Boys vs. Girls (2019) EN

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1
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This was the summer
before it all went wrong.

2
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British!

3
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That's me, Dale,
Boys' Camp section head.

4
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Bulldog!

5
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,435
And that's my best friend, Ben,
in his element.

6
00:03:22,469 --> 00:03:26,974
Boys' camp, for the entire month,
every summer. Here, he was a king.

7
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:35,448
But during the rest of the year...
a different story.

8
00:03:37,018 --> 00:03:39,020
The game was British Bulldog.

9
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One guy starts in the middle,
everyone else to one side,

10
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the goal being to cross to the
other side without being touched.

11
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I say touched, 'cause that's
what's in the brochure.

12
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And that's the display we put on
for the parents on visitor's day.

13
00:03:55,803 --> 00:04:00,808
But in reality... chaos.

14
00:04:04,145 --> 00:04:09,583
But no matter what drama occurred, all
was forgiven and forgotten minutes later.

15
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:16,456
Often the magical juices of the freezie would
enable any residual grudge to melt away.

16
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:20,027
Come on, top bunks!
Two more outs and we got this!

17
00:04:20,061 --> 00:04:23,030
- I call grape!
- Me too! Grape!

18
00:04:23,064 --> 00:04:26,566
- If there's only one grape, I get it.
- Oh, fuck that!

19
00:04:26,601 --> 00:04:28,435
Fuck that? Man, fuck you!

20
00:04:28,468 --> 00:04:30,972
Hey! Language!

21
00:04:31,005 --> 00:04:34,976
A ninth inning could take forever sometimes,
kids jockeying for freezie flavors.

22
00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,577
But that's the difference
between boys and girls.

23
00:04:37,612 --> 00:04:40,681
Guys can beat the shit out of each
other and moments later, best friends.

24
00:04:40,715 --> 00:04:44,685
Girls? Well, if you don't like
their new jeans and it's...

25
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:45,686
Bitch!

26
00:04:47,088 --> 00:04:48,623
Hose-bag!

27
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,458
That's me, Amber.

28
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Calm down, ladies!
What the hell is going on here?

29
00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:54,762
- Those jeans make her look fat!
- Carla said that these jeans make me look fat!

30
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,764
Glorified baby-sitter.

31
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,666
- They don't make you look that fat.
- They don't.

32
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,801
- You look perfect, Stacey.
- I love you.

33
00:05:00,835 --> 00:05:02,970
I love you.

34
00:05:03,004 --> 00:05:04,772
I can't tell the difference between
your bum, and your front bum.

35
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,074
It's like two bums.

36
00:05:07,108 --> 00:05:09,877
Come on girls, remember,
if you can't say anything nice,

37
00:05:09,911 --> 00:05:12,079
- don't say any...
- Fuck off!

38
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Language! Jesus fuck.

39
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- Fuck you, virgin!
- I'm not a virgin!

40
00:05:18,219 --> 00:05:20,587
- Get off me.
- Stacey, get off me bitch.

41
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- Kick her ass.
- This would go on for hours,

42
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and it would end in tears
and candles.

43
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:30,597
I just want to say that
I truly love all of you.

44
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:35,736
I just wanted to say that I truly
do feel like you're all my sisters,

45
00:05:35,770 --> 00:05:38,172
and I respect that bond.

46
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:43,044
I just wanted to say
that I love all of you guys

47
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:48,249
and that I don't think you should ever
change and that you should respect yourself,

48
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because they can't
ever take that away from you.

49
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I just want to add in, if I can.

50
00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,757
I feel like
you are all my sisters,

51
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,927
and that at the end of the day,
we have each other,

52
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:01,494
and that's truly what love is.

53
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:11,571
I just wanted to add to that that I truly
do respect everything you're saying,

54
00:06:11,605 --> 00:06:18,179
and that this just goes to show
how our bond is truly everlasting,

55
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and that's forever, guys.

56
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:29,724
Thanks, Dany.

57
00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:36,897
But it was great, all of August, we got to
be our true selves, just girls, no boys.

58
00:06:36,931 --> 00:06:38,833
And that's just the way
we liked it,

59
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,936
the whole month of July,
just testosterone, no girls.

60
00:06:46,674 --> 00:06:48,776
- Roger.
- Sit the fuck down.

61
00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:58,919
Listen, Dale,
starting next summer,

62
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Camp Kindlewood,
is going to be co-ed.

63
00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:07,094
Wait, is that when we can
earn school credit?

64
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,230
No.

65
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:14,101
- That's when two girls kiss each other, isn't it?
- No, it isn't.

66
00:07:14,135 --> 00:07:16,003
Yes, I'm pretty sure it is.

67
00:07:16,037 --> 00:07:19,340
- I got this VHS tape at home...
- No, Dale.

68
00:07:19,373 --> 00:07:21,742
The camp will be co-ed.

69
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:25,079
There will be boys and girls, the
same site, for the entirety of summer.

70
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,214
Huh.

71
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,984
And that means there will probably
have to be some changes made.

72
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,685
Yeah, changes, like what?

73
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:33,254
No more naked morning dips.

74
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:39,293
What... that's how we wake up
in the morning!

75
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,362
And clean the cracks!

76
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:47,034
Yeah, well... and also,
no more peeing wherever you happen to be.

77
00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:55,276
- You mean we gotta walk to the washrooms?
- Yes.

78
00:07:55,309 --> 00:07:58,279
- Even for number one?
- Specifically, number one!

79
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,781
- So, number two we can just...
- No!

80
00:08:00,815 --> 00:08:04,785
Both numbers, all numbers, one, two,
forty-three, all go into the washroom!

81
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:07,188
Well, Roger, that's going to
cut into our daily schedule.

82
00:08:07,221 --> 00:08:11,225
Well, add this to your schedule.
No more firekeepers.

83
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,860
What?

84
00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,361
This was the tipping point.

85
00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:15,863
Firekeepers was our
rite of passage.

86
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:20,734
Our mildly homoerotic
end-of-summer manhood ceremony.

87
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,703
So, basically, what you're
saying right now is that

88
00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:26,073
anything involving our
penises... penii... dicks,

89
00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:28,042
whatever, is just off the table.

90
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:30,811
- Well, your dicks were never on the table.
- Metaphorically.

91
00:08:30,845 --> 00:08:33,681
Then metaphorically, yes.
Your dicks are now off the table.

92
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:38,185
Okay, if that's a metaphor, then in
reality we can put our dicks on the table?

93
00:08:38,219 --> 00:08:40,020
You are such an ass-wipe!

94
00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,155
You know what I mean.

95
00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:43,224
No, I don't know what you mean.

96
00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:46,794
The camp is going to be co-ed
next summer.

97
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,129
Do you want me to
kiss another girl?

98
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,363
No!

99
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:58,339
No, no, no, no. What it means
is, instead of just boys in July,

100
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:01,876
and just girls in August,

101
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:06,947
there will be both
boys and girls in the camp,

102
00:09:06,981 --> 00:09:09,116
this camp, all together.

103
00:09:09,150 --> 00:09:11,752
Why are you emphasizing
every other word like that?

104
00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,989
I'm just trying to set this up,
so it's clear.

105
00:09:16,257 --> 00:09:18,692
So, why are you telling me?

106
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:22,463
I need your help to get the necessary
buy-in from the other female staff,

107
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:26,267
you know, for the inevitable
changes that are coming.

108
00:09:26,300 --> 00:09:28,002
Like what exactly?

109
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:31,405
Well, no more
condom balloon fights.

110
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,846
And definitely
no more tomacocking.

111
00:09:41,215 --> 00:09:43,484
Great. So anything emasculating.

112
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:46,020
Yes, basically.

113
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:49,990
That reminds me.
No more full moon sacrifices.

114
00:09:51,158 --> 00:09:55,196
That's Dany.
She has mad wicked skills.

115
00:09:58,232 --> 00:10:00,334
So you knew about that?

116
00:10:00,367 --> 00:10:03,037
So it wasn't a dream! Ha!

117
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:07,474
...which is what we
learned in the last chapter.

118
00:10:07,508 --> 00:10:09,910
With boys in July
and girls in August,

119
00:10:09,944 --> 00:10:11,912
this was actually the first time
Dale and I met.

120
00:10:11,946 --> 00:10:14,515
You're gonna end up with
one or two options...

121
00:10:14,548 --> 00:10:15,816
Shit.

122
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,019
Hey.

123
00:10:20,321 --> 00:10:21,255
Thank you.

124
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:24,892
What?

125
00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:28,395
I've got a 10-pack, so it's...

126
00:10:36,170 --> 00:10:37,972
Smooth move, Ex-Lax.

127
00:10:49,550 --> 00:10:50,818
Oh, God!

128
00:11:10,137 --> 00:11:13,507
Hey, nice Bela Lugosi.

129
00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:18,078
Yeah, well, the party store was
all out of Kiefer Sutherland, so.

130
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:27,121
I see they were overstocked
on sexy nurse, sexy witch...

131
00:11:27,154 --> 00:11:28,956
I guess that, what is that?

132
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:31,325
Sexy, neglectful zombie mother?

133
00:11:32,593 --> 00:11:34,828
I don't know how I feel
about that one.

134
00:11:35,963 --> 00:11:38,232
Well, come on. Let's go
have some fun. Let's go.

135
00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:40,534
- I don't know. I don't know. I mean...
- Come on.

136
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:43,971
...look, you got all the moves, right?
I don't think I could keep up with that.

137
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:46,507
Well, I can't keep them off
much longer.

138
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,575
You gotta,
you gotta make your move.

139
00:11:48,610 --> 00:11:52,212
You know, I... I don't know.
I think a Slutty Kitten can do... sexy.

140
00:11:52,246 --> 00:11:56,083
Fuck, I meant to say sexy. You're not
a slut, obviously, you're not a slut.

141
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,620
- Right?
- Wow.

142
00:11:58,653 --> 00:12:02,356
I meant... fuck!

143
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:09,063
And that's... time.
Pencils down.

144
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,565
Truthfully, I hadn't
given Dale a second thought

145
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,934
until he opened his big mouth
again.

146
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,170
There was no turning back
from this.

147
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,907
- Hey! Amber! Um...
- What?

148
00:12:19,940 --> 00:12:23,177
- Sorry, it's... it is Amber?
- Yeah, I mean, obviously.

149
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,079
I turned around
when you said Amber.

150
00:12:25,112 --> 00:12:27,514
Sorry. Okay, look.

151
00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:32,353
Um, I just think that it's fine for you to...
to ignore me all year and... and hate me,

152
00:12:32,386 --> 00:12:36,957
if I called you a slut. But, I didn't.
I... I just misspoke.

153
00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,959
Is this supposed to be
an apology?

154
00:12:38,992 --> 00:12:41,128
No. That's what I'm saying.

155
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:43,897
You see, I've been punished with
silence and dirty looks all year.

156
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:45,165
But I didn't even
do the crime, right?

157
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:48,302
It was like a...
like a Freud-slip-thing.

158
00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:51,271
Right. Well, you can't just go around
calling girls slutty, and expect...

159
00:12:51,305 --> 00:12:54,908
I didn't, that's the thing,
right? I... I didn't.

160
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:59,179
I'm serving the sentence right
now, but look, like...

161
00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:02,617
I should now, like retroactively get
to call you a slut at a future date,

162
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:06,320
to justify the punishment that
you've given me in advance.

163
00:13:06,353 --> 00:13:08,288
Wow. Alright, well,
good luck with that,

164
00:13:08,322 --> 00:13:10,991
but I'm gonna go off to my camp
this summer,

165
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,628
so this is gonna have to wait
until the fall term.

166
00:13:14,729 --> 00:13:16,263
What camp do you go to?

167
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,385
That's Tiffany.

168
00:13:38,419 --> 00:13:40,554
She thought penicillin was
a fashion statement.

169
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:44,224
Love you more.
Okay, love you, Daddy. Bye.

170
00:13:47,729 --> 00:13:49,631
I think I need to
go to the clinic.

171
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,338
That's Donna.

172
00:13:58,372 --> 00:14:00,407
She read in a magazine once that there's
all these ratios in the human face

173
00:14:00,441 --> 00:14:02,109
that determine
if we're attractive or not,

174
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:05,546
and that's why models are always
tilting their head to the side,

175
00:14:05,579 --> 00:14:08,315
so the brain can't pick up
on the ratios as much.

176
00:14:18,693 --> 00:14:22,996
Thanks, Mr. Coffee.
Alright, ladies, let's go meet the boys.

177
00:14:35,777 --> 00:14:38,045
We were ready to stake
our claim to the camp.

178
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:42,316
But we planted our flag first,
"Say Anything" style.

179
00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,720
Remember what we discussed.
Girls rule, boys drool.

180
00:14:48,756 --> 00:14:52,192
Okay. Don't forget.
Bros before hoes.

181
00:14:52,226 --> 00:14:54,495
Sistas before mistas.

182
00:14:54,528 --> 00:14:56,230
Dicks before chicks.

183
00:14:56,263 --> 00:14:59,801
Snitches get stitches.

184
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:04,639
Gas, grass or ass.
Nobody rides for free. Let's go!

185
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,351
Hello, counselors.

186
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:20,387
Well, we are in for
an exciting summer.

187
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:27,094
As you well know, and can plainly
see, and smell, we have gone co-ed.

188
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:31,164
Now I myself am very excited
over this change,

189
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:36,303
and the future prosperity it can
and will bring to this camp.

190
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:42,109
Of course, I am anticipating that
not everything will go smooth-ly,

191
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:47,180
so we've added some modules
to the usual training week.

192
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:50,551
Oh, we have Gary here
from corporate,

193
00:15:50,584 --> 00:15:54,622
and he is going to lead us
through some sensitivity training.

194
00:15:55,857 --> 00:15:57,224
Gary!

195
00:16:04,598 --> 00:16:06,701
Okay... it's too loud.

196
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:11,438
That's so loud, that hurts.

197
00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,507
I can't hear you,
the music's too loud!

198
00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:17,377
That's right, it, it's too loud.

199
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,814
You're hurting the children.

200
00:16:22,717 --> 00:16:28,221
No, not up! Down! It's too loud!

201
00:16:28,255 --> 00:16:29,757
It's too...

202
00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:33,861
Okay.

203
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:42,235
It's too quiet now,
it doesn't work.

204
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:46,573
There's no, there's no beat, it doesn't...
there's nothing to this anymore.

205
00:16:47,942 --> 00:16:52,346
Hi, team. I'm Gary, with a Y.
You can call me Gar.

206
00:16:52,379 --> 00:16:57,517
So, what I'm gonna do for the next
few hours is guide you on a journey

207
00:16:57,551 --> 00:17:03,758
through tolerance and awareness so that you
have a better understanding of other sex.

208
00:17:05,793 --> 00:17:11,231
Sexes. So you have an understanding
of other, um, genders.

209
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,267
Okay, so little ice breaker
first.

210
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,470
What we're gonna do is we're
gonna divide into two groups.

211
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,474
We're gonna have boys and then,
drumroll please, what's next, girls.

212
00:17:22,677 --> 00:17:24,846
Good. Well, that's a good start.

213
00:17:24,879 --> 00:17:27,547
Okay, so what we're gonna do
is we're gonna do some skits.

214
00:17:27,581 --> 00:17:32,787
These skits are a way to promote a healthy
lifestyle to someone from the opposite gender.

215
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:35,288
So, here's how we're gonna
break this down:

216
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:41,595
Boys, you're gonna help the ladies
understand better sun safety.

217
00:17:41,629 --> 00:17:44,297
Ladies, the boys,
so I've been told,

218
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:48,535
they're having trouble figuring out
appropriate footwear to wear on a hike.

219
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:52,539
Okay, you have thirty minutes,
help each other out. Go!

220
00:17:58,412 --> 00:18:04,819
- Hey, I see you!
- Shit. Yo, just play it cool. Play it cool.

221
00:18:04,852 --> 00:18:06,654
I still see you!

222
00:18:08,956 --> 00:18:10,390
Donna, right?

223
00:18:11,491 --> 00:18:15,429
Yeah, my, my name is Donna.
I... I am Donna.

224
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:18,733
Look, we've got something fun planned, so... so
we just want to borrow some of your clothes.

225
00:18:19,667 --> 00:18:21,602
We'll bring them right back
after the skit.

226
00:18:22,637 --> 00:18:25,640
Is that okay, Don-don?

227
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:33,313
- Yeah, it's like, totally okay.
- Cool.

228
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:36,583
- Okay, yeah.
- See you soon.

229
00:18:38,019 --> 00:18:39,419
Okay, bye!

230
00:18:43,024 --> 00:18:45,693
Girls, listen up.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

231
00:18:45,727 --> 00:18:49,396
Just breathe, slow down, it's okay.

232
00:18:49,429 --> 00:18:53,333
- What's going on?
- The boys, they took our clothes, our personal clothes.

233
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,036
They said they're gonna use them
for the skit!

234
00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:58,538
- I'm gonna chew their dicks off.
- No, they might like that.

235
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:01,508
No, you know what? It's okay.

236
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:04,045
The boys are planning on
getting us with this skit?

237
00:19:04,078 --> 00:19:05,412
We'll just have to
hit them first.

238
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,583
Okay, I am really excited
to see these!

239
00:19:09,617 --> 00:19:12,285
So, who's up first,
boys or girls?

240
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:15,589
Okay, ladies, you're up.

241
00:19:19,627 --> 00:19:23,064
So, Ben, how was your winter?

242
00:19:23,097 --> 00:19:25,532
- Good, yeah, yeah, pretty good.
- Good, good.

243
00:19:25,565 --> 00:19:29,536
- You know, actually, I had a real scare this morning.
- Oh?

244
00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:34,075
So, I... I wake up and I just...
I feel this, this hard lump.

245
00:19:34,108 --> 00:19:36,644
Immediately, I start...
I start freaking out.

246
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:38,913
I mean, it's cancer, it's gotta be cancer,
I mean, what else can it be, right?

247
00:19:38,946 --> 00:19:41,348
There goes my summer, there goes my
hair, you know, so on and so forth.

248
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,316
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah, exactly.

249
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,819
What happened?

250
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:48,321
Oh, no, no, no, it was just,
uh, I had a boner.

251
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,858
You know, like... like... like morning wood,
so I was just like "Whoa, what's that?"

252
00:19:50,892 --> 00:19:53,995
So, you know, I quickly finished and I rubbed
it on Hip-Hop's pillow before he could get up

253
00:19:54,028 --> 00:19:56,097
and called it a day, you know.

254
00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:58,065
Scary, scary in the moment,
though.

255
00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:06,439
Oh, yeah.

256
00:20:06,473 --> 00:20:08,542
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

257
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:12,412
Hey, guys, don't we have that,
uh, hike to the lighthouse today?

258
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,414
Yeah, yeah,
you're right.

259
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:17,952
Uh, what should we wear on our feet?
You know, for the hike?

260
00:20:18,853 --> 00:20:23,891
Maybe we should wear some sandals,
I mean, that seems appropriate.

261
00:20:24,892 --> 00:20:29,429
But you know, why wear sandals,
when you can just go barefoot?

262
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:41,909
Dany! I said barefoot,
not Bigfoot!

263
00:20:45,445 --> 00:20:47,014
- We got you.
- Burn.

264
00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:49,382
Yeah, burn.

265
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:51,619
Bravo, excellent.

266
00:20:51,652 --> 00:20:55,522
See, the ladies used sarcasm as a way
to get their footwear message across

267
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:59,093
while playfully poking fun at the boys.
Great job, ladies.

268
00:20:59,126 --> 00:21:02,395
Boys, can you beat that?

269
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:05,032
- Do you think they're pissed?
- I'm sure they can take a joke.

270
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,011
- Hey, Dany, how was your winter?
- Sucked.

271
00:21:17,044 --> 00:21:20,480
My mom is back with Barry, and he's a
fuckin' asshole and treats her like shit

272
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:21,949
but she deserves it.

273
00:21:21,983 --> 00:21:23,851
She made me clean my room
the other day,

274
00:21:23,885 --> 00:21:25,753
and now I can't find any of
my knives except for this one.

275
00:21:26,654 --> 00:21:28,723
And I know Barry
sold them.

276
00:21:28,756 --> 00:21:31,424
Next day he's buying super big
gulps instead of regular big gulps.

277
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,095
That assturd better
watch his six.

278
00:21:34,128 --> 00:21:37,965
Yeah, you ever tried pastels?

279
00:21:45,940 --> 00:21:49,810
Everybody have their sunscreen on?
'Cause it's time for the pool.

280
00:21:49,844 --> 00:21:52,613
SPF30 or higher I hope?

281
00:21:52,647 --> 00:21:53,848
Alright, let's get wet.

282
00:22:00,821 --> 00:22:04,859
- Priscilla, what's wrong?
- Nothing.

283
00:22:07,194 --> 00:22:09,596
Nothing?

284
00:22:09,630 --> 00:22:10,965
What do you mean nothing?

285
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:13,000
Why can't you come
to the pool with us?

286
00:22:13,034 --> 00:22:16,637
- I can't.
- What do you mean, why not?

287
00:22:17,872 --> 00:22:20,675
It's my crotch.

288
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,744
Your crotch?
What's wrong with it?

289
00:22:23,778 --> 00:22:26,113
It's bleeding.

290
00:22:26,147 --> 00:22:33,553
You see, when a girl reaches a certain age,
they get a special visitor every month.

291
00:22:33,586 --> 00:22:35,790
Why does this have to
happen to me?

292
00:22:35,823 --> 00:22:40,728
Well, you know at Halloween when you
dress up like a cat or a princess?

293
00:22:40,761 --> 00:22:43,197
Yeah.

294
00:22:43,230 --> 00:22:48,869
Well, your period means that you get to dress
up like a slutty cat, or a slutty princess.

295
00:22:48,903 --> 00:22:54,175
And this attracts the attention of boys,
and makes you feel better about yourself.

296
00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:58,112
Wow. I already feel better
about myself.

297
00:22:58,145 --> 00:23:00,748
And you know
who'll definitely understand?

298
00:23:00,781 --> 00:23:02,883
My boyfriend Ben.

299
00:23:02,917 --> 00:23:06,187
He's so handsome
and funny and smart.

300
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:08,155
He won't care that
I'm on my period.

301
00:23:08,189 --> 00:23:12,193
In fact, I call his penis Moses
'cause it can part the Red Sea.

302
00:23:14,061 --> 00:23:15,663
Enough!

303
00:23:15,696 --> 00:23:18,531
You, you, you, you,
to my office right now!

304
00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:21,969
Good luck this summer.
You're gonna need it.

305
00:23:22,003 --> 00:23:26,607
- But, the rest of the training?
- What's the point? I tried.

306
00:23:27,574 --> 00:23:29,043
I danced for you.

307
00:23:29,076 --> 00:23:31,779
But this place is
on the scrap-heap.

308
00:23:31,812 --> 00:23:33,848
You just made my job
a whole lot easier.

309
00:23:35,683 --> 00:23:37,251
What was that?

310
00:23:41,022 --> 00:23:42,990
So, what's up, you mad bro?

311
00:23:43,024 --> 00:23:48,195
No, I'm not mad, I'm pissed!

312
00:23:48,229 --> 00:23:50,765
This is awesome. You know,
it's like he's the chief of police,

313
00:23:50,798 --> 00:23:52,599
and we're like, you know,
the wild card cops that he's...

314
00:23:52,633 --> 00:23:54,902
- Shut it, Ben!
- Okay, that's good, go with that.

315
00:23:57,872 --> 00:24:01,709
Maybe it's all my fault, maybe I
let you guys get away with too much,

316
00:24:01,742 --> 00:24:06,213
when this was just a boys' camp,
but things have got to change.

317
00:24:06,247 --> 00:24:12,620
I cannot stress how important it is for
this co-ed thing to work, you got it?

318
00:24:12,653 --> 00:24:14,955
Well, truthfully, no,
we don't got it.

319
00:24:14,989 --> 00:24:18,959
'Cause like, think about it,
if we did get it,

320
00:24:18,993 --> 00:24:23,864
then we probably wouldn't have done
that hateful sexist skit, right?

321
00:24:25,766 --> 00:24:30,671
Okay, Bo is pretty dumb, but his
looks have helped him out a lot in life.

322
00:24:36,377 --> 00:24:39,346
Seriously, we hate having
these chicks here, okay?

323
00:24:39,380 --> 00:24:42,683
We get our rocks off during the school
year but summer is for us to come up here,

324
00:24:42,716 --> 00:24:48,322
and... and... and like walk around
naked, listen to rap music.

325
00:24:49,690 --> 00:24:51,625
Word.

326
00:24:51,659 --> 00:24:54,195
Hip-Hop was always talking about
an album he was producing,

327
00:24:54,228 --> 00:24:57,898
but the only thing he ever shared with
us were mixtapes with original cover art.

328
00:24:57,932 --> 00:25:01,869
Look. I'll talk to the girls.

329
00:25:01,902 --> 00:25:04,271
I'll smooth things out
with them.

330
00:25:04,305 --> 00:25:07,007
But the campers are here
in a few days.

331
00:25:07,041 --> 00:25:10,377
We've gotta make this work,
right? Go team!

332
00:25:14,281 --> 00:25:16,884
Maybe we really should try
to make this work.

333
00:25:16,917 --> 00:25:18,652
Roger seems pretty desperate.

334
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:23,224
Hey, I need you guys to take your
shit out of the laundry room.

335
00:25:23,257 --> 00:25:26,360
I found some more pee-pee sleeping
bags from last summer I gotta wash.

336
00:25:26,393 --> 00:25:29,296
Well, it ain't our shit,
Mr. Coffee, try the chicks.

337
00:25:29,330 --> 00:25:32,833
Trust me. It's yours.

338
00:25:41,375 --> 00:25:42,910
Goddamn it!

339
00:25:49,116 --> 00:25:52,419
Hey. I don't remember
doing this!

340
00:25:52,453 --> 00:25:54,021
This was my favorite
turtle neck.

341
00:25:59,493 --> 00:26:03,664
No fabric softener. Fuckers.

342
00:26:05,166 --> 00:26:09,470
Okay, so what, you think some... some...
some crotchless jeans are going to stop us?

343
00:26:09,503 --> 00:26:11,405
No, no, no, no, it's on!

344
00:26:12,406 --> 00:26:15,142
No, it was on when you decided
to do a skit about our periods

345
00:26:15,176 --> 00:26:17,244
and my Halloween costuming
choices.

346
00:26:17,278 --> 00:26:19,013
Well, actually,
if you were paying attention,

347
00:26:19,046 --> 00:26:21,348
it wasn't necessarily
your Halloween costuming,

348
00:26:21,382 --> 00:26:24,785
it was an imagined scenario,
it was presented to Priscilla.

349
00:26:24,818 --> 00:26:27,421
Technically, we may have started
it, I mean, our skit was first.

350
00:26:27,454 --> 00:26:30,824
Oh! No, no, no, no, no,
sweetheart, we started it.

351
00:26:30,858 --> 00:26:33,794
Your skit was so lame and stupid
it didn't offend,

352
00:26:33,827 --> 00:26:35,796
so it doesn't even count
as starting it.

353
00:26:35,829 --> 00:26:38,465
Well, you may have started it,
but we're going to finish this.

354
00:26:38,499 --> 00:26:42,403
How, by cutting more material
away from our jeans?

355
00:26:42,436 --> 00:26:45,206
If you cut away any more,
they become jean shorts,

356
00:26:45,239 --> 00:26:47,408
and then they become
useful again.

357
00:26:49,076 --> 00:26:51,312
That is not
how we're gonna end it.

358
00:26:51,345 --> 00:26:54,048
We're gonna end it tonight. See you
guys have to fall asleep at some point,

359
00:26:54,081 --> 00:26:56,984
you guys can't stay up forever,
and when you guys do fall asleep,

360
00:26:57,017 --> 00:27:01,455
I'm going to come into your
cabin and bite your dicks off.

361
00:27:01,488 --> 00:27:04,525
I'm going to bite them off
so hard and so fast,

362
00:27:04,558 --> 00:27:07,995
there won't be a split second when you
guys feel some moist lips around your dick,

363
00:27:08,028 --> 00:27:09,897
and you think, "Hey,
I'm getting a dream blowie, sweet."

364
00:27:09,930 --> 00:27:12,466
I'm going to skip right
to the pain, right away.

365
00:27:12,499 --> 00:27:16,403
You guys will be dreaming, flying through
the air, or... or swimming, and then bam!

366
00:27:16,437 --> 00:27:20,307
Shark bites off your dick, or maybe
it's the flying one, and then bam!

367
00:27:20,341 --> 00:27:24,845
Helicopter blades, maybe you guys get
too close and bam, chops off your dick.

368
00:27:24,878 --> 00:27:27,548
And you're gonna wake up,
screaming in pain,

369
00:27:27,581 --> 00:27:30,384
and all you guys are gonna see
in the glimmering moonlight

370
00:27:30,417 --> 00:27:36,123
is the ruby red glow of your dick juices
coming out of the corners of my mouth!

371
00:27:42,463 --> 00:27:47,167
When the campers arrived, there was an
understood truce, but it wouldn't last long.

372
00:28:04,518 --> 00:28:06,854
Hey, Zack,
where's your bag, little dude?

373
00:28:07,554 --> 00:28:09,823
Bareback, I like it, brother.

374
00:28:13,294 --> 00:28:17,197
Hey, Zack, hope your redneck parents sent
you up with enough tuck money this year.

375
00:28:20,034 --> 00:28:23,605
Hey, Zack, were Jason and Karl
about to kiss? Yeah, I think that.

376
00:28:23,638 --> 00:28:26,373
Oh, my God! Oh, my God,
they were about to kiss!

377
00:28:26,407 --> 00:28:29,843
- Let me go, Ben!
- Or what, what? You're, you're gonna kiss Karl about it?

378
00:28:29,877 --> 00:28:32,579
No, I'll titty twist
your ass off!

379
00:28:32,614 --> 00:28:37,518
Whoa, hold up.
You'll titty twist my ass off?

380
00:28:37,551 --> 00:28:39,420
Shut up, you know what I meant.

381
00:28:39,453 --> 00:28:41,388
No, no, no, I'm gonna stand here
and let you explain it to me.

382
00:28:41,422 --> 00:28:45,159
You're gonna "titty twist
my ass off." Get outta here.

383
00:28:48,028 --> 00:28:50,931
Zack, you okay, buddy?
Where's your bag, man?

384
00:28:56,236 --> 00:28:59,440
- Stacey, how was your winter?
- It was really good.

385
00:28:59,473 --> 00:29:02,376
So I met this one guy
at school, he's like superhot.

386
00:29:02,409 --> 00:29:05,579
- Oh, my God! Did you make out?
- Kind of, but yeah.

387
00:29:05,613 --> 00:29:08,616
That's a sack, there's a sack,
that's a sack, here's a sack.

388
00:29:19,526 --> 00:29:22,129
Hey, you need a hand with that?

389
00:29:22,162 --> 00:29:24,031
No thanks, I got it.

390
00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:25,499
It's no trouble, I can...

391
00:29:25,532 --> 00:29:28,001
Excuse me, mista,
I want to do it on my own.

392
00:29:28,035 --> 00:29:29,503
I'm still growin', ya know.

393
00:29:32,172 --> 00:29:33,907
Wow, real mature, Dale.

394
00:29:33,941 --> 00:29:36,210
I... she wants to take it
on her own.

395
00:29:36,243 --> 00:29:40,047
- Thanks, Amber, my back was getting sore.
- I believe it.

396
00:29:52,694 --> 00:29:55,496
Alright, guys, hey, hey,
listen up, hey!

397
00:29:55,529 --> 00:29:57,364
Follow us, okay?

398
00:29:57,398 --> 00:30:00,601
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I hate that the girls are here,

399
00:30:00,635 --> 00:30:03,103
and we're going to destroy them
this summer.

400
00:30:05,038 --> 00:30:06,540
Agreed.

401
00:30:06,573 --> 00:30:08,942
♪ Umagada umagada
choo choo choo! ♪

402
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,544
- But the scenery is nice, you know?
- ♪ Umagada umagada ♪

403
00:30:10,577 --> 00:30:12,279
♪ Choo choo choo! ♪

404
00:30:13,715 --> 00:30:15,282
Agreed, yeah.

405
00:30:39,239 --> 00:30:44,679
♪ Give me a home
Where the buffalo roam ♪

406
00:30:44,712 --> 00:30:49,316
- Would you do him?
- Tiffany! Would I do him?

407
00:30:49,349 --> 00:30:52,386
Okay, fine, would you
third-base him?

408
00:30:52,419 --> 00:30:54,188
- Yes.
- Me too.

409
00:30:54,221 --> 00:30:59,761
♪ Seldom is heard
A discouraging word ♪

410
00:30:59,794 --> 00:31:04,465
♪ And the skies are
Not cloudy all day ♪

411
00:31:08,101 --> 00:31:13,775
Welcome campers to the opening campfire
of 1990 here at Camp Kindlewood!

412
00:31:19,379 --> 00:31:26,353
Now, as most of you already know by now, the
camp is now co-ed, which is a great thing!

413
00:31:29,691 --> 00:31:33,026
Obviously, there's going to be some programming
issues that we have to work through,

414
00:31:33,060 --> 00:31:37,498
but myself, the staff and your
counselors are totally committed

415
00:31:37,531 --> 00:31:42,302
to giving you a memorable
and safe summer.

416
00:31:44,171 --> 00:31:47,809
This... Jason, it, it's not a question
and answer period. Do you have to pee?

417
00:31:47,842 --> 00:31:51,411
Uh no, are we still going to be
doing Lumbermen versus Voyageurs?

418
00:31:51,445 --> 00:31:54,348
Oh, yes, absolutely, of course,
we are, Jason!

419
00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:57,785
Tomorrow after breakfast, we'll have
the traditional picking of the sides!

420
00:32:01,221 --> 00:32:02,189
I got an idea.

421
00:32:03,658 --> 00:32:05,325
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

422
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,295
I doubt it. I'm just...
I'm kinda high right now.

423
00:32:08,328 --> 00:32:10,063
So just feels good all over,
you know?

424
00:32:16,169 --> 00:32:18,640
- See?
- See what?

425
00:32:18,673 --> 00:32:19,841
It's a vagina!

426
00:32:19,874 --> 00:32:22,644
No, it's your hands.

427
00:32:22,677 --> 00:32:26,046
No, you idiot, it's a vagina!

428
00:32:26,814 --> 00:32:29,149
Okay, everyone,
brush your teeth and shit.

429
00:32:32,787 --> 00:32:34,756
Okay, so the shrooms
have worn off, what's this plan?

430
00:32:34,789 --> 00:32:36,691
Right. For the team
picking thing tomorrow,

431
00:32:36,724 --> 00:32:39,359
you know, when they divide up
Lumbermen and Voyageurs.

432
00:32:39,393 --> 00:32:42,329
We gotta make it so all the boys camps are
Lumbermen, and all the girls' camps are Voyageurs.

433
00:32:42,362 --> 00:32:44,364
Sworn. Accelerate the conflict.
I like it.

434
00:32:44,398 --> 00:32:46,199
But how are we gonna swing that?

435
00:32:46,233 --> 00:32:48,201
- Who picks the names from the hat?
- Mr. Coffee?

436
00:32:48,235 --> 00:32:51,138
Mr. Coffee.
And what does Mr. Coffee like?

437
00:32:51,171 --> 00:32:54,207
- Murder?
- No. What else?

438
00:32:55,208 --> 00:32:57,444
- Booze.
- Yes.

439
00:32:57,477 --> 00:33:00,213
Amber, could you help me?
I need two lines.

440
00:33:00,247 --> 00:33:02,416
This line,
night-time medications.

441
00:33:02,449 --> 00:33:05,753
And this line, "My head hurts",
"My throat hurts", "Oh, my God!

442
00:33:05,787 --> 00:33:09,122
I've got poison ivy,"
"Hey, is that crotch rash."

443
00:33:09,156 --> 00:33:12,593
Alright kids, you heard Mr. Coffee,
two lines. Come on.

444
00:33:15,162 --> 00:33:17,130
So, what do you think the boys
have planned for us today?

445
00:33:17,164 --> 00:33:19,333
I don't know, Tiff,
maybe if we just don't push it...

446
00:33:19,366 --> 00:33:22,502
Amber, if we wait on it, our guard will
be down, and that's when they get us.

447
00:33:23,705 --> 00:33:27,207
I get it, we go all
passive-aggressive.

448
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:31,679
You know like what if
we go on a sex strike?

449
00:33:33,447 --> 00:33:36,116
You haven't slept
with any of them, have you?

450
00:33:37,719 --> 00:33:40,888
Okay, sex strike might be
a little hard to pull off.

451
00:33:40,922 --> 00:33:44,224
One for you, one for me.

452
00:33:54,434 --> 00:33:56,871
I am a ghost!

453
00:33:58,372 --> 00:34:05,278
I was once a living person,
but then I died, so now I'm a ghost!

454
00:34:05,312 --> 00:34:07,581
Little redundant,
all that was implied.

455
00:34:08,950 --> 00:34:11,251
- Bahhhh.
- Boogadee Boo!

456
00:34:11,284 --> 00:34:14,388
Oh, fuck a cock!
Jesus, Coffee.

457
00:34:14,421 --> 00:34:18,191
You know, it's not nice
to scare people, in real life.

458
00:34:18,225 --> 00:34:20,862
Okay, look, we need
a favor from you, okay?

459
00:34:22,562 --> 00:34:24,699
Well, the price is right.

460
00:34:24,732 --> 00:34:26,199
What do you need?

461
00:34:26,233 --> 00:34:27,869
Well, look, we'll take care of
the how,

462
00:34:27,902 --> 00:34:31,873
but tomorrow, we need you to go
and rig the cabin selections

463
00:34:31,906 --> 00:34:33,608
for Lumbermen and Voyageurs,
okay?

464
00:34:34,809 --> 00:34:36,978
- Why?
- 'Cause we're going to make it Boys vs. Girls

465
00:34:37,011 --> 00:34:38,946
and take those hussies head on!

466
00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:41,883
Seems a little complex,
just to humiliate someone.

467
00:34:41,916 --> 00:34:43,550
Oh, yeah, how would you do it?

468
00:34:45,285 --> 00:34:49,724
Well, since you're asking I... I guess I
would ask them to meet me up someplace high,

469
00:34:49,757 --> 00:34:52,459
you know, like one of those
parking garage-type things.

470
00:34:52,492 --> 00:34:56,764
And I'd kinda, you know, as I'm talking
to them, move 'em closer to the edge,

471
00:34:56,798 --> 00:34:58,498
and make sure
I have solid footing.

472
00:34:58,532 --> 00:35:00,702
Then I'd kinda
push 'em off the roof.

473
00:35:00,735 --> 00:35:03,604
Then they'd, uh, you know,
fall to their deaths.

474
00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:07,008
And then I'd go around screaming "They jumped,
they jumped, I had nothing to do with it,

475
00:35:07,041 --> 00:35:09,576
it was one of those kind of
suicide-type things!"

476
00:35:11,578 --> 00:35:15,282
Coffee, you shouldn't be allowed to
work near children, you know that?

477
00:35:15,315 --> 00:35:16,617
Or people.

478
00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,552
I'm not.
That's why I'm at the camp.

479
00:35:22,623 --> 00:35:24,792
No, it's eight crackers
in one minute.

480
00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:27,995
No, I'm telling you, I got this
cousin in Salt Lake that says

481
00:35:28,029 --> 00:35:29,997
it's one cracker
in eight minutes.

482
00:35:30,031 --> 00:35:32,633
No! You're so stupid!

483
00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:36,838
That doesn't even make any sense, you can
easily eat one cracker in eight minutes!

484
00:35:36,871 --> 00:35:41,042
That's why it's hard, you have to
really take your time, savor it...

485
00:35:41,075 --> 00:35:45,378
Give it.
Time, go.

486
00:35:45,412 --> 00:35:46,981
My Swatch only shows hours.

487
00:35:48,082 --> 00:35:51,719
So, you see the fork?
It needs to go on the left, okay?

488
00:35:51,753 --> 00:35:53,688
No, I said it goes on the left!

489
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:58,492
- Hey, Donna.
- Hi.

490
00:35:58,525 --> 00:36:00,628
Sorry. I... I just...

491
00:36:00,661 --> 00:36:03,898
You know, I could help teach your
kids how to set the table properly,

492
00:36:03,931 --> 00:36:05,532
with a little freestyle
of course.

493
00:36:05,565 --> 00:36:08,870
You know, something to
help them remember.

494
00:36:09,971 --> 00:36:12,372
- Yeah, sure, that would be great.
- Yeah?

495
00:36:12,405 --> 00:36:14,642
A'ight, cool. Here we go.

496
00:36:14,675 --> 00:36:17,344
Mm, yeah.

497
00:36:17,377 --> 00:36:21,048
♪ It's like, when you Put down the
plate It's the first thing you do ♪

498
00:36:21,082 --> 00:36:27,487
♪ Place it the middle
It's what you do, uh ♪

499
00:36:27,521 --> 00:36:30,057
♪ Now, pick up a knife, yeah ♪

500
00:36:30,091 --> 00:36:32,760
♪ Be careful it's sharp ♪

501
00:36:32,794 --> 00:36:37,564
♪ You don't want to cut your pretty
little fingers off Now do ya? ♪

502
00:36:37,597 --> 00:36:40,668
♪ Do ya, do ya, do ya,
do ya? ♪

503
00:36:40,701 --> 00:36:42,970
♪ Of course, you don't
What? ♪

504
00:36:43,004 --> 00:36:45,472
♪ Best be moving on
To the spoon ♪

505
00:36:45,505 --> 00:36:47,775
♪ It should be opposite
Of the fork... ♪

506
00:37:27,048 --> 00:37:28,950
Hey, you got a sec?

507
00:37:31,819 --> 00:37:32,920
Freeze!

508
00:37:41,696 --> 00:37:43,097
What are they doing?

509
00:37:43,130 --> 00:37:46,167
- Girls' camp doesn't play freeze?
- No.

510
00:37:46,200 --> 00:37:49,837
Hell, you just yell "freeze" at some point
during the meal, the kids all freeze,

511
00:37:49,871 --> 00:37:53,040
and the first one to move
has to clear all the dishes.

512
00:37:54,474 --> 00:37:55,408
Neat.

513
00:37:56,443 --> 00:37:58,779
So, what's up?

514
00:37:58,813 --> 00:38:04,018
Right. Well, I do take it that guys'
camp did do program announcements, right?

515
00:38:04,051 --> 00:38:05,720
Yeah.

516
00:38:05,753 --> 00:38:07,520
Well, we have a big one
to announce this morning,

517
00:38:07,554 --> 00:38:11,993
with Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs
starting, and uh...

518
00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:14,729
Okay. So, do you have something
planned or?

519
00:38:16,197 --> 00:38:18,199
Yeah, yeah, um.

520
00:38:18,232 --> 00:38:21,168
You know, a few of us girls,
we came up with a skit last night.

521
00:38:22,637 --> 00:38:26,207
Actually, it was more like a rework of,
you know, something we did last summer.

522
00:38:26,240 --> 00:38:30,543
But we weren't sure if,
if we should just go ahead and do it

523
00:38:30,577 --> 00:38:31,846
or if you guys wanted to
participate?

524
00:38:31,879 --> 00:38:33,180
Now, Yoshi, don't laugh.

525
00:38:34,514 --> 00:38:36,984
Jason, don't fall in love, alright,
it's just a game there, pal.

526
00:38:37,018 --> 00:38:38,886
No, that sounds great.

527
00:38:39,954 --> 00:38:41,889
I guess we'll just leave this
one up to you guys... girls.

528
00:38:42,924 --> 00:38:45,492
Great, cool, thanks.

529
00:38:45,525 --> 00:38:48,029
Your breath smells like
farts!

530
00:38:48,062 --> 00:38:49,664
It's horrible.

531
00:38:49,697 --> 00:38:52,099
How bad does it smell?
Like farts, eh?

532
00:38:52,133 --> 00:38:55,002
Why don't you tell me about it
while you're doing dishes duty?

533
00:38:55,036 --> 00:38:57,738
Yeah, you didn't think
about it, did you?

534
00:38:57,772 --> 00:38:59,840
- So? What did they say?
- He said we could do it.

535
00:38:59,874 --> 00:39:03,177
- Yes! I knew it.
- Attack them with our sexuality.

536
00:39:03,210 --> 00:39:04,679
Sexual assault!

537
00:39:05,780 --> 00:39:08,448
Yeah, but different, you know.

538
00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:15,690
When the hand goes up?

539
00:39:15,723 --> 00:39:17,725
The mouth goes shut!

540
00:39:17,758 --> 00:39:19,226
Shut your holes!

541
00:39:19,260 --> 00:39:21,696
- Thank you, Ben.
- Shut your holes.

542
00:39:21,729 --> 00:39:23,064
Ben, the holes are shut.

543
00:39:25,733 --> 00:39:30,738
Okay, so, we have a special
announcement.

544
00:40:08,209 --> 00:40:12,146
May, maybe, maybe we shouldn't be
making enemies out of boobs, you know?

545
00:40:12,179 --> 00:40:16,817
It's Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs!

546
00:40:22,356 --> 00:40:26,593
Okay! For those of you who have been
here before, you know what this means.

547
00:40:26,627 --> 00:40:29,596
For those of you who are new,
let me explain.

548
00:40:29,630 --> 00:40:32,199
Yeah, so I guess that program
announcement didn't explain much.

549
00:40:32,233 --> 00:40:34,668
It was just sexual energy.

550
00:40:34,702 --> 00:40:37,104
...the Voyageurs
and the Lumbermen.

551
00:40:37,138 --> 00:40:42,176
These teams are going to compete
non-stop, around the clock,

552
00:40:42,209 --> 00:40:47,214
in various competitive activities
in order to accumulate points

553
00:40:47,248 --> 00:40:52,153
so that they can win
The Golden Axe-Paddle!

554
00:40:52,186 --> 00:40:54,288
- Looks like an axe.
- And a paddle.

555
00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:56,924
- Paddle.
- It's an axe-paddle.

556
00:40:56,957 --> 00:41:00,694
Before we get ahead of ourselves,
we have to make the selection

557
00:41:00,728 --> 00:41:06,100
to see which cabins will be the Voyageurs
and which cabins will be the Lumbermen.

558
00:41:06,133 --> 00:41:08,969
Lumbermen has won
the past four years, boys.

559
00:41:09,003 --> 00:41:11,571
- Okay?
- Let the selection begin!

560
00:41:14,008 --> 00:41:15,242
Alright.

561
00:41:15,276 --> 00:41:18,979
Who is first for the Voyageurs?

562
00:41:24,919 --> 00:41:27,321
Senior Girls 2.

563
00:41:31,959 --> 00:41:35,096
Alright, and now who is going
to kick off for the Lumbermen?

564
00:41:37,298 --> 00:41:39,900
Junior Boys 1.

565
00:41:43,404 --> 00:41:46,240
And back to the Voyageurs.

566
00:41:46,273 --> 00:41:47,708
It's working.

567
00:41:51,979 --> 00:41:55,716
Intermediate Girls 3.

568
00:41:57,118 --> 00:41:58,953
Lumbermen!

569
00:42:12,032 --> 00:42:13,200
It's the same.

570
00:42:16,270 --> 00:42:20,274
But the opposite, which would
make it... Intermediate Boys...

571
00:42:20,307 --> 00:42:23,244
Intermediate Boys 3!

572
00:42:26,747 --> 00:42:30,284
Coffee is way too liquored up to pull
this off. We're gonna get busted.

573
00:42:31,318 --> 00:42:32,987
He's got it, he's got it.

574
00:42:36,457 --> 00:42:39,059
Alright, next for the Voyageurs.

575
00:42:40,060 --> 00:42:43,330
Junior Girls 2.

576
00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:46,700
- Lumbermen?
- Senior Boys 2.

577
00:42:46,734 --> 00:42:51,005
Senior Boys 2, they beat me up
last summer, Senior Boys 2.

578
00:42:53,073 --> 00:42:54,341
Junior Girls 1.

579
00:42:57,811 --> 00:42:59,780
Intermediate Boys 2.

580
00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:05,319
Senior Girls 1.
Intermediate Boys 1.

581
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:08,222
Intermediate Girls 1.

582
00:43:09,490 --> 00:43:11,325
Junior Boys 2.

583
00:43:17,064 --> 00:43:20,000
Oh. Intermediate Girls 2.

584
00:43:20,034 --> 00:43:25,339
Thank you, well, there you go!
Totally impartial selection!

585
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:32,112
If the teams could please appoint a team
captain to come up here for the swearing-in.

586
00:43:41,155 --> 00:43:42,790
I swear.

587
00:43:42,823 --> 00:43:44,325
I swear.

588
00:43:44,358 --> 00:43:49,296
To compete with honor,
integrity, and spirit.

589
00:43:49,330 --> 00:43:53,500
To compete with honor,
integrity, and spirit.

590
00:43:57,137 --> 00:44:00,441
I know what you did here
and you will rue the day.

591
00:44:00,474 --> 00:44:03,277
I've always wanted to hear someone
say "rue the day" in real life.

592
00:44:03,310 --> 00:44:06,113
So I will now thus rue the day.

593
00:44:12,586 --> 00:44:16,056
Our plan had worked.
We made it boys versus girls.

594
00:44:16,090 --> 00:44:19,893
This was our chance to show the ladies
who's boss and take back our camp.

595
00:44:21,895 --> 00:44:27,134
We knew the boys rigged the competition,
and we were determined to take them down.

596
00:44:27,167 --> 00:44:29,203
This is no good,
we might actually hurt them.

597
00:44:30,938 --> 00:44:34,074
- British!
- Bulldog!

598
00:44:39,546 --> 00:44:43,217
Argh! Come on, you guys!
What was that?

599
00:44:43,250 --> 00:44:45,419
They have girl parts!
Where do we grab on to?

600
00:44:45,452 --> 00:44:47,988
The gender-neutral parts.

601
00:44:48,022 --> 00:44:49,189
British!

602
00:44:59,566 --> 00:45:03,404
Okay, you got four Voyageurs.
Switch up, Lumbermen run!

603
00:45:03,437 --> 00:45:04,972
British!

604
00:45:05,005 --> 00:45:07,341
Bulldog!

605
00:45:11,979 --> 00:45:15,449
- British!
- Bulldog!

606
00:45:18,519 --> 00:45:22,356
- Aw!
- Oh! Yeah.

607
00:45:22,389 --> 00:45:24,058
You work out, right?

608
00:45:25,592 --> 00:45:27,528
Okay, you captured 22 Lumbermen.

609
00:45:27,561 --> 00:45:29,530
Voyageurs win this round!

610
00:45:34,669 --> 00:45:38,105
Yeah! Go! Come on!

611
00:45:48,515 --> 00:45:50,384
- Yay!
- Woo-hoo!

612
00:46:04,498 --> 00:46:06,634
Oh, my God! Reeks of urine.

613
00:46:06,668 --> 00:46:10,070
Yes! It worked, it worked!

614
00:46:10,104 --> 00:46:11,939
We were trying to mask
the smell of poop!

615
00:46:11,972 --> 00:46:14,541
- Oh, well, congratulations.
- Yes!

616
00:46:17,244 --> 00:46:21,949
A mid-summer dance probably
seemed like a good idea, on paper.

617
00:46:37,564 --> 00:46:40,668
This is so lame.

618
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:42,536
Okay, someone's gotta
do something.

619
00:46:42,569 --> 00:46:46,540
I mean, I get the feud, but the
kids aren't having any fun.

620
00:46:57,685 --> 00:46:59,621
- Hey.
- Okay, come on, we gotta do something.

621
00:46:59,654 --> 00:47:01,255
- Come on.
- What up?

622
00:48:16,163 --> 00:48:18,365
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.

623
00:48:19,701 --> 00:48:23,103
Two cupcakes,
both for you fatty?

624
00:48:23,136 --> 00:48:27,140
No, no. I was... I was...
I was thinking of sharing.

625
00:48:27,174 --> 00:48:30,277
- With me?
- Yeah, sure.

626
00:48:31,813 --> 00:48:35,349
I, uh, I thought
we were enemies.

627
00:48:35,382 --> 00:48:37,551
Yeah, yeah, we are.

628
00:48:37,584 --> 00:48:42,289
But even enemies have to share yummy
delicious cupcakes from time to time.

629
00:48:42,322 --> 00:48:44,258
- They do?
- Yeah.

630
00:48:44,291 --> 00:48:46,761
- You haven't seen Star Wars?
- I've seen Star Wars.

631
00:48:46,794 --> 00:48:52,099
Okay, so just before Greedo shoots Han, you
didn't notice the cupcakes they were enjoying?

632
00:48:52,132 --> 00:48:53,701
Before Greedo shoots Han?

633
00:48:53,735 --> 00:48:55,502
You mean,
before Han shoots Greedo!

634
00:48:55,536 --> 00:48:58,372
What are you talking about?
Han would never do that.

635
00:48:58,405 --> 00:49:03,377
Oh, God! I think he wants to kiss me.
Where was this confidence eight months ago?

636
00:49:03,410 --> 00:49:06,113
She kinda smells
like garbage,

637
00:49:06,146 --> 00:49:09,416
but that could just be because we're near
the dumpster and she was carrying garbage.

638
00:49:09,449 --> 00:49:11,619
Han is a cold-blooded killer.

639
00:49:11,653 --> 00:49:14,756
You know instead of facing Jabba
himself and taking responsibility...

640
00:49:14,789 --> 00:49:18,392
Wait, am I feeling attracted to
her or to the smell of garbage?

641
00:49:18,425 --> 00:49:20,862
I can't let him kiss me.
The girls will hate me.

642
00:49:20,895 --> 00:49:23,463
You see that just
furthers my point,

643
00:49:23,497 --> 00:49:25,499
you're too busy moralizing to notice the
cupcakes that two enemies were enjoying.

644
00:49:25,532 --> 00:49:28,636
But he's finally behaving
and acting cute.

645
00:49:28,670 --> 00:49:31,271
Maybe our union
could bring the camp together?

646
00:49:31,305 --> 00:49:33,574
Am I going to end up being
one of those case studies on Donahue,

647
00:49:33,608 --> 00:49:35,475
"The guy who humps
dumpsters?"

648
00:49:35,509 --> 00:49:39,112
There is no way that they were
serving cupcakes at the cantina.

649
00:49:39,146 --> 00:49:41,548
Maybe some sense memory
would help you...

650
00:49:48,188 --> 00:49:50,625
Just say you love noogies,
and I'll let go!

651
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,259
Let go first!

652
00:49:52,292 --> 00:49:56,396
Ha, ha, ha!
I hate noogies!

653
00:49:56,430 --> 00:49:57,732
- Dale?
- Yeah?

654
00:49:57,765 --> 00:49:59,466
- Dale!
- Yes!

655
00:49:59,499 --> 00:50:00,768
Were you just making out
with this hussy?

656
00:50:00,802 --> 00:50:02,169
- Excuse me?
- No.

657
00:50:02,202 --> 00:50:03,236
- No?
- Amber?

658
00:50:03,270 --> 00:50:04,806
You two were mouth fucking.

659
00:50:04,839 --> 00:50:07,140
Mouth fucking?
No one says that, man.

660
00:50:07,174 --> 00:50:08,643
We weren't.

661
00:50:08,676 --> 00:50:10,277
Then why do you have icing
on your boob parts then?

662
00:50:10,310 --> 00:50:12,479
They're called pecks on guys,
alright?

663
00:50:12,512 --> 00:50:15,182
- They're called pecks on her, too.
- Watch it.

664
00:50:15,215 --> 00:50:17,584
Yeah, what's with the
peck icing?

665
00:50:17,619 --> 00:50:20,822
This? You caught us
in the middle of a food fight.

666
00:50:20,855 --> 00:50:24,324
Yes, it was a hateful,
sexist food fight.

667
00:50:24,358 --> 00:50:27,160
Yeah, and I'm pissed at him right
now, and you're interrupting.

668
00:50:27,194 --> 00:50:29,363
Mm-hmm. I was waiting until now,
when she was wearing her favorite dress.

669
00:50:29,396 --> 00:50:31,899
- Fucker!
- Fight! Fight! Fight!

670
00:50:31,933 --> 00:50:35,535
- Really, this is how we're playing it?
- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

671
00:50:35,569 --> 00:50:37,504
Fight! Fight! Fight!

672
00:50:41,709 --> 00:50:45,445
Okay, well, this camp is going
all girls, all summer.

673
00:50:45,479 --> 00:50:47,180
Roger sees
how toxic you guys are.

674
00:50:47,214 --> 00:50:48,850
Us? Toxic?

675
00:50:48,883 --> 00:50:51,351
You're the ones stinking up the
garbage with your maxipads.

676
00:50:53,253 --> 00:50:54,856
No, no, whoa... no.

677
00:50:54,889 --> 00:50:56,958
Two men enter, one man leaves.
Come on, you know these things.

678
00:50:56,991 --> 00:50:58,693
You want our maxipads gone?

679
00:50:58,726 --> 00:51:00,962
By the way, Dany is the only one
who uses maxipads, so...

680
00:51:00,995 --> 00:51:03,731
Yes, we want you gone!
There's no way it's just Dany.

681
00:51:03,765 --> 00:51:07,367
I've seen way too many maxipads in the garbage
for it just to be coming from one girl.

682
00:51:07,401 --> 00:51:09,637
Some of us have heavy flows!

683
00:51:09,671 --> 00:51:12,305
- Well, we want you gone!
- Well, let's lay down the stakes then.

684
00:51:12,339 --> 00:51:14,609
You want to play for keeps?

685
00:51:14,642 --> 00:51:19,614
Okay. Whoever loses Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs,
can't apply for a job next summer.

686
00:51:19,647 --> 00:51:22,382
No male counselors,
no boys' camp.

687
00:51:22,416 --> 00:51:26,621
- All girls, all summer.
- Okay!

688
00:51:26,654 --> 00:51:29,624
But if boys win
Lumbermen vs. Voyageurs,

689
00:51:29,657 --> 00:51:35,395
then girls can't apply for jobs here,
and it goes back to a... boys' camp.

690
00:51:35,429 --> 00:51:37,597
Yes, Ben, that was implied.

691
00:51:37,632 --> 00:51:39,332
Look, I'm just trying to
make the stakes clear.

692
00:51:50,544 --> 00:51:52,579
Okay, they're all in, let's go.

693
00:52:30,584 --> 00:52:33,788
Okay, looks like a hundred
spirit points for Lumbermen.

694
00:53:19,399 --> 00:53:22,569
Well, looks like a hundred and
fifty spirit points for Voyageurs.

695
00:53:22,602 --> 00:53:24,605
Woo!

696
00:53:25,572 --> 00:53:28,676
Go! Like the hustle,
I like the hustle.

697
00:53:30,678 --> 00:53:32,680
Hey, little girl? How you doing?

698
00:53:32,713 --> 00:53:34,715
Yeah, this is fun, huh?
Relay race camp.

699
00:53:34,749 --> 00:53:36,617
I love it.

700
00:53:36,651 --> 00:53:39,086
Just, it's kinda hard being away
from home this long, you know?

701
00:53:39,120 --> 00:53:43,825
I mean, I don't think I've ever been
away from my mom this long, have you?

702
00:53:43,858 --> 00:53:45,960
Yeah, sometimes I just
sit in bed at night,

703
00:53:45,993 --> 00:53:50,898
thinking about how much I miss my
mommy hugging me, singing to me.

704
00:53:50,932 --> 00:53:55,435
♪ Hush, little baby
Don't say a word ♪

705
00:53:55,468 --> 00:53:57,437
Comforting a child,
keep it moving.

706
00:53:57,470 --> 00:53:59,640
There's more important things in
life, okay? Keep going.

707
00:53:59,674 --> 00:54:04,078
♪ Momma's gonna buy you
A mockingbird ♪

708
00:54:18,458 --> 00:54:19,660
Yard sale!

709
00:54:29,502 --> 00:54:32,006
We were so caught up
in beating each other,

710
00:54:32,039 --> 00:54:36,077
we didn't even see we were destroying
the one thing we both loved... the camp.

711
00:54:38,179 --> 00:54:42,415
You two have no idea what
you have just done. No idea!

712
00:54:42,449 --> 00:54:43,818
Roger.

713
00:54:43,851 --> 00:54:47,054
Shut up, no one wants to
hear you talk, shut it.

714
00:54:48,656 --> 00:54:52,860
Do you have any idea,
the position you've put this camp in? Hmm?

715
00:54:52,894 --> 00:54:54,461
I'm asking you a question.

716
00:54:54,494 --> 00:54:55,796
You just told me to shut up.

717
00:54:55,830 --> 00:54:58,132
Shut up! It was rhetorical.
Shut it!

718
00:55:00,868 --> 00:55:04,605
Did you think that I, last summer
just, on my own, out of nowhere,

719
00:55:04,639 --> 00:55:05,907
decided to make the camp co-ed?

720
00:55:05,940 --> 00:55:07,008
Kinda.

721
00:55:07,041 --> 00:55:08,809
I thought I said to shut it.

722
00:55:08,843 --> 00:55:12,479
You told Dale to shut it,
this is my first shut it.

723
00:55:13,814 --> 00:55:15,950
Fine. But shut it from now on.

724
00:55:15,983 --> 00:55:17,584
Do you know why we're co-ed?

725
00:55:18,619 --> 00:55:21,588
Huh? Funny guy?
I'm asking you a question.

726
00:55:21,622 --> 00:55:23,157
Is it a rhetorical question?

727
00:55:23,190 --> 00:55:26,994
Oh, answering a question
with a question.

728
00:55:27,028 --> 00:55:29,030
Very smart funny guy.

729
00:55:29,063 --> 00:55:31,132
No, it wasn't rhetorical.

730
00:55:31,165 --> 00:55:33,000
- Okay then, my guess...
- Shut up! No one wants to hear you talk!

731
00:55:33,034 --> 00:55:35,468
Sorry, you're just being
a bit unclear.

732
00:55:35,502 --> 00:55:38,606
Oh. Well, pardon my French.

733
00:55:38,639 --> 00:55:40,207
How's this for unclear?

734
00:55:49,884 --> 00:55:51,252
Yeah. That's great for unclear.

735
00:55:51,285 --> 00:55:52,920
Oh, you want me to
spell it out for you?

736
00:55:52,954 --> 00:55:54,255
- Yes!
- Yes!

737
00:55:54,288 --> 00:55:56,223
Camps are closing
at a record rate.

738
00:55:59,526 --> 00:56:02,763
Corporate has tightened
up budgets across the board.

739
00:56:10,871 --> 00:56:13,540
Parents are demanding
heightened safety standards,

740
00:56:13,573 --> 00:56:16,143
so more money is being pooled
into safety equipment.

741
00:56:18,846 --> 00:56:23,516
Going co-ed all summer long was the only
way to keep this camp economically viable

742
00:56:23,550 --> 00:56:26,153
and prevent corporate
from shutting us down.

743
00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:33,995
That's why making this summer
work was so important.

744
00:56:36,263 --> 00:56:42,069
Look, first of, I... I really don't think the
outside world works the way you described it.

745
00:56:42,103 --> 00:56:45,139
Yeah, you make it sound like
a Looney Tunes cartoon.

746
00:56:45,172 --> 00:56:49,744
Like corporate bureaucrats
in suits bullying kids?

747
00:56:49,777 --> 00:56:52,646
Yeah, I... I... I really think
your world view is a bit off.

748
00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:55,649
Wait, how did you get visuals
of what was in my mind's eye?

749
00:56:55,683 --> 00:56:59,253
And second, I wish you would have just
leveled with us from the beginning.

750
00:56:59,286 --> 00:57:03,190
Just tell us that the camp was going
to close unless we made co-ed work.

751
00:57:03,224 --> 00:57:07,328
Yeah, if we knew it was that dire
we would have figured it out.

752
00:57:07,361 --> 00:57:09,764
You really just need to be
more clear next time.

753
00:57:09,797 --> 00:57:12,033
Well, but there isn't going
to be a next time.

754
00:57:13,334 --> 00:57:14,835
It's all too late anyway.

755
00:57:14,869 --> 00:57:16,237
Well, what do you mean?

756
00:57:17,905 --> 00:57:22,143
Corporate is sending an advisory board
tomorrow to check out our economic viability.

757
00:57:22,176 --> 00:57:27,915
Once they see this mess and the volatile
atmosphere, they'll close us down for sure.

758
00:57:34,955 --> 00:57:36,757
Come here, come here!

759
00:57:36,791 --> 00:57:39,226
Come here, come here, come here!

760
00:57:39,260 --> 00:57:44,999
I accidentally overheard while I was peeping
and I think I know how to save the camp.

761
00:57:46,367 --> 00:57:47,635
Follow me.

762
00:57:51,305 --> 00:57:55,743
Ninety-six bottles of beer on the wall,
ninety-seven bottles of beer on the wall,

763
00:57:55,776 --> 00:57:57,678
ninety-eight bottles of beer
on the wall.

764
00:57:58,846 --> 00:58:00,681
Ninety-nine bottle of beer
on the wall!

765
00:58:02,049 --> 00:58:08,255
When my dad passed away, he gave me
this job, and a small inheritance.

766
00:58:08,289 --> 00:58:10,958
That was almost fifty years ago.

767
00:58:12,293 --> 00:58:18,598
The job, the camp, the people...
are my home,

768
00:58:19,767 --> 00:58:21,335
my family.

769
00:58:25,005 --> 00:58:27,108
Economically viable?

770
00:58:27,141 --> 00:58:32,213
If keeping this camp open is
about money, I think I can help.

771
00:58:41,822 --> 00:58:48,395
Five thousand dollars.
The camp, our home, is saved.

772
00:58:48,429 --> 00:58:53,400
Yeah but your... that's your...
that's your inheritance?

773
00:58:53,434 --> 00:58:59,073
Yes, it was my dad's life savings,
but I want you to use it to save the camp.

774
00:58:59,106 --> 00:59:02,209
But you... you had it buried
underground the whole time?

775
00:59:03,310 --> 00:59:05,179
I think you're missing
the point here.

776
00:59:05,212 --> 00:59:08,349
This five thousand dollars
was from the 1940s.

777
00:59:08,382 --> 00:59:10,084
Almost fifty years ago.

778
00:59:10,117 --> 00:59:12,086
With inflation, and interest,

779
00:59:12,119 --> 00:59:15,156
you're looking at over a hundred
thousand dollars. At least.

780
00:59:15,189 --> 00:59:19,927
No, we're looking at
five thousand dollars.

781
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,062
Now I think you're both
missing the point.

782
00:59:22,096 --> 00:59:26,400
1940s money, inflation,
interest.

783
00:59:26,433 --> 00:59:29,203
Ka-ching, camp saved, hero!

784
00:59:31,005 --> 00:59:36,110
Um, I think if we try to explain this to him,
we're just gonna get stuck in a time loop.

785
00:59:36,143 --> 00:59:38,179
Agreed.

786
00:59:38,212 --> 00:59:40,714
What... what if we just take the
money, tell him he saved the camp,

787
00:59:40,748 --> 00:59:44,785
and then use that money to spruce
up the place, and save the camp.

788
00:59:44,818 --> 00:59:47,888
You heard Roger,
corporate is coming tomorrow.

789
00:59:47,922 --> 00:59:49,890
That's why we're gonna need
everyone's help.

790
00:59:51,358 --> 00:59:53,994
Thanks! Woo-hoo!
You saved the camp!

791
00:59:54,028 --> 00:59:56,931
- Did you just call me a hero?
- Sure.

792
01:00:02,970 --> 01:00:05,806
Alright, I'm going to break it
down, nice and simple.

793
01:00:06,774 --> 01:00:10,277
Corporate is coming to the site tomorrow
and they're gonna close the camp.

794
01:00:10,311 --> 01:00:12,279
- What? What do you mean shut it down?
- What? Are you serious?

795
01:00:12,313 --> 01:00:14,415
- Listen. Listen. Please.
- Unless! Guys,

796
01:00:14,448 --> 01:00:19,820
unless we work together for the next
twenty-four hours and fix the camp.

797
01:00:19,853 --> 01:00:23,190
Fix the camp? How can we fix it?
What do you mean fix the camp?

798
01:00:25,192 --> 01:00:29,263
Okay, um, hold on a second,
guys. Look.

799
01:00:29,296 --> 01:00:33,234
Ben... here, try to break
this stick, okay?

800
01:00:33,267 --> 01:00:36,537
- Serious?
- It's easy, right?

801
01:00:36,570 --> 01:00:39,039
Good. Um, now look...

802
01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:43,978
Now go ahead and try to...
try to break this bundle.

803
01:00:47,081 --> 01:00:49,817
Haha, okay, just... no, let's
hold on a second, alright?

804
01:01:00,995 --> 01:01:04,965
- Fuck.
- Whoa, hold on guys, please. Okay.

805
01:01:04,999 --> 01:01:06,834
Okay.

806
01:01:06,867 --> 01:01:10,971
- Break this, let's give it a try.
- Woo!

807
01:01:11,005 --> 01:01:14,241
Goddamnit, Ben! Jesus Christ.

808
01:01:14,275 --> 01:01:17,044
Wait, wait, wait, hold up.
I think I get it.

809
01:01:17,077 --> 01:01:22,449
Wait, you're saying, on our own,
we can easily snap a twig in half.

810
01:01:22,483 --> 01:01:25,219
But if we work together, we,
we can snap a bunch!

811
01:01:25,252 --> 01:01:27,488
- A lot of sticks, bro!
- Yeah.

812
01:01:29,056 --> 01:01:34,428
It's like, we've had the power inside us the
entire time, to break a shit load of sticks,

813
01:01:34,461 --> 01:01:36,430
- more than we ever thought possible!
- Yes.

814
01:01:36,463 --> 01:01:39,366
No. I mean, yeah, but...

815
01:01:43,605 --> 01:01:47,341
Totally. Like with our friends,
and maybe, maybe some kicking...

816
01:01:47,374 --> 01:01:50,344
- Yeah.
- We can do so much more.

817
01:01:50,377 --> 01:01:52,112
A lot of sticks, dude!

818
01:01:52,146 --> 01:01:55,015
No, I mean, that's...
that's not...

819
01:01:57,017 --> 01:02:00,387
Wait sorry, are you guys... what,
is this... are you guys motivated by this?

820
01:02:00,421 --> 01:02:01,555
Fuck, yeah!

821
01:02:03,891 --> 01:02:06,360
- Alright. Yeah, okay, good.
- I guess we'll go with that!

822
01:02:06,393 --> 01:02:07,594
Thanks, everybody.

823
01:02:16,970 --> 01:02:18,572
We've got a way
to save the camp!

824
01:02:18,606 --> 01:02:21,342
I told you, it's too late.
Corporate is coming tomorrow

825
01:02:21,375 --> 01:02:23,977
We know, but we did this
metaphor thing with everyone,

826
01:02:24,011 --> 01:02:25,245
and we found
a little bit of cash.

827
01:02:25,279 --> 01:02:26,614
It's too late!

828
01:02:26,648 --> 01:02:29,049
They're going to shut us down.

829
01:02:29,083 --> 01:02:31,251
Or will they?

830
01:02:31,285 --> 01:02:34,922
- Uh, yeah, they will.
- Are you sure about that?

831
01:02:34,955 --> 01:02:37,391
Yeah, pretty sure.

832
01:02:37,424 --> 01:02:41,095
I know for a fact they're going to be closing
at least eight camps in this region alone.

833
01:02:41,128 --> 01:02:44,598
- We're bound to be one.
- Not so fast.

834
01:02:44,632 --> 01:02:48,001
Not so fast?
They're coming tomorrow!

835
01:02:48,035 --> 01:02:55,275
I wouldn't be so sure about us
closing... not just yet.

836
01:02:55,309 --> 01:03:00,247
Yep, I think something
might just change.

837
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:02,149
- What?
- Roger.

838
01:03:02,182 --> 01:03:06,220
I wouldn't count all your
roosters before they hatch.

839
01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:10,324
Let's just see what a little
passing of the time can do, hmm?

840
01:03:21,168 --> 01:03:22,670
Montage!

841
01:04:48,623 --> 01:04:53,427
♪ Let's go sit in the sunshine ♪

842
01:04:53,460 --> 01:04:56,731
♪ Like we usually do ♪

843
01:04:56,764 --> 01:05:01,568
♪ Feeling water, hands in sand ♪

844
01:05:01,602 --> 01:05:03,705
♪ Leaves, trees, canopy ♪

845
01:05:04,706 --> 01:05:08,208
It's so beautiful
up here.

846
01:05:09,142 --> 01:05:10,277
Yeah, I know.

847
01:05:12,814 --> 01:05:17,351
This is... this is for sure the one
thing that we all have in common.

848
01:05:17,384 --> 01:05:19,419
What's that?

849
01:05:19,453 --> 01:05:23,625
That we all love this place,
and we don't want to see it go away.

850
01:05:25,627 --> 01:05:28,028
We figured that one out
in the end.

851
01:05:31,365 --> 01:05:33,400
So, how do you think
the review will go tomorrow?

852
01:05:34,468 --> 01:05:37,571
Honestly, I don't know.

853
01:05:37,605 --> 01:05:40,541
I just hope we didn't mess
things up for the kids.

854
01:05:44,144 --> 01:05:49,182
♪ Daydreaming, night and day ♪

855
01:05:51,285 --> 01:05:52,620
Do you think
you'll ever have kids?

856
01:05:54,454 --> 01:05:56,189
Yeah, eventually.

857
01:05:56,891 --> 01:05:59,560
I'd be an awesome dad.

858
01:05:59,593 --> 01:06:04,666
Ben, kids can't subsist on a diet
of Skittles and wedgies, man.

859
01:06:05,900 --> 01:06:10,404
Yeah, obviously, I'd make adjustments,
but I'd rise to the occasion.

860
01:06:10,437 --> 01:06:13,173
It's okay, Ben, not everyone's
cut up to be a dad.

861
01:06:14,876 --> 01:06:18,846
Are you guys serious right now?
Okay, look, fact!

862
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:23,818
If you look back at all of humanity
as a whole, from the start, fact,

863
01:06:23,851 --> 01:06:26,386
most kids by far,
were just born.

864
01:06:26,420 --> 01:06:29,657
Just... just... just... just flopped
out of their mothers onto a bed,

865
01:06:29,691 --> 01:06:32,694
like a mossy, messy, forest bed.

866
01:06:32,727 --> 01:06:36,831
And then, most of the time, fact,
a wolf would just come along

867
01:06:36,864 --> 01:06:38,900
and... and eat the baby
right away.

868
01:06:38,933 --> 01:06:41,134
Just a snack, you know?

869
01:06:41,168 --> 01:06:44,504
So, by those odds, you know, if...
if you look at all the dads,

870
01:06:44,538 --> 01:06:49,611
from... from the start of humankind,
I'd be like in the top one percentile.

871
01:06:49,644 --> 01:06:54,214
Right, 'cause you'd at least try to fight
off a wolf from eating your newborn, right?

872
01:06:55,315 --> 01:06:57,384
Damn straight.

873
01:06:57,417 --> 01:07:00,253
The big day was here.

874
01:07:00,287 --> 01:07:02,757
If we didn't wow Gary with what we
had planned, we'd lose the camp forever.

875
01:07:02,790 --> 01:07:04,358
Oh, fuck my dick.

876
01:07:12,432 --> 01:07:16,236
This'll be an easy axing.
This place is a mess. Trust me.

877
01:07:20,942 --> 01:07:23,611
I still don't get why you're
both in the backseat.

878
01:07:26,246 --> 01:07:30,550
Wow, those bureaucrats look just like
how I pictured them in Roger's mind.

879
01:07:30,584 --> 01:07:31,686
I know.

880
01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:34,756
Chin up, Dale, we got this.

881
01:07:36,724 --> 01:07:38,726
Well, the front entrance
looks tidy.

882
01:07:39,961 --> 01:07:41,461
A façade.

883
01:07:54,776 --> 01:07:56,878
How has your summer been?

884
01:07:56,911 --> 01:07:59,881
Uh, my summer?
Fascinating! Fantastic!

885
01:07:59,914 --> 01:08:03,417
You know, we all... we all
get along so well, you know.

886
01:08:03,450 --> 01:08:06,788
Everyone's pretty much my best bud,
you know, we... we get along great,

887
01:08:06,821 --> 01:08:09,924
it's like, uh, it's really like
a family, you know?

888
01:08:10,825 --> 01:08:13,226
I love this girl so much!

889
01:08:13,260 --> 01:08:16,698
You know, she's like the, uh,
the big, uh, little... little...

890
01:08:16,731 --> 01:08:19,533
little brother that I... I never had.
Get in here, get in here!

891
01:08:19,566 --> 01:08:24,972
Yeah, yeah, he's like a... he's like a...
little dog I keep in my purse.

892
01:08:25,006 --> 01:08:28,009
Yeah, you're a bad dog,
aren't you?

893
01:08:28,042 --> 01:08:30,577
Yeah. Gentlemen?

894
01:08:41,421 --> 01:08:44,892
Well, the toilets seem to flush
normally, unobstructed.

895
01:09:03,711 --> 01:09:06,346
Smells very... nondescript.

896
01:09:07,347 --> 01:09:08,816
Yes!

897
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:10,885
We have a very special lunch
prepared for you,

898
01:09:10,918 --> 01:09:13,955
so if you'll just follow me
into the dining hall.

899
01:09:22,663 --> 01:09:26,768
♪ Morning has broken ♪

900
01:09:26,801 --> 01:09:31,005
♪ Like the first morning ♪

901
01:09:31,038 --> 01:09:37,845
♪ Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird ♪

902
01:09:39,346 --> 01:09:43,517
♪ Praise for the singing ♪

903
01:09:43,550 --> 01:09:47,587
♪ Praise for the morning ♪

904
01:09:47,622 --> 01:09:54,461
♪ Praise for them springing
Fresh from the world ♪

905
01:09:58,833 --> 01:10:02,502
♪ Sweet the rain's new fall ♪

906
01:10:02,536 --> 01:10:07,440
♪ Sunlit from heaven ♪

907
01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:13,981
♪ Like the first dew fall
On the first grass ♪

908
01:10:15,149 --> 01:10:19,086
♪ Praise for the sweetness ♪

909
01:10:19,120 --> 01:10:23,523
♪ Of the wet garden ♪

910
01:10:23,557 --> 01:10:27,728
♪ Sprung in completeness ♪

911
01:10:27,762 --> 01:10:31,866
♪ Where his feet pass ♪

912
01:10:31,899 --> 01:10:35,937
♪ Mine is the sunlight ♪

913
01:10:35,970 --> 01:10:40,373
♪ Mine is the morning ♪

914
01:10:40,407 --> 01:10:44,444
♪ Born of the one light ♪

915
01:10:44,477 --> 01:10:48,515
♪ Eden saw play ♪

916
01:10:48,548 --> 01:10:52,653
♪ Praise with elation ♪

917
01:10:52,687 --> 01:10:56,590
♪ Praise every morning ♪

918
01:10:56,624 --> 01:11:00,895
♪ God's re-creation ♪

919
01:11:00,928 --> 01:11:03,865
♪ Of the new day ♪

920
01:11:05,099 --> 01:11:08,669
Haha. Alright.

921
01:11:10,805 --> 01:11:12,173
Alright.

922
01:11:15,977 --> 01:11:18,511
Okay! I won't shut down
your camp!

923
01:11:18,545 --> 01:11:21,548
- Ya!
- Woo-hoo!

924
01:11:25,987 --> 01:11:27,788
Yes!

925
01:11:32,827 --> 01:11:34,862
I'll just have to shut down
another camp.

926
01:11:36,898 --> 01:11:38,065
Aw.

927
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:41,068
- Alright.
- Woo-hoo!

928
01:12:00,121 --> 01:12:02,723
Is that morning dip,
or flagpole?

929
01:12:03,925 --> 01:12:07,862
Neither, that's luggage,
we slept in.

930
01:12:09,230 --> 01:12:11,999
Oh, shit. I've got to get back
to my cabin!

931
01:12:13,267 --> 01:12:15,468
No goodbye?

932
01:12:15,502 --> 01:12:18,940
He pinched my butt on the way out.
That was probably meant for you.

933
01:12:19,840 --> 01:12:22,977
Aw, that's sweet.

934
01:12:29,917 --> 01:12:33,854
Hey, you get lucky
last night, man?

935
01:12:33,888 --> 01:12:36,657
Yeah, only waist-down though.

936
01:12:36,691 --> 01:12:40,861
What are you doing on the girls' side?
Shit. I'm Audi 5000.

937
01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:50,805
- You scared me, man.
- That was so close, we almost totally got busted!

938
01:12:50,838 --> 01:12:53,908
Nah, you just... you just
gotta play it chill.

939
01:12:55,009 --> 01:12:57,244
You're right, I'm chill.

940
01:12:59,546 --> 01:13:04,118
- You're extra pretty when you're chill.
- Really?

941
01:13:08,189 --> 01:13:09,589
Thanks!

942
01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:24,238
Thanks. Do you ladies want to
help me pack some luggage?

943
01:13:24,271 --> 01:13:26,207
Oh, yeah, for sure!

944
01:13:26,240 --> 01:13:29,542
All right kids,
gather around, hacky sack circle!

945
01:13:29,576 --> 01:13:33,681
Come on, ladies, let's go!
Put your backs into it. Come on!

946
01:13:33,714 --> 01:13:35,316
Slackers, over there!

947
01:13:35,349 --> 01:13:38,152
Yeah, if you have a purple
ribbon, you're on the next bus!

948
01:13:40,287 --> 01:13:42,156
Well, that's it.

949
01:13:42,189 --> 01:13:45,026
We saved the camp and the rest
of the summer was great.

950
01:13:46,761 --> 01:13:49,797
Everything ran smooth and
we made new friends along the way.

951
01:13:49,830 --> 01:13:52,266
It wasn't easy,
but we got through it.

952
01:13:52,299 --> 01:13:55,269
And maybe came out a
little better on the other side.

953
01:13:55,302 --> 01:13:57,238
- All in all.
- It was a great summer.

954
01:13:57,271 --> 01:13:58,773
- That I'll never...
- Forget.

955
01:14:00,207 --> 01:14:02,243
Well, it looks like
we saved the camp.

956
01:14:02,276 --> 01:14:05,880
- Yeah, everyone did their part.
- Yup.

957
01:14:08,682 --> 01:14:13,254
It's too bad we couldn't have worked
things out earlier on, you know.

958
01:14:13,287 --> 01:14:14,955
We could have had
more time together.

959
01:14:14,989 --> 01:14:18,959
- Yeah, a DeLorean would be nice.
- Yeah, for sure.

960
01:14:20,127 --> 01:14:25,166
Yeah. I could go back and remind
myself to say sexy instead of slutty.

961
01:14:25,199 --> 01:14:27,334
Or you could've just shut up
and kissed me.

962
01:14:29,236 --> 01:14:30,603
Or that, yeah.

963
01:14:32,139 --> 01:14:34,842
But I get it though.

964
01:14:35,776 --> 01:14:41,916
Maybe... maybe we set something
up nicer for the next generation.

965
01:14:55,229 --> 01:14:57,665
- Maybe that's it.
- What?

966
01:14:57,698 --> 01:14:59,133
That's what kids are.

967
01:14:59,166 --> 01:15:02,803
They're like... they're
like a time machine.

968
01:15:02,837 --> 01:15:05,106
It's a good chance to go back
and do it right.

969
01:15:05,139 --> 01:15:06,207
From the beginning.

970
01:15:22,456 --> 01:15:24,792
Hey. You want some?

971
01:16:09,970 --> 01:16:11,872
89 Hams. Take one.

972
01:16:14,341 --> 01:16:15,976
End credits for the scene.

973
01:16:24,952 --> 01:16:26,987
Scary, scary at the moment,
though.

974
01:16:28,489 --> 01:16:31,325
I hope an eagle mistakes
your dick for a perch.

975
01:16:36,897 --> 01:16:39,033
Oh, gosh!

976
01:16:39,066 --> 01:16:42,036
I almost just French kissed you
right now.

977
01:16:42,069 --> 01:16:43,804
Oui.

978
01:16:45,773 --> 01:16:47,908
My Swatch only shows hours.

979
01:16:49,910 --> 01:16:51,011
- Cut.
- Cut.

980
01:16:51,045 --> 01:16:53,080
Let's go again.

981
01:16:55,783 --> 01:16:56,817
Mm-hmm.

982
01:16:58,452 --> 01:17:00,955
Just throw a, just throw
a few on the camera here.

983
01:17:00,988 --> 01:17:04,758
♪ Fist been moving on
To the spoon for real ♪

984
01:17:04,792 --> 01:17:05,526
Yeah.

985
01:17:05,559 --> 01:17:08,829
One for you, one for me.

986
01:17:09,897 --> 01:17:11,165
Oh, I gave you mine.

987
01:17:15,069 --> 01:17:21,375
The rock band Journey, the cast
from Family Matters, Blue Man Group.

988
01:17:22,910 --> 01:17:24,378
Blue Man.

989
01:17:24,411 --> 01:17:27,848
Can you cue the music again right
now just while I get into the groups?