In that season of New Year, I hope you stay in good health.
I would like to express my gratitude to you for visiting such person as I. I cannot apologize enough for not being able to meet your expectations and greet you properly.
I beg you to forgive me. I would like to quietly live my life in this land. Even if it's but a shadow of its former self, I do not plan on parting with the Kyougetsu village.
Moving to the new capital... I do not think there exists a place for me and do not wish for it to exist.
Of course, I do understand your concerns about me. I took this brush in hand thinking of how can I express my gratitude to you.
To clear our stigma... that was what you said, isn't it? I received your writing, and I've read it.
Although a bit lengthy, and filled with extreme expressions... But yes, it is quite close to the truth, especially the parts expressing the temperament of Rindou-sama.
An extremely honest and selfless... fish can't live in the water too pure, right? It seemed sometimes that in her noble resolve to be a military leader, she sometimes forgot how to breathe.
And because of that her rightfulness, there were some who couldn't bear being around her. Yes, this, once again, is quite correct. At that time, for us, Rindou-sama looked like an insane heretic. An ally whom we could not ever understand — yes, I certainly cannot deny it.
And yet... or should I say, because of that?
Me, my dear brother, and Habaki-sama — we deeply respected Rindou-sama. Of course, no different from us were Soujirou-sama, Yakou-sama, Ryuusui-sama, and Shiori-sama. Or at least that's how I've seen it.
Rindou-sama was called a patriot, a hero, and we — traitors and villains. But now that we became figures in history, what was the truth... I do not think it actually matters.
I apologize for such unsightly words, I do not intend to make light of your ideas. You wish to teach the truth of the past to the young ones who will shoulder the future of this country. This truly is a noble intent.
But think of it in a different way. Will your dear pupils starve to death without tomorrow's breakfast? Or will the freeze to death in a simple piece of crude kimono in this cold season? Do they suffer in solitude, not having a family?
No, of course, it isn't like that. The ones just born do not know right from wrong. And so this country will become nothing other but what you will teach them.
So, with that, I am satisfied. The dream that me — Kyougetsu Sakuya — had since childhood, is now fulfilled.
Speaking plainly, we were already saved. In the Eastern Expedition led by Rindou-sama, when we awakened to our first, clumsy yet earnest love — in that very moment.
The fact that we asked for a reward I would not deny. But that was just so we could live. For us, born distorted, I believe it was necessary to have at least a simple human happiness. Even more so, for my dear brother, who bestowed his love on me, Sakuya...
I beg your pardon, I'll stop it now. It's just unsightly for an old woman like me to brag about her love, isn't it?
What I actually want to say is: the world we wished for in the old days is not there. You, who live in the present age, of course, might be dissatisfied by something, but that, again, is something to be settled by the present generation. We, people of old, shouldn't step up here.
But, I also think of that Golden Memory so dear to us, the old shining days, the bright scenery that would never lose its colors.
That fierce and gruesome, a tragedy one doesn't want to see... still, looking back at it, I do think it was beautiful. Enjoyable, happy, dream-like visage.
And so I ask you, my dear gentle friend, from the far, far future: would you mind to stay and listen to that dream-like story of Sakuya?
But you shouldn't laugh at it. Although this is a story no one in this world would believe in.
For sure, it might look for you like some malicious lie. Or at very least, an illusion far from the official history. A story of the distorted land.
If one calls it a fantasy fiction, it would probably be the most correct. So if you're at the age to enjoy such works, it would surely be entertaining to you.
Well then, should we begin? The introduction turned out to be quite lengthy, but ahead even longer sentences await us.
Although my skill is close to that of Yakou, I believe I am proficient enough to be sure that you would not wish to stop reading half-way in. After all, my dear brother is also not very fond of long complex stories.
Shiori-sama and Rindou-sama would probably summarize it in couple sentences, and Ryuusui-sama... she would just stop right away while complaining about something. I wonder how Soujirou-sama would go about it... Habaki-sama surely would change everything in a joke-like story.
A-ah, truly lovely they are, my kindred spirits, my comrades, and how proud of them I am. I promised to stop that bragging, but I beg you to forgive me, for now my heart is that of a young maiden I was back then.
Now, stopping my brush for a second, I hear the faint sound of falling snow. And I remember the foreknowledge.
Yes, foreknowledge. Back in those days, I didn't know such thing, or rather, such concept itself did not exist in this world.
Does it sound strange to you? Does it make you tilt your head in puzzlement? However, it would be even harder to grasp what awaits further ahead.
For example, Sansara or Ashura Realm, Imperfect Paradise or Eight Great Hells... the absolute end people arrive at. The finale of the soul. The concepts of what awaits you after death. Regardless of how authentic those concepts are, they are a common sense for you.
But in the age where we lived, such things were nowhere to find.
Try imagining it. A world without punishment, without salvation or restoration, a wicked world like that. A world where Law [god] doesn't exist.
Death is but darkness. The world of avidya, where no devotion could be born. And the anxiety was also nonexistent.
The latent experience people bear from the very beginning — something that shackles by the thought "something is watching from above" — did not exist.
Everyone is their own master.
Simply speaking, everyone is as good as god. And I was no exception — I lived with just myself, Kyougetsu Sakuya as the ultimate law in the world. How dangerous such a thing is, I do not need to tell you.
Narcissistic personality disorder — so, that is how it called nowadays. The deep analysis of us in your work honestly amazes me. At the age we lived in, that was a very natural, normal way of life.
According to Yakou-sama, is was called "Realm of Tengu". And this is the story of our life in such a world.
That ill-natured onmyouji-dono, glamorous, very genuine yet impure, who amongst us all was the most well-adapted to the world of Tengu, said:
God is unnecessary.
And Rindou said:
People need god.
Shiori and Soujirou:
Someone more suitable should become a god.
Weird, isn't it? With the opinions being all over the place like that, I do not know what
But for me, no matter how and to which conclusion they would've arrived in the end, this scene was very charming.
What Habaki-sama and my dear brother said there... I won't tell you just yet. Of course, along with my own opinion.
I would've liked to hear what you think while you're reading those lines. From now on, it's untold history.
Yes, it started on the New Year. Just like now, the town of Hotsuma was covered by the snow.
Our meeting. Our destiny. Thinking back now, that might've been a moment when everything was decided.
To disappear like this snow is the spring comes.
Be scattered away, like a momentary flower bearing no fruit, blooming out of season...