Dayum nigga

>walk into Gamestop
>ask for a copy of NBA Jam 2013
>"What?"
>weed slowly begins spilling from my pockets
>oh god not again
>start seeing KKK members in the corners of my vision
>room looking like it's full of burning crosses
>"Yo nigga you gotsta hook me up wit sum NBA Jam 2013 son"
>"I'm sorry, I don't understand what you're saying"
>struggling to contain my inebriation
>clenching asscheeks together to hold in my bags of cocaine
>meanwhile weed is billowing out of my pockets
>voice reduced to a mumble
>"hook a brotha up nigga please dawg I gots money dawg MBA Jam please nigga get a brotha a game nigga"
>"Are you ok?"
>cocaine breaches through my asscheeks
>propelled forward at 420mph
>crash through the Gamestop employee's counter
>he's holding on to me for dear life
>all the while weed is flowing out of my pockets like my pants are being hotboxed
>crash through the entire row of buildings in the strip mall, broken glass shards in my face
>yelling "MBA JAM NIGGA PLEASE MONEY I SKIP DIS MONTH'S CHILD SUPPO-T NIGGA"
>Gamestop employee is covered in weed and cocaine
>my pocket rocket shows no signs of stopping
>he tilts me backwards
>the sheer force of my weed has reached 420^420mph, we are now propelling upwards
>the weed and cocaine intertwines and falls down to earth in glorious green and purple streams as we head towards the moon
>children below frolic in the mess falling from my anus
>the g-force is causing my asscheeks to flap vigorously and create a gale
>weed and cocaine blowing through the air on the planet below
>360 miles upwards now
>Gamestop employee has died from lack of swag, his body falls to the surface below and is dissolved by my ass cocaine
>my transformation is almost complete
>as I leave the atmosphere my afro sprouts and my tail grows, acting as a rudder
>suddenly, I'm falling back to earth
>the pressure created by my ass cocaine has finally begun to wane
>falling through the stratosphere, I use my afro to slow my fall
>try to steer toward my dealer's house to score more shit
>smash through the ceiling
>"ay nigga u got sum mo crack fo me?"
>SWAT teams burst out of every possible hiding spot, shooting us both dead
>"Good work boys, that's 2 dead niggers, bag 'em and tag 'em"
>wake up
>sit up off my beanbag chair
>wipe ash off my shirt
>hands sticky from resin
>realize I was black the whole time
>have the munchies
>decide to go get some food
>open the door
>get on the floor
>hands behind back
>arrested for being black
>sheeit