Ivan X Authere Does Not Work

<Soloxius> A lazy day on the airship, the party has been chilling around for a while (i guess sometime after the ruins), everyone's just taking it easy.
<Soloxius> Mogun's away getting something for Authere, perhaps... which causes this scene.
<Soloxius> *Ivan walking down the hallway, beckoned suddenly by Authere*
<Soloxius> (Authere) Ah, Ivan! Could you come here a moment?
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...? What's up?
<Soloxius> (Authere) Ahh, I um... I have myself in quite the predicament. You see... Well... I'm not exactly very young, you know, and... sometimes I need a good rubdown to keep my muscles from aching and my bones from creaking, aha... Usually Mogun does it, but he is out on business for me.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...seriously?
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Are you asking me to-
<Soloxius> (Authere) Sh, sh! *looks around*
<Soloxius> (Authere) I'm sorry, but you're the only one I feel i can trust to do it without laughing in my face about it! I hate to impose, but... I could throw my weight around if push comes to shove, you know... aha~
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...*sighs heavily* Alright, where to, "boss?"
<Soloxius> (Authere) That's the spirit! *leads the way into his room to a massage table, complete with facerest*
<Soloxius> (Ivan) *cracks a smile* Heh. Nice setup here.
<Soloxius> (Authere) *steps behind a divider and steps back out wearing only a towel* Ah, forgive me, but-
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Woah, hold on, you didn't say anything about being naked!
<Soloxius> (Authere) I am sorry, Ivan, but I need you to rub my shoulders, back, spine, and legs... Again, I am terribly sorry for the embarrassing situation, believe me, I'm feeling awkward enough as it is!
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...mugh, fiiiine. Get on the table, let's get this over with.
<Soloxius> (Authere) *mounts the table and lays down, towel thankfully covering any uncouth locations* Mmnnf... There's oil on the stand over here, it helps keep things moving, eheh..
<Soloxius> (Ivan) *eyes the party's benefactor for a moment, then squirts some oil into his hands, rubbing them together, before starting to rub at the base of Authere's neck*
<Soloxius> (Authere) Mmmm~ My, you have a natural talent f-
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Be quiet.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...less talking, more meditating, I mean.
<Soloxius> (Authere) Ah, I see! Very well then. *hums quietly in between soft grunts of relief*
<Soloxius> Some time passes, and Ivan moves from Authere's back to his legs, carefully working the muscles between his hands to improve their bloodflow once more, when suddenly, the door to the room bursts open! Before either of the pair have time to react, Lyxis (Ferah? Nelis?) bursts into the room, stumbling against the wall.
<Soloxius> (Nelis) Mnnnghf~ Your frrrriendsh really knowww how'ta throwww a partyyyhehehehe~
<Soloxius> (Nelis) *she removes The Bustier and tosses it onto Ivan, running her hands over his face* I'lllll sheeee youuuu later, handsommmmme~ hehehe~
<Soloxius> She drunkenly exits.
<Soloxius> (Authere) ...
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...
<Soloxius> (Authere) ...well.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) I'm suddenly very glad to be in here and not out there.
<Soloxius> (Authere) I'm afraid I can not share your sentiments, Ivan! Why, what if Mihyu needs help getting to her room? What if Kimaru needs assistance carrying her lar-
<Soloxius> (Ivan) *smacks Authere's bottom lightly* Oh, Authere~ That's entirely too lewd for a man of your demeanor~
<Soloxius> (Authere) Ahaha, I apologize, I was going to say her large... drink. Yes.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Are you sure you'll be able to help her? Won't you be too busy carrying your own large.... drink~?
<Soloxius> (Authere) ...Ivan? Are you feeling alright? You sound different.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) *runs his hand from the top of Authere's spine down his back slowly, lightly touching the skin* Oh, on the contrary, I've never felt better~
<Soloxius> (Authere) *starts to get up* I-Ivan, you certainly don't sound like you're feeling alright, what is the matter? *looks over his shoulder and notices The Bustier sitting on Ivan's head* Oh... dear.
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Hello~
<Soloxius> (Ivan) *runs his hand up Authere's leg* I'm sure you're not all as old as you think you are~ Why not teach a young dog a few tricks, hm~?
<Soloxius> (Authere) I-I-IVAN, please, you have that temptress garment on your head, please, remove it!
<Soloxius> (Ivan) Oh, I'll be removing something I'm wearing...~
<Soloxius> (Authere) *reaches up and knocks it off* I-IVAN!
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ....what was I... *looks down at The Bustier, then up to Authere in just a towel looking very defensive*
<Soloxius> (Ivan) ...I think I'm gonna be sick. Hope you enjoyed your massage, excuse me!! *dashes out holding his mouth*
<Soloxius> (Authere) ...young people these days, harrumph.
<Soloxius> *FIN*