Deadmeat Chronicles: Management Styles

>You are a rich bitch.
>You love your fluffies but even you have to take a break to take care of business.
>That vet was so full of shit, you should bull doze down the property!
>Sir William Reginald has not done anything to hurt your precious Princess Princess.
>But as a precaution you are keeping him close to you for now.
>You had to take care of business in the little girls room and are coming back to get to work.
>You left the TV on to keep Sir William Reginald and Princess Princess occupied.
>You walk back in and see that a special on cheetahs is on and Princess Princess and Sir William Reginald are yelling at the screen.
>The cat is chasing a gazelle and Princess Princes is shivering covering her face with her hooves crying, “Munsta get wun wun pony!”
>Sir William Reginald is shaking his hoof at the screen, “Yoo have big hownies! Gif big owchies!”
>”Wun! Munsta gowin’ get yooooo!”
>”Gif owchies dum dum!”
>The cheetah leaps and lands on the gazelle and starts to kill it.
>”NUUUU!!!”
>”Yoo DUM DUM! Gif dum dum owchies munsta! Munsta gud munsta giving bad dum dum biggest owchies!”
>Princess Princess covers her eyes and cries while Sir William Reginald keeps yelling at the gazelle and cheering the cheetah.
>”Oh my dear babies, you shouldn’t have seen that.”
>You pick up the remote and change the channel.
>’And as we see the cheetah mother brings her babies to teach them about eat-‘
*click*
>”Whewe munsta go?” Sir William Reginald seems perplexed at the disappearance of the predator.
>The TV comes to life, ‘Today on modern marvels….Locks!’
>Sir William quickly quiets down.
>He settles back in his pet bed and lays down with his hurt leg up watching the TV.
>Princess Princess trots up to you.
>She is shaking with tears still in her eyes, “Munsta scawe Pwincess Pwincess mommeh!”
>You lean over and pick her up, “Its ok, mommy is here now.”
>You hug your most precious fluffy close letting her coo in your ear as her fear melts away.
>You hear the work crews outside putting on the sound barrier.
>You walk to your computer and sit down putting Princess Princess in your lap.
>She sits and sings an out of tune song smiling and happy to be with her mommy.
>You start going over invoices and orders.
>You double check on incoming bills collected and outstanding debts.
>You check on payroll and the bank accounts.
>You pick up the phone and start to make phone calls.
>”Ok, who the fuck is this?”
>”Ok, I want you to buy the supplies for the perfume factory.”
>”Do you think you can handle that shit stain?”
>She lowers her voice and does an exaggerated accent, “Huyuk! I dun have to speak dumbfuck do I? Hurr durr!”
>She hangs up the phone, “That is taken care of. Now what’s next?”
>Princess Princess mewls as you scratches her behind her ear and the maroon unicorn tentatively glances at you.
>”Oh yea, mommy needs to address worker’s needs!”
>She starts to dial the phone again.
>”Hey it’s me. I understand that there is a strike at my factory…”
>”The reason I have these factories in third world countries is so I don’t have to put up with this fucking worker’s rights shit!”
>”…I don’t want to hear fucking excuses! Pay off some police and have these fuckers beaten into submission!”
>”And if beating them doesn’t work close the fucking factory and move down the street where the groveling locals  are more appreciative of not drinking water filtered through shit!”
>”Make it happen!”
>Well that is that, you roll your alicorn on her back and scratch her belly.
>”Mommeh gud mommeh!” she says adorably.
>”Mommy wishes she could spend more time with you but she must make sure things get done baby.”
>”Dum dum…”
>You look around, Sir William Reginald must be talking to the TV again.
>You look at him and he is looking at you.
>”What did you say Sir William Reginald?”
>”Yoo dum dum, nee to be wif hewd make suwe dey doo wha yoo say.”
>You can swear he is looking at you if as if he is lecturing.
>Princess Princess scrambles up, “Yoo bad fwuffy! Mommeh gud hoomin smawty fwen!”
>He looks at Princess Princess, “Dat nuu yoo mommeh! Dat nuu fwuffy!”
>Princess Princess screams in rage then babbles angrily unable to make words.
>You just smile and hold her back, “Oh Sir William Reginald? Have you ever been a smarty?”
>He snorts at you and lays his head back down looking at the TV.
>Did you hit a nerve?
>Princess Princess settles down as you grab a brush and start to bush her fluff.
>She still is shooting a dagger stare at the healing maroon unicorn.
>”Did you ever delegate authority?”
>He turns again, “Wha dat?”
>“Where you give someone command over a section of your herd.”
>He looks confused not understanding what you mean.
>You think for the best way to describe it, “Someone who speaks for the smarty.”
>”They tell other fluffies what to do but they answer to the smarty and do what he says.”
>You can see the wheels turning in his head.
>It looks like the poor thing might be in pain.
>He looks back at the TV, “Deadmeat haf mane owchie fwen fwuffy and speshul fwen fwuffy…”
>So he was a smarty!
>He is opening up some more!
>”Then you should know that you don’t have to be with your herd to make sure stuff gets done.”
>”Nuu. Haf to be wif fwuffy. Dey nuu wemembeh wha do.”
>”So no fluffy can remember what to do? What about the two other fluffies you mentioned?”
>”Deadmeat onwy meet some fwuffy who wemembeh… Snuggle Wuggle onwy fuffy remembweh wike Deadmeat.”
>You look back at the computer screen checking dividend pay outs and expenditure off sets.
>”So how long do the smart fluffies remember for?”
>He is transfixed on the TV as they go over latches.
>”Aww fwuffy foget afteh yewwow baww go up den down den up den down den up den down.”
>You quickly run through the up downs in your head, “So three days then?”
>You pick up your alicorn, “Did you hear that baby? If you want to find the smartest fluffies in the herd you should ask them all to come back in two days.”
>”Whoever can do it is smart enough to delegate to!” You finish with a squeal and rub your face in her belly.
>Oh how you love hearing her laugh.
>”Too days?... wha too days?”
>You look over and see the injured fluffy looking at you again, he was paying attention to you and the TV?
>He is smart, “Ummm, when the yellow ball goes up then down then up then down again. That is two days.”
>”Umm, here! Maybe this will let you know about numbers.”
>You switch the TV to PBS.
>”Ok, mommy needs to check on the fluffies, come on Princess.”
>You leave the room and look back.
>Wow, he is staring intently at that TV.
>It doesn’t take you long to do your rounds.
>Princess Princess took a little spill when some rambunctious fluffies knocked over the chair she was in while Alexander was hugging you.
>She’s alright so everything is still good.
>You have had 20 fluffies die today, about time to do some more adopting.
>You grab up a bag and start to head back.
>You want to see Sir William Reginald’s face when you surprise him.