In Which LightRaider Can't Into Urine Samples

Dec 12th, 2012
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  1. «LightRaider» *I set nervously in the room, waiting for the doctor*
  2. «LightRaider» "D...Doc? I need some help!"
  3. «HTBK» *Presently, the doctor steps into the room, and looks at you curiously.*
  4. «HTBK» "...Okay?"
  5. «LightRaider» "I woke up this morning, and noticed my.. y'know, junk, was gone"
  6. «HTBK» "...Come again?"
  7. «LightRaider» "MY penis disappeared and now i have a vagina.
  8. «HTBK» "..."
  9. «LightRaider» "And my hair changed to this insane color"
  10. «HTBK» "Ma'am, are you under the influence?"
  11. «LightRaider» *I begin to shout* "For the last time, IM A GUY!
  12. «HTBK» *The doctor deadpans. It looks a bit like this:
  13. «HTBK» -__-
  14. «HTBK» "Are you under the influence *sir*?"
  15. «LightRaider» "I'm not fucking with you, I swear!"
  16. «LightRaider» "And i'm not drunk, or stoned, or whatever!"
  17. «HTBK» "..."
  18. «HTBK» *He hands you a plastic cup.*
  19. «HTBK» "Ma'am, please go urinate in this and place the cup in the collection tray.*
  20. «LightRaider» *I grab it in my hands, wincing as I do so* "Wheres the bathroom?"
  21. «HTBK» "Down the hall, on your right."
  22. «LightRaider» "...thanks." *I walk down the hall, and go into the bathroom*
  23. «LightRaider» *I lock the door behind me, and pull down my pants" "Now, how does this thing work?"
  24. «LightRaider» *
  25. «LightRaider» *I put the cup right over it, and try to push out some urine*
  26. «HTBK» *Dude, this is nasty. GM ain't describin this shit.*
  27. «LightRaider» (got it)
  28. «LightRaider» *I come back into the doctor's office, cup full of urine*
  29. «LightRaider» *I hand it to him* "Here you go."
  30. «HTBK» "..."
  31. «HTBK» "I said put it in the collection tray?"
  32. «HTBK» "I don't want a cup of your piss, sir."
  33. «LightRaider» "Oh, my bad." *I move over to the tray, and pout some in*
  34. «HTBK» "..."
  35. «HTBK» "...Get out of my office."
  36. «LightRaider» "...why?"
  37. «HTBK» "Sir, you are *clearly* high as a kite."
  38. «HTBK» "Get out of here or I'm calling the police."
  39. «LightRaider» *I stand there, mouth agape, staring at him*
  40. «LightRaider» "I-I swear! I-i'm not!"
  41. «HTBK» "Go. Sir."
  42. «HTBK» "Now."
  43. «LightRaider» *I turn and run out the door, and head back towards my car*
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