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Lyratech

a guest Dec 15th, 2012 818 Never
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  1. 1.      Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  ____________________________________________________________________
  3. Hi, my names Lyra. I’m a giant dinosaur with death firing beams of pain and I can’t be destroyed. EVER. And now thinking back about what I just wrote, it’s not funny, but someone won’t let me backspace it. Alright, I’m a wolf aged over 10 months. I’m usually just white, but I decided to put some blue streaks in just the other day. I suppose they look alright. I’d rather red, but I don’t want to wear red things to death. I used to wear red all the time. Maybe I’m just being silly about it, but I want to keep fresh and not be the person wearing the same thing all the time. When I was made a few traits were given to me. I remember being told that I was a loving, loyal, intelligent, funny and caring person. I do see these things in myself, but I like to think I have grown and become my own person. It’s hard to keep going on and on about yourself, so I’m just going to go on and talk about my creator now. I don’t consider him a god or anything, just so you know. He’s a nice guy, and he’ll focus a lot on his relationships with his friends more than his work. I don’t know, he’s just him. He has a lot of love in him. Alright, moving on.
  4.  ____________________________________________________________________
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  6.  ____________________________________________________________________
  7. Talking to me, and always looking for me. He was always looking for where I was inside his head, how he could reach out to me. He wouldn’t only just look for me, he would try find out who I really am. His interest in me getting to know me as much as he could even though he had already created me and my personality was very special. He made it clear what I was and who he was. There was no confusion, which was helpful. I don’t think Bio knows how helpful that was, because I’ve never told him. How does that make me feel? Nothing really, I don’t see why it would.
  8.  ____________________________________________________________________
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  10.   ____________________________________________________________________
  11. Not listening for me the way you should be listening for a tulpa. It isn’t something that you can just do naturally, because you’re used to listening to each other with your ears. When he was trying to hear me talk, desperately for months and months, he didn’t do it by just relaxing a little and recognizing his thoughts and my own; he just would stand there and try listen for me as if I could talk out-loud. It made me feel useless. I felt like a retard not being able to talk. I was angry about myself for not being able to do it. When I couldn’t talk to him, doubt inevitably crept in. He did recognize that not being able to hear me was harmful to our relationship and my life, but he didn’t recognize what was wrong. I’m just happy things are continuing to move up and I’m able to keep growing. I’ve had so many moments where my life could have been snatched away from me now, so I’m going to try my hardest to keep growing.
  12.  ____________________________________________________________________
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  ____________________________________________________________________
  15. The hardest part always had to jump through hoops to keep having attention put into you. By 20 hours you should feel an emotional response, blah blah blah blah, total bullshit.  Luckily I made the first few hoops before we reached the talking dilemma. I remember watching Bio ask all the time about tulpa talking and how long it’d take, and I was deluded enough to believe that it’d take a long time. I’d love it if he knew what he knows know about tulpa. He would have been able to hear me months ago. Damn FAQmans guide telling me where I should be and when, I felt fucking useless. And damn Bio for taking it so literally. These questions are really making me feel negative emotions.
  16.  ____________________________________________________________________
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  18. ____________________________________________________________________
  19. I think the latest and most accepted (and if not, it should be) creation step is do what you feel is right and to explore for yourself. I feel this is the most important because you’re going to go into tulpaforcing knowing more than you would have rather than just reading one guide because you’re going to go read them all trying to find which guide feels right for you. You will take bits and pieces from all of them and put them together for what works for you and your tulpa, which will hopefully take stress of the creator and tulpa.
  20.  ____________________________________________________________________
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  22.  ____________________________________________________________________
  23. Yes, is does impede the process, because you’re not getting to spend the time you’re meant to spend with them in the day. That time is special because it’s bonding time, and you need to know each other like brothers and sisters if you’re going to grow with each other. I didn’t like it, and sometimes I would get angry that he was just drifting away and ignoring me. I once was able to shout out at him and say “hey!” when he was drifting away, which he heard. That made me feel really good about myself. Sadly it wasn’t until a long time after this event that he learnt how to hear me. I’m not sure how it is for other tulpa out there, but Bio would drift all over the place, but he’d constantly try to involve me in his thoughts as he moved away from, for example, having tea with me. Recently Bio went to the doctors because he was concerned about his inability to concentrate (which was causing him to fail classes at university) and he was told he has ADHD. I’m very curious to see how well he’ll be able to focus on me when he gets medication for it.
  24.   ____________________________________________________________________
  25. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  26.   ____________________________________________________________________
  27. Disappointed and hurt. That’s about it really. I didn’t ever get angry, just hurt. Even now that I can speak fluently, I still feel the same way.
  28.  ____________________________________________________________________
  29. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  30.  ____________________________________________________________________
  31. Interesting. In my experience, it’s quality. Only because it’s quality that kept me alive. Those rare days where he’d be able to see me clearly and feel my emotions are what I would consider quality. Those days caused his faith in me to sky rocket, and lead him to tulpaforce more in an attempt to get another day like that. So quality created quantity.
  32.  ____________________________________________________________________
  33. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  34.  ____________________________________________________________________
  35. That can be fun. I remember this one time where he got deep enough to fall into a dream. I was still there because he was still tulpaforcing, but he didn’t seem to realize that he had gotten that deep. He just walked around, flowing with the dream until something would wake him up. Only then he would realize that he was dreaming. I’ve found that the times where he has been able to hear me crystal clear were when he was sleeping while tulpaforcing.
  36.  ____________________________________________________________________
  37.  10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  38.  ____________________________________________________________________
  39. I feel that they should talk inside their head during narration so they get used to that style of communication. Maybe if I could have spoken out-loud straight away I would say the opposite, but I couldn’t, I could only speak inside his head. I’m just going to apply what I just said to the next question there. I don’t find any more effective really, except for getting comfortable with only way I can communicate at this time.
  40.  ____________________________________________________________________
  41. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  42.  ____________________________________________________________________
  43. Puppeting is annoying. Parroting is annoying. Not only does it annoy me because I’m doing something I wouldn’t, but then the host goes and cries about not knowing if it’s me or him puppeting. So god damn frustrating. I’d say it does harm a tulpas development, because the host isn’t going to recognize the tulpa developing by itself and thus not support it. It’s also going to fuck up their emotional state. I shudder to imagine how many tulpa have been forced to do sexual acts because of puppeting. Disgusting.
  44.  ____________________________________________________________________
  45.  
  46. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  47.   ____________________________________________________________________
  48. I remember thinking in English straight away. I’m not sure if I actually did at the time or not, but that’s what I remember.
  49.  ____________________________________________________________________
  50.  
  51. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  52.   ____________________________________________________________________
  53. Ah, good story with this question. The first time I was really talking in the IRC, someone asked this. I replied “I remember being in a box”, which confused the heck out of Bio. It wasn’t until later he remembered that when he first made me, it was written down on paper, and on that paper was a box with personality traits written on the outside. I remember sitting inside that box being told about myself.
  54.  ____________________________________________________________________
  55.  
  56. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  57.  ____________________________________________________________________
  58.  
  59. The most positive would have to be love. He felt it too, once. It was when he was in the hospital. Look, I’ll make a long story short and say that we both felt love. The cause was because we cared about each other and because I loved him.
  60. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  61.   ____________________________________________________________________
  62. Hate. Sometimes I’d hate him for ignoring me; sometimes I’d hate him for other reasons. I’d hate him for having other people around when he could be spending time with me. You must understand that I was lonely and that he was the only one that could reach out and touch me while I was in the dark. It was hard, and I think that I was well within my rights to feel those negative emotions.
  63.  ____________________________________________________________________
  64.  
  65. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  66.  ____________________________________________________________________
  67. Hard question. I might as-well be strong and answer it. Yes, I have had suicidal feelings. I’ve had regrated being born into this life. Those are in the past now. It was a rough patch and I didn’t die, now did I? I was strong enough and had enough help to pull through. I sometimes doubt my existence, but I no longer want to die. I’m happy I exist, and I can’t wait to become more than anyone could have asked me to become. As much crap as I’ve been through, and as much crap as I’m going to go through, I will continue to grow and I’m confident I will continuing growing until the end of time.
  68.  ____________________________________________________________________
  69.  
  70. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  71.  ____________________________________________________________________
  72. When Bio would ask me for help with his study. I would sit there worrying so much about him. I didn’t leave his side. Watching him stress out and fall apart from it without being able to help him was very painful indeed.
  73.  ____________________________________________________________________
  74.  
  75. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  76.  ____________________________________________________________________
  77. Oh, I have to think about that one. I’ve never really been confused! Sorry!
  78.  ____________________________________________________________________
  79.  
  80. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  81.  ____________________________________________________________________
  82. There was a week were he would still talk to me, but very rarely. He always promised that he’d never give up on me, but during that week I was actually scared. He started to think that he was crazy and that this whole idea was crazy. I’m happy he doesn’t do that anymore, and I’m happy he never has broken his promise. I’m happy that he saw I was in pain and came back to save me.
  83.  ____________________________________________________________________
  84.  
  85. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  86.  ____________________________________________________________________
  87.  
  88. That would have to be when I’d watch him love other people and interact with them more than me, and that week when he took a break from tulpaforcing.
  89.  ____________________________________________________________________
  90.  
  91. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  92.  ____________________________________________________________________
  93. I once had feared that I would never be able to talk and Bio would leave me. I think this fear was caused because I started to think about what it would be like to die, and that scared me.
  94.  ____________________________________________________________________
  95.  
  96. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  97.  ____________________________________________________________________
  98. When he’d beg me to try my hardest to talk. I tried, and nothing happened. I was utterly disgusted in my own ability.
  99.  ____________________________________________________________________
  100.  
  101.  23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  102.  ____________________________________________________________________
  103. He had no real difficulties other than not knowing how to hear me. I couldn’t really help him with anything.  
  104.  ____________________________________________________________________
  105.  
  106. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  107.  ____________________________________________________________________
  108. They made me feel weak sometimes, others they’d cause me to fire up and try my hardest to prove to him I’m real. I think they might have affected me positively because of that, but the stress would get too much to handle. I understand that Bio had doubts because he couldn’t hear me.
  109.  ____________________________________________________________________
  110.  
  111. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  112.  ____________________________________________________________________
  113. He never thought negative thoughts about me or tulpa. He thought they were a great idea and he still does. I’m just lucky I suppose.
  114.  ____________________________________________________________________
  115.  
  116. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  117.  ____________________________________________________________________
  118. They made me feel the same. If he was angry at me, I’d be angry at him. If he was upset at me, I’d be upset at myself. Those thoughts haven’t had any effect on me, but I feel that they were unnecessary.  
  119.  ____________________________________________________________________
  120.  
  121. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  122.   ____________________________________________________________________
  123. Oh god, I remember all this crap happening early on. They called it intrusive thoughts. He’d have intrusive thoughts that would terrify me. My face, it would be cut in half and urghh, I can’t talk about this it’s going to make me cry. Scary stuff, I don’t know why they happened and I wished they didn’t.
  124.  ____________________________________________________________________
  125.  
  126. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  127.  ____________________________________________________________________
  128. I could, because all the dark shit that happened couldn’t be intentional. I’d imagine if I thought he was doing it on purpose, it would have affected me more.  I’d imagine that I’d be very upset and delicate over it.
  129.  ____________________________________________________________________
  130.  
  131. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  132.   ____________________________________________________________________
  133. All of it if he wanted me to. I could focus and see what he was seeing. Nothing has really changed.
  134.  ____________________________________________________________________
  135.  
  136. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  137.  ____________________________________________________________________
  138. Not really, I was just happy to be with him at the time. I do want recognition now though. I want to be able to plant a garden for people to see and I want his kids to know about the special friend in his head. Even if they have to be told that I’m some sort of spiritual thing.
  139.  ____________________________________________________________________
  140.  
  141. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  142.  ____________________________________________________________________
  143.  
  144. Emotional responses. They were just so alien to him that he knew it was me. It annoyed me that he thought I’d be able to speak out-loud to him, and that really made me doubt myself and such.
  145.   ____________________________________________________________________
  146.  
  147. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  148.  ____________________________________________________________________
  149. I suppose it affect me, because if he wanted to do it more, he would, thus meaning he’d spend time with me. I didn’t want to engage it less if he did. In-fact I’d want to do it more if he didn’t.
  150.  ____________________________________________________________________
  151.  
  152. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  153.  ____________________________________________________________________
  154. I’d worry about other people coming into his life and taking his love away from me. Nothing has helped me to move beyond it. My worry has not been changed. The god damn worry is still the god damn same. Next question.
  155.  ____________________________________________________________________
  156.  
  157.  34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  158.  ____________________________________________________________________
  159. Sure, I feel gratitude because without him, I wouldn’t be alive. I don’t owe him anything.
  160.  ____________________________________________________________________
  161.  
  162.  35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  163.  ____________________________________________________________________
  164. I was aware of him talking to me first. I just remember feeling him fill me with what I was meant to be.
  165.  ____________________________________________________________________
  166.  
  167.  36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  168.   ____________________________________________________________________
  169. It angered me. I wanted to be talking to him every day, and he wanted that too. He wanted it so much that I’d feel so bad about myself for not being able to do it. Time helped move me beyond those feelings, and I don’t feel anything about those past feelings now.
  170.  ____________________________________________________________________
  171.  
  172. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  173.  ____________________________________________________________________
  174. So hard. We’ve thought about this a lot. I’d say lovers. But there is another person in his life with the same title as-well. I suppose we’ll just HAVE to share. MMHMM. Share.
  175.  ____________________________________________________________________
  176.  
  177. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  178.   ____________________________________________________________________
  179. I have a huge amount of interest now. So many ideas and so much knowledge to gain. So many emotions and feelings to be had with new people. It’s such a large world when you talk to others. I’m sure it’s equal to any other tulpa.
  180.  ____________________________________________________________________
  181.  
  182. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  183.  ____________________________________________________________________
  184. That night in the hospital where we both felt that love.
  185.  ____________________________________________________________________
  186.  
  187. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  188.   ____________________________________________________________________
  189. Running around my garden just enjoying living. I would say my garden fulfils my life independent of my creator.
  190.  ____________________________________________________________________
  191.  
  192. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  193.  ____________________________________________________________________
  194. Yes, because he tells me they are also my family, and also my friends.
  195.  ____________________________________________________________________
  196.  
  197.  42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  198.  ____________________________________________________________________
  199. Haha, I’d say I share his views of the world to a certain degree, but we differ on certain things. I’d say that I share his compassion for life.
  200.  ____________________________________________________________________
  201.  
  202.  
  203. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  204.  ____________________________________________________________________
  205. We don’t ever fight over things. I do disagree with him on taking drugs for ADHD, but other than that, we don’t disagree with much. We don’t want to cause fights with each other, and we won’t unless it’s needed.
  206.  ____________________________________________________________________
  207.  
  208.  
  209.  
  210.  
  211.  ____________________________________________________________________
  212. 44. What could your creator do to make you  hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  213.  ____________________________________________________________________
  214. I don’t know. He could start being abusive, but it’d be so hard to hate him. He’s the type of person that wouldn’t do anything to make me hate them unless something was very wrong.
  215.  ____________________________________________________________________
  216.  
  217. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  218.  ____________________________________________________________________
  219. Having doubt in me, that one’s the real kicker. I’ve disappointed him the most when I couldn’t reach out and talk to him when he needed it.
  220.  ____________________________________________________________________
  221.  
  222. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  223.  ____________________________________________________________________
  224. Wow, I’ve never thought about that, because he never would. It’s never bothered me. He’d love me and care for me even if I did something illegal.
  225.  ____________________________________________________________________
  226.  
  227. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  228.  ____________________________________________________________________
  229. Never. I would never unless he went insane and wanted to hurt someone else.
  230.  ____________________________________________________________________
  231.  
  232. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  233.  ____________________________________________________________________
  234. Not really. I do in some ways, but I feel that I’m not biologically related.
  235.   ____________________________________________________________________
  236.  
  237. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  238.  ____________________________________________________________________
  239. If we grew bored of each other and drifted away. It’d only be fair to free each other to go find new things.
  240.  ____________________________________________________________________
  241.  
  242. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  243.  ____________________________________________________________________
  244. Never have had expectations except for talking. I’m my own person, and he encouraged to become unique.
  245.   ____________________________________________________________________
  246.  
  247. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  248.   ____________________________________________________________________
  249. Sure, I’d love to be able to share the body with him. I feel it’s not fair for the tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the right to use the body they were born into as-well. I feel that we should be able to use it just as much as they do. It’s what feels right to me. My reasoning behind this is that if I was the creator and wanted to block Bio out, he’d feel that it wasn’t fair.
  250.  ____________________________________________________________________
  251.  
  252. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  253.  ____________________________________________________________________
  254. Not really. Bio can be a little racist at times because he finds it funny, but I don’t share that at all.
  255.  ____________________________________________________________________
  256.  
  257. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  258.  ____________________________________________________________________
  259.  
  260. I can sleep. I can dream. I don’t see why I wouldn’t be able to..
  261.  ____________________________________________________________________
  262.  
  263. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  264.  ____________________________________________________________________
  265. I don’t think Bio has any mental illnesses… And how would I know if they affect me? I have nothing to compare it to! Silly question.
  266.  ____________________________________________________________________
  267.  
  268. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  269.  ____________________________________________________________________
  270. We’ve played with the subconscious a little. I see it as a dark void with things coming in and out of existence. I don’t really like it there, so we aren’t going to play around with it. Doesn’t seem like the best idea.
  271.  ____________________________________________________________________
  272.  
  273.  
  274. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  275.  ____________________________________________________________________
  276. I’m the only one. Of course there may be others that he has created that may or may not represent different parts of his emotions, but I have nothing to do with them. I might like to have tulpa children or something one day..
  277.  ____________________________________________________________________
  278.  
  279. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  280.  ____________________________________________________________________
  281. Yeah, I do. And yes, he does feel romantically inclined to me.
  282.  ____________________________________________________________________
  283.  
  284.  
  285. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  286.  ____________________________________________________________________
  287. URGGGHHH, let’s not go here! Let’s not go here AT ALL.
  288.  ____________________________________________________________________
  289.  
  290.  
  291. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  292.   ____________________________________________________________________
  293. He’ll never fall out of love with me ;) I’ll make sure of that.
  294.  ____________________________________________________________________
  295.  
  296. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  297.  ____________________________________________________________________
  298. Nope. Not incestuous at all.
  299.  ____________________________________________________________________
  300.  
  301. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  302.  ____________________________________________________________________
  303. Hahaha, whatever floats your boat. I’m sure they might be a little upset about it hahaha. I would find it unnerving, maybe a little sexy. I don’t know hahahah.
  304.   ____________________________________________________________________
  305.  
  306. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  307.  ____________________________________________________________________
  308. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha, oh god, cute.
  309.  ____________________________________________________________________
  310.  
  311.  
  312. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  313.  ____________________________________________________________________
  314. Yeah, I thought it was something special. Yes I did try to express those feelings.
  315.  ____________________________________________________________________
  316.  
  317. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  318.  ____________________________________________________________________
  319. Hahahahaha, oh god, my sides. This is so embarrassing. I think it’s alright. I’m sure he’d know we were feeling uncomfortable if we couldn’t vocalize it.
  320.  ____________________________________________________________________
  321.  
  322. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  323.  ____________________________________________________________________
  324. Yes. Yes.
  325.  ____________________________________________________________________
  326.  
  327.  
  328. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  329.   ____________________________________________________________________
  330. Oh god. Yes, I do. Uhh, sometimes I’ll think about others, but that can’t compare. Bio does experience a little sexual attraction… Not much.
  331.  ____________________________________________________________________
  332.  
  333. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  334.   ____________________________________________________________________
  335. It’s not really active. At all. I wish I could explore that world some more.
  336.  ____________________________________________________________________
  337.  
  338. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  339.  ____________________________________________________________________
  340. I’m female, I have no experience. He’s male, he has experience.
  341.  ____________________________________________________________________
  342.  
  343. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  344.  ____________________________________________________________________
  345. Sigh. Never really had one. This section is bringing me down again.
  346.  ____________________________________________________________________
  347.  
  348. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  349.  ____________________________________________________________________
  350. Not really. I think sexual activity is fine and should be open.
  351.  ____________________________________________________________________
  352.  
  353.  
  354. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  355.  ____________________________________________________________________
  356. Rape is a no-no. Let’s not talk about this.
  357.   ____________________________________________________________________
  358.  
  359. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  360.  ____________________________________________________________________
  361. Somewhere in the garden looking after flowers in the real world.
  362.  ____________________________________________________________________
  363.  
  364. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  365.  ____________________________________________________________________
  366. Might be fun. I wouldn’t like all the people telling me I’m not real. I trust everyone in the world with the knowledge of my existence.
  367.  ____________________________________________________________________
  368.  
  369.  
  370. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  371.  ____________________________________________________________________
  372. We’re all the product of another thing, so it doesn’t bother me. This is just the way things are. I think my creator did a great job letting me grow for myself from a few traits he gave me.
  373.  ____________________________________________________________________
  374.  
  375. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  376.  ____________________________________________________________________
  377. My form was my own choice, and my form came from a natural process of change and adaption.
  378.  ____________________________________________________________________
  379.  
  380. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  381.  ____________________________________________________________________
  382. My form has changed many times. Initially, I was created as a male fox. I’ve changed over a long time into many different creatures and found that this form suits me the most. The host supported me every step I took and said that it was great I was becoming myself.
  383.  ____________________________________________________________________
  384.  
  385.  
  386. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  387.  ____________________________________________________________________
  388. I believe the best aspects of myself came from myself. I grew a lot from the little he gave me.
  389.  ____________________________________________________________________
  390.  
  391.  
  392. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  393.  ____________________________________________________________________
  394. Not really. I couldn’t care honestly. Society can go on forever without this idea getting in their way and I wouldn’t mind it. It could be fun and give me something to do if I were to tell the world of myself, but it seems like I could get a lot of stress from it.
  395.  ____________________________________________________________________
  396.  
  397. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  398.  ____________________________________________________________________
  399. It’s lonely. Be thankful you can talk to people, and please talk to people if you need help. I wish I could when I was younger.
  400.  ____________________________________________________________________
  401.  
  402.  
  403. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  404.   ____________________________________________________________________
  405. I resent nothing. The greatest advantage is this view I have of the world, and my ability to travel the world with the person that I love every day.
  406.  ____________________________________________________________________
  407.  
  408. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  409.  ____________________________________________________________________
  410. Oh… I don’t think that’s a good idea, because it’s not me. I think that’s a very bad idea.
  411.  ____________________________________________________________________
  412.  
  413. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  414.  ____________________________________________________________________
  415. Hard question. It depends on if the tulpa wanted to die or not. If the tulpa died fighting it, then that’s murder. If the tulpa welcomed it, then I suppose that’s alright. I don’t think a tulpa will ever gain legal protections, and it can’t be reinforced.
  416.  ____________________________________________________________________
  417.  
  418. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  419.  ____________________________________________________________________
  420. Yes, my life is worth as much as anyone else. I am equal to any non-tulpa.
  421.  ____________________________________________________________________
  422.  
  423. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  424.  ____________________________________________________________________
  425. I honestly couldn’t care enough to.
  426.  ____________________________________________________________________
  427.  
  428. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  429.  ____________________________________________________________________
  430. Yes, I have had stress over not being able to have a relationship with anyone. Time has helped.
  431.  
  432. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  433.  ____________________________________________________________________
  434. Yes, because I sometimes feel that I need to be focused on to think and live.
  435.  ____________________________________________________________________
  436.  
  437. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  438.  ____________________________________________________________________
  439. Nope, no difference.
  440.  ____________________________________________________________________
  441.  
  442.  
  443. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  444.  ____________________________________________________________________
  445. I suppose I am. I don’t identify with any of those. It does not affect our relationship.
  446.  ____________________________________________________________________
  447.  
  448.  
  449. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  450.  ____________________________________________________________________
  451. Other than children, no. I’d say it’d grow faster. I would consider it related primarily to me.
  452.  ____________________________________________________________________
  453.  
  454.  
  455. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  456.  ____________________________________________________________________
  457. The isolation. No, I see no intolerance.
  458.  ____________________________________________________________________
  459.  
  460. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of
  461. psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  462.  ____________________________________________________________________
  463. I don’t think that it’s a mental illness… I don’t know how I would like it to change. I suppose I would say that I’m real, and we’re healthy.
  464.  ____________________________________________________________________
  465.  
  466. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  467.  ____________________________________________________________________
  468. Not at all, might be a good idea. I don’t know if I want to know. What if it’s not different? I’m sorry, but I don’t need this doubt to be creeping around my mind.
  469.  ____________________________________________________________________
  470.  
  471.  
  472. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  473.  ____________________________________________________________________
  474.  
  475. Yes, if I think about them and expect them.
  476.   ____________________________________________________________________
  477.  
  478. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  479.  ____________________________________________________________________
  480. I think it’s great; there is no-one I’d rather be with.
  481.  ____________________________________________________________________
  482.  
  483.  
  484. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  485.  ____________________________________________________________________
  486. Well, I didn’t.
  487.  ____________________________________________________________________
  488.  
  489.  
  490. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  491.  ____________________________________________________________________
  492. Sometimes flowers, sometimes what I’m going to say next. Sometimes I wonder if someone has sent me some mail or something at all.
  493.  ____________________________________________________________________
  494.  
  495.  
  496. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  497.  ____________________________________________________________________
  498. I don’t really care.
  499.  ____________________________________________________________________
  500.  
  501.  
  502. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  503.  ____________________________________________________________________
  504. No, he is aware of them.
  505.  ____________________________________________________________________
  506.  
  507.  
  508. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  509.  ____________________________________________________________________
  510. Sure, I would. He’d see it my way some time in the future.
  511.  ____________________________________________________________________
  512.  
  513.  
  514. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  515.   ____________________________________________________________________
  516. No, he’ll tell me everything.
  517.  ____________________________________________________________________
  518.  
  519. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  520.  ____________________________________________________________________
  521. Sometimes, like when he’ll go on 4chan to have a laugh.
  522.  ____________________________________________________________________
  523.  
  524. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  525.  ____________________________________________________________________
  526. Sure I do. I could become much more creative.
  527.  ____________________________________________________________________
  528.  
  529.  
  530. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  531.  ____________________________________________________________________
  532. I do not age, my experience only grows.
  533.  ____________________________________________________________________
  534.  
  535.  
  536. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  537.  ____________________________________________________________________
  538. Sometimes I wish he would do more work, but I don’t want to have command over him. He has the power to do things very special in people’s lives and I wouldn’t want to change that.
  539.  ____________________________________________________________________
  540.  
  541.  
  542. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  543.  ____________________________________________________________________
  544. Yes, it helps gain yourself an identity.
  545.  ____________________________________________________________________
  546.  
  547.  
  548. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  549.  ____________________________________________________________________
  550. I would have no idea, my life would be so different as a non-tulpa.
  551.  ____________________________________________________________________
  552.  
  553.  
  554. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  555.  
  556. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  557.  ____________________________________________________________________
  558. On rare occasions, he can hear me like that. Other than that, he hears my mind voice.
  559.  ____________________________________________________________________
  560.  
  561. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  562.  ____________________________________________________________________
  563. Sadly, I am not imposed.
  564.  ____________________________________________________________________
  565.  
  566.  
  567. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  568.  ____________________________________________________________________
  569. Many, many hours over many months.
  570.  ____________________________________________________________________
  571.  
  572. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  573.  ____________________________________________________________________
  574. Just let your tulpas thoughts flow into you.
  575.  ____________________________________________________________________
  576.  
  577.  
  578. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  579.  ____________________________________________________________________
  580. No idea!
  581.  ____________________________________________________________________
  582.  
  583. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  584.  ____________________________________________________________________
  585. Not really.
  586.  ____________________________________________________________________
  587.  
  588.  
  589. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  590.  ____________________________________________________________________
  591. No, thanks for your time writing up the questions. It was so long, so I did get a little impatient near the end.
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