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- Ms. Holtzer
- Prologue
- >Be you, a teenage shithead.
- >Do teenage shithead things, like skateboarding, pranks, and eating yogurt from a tube.
- >Earn a reputation as the town asshats with your human buddy Todd
- >No one escapes your crudely drawn penises and confetti bombs.
- >No one but Ms. Heltzer.
- >Not many has seen her, yet none have actually interacted with her outside of a terrifying one second of eye contact.
- >Feeling bold one day, you and Todd begin scheming
- >You swooce onto her lawn and spray paint a smiling don't across the front lawn and plant confetti bombs in front of the front door. After chucking a few water balloons at her house to drive the hag outside, trigger the bomb, and leave her with a dong to attend to.
- >Todd coined the name "Dong Dong Ditch."
- >It's late evening and the time has come
- >And so have I (and Todd)
- >The bomb has been planted and the bright orange penis has been planted, although it didn't shine as well due to her lawn being patchy and overgrown.
- >She doesn't go out much.
- >Stationed on the sidewalk, you bozos begin throwing balloons from a bucket.
- >The bucket eventually empties with no response from the witch.
- >The sun would be setting soon, so you get ready to pack your shit
- >Then from the left walkway of the house, a figure is sprinting towards you
- >Ohhellnaw.gif
- >You turn to face Todd
- >He's booking it down the street like a Kenyan cheetah on cocane running from a white human police officer
- >You barely lift your feet off the ground before you're tackled like a quarterback
- >ohshitohshitohshit
- >Your arms are being held down, your legs crushed under hers
- >You glance left, Todd "the Coward" is gone
- >If you make it out alive, you were going to kick his ass.
- >Looking back up, you see her face
- >Between her shadow and the setting sun, you couldn't see much details
- >She was a canine, looking predatory as fuck (especially compared to poodles, a species of pussies)
- >But her face had unusual ridges, complemented by a death glare that seemed to shine despite the low light
- >You squirm but she's stronger than you will ever be
- >Screaming won't help, you're the town asshat and she's too scary for even the police
- >She learns in closer, and begins to speak in an undeniably feminine but rough, somewhat masculine voice
- >"You and your bitch of a friend will come back here tomorrow morning and clean this mess. If you don't, you will regret it."
- >She relieves her weight on you, and you book it down the street like a rhino on heroin running from a white human police officer.
- >Heltzer is fucking terrifying, and she has her sights on you and Todd
- >You're gonna kick his ass
- Chapter 1: Rub the Penis
- >Mischief is how you were spending your teenage years.
- >You and Todd aren't in jail yet, so why stop?
- >Heltzer, for one
- >You had to see her today with Todd
- >After literally kicking your bitch of a friend's ass for ditching you like that, you explain the situation.
- >"No Todd, we can't jump off the bridge for a 'quick death.'"
- >Slowly biking your way to the South side of town, you notice how the roads and sidewalks get more cracked, illuminated by the morning light.
- >You're forced to have Todd in tow on the back due to his bike shattering after a half assed BMX attempt.
- >A few twists and turns later you arrive at Heltzer's, a slightly run down small house that showed some evidence of repairs by the awkwardly place boards on next to the porch.
- >Your penis, rather the painted one, was proudly displayed across the lawn.
- >Both of you would have laughed in pride, but Heltzer was on the porch.
- >Doing... pushups?
- >Trying to ignore the fact that Tod was shivering and you wanting to cry, you ring your bike bell.
- >Shit, now she's walking towards you.
- >Todd is now a Hitachi Magic Wand.
- >She's a Doberman, a mean looking one.
- >A noticable scar seems to run from her left cheek down behind her left shoulder on her neck, back up the shoulder and crossing her right breast diagonally.
- >Another "X" shaped scar on the left side of her abdomen, with some more horizontal cuts along her legs.
- >As she got closer, you realize that she's ripped. She probably has a bigger dick than you.
- >All this was barely hidden, as she wore a black sports bra and panties
- >She looks down on the both of you next to your bike.
- >Your head is a little lower than her chest hieght while sitting on the bike.
- >You would have considered this to be a lucky situation if a mangled, angry, Heltzer wasn't looking down on you.
- >That same voice from last night churns again.
- >"You two dipshits are going to scrub my lawn clean. There's soap and water on the porch, a hose in the garage and a pump on the right side. get off your asses and move."
- >Wait. We're gonna scrub a lawn?
- >The backseat pussy was now seismic.
- >It was bad enough that she could probably smell fear, now she's seeing it personified as two clowns on a bike.
- >For your own hide, you march your way to your tools.
- >Up the steps you notice a pair of buckets filled with soapy water and sponges.
- >Picking up a set, you turn to hand a set to your friend, only to notice that he's not there.
- >He's still on the fucking bike, Heltzer chewing him out for being a wimp.
- >Then the absolute madman does the unthinkable.
- >He shoves her, hops in the front seat, and peddles away.
- >Heltzer gruffly barks and gives chase.
- >Damn, this bitch can run.
- >She's on the bikes tail, most likely yelling at how she'll kill Todd.
- >You hear him screech like the baby he is, even from down the street.
- >Ms.Heltzer can run, but the coward can peddle faster.
- >By the sheer force of pussy power alone, he breaks free.
- >The beast begins jog back, and you curse yourself realizing you could have escaped during his fit of fear.
- >Might as well begin the job, alone.
- >Cursing Todd and yourself, you begin rubbing the penis starting from the head.
- >The penis on the lawn, of course.
- Chapter 2: Shitty Day, Shitty Lawn
- >This lawn looked like shit.
- >At least the dick looked less noticeable.
- >If you squint, you would be able to see the faint orange nutsack. Look harder and you would see what were once proud pubes, now fading away due to a determined hose and soap.
- >But to a normal eye, the drowned greenery, mud and upturned dirt became more of an eyesore than the dilapidated house it belonged to.
- >Hopefully some rain will finish your job.
- >You now had to check in with that freak show. If you didn't, she threatened you with a vague but horrifying punishment.
- >There are things that you just don't fuck with, Heltzer was now one of them.
- >She was in the open garage, with only the sound of heavy, rapid breathing exiting from that den.
- >Is she giving birth to more hellspawn? Unlikely. But possible.
- >Observing the open garage you are greeted by several trays of cigarettes and empty beer bottles, some clothing presumably for exercise littered on the floor.
- >What stuck out the most was that the garage was now converted to a gym. A smelly one.
- >You could smell musk, blood, and tears. All from her.
- >In the center she was going to town on a big. Thick. Black. Punching bag.
- >Those things were made to be abused, but even the sack of sand wanted a break from the onslaught.
- >Hopefully it was sand, and not a sack of babies or something.
- >"H-Hey Scarface, I finished your lawn. It still looks like shit though. Y'know, like in the first place."
- >That was kinda cold, but she doesn't own you.
- >She calms her arms and hugs the bag to a standstill.
- >Grabbing a nearby water bottle from a the table filled with beer and cigarettes, she poured it on her head,
- >This would have been hot if it weren't for those cuts.
- >But those teenage hormones are persistent.
- >She bumps you aside and steps outside to admire your handiwork.
- >Her voice was a lot less feral, but still gruff
- >"You're right. This lawn does look like shit. Come back tomorrow morning."
- >Bitch what. No way you're wasting this summer bending your back over some diseased hag.
- >You protest, but she rejects your pleas.
- >You know what? Fuck her.
- >You throw a punch at her face.
- >?
- >She didn't even really flinch. She took it like a tank.
- >She chuckled.
- >"Wow. That sucked."
- >Your blood turns cold as your ego drops like a rock.
- >"Hit me again! I love it!"
- >She doesn't falter at your blows. She laughed a few times.
- >"Alright my turn..."
- >Aw fuck.
- >You pull a 180 turn to run, but she grabs you.
- >Holtzer has you in a headlock.
- >It's hard to breathe, but you still can can grasp for air.
- >She then whispers in your ear, her voice a bit more graceful and feminine, but keeping that trademark gruffness.
- >"Today you will go home, take a shower, eat your fucking dinner, go to bed, and just pray that you have enough energy for what we have in store for tomorrow."
- >"And you fucking better not be staying up all night jacking off all night 'cuz can smell everything."
- >You are relieved of the hold and you bolt off like a giraffe on meth running away from a white human police officer.
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