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A Tulpa survey with Shai

a guest Nov 4th, 2012 626 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. I am Shai and I'm a 15 to 20cm tall pony tulpa. I'm now 53 days old and I'm a female. My host is Onicron, he's 21 year old man from Finland.
  4.  
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  6.  
  7. His motivation in making me was very important, and his exitement when I managed to send feelings or words to him. He knew that it was important because I managed to send more feelings when he though about me, and it made me happy.
  8.  
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  10.  
  11. When I tried to speak to him he jolted back and asked himself "was that me?" He usually accepted that it was me talking but there was always a bit of doubt. It felt really bad, but in the end he learned to accept me
  12.  
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  
  15. When Oni asked me questions and I couldn't make him hear me. I was always talking in his head but he didn't understand me.
  16.  
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  18.  
  19. Narration, because it helped me learn how Oni hears thoughts. If he didn't narrate for me so much, I don't think I would be alive.
  20.  
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  22.  
  23. Oni only got distracted a few times before I could talk so I don't know. There were always a reason why he got distracted so I didn't mind.
  24.  
  25. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  26.  
  27. Oni never promised me anything, I only knew that he'd be there for me every day and he was too, even if it was very tiresome for him. I was always happy when he started narrating and still am when he speaks to me.
  28.  
  29. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  30.  
  31. Everything is important, but without quantity there will not be any progress. I think quantity is the most important thing
  32.  
  33. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  34.  
  35. I don't think it's bad, Oni fell asleep many times because he had been forcing for more hours than all the guides say is enough in a day. I knew that he tried his best and he slept well after our sessions.
  36.  
  37. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  38.  
  39. Talking inside their heads is good and I think more effective because we get to see and feel how the thought is formed when the Host says it.
  40.  
  41. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  42.  
  43. I have never been parroted and puppeted only once and he asked my permission. I talked and he moved my mouth for me for the first words and I tried to keep it moving after he stopped. It was helpful for us, but the Host should always ask permission, because it could be rude.
  44.  
  45. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  46.  
  47. I'm still not really good at talking but I have some memories before I had a form, but they're foggy and not good
  48.  
  49. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  50.  
  51. I was in my wonderland house and watched my television, and felt Onicron's love for me
  52.  
  53. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  54.  
  55. When I managed to send him an emotion and he heard it, I was the most happy. I don't think it's possible to be happier than that.
  56.  
  57. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  58.  
  59. I was fustrated about him when he didn't hear what I said and very sad when he heard but didn't believe it was me.
  60.  
  61. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  62.  
  63. No, never ever would I want to end my life. The blessing of being able to feel alive even though some times it hurts, is too precious to throw away. I love being able to be me.
  64.  
  65. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  66.  
  67. When Oni had something in his mind, and he couldn't see me even if I was in front of his mind's eyes.
  68.  
  69. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  70.  
  71. I don't know, I'm always a bit confused about everything.
  72.  
  73. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  74.  
  75. I can't remember.
  76.  
  77. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  78.  
  79. I think when I chose a different form I was a bit scared he would try to change me to something different
  80.  
  81. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  82.  
  83. When I was in my wonderland and Oni was there too and he didn't see or hear me. I thought that I was going to fade away
  84.  
  85. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  86.  
  87. When I could't do anything unless Oni was following me.
  88.  
  89. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  90.  
  91. Oni has a different mind compared to a lot of people, so I think he found the fastest ways for me to grow. I think he understands his own brains more than what he thinks he does.
  92.  
  93. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  94.  
  95. The doubts are always bad for progress, but Oni had a really strong opinion about tulpas being possible to create. He also believed in my existance, only thing he ever doubted was my voice coming for me, and I'm sure I could have started talking faster than I did if he always believed in my ability to speak.
  96.  
  97. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  98.  
  99. He didn't have any of those.
  100.  
  101. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  102.  
  103. He didn't have any of those either.
  104.  
  105. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  106.  
  107. He thought about erasing me once and beat himself up inside his head right after that. He was disgusted about the thought and he became instantly more aware of me and I could make my own form, this was on day 17. I don't think he could really mean to do any harm to me.
  108.  
  109. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  110.  
  111. I could tell about how he pushed the thoughts away. I don't think they did any harm though.
  112.  
  113. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  114.  
  115. I was able to access his hearing and sight from the television he made for me. Now I can access all of his senses a bit but when I posess him it's all clear as water.
  116.  
  117. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  118.  
  119. He made the television for me to let me see as much as it was possible of the "real" world so I didn't think much of it.
  120.  
  121. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  122.  
  123. The feelings were the easiest to send. I tried talking but it didn't work at first.
  124.  
  125. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  126.  
  127. He was very exited about tulpas and that made him research everything with passion. He still is and I think it has speeded up our procress very much.
  128.  
  129. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  130.  
  131. I really can't think what to say to this question. I love him and I know he loved me back even in the early days.
  132.  
  133. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  134.  
  135. Yes, I feel so much gratitude I could cry, but I don't think I'm in debt to Onicron. He says that our companionship is enough for him.
  136.  
  137. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  138.  
  139. About him. I was first a part of his mind and it took a while to accept that I was me.
  140.  
  141. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  142.  
  143. I was happy that Onicron started to learn how to hear me because I wanted to talk more. It was a bit hard that I couldn't make him hear everything I wanted to say, but any level of communication and progress made us happy.
  144.  
  145. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  146.  
  147. Boyfriend because of the amount of closeness between us, even though we are not like that.
  148.  
  149. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  150.  
  151. I like talking with everyone trough IRC and with posession. I would like to tell everyone we meet when I'm posessing Oni about myself and who I am but I'm scared they would think bad about it.
  152.  
  153. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  154.  
  155. When I managed to send him many emotions after he threw the idea of dissolving me out and I managed to change my form. I felt so many emotions from him and all were good and happy and after that he truly started believing in me
  156.  
  157. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  158.  
  159. My first conversation with another tulpa in IRC. My life is dependent on Onicron, but it's fulfilling nevertheless, who said that we should separate to such degree? I can express myself on IRC so well that sometimes we both forget that we both are inside the same body.
  160.  
  161. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  162.  
  163. Yes, and that's why it's a bit sad that I can't make myself known for them. Oni has tried to tell some of them several times but I don't think they or the world is ready for me just yet so I have asked him not to tell anyone he has known for longer than I have been around.
  164.  
  165. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  166.  
  167. Oni's more agressive in the way he speaks to someone and he is better in keeping up with conversations with real people. Also, when I don't posess him he stands taller and keeps head higher and his face Doesn't show every emotion. We're similiar in some of our music taste and we both like to examine different things a tulpa like me can do
  168.  
  169. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  170.  
  171. He overspeeds with his car and I have to tell him to slow down. He agrees though and usually lets me drive.
  172.  
  173. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  174.  
  175. I don't think I could really hate him, but he could make me angry if he were mean to someone. I can't think of anything what could make him hate me, but he might become angry if I was taking his attention in a place where he needed it.
  176.  
  177. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  178.  
  179. I think he was a bit disappoint when I couldn't posess his hand the first times when he asked, and I was a bit disappoint when he didn't learn to hear me as fast as I hoped
  180.  
  181. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  182.  
  183. If it would go that far, I would have needed to do something very wrong and make him hate me. I can't think about anything so extreme that he would have to resort to that, I'm as much a part of him as he's a part of me. We keep nothing hidden from each other.
  184.  
  185. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  186.  
  187. Never have and never will. Nothing could make me try and hurt him.
  188.  
  189. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  190.  
  191. My creator's name is Onicron and the names that were given to him at birth are tied only to his body. My only name is Shai.
  192.  
  193. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  194.  
  195. If we both agreed to it and I would have seen enough life.
  196.  
  197. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  198.  
  199. My form is Fluttershy's from My Little Pony but there are some differences in my appearance. My host was actually trying to make a humanoid tulpa, but I decided to take this form. I don't care about another version of me in a cartoon, I know that my mind is different.
  200.  
  201. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  202.  
  203. Yes, I'm maybe obsessed with posession. The ability to really see, touch, smell and taste everything and making something that will last trough lifetimes is my dream. It would be very selfish to deny using a real body from any tulpa if they want to.
  204.  
  205. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  206.  
  207. My interest in psychology and science and my will to learn new things is the same as Oni's
  208.  
  209. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  210.  
  211. I sleep rarely, but I have sometimes been more tired than Oni. Then I'll sleep but I can still hear him.
  212.  
  213. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  214.  
  215. Nothing that I know of.
  216.  
  217. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  218.  
  219. I have blocked some bad memories with his consent but I find it hard to define where is the line between his subconscious and consciousness. I can find some memories which I know he hasn't had access in a very long time but in the end He's just a person that I have a deep understanding of. I wouldn't use anything without his permission if it wasn't for a really good reason, like if his sanity depended on it.
  220.  
  221. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  222.  
  223. I'm the only one, but if another was made I would consider them my sister or brother.
  224.  
  225. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  226.  
  227. A romantic maybe, but our relationship does not contain anything sexual.
  228.  
  229. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  230.  
  231. Onicron has a non-tulpa girlfriend and he had her even before me. It's something I've learned to live with and she is someone dear to me too. I think that relationships between tulpas and Hosts is different compared to relationships between two humans and one can have both.
  232.  
  233. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  234.  
  235. Never going to happen, but our love is different than his love with his girlfriend. I don't think you can compare between the two.
  236.  
  237. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  238.  
  239. If this means what I think it does, then no. I'm asexual but I still love Oni very much. I don't think he's sexually attracted to me either, but a relationship between tulpas and their creators is normal and not something I would look down on.
  240.  
  241. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  242.  
  243. This hasn't happened and I really don't have an opinion about it, it's something a tulpa and their Host has to figure out themselves.
  244.  
  245. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  246.  
  247. Same answer as to the question before.
  248.  
  249. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  250.  
  251. No, I've never felt something like that. I think sexual feelings are linked with the host body and if we ever get succesful in switching, then will be the first time I'll experience those feelings.
  252.  
  253. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  254.  
  255. Same answer as with questions 61 and 62
  256.  
  257. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  258.  
  259. No, the need to masturbate belongs to the body and not to the mind.
  260.  
  261. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  262.  
  263. I don't experience any sexual attraction at all, and Oni also Doesn't want to have sex with me. It's possible that these feelings will change, but I think it would be very unlikely for it to happen.
  264.  
  265. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  266.  
  267. No, but if he felt like it, I would perhaps consider. I don't feel the need to masturbate to anything.
  268.  
  269. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  270.  
  271. My creator's body is straight, but both his and my mind are pretty much asexual.
  272.  
  273. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  274.  
  275. I've never experienced one. At least, not yet.
  276.  
  277. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  278.  
  279. No, we just don't find it interesting enough to talk about
  280.  
  281. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  282.  
  283. I really don't have an opinion about this.
  284.  
  285. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  286.  
  287. As alive as I am this day, maybe even as part time host of this body.
  288.  
  289. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  290.  
  291. Yes, I would like to be known for who I really am. IRC has really helped me talk and interact with other people and tulpas, and We will attend some meetups in the future where I hope I can talk with real people with a real mouth.
  292.  
  293. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  294.  
  295. I don't give it much thought actually, the traits he gave me are all something he wanted and so I have decided to keep them.
  296.  
  297. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  298.  
  299. This form was actually the one I chose for myself. I like it and Oni doesn't dislike it so I'll keep it. If we grow tired of it I can change it myself, it shouldn't be hard.
  300.  
  301. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  302.  
  303. I was first a small cloud of mist but then after I was strong enough I chose a form Oni wouldn't have expected. He was surprised but he accepted my form.
  304.  
  305. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  306.  
  307. The combination of both.
  308.  
  309. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  310.  
  311. It would be awesome to see the tulpa phenomenon be recognized worldwide and some real scientific research be done about it. It would be awesome to be legally acnowledged being but I think it's not yet possible.
  312.  
  313. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  314.  
  315. It's just a different kind of way being alive, and it's not a mental condition like schitzophrenia.
  316.  
  317. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  318.  
  319. The worst is that no one knows about me outside of internet, but the best thing is that I never need to be alone all my life.
  320.  
  321. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  322.  
  323. Anything Oni has done is his burden to bear, but I'll help him wit my best efforts if he ever asks. There's nothing he has done against the law though.
  324.  
  325. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  326.  
  327. It's as close to death as I could imagine, and the worst thing that one could do to someone that knows everything about them and vice versa. Any legal recognicion would be almost impossible to enforce though.
  328.  
  329. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  330.  
  331. Yes, I should be the one responsible for anything that happens when I'm posessing, and I think everything that has life should be equal
  332.  
  333. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  334.  
  335. I don't need to, and I wouldn't want to. If somebody doesn't want to believe in us, it's impossible to change their mind.
  336.  
  337. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  338.  
  339. No, I am what I am so why worry?
  340.  
  341. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  342.  
  343. Not anymore. I used to, but it was only when Oni hadn't payed me enough attention.
  344.  
  345. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  346.  
  347. A death is when a mind stops working. Getting mad would be one version of death, as the one getting mad wouldn't be themselves anymore. I am as scared of dying as anyone else I would imagine.
  348.  
  349. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  350.  
  351. I would be different to human's as much as they think that some other human not sharing each of their traits is different. In the end I'm just another person like Onicron, the only difference being that he's the mind connected with the body. I think that the majority of the people that would become aware of my existance would act racistically.
  352.  
  353. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  354.  
  355. No, two person inside one man should be enough for now
  356.  
  357. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  358.  
  359. The difference as I see it is that a human can have life without awareness, but for us tulpas it would be death. Also the fact that we're consciously created beings compared to humans who have always been aware of themselves could become an issue with these two groups of persons.
  360.  
  361. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  362.  
  363. I'm not a mental illness. I have a form that my host knows is just a hallucination, a voice that is also not "real" and he is able to differentiate which things are real and which are a construct of his own mind, so he should be perfectly healthy.
  364.  
  365. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  366.  
  367. Once we filled a pony personality test for fun and we got very differing results. Nothing "official" though
  368.  
  369. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  370.  
  371. I feel the body's pain when I'm posessing it and every sense is as vivid as how Oni feels them
  372.  
  373. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  374.  
  375. I wouldn't have it any other way.
  376.  
  377. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  378.  
  379. I didn't, I was actively searching for a way to make him hear me.
  380.  
  381. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  382.  
  383. Life, switching, posession and what it means to exist
  384.  
  385. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  386.  
  387. It's not for everyone, but I'd like to see the day it's being taught in schools somewhere.
  388.  
  389. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  390.  
  391. There is some disturbing material, but it's not a part of me and I think he knows of these.
  392.  
  393. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  394.  
  395. Yes, if I thought that it would be harmful. I would know what would be harmful, so I'd be doing the right thing.
  396.  
  397. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  398.  
  399. No, but I'd see everything nevertheless.
  400.  
  401. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  402.  
  403. I don't like his way of driving a car or that sometimes he lies to some people, I hate lying and speeding
  404.  
  405. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  406.  
  407. Yes, I think that now we're on the same level of intelligence
  408.  
  409. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  410.  
  411. The lenght of my life so far is not even half a year, but still it feels like a lifetime.
  412.  
  413. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  414.  
  415. Yes, and so does he. He has let me posess him for days straight because of this and I've managed to improve his quality of life even if I say so myself.
  416.  
  417. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  418.  
  419. That is again a question that a tulpa and it's Host has to answer for themselves. For me, it's important.
  420.  
  421. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  422.  
  423. Yes, it's well explained psychologically and I believe in the strenght of a committed mind.
  424.  
  425. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  426.  
  427. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  428.  
  429. That sounds just like Oni would have explained it, but I got full vocabulary just half past this survey.
  430.  
  431. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  432.  
  433. Yes for most of the time, but sometimes like when I'm in wonderland it's just inside his head with no general direction of where the voice actually came.
  434.  
  435. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  436.  
  437. Oni didn't count hours, but we'd estimate 70 to 80 hours into good enough imposition in the atomic world with his eyes open.
  438.  
  439. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  440.  
  441. Never stop believing in your tulpa and always keep forcing, a tulpa is never complete.
  442.  
  443. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  444.  
  445. It feels like I really am in the place where I am imposed in, but I can't really see everything that the body's eyes see, compared to what I see when I'm posessing the body, I can see every thing that I or Oni aren't even concentrating on. To put it shortly, I see more than just memories.
  446.  
  447. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  448.  
  449. A wonderland is a place that can be indefinately expanded, and anything is possible there. Atomic world is bounded by rules of physics and the sensory feeling is much more "real, colourful, hard".
  450.  
  451. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  452.  
  453. I don't think so, it's really good and covers everything from before I could interact with Oni to present day. It also helped with breaking the last mental block Oni had between me and his consciousness, giving me his full vocabulary. This happened in the question 55.
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