Disgaea DLC: Hour of Deathcock

At last, my foe collapses. The battle was long and hard, and yet the climax came sooner than I expected. As I wrench free my weapon, I realise corruption has already soaked through its' hilt. Well, waste not want not. Through the ancient art of soul transposition, I conjure Humanity and Soulfire to forge what's left of the beast's spirit into it.

The forge is a makeshift circle of molten earth, and the view is a cratered wasteland full of shattered demons. But now, I enact my nature as preserver and refiner. This is rest to me.

"Ahem"

Go away, I'm forging.

"How dare you! I'm an Over-what is that? Let me get a better loooooooooOH NO! Why. Why is that. I don't even"

Ah, you're still here. Hmm. What do you think, a spear or a staff? It's served as a club once already. No, too cumbersome. A sceptre, I think. Yes, a catalyst but still a weapon. You were saying?

"...nothing. The Dark Assembly don't pay me enough to deal with whatever you're doing. Look, just. Here, take this. Please? I really don't ever want to meet you again. Especially in a dark alley". And off she goes, as quickly as an Overlord can while not technically breaking into an undignified flight.

>Phase 1

Good grief, this place has literally gone to the pits. No atmosphere? No day cycle? My first act here is to give Elune and Brigit a metaphysical piggyback boost to toss 'em into the sky, where they can roll up their metaphysical sleeves and start work on an actual atmosphere. Hope, Miyako and Jadis are in charge of terraforming duty.

Screams in the distance as my other legions of companions start making contact with the natives. OI-NON LETHAL FORCE.

Cloud, please get out of that hole. I'm about to broadcast the world recompilation program. We're gonna pave over it any minute now.

"But I like it here! It's like the void, but stabilised! Very avant-garde"

I...guess? Alright, why don't you and Cloud roll up all the holes in reality to make one big hole and I'll tweak the program so we can make it into a void moon.

Setbacks: Dimensional Flux, Difficult DemonsX3, Worst Fan Club Ever, Boss Rush! (1300)

Rivals: Sardia the Demonslayer (DEFINITELY!), Comrade Dood, Deathbringer the Ultimate Overlord, Liza the Underpaid, Skullfist, Magical Girl Muffin, Asagi (3000)

WAIT! Guys, there's some sort of machine built into the world! Be careful not to fight too hard or-oh. I see the high grade explosives have already been deployed within my own castle.

Let's see: Morrigan and Scanty have teamed up to give the the demonslayer a wedgie, while four other demons toss her sword around. All the Lightnings are trying to let the prinnies pass on to the next life and getting confused when they just kind of bounce away. Huey has apparently made friends with corgi after hacking into its' eldritch battlesuit. Alice is terrorising a poor demon who cosplayed as her, because she thinks she's her number one fan. Galacta's spamming explosions at a short, feminine figure. Morathi's having a dance fight with a skeleton; the deadly combination of whipping her her hair back and forth while quadrupling her flip power's probably doing the most damage to bystanders.

There's only one way to solve all of this. Okay, Pleinair. Just like we practiced.

"..."

Hey everybody, look: It's Pleinair! A toss, a magnificent frontflip and the bluenette wonder's swinging from a nearby chandelier! The fans go wild! The rivals go DOWN! Well, all's well that end's well.

OW. Stabbed in the back like a chump, and it hurts.

"YOU. Jumper, d'you know how many times I've died to reach this point?! That bitch" she points at Camilla, who looks deeply offended "dropped an axe on me! That bitch" she points at Glory, who barely looks offended at all "tossed me outside the void beyond reality! And THAT BITCH" she points at Kiara, who audibly moans "actually you know what I'd rather not remember how she killed me also do you have any soap I feel deeply unclean"

"BUT THE POINT IS" she yells, blasting aside weaker companions with a stray hail of bullets "I HAVE DIED SO MUCH, I HAVE ACHIEVED A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF POWER! WITH THIS STRENGTH, I WILL CONQUER ALL OF THE REALMS! I WILL BE ALL OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS! AHAHAHAHA!"

And the fight is on! Saint of Killers-like aptitude for gunplay versus the forbidden technique known as portals! After the initial ducking to avoid shrapnel, the onlookers quickly realise a stalemate has arisen and start breaking out popcorn. Old grudges are slowly dropped, mutual wounds are licked and everyone pitches in to steer away the collapsing spaceship once an erratic portal deflects some bullets at it.

Having just come back from a much worse fight, I'd rather not exert myself until I've sorted out the new property. It should be about time for Phase 2 to start.

"HEY WAIT YOU CAN'T LEAVE THIS IS MY BOSS BAT-"

>Phase 2

"-JUMPER GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT" she yells, punching a hole in space and time with her voice.

Go away, I'm exploring a secret passage. Listen, are you sure you don't want to work for me like my other rivals? I do a great dental plan.

"NEVER! MY POWER...MY POWER IS. MAXIMUMER!". My Territory catches most of the blast and an old prinny ducks quickly, but a stray shard shatters the component I'd just finished rebuilding from ash. I spare my foe a glance, and bend causality to reflect the rest of the attack back at her.

"OW"

A Certain Charm: A Judgement's Throne (2900)
Jumper! We Need To Cook! (2700)
You Call This A Town?! (2400)
Brick and Mortar (2200)
Amber Waves (2000)
Gold In Them Hills (1800)
The Stars Are Right (1700)
Ia! Ia! (1500)
Punch Club (1400)
Dragon Rising Tornado (1200)
An Echoing Bazaar (1100)
The Stalk Market (900)
Dank and Dork Dungeon (800)
Tower of Ivory (600)
Daylight Robbery (500)
First National Bank of Jumper (300)
A Steaming Pile (200)
Give A Hoot! (0)

An interesting machine, to be capable of operating dimensional distortions. I really must reverse engineer its' inner workings.

"I...STILL...LIVE! NOW, WITNESS MY TRUE POWARGH". Later. For now, the light of Judgement shatters my human avatar, inscribes memory upon the castle as it is reforged to be worthy of housing my glory and gently shows everyone within the way out so I can begin cleaning up.

>Phase...3?

As another challenger rises, my light expands, hardens and neutralises her magical blasts before they can touch my kingdom. The castle has become a vessel to my true self; I am order without form, light without end, infinity magnanimously limiting itself as a silent gesture of authority. The transcendent inferno of my soul roars its' approval at the terrified awe of my new subjects, the elation of my true companions and the caution upon my final rival's descent-

"NO! Give me your XP!" But she too falls, shot through the heart. And you're to blame, Asagi.

"No, YOU ARE! You didn't finish my boss battle! I won't give up until you finish my boss battle! You're...you're ignoring me, just like everyone else! Why? Why does everyone ignore me?! Even now when I've surpassed my former mentor, people treat me like...I'm not even...here..."

Aw geeze.

Alright, kid. You want a real fight with me? I'll give you one. I'll show you the legacy I have wrought in this world!

BEHOLD! THE DEATHCOCK, BANE OF DEVOURLORDS! The magic of omnicide pulses within its' weighty girth! Its' bulbous tip houses the tortured soul of the greatest of monsters-a main character! I claim the title of Overlord by virtue of might AND duty, for my resolve can subjugate even THIS vile abomination to my will!

"R-really?! In that case-I won't be left behind! This gun...THIS GUN IS THE COCK OF MY SOUL!"

THEN SHOW ME THE PRIDE OF AN USURPER, OR SUBMIT TO MY MANIFEST DESTINY! /HOLD NOTHING BACK!/

The infinite spiral of corrupted life energy I unleash pounds ANOTHER damn hole in reality, but Asagi's furious release withstands my weighty thrust-and she fights on, ululating in the wake of her strongest attack. The sky is cleaved, the earth shakes, stars explode into being as my AT-Fields slam her into the dirt and her bullets slam through my cock. Until she falls, rises, falls again, slumps next to the girl she just shot-and the fallen girl whispers words to her I decide to look away from. At last, Asagi admits defeat, closing her eyes to await the end.

There is none. My light flares to illuminate the void moon as I heal mend wounds-and bless them with unthinkable strength. Power or peace of mind? Why not both, I ask? This world is but a microcosm of my true dominion. In it, all will be rewarded by their deeds, not stature. When everyone is a main character, nobody will be.

And as they take their first steps into the parliament, the world-my world-comes alive with newfound purpose.

The Deathcock remains planted in an immovable rock, a warning against all who let ambition devour their lives and a cornerstone to my kingdom. It fades into legend, and at night mother demons tell their children that only the worthiest champion of my realm will be able to draw it in the Netherworld's time of need.