Go get 'em!

Michael grumbled as he crawled through the vents towards Funtime Auditorium. “Lackluster performance yesterday” his ass. He did his damn job and for what, reduced pay? Granted, he wasn’t here for the money, but still. It was the principle of the whole thing.

Some creaking and bumping stopped him in his tracks. Michael strained his ears to listen, but heard nothing. He shrugged his shoulders and moved on; figuring that it was either his imagination or the poor condition the building was in.

A memory from the night before surfaced in his mind unbidden. A dead body had been found in the vents once, Angsty Teen HandUnit had said. Michael dismissed the thought. Had the AI been messing with him it would come as no shock. He’d done so before.

Another sound, louder and closer this time, stopped Michael again. He was sure that he had heard something that time. He listened as hard as he could. Nothing. Michael was undaunted, however, and continued his crawl, taking extra care to be as quiet as possible. It was only when he had made significant progress from where he had stopped that the noise started up again. It was the sound of scurrying and clinking, like a metal spider sprinting across a metal floor.

Or in a metal vent.

Michael picked up the pace, going as fast as he could through the vent. He could hear whatever was in the vent with him closing in on him from behind. The vent seemed like it would never end. It's metal walls twisted and turned like a dark maze. With every passing second the thing behind Michael got closer, and the closer it came the more the walls seemed to shrink. Claustrophobia gripped Michael, his imagination ran wild. Whatever the thing was behind him, Michael desperately did not wish to find out what it would do to him.

At last, the end of the vent was in sight, only a short distance away. Michael felt something touch his heel and lashed out, kicking back as hard as he could. He felt an impact on something heavy. Panic filled him, and with one last burst of effort Michael came skidding out of the vent.

The skittering sound had reached the end of the vent as well. Michael spun around, hand fumbling for his flashlight. His thumb found the switch and turned it on. A beam of light sprung forth, illuminating the vent. Michael only managed to spot a blur of blue and purple before it vanished.

Swinging around the light offered no sight of whatever had followed him. Michael was alone in the Funtime Auditorium.

Michael held a hand up to his chest. He could feel his heart pounding. “What the fuck was that,” he muttered to himself. Warily looking around the room, Michael realized something he hadn’t before. If he was alone in the auditorium, then where was Funtime Foxy? The pink-and-white fox was nowhere to be found.

The room was quiet, eerily so. The only sound came from the echo of Michael footsteps. He crept across the room, eyes peeled and ears open. The doorway on the other side of the room, which led to Parts & Service, was his destination.

Luckily, there were no more incidents. Michael opened the door and froze in the doorway. There, lying curled up on the ground, was Funtime Freddy. The bear was quietly sobbing to himself. Bon Bon, detached from his wrist, was on the floor next to him. Her small arms were rubbing Freddy’s back in soothing circles.

“There, there, big guy,” she said. “It’ll be okay.”

Funtime Freddy sniffed. “Th-Thanks Bawn Bawn.”

“Uhh, are you okay?” Michael asked. As the two animatronics swung their heads to face him he felt like slapping himself. Of course the bear wasn’t okay.

Funtime Freddy whimpered but slowly managed to get up. His only hand grasped Bon Bon and cradled her to his chest, and she rubbed it while whispering softly to him.

“I’ll be fine, just gimme a moment,” Freddy said. Michael couldn’t help but notice that he was standing hunched over, his legs pressed firmly together.

“… So, what happened?”

Funtime Freddy took a moment to collect himself. “It, it was terrible. There I was, mindin’ my own business, when out of nowhere, BLAM!” He smacked his empty wrist into his hand for emphasis.

Michael stared blankly at him. “Okay, but what happened?”

Bon Bon spoke up then. “It was just awful. Big guy’s hand and my legs got it in their non-existent heads to team up.”

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose. Inhale, exhale. “Alright, but what the fuck happened?”

“Well,” Freddy said,” I was talking with Foxy when all of a sudden-“

The bear was cut off when a purple fist with blue legs jumped out of nowhere and nailed him in the crotch.

“…that happened,” Freddy squeaked, his voice as high-pitched as Bon Bon’s.

Michael immediately fled while Freddy dropped to his knees. He sprinted across Funtime Auditorium and dove for the vent, sliding into it at such his speeds that by the time his hands and knees found purchase he was already a dozen feet in. Behind him, the walking crotch crusher climbed into the vent as well. Michael scrambled as fast as he could, and in no time at all he was back into Primary Control Module.

The hand-and-legs was not far behind, and before Michael could even close the vent it had leapt out at him. Michael jumped to one side, the crotch-seeking missile missing him by a hair. Michael’s mind raced; there were no doors in Circus Baby’s Gallery and the elevator was offline until six o’clock. That left the Breaker Room.

Michael snatched the genital hating amalgamation of fist and feet out of the air just before it could render him sterile. He wrestled with it for a moment before smashing it against the console. While it shook itself off, he climbed into the left vent and made for Ballora’s Gallery. There was no time to lose.

There’s truly no greater motivation for a man than to protect his junk, and so it was with what was surely record-breaking speed that Michael crawled through the vent and made a dash for the Breaker Room. His feet pounded a mad rhythm on the linoleum, drowning out Ballora’s music. Michael only had a split second to realize what a mistake that was before Ballora was on him.

The animatronic ballerina crawled towards him at high speeds, darting across the floor like a spider. Michael tried to weave around her. Unfortunately, he was in such a hurry that all he could accomplish was tripping over his own feet. Ballora slowly approached him, faceplates shifting in anticipation.

Salvation came from a completely expected source. Before Ballora could do anything, the groin destroying robot leapt over him. It’s aim was true, and it impacted Ballora with all the force it had Funtime Freddy. What was unexpected was the result.

The fist went right up Ballora’s skirt, and with a noise Michael could only describe as a wet slurp vanished beneath it. Ballora’s faceplates went haywire, opening and closing at complete random. She let out a surprised moan and dropped to the floor.

Michael got up and stared. From between Ballora’s legs, just barely revealed by her skirt, he could see small blue legs kicking. They eventually found purchase on the ground and started to pull backwards. Ballora shuddered, hands shooting down to force the robot back in.

Michael slowly backed out of Ballora’s Gallery, his eyes wide. He desperately ignored the sounds coming from behind him. Really, he thought to himself, he wasn’t paid enough for this shit.