This.. is.. JEOPARDYYY!

>be me, bonky
>with my friend pickle homer
>we're hosting jeopardy
>he made up all the categories
>there's categories like "Things that slightly annoy me"
>or "Things that i think are adorable"
>or "Things that i'm terrified of."
>my friend pickle homer has 5 categories
>"Things that i'm terrified of" is his favorite.
>he keeps threatening me about it.
>so i'm the host
>i don't know who to ask the question to
>i want to make a good guess
>i ask it to the contestant nearest to me
>i go up to him
>i ask him what category he wants
>he says "things that i think are adorable?"
>my friend pickle homer is so happy
>he starts snorting
>i don't know what's wrong with him
>i read the question out out loud
>the category is "things that i think are adorable"
>the question is "are pickles adorable?"
>the contestant answers "no."
>my friend pickle homer says "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
>he's furious
>he says "you can't answer the question like that."
>i'm confused.
>he's furious.
>he says "you can't answer the question like that because pickles are alive."
>i don't know what that means.
>he says "you can't answer the question like that because pickles are alive."
>i'm sweating
>i'm beginning to have a panic attack
>i give them fifty points and keep moving
>i just have to keep moving
>i move on to the next contestant
>i ask them what category they want
>they say "things that slightly annoy me."
>they think it's funny
>my friend pickle homer is so happy
>he starts snorting
>i really don't know what's wrong with him
>i read the question out loud
>the category is "things that slightly annoy me"
>the question is "is pickle homer slightly annoying?"
>the contestant answers "yes."
>my friend pickle homer says "whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa."
>he's furious
>he says "it's the wrong answer. get them to say the right answer."
>i can hardly read the cards anymore
>i go to the contestant
>i stutter "what's the right answer?"
>the contestant says "yes."
>i look back at pickle homer
>he's bulging with anger
>i give them twenty points
>i don't know what else to do
>i move on to the next contestant
>i ask them what category they'd like
>they say "things that i'm terrified of."
>my friend pickle homer is so happy
>he starts snorting
>i really don't think thats a good thing anymore
>i read the question out loud
>the category is "things that i'm terrified of"
>the question is "are pickles terrifying?"
>the contestant answers "no."
>i hear a sharp and primal scream
>it's pickle homer
>he has torn his blazer in anger
>he is frothing at the mouth
>the contestants are scared
>i'm scared
>pickle homer screams "YOU CAN'T ANSWER LIKE THAT!"
>the contestant says "what's the question?"
>my friend pickle homer says "YOU CAN'T ANSWER LIKE THAT!"
>the contestant says "why?"
>my friend pickle homer says "YOU CAN'T ANSWER LIKE THAT!"
>the contestant says "why not?"
>my friend pickle homer says "YOU CAN'T ANSWER LIKE THAT!"
>the contestant says "please stop yelling at me."
>pickle homer lunges at the contestant
>i grab him
>i pull him off the contestant
>i can't control him
>he lunges at us again
>i grab him again
>i call for help
>my friend pickle homer is screaming
>he throws himself backwards into a chair
>he falls out of the chair
>the contestants are screaming
>my friend pickle homer is screaming
>he is screaming "YOU CAN'T ANSWER LIKE THAT!"
>someone calls the police
>the police come
>they come to take my friend pickle homer away
>he doesn't want to go with them
>i don't want them to take him
>i shout at them
>i tell them "please don't take him."
>i think "i need to rescue him."
>i grab pickle homer
>we run out the door
>we run down the street
>we run around the block
>we run to the park
>i grab a shovel
>i dig a hole
>i put my friend pickle homer in the hole
>i cover him up with dirt
>i don't want him to be taken away
>i cry
>i cry and cry and cry
>someone calls the crisis hotline
>the paramedics come
>i tell them "i buried my friend pickle homer."
>they say "what?"
>i say "i buried my friend pickle homer."
>i show them the spot where i buried my friend pickle homer.
>they say "you're kidding."
>i start digging him up
>i dig deeper and deeper
>i can't find him
>i ask the paramedics "where's my friend?"
>the paramedics say they don't know
>i keep digging
>i dig straight into a power line
>the electricity shoots through my body
>i fall onto the ground
>my friend pickle homer is gone
>i can't sleep
>i can't eat
>i can't go to school
>i can't have friends
>i can't have breakfast
>i can't have a life
>i am alone
>i am alone
>i am alone