WEEK ONE HENNY

Monday before:
Student Survives Car Crash Due to Heavily Padded Resume
That's right, Rejected tjTODAY is BACK! We're excited to bring you more of the latest rejected news from TJHSST. #GoColonials
Expect a new headline hot off the presses every school day at lunchtime unless we don't feel like it.

Day one:
523 Students and 4,368 Sets of Parents Excited to Begin TJ Admissions Process
Students Struggle to Decide on Cool Thing They Did Last Summer before First Day Icebreakers
Senior Undergoes Plastic Surgery to Make Self Perfect Fit for Harvard

Day two:
Senioritis Takes First Victim as Patient Rolled into Geosystems Class Asleep on Hospital Stretcher

Thursday:
Morning Announcements Now to Recite Honor Code Every Morning instead of Pledge of Allegiance

Friday:
Rising Junior Unknowingly Goes to Sleep Before 1 AM for Last Time in Life