldn't match her speed. All he could do....

Was push her back and run like hell.

'HEY! GET BACK HERE!'

She tore off after him, taking potshots at his exposed backside whenever she got in close. It was almost comical, watching him race away in fear with the much smaller mare beating at his retreating tail.

~I am disappointed~

-Hm, thought he would at least last until Maud before running like a filly.-

~Pity.~

'SHINY GET BACK HERE YOU NO GOOD SISTER BEATING SCAREDY SHAKING NONFUNBOPPERGUY! I'M TIRED OF LOOKING AT YOUR FLANKS BUT I CAN TELL YOU WORK OUT AND NEED TO COMPLIMENT THIS!'

He paid her no mind, racing over the fallen mound that had trapped her sister, head dipped low as if in shame.

'I SAID YOU BRING NICE LOOKING BOOTY BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND YOU FIGHT ME! YOU STOP RUNNING RIGHT NOW! STOOOOO-'

“Okay!”

Without warning, he did as she said, coming to a sudden, and abrupt, stop.

His hooves swung out faster than she could register, both of his glove covered ones smashing down hard onto her own bopper covered appendages, pinning them down to the floor. No matter how she struggled, she could not move.

Confusion overtook her as she wondered what he could do. If he let one up, she'd give him the what for a million times over before it even registered. If he held her down, then she just had to outlast him. It was a stalemate...

At least, that's what she thought, until she noticed the bopper on his head, held there by his horn.

And the lack of bopper on her trapped sisters hoof.

'...Ah.'

With an almost apologetic look, he reared back.

SQUEAK!

….

SQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAKSQUEAK!

His head rocked back and forth like a demented drinking bird toy hopped up on some kind of drug, ramming his covered head into hers over, and over, and over.

Her limbs twitched, they wobbled, they shook...

And then they all fell down.

>OOOOH! AND DOWN! SHE! GOOOOES! EVEN THE PINK WONDER JUST CANNOT BRING HIM DOWN!

“T-...thaaaat's for you, 42....”

Though his double vision and spinning head, he managed to hoofpump out somewhere into the crowd where he hoped was at least in her general vicinity. Not that he could tell, of course. They all looked like ants to him. Blurry, watery ants.

'Ouchies...'

>CAN HE LAST FOR JUST! ONE! MOOOORE!?

Terror gripped his heart as he tiredly looked over to the approaching pony. She was calm, slow, methodical... and she had a smile on her face.

[You're in for it nooowwww.]

The muffled voice was so smug he swore this mare was in some way related to Chrysalis.

'Yeppers! She's the strongest out of all of us!'

{And you look like you're on your last legs.]

'Not that you would've stood a chance at full strength, just saying!'

“...Can we talk about this?”

But Maud gave no answer, no acknowledgment, nothing at all but that ever so slight smile on her face. Nearly imperceptible, but it was there.

[Get ready to know what teeth taste like, buddy.]

She slowly reached the base of the fallen pile, and started to walk right to him. As slow as a machine of death, as cold as the icy stone she so resembles, and as fearless as a tiger against an ant. Without knowing a single thing about this mare, Shiny knew he was in for the harshest battle of his life. Nothing could stop this clash that would bring him such pain.

(ah.)

Nothing... except the mattress she stepped upon sliding back clear off the pile due to having no grip, and taking Maud's hooves out from under her. She landed softly on her side, her eyes ever so slightly wide in surprise. So taken off guard, she could do nothing but lay there.

As if death had consumed them the crowd, the families, even the normally so vocal Cheese Sandwich all went silent.

^...What happened!? I CAN'T SEE! DID SOMETHIN' HAPPEN?^

[YEAH! WHAT!? EVERYONE WENT QUIET! IS HE DEAD!? DID SHE KILL HIM!? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE!?]

This seemed to be the ice breaker that finally shattered it all.

(...Heh.)

Jaws from all sides hit the floor as she got up, that smile still on her face.

(I guess you win...)

She looked right into the gobsmacked and completely befuddled stallion's eyes.

(That was fun.)

Without another word, she trotted off.

'...Huh...'

This, at last seemed to snap a certain earth pony out of his daze.

>Uh... OH! AND UH, IT LOOKS LIKE SHINING ARMOR HAS WON THE MATCH! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! CAN YOU?...really... I MEAN, UH, WOW! CONGRATS BUDDY!

“Yaaayyyy....”

|WOOOO! THAT'S MY BABY! THAT'S MY BABY BOY! I CHANGED THOSE DIAPERS! THAT CAME FROM ME! MEEEEEE! WOOOO!|

%OH YEAH! THAT'S MY HUSBAND! THAT'S MYYY SHINY MEAT! OH YEAH! UNF!%

+Way to go Shiny!... Sorry, Pinkie! Don't be mad at him!+

'No hard feelings!'

+Good to hear!+

=ATTA BOY SON! KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE.... uh... handle a fight. Right. A fight. Had nothing to do with the genders of your opponents nor the number of them. Yep. Yep yep yep. Just the fight.=

^OHYMIGOSHSHINYWONSHINYWONYAAAYYYY!^

[WAIT WHAT!? THE HECK DID THAT HAPPEN!?]

-Interesting.-

~Very, and also a little disheartening. I thought they could take him easily... but it might not be over yet...~

Cheese hopped down, trotting over to Shining Armor and tossing a foreleg over his shoulders.

>Well, Shiny, looks like you're almost in the clear. You took a huge lead with this. But now you've got two choices, and they're hard ones.

Through weary, sweat cakes eyes, his gaze bore into the earth pony.

>Do you want to finish the rest of the competition, finish up the remaining dozen games and hope your headstart was enough, or do you want to see this end right now-

“NOW!”

>... I didn't tell you what it was-

“NOW NOW NOW! I DON'T CARE WHAT I HAVE TO DO, I DON'T CARE WHAT IT IS, END! IT! NOW!”

>...OKAY FOLKS! YOU HEARD HIM! THE BOPPER CHALLENGE ROUND TWO COMMENCES!

“...What...”

>SPIN THAT WHEEL ONE MORE TIME!

As if the hand of a specter controlled it, the wheel began to spin.

“...W-whaaaat....”

>For those of you at home who are just tuning in, Shining Armor has just gone full battle round two! Which means that he will have to face someone else in the bopper bash battle, and if he wins he steals ALL! THEIR! POINTS! But if he loses, UH OH! NO MORE POINTS! It's all on the line with Shining Armor versuuuuuuussssss...

The wheel slowed...and slowed... and....

“...Awww....fffffuuuuuuuu-”

>Family show.

“uuuuuuuplllplplplplplp...”

>Good enough.

There was the sound of something hitting the mat hard beneath him, as if a meteor had hit the ground. The wispy smell of death seemed to seep into his nose, and with great trepidation he finally turned his head back.

~It's you and me now, youngster.~

Igneous put on his gloves, and stamped so hard on the ground the stadium shook.

~And I don't pull punches.~

“...”

>...OH! Seems I misread this, you only had two games left. Isn't that funny? That's not a one, that's a line! Silly Cheese! Silly silly....

The hate could melt steel.

~Leave.~

>RIGHT-O-ROONY!

He scampered back up to his podium, taking his place and getting ready to hit the gong to start it all.

>LETS GET PROPPED! IT'S ABOUT TO GET BOPPED!

He didn't know how.

He didn't even know why.

But somehow... Shining Armor could feel the pain through time.

“This vacation sucks.”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Vekir
"42"

>Ahahahahaha, oh this is many laughs. The brother of the Twience Princess is a barreled monkey!

"On the one hoof, this mocks everything I love about combat...on the other that was a very nice move with the head glove."

>What is the...what's it called, context, Punchbug the Helmeted? True in fights it is wise to beat foes about the head with hooves but there is no biting, no slamming of bodies, no whipping of tail hairs in eyes!

"I believe this is supposed to be a parody of boxing."

>What is boxing?

"It's a fight where only the use of your hooves is allowed."

>Ah...sounds like boring.

42 shrugs.

"Yeah, I guess after you've had filet mignon a burger doesn't sound as delicious."

>...I know neither of these things.

"I've suplexed a dragon so hard I broke his neck, the so-called sweet science is pretty boring after that."

>Oh, now I get it! Yes, there was much more fun to be had with the matrons rolling around like pups.

"Eh, could have been better."

>Yes, it would have been better to see the brother of the Twience Princess doing such deeds.

"...uh, right...because he's had more recent experience."

>Yes, muchly more muscular too, like my brother-by-mate. Ooh, I am imaging him in my head now! Muscles bulging...

"Uh..."

>...swift even in the slimy sticky but probably yummy goo...

"Vekir..."

>Holding some inferior male above his head...

"..."

>...green goo sliding down victorious male body, yes, Pink Princess of Incompetence is a lucky lucky...Helmeted Punchbug are you ok?

"..."

>Helmeted Punchbuuuug?

"L-lewd..."

>EEK! BLOOD EVERYWHERE!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
'42'
[18]
{Maney}
-Poindexter-
~~~~

>..
"..."
'...'
[...]
{AHHHAHHAHAHAHA! WHAT A GLOOOORIOUS BATTLE WE GOT TO WITNESS HERE-}

>Maney, plug your ears.

{AHAH... what?}

>NOW!

{Oh... okay!}

>...She plugged?

"She's plugged."

>Good....UNF!

"Right?"

'Knew he could handle three mares at once!'

[...]

>...Her brain is just gone, isn't it?

[...........u-unf......]

"Nope, guess there's something there."

-Is anyone not turned on right now?-

>"'[...]"'

-...Just checking.-

>Cleanup in isle UNF!

"You know, he still has to fight that one."

>...I'm gonna need some paper towels.

'Make sure you bring enough for the class.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
'18
{Maney}
-Poindexter-
~~~~

>..
"..."
'...'
[...]
{AHHHAHHAHAHAHA! WHAT A GLOOOORIOUS BATTLE WE GOT TO WITNESS HERE-}

>Maney, plug your ears.

{AHAH... what?}

>NOW!

{Oh... okay!}

>...She plugged?

"She's plugged."

>Good....UNF!

"Right?"

'Knew he could handle three mares at once!'

>You are not making this more sexy for me, it's just not possible.

-Is anyone not turned on right now?-

>"'..."'

-...Just checking.-

>Cleanup in isle UNF!

"You know, he still has to fight that one."

>...I'm gonna need some paper towels.

'Make sure you bring enough for the class.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Rarity"
'Spike'
[Dash]
{Futtershy}
~Arana~
~~~~

>Well hooo doggy! Heck of a show, gotta give 'em that much!

"Oh, I do hope Pinkie isn't too sore."

'Shining Armor is the one about to be sore. That guy looks strong, real strong.'

[HEH! But it'll be great to watch him get his tail pushed in, eh?]

{Oh, I didn't know this was going to be so violent.}

[...What? They're hitting each other with bopping gloves. It's like getting punched with a marshmallow.]

~You sure? He looked like he couldn't see straight for most of this.~

[It's probably not that bad.]

{...}

[...I mean, probably. And hey, if he dies, Spike moves up on the 'favorite brother' thing! Win win!]

'That... does not sound like a win to me.'

[No vision.]

>Well, iffin' he's anythin' like Pinkie said, Shinin's out o' his league here. He's done for.

"Well, it'll be fun to watch regardless."

~Yeah!~

'...'

~What?~

'Keep expecting you to say something horrible.'

~Huh? What do you mean? Momma never did anything like that.~

'Oh, phew-'

~She just picked up big rocks and-~

'GOT IT!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Luna
"56"
'Dadling'
[Batmom]
~~~

>WHAT CONFUSION IS THIS!? Do we really amuse ourselves in this day and age by hitting ourselves with toys!? What has this world come to!?

"I thought it was fun."

'Yeah, totally fun.'

[I am with her majesty!]

>...

[...Regardless of how fun it looked!]

>...Okay, fine, we are sure there is a little merriment to be had, but still! It is so silly!

"Uh..."

>Right right, realized it as soon as I said it.

"...Say the thing."

>Wha-NO!

"Come oooon, say the thing!"

'Thing?'

"She's gotta say the thing!"

>WE WILL NOT!

[If her majesty does not wish to say the thing, she will not say the thing!]

"But I wanna hear the thing!"

>WE WILL NOT SAY THE THING!

"PLLLEEEEEASE!?"

>......FINE!.... The rounds have been doubled!

"EEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

'I GOT TO HEAR THE THING!'

[Thank you for your grace, Majesty.]

>...We feel as though we are a one trick pony sometimes...
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>JJ
"Actarius"
~~~~

>Soooo... is it just me, or are you now way, way more interested in the fight now that it's those two fighting.

"Hm?... Huh, you know, I am! Weird, right?"

>Is it?

"Uhhh... you know it's probably a psychological thing. Being in the guard, I'm used to see guys pound each other on a daily basis, not so much mares. Mares make the thing different to me, I guess.

>Oh yeah, no, I totally get it. What with the no girls thing, I'm totally used to seeing guys... or girls who look like guys... hammer into each other for fun. One on one too."

"Yeah, most times it's just two of them, like this! This is more what I'm used to seeing. Especially with that guy being older. Can't tell you how many times I've seen a drill Sargent and a new recruit go at it. Wonder if experience still trumps youth?"

>I hope not! I want to see that white guy give it his all.

"Heh. He is pretty capable."

>Yeah...

"..."

>...This all makes more sense now.

"Yeah, totally."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Cheese
“SA”
'IR'
[Marble]
{Limestone}
(Maud)
~Pinkie~
-CQ-
|Velvet|
%Cadence%
+Twilight+
=Nightlight=
^2^
§???§
~~~~

“I'm not supposing you're in the mood to discuss this?”

The patron of the Pie clan responded by idly swinging his hoof at another one of the stacks, exploding it outward like it was hit by a tank shell.

“Because really, I feel like we're not setting a good example with all the violence. Yow know? Trying to teach Two that there's more ways to deal with someone than a huge battle.”

'...'

“Right... right... Dad? You want to tag in? Can we do that? Is that a thing?”

>Sure! If he wants. Dads can tag in for final rounds.

His father just got a little shifty eyed.

=I uh... I hurt my back. It's why I stayed out of the more physical ones.=

“...Seriously.”

|SERIOUSLY!?|

=Why are you yelling? You did it.=

|WHEN DID I... oohhhhh... really?|

=Why did you think I could barely stand yesterday?=

|Huh... sorry, Shiny! I was a little rough in the tub andwhoahohoho, forgot Two was there.|

“...repressing...”

>Well, with that aside, ARE YOU READY!?

“Not remotely.”

>THEN PUT DOWN THAT STROP, IT'S TIIIIIME TO BOP!

“...Oh, strop, I get it, because sharpen-”

The gong was the last sound he heard before the brown figure charged. Like he was faced by a maddened bull, Shining only had the briefest of moments to get out of the way before he barreled past, smashing through the wall beyond. It slowed him down about on par with a cracker slowing down a bowling ball.

Padded walls were tossed carelessly aside as he turned back around, momentum still up and causing devastation in his wake. Shining was forced to dodge the tossed chunks of wall every bit as much as he was forced to dodge the racing earth pony. He may not be as fast as his daughters were, but from every shake of the stadium Shining knew that he was likely strong enough even one shot would have been too much.

'Child.'

A fact he got to find out first hand when the aged father suddenly stopped and punched a chunk of wall right at him. Dodging that was easy, dodging said brown pony suddenly being right in front of him with a stern frown on his face and pain in his eyes? Not so much. It was barely even a graze, and yet Shining Armor felt his hooves suddenly have at least 100 percent less earth beneath him and 400 percent more flying speed than he had before.

He was rocketed clear out of the ring, painfully coming to a stop when he collided with the mini roller coaster suspended from the air. He chased those damn floating birds from his vision with a quick shake of his head. Juuust in time to notice his opponent had recovered from the daunting task of punching him really hard and was all for more punching.

“...Screw this.”

Deciding he needed a breather and that putting some distance between them was a good idea, he raced to a new destination. Atop the tracks was his salvation, a roller coaster cart still perched and ready to ride. Taking care to remain standing as he hopped inside, he gave it a quick push and left his opponent in the dust.

“HAH!”

Igneous furrowed his brow, just a bit.

Finally he grunted.

~...Oh gum bubbles, he's angry.~

-He is.-

A glove covered hoof reached up... and took off his hat.

[OH SHI-UMF]

{RUN WHITEBOY RUUUUNN!}

Shining's smile slowly faded as the screams reached his ears.

“Ahhhhh... crud.”

Two powerful hooves grabbed hold of the roller coaster tracks, hooking right into the metal.

And then he whipped it like it was a dirty rug.

“...eep.”

Watching that bend ripple towards him sucked the life away. Almost as bad as having to watch himself fly through the air at breakneck speed. If he had not managed to land on one of the raised platforms containing the goo pit, he would likely have been done. As it stood, he managed to stay upright, even as he was covered in some of the goo.

“Because of cour-ACK!'

Metal groaned beneath him as the platform wavered, and to his horror he saw Igneous at it's base, his hooves wrapped around the support structure. With a grunt, he bent the thing like it was string cheese, ramming it into another platform beside it. Shining just barely managed to hop to another in time as metal and bits of plastic rained down everywhere.

~HEY! DADDY! THOSE AREN'T CHEAP!~

Nowhere to go, Shining was on the last one, the platform containing the 'match the letters' game... this one was freaking boring.

+SHINY!+

His sisters voice was as if it were an angel.

“Please give me good news!”

+Okay, it says you can't use your magic to telekinetically grab stuff, you can't use your magic to teleport, you can't use elemental attacks, no time travel, no summoning outside help and no using your magic for mind control!+

“....Aaaand?”

+Oh! And you can't use your magic to shield yourself from him! If you use a shield to block him, you're out!+

“...”

+...Everything else is fair game, though!+

“...Great, marvelous. What else is that?”

+Uh... huh. This seems biased towards earth ponies, I'm noticing.+

“Imagine that.”

+...I am writing a letter.+

“You do that.”

And that's when he heard the all too familiar sound of metal groaning.

“Don't you think this is a little much!?”

But he gave no quarter, breaking the new platform Shining Armor stood upon just like the others.

'It is never enough for my family.'

Down Shining fell, no longer able to look to any other game nor trick to stop him from what was sure to be a hard, painful, leg breaking fall.

BLOOP!

'…'

From his balancing position atop the shield he had formed, the stallion just shrugged.

“...Hey, it said I couldn't block you, it didn't say I couldn't use it to stop a fall.”

'...Fair enough, but only because you landed on it with all four hooves. Technically, if it had only hit three, or hit your stomach, you would be out.'

“...Twi?”

+HE'S RIGHT!+

“Ah.”

'It is to keep a unicorn from putting a shield to his belly and keeping himself upright.'

“I see the logic.”

'Good. Now...'

He shot forward, and Shining was only able to block a part of the attack. But it was not the last. Again and again the blows rained upon him in a maelstrom of pain, each one feeling like someone had taped a boxing glove to the end of a train. Maybe if he wasn't so dog tired, he could fight back effectively. But like this...

'Do you know what family is?'

The strange, totally out of nowhere comment was only the second most unexpected thing to hit him there. The first was the uppercut that launched him clear onto the center stage, right where all of the other contestants watched with frozen breath. He only barely landed on his hooves, and was given no respite before Igneous joined him on that stage, gesturing to those behind him.

'Family is one of the most important things in your life, son. Perhaps the most. Family is there to lift you when you stumble. Family is there to cheer you when you feel sadness. Family... is in the very blood in your veins. Family is life.'

His frown deepened.

'But they are not here to coddle you, child. They are not here to serve your every whim. You, alone, must be the one who stands tallest. To show them just how high they can go. You look to them, when you should be looking to your own strength.'

The ringing in his head was loud, like the gong was being struck over and over again. His breath was coming out in ragged, uneven gasps. His eyes blurry and unfocused.

But he was smiling.

“Heh... you're wrong there. Kind of hard to believe a guy like you could be this wrong.”

His frown only became harder, but Shining's smile only grew wider.

“Cause you see, thing I found out? Families not in here, it's not in the blood. Blood is just the stuff that runs through your heart, it passes in and out and goes on it's way. Family? Family can't be blood... it lives there, and nothing can ever pull it out. Not without tearing out chunks of your heart in the process. Family goes beyond the physical. But you're right about one thing...”

Having enough of this backtalk, Igneous swung his hoof back, and prepared to end this.

“Family is life.”

He swung forward... and stopped.

Not of his own choosing, of course. No, his blow was stopped by the floating object between his hoof and the smiling face of the youngster.

'...That is against the rules.'

“Is it now? I don't think it is.”

A sudden strike across his cheek cut off Igneous reply, and he was forced to backpeddle to avoid being struck again.

“Because you see, the rules say I can't hit you with my magic, I can't use levitation and chuck it at you, and I can't hit you with any part of my body that isn't covered in one of these gloves.”

A tiny, warm light emitted from his horn, and above his head a sphere no bigger than an orange formed. The sphere darted away, searching for something...

And then slipping inside of the bopping glove that still hung from the rack. One of what would have been the pairs going to his side. Magically, it floated up, held not by telekinesis, but by a ghostly hoof. It joined the two that had already attacked him, ready and waiting to go again.

“Well, it looks like I'm not hitting you with an uncovered part, I'm hitting you with the bopper. And hey, not levitation either.”

More and more of them floated out, sparks of light raining from his horn like a fountain of magic, flying out and sinking into every glove it could find. They came to him, surrounding him on ever side. All right there, ready to stand with him, all right there... pointed right at Igneous Rock.

'...Clever.'

“You want to know what family is?”

The white stallion shook off the pain, and the fatigue, and he stood tall once more.

“It looks a little something like this.”

The first blow was fast, quick, almost too fast too even comprehend. His iron stance was useless against it. Shoving him clear back into the goo tank, and shattering it behind him.

^THAT'S FER' HITTING SHINY WHEN HE WANTED TA' BE YER FRIEND!^

Baffled, Igneous looked around frantically. He had heard that, he was sure he had heard that! It sounded like it was not an inch from his face. But... his daughter over there, with the rest of his family. She was yelling, but he couldn't hear her clearly. What...

Another attack knocked him out of his thinking, and into the bouncer obstacle course.

+EAT SOME LSBFF FURY!+

There it was again! How...

He could just barely see another one shoot forward in time, and desperately tried to fight back with a massively powerful swing. It ducked right under him and knocked him square on the chin, and nearly forced him into the crowd.

=COME ON, YOU REALLY THINK I HAVEN'T SEEN THAT TRICK BEFORE?=

Another, this one to his eye, thankfully bringing him back onto the stage.

|THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR HURTING MY BABY!|

And, finally, one last projectile slammed into his nose, and nearly knocked him off his legs.

%TASTE LOVE POWER!%

He managed to hold his ground, just barely, as they all returned to Shining Armor's side.

“Done?”

Igneous looked around at the devastation they had caused. Every game, destroyed. Every event, smashed. Everything that was once bright and colorful... broken. All that was left was the podium, and the two counters the families stood upon. All of his family were scared, worried, wondering if he was going to end it here. It would have brought many to question their actions.

For Igneous... he simply got up, trotted past Shining Armor towards the stage...

And put his back to the podium, and his family.

“Uh...”

'I am sorry... I did not want to accidentally point this in their direction.'

Behind him, bespectacled eyes went wide.

-Husband, no!-

~DADDY!? DADDY YOU AREN'T THINKING WHAT I THINK YOU THINK YOU'RE THINKING IN YOUR THINKY THINKER ARE YOU!?~

[Dad whoa! WHOA NOW! BAD DADDY!]

{Whelp. He's dead... dang it, he was hot...}

(...mmm...)

Suddenly, Shining Armor felt a lot more worried.

'This is the technique my father used only once.'

All four hooves dug into the ground, shattering it and shifting it beneath him like it was sand.

'He perfected it for a simple reason. One day, he was to find a State Stone, the legendary stone that could hold up the land itself, and he wished to break it. That day... never came. He lived his life without ever finding such a stone.'

The world started to shake, almost. As if mini aftershocks rippled through the world. The very pressure of the air itself seemed to grow thick. To his very hooftips, he felt the vibrations of power. And finally...

'But his legacy lives on, in me. This technique I use on you today is proof of that. This...'

His collar popped off.

'... is my World Splitter.'

He cocked his hoof back, and Shining Armor swore he heard the world move with it.

'Is your family as strong as this?'

In that instant, the moment the word left his mouth, in that one second with faces of fear and screams of shock all around him, Shining Armor knew. He knew.

“Yes.”

As Igneous raced forward, the very amphitheater itself shaking in his wake, Shining Armor called upon them. Every glove he could find, every single one in the entire room. He called them, and they heeded his words. They slammed into one another, pressing together into a long, thin pike like shape and combining on top of his white foreleg. His weapon forged, the once Captain of the Guard's muscles tensed up, and the world was his once more.

With a roar of fury, Shining Armor met his charge. The crowd gasped with anxiousness as they neared, and screamed in astonishment when they collided. A shockwave rippled out, exploding lights above, destroying what little of the games remained and shoving ponies back like they were caught in a gale force wind.

They were locked in the center of the stage, power rippling around them as they held a stalemate neither was willing to give up.

But for all his magic, Shining Armor could feel his weapon begin to waver.

'You cannot stop me.'

The stallion pressed forward, and Shining could only watch as the tip exploded into sheets of rubber against the power.

'My back is to my family.'

He pressed forward once more, shredding another of his gloves.

'It is as if I am protecting them with this.'

Another step, more destroyed.

'But you.'

Once more.

He had two gloves left.

'There is nothing to protect.'

He saw the strips of fabric begin to tear away from his penultimate glove. His hind legs wavered, wobbling beneath what felt like the whole world crashing down on him. His teeth grit, and at last he felt his arm begin to give way.

§Come on Shiny! You can't give up like this!§

...Huh... that sounded like... Spike?

§Don't let some guy beat you, come on! I trained you better than that!§
§You're trying to tell me some old guy is really too much for you? HAH! Where's the Shiny who punched Chitania in the face? Bring him up here! He'll win!§
§I swear if you're using this as an excuse to extend your vacation I WILL RUIN YOU! I'm not doing all that paperwork back home by myself!§
§No matter how hard the campaigns got, you stuck it through! YOU CAN DO IT HERE TOO!§
§AHHHAHAHAH! COME OOOON, LUMINOUS SHIELD! When the foe seems to be at his most powerful, THAT IS WHEN YOU WIN THE DAYYYYY!§

He could hear them...

§Shiny...§

Celestia?

§...Kick his ass!§

The penultimate glove shattered away...

But the one on his hoof remained steady.

For the first time since he had met the guy, Shining Armor got to see Igneous's eyes go wide.

“There...”

The edge in the brown stallions favor fell away. Magic poured off Shining Armor's horn, bleeding into the inside of the glove and making it shake with it's own pure power. The gloves mashing together began to tear and rip form the force, little strips flying off and fluttering about like leaves falling from a tree.

“There is ALWAYS...”

That's when Igneous felt it.

At last... his old bones began to creak.

“THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE TO PROTECT!”

And then it happened.

His foreleg bent. Just a bit... but a bit was enough.

Igneous could only watch as he own glove broke into nothing but dust and fabric, and the hoof that had held it was pushed aside as the other glove flew past, and right at his face.

'Huh.'

That was all he could get out before he collided, and he found himself rocketing through the air. He spun, twisted and turned. And then he collided with the support beam holding up the amphitheater, bounced off, and remained still

And for a moment, the world remained still.

>...I uh, I think you won-

And that's when everyone heard the groan of metal.

Shining's stunned, weary eyes looked up just in time to see the top of the amphitheater stage begin to bend and move downward. And right there, at it's base, was the prone body of the one he had beaten. The shadow covering him grew larger as the metal neared, and Shining knew what he had to do.

He was moving before he even realized it. Hooves flying against the ground and his glove being tossed away in the interim. He skidded to a halt right beside the stallion's body, and knowing he had no time to move him out of the way, he simply stuck his hooves into the air.

He did not know if he possessed the strength to hold up the entire amphitheater by himself, but he could do nothing else but try. Nothing else closing his eyes, and praying.

And waiting....

And waiting....

And...

And opening his eyes to see that same gigantic pile of metal hovering over above him. And next to him, his sisters horn was ignited.

And so was his mother's... and father's... and Cadence... and Two...

And down in the crowd he saw Celestia, and Chrysalis, and 18, and 42, and Luna, and Applejack, and Rarity, and a couple other Changelings, and just... just so many unicorns. It looked like someone had dropped a basket full of flares into the crowd.

“...Oh, right, surrounded on all sides by some of the most powerful magic wielders on the planet. And a bunch of unicorns.... and it is just hitting me I am also a unicorn who specializes in shield spells and wow I am dumb.”

^SHIIIINNNNNYYYYYYYYYYY!^

Meh, it's okay, he didn't need those ribs anyway.

^YOU DID IT YOU DID IT YOU DID IT!^

=Way to go champ!=

Or a shoulder.

+YOU DID!+

%EEEEE!%

Or air. Did not need air. Air was overrated.

|YEEEEEEAAAHHHHHH! WHAT!? WHAT!? WHAAAAAAT!?|

Or just... a body. You know? He did not need a body.

|IN! YOUR! FAAAAAACCCCCE!|

The Pie family was no longer smiles as they helped the stallion to his hooves, brushing him off and trying to console him.

~You did great, daddy.~

[Yeah! I mean, it was fun, right? Getting to spend time together like this?]

{What a show!}

-Perhaps we aren't as young as we thought, though.-

'Mmm...'

His stone as blank as a slab of concrete, he put his necktie back on, and placed his hat on his head.

|THAT'S RIGHT! WHO'S SPINELESS NOW!? HUH?! WHO'S WEAK NOW!? WHAT!? YOU THOUGHT MY BOY WAS ANY OF THOSE!? WELL IN YOUR FAAAAACCCCEEE!|

As one, Twilight, Shining Armor and Cadence froze.

“...Wait wait wait wait, what!?”

Across from them, the pie sisters likewise dropped their jaws.

~WHAT!?~

[Am I crazy, or did she just say...]

{No no no, I had to have misheard that. Ringing in my ears.}

+Could you, uh, could you repeat that?+

%Them. They said that about Shiny.%

|YEAH! Can you believe it!?|

“Not remotely.”

+I am at least ninety nine point nine eight six two one percent you are totally wrong.+

%Yeah, really.%

~SERIOUSLY!? You thought they said that about SHINY!?~

|THEY DID!|

'I did.'

Altogether, they gasped.

|SEE!?|

'Specifically, I thought that of him when he first arrived. My mind changed after he threw the mountain at me.'

-We actually thought very highly of him.-

'Our issue was mostly with you implying things about our daughter, Pinkie.'

~HEY! What did I do!?~

+WHAT!? MOM!+

Seconds ticked away as the implications set in.

|Ooooohhh... OOOOOOOHHHHH... You guys, uh, just meant like, before you knew him?|

'That is correct.'

|Ah... I see...|

+Wait, hold up, what did you say about Pinkie!?+

~Yeah!~

|That Shiny was better than her.|

[WHAT!?]

{OH! IT IS-}

+That's it?+

As one, the Pies looked to the alicorn.

[{~THAT'S IT!?~}]

'Yes. That was it.'

~TWI! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!~

+...OHHHH... oh okay, um, wow. You guys, uh, you don't know my mom.+

{...huh?}

+Hey, mom, who's better, me or Princess Luna?+

|What? You, obviously, sweetie!|

+Uh huh. Shiny or Applejack?+

|Well, while I think Applejack is doing great, I think my son is just doing a bit better ruling than she is! Quite a bit better, but who's counting?|

+Cadence or Celestia.+

|...Cadence has a lot of capabilities that are better than Celestia.|

Absolutely everyone stared at that. Cadence felt joy in her heart for the first time in a long time.

%R-really!?%

[...Seriously?]

+She is uh... little obsessed with her kids. Including in-law kids. If you're family to her, she's... got some rose tinted goggles.+

'...Oh.'

-I see. This answers a lot of things.-

'So you did not think less of our daughter, you are just proud of your son too much to place him lower than her.'

|What!? NOOO! I don't dislike Pinkie! She's so much fun and she can throw some amazing parties, and she helped save the world! She's an unbelievably strong and capable mare, with a great head on her shoulders and energy to spare... just not quite Shiny, you know? It's not a knock on you! It's just... my baby.|

'...That is far less offensive.'

-Not really offensive at all, in fact. We too think highly of our daughters, perhaps too much sometimes.-

|So the reason I was mad was completely off base...|

-And we jumped to unfortunate conclusions without taking into consideration how you viewed your child.-

|Well, this whole thing seems silly now, doesn't it?! Boy, do we look dumb for doing all of this!|

'It seems so insane to have gone so far, doesn't it?'

-This whole situation sounds like to could have been easily avoided.-

~It sure does!~

+But where would have been the fun in that?+

And they all laughed. They laughed, and laughed, and laughed. They shared embraces, cheers, maybe a hug or two, all differences melted away as they found kinship with their fellow family. All were laughing. All except for two. The number, not the changeling, she was cracking up. No, one of them was the ever stone faced Maud, who nonetheless was doing her own vacant smile, and the other... the other was Shining Armor.

It had been a long, long time since particularly dark thoughts entered into his head. But you know what? He was open to revisit the issue.

Confetti and all sorts of balloons and banners rained down from the sky, and loud cheery music exploded in his ears. A orange hoof wrapped around the white stallions shoulders, and Cheese shoved a microphone in his face as he hung off him.

>WHAT A SHOW WHAT A SHOW! It had it all! Action! Excitement! Drama and family! You won the match and I bet you learned a whole lot about yourself on the way, didn't you?

“...”

>But it's not over yet! Because you see Shining Armor, you know what you win?... A NEW CAAAART!

Across the room, the curtain pulled back, accompanied by flashing lights. Revealing what looks like to have at one point been the goo diving tank and a whole lot of wreckage in the form of a cart.

Subtly, Cheese started gesturing with a hoof across his throat, and the curtain closed.

>I meant, A NEW KITCHEENN!

This one looked to be the roller coaster car that had gone flying, and a lot of burning wreckage.

>...The washer?

The entire platform had landed on that one.

>...do we at least have the toaster?

The curtain pulled away, and there it was. Untouched.

>A NEW TOASTEEEER! Aren't you just so excited!

It was placed into his numb, frozen hooves, and he just stared.

>Thank you all so much for joining us and I hope you all had a fun time!

|We did!|
=It was pretty nice.=
+Maybe we can make this a yearly event?+
^WE GOTTA TOASTER EVERYTHIN' IS AWESOME! YAAAYYYY!^
%Yeah! We needed one of those! This was all worth it.%
'Wife, I enjoyed myself.'
-I am elated, husband. We should do this more often, they are nice ponies.-
~Oh yeah, they're great! We need to hang out a TON more!~
{Hey, think they're up for a bopper rematch?}
[Sounds like a plan to me!]

>Well then, always remember the joy of family, and I'll see you all next time on the next... SUPER! FLOOPER! FLABBLE! BATTLLLEEEEE!

The crowd exploded into applause. Cheers of all kinds going out and all manner of hoofbumping and laughing. It was a party in an of itself.

(...Did you have fun?)

Shining Armor just blankly stared at her own blank expression, as if it were two rocks gazing at each other.

And then he promptly fell forward, and decided to have himself a little nap.

(...He had fun, I can tell.)

And they all laughed.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Engineer pony
"Architect pony"
'Quartermaster pony'

>HEADS UP! MAJOR STRUCTURAL FAILURE AT THE AMPHITHEATRE! IT'S GOING DOWN!

"Get us over there, fast!"

'Hold on to me, let's get to it-'

=POOF=

>Oh dear Faust, it's collapsed, did it crush anyone?

'I don't... they're cheering? Why're they cheering?'

"Cheese commissioned a show stage, and it's a wreck, how did..."

>Those guys? I mean, they can't have, I built that thing so it couldn't...

'We spent so long, we....we....'

"Nonononono, I toiled for days on that design- DID YOU KNOW HOW MANY LOOP-DE-LOOPS HE WANTED IN THE BASE STRUCTURE?!"

>Just calm down, we can...fix this, we can...make sure it doesn't

'My boys don't want to clean this up, of all the things to collapse, why this?! It'll take years to sweep away and scrap!'

"YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO TARTARUS!"

>Dude, chill, we don't need to get like thi-

"NO! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT TAKES TO DESIGN AND BUILD THESE?! DO THESE FREAKS HAVE THE SLIGHTEST THOUGHT AT THE WORK WE PUT IN?! AND THEN THEY TEAR IT TO PIECES BECAUSE.....WHY DID THEY TEAR IT TO PIECES IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

'The claw's coming....'

"OH FUCK THE CLAW! FUCK THE CLAW AND FUCK YOU! WE WORK OUR FLANKS OFF AND YOU JUST SNAP IT IN FUCKING TWO! YOU MAKE OUR LIVES HELL WITH YOUR CRAP! QUIT BREAKING EVERYPONY'S STUFF YOU SHITS! FUCK YOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo-"

>...Faust above

'I have a feeling we're gonna hear a lot more of that, my guys ain't Union, they're not gonna get overtime for this clean up'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sucker Punch
"41"
'Tour Guide'

"Y'know, I've learned something today."

>What?

"Sure there's changelings that are a lot better than me at like fighting, sneaking, paperwork, basket weaving, being cute, surviving fires, having bad luck, being a creepy spider mutant, juggling-

>I would debate you on that one.

"-and a whole bunch of other stuff, but I think we know that there is one things that every single other one of those jerks isn't better than me at."

'I noticed.'

>Yeah...uh...yeah, it's kind of obvi-

"Aren't you going to let me say it?"

>Why?

'Yeah, we can see it.'

"But...I mean, come on!"

>Sorry, but I need to up my ticket count if I'm going to keep up with this.

'Heck, I gotta stick with him to make sure he doesn't cheat to just keep up with it.'

The two leave, letting 41 stew in a pile of tickets.

"...SKEE BALL! I'M REALLY REALLY GOOD AT SKEE BALL!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________