Short - Lyra thread - Conscript Ivan and Sergei

>Be Lyra
>After months of research and building you finally did it
>You made it to the human world.
>It's a lot colder then you tough it was going to be
>No matter!
>Knocking on the closest building's door you await your first contact with the human world
"I SEE AGAINST BETTER JUDGEMENT SERGEI ORDER COLORED TALKING HORSE. TELL ME LITTLE HORSIE, WHAT BRINGS YOU TO GLORIOUS MOTHERLAND."
>Ordered? What?
>"I-I... Uhhh..."
"LITTLE HORSIE I NOT OF HAVE PATIENCE FOR SILENCE."
>"Hu-humans?"
"YOU SEEK HUMANS? WELL HORSIE YOU HAVE COME TO THE RIGHT OF PLACES FOR THE BEST OF ALL HUMANS. COME INSIDE. WE DRINK."
>You follow the strange human into his home
"SERGEI GET DOWN STAIRS. LITTLE TALKING HORSE YOU WANTED IS HERE."


>"IVAN I AM CLEAN MOSIN. I WILL BE OF DOWN IN MINUTE"
"WHERE ARE MANNERS. LITTLE HORSIE, WHAT IS NAME?"
>"H-huh? Oh! My name's Lyra."
>Are humans always this loud?
"NO NEED FOR HIM, COME LYRE HORSE AND TASTE SWEET VODKA."
>You're not quite sure what Vodka is, but if this human is making such a big deal of it you might as well try it.
>you follow him with out a word
>He walks into the kitchen and grabs a large glass bottle
>It looks like water
"NOW THIS LYRE HORSE IS THE BEST THING ABOUT WHOLE WORLD."
>He pours a small glass of the strange liquid and hands (!) it to you
>"Thank you."
"DO NOT OF THANK ME LYRE HORSE, THANK SERGEI FOR MAKING WONDERFUL VODKA."
>Holding the glass between your hooves you bring it close to your mouth
>Your nose burns as you catch a whiff of the drink
>Eyes watering you move it away from your face
"WHAT IS WRONG LITTLE HORSIE. DRINK VODKA AND MAKE MOTHERLAND PROUD."
>With a moment of hesitation you bring the glass to your lips
>Flipping it up quickly you attempt to down the whole glass in one go
>Liquid fire runs down your throat
>Ivan's eyes go wide at the sight
"LITTLE PONY THINK SHE IS BETTER THEN IVAN AT DRINKING?!"
>He grabs the entire bottle and takes a deep swing
>You on the other hand are coughing and wheezing from the intense burning

>Ivan falls on the ground screaming something about crushing fascist dogs
>Your head is spinning
>After the intense pain subsided you were left with a pleasant warmth in your gut
"THEN WE PUSH FILTHY GODS FROM MOTHERLAND AND BECOME HEROES OF USSR!"
>"IVAN, WHAT IS MEANING OF ALL THIS NOISE!"
"I WAS TELLING LYRE HORSE OF TIME WE WERE HEROES OF MOTHERLAND."
>"IVAN DID YOU OF DRINK ALL OF THE VODKA?"
"YES COMRADE, ME AND LYRE HORSE DRANK AND LAUGHED MANY FUNS."
>"I-I uhh... I had one glass."
>"LITTLE PONY SEEMS TO HANDLE HER VODKA BETTER THEN YOU IVAN."
>Ivan howls with laughter
>Humans are strange.
"WHAT SERGEI NOT SEE WAS IVAN DRINK ENTIRE BOTTLE AND MAKE MOTHER AND FATHER PROUD."
>Sergei rolls his eyes and turns his attention to you
>"I AM SURPRISED TO SEE LITTLE PONY GOT HERE SO FAST, MAGAZINE ORDER HAS NOT EVEN BEEN MAILED."
>"What do you mean ordered? I got here on my own."
>Ivan speaks back up
"SILLY PONY WAS IN AD IN MAGAZINE, SERGEI THOUGH WAS OF CUTE SO BOUGHT IT."
>A knock sounds at the door
>"SERGEI GET DOOR WHILE I GET BACK ON FEET."
>He opens the door to the freezing winds
>There's a man standing outside with human world horse that's dyed green
>"OH IS THIS HORSE I ORDERED? THEN WHAT IS THAT LYRE HORSE DOING HERE?"
>The mailman says something in what sounds like gibberish
>"SILLY MAILSLAV WE ALREADY GET OF COLORED HORSE. THIS ONE IS BETTER BECAUSE IT TALKS!"
>Sergei slams the door on his face
>"NOW COME HERE LYRE PONY SERGEI WANT TO BRUSH MANE"

3/3 THIS STORY WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SERGEI-BRAND VODKA. MOTHERLAND STRONG!