Day Live. Die. Repeat. in Equestria (AiE)

>You are Anon.
>And you are currently trapped in a metal cage with the Mane 6, sans Twilight, and Spike.
>Tirek just got done sucking the magic out of Discord.
>That was some nasty shit.
>Asshole had it coming anyway. Even you wouldn't make Fluttershy cry.
>"...just as worthless as he is."
>Sigh
>Might as well get it over with. You hate doing this.
>Without warning you burst out in hysterics, holding your gut in fake glee.
>This attracts the confused stares from everyone nearby, even Tirek who has delayed his exit to look curiously back at you.
>"Anon, what in the hay has gotten into you?"
>You ignore Applejack, grasping the bars with a show of great effort.
"So you were planning on betraying him the whole time? And he didn't see it coming? Discord?! Spirit of chaos and disharmony? That is hilarious!"
>You go into another fit. While Discord glares at you, Tirek has turned back with a look of smug amusement. Seems he was getting a kick out of it too.
>"Hmph, it wasn't that hard. He prides himself as a master of deceit but he's only had to match wits with ponies."
"Oh man, you got to tell me how you did it."
>By this time Tirek has turned back around, crossing his arms while leering down at Discord.
>"He honestly thought that I would share any of my dominion with such a fool." Discord looks away in shame. Tirek's focus changes to you, seemingly forgetting the dejected Discord.
>"He had me in cuffs, without any magic to resist him with. Yet all I had to do was toy with the desires of his true-"
"And where did this happen?"
>He scrunches his brow, a little annoyed at your interruption. "In Canterlot."
"An alley, I'm guessing. At night?"
>"...yesss."
"Any distinguishing features? Buildings, signs, I need details."
>Tirek begins to scowl, growing more annoyed with you but too curious to just ignore your queries.
>"There were some light decorations and sign of a pony with a flag. What does any of that matter?"
"Nothing, that should be enough anyway." Any humor on your face vanishes as you reach inside your pocket. You pull out a standard pistol and turn the safety off.
>The sight of it puts Tirek on guard, his horns charging with magic defensively.
>"What is that, a weapon? I have almost all of the magic in Equestria in my grasp. You cannot hope to-!"
"Oh this isn't for you." You stick your pistol against your temple and pull the trigger.

>Two guardponies stay to either side of you as you make your way to the meeting chamber in Canterlot Castle.
>Once you reach the large set of doors, one of the guards steps out of formation to politely knock.
>You're too impatient for all that nonsense so you push your way into the chamber.
"-I'm afraid I must call in another to stop Tirek...Discord."
"That won't be necessary. I know where Tirek will be."
>The princesses freeze at your sudden intrusion and just stare at you wide-eyed. Celestia is the first to recover.
>"Excuse me?"

>In a dark alley in Canterlot, Tirek is currently absorbing the magic of a unicorn.
>Suddenly he is knocked away by a bolt of magic. With a growl he whirls around toward the origin of the attack, frail arms clenched in anger.
>"Who dares-!"
>"We will not allow you to hurt anymore ponies, Tirek!”
>Standing at the other end alley are you and all the princesses, horns and eyes alight with magic. Tirek's face stretches in alarm.
>"Celestia?! How did you find me?"
"Never get lured into monologuing dude."
>"What?"
>The princesses fire off the spell they have been preparing, launching a multicolored ray that engulfs Tirek. You can hear him howl in pain and anger. When the ray finally dies down, the spot Tirek once stood is empty.
>Knowing these ponies, he was probably just back in Tartarus.
>We'll see how long that'll last.
>The pony Tirek was feeding on shakily gets back on his hooves, cutie mark restored. Most likely that means any other victims were restored too.
>While Cadance goes to check on the recovering unicorn, Celestia, Luna and Twilight give you their gratitude.
>"We cannot thank you enough for your assistance again, Anonymous."
>"Yes, you always seem to know exactly what to do in times of crisis."
>"How did you even know where Tirek would be, Anon? Not even Celestia could sense him"
"I took a shower in scorching hot alien blood."
>"What?”
"Magic."
>"Oh."