<squibbles> ...a 14 year old on another server just asked me to cyber with him, thinking that I'm a chick
<squibbles> >_>
<Inspired> cyber?
<squibbles> as in...have cyber-sex. .___.
<Inspired> Oh.  They still do that?
<RandomDigits> O.o
<squibbles> not with me
<squibbles> ._.
<Aidiera> You should have given him some to freak him out.
<Inspired> Don't discount that he may be gay
<Aidiera> Oh, good point.
<@rennaT> I take off my robe and wizard hat.
<Inspired> Hahahaha tanner
<Aidiera> I take out a tray of nachos and insert my flaccid penis into the warm gooey nacho cheese.
<squibbles> he wanted it on scype
<squibbles> *skype
* Vyacheslav (ILoveYanni@scave-62F435DE.nycmny.fios.verizon.net) Quit (Quit: )
<Aidiera> Oh, yeah, don't do that.
<squibbles> and I cannot be fucked getting out my dress
<squibbles> also, my hair is shorter now
<squibbles> so I can't tie it up to look like a chick from behind
<squibbles> ...or honestly, the front, when it's tied back >_>
<Inspired> Make the camera fuzzy
<squibbles> "I'm getting all steamy"
<squibbles> <_<
<Inspired> But, before that.  How did you even get onto that topic?
<squibbles> he just randomly asked
<squibbles> <Mattttttttttt> we should
<squibbles> <Mattttttttttt> cyber on skype
<squibbles> that was it
<squibbles> :/
<Inspired> Maybe he wants to cyberzone
<squibbles> <@squibbles> matt, take a guess quickly
<squibbles> <@squibbles> how large do you think my breasts are?
<squibbles> <Mattttttttttt> um
<squibbles> <Mattttttttttt> C size
<squibbles> <_<
<@rennaT> Ha!
<@rennaT> squibbles is gonna break his first heart.
<Inspired> Guilt him
<squibbles> pfft, not my first
<squibbles> :/
* Blackson (matt@EA24A2BA.419EFC2.D37A83C1.IP) has joined #n
<Sunset> O_o
* Blackson is now known as Festive_Blackson
<Sunset> what am I reading
* Bio (Icumdumed@scave-593984B.neo.res.rr.com) has joined #n
<Inspired> Man, it would be funny if Sunset was this Matt guy
<Inspired> But Sunset is 6
<Sunset> c:
<Inspired> 8 years too young
<Sunset> I'm actually 14
<squibbles> aha
<Inspired> Hey squibbles,
<Inspired> Wanna cyber?
<squibbles> :/
<squibbles> no
<squibbles> actually
<squibbles> maybe
<squibbles> but not now
<squibbles> I'm too tired
<squibbles> MORE COFFEE
<Inspired> We don't have to do it on skype
<Inspired> We could just do it on IRC
<squibbles> hmmm
<squibbles> Inspired
<squibbles> I have returned
<Inspired> Okay
<squibbles> and I have to say, I find your offer...acceptable

<Inspired> Inspired walks into the dimly lit bedroom and takes a seat on the bed.
<Inspired> The room is quiet
<BFG10K> Dude you'll be outside inward when I'm through with you.
<Inspired> Inspired waits for his companion.
<squibbles> I step out of the shower and begin to dry myself
<Snuggletummy> Dude you'll be inside outward when I'm through with you.
<squibbles> little did Inspired know, his companion was already there
* BFG10K pulls Inspired's intestines out through his middle eye socket
<Snuggletummy> Oh, Bio, want to see my amazing armor in Spiral Knights?
<Snuggletummy> Also, I can make you a magic hood if you give me 2 Frayed Cloths
<Inspired> I hear a door slowly close
<BFG10K> Dude fuck that Snuggletummy, you'll be leftside south when I'm done with you.
<Inspired> I shuffle uncertain
<BFG10K> Oh, what?
* BFG10K sits on bed with Inspired
<Snuggletummy> Dude fucj that Biom you'll be rightside north when I'm done with you.
* Inspired stabs BFG10K in throat and stows under bed.
* Snuggletummy sits on bed with Bio and Inspired
* Aidiera records
<BFG10K> Dude enough of that Biome crap you'll be eastside in when we're done.
<squibbles> as I walk out of the bathroom I am suprised to see Inspired...and Bio...AND snugs sitting on the bed waiting for me
<Snuggletummy> Dude, enough of that Biome crap, you'll be westsidde when we're done.
<squibbles> eager for what I knew came next, my nipples grew as hard as cement
<smartalco> and as I return to reading this I am not surprised to see a conversation that makes absolutely no sense
<Inspired> I see a veluptuos woman walking down the hallway
<BFG10K> Inspired, it's dangerous to go alone, take this condom
<Snuggletummy> Inspired, it's dangerous to go alone, take this dildo.
<Inspired> Inspired gains the power of protection!
<BFG10K> voluptuous*
<Snuggletummy> The dildo is a sword
<Snuggletummy> The condom, a shield.
<squibbles> *veloceraptor
<Inspired> Inspired gains the power of strength!
<Snuggletummy> Terminal Velocity*
<BFG10K> Terminal shift in velocity*
<squibbles> aha, a veloceraptor woman. Yes.
<squibbles> that'd make the best cyber-sex ever
<Inspired> Stowing the condom and dildo in the bedside draw I lie back on the rather comfy bed.
<Inspired> Looking up at the glowing lamp above my head
<BFG10K> I always wanted a button that makes my bed catch on fire.
<Inspired> Wondering, "Why is there a gas-lamp in such a modern house?"
<BFG10K> doDONGo dislikes lube
<Inspired> Impatient I begin to bounce around on the bed
<squibbles> walking fully into the bedroom, I notice that Inspired is paying more attention to the light than me. I shout "Oi", and gesture towards my fully naked body, somewhat frustrated at how much I have to force Inspired to retain attention.
<BFG10K> Pull the Master dildriver out of the pedestal.
<Inspired> Stunned, my vision is captured by a beautiful woman
<Snuggletummy> The Legend of Squibbles: A link to the Ass.
<BFG10K> Hehe.
<squibbles> only if you play your cards right ;D
<Inspired> She is standing there, water glistening on her skin
<squibbles> mmmm
<Inspired> She whips her hair
<Inspired> Spraying me with tiny droplets
<BFG10K> Fuck water, I have sulfuric acid on my body. ;-;
<squibbles> I whip my hair
* squibbles nods
<Inspired> Back and forth
<BFG10K> I whip my whip.
<squibbles> yeaaaaahhhhh
<squibbles> I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORWARDS I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORWARDS I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORWARDS I WHIP MY HAIR BACK AND FORWARDS
<Inspired> I pat the bedspread next to me indicating that she take a seat
<Sunset> NO
<Sunset> DON'T
<Sunset> THAT SONG IS TERRIBL
<Sunset> E
<Sunset> terrible*
<Snuggletummy> As I stare into her warm face, I begin to notice a particular oddity in my pants. It seems my garden snake came down with something fierce last night; Before I can stop what happened next, it vomits all over the sweet girl.
<squibbles> I turn off the radio, silencing the obnoxious music, and lie down on the bed beside Inspired
<BFG10K> I spray Sulfuric acid bye whipping my hair.
<Inspired> I run my fingers through her hair, so smooth
<Snuggletummy> Swiftly, she sucks my cock...I'm confused. Her sweet sucking motion is causing my cock to feel so..so moist.
<Inspired> "I bet she uses Palmolive Ambi-pure"
<squibbles> I stick my hands down the front of his pants - cannot be fucked with foreplay
* OutrightOJ (OutrightOJ@scave-CBDBE4AD.dsl.pipex.com) Quit (Quit: )
<Snuggletummy> Her saliva is dripping onto the ground...
<Sunset> o_o
<Inspired> I shuffle uncomfortably, removing her hand from my pants.
<Snuggletummy> Suddenly, in a burst of motion, I blow my load further into her mouth.
<Inspired> "Let's take it slow"
<BFG10K> My heart isn't the only muscle capable of pressurizing liquid enough to shoot it 30 feet.
<Snuggletummy> Slowly, she backs off...choking on my cockjuices.
<Snuggletummy> She looks into my eyes and only says two words "TAKE ME!"
<squibbles> I pull out rope, look at Inspired mischeiviously, and quickly, before he realises what is going on, tie him to the bed. He cannot move
<Inspired> I struggle helplessly
<squibbles> I rip of his pants revealing a long erect member
<squibbles> I fart
<squibbles> I continue, by removing his shirt
<Sunset> and fart again
<Sunset> ?
<squibbles> no, just once
<squibbles> :S
* Aidiera is now known as Away|Diera
<Inspired> My large breasts now bounce freely
<squibbles> wait what?
<Inspired> I whisper in her ear
<Inspired> "You weren't expecting that"
<Inspired> I grin devilishly
<BFG10K> I rip your chest skin, revealing a stomach.
<squibbles> shocked at this revelation, I take Inspired's phone and wallet and leave the room, leaving him tied up on the bed, fully naked, awaiting room service to find him and release him
<squibbles> I dress and leave the building
<Inspired> I stretch my foot out to the bedside table
* Away|Diera is now known as Aidiera
<squibbles> I get in my car and drive to a thrift store, selling all his goods and taking the cash
<Inspired> Using my littlest toe I dial room service
<Aidiera> Who wants to help me with something?
<smartalco> you guys, are fucking ridiculous
<squibbles> I return to the motel
<Aidiera> Don't make me mute you both.
<squibbles> realising that he still may escape, I light the building on fire
* Aidiera (Aidiera@scave-2A213621.phnx.qwest.net) Quit (Quit: Aww fudgenuts.)
<Sunset> COME ON BABY LIGHT MY FIAH
<Sunset> I sing
<Inspired> A latino lady dressed in a white smock walks in and is surprised by my nakedness
<Snuggletummy> I slowly wrap my cock around her neck and she starts gagging. What she doesn't realize is that I am a hired Hitman. I was contracted by her late husband before she killed him via poisoning. Slowly, as her face starts to turn blue, her eyes begin to fill with blood. I tighten my cock's hold and eventually she suffocates.
* Aidiera (Aidiera@scave-2A213621.phnx.qwest.net) has joined #n
<smartalco> I'm burnin', I'm burnin', I'm burnin' for you.
<BFG10K> I use bungee cords to make a contraption that slowly squeezes inspired's dick until it loses blood flow and dies.
<Inspired> The smell of smoke fills our nostrils as she begins to untie me
<squibbles> the latino lady and Inspired are engulfed in the fire
<Sunset> mm, good song smartalco.
<Snuggletummy> I hate this job, but in this dany and age, it's all I can do for a decent buck.
<Sunset> you play forgiveness, watch it now, here he comes!
<Aidiera> Who has iTunes here?
<squibbles> from the outside I hear nought but the satisfying screams of burning immigrants
<Sunset> me.
<@CF> I do
<Aidiera> And will help me?
<Sunset> me.
<Inspired> Free I run to the bedside draw ripping open the condom wrapper
<Snuggletummy> I clean up the mess and leave a rose on her mangled corpse.
<Inspired> I stretch the condom over my head
<Snuggletummy> My work here is done.
<@CF> #itunes , too much noise here
<Sunset> O_O
* BFG10K (Icumdumed@scave-593984B.neo.res.rr.com) Quit (Client exited)
<squibbles> I wait
<squibbles> enjoying the smell of searing flesh
<Inspired> Then realising that I can not breath while wearing this protection I fall over unconscious
* Bio (Icumdumed@scave-593984B.neo.res.rr.com) has joined #n
<Inspired> The last thing I see before my eyes finally close is squibbles darting eyes
* Bio is now known as BFG10K
<Inspired> Watching the destruction
<Inspired> The flames surround my body
<Inspired> The latino lady screams in horror
<Inspired> I am dead.
<squibbles> as the fire begins to die down, I grab the katana that I bought using Inspired's money, walk in, and just to be sure, sever his head
<squibbles> I take his mangled corpse, and put it in the passenger seat of my car
<squibbles> I then drive to the lake and dump the body, and his now empty wallet
<squibbles> I drive home and fap
<squibbles> ...
<Snuggletummy> I hear screams in the next room over in the apartment. I slowly walk into the hallway and close in onto the door. As the screams get louder, I hear farting and laughter as well. Quickly, I open the door and pull out my gun.
<squibbles> ok, I remember why I don't cyber anymore
<Inspired> Suddenly I jolt awake, my flesh is burnt to a crisp and my head partially severed.
<squibbles> Inspired, you can't do that
<Sunset> this shit is weird
<Sunset> O___________________________________________________________O