Deadmeat Chronicles: Graveyard Smarty

>You are a maroon unicorn fluffy with a light green mane.
>And it is sippy time.
>You have your herd out among the rocks standing ready.
>The yellow ball is in the right place in the sky.
>”Babbeh am nex dadeh! Get bestest sippies!”
>You don’t feel like correcting the young fluffy right now.
>You have to concentrate and wait for the magic.
>Momma fluffy is waddling near a stone vase humming happily stopping every few steps to rub her belly.
>Haze is rolling on his back giggling while Next Special Friend is jumping around him.
>Pookie is next to Bruce talking to him as Bruce stares across the rock field.
>Soon the magic happens.
>Little black discs come from the ground and start to spurt water.
>They start spinning in a lazy circle flinging the clear cool liquid around.
>You shout to your herd, “Fwuffies haf sippies!”
>You run to a stream of water slowly spinning around the sprinkler.
>You walk under it letting your mouth fill up and swallow wonder gulps of the refreshing liquid.
>”Nee sippies too daddeh! Wet babeh haf sippies!”
>You step aside letting the young fluffy truddle quickly under the water letting water splash its face.
>You look around seeing your herd running around and giggling under the spray of liquid.
>Momma fluffy’a vase fills up letting her lap the water from it.
>You smile thinking of how you are a good smarty letting your herd drink so-
*SNIFF*
>You leap forward from a nose hitting your rump.
>You spin around and shake your hoof angrily at Haze, “Yoo nuu sniff-“
*SNIFF*
>You leap forward again as another nose hits your rump.
>You spin around to see Next Special Friend standing there wager her tail and wiggling her nose.
>She trots over to Haze who is now on his back giggling happily, “Yoo am wight! Smawty am haf pwetty smeww!”
>You stare with your mouth open a moment.
>A splash of water traversing your head snaps you back into yourself.
>You stomp looking between Haze and Next Special Friend.
>You finally shake your hoof at Haze, “Yoo nuu be stwange fwuffy!”
>You start to shake your hoof at Next Special Friend but then shake it at Haze again, “An’ yoo nuu make udder fwuffy stwange!”
>Haze stands and opens his mouth letting a spray of water fill it while Next Special Friend hugs him.
>You snort at them and walk over to Momma Fluffy.
>She is snapping at any fluffy that tried to drink from her vase.
>One young Pegasus female seems distressed, “Bu’ momma, fwuffy wan sippies…”
>Momma fluffy looks at her, “Yoo am big fwuffy! Babbeh in mommeh tummy! Go way!”
>You stand over the momma fluffy, “Yoo haf wots wa wa. Wet udder fwuffy haf sippies.”
>She snaps her head around and sees you.
>Her face softens, “Mommeh nee wa was fo gud babbeh in mommeh bewwy!”
>”Wet mommeh haf wots sippies gif smawty bestest feews!”
>She beams a smile at you.
>You give her a hug, “Yoo haf wots wah wah. Shawe wif gud fwuffies.”
>She looks like she wants to argue for a moment then softens again, “Otay! Shawe wif gud fwuffies cause smawty say so.”
>You look at the young female Pegasus, “Yoo am haf sippies noa.”
>The young fluffy’s face lights up, “Tank yoo daddeh!”
>You huff, “Deadmeat nuu yoo daddeh!”
>She truddles next to momma fluffy and starts to lap some of the water from the vase, “Wub mommeh *lap*lap*lap*”
>”Yoo big fwuffy! Nuu yoo mommeh!”
*lap*lap*lap*
>Soon the magic discs go back into the ground.
>You look over your herd and smile.
>They have all had their fill and are playing.
>You feel like a good smarty.
>You wonder around and find Bruce, “Yoo come wif Deadmeat. Fin nummies fo hewd.”
>He smiles, “Otay!”
>He grabs up a few owchie friends and you start to walk.
>You wonder for a bit looking into vases and beside graves.
>No flowers have been put out yet.
>It is still early yet and you have plenty of nummies at your hidey hole so you are not worried.
>You come across a raised casket and climb up on it.
>You then get on top of the tomb stone and survey the rock yard.
>It is huge.
>You are not sure you could ever explore the whole place in one day.
>You see thousands of grave sites with mausoleums scattered about.
>Raised caskets are scattered all about.
>You see several fluffies running about in between the stones laughing and playing.
>You climb down and continue your trek.
>You walk around a tomb stone and see a large group of fluffies congregated around a casket with one fluffy on top of it.
>The fluffy on top is a unicorn fluffy he is light green with a yellow mane and purple eyes.
>You recognize him from when you had to get nummies.
>He is staring down at the fluffies below him.
>”Smawty am bestest smawty!”
>”Yoo wisten smawty and be in smawty hewd!”
>Some of the fluffies below him start to stomp, “Nuu! Smawty am bestest! Yoo wie!”
>”Dis am smawty wand! Yoo go way!”
>You start to walk past them when the smarty on top of the casket yells at you, “Yoo am bad fwuffy! Yoo twy gif bestest smawty owies!”
>You give him a raspberry which infuriates him more.
>He glares at you, “Nnnnn! NNNNNN! YOO AM BAD FWUFFY!”
>The other fluffies turn and see you.
>Some yell out, “Munsta!”
>Two truddle toward you puffing their cheeks.
>”Dis am smawty wand!”, “Go way! Smawty teww hewd gif yoo owies!”
>You give them a raspberry, “Deadmeat go whewe Deadmeat wan.”
>The two smarties stomp at you, “Yoo am bad fwuffy!”, “Gif dat meanie fwuffy owwies!”
>The smarty on the casket gloats as he stares down at the fluffies charging you, “Tee hee hee!”
>You sneer at the charging fluffies and point, “Gif dem Fwuffies owwies!”
>Bruce laughs adorably, “Mwhahaha! Dat how smawty am be smawty! Gif owwies!”
>You and your owchie friends charge forth.
>Bruce gets to one smarty friend and starts to bite his ear.
>The smarty immediately starts to scream trying to back away from your main owchie friend.
>You stomp up to the other one and boop him hard on the side of his face.
>He spins and falls rolling away from you.
>You other owchie friends wade into the charging fluffies booping and swatting at them.
>You turn and buck another fluffy in the side sending him flying.
>The smarty on the casket starts stomping angrily, “NUU! NUU! NUU! Gif dat bad fwuffy owwies!”
>Fluffies start to jump off the side of the casket and truddle your way.
>You jump and stomp them puffing your cheeks while making sparklies come from your horn, “Go way!”
>A few stop looking at you, “Ahhh! Munsta!”
>On makes scaredy poopies while other run away.
>When the other get close to you, you boop the closest one on the nose.
>All the fluffies charging you stop when you do that.
>The booped fluffy stumbles back and starts to rub his nose, “Why yoo gif sowwies gud fwuffy….”
>Yoo… yoo..*sniff*… yoo am meanie! Wahhhhhhh!”
>His friends truddle to him and start giving him huggies.
>”Pwease nuu cwy fwen…”
>You stomp at them, “Yoo twy gif Deadmeat owwies! Yoo dum dum fwuffies am de bad fwuffies!”
>They all stare at you with tears in their eyes, “Now yoo say meanie tings…. Yoo am BIG MEANIE!”
>”BWAHHHHHH!”
>They all burst out sobbing and hugging each other.
>You stomp in frustration, “Deadmeat nuu meanie!”
>You look back at your other fluffies.
>Bruce is biting the nose of the smarty.
>Bruce is smiling while the smarty squeals.
>Your other owchie friends are beating the other fluffies making them scatter.
>The other smarty you hit is starting to get back up.
>You walk over to him just as he shakes his head and stomps.
>”Nuu fwuffy gi fsmawty owwies! Gif yoo-“
>You turn around and buck the smarty in the side of his head sending him flying again.
>”NnnnNNnNn! Gif dat bad fwuffy owwies! GIF OWWIES NOA!”
>You look up at the smarty on the casket.
>He is shaking his hoof angrily at you.
>You point at him, “Dis am yoo fault!”
>”Yoo make fwuffies twy gif Deadmeat owwies!”
>You start to run to the casket.
>The smarty stomps, “Gif yoo owwies and sowwy poopies!”
>You get close to the casket and start to jump up on it.
>The smarty starts to try and stomp your hooves as you try to pull yourself up.
>You growl cutely and swipe your horn at him.
>He jumps back giving you a chance to get on the casket.
>You stomp and puff your cheeks, “Yoo am bad fwuffy!”
>You lower your horn and charge as he puffs his cheeks making sparklies.
>You suddenly feel something wet hit your face and you stagger falling face first on the cold marble.
>You raise your head shaking off the liquid as you see the other smarty rising up into the air.
>”Hold on guys! No fighting!”
>You stand up and focus.
>You see the older priest holding the smarty in one arm and carrying a spray bottle in the other.
>He is leaning over squirting the remaining fighting fluffies.
>Helper comes truddling up in the middle of all the fluffies, “De Biggest Daddeh nuu wike fwuffy gif sowwies udder fwuffy!”
>He stands in the middle of and starts to look around, “Pwease nuu gif sowies gud fwuffy! Nee pway and gif huggies!”
>”Dat am wha Biggest Daddeh wan!”
>Helper then gets on his haunches and starts to pray.
>The smarty being held by the priest looks around at the other fluffies then at you.
>He points at you and starts to yell, “Yoo am bad fwuffy!”
>He then looks at the other fluffies, “Dis am why smawty nee be biggest smawty of wand!”
>”Hoomin wike smawty de bestest!”
>You stomp, “Yoo get down hewe! Deadmeat gif yoo biggest owwies!”
>The priest brings up the spray bottle and squirts at you.
>You are expecting it this time and dodge around.
>He gives up after a few squirts and you give him a raspberry.
>The priest closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, “Even the saints were tempted…”
>After a bit he looks down at you, “Do you not understand that violence is not the answer little one?”
>You get a puzzled look on your face, “Deadmeat nuu say gif viewence. Deadmeat say gif owwies!”
>”WEEEEEE! De smawty say gif owwies!”
>You look over and see Haze jump out from behind a tombstone and come skipping toward the fluffies.
>The priest gets and exasperated look on his face and walks toward haze with the squirt bottle in hand.
>He bends over and squirts the giggling skipping fluffy.
>Haze stops for a second and looks up smiling, “Tank yoo, bu’ Haze am alweady haf sippies!”
>He trots toward Bruce, “Tee hehee! Yoo twy am be smawty! Haze gif owwies noa!”
>Bruce stomps at Haze, “Bwoose nuu twy be smawty! Yoo twy be bad fwuffy!”
>Helper truddles between them, “Nuu, nuu gif owwies! De Biggest Daddeh say aww fwuffy am get awong!”
>The priest smiles, “That is right Helper! All should turn the other cheek.”
>You look up confused, “Wha am cheek?”
>He pats the side of his face, “This part is your cheek. You should turn it to avoid violence.”
>He smiles warmly at you as you take in what he says.
>You think for a bit then your eyes light up, “Deadmeat know wha two wegged munsta mean!”
>You look over the side of the casket and find the smarty you booped, “Deadmeat tuwn dat dum dum’s cheekie and make dat fwuffy nuu gif Deadmeat owwies!”
>The smarty falls to the ground shaking, “Bad fwuffy tuwn smawty’s cheekie! Nuuu!”
>The priest looks about, “No that’s not…”
>He just stops and shakes his head, “Ok guys, I know what we all need.”
>”You guys need some spaghetti and to talk out your differences so you don’t fight anymore.”
>The area erupts in a screech, “SKETTIES!!!”
>The fluffies start to clamber around the priests feet, “Am gud fwuffy!”, “Sketties pwease!”, “Fwuffy wub daddeh!”
>You start to back up, “Yoo twy twick Deadmeat! Nuu wan yoo twicks!”
>Helper starts to preach to the fluffies, “De biggest Daddeh wub aww fwuffy bu’ am weawwy wub gud fwuffy.”
>”De biggest Daddeh hewp and wook afteh gud fwuffy dat do wha Biggest Daddeh wan.”
>The pries sets the smarty he picked up down on a casket away from you, “Ok guys, no fighting.”
>”Let’s all enjoy spaghetti together.”
>Helper looks to the sky, “Hawewooya! De Biggest Daddeh make fwuffy gud fwuffy!”
>You turn your head, “Deadmeat fwuffy goo back hewd awea! Nuu faww fo munsta twicks!”
>Bruce and Haze break their stare down and look at you.
>Bruce says, “Yoo wan weave sketties…?”
>Haze looks triumphant at Bruce, “Yoo am bad fwuffy! Nuu wan do wha smawty say!”
>Bruce looks back and puffs his cheeks, “Nuu! Bwoose am gud fwuffy!”
>Bruce starts to nip the tails of the owchie friends, “Smawty say weave!”
>The priest pours a can of speghetti in front of the smarty on the casket.
>You are running away as he pours out more in front of every fluffy there.
>He picks up Helper who is munching happily from a pile of speghatti, “Sorry Helper, this is for these fluffies to have fellowship.”
>Helper tries to wiggle back to the noodles, “Bu’ Hewpeh wan fewwowship too daddeh… Hewpeh wan sketties!”
>”Its ok, I have plenty more for you.”
>The priest looks around, “Ok you guys, learn how to get along.”
>They hungrily slurp and nom on the marinara goodness as the man continues to talk.
>”Think about what we said today.”
>”All fluffies should get along.”
>The priest starts to walk away, “Let’s find that one smarty and see if we can teach him to be nice to other fluffies.”
>Helper gets happy again, “Yay! Hewpeh am teww dem abou’ de bestest ting fo fwuffy!”
>The priest laughs as he walks on, “That’s right, we must spread the good word.”
>They leave the fluffies who quickly finish their piles of speghatti.
>When they are finished the smarty on top of the casket starts to speak.
>”Yoo dum dums hewe de nice hoomin!”
>”De Biggest Daddeh hewp gud fwuffy and de fwuffy dat dey am hewp am smawty!”
>He looks around as the other smarties start to lower their heads.
>”Smawty am biggest smawty!”
>”Fwuffy wan be bad an nuu wisten smawty!”
>He stares down at the fearful fluffies, “Den smawty tuwn yoo cheekies!”