Text Adventure Chapter 78 Log

>The Main Hall is probably where they’d be unless they’re still in the bedrooms.
>You hope that they’re free to talk.
>You and the group open the door to the Crystal Hall, where you find Princess Cadance at her throne with Shining at one side and Flash Sentry on the other.
>There’s a large group of well-dressed Crystal Ponies, other race envoys, and they seem to be knighting another crystal stallion clad in armor.
>It doesn’t look like they’re paying attention to your entourage, as they’re still continuing with it.
>Shining does spot you, however, and gets Flash’s attention.
>They mutter behind Cadance and the new knight for a moment, and Flash leaves his post, heading towards you.
“Hey, what’s--”
>As he approaches you, he starts shooing you past the door, making you backtrack through until he’s able to close the door behind him.
>”Sorry about that, this is sort of an important matter. Did you need to speak with the Princess?”
>Redheart leans out from behind you.
>”Uh, yes, actually. It’s very important that we see her right now?”
>Flash looks back at the door for a moment.
>”She’ll be done in about an hour, can you wait that long? I’m sure whatever it is isn’t that time-sensitive, right?”
>What do you say?



>Your face falls, doing your best to look heartbroken.
>It’s not that you aren’t, but it’s good to show it extra for this situation.
“Well, actually it kind of is. Lives are at stake, so it’s pretty important. Look, we’re leaving soon and our time is short, so this might be the last time we get to speak with them before we leave for the hive. Take a look at this.”
>You pull your phone out again and tap the play button, turning the screen towards him as he stares at it with confusion.
>...
>”I… don’t understand. How did you get this film?”
“It was on this device the entire time, but we’ve only recently discovered it. This is the monster that we’ve been chasing, and there’s a chance it could very well destroy this world like it did mine. I believe it spent all its energy doing so, and it’s been recovering in this world to gain enough power to do the same. I ask you to get Twilight as well as Cadance and Shining so I can show all three of them at once.”
>Flash looks conflicted, but seeing the look on your face and the evidence he saw makes the decision for him.
>”I… I’ll be right back with them. Stay here, don’t move.”
>He then returns through the door, headed straight for the two.
>You can hear the ceremony being interrupted.
>Redheart frowns as the group starts resting around the door.
>”I didn’t like interrupting them like that, but this situation is a little more important, I’d say.”
>Berry chimes in.
>”Pffft, you know the royal types. It’s not like we’d ever do anything right. Watch, she’s gonna come in and listen to us, but still be pissed about doing it right this second.”
>AJ shakes her head.
>”Ah don’t think she’s like that. Besides, you haven’t even formally talked to her or nothin’, have ya?”
>”So?”
>”So, she’ll be fine with us. Ya’ll just gotta be patient, ya hear?”
>And patience will be the name of the game.
>What would you like to do while waiting for the three ponies?



>Well, there’s nothing to do right now except wait.
>After a bit of small talk with the rest of the party, you decide to sit down and do some acquired reading.
>Pulling out one of your many huge textbooks, you look down and pick up where you left off on your alchemy book.
>...
[You gain a better understanding of the magical reactions between native Equestrian herbs.]
[LEARNED RECIPE: ANTIDOTE (2 blue herbs, 1 lifeleaf, 1 vial of poison / Cures the drinker of poisons and light diseases.)]
>...

>”Where are they? He said he’d be right back, and it’s been nearly 20 minutes.”
>You look up from your book at Gable’s exclamation.
>He’s right, it’s 10:05 A.M., about 20 minutes later.
>You get up and very slowly open the Main Hall, seeing if there’s anypony inside.
>As soon as you do this, however, you’re pushed back and nearly hit in your broken nose as Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Twilight, Spike, Flash Sentry, and… the changeling, come in.
“Wait… what?”
>The group becomes just as surprised as you as you see the changeling, with a rather negative frown on it’s face.
>Shining addresses you first.
>”Sorry we took so long, but we didn’t exactly expect you to come in with urgent news during our one planned event for the day --thanks for that, by the way--, so we had to scramble to get things ready for you.”
>Cadance nods, allowing the changeling to be released from her magical grip, and it slowly shuffles to your side, not looking anyone in the eyes.
>”Here’s the changeling for your journey. I know it’ll be a bit of a burden trying to keep an eye on it, but it’s been swayed by our… intentions. Again, we’re sorry that we had to take it on such short notice, but we needed answers at the time.”
>You look back at the changeling for a moment, completely confused.
“I thought…”
>Cadance looks at you with concern.
>”Thought what? That we tortured it? Oh, goodness no! We wouldn’t stoop as low as our enemy, don’t worry, it was never truly harmed.”
“..No, I mean.. From what Twilight said, I thought you guys executed it.”
>Berry spits out the drink she was chugging, with the rest of your party exclaiming different degrees of disbelief.
>”What kind of show do ya think we’re runnin’ here, Anon?”
“Gh-”
>Cadance goes pale, and Twilight gets flustered and cuts in immediately.
>”N-no! We would never do something like that, Anon! What did you think I meant?!”
“You said it was taken care of! Back where I’m from, that means it’s -taken care- of, you know, for good.”
>Shining gives a comforting hoof to his horrified sister before speaking for her.
>”Believe me, Anon. I fought hard for what you thought, but in the end, it would’ve done more harm for us than good. But it’s here now, and that’s what matters. So, you had something to show us that’s really important, right?”
>You nod, deciding to leave that misunderstanding alone.
>Cadance returns to her former composure.
>”We apologize for any misunderstandings, but no, we wouldn’t do that. I guess that forged letter must’ve painted a bad picture if it led you to think we’re capable of something so atrocious.”
>Redheart looks between you two, butting in.
>”I’m sorry, forged letter?”
>”Anonymous received a letter from Princess Celestia when we reinstated contact with her, telling him he was not to go to the hive, or at least not bring any of you into danger, under threat of arrest. Of course, it was faked, probably work of this shadow.”
>”...Were you going to tell us?”
“It wasn’t an important issue at the time. I would’ve went myself if it came down to it, but as she said, it’s fake and it’s in the past. Here, this is what I wanted to show you guys.”
>Twilight, Shining, and Cadance gather in once you pull your phone back out, and you play the file for them.
>...
>Cadance was stone-faced the entire time the video played, a testament to her will as a Princess with responsibilities.
>Shining was likewise stoic, but there was obvious shock in his eyes.
>Twilight fainted once the other humans in the video were flayed, having to be revived by her brother before the ending.
>Spike never got to watch it, being told not to listen by AJ who had already seen it.
>Once the video ends, Cadance speaks quietly.
>”I’m… I’m so very sorry. I can feel the turmoil in your mind from it, it must be terrible. If you need anything at all, just ask.”
>Shining nods to affirm her words, patting you gently on the back.
>Twilight and Spike seem to be lost for words at your predicament.
>But as generous as it is, you’re done mourning.
>As kind as they are, you need to get down to it.
“Those eyes are the same from what I’ve seen. That’s the shadow, no doubt about it. I believe this thing spent all of its energy destroying my side of that vortex, my world, and it’s been recovering and getting strength back here so it can do the same. It could very well be the reason why it’s targeting the most powerful magic-users in the world. It’s weakened, and scavenging for any power it can get.”
>Cadance thinks for a long moment.
>”I don’t know… It’s very possible, but after it left me, it never took my magic. So far, it still only has Celestia’s and Luna’s power. Why didn’t it simply drain me as it did them?”
“Maybe it was trying to take a shortcut by using your body, I’m not sure.
>Twilight’s eyes suddenly dilate, speaking erratically.
>”Oh Celestia… That’s why it’s at the hive, corrupting it! It’s trying to take Queen Chrysalis’ power!”
>The revelation is too powerfully sound to be ignored.
>That has to be why it’s there.
>Shining steps in at this point.
>”You have to get there and stop it, Anon. If it manages to take her, then it might have too much power for anything in this world to handle.”
“Right. We’ll be leaving the Crystal Empire shortly to go after the Hive. Is there any advice you can offer us on our journey? Anything like maps or something?”
>”We don’t know exactly where it is. From what Twilight told us, she’s given you the closest location we feel their magical presence, and that’s somewhere in the Badlands. We might be able to get you guys some better armor or weapons from our Guardrooms, but we’re tight enough on forces here as it is. I’m afraid I can’t lend you any soldiers, but if you can get anyone to help you out, I’ll see to it that they do.”
“Guardrooms? So like, crystal armor?”
>”Yeah. All kinds of normal weapons, bows, Crystal leather, mail or plate. If you want a Highguard set, we can only spare one right now, maybe a few weapons, but anything to help you is helping this world.”
“Right.”
>So you could get some upgrades there if you stop by.
>You might need it with the way it’s looking.
“Oh, also, Cadance?”
>”Yes?”
“About our conversation right after we freed you, I completely understand if it’s too much trouble, but… Would you be able to provide some financial assistance to the one known as Steel Magnolias while I try and find a cure for him? Their family must be in a lot of debt and are having a hard time, so it would help them so much if you could.”
>”I think I might be able to do something like that. Not a lot, but… Consider it done.”
“Thank you, Princess.”
>”Now, if you need anything else, the knighting ceremony’s been postponed until next week, so don’t hesitate to come to us, and better yet, give us updates while you’re there and write us.”
“Postage takes a long time, though.”
>Spike finally chimes in at this point.
>”Actually, me and Twi are going to Appleoosa with you guys to make sure you guys get what you need.”
>Twilight smiles at his enthusiasm.
>”We’ll be meeting you all at the train station at its latest ride at 6:30 P.M. Don’t miss it, because you have tickets there!”
“We won’t.”
>Cadance gets your attention.
>”Is that all you needed, Anon?”
>Is there anything else you’d like to ask them before heading on your way?



“Well, I’ll take you up on that equipment upgrade, Shining. I’ll be down there in a bit. But uh, what exactly did you do to the Changeling, and what were you after?”
>”Information about the Hive, anything we could get. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t give much, but we never resorted to anything barbaric. I would’ve if it weren’t for my wife and aunt, believe me.”
>”Shining, honey…”
>”You know how I feel, Cadance.”
>Cadance sighs, so you take the opportunity in their lull to speak.
“Princess, I know it’s asking a lot since you already gave us such a valuable artifact before, but may I request to borrow that Crown for a short time, and return it once the shadow’s been dealt with? My markings hold a certain power over it, but my magic still isn’t strong, and I’m looking for any advantage.”
>Cadance abruptly shakes her head.
>”I’m sorry, Anon, but we can’t do that. Those artifacts are emergency defenses for our Empire, and with such trying times we’re facing, we can’t afford to let them out of our grasp, even for the team going out to combat them. We’d be too vulnerable with how small our forces are right now.”
“I understand. Oh, and Twilight, have you seen Fluttershy? I promised I’d help her with some bird seed.”
>Twilight blinks.
>”Oh, well that’s nice of you, uh, she’s probably back at the park with the rangers, helping them out with the animals. You’d better do that today though, as they’re going to be going back to Ponyville tonight.”
“Right, thanks again. I think that’s all we’ll need, so we’ll be going down to the guardrooms.”
>”Take care, Anonymous.”
>”Win this thing for us, bro.”
>”Be careful, and see you tonight!”
>”Hey, can you smuggle a knife out of there for me?”
>”SPIKE!”
>”What?!”
>Twilight starts unleashing a rage-filled tirade at her assistant with such intensity even Shining starts backing away.
>It looks like she wasn’t too happy with his behavior last night, and that just made it a bit worse.
>You slowly back away with the rest of your group, and high-tail it out of there to the guardrooms.
>You at least know where this is, as it’s the place where you found AJ training.
>...
>The party enters the Guard’s Quarters single file, some seeing it for the first time.
>The cracked wall and destroyed dummy still lay in the corner when AJ went to town, it seems.
>What really gets noticed here though is the line of guards awaiting your presence.
>When you’re all in, the front guard steps forward and enunciates clearly.
>”We’ve been ordered to spare equipment for your journey to the hive. Please come into the back and select what you need, and we’ll fit them for you. Follow me.”
>The guard leads your party back into the storeroom.
>It looks like the Protected Wither threw up crystal back here.
>”Now, what can you use?”
>What can you use…

[ARMOR]
>”All of our armor is embroidered with the Crystal Empire’s insignia. If you ever need to go undercover, remember this.”

>(CL) Crystalline Leather Set (+10 PD)
-Crystal Leather Salet (2)
-Crystal Leather Protector (3)
-Crystal Leather Shoes (1)
-Crystal Leather Flankguards (2)
-Crystal Leather Cloak

>(CL) Crystalline Chainmail Set (+20 PD/+5 MD)
-Crystal Chainmail Coronet (4)
-Crystal Chainmail Breadth (6)
-Crystal Chainmail Sabatons (4)
-Crystal Chainmail Flankguards (6)
-Crystal Buckler (+10 PD)

>(CP) Crystalline Plate Set (+40 PD/+20 MD/+15 HP) {Available sets: 2}
-Crystal Plate Helmet (8)
-Crystal Platemail (15)
-Crystal Plate Flankguards (10)
-Crystal Plate Hoofguards (7)
-Crystal Squareshield (+40 PD)

>(HG) Highguard Plate Set (+100 PD/+70 MD/+25 HP) {Available sets: 1}
-Highguard Plate Helmet (20)
-Highguard Platemail (30)
-Highguard Flankguards (25)
-Highguard Hoofguards (25)
-Highguard Shield Wall (+75 P.D./+30 M.D.)

[WEAPONS]
>Swords
-Crystal Rapier (1 handed, +10 Physical Attack, Grants Parry)
-Crystal Zweihander (2 handed, +35 PA, Grants ability Crush)
-Highguard Longsword (½ handed, +40/75 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Precision Strike) {Avalable: 2}
-Officer’s Hoofblade (Pony only, 1 hoofed, +70 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Perriote) {Available: 1}

>Spears
-Crystal Lance (1 handed, +10 PA, Grants Parry)
-Crystal Poleaxe (2 handed, +35 PA, Grants Parry)
-Highguard Glaive (½ handed, +40/75 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Downforce) {Available: 1}
-Officer’s Spear (Pony only, 2 hoofed, +80 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Olberslash) {Available: 1}

>Hammers/Maces
-Crystalforge Mace (1 handed, +15 P.A.)
-Crystalforge Hammer (2 handed, +40 PA, Grants ability Hammertime)
-Highguard Morningstar (½ handed, +55/90 PA, Grants ability Whirlwind) {Available: 1}
-Sergeant’s Slammer (Pony only, 2 hoofed, +100 PA, Grants Block, Grants ability Skull Stomp) {Available: 1}

>Axes
-Crystalline Hacker (1 handed, +12 Pa)
-Clarion Battleaxe (2 handed, +36 PA, Grants Block)
-Highguard Sparthaxe (½ handed, +50/80 PA, Grants Block, Grants ability Battlestorm) {Available: 1}
-Lieutenant’s Lithe (+100 PA, Pony only, 2 hoofed, Grants ability Double-Tap) {Available: 1}

>Ranged
-Quiver (Holds 24)
-Longbow (R, +10 PA)
-Crossbow (R, +20 PA)
-Crystal Composite Bow (R, +36 PA, +10 Balsa or +3 Crystal)
-Highguard Recurve (R, +64 PA) {Available: 1}
-Captain’s Curve (R +72 PA) {Available: 1}
-Balsa Arrows (R, +1 PA) {Available: 72}
-Yew Arrows (R, +3 PA) {Available: 56}
-Crystal Arrows (R, +10 PA) {Available: 48}
-Triple-reinforced Hollowmetal Arrows (R, +20 PA) {Available: 24}

>”What do you require, Doctor?”
[While certain things may have a certain amount to take and others are virtually infinite, note that whatever you take from here leaves less for the Empire’s defense.]
[You are able to converse with your party to view their preferences should you inquire it.]

-Take item(s)
-Inspect item(s)
-Talk to Guard
-Exit


>Inventory/Equipped

>ANONYMOUS (cc)
[HP: 125/125][MP: Manasealed (AC)][Stats: 10 PD, 165 MD / +15 MA base, +150 MA wep / +75 PA ranged]

Inventory: Wallet, Bit pouch (10,132 bits, 2 small gems, 6 medium gems, 2 large gems), Roll of duct tape, Rope, Potion-making Kit (Allows brewing of potions, E: +100% potion effectiveness), Blowdart, Blue herbs (3), Red herbs (1), Supply Medkit (2), Small mana potion (33%, 1), Lifeleaf (12), Rizzleberry bunch (7), Alchemy Book (Transmogrification), 9 oz. of Kablooie powder, 4 ounces of combustible powder, Wisp weed (8), 2 handfuls of bolts, Haze Flower (9), Yeti Hair (2), iPhone, (Book) Introduction to Architecture, Screwdriver kit (reduces bolt and screw cost by 3), Socket wrench kit (reduces wheel & axle and nut cost by 1), 1 Oz. of Thermite, Black Marker, Hoofcuffs (3), Cock Ring, Ultimate Knowledge of Medical Expertise: Volume XXVII, Medium Healing potion (66% restore, 3), Firewood (2), Window of Reality (Allows you to see into the future of different possibilities of your choices with limitations), Iron-Hide Brew (3, +5 PA for 3 turns), Platinum Ingot (1), Small mana crystal (1, restores 33% mana), Uncut Ruby, Dr. Frank Fort’s Psychology 102: For Dummies, Dr. Frank Fort’s Love is in the Air: You and Your Ponymate, Dr. Frank Fort’s Back in Time: Guide to your Childhood, Dr. Frank Fort’s Post-Trotmatic Stress of Magic: When Spells Attack, Dr. Frank Fort’s Depression, Anxiety and All Those Unfortunate Thingamajigs: What to Do for a Friend Near You, Empty Chest, Shadow-Infused Rune, Doctor’s Mask, Magical Scroll: Temporary Horn, Medium Mana Crystal (1, restores 66% mana), Medical Mastery: Volume XXVI, Medium Mana Potion (4, restores 66% MP), Unlocking Flask (4, removes manaseal), Double-bladed spear (+10 PA, +15 MA, E: Can attack spectrals. Abilities: Redheart Cummer (-1 MP, +25 magic dmg, 2 turn CD), Flamescythe (-1 MP, Good attack, +10 MA, 4 turn CD)), Picture of Inter-Dimensional Monster, Sunwhirl’s Findings, Cookie-Top Cake (8 slices, +50% HP each), Magic Recombobulator (Restores mana, 118/500) Starswirl Stone, Celestia’s Forged/Fake Letter, Copy of Starswirl’s Notes: Portals and Healing, Reinforced Yeti Hide Armor (+40 PD, +25 MD, -100% chance to bleed), Adamantite Ingot (2)

Equipped: Redheart-inscribed ‘Legendary’ Doctor’s Trenchcoat (+15 HP to medkit usage), Mysterious markings, Avian Leather Boots (Lowers exhaustion), Thick Winter Coat, Starswirl’s Wand (R, +200 MP, +150 MA, +125 MD, Grants ability Ancient Wrath), F.L.A.R.E. (R, +50 MA, -5 MP per shot. Can choose a different aspect of magic to fire for different magical values; Currently set to Arcane), Highguard Robes (+12 MP, +15 MA, +10 MD)

>REDHEART: [HP: 140/140][Stats: 30 PD, 25 MD / +5 PA base, +40 PA wep]

Inventory: Medkit (2), Bit pouch (40 bits) Ultimate Knowledge of Medical Mastery: Volume I, Defibrillator, Recipe for Defibrillator, Recipe for Healing potions, Lube, Ribbed Strap-on, Doctor’s Mask, Latex Hoof Gloves, Medical Mastery: Volume XXVI, 5 oz. of Kablooie Powder, Concise Lead Ammo (72, +25 PA)

Equipped: Medic-Issued Crystal Chainmail Coronet (+4 PD, +1 MD), Medic-Issued Crystal Chainmail Breadth (+6 PD, +1 MD), Medic-Issued Crystal Chainmail Sabatons (+6 PD, +1 MD), Medic-Issued Crystal Chainmail Flankguards (+6 PD, +1 MD), Medic-Issued Crystal Buckler (+10 PD, +1 MD, grants Block), Highguard Glaive (1 hoofed, +40 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Downforce), Medic-Issued Crystal Leather Cloak (Reduces exhaustion), Thick Winter Coat, C.O.C.K. (R, +40 PA, 3 turn reload after six shots, 1 oz. of Kablooie powder per round of shots), Amulet of Heart’s Calling (+5 HP, grants ability Heart’s Calling)

>PINKIE PIE: [HP: 105/105][MP: 25/50][Stats: 27 PD, 6 MD, -25%B / +100 PA wep / +15 PA ranged]

Inventory: Party Cannon, Various sweets, ??? (“Hammerspace, Nonny!”), Knife, Anal Beads, Bit pouch (130 bits), Quiver (empty) Equestrian Wildlife: A History of the Evolution of Animals, Sonic Laser (Used to divert aggressive animals), Grappling Hook (Used to reach inaccessible places)

Equipped: Sir Prize and Miss Direction (+60/+40 PA, Grants Parry, Grants ability Darkstrike), Manticore Leather Armor (+12 PD, +6 MD, -25% chance to bleed), Crystal Leather Cloak (Reduces exhaustion), Hypno-Necklace (0-4 fail, 5-9 win, confuses enemy), Thick Winter Coat Hunting Bow (R, +15 PA), Quiver (3 yew arrows [+3 PA]), Element of Laughter (Grants magic, +50 MP up, grants ability Harmonic Laughter)

>BERRY PUNCH: [HP: 220/220][Stats: 40 PD, 60 MD, +10% Fire D +15 HP / +44 PA wep]

Inventory: Bit pouch (empty), Box of matches (14), Bottle of hard liquor (DD up), Vibrator, Torches (2), Rags (5), Bulletin (Animal Aggression), Firewood (2), 2 bundles of sticks, White Rum Flask (Increases alcohol-related abilities’ damage by x2)

Equipped: Clawed Thick Iron Horseshoes (Modified, +20 PA/+24 Claw PA), Crystal Plate Helmet (+8 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Platemail (+15 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Plate Flankguards (+10 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Plate Hoofguards (+7 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Leather Cloak (Reduces exhaustion), Thick Winter Coat, Neck-Ring of Kinich Ahau (Increases MD by 40, decreases fire damage by 10%, Grants ability Scorch)

>APPLEJACK: [HP: 240/240][MP: 50/50][Stats: 115 PD, 80 MD, +15 HP / +5 PA base, +50 PA wep]

Thu’um: Voice Change (-5 MP, changes pitch and inflection of voice for a short time), Fury Wind (3 turn CD, +50 PA AoE solid, knockback out of combat), ~

Inventory: Flask (Apple cider), Tri-braid rope, apples (12), Bit pouch (51 bits), Dildo, Foal’s Guide to Magic (Gives basic knowledge of magical theory, allows learning of basic level spells, levitation and luminate), Pickaxe (+10 PA, grants ability Mine)

Equipped: Stetson hat, Crystal Plate Helmet (+8 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Platemail (+15 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Plate Flankguards (+10 PD, +5 MD), Crystal Plate Hoofguards (+7 PD, +5 MD), Empire Express (2 hoofed, +50 PA, Grants ability Cyli-Spin), Crystal Leather Cloak (Reduces exhaustion), Thick Winter Coat, Mask of the Dragon Aspect (+60 MD, +75 PD, grants ability Thu’um), Element of Honesty (Grants magic, +50 MP up, Grants ability Harmonic Honesty)

>GABLE: [HP: 200/200][Stats: 20 PD, 12 MD / +10 PA base, +20 PA,+25 MA wep]

Inventory: Red Headband, Bit pouch (138 bits, 1 Large Gem), Karate Instruction Manual (Raises HtH combat ability), Fishing Rod and kit (Grants ability Fish), 5 oz. of Kablooie Powder, Rifle Lead Slugs (12, +50 PA)

Equipped: Avian Leather Salet (+2 PD), Avian Leather Harness (+3 PD), Avian Leather Gloves (Modified: Fingerless, +1 PD), Avian Leather Greaves (+2 PD), Enchanted Talonguard Bracers (+12 MD), Thick Winter Coat, Sword of the Windigo Spirit (2H, +20 PA/+25 MA, Grants ability Frost Nova), D.I.C.K. (R, +150 PA, 10 turn reload, 1 oz. of Kablooie powder per shot, can shoot up to 2 miles away)

>IRON WILL: [HP: 275/275][Stats: +10 PD / +35 PA wep]

Inventory: Protein Shakes (3, increases HP by 20 temporarily), Bit pouch (277 bits), Coupon to Maregaze’s M&S Lover’s ‘Retreat’ (20% discount for one checkout), 9 oz. of Kablooie Powder, Four-Barrel Lead Ammo (14, +25 PA to fight),

Equipped: Microphone (Increases voice volume at will), Necktie, Thick Winter Coat, F.U.C.K.E.R. (R, +75 PA, 7 turn reload, 1 oz. of Kablooie powder per 24 shots {1 shot is one full reloaded round, fires all 4 for each shell equalling to 1 oz. per turn}), Crystal Poleaxe (2H, +35 PA, Grants Parry)

>Inspect Double-Tap
[From Lieutenant’s Lithe: (+35/+30 PA, hits twice, chance to crit for x2 each, 5tcd)]

>Inspect Skull-Stomp
[From Sergeant’s Slammer: (Good attack, +20 PA, 90% chance stun for 3 turns, 5tcd)]

>Inspect Olberslash
[From Officer’s Spear: (Epic attack (RND), 5% chance to incapacitate, 8tcd)]