In Which LightRaider Can't Into Urine Samples

«LightRaider» *I set nervously in the room, waiting for the doctor*
«LightRaider» "D...Doc? I need some help!"
«HTBK» *Presently, the doctor steps into the room, and looks at you curiously.*
«HTBK» "...Okay?"
«LightRaider» "I woke up this morning, and noticed my.. y'know, junk, was gone"
«HTBK» "...Come again?"
«LightRaider» "MY penis disappeared and now i have a vagina.
«HTBK» "..."
«LightRaider» "And my hair changed to this insane color"
«HTBK» "Ma'am, are you under the influence?"
«LightRaider» *I begin to shout* "For the last time, IM A GUY!
«HTBK» *The doctor deadpans. It looks a bit like this:
«HTBK» -__-
«HTBK» "Are you under the influence *sir*?"
«LightRaider» "I'm not fucking with you, I swear!"
«LightRaider» "And i'm not drunk, or stoned, or whatever!"
«HTBK» "..."
«HTBK» *He hands you a plastic cup.*
«HTBK» "Ma'am, please go urinate in this and place the cup in the collection tray.*
«LightRaider» *I grab it in my hands, wincing as I do so* "Wheres the bathroom?"
«HTBK» "Down the hall, on your right."
«LightRaider» "...thanks." *I walk down the hall, and go into the bathroom*
«LightRaider» *I lock the door behind me, and pull down my pants" "Now, how does this thing work?"
«LightRaider» *
«LightRaider» *I put the cup right over it, and try to push out some urine*
«HTBK» *Dude, this is nasty. GM ain't describin this shit.*
«LightRaider» (got it)
«LightRaider» *I come back into the doctor's office, cup full of urine*
«LightRaider» *I hand it to him* "Here you go."
«HTBK» "..."
«HTBK» "I said put it in the collection tray?"
«HTBK» "I don't want a cup of your piss, sir."
«LightRaider» "Oh, my bad." *I move over to the tray, and pout some in*
«HTBK» "..."
«HTBK» "...Get out of my office."
«LightRaider» "...why?"
«HTBK» "Sir, you are *clearly* high as a kite."
«HTBK» "Get out of here or I'm calling the police."
«LightRaider» *I stand there, mouth agape, staring at him*
«LightRaider» "I-I swear! I-i'm not!"
«HTBK» "Go. Sir."
«HTBK» "Now."
«LightRaider» *I turn and run out the door, and head back towards my car*