Amorous Argentine

Dec 21st, 2019
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  1. “So like, at my job they added these self-check-out things,” a lizard woman said. She chomped down on her pizza and swallowed it instantly. “I'm thinking they'll replace us with robots. You know, just rolling around stocking shit. Don't need to pay a robot. Robots don't unionize.”
  3. “Hey, maybe if they become self-aware, they'll fight for unions before they fight sentients, eh?” a human man replied. He sat opposite to her in a dilapidated booth, his head propped up on the table with a hand. “That's gonna be the next terminator sequel I bet.”
  5. “Terminator Walmart. I'd watch it.” She finished off the crust of the slice with two bites. “You buy the tickets and I'll buy the popcorn.” The lizard leaned back into her seat. “The guys at the kiosk always ask for ID. It sucks being a Tegu sometimes. Nobody can guess your age. They see the spots and just zone out.” She waved a hand across her body. The man took a moment to look at her. Abbey. Abbey's elaborate white and black patterns decorated her body. They almost looked like flowing waves in water. They clashed horribly with the bright orange tank-top she had on. He quickly shifted his attention away from her chest.
  7. “I guess you're not gonna look too old then. Second I hit thirty I'm out for the count.” He straightened up. “Grey settles in and my face falls out.” He blew a breath of air to accentuate his point. “Being a lizard sounds good sometimes. Save for the whole eating bugs part.”
  9. “Dude, we don't eat bugs.” Abbey threw a crumpled up napkin at the man. “Humans eat bugs. I've seen those weird lollipop things. The ones with the scorpions.” She cleared her throat. “My name is Bobby,” she mocked, clearly trying to capture his voice, “my favorite snacks are fat juicy grasshoppers and simmered scorpions.” Her snout curled up into a smile.
  11. “Hey, I think I saw you drooling when you said that,” Robert said with a sly smile.
  13. “Man, I'm gonna toss the salt shaker at you next,” Abbey replied with a laugh. Robert's smile softened at hearing her giggle. It was getting worse. He had to say something soon. “Anyways.” She rolled her head. “You up for coming over today?”
  15. “Uh, sure. Yeah.” Robert nodded as casually as he could. “Got any new movies?”
  17. “Nah, the ISP fuckers sent a letter. Probably won't download for a while. There's always the classics.” She took a hefty swig from her cardboard cup, tilting her head all the way back. Her patterns smoothed out ever so slightly on her throat. Robert couldn't help but find it cute, although he couldn't quite tell why. Abbey's head came back down and she let out a content sigh. “Hey, maybe we can do a drinking game. Take a shot for every 'fuck' in Pulp Fiction.”
  19. “I think we'd both die from that.” He glanced at his own cup, wondering if he should take a sip of watery soda. “Maybe something tamer than that. A shot for every explosion in Demolition Man?”
  21. “Haven't seen that one in a while. We could still die,” Abbey said with a hint of a laugh in her voice. “Let's just figure it out at my place. I'm starting to sink into the cushions and my tail needs a stretch.” She stepped up and out of the booth, bringing her cup along with her. Robert nodded and collected all their refuse onto a tray, discarding all of it on their way out of the pizza parlor.
  23. Robert glanced over his shoulder, back at the little restaurant. He hadn't thought about it before, but how often had they been there? Ate garbage and talked about nothing in particular? All that time with nothing changing. “You're gonna have to walk the whole way if you don't get over here!” Abbey joked.
  25. “Could use the exercise,” Robert replied, turning his attention back to Abbey. Her car was a hand-me-down in the most explicit sense. A battered blue Chevy impala, straight out of the 90's. Every time he pulled the door open, he half expected it to fall off its hinges. Fortunately it wouldn't be this time. He stepped inside, shut the door, and settled into the aged leather. He must've imprinted on the chair by now.
  27. “What're you feeling today? Steely Dan? Maybe some AC/DC?” Abbey asked.
  29. “Anything from this century?”
  31. Abbey gave his arm a light punch. “AC/DC it is.” She fished her keys out of her cargo shorts and mashed them into the ignition. With a twist the car coughed to life. The tegu quickly fiddled with the radio and soon enough, a crackly Australian man was blaring through the speakers, backed by several loud guitars. Robert instantly relaxed. It was utter peace having familiar rock blare through the tinny speakers. “I knew you'd enjoy it,” Abbey said over the roar of sound.
  32. _
  34. The drive to Abbey's house was an uneasy one. Robert couldn't help stealing glances at her as he tried to figure out his confusing thoughts. Despite being a completely different species, she still had the all too pleasing female features present in Robert's own ape race. His thoughts briefly sidetracked into wondering what other ape sentients looked like before snapping back to Abbey. The man had never bothered to learn cup sizes, but she had what he would call modest, which fit perfectly on her softer form. That softer form shone through in her thighs that seemed squeezed by her shorts. “Look, if I got pizza grease on me, just say it,” Abbey said suddenly, throwing Robert off.
  36. “Nah, you're good. Thought I saw a bug is all.” He looked at the road with pursed lips.
  38. “Quit it with the bugs, bastard. I swear I'll buy one of those and make you eat it.”
  40. “As if you buy anything.”
  42. “Fair point.”
  44. They lapsed back into silence, or as silent as it could be with dad rock loudly playing. Robert tapped his fingers on his lap, trying to burn off the energy from his uneasiness. Why was it happening now? What changed? His eyes snagged onto the passing buildings and their various advertisements, as if they would provide any answers. Unfortunately sales and bargains did little to help his situation. Each sign that passed meant they were a little closer to her home. Somehow it felt like a deadline. As if he had to come to a conclusion before then, or God himself would strike him down on the spot.
  46. “Fuck you.” Abbey said as they drove past her workplace.
  48. “They still can't hear you, you know.”
  50. “It's all about the spirit of things. It's like when you swear at your computer when it's slow.”
  52. “Maybe you should say it to your boss instead.”
  54. “Please, I could scream it and that old guy wouldn't even budge.”
  56. “Lucky. I could curse under my breath and a harpy would be at my neck.”
  58. “Maybe the two should get married, they'd make a good couple.”
  60. “Yeah.” Robert rested his head on the window. “Yeah, they would.”
  61. _
  63. Abbey's apartment was located in a short building with two floors. A rusted staircase along its side provided access to her place. They stepped out of the car and started up the stairs. “You think if this thing gave out, I could skip a day of work?”
  65. “Probably, but also probably not worth it in the longrun.” Robert looked down at the metal steps. The silly thought suddenly became a real threat in his mind, so he snapped back up to Abbey, who's large tail was stuck in his face. They eventually reached the top. Robert only noticed once her patterned swaying tail fell out of his gaze.
  67. “Yeah. You're right. Would be funny for a bit at least.” She unlocked the door and stepped inside. “C'mon in.” Robert followed closely after her and shut the door. He was hit with that familiar feminine fragrance and humidity. The smell must've been a scale wash she used. Her apartment was scarcely decorated. The living room was a small space with a couch and television taking up most of the area. An even smaller kitchen was situated adjacent to it. The only real dividing line between the two spaces was a little bar with stools.
  69. Abbey tossed her sandals off to the side with a few kicks, then plopped down on the couch and instantly started lounging. “Go get me the remote,” the tegu said, shooing with a hand.
  71. “Talk about a lazy lizard,” Robert replied. He took off his own shoes and set them aside, then walked over to grab the remote from the stand the television sat on.
  73. “I just got off shift, and it's my place. I get to be lazy,” she said with a smile. Abbey snuggled further into the couch. “Plus you were already close to the remote.”
  75. “I was only close 'cause you rushed to the couch.” He handed the remote over and sat down next to her. She immediately started flicking through channels. The couch had never felt smaller. The closer proximity muddled his thoughts that much more. He had to say it. “So, uh, Abbey.”
  77. “Yeah?” she said, eyes stuck to the TV. She propped her head up on the arm of the couch.
  79. “I've got something to tell you.” He scratched his head. All this time thinking and he still couldn't find the words. “You know, we've been friends for a long time, right?”
  81. “Duh.” She tapped the remote on her head.
  83. “I've been thinking about some things and—” Robert paused.
  85. “You? Thinking? Funny joke, Robby.” She smiled at her own jab.
  87. “Yeah, so. I'm thinking I need to tell you.” He looked down at his lap, gathered some strength, then looked back at her. “I like you. Like, like-like you. A lot.”
  89. “I would hope so. Kinda weird if you hated me and decided to hang out.” She smacked her lips. “Does Back to the Future have to be on rerun every day?”
  91. “Yeah, that would be weird.” Robert shrugged and slumped back into his seat.
  93. “Wait“—she looked at him quizzically—“you mean like, like-like-like?”
  95. “Well, yeah.”
  97. “Dude that's... that's pretty gay.” She looked away. “Yeah, uh, gay, or something.”
  99. “But—“
  101. “Totally gay. Yup.” Abbey straightened up in her seat. “Gay, Robby.”
  103. Robert gave an awkward smile. “Yeah, you're right. Just forget it.” Might as well keep what he has. Somehow that didn't sting as much as he expected, but couldn't avoid his heart dropping.
  105. “Anyways.” Abbey looked over at his general direction. “You wanna play some games or something?” She didn't wait for his response, quickly getting up and retrieving the controllers, then handing over one of them to Robert. He silently took his controller with a nod. A curious crunch could be heard as he gripped it. He turned it around and found some dried scales stuck to its back.
  107. “You got your shedding all over it, you goof,” Robert said as casually as he could.
  109. “It's better than your disgusting mammal sweat.” She stuck out her tongue and sat down.
  111. “Need to pick a game too.”
  113. “I know! Just give me a second.” Abbey stood up again, then marched over to the television's cabinet and opened up her laptop. She had set up her computer as something of a ghetto console and home entertainment system. Robert fiddled with his controller quietly in the meantime. Embarrassment pushed at the forefront of his mind. Hopefully they would forget about it, and he would get over the whole thing.
  115. Robert's eyes flicked up at Abbey. Her cute tail swished from side to side. He felt that gentle flutter of the heart and shook his head. “Hope you're picking something good,” he said. The banter did little to smother the affection he felt.
  117. “I'm picking something I can kick your ass in.” After a few seconds the television lit up and Abbey scurried back to the couch. “There. Prepare to be sore.” The familiar sound of a fat Italian man yelling a company's name rang through the air.
  119. “Mario Kart? Again?”
  121. “What do you mean again? We haven't played this in a few days.”
  123. “I thought you were sore about me beating you last time.”
  125. “Oh shut up.”
  127. Robert went along with the game, going through the motions. A small sense of annoyance scratched at the back of his head as they went through the game. Picking characters. “Mario? Nobody plays Mario in Mario Kart,” Abbey mocked. Robert rolled his eyes. Picking courses. Then playing the game proper.
  129. The game washed over Robert's senses as he become more and more stuck in his embarrassing confession that lasted all but five seconds. His general reflexes carried him through most of it, paying little mind to what was actually going on. Occasionally he would lapse into consciousness as Abbey yelled swears and cheered when things were going her way. Though she seemed a little subdued. Less animated than she would usually would be. No playful shoves or light punches to the shoulder came his way.
  131. “Rainbow Road is the worst track and if you say otherwise, you're lying,” Abbey said, just as the race ended.
  133. “I thought the city one was the worst?”
  135. “The committee reconvened and decided otherwise.”
  137. “You're only saying that because you lost for"--Robert squinted, reading the scoreboard--"the third time.”
  139. “The NPCs are also bullshit. Fucking gorilla and his barrel car.”
  141. “You wanna play something else then? Something you don't suck at?”
  143. “I don't suck at anything.” She paused and looked blankly ahead at the television. “Did you mean it?”
  145. “What, that you suck?”
  147. “No, idiot. The other thing. The other, other thing.” Her tail curled up onto her lap.
  149. “Oh. Um.” Robert looked down and folded his hands. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.”
  151. “Oh. Sorry.” Abbey scratched at the tip of her tail. “So.” Robert perked up. “You wanna play something else?” Then he dropped back onto the couch.
  153. “Sure.” He nodded. “Sure.”
  155. “Actually, I think... Maybe a movie would be better? You in the mood for anything?”
  157. “Not that I can think of.”
  159. “OK then. Guess I'll just put on something. You wanna go get us some popcorn?” She looked down at her plump tail. “Should still be some in the cupboards.”
  161. Robert walked over to the kitchen and riffled through it for a bag of popcorn. He pulled one free from a box. Last one too, lucky. Ripping the plastic off, he placed it in the microwave and started cooking. He couldn't help but look back at Abbey. She was back on her computer, tail swaying side to side. A twinge of hope struck his heart that just maybe she would consider it. The winding down of popping drew his attention back to the microwave. “You want a bowl?” Robert asked.
  163. “Nah, the bag keeps it warm,” Abbey replied. Her usual peppiness edged back into her voice. “C'mon slowpoke, movie's starting.” The man picked up the bag by its corner and carefully brought the steaming container back to the couch, setting it squarely between them. Abbey placed a hand on it. “Ooh yeah, that's the good stuff.”
  165. “Don't use your tongue again, I want some too. Preferably without lizard spit.”
  167. “You know you like it.” She stuck her fat tongue out. Maybe, he silently added.
  169. Robert turned his attention to the television and awaited whatever silly thing Abbey put on. A familiar tune already hinted at what it was. “Back to the Future? Weren't you just complaining about this?”
  171. “Yeah, but it put me in the mood for it.”
  173. “Haven't we seen it a hundred times anyways?”
  175. “It's still good.” Abbey shrugged and grabbed herself some popcorn. Robert decided to get on that early before she ate all of it, and started digging into the bag himself.
  177. Indeed, they had seen it a hundred times. Robert guessed every line and every joke. “You know the DeLorean is an awful car, right?” he said.
  179. “You wouldn't be saying one if you had one that could fly and time travel.”
  181. “I wouldn't even know what to do with that. I mean look at this guy. He nearly screws himself out of existence. Partially by almost screwing his mom. It's gotta be hard not to royally mess it up.” Their hands grazed one another as they ate, causing that ever so embarrassing thump of the heart. He cleared his throat. “So yeah.”
  183. “I guess, but it'd be cool to go back and look at shit at least.”
  185. The movie continued on, with little chatter between the two. Robert wasn't sure if that was because they has seen it so many times or if he has ruined the mood with his confession. He slightly hoped it was the latter, since that meant it had some impact on Abbey. She sighed. “Were you... really, really serious, Rob? Like, no fucking with me?”
  187. Robert was surprised by the sudden question. He quickly became flustered and stared at the screen, not wanting to get caught by her shiny eyes. “I don't think I've ever fucked around less,” he replied, pinching on the couch's fabric worriedly. “I was completely serious. I... really do like you. Like that.”
  189. “Could you look at me when you say it?”
  191. Robert took a deep breath and turned to face Abigail. Why did she have to look so damned pretty? “I like you, Abbey. I like, like you. More than just, you know... a friend. I guess love?” He struggled to focus on her glossy eyes. Abbey froze, then sighed again.
  193. “Alright,” she replied flatly, her eyes slightly downcast.
  195. They returned to the movie without a word. Robert had nearly all but forgotten they were even watching a movie. The whole world around them was meaningless now. His mind was wholly focused on Abbey and what she was thinking. It could've been anything. She could hate him. Or love him. Or think it was a joke again. Or laugh. Before he knew it, the movie was over and they were back in the living room without a word. It stayed that way for quite some time, that heavy, awkward air settling on them.
  197. A small kiss on his cheek woke Robert out of his daze. “Um, I think I need to go to bed. Or something,” Abbey said quietly. “See you tomorrow? Same time?”
  199. “S—Sure!” Robert reeled himself back. “Back at the pizzeria?”
  201. “No. I think I'll skip on that. Just come here. Or something. Whatever.” She glanced away. “You need me to drive you back home?”
  203. Robert shook his head, not wanting to bother her any more. “I'll just call a car.”
  205. “Right, OK.” Abbey nodded. “You be safe. See ya.” She gave a small wave.
  207. “See ya.” Robert stood up. He felt lighter than air. The man walked over to the front door and gave Abbey a parting wave before slipping out the door. The fresh air was heavenly on his weary body. He practically stumbled down the steps, drunk with worry and happiness. He had to take another deep breath to try and settle his hammering heart. It did little to help as he thought back to Abbey. It was going to be hard getting back home.
  208. _
  210. The next day was rough. Despite being his day off, Robert could only stress about the rest of the day. Nothing could quite take his mind off of Abigail. It only got worse once she flatly called him and told him she would pick him up. He stood near his front door and pushed through it once he heard a familiar worn out horn. He nearly forgot to lock the door and then rushed down the stairs into the parking lot. There it was, that baby blue car. Might as well have been a chariot.
  212. Its doors unlocked and Robert stepped inside. “How's it going?” Abbey asked. She was dressed in a plain red t-shirt and jeans.
  214. “Good.” Actually, far better than good. “How about you?”
  216. “Same old, same old. Nearly had to go into work today, on my damned day off, but I managed to worm out of it.”
  218. “Nice. Good to hear. Probably wouldn't have even gotten a bonus.”
  220. “Maybe I would have, but I don't think it wouldn't have been worth it since I'd rather be doing other shit. Like with you. Or something.” She flicked on the radio and blared her favorite dad rock. Robert settled into his chair with the slightest smile.
  222. Robert managed to keep his eyes on the road this time, but his thoughts still bubbled with Abigail. The world around him was kind of a blur, anchored only by the tegu in the car with him. It took them absolutely no time at all to get to her place, and it was only then that Robert realized they hadn't spoken at all during the trip. They went straight up the stairs and slipped into her apartment.
  224. “So uh, I don't think I've told you this,” Abigail started, “but you look... good in and out of UV. Or something like that.” Robert always thought it was interesting see could see ultraviolet light, but now he was more flattered than interested.
  226. “Thanks. You look great as always,” Robert replied. He was somewhat annoyed he couldn't say something as interesting as her compliment.
  228. Abbey settled in on her couch, Robert quickly took up his regular spot. “So, uh, I was thinking about what you said and... I was kinda worried.” She grabbed her tail. “I like what we got going, you know? I don't wanna do boyfriend-girlfriend things. I like being casual around you and just hanging out, but, yeah I just, I— I like you too, and, you know it was kinda weird thinking about us being a thing. Just weird.” She pulled her tail onto her lap. “So yeah.” Her eyes were focused squarely on the couch. Robert relaxed, relief washing over him.
  230. “We don't have to boyfriend-girlfriend things, I like what we have now too. I just want to be with you more, and I needed to tell you.” He couldn't stop a smile. “I'm glad you feel the same way. I mean, we're already kind of a thing, aren't we? I guess.”
  232. “I guess.” Abbey rubbed the tip of her tail. “I guess we just never said anything.” She leaned forward and embraced Robert, scooting forward to join up with him. He returned the gesture instantly, wrapping his arms around her plump, cool body.”I guess boyfriend-girlfriend things aren't too bad, though.” They pulled their heads back to look at one another before falling into a small kiss. “This is fucking weird.” They kissed again. “But not bad.” Abbey's lips weren't plump or exactly made for kissing, but it was satisfying all the same to give her some attention. Her large tongue carefully pushed forward every time they kissed, accepting more and more attention. Abbey slowly accepted his tongue into her mouth where they started to explore each other's alien forms.
  234. “Hey, you're uh, getting a little too excited there,” Abbey said, pulling back. She sheepishly pointed down at his crotch.
  236. Robert suddenly realized his erection pressing up against his pants. “Sorry, I uh, liked it too much I guess.”
  238. “That's good. Or something.” She paused. “Can I see it?”
  240. Robert's face burned and he gave a shaky nod. He awkwardly unzipped his pants and pulled his underwear down, revealing his cock.
  242. “Man, that's weird,” Abbey said in a near whisper. Her hands hovered agonizingly close to his dick. She pressed forward and wrapped a hand around it, causing Robert to shiver. “Holy shit, that's hot. You've all got this pink head?” He became increasingly more embarrassed by her questions. “Well. Yours is probably the best.” She leaned back into a kiss while feebly jerking him off with a shaky hand. “You wanna see mine too?” she said quietly between kisses.
  244. “I would,” Robert replied simply. He would have added 'love to' but managed to rein back in his excitement. Abbey went the full mile and pulled her pants off, dragging her panties along and discarding them on the ground. Just like her neck, her patterning faded around her thighs into a creamy white. A bright glistening, pink slit broke up the surrounding white. “You're beautiful,” he said in shock. Fuck, how lame.
  246. “What a fucking cheesy thing to say.” The tegu looked up at him. “But thanks.” They lapsed back into kissing, easing back into the couch until Robert was almost entirely on top of her. He soon pulled off his own pants, tossing them into the pile of Abbey's clothes. Amidst their feverish kissing, Robert snaked a hand under her shirt and carefully started groping at her breasts. “Your hands are so damn warm.” She pushed her modest chest into his grasp. “Fuck this.” Abbey flung her shirt off and quickly pulled off Robert's.
  248. Their two naked bodies pushed up against one another, sharing their sensations. Abbey's scales were incredibly smooth, and cool to the touch. He relished her form, trying to take in as much of it as he could as they embraced. His erection settled on her abdomen, causing Abbey to gasp through their kiss. She was so damned cute.
  250. “I love you,” Robert said finally. Despite all they were doing, those words were the most illicit, the most sexual. It was like unveiling a dirty secret. An ultimate thrill.
  252. Abbey took some time to respond. “I love you too,” she replied. Robert became light headed. He almost couldn't believe it. He wanted to hear it again so desperately. Her grip tightened on him and their kissing became feverish. “Go on,” she whispered. “Don't make me say it.” Their movements wound down to a halt. Their heavy breaths filled the room. Robert gulped and looked down. He grabbed his penis and slid it down her folds. Abbey moaned in unison with Robert. He braced himself and plunged into her slowly, eliciting another groan from both of them. She wasn't warm, but her body quickly went into action and squeezed his erection.
  254. “I'm going to move now, OK?” Robert said as calmly as he could. Abbey gave a shaky nod. He slowly pushed forward. In and out. The couch began to creak with their lovemaking. “God,” he said with a shudder. He was drunk with pleasure. Just the thought alone of making love to Abbey aroused him. It was all he needed right now. All he craved. His thrusts increased in speed, edging a little more intensity every time. Abbey gave small moans of encouragement with every thrust.
  256. “Fuck,” she moaned, and quickly lapsed back into those cutesy sounds. She braced her hand on the arm of the couch and pulled Robert in for another embrace. He buried his head into the woman's neck. She did much of the same. Her quickly warming breath sending little jolts of enjoyment across his skin and causing his hair to stand on end.
  258. They continued on sharing moans and drunken kisses. Abbey's entrance slowly became warmer and warmer. Robert could hardly tell, being lost in the ecstasy of the moment, but it added that much more pleasure to their intimacy. “We should have done this before,” Abbey said with a tipsy laugh, ending with another pleasured whine.
  260. “We should have. We really should have.” Robert struggled to say. “Abbey, I"--he grunted--"I'm going to finish.”
  262. Abbey let out a long, satisfied sigh. “Do it. Just finish. Go.” She wrapped her legs around his waist and locked him into a bear hug. Robert increased in speed and prolonged every thrust he could, drinking in her insides. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she droned. Robert gave one last, tired thrust and groaned. “Fuck!” He shot out a rope of hot semen deep into her. Another thrust came from his shaky hips, sending out another rope. “Goddamn.” Abbey's hole twitched and contracted around him, pushing Robert into shooting another load. “Fffuck,” Abbey said as she forced her mouth into his neck.
  264. The two went limp and gasped for air. Robert didn't want to move. Abbey tightened her hug again.
  265. _
  267. “So, see you tomorrow?” Abbey asked jokingly.
  269. “You can't ask me that in the shower,” Robert replied, rubbing scale wash into Abbey.
  271. “I can ask you anything.” She turned around to face him. “Like uh, what do you want for dinner?”
  273. “I dunno, anything sounds good.”
  275. “Whatever it is, you're buying. It took way too long to wash your spunk out,” she said with a laugh.
  277. “Fair enough.” He continued washing her, going down from her neck to her breasts.
  279. “Quite lingering there, perv. Or I'll start grabbing here.” Her hand grasped at his balls.
  281. “Alright, easy, easy.” He chuckled. She retracted her hand.
  283. “You know, I uh, had a good time,” she said softly. “Do you maybe want to stay over, or something?”
  285. Robert stopped his scrubbing. “Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd like that.” They kissed.
  287. Abbey pulled back and wiped off her lips. “Blegh, soap.”
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