STRAFESCRIPTV6

STRAFE®
THE MOVIE
Now with 90% more original ideas
Written by Sgt Nate V


APRIL 1995
Somewhere in California, A grey-haired bespectacled scientist named Gordon types lines of code onto his computer. He finishes up and compiles the code into a program named ENGINE.EXE. He runs the executable and the monitor shows a simple first-person environment with grey rooms. Gordon exits and runs the program again. The rooms are different. Gordon’s program has changing levels.
GORDON (O.S.)
Success.
Gordon turns in his chair to face his phone. He opens a phonebook and dials the number for Pixel Titans, Los Angeles. He talks with the CEO of Pixel Titans, Stephen, who is a casual man in his 20’s with brown eyes and hair.
STEPHEN
Hello, this is Pixel Titans.
GORDON
I’ve finished another build of my engine. I’ll send it to you right now.
Gordon hangs up and inserts a blank copy disk. He copies the program to this disk and puts it in an envelope. He signs the envelope (PLACEHOLDER ADDRESS NAME, WILL UPDATE) and puts it in his mailbox. He raises the red arm and goes back into his house. The mailman comes, retrieves the envelope, and drives off in his truck. Back in Gordon’s house, he starts up the program again and walks through the newly generated level. Suddenly, he sees a strange creature with pointy ears, pale skin, long arms and large white eyes in an orange and black jumpsuit. This is a Glutton. He exits the program and checks out the code. He sees lines of code pop repeatedly pop in. Somehow, the game was generating more than just levels!
GORDON
What the hell?
Gordon starts the program up again and sees more stuff. Stalkers, tall, black hooded figures with plasma pistols, Carriers, terrifying creatures with pincers for limbs, corpses, blood, it’s all too realistic. He sees that the program has been renamed to STRAFE.EXE. He has an idea. He calls Stephen again.
GORDON
I just got some stuff done. I’ll send you what I have.
STEPHEN
I’d like to see what you’ve got.
Gordon copies the program to another disk and puts it in his mailbox.
JUNE
It is time again for E3; The Electronic Entertainment Expo. There are booths showcasing games. The Pixel Titans showcase is ready to begin. There are security guards in Pixel Titans clothing and Cameramen. The audience is eager to see what Pixel Titans has in store for this year. A man with a ponytail walks up in front of a large grid of screens.
SPOKESMAN
There is game. There is reality. But the question is, is it a game? Or is it reality?
The spokesman walks to the side and presses a button on a remote. The screens turn on. Each shows a small fragment of footage. Said footage is gameplay of STRAFE®. The audience is amazed! Tommy, messy hair, 17, however, rolls his eyes and claps with a smirk on his face. A Glutton runs up on screen and PUNCHES through the monitors! It SMACKS the spokesman down with its wrench and staggers toward the audience, which runs off, save for Tommy.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
TOMMY!
The Glutton is about land a blow on Tommy, but suddenly it turns into a green wireframe and fades away. He gets back up and the rest of the crowd, chattering about the whole event, walks back to their seats. The spokesman gets back up, wipes the blood off of his face, chuckles and holds up a floppy disk for STRAFE®.
SPOKESMAN
STRAFE®!
The crowd goes WILD!
MAY 1996
We slowly zoom in on footage of STRAFE® seen on a monitor. At one point, the footage freezes and everything turns into green wireframes on a black background. Once the screen is completely black, a news report BLIPS in.
REPORTER 1
Are you ready for STRAFE®? Studies say no.
At a graveyard, a local citizen is being interviewed. A headline below says “STRAFE® KILLS YOUNG BOY”
CITIZEN
First his face melted. Then his head exploded! He’s dead!
Another news report.
REPORTER 2
The Pope wade in, calling STRAFE® sick…as in F**king sweet!
Tommy enters a Babbage’s store in town. He picks up a big box copy of STRAFE® and a new monitor. He pays the cashier and heads home on his skateboard. Back at home, Tommy unplugs his old monitor and puts the new one in its spot. He inserts the installation disk for STRAFE® and executes INSTALL.EXE. Once the installation has finished, he starts up STRAFE.EXE. He grabs the shotgun and enters the teleporter into the Icarus. What follows is some quick cuts between Tommy and the game. Eventually, he dies in the game. But he doesn’t care.
TOMMY
This’ll be fun for my friends.
The next week, Tommy installs four more copies of STRAFE® onto the other computers in his basement LAN Club. Montage of him calling all his friends occurs after he installs the last copy. One hour later, all his friends come over. Mikey - Long hair, red and blue cap, 18 - Buddy - dark skin, yellow tank top, 17 - Jared - nerdy, hair, wears glasses, 15 - and Abby – ponytail, mauve shirt, 16 - sit at the other four computers.
TOMMY
Alright. The challenge today is to get past the first zone as fast as you can. Ready, set, GO!
Tommy and the others start playing.