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Axe Anon II

Jan 1st, 2016
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  1. >"Good morning, Princess."
  2. >You smile as your assistant Raven pokes her head into your chambers
  3. "Good morning, Raven," you say as you run a comb through your mane. "I trust that you slept well?"
  4. >Raven grinned, walking into your room with a stack of papers floating in the air next to her
  5. >"Oh, me and the girls didn't get all that much sleep last night," she said with a chuckle. "PileDriver made sure of that."
  6. >You pause mid brush to look at the young unicorn
  7. "PileDriver? I thought that your stallion's name was Taffy Twist?"
  8. >You might have been an old mare but you'd like to think that your mind was just as sharp as it had been when you were younger
  9. >Maybe even sharper
  10. >And you do recall Raven telling you about--
  11. >"Taffy? Oh, me and the girls kicked him to the curd last week," Raven said, dropping the papers into your counter
  12. >Ahh...
  13. >Though there's still a smile on your face it was a bit more forced than it had been a second ago
  14. "Truly? That's a shame, from what you told me I thought that your herd was going to be with him for a long time..."
  15. >Raven shrugged, adjusting the glasses on her face with an almost bored expression
  16. >"Well, you know how it is, your Highness. A herd needs to play the field for a while, check to see if they can get better."
  17. >Your smile twitched as you turned away from the mare
  18. "If you say so my dear..."
  19. >As you continued to run your comb through your hair you let your mind wander
  20. >There was a time when the thought of a herd just dropping a stallion like he was an old pair of slippers was unheard of
  21. >Mares would cherish any colt that they would be lucky to get; no matter how big or handsome they were...
  22. >But then again stallions back in your day were a completely different breed than the ones that now ran around
  23. >They had been stronger willed, not afraid to square their shoulders and work for what they needed and wanted and what their loved ones needed and wanted
  24. >There wasn't this... this expectation of being helped through life
  25.  
  26. >No cries of outrage when they didn't get their way
  27. >There was no cheapness, no jealously or envy with what others had
  28. >You don't know what happened over the years, why the culture and the closeness of herding had changed
  29. >It must have happened slowly, gradually, so that when you noticed what was happening it was far too late to do anything about it
  30. >You were an old fuddy duddy with out of date values in the new, strange world
  31. >You weren't bitter about what had become of your ponies
  32. >No, more... sad really...
  33. >But there was nothing you could do about it
  34. >If this was what your little ponies had become and this was how the sexes treated each other then you could only do your best to make your subjects happy
  35. >...Even if, every once in awhile, you yearned for those simpler times to come back...
  36. >You blinked at your reflection on the mirror, realizing that you had been staring at it for a rather long time
  37. >Oh my
  38. >It seemed like it was going to be one of those mornings...
  39. >You hadn't even had your breakfast and you were milling on the past like some ancient grump...
  40. >Just smile, Celestia
  41. >Smiling's really the only thing you can do...
  42. >Clearing your throat you look back at your patiently waiting assistant
  43. "Now, why don't we start our day my dear. First, would be be so kind as to tell me what all these papers that you've dropped into my lap are?"
  44. >The rest of your morning is a blur of activity
  45. >There's papers to sign, documents to examine, treaties and laws to revise and think over
  46. >After that and a very quick bite to eat you make your way to the throne room for the Day Court
  47. >Another day another bit...
  48. >"Auntie! AUNTIE!
  49. >You close your eyes and let out a gentle sigh as your nephew appears next to you wearing... a thing...
  50. "Good morning, Blueblood," you say, trying to keep the irritation out of your voice
  51. >The young prince let out this whiny, high pitched squeal
  52. >"Auntie, I need my allowance raised," he cried with a stomp of his hoof
  53.  
  54. >A good morning would have been appreciated but this is what you've come to expect from your "beloved" nephew
  55. "And why would you need that hon?" you asked gently
  56. >You looked at his... outfit again
  57. "It wouldn't be because somepony dressed you like a peacock is it?"
  58. >Raven snorted, covering her face with her clipboard, as Blueblood gasped
  59. >"I do NOT look like a peacock," he said indignantly, the feathers on his back shaking this way and that way. "This is the newest design by--"
  60. >You didn't know what it was
  61. >Maybe you were feeling a bit more tired than usual today
  62. >Maybe it was the nasally, high-pitched tone that was coming out of your nephew's mouth hole
  63. >Maybe it was the fact that Blueblood had turned into... this even though you had done your best to raise him as a good, hard working stallion and the knowledge of that was getting to you
  64. >You blame his parents
  65. >If they didn't baby him so and gave him a little more responsibility when he was younger maybe he wouldn't have turned into a stereotypical noblestallion...
  66. >Whatever it was you found that your usually endless patience had run out
  67. "I'd love to continue our conversation, nephew, but it appears that we are at the throne room and if I linger here any longer I'll be late for the Day Court."
  68. >Blueblood sputtered as you calmly walked past him
  69. >"B-But auntie!" I--"
  70. "I hope you have a wonderful day, my little pony."
  71. >Both you and Raven leave the prince standing there fuming
  72. >"Geeze, no wonder that colt doesn't have a herd," Raven muttered with a shake of her head. "He should be ecstatic with what he has..."
  73. >You couldn't help but smile sadly at the irony
  74. "Yes he should, my little pony. Yes he should..."
  75. >The instant they see you were guards throw open the giant golden doors of the throne room
  76. >You take a few deep breaths as you make your way to your throne, mentally preparing yourself for what was most likely going to be a long, long day
  77.  
  78. "So dare I ask who's the first pony we are to meet is?" you asked, climbing up to and sitting on your throne
  79. >Chuckling, Raven stood beside you, leafing through some papers
  80. >From what I heard some stallions may or may not be the first to see your Highness this morning."
  81. >...Horse apples...
  82. >The smile finally slips off your face and you frown
  83. >It looked like what was already going to be a long day was going to get a lot longer...
  84. "Did you inform them that I'm still not looking for a mate?" you asked carefully
  85. >"I told them but like always they were insistent."
  86. >Of course they were...
  87. "And did you remind Mr. Fancy Pants that the Day Court is for important matters and that using it to court me is against the law."
  88. >Raven made a face
  89. >"You know that Fancy and his gaggle of stallions could have a team a lawyer's find a loophole around that law by the end of the afternoon, my lady."
  90. >...She was right there
  91. >For whatever reason a group of noble stallions had decided lay claim on the greatest conquest that they could find
  92. >They had torn through every lady, business mare, and supermodel that they could get their hooves on, breaking hearts and ruining mares lives from what you've been told, but it appeared they didn't just want to be nobles
  93. >No, they wanted to earn the title of prince consort if they could get it
  94. >Since Cadence was taken and you'd skin anypony alive that bothered Twilight, be they stallion or mare, both you and your sister were the main targets
  95. >The stallions in questions were just like your dear nephew
  96. >Most of them were young
  97. >Many of them came from very wealthy and powerful families
  98. >And all of them wanted to be in a powerful herd
  99. >The colt leading the charge was a Mr. Fancy Pants, one of the biggest gold diggers that you have ever known in all of your years
  100. >More than once you had tried to stop this "wooing"
  101. >You did not want a husband at the moment
  102. >Especially if that lot were the ones that you had to pick from
  103.  
  104. >But every time you shooed them away they'd come back, lavishing you with honeyed words and bedroom eyes
  105. >You were sure, as you sat there, Fancy was looking through the Canterlot archives or some such thing to find some ancient law saying that you had to wed SOMEPONY
  106. >The stallions had been bothering you for MONTHS, ever since your dear sister had returned and you had gotten your fill of it
  107. >In short you were sick of it
  108. >You had had enough of their hounding, you were sick of telling them that you weren't interesting, and if you would have had your way you would have put each and every one of them over your knee so that you could punish them like the spoiled foals that they were
  109. >...If only...
  110. >You might have been sick of their behavior but there wasn't all that much you could do about it
  111. >While throwing the stallions in the deepest, darkest dungeons you could find would probably solve the problem the public outcry would be too much of a headache
  112. >You couldn't make a law that said they COULDN'T woo you since it was wrong and they'd probably find a loophole within the week
  113. >And you had already tried telling them you were a fillyfooler and they hadn't believed you one little bit!
  114. >...Though that might have been more your fault you supposed...
  115. >It could have been that you didn't have the look of a carpet muncher...
  116. >Maybe you needed you get your nose pierced?
  117. >Nevertheless you would have to suffer through these stallions attempts until they either got bored or you outlived them
  118. >And you were a pretty patient mare
  119. >It wouldn't be the first time that you've had to resort to playing the waiting game
  120. >You were very good at it in fact
  121. >...Though you wish you didn't need to be...
  122. >With a sigh you slumped back into your chair
  123. "Very well then, let's get this over--"
  124. >"Oh, good morning Princess--"
  125. >"Silence welp. We have no desire to listen to thee prattle on."
  126. >"Oh my--"
  127. >"Leave or we SHALL RIP THY TAILS OFF!"
  128.  
  129. >You sighed again as your lovely sister's voice boomed through the throne room
  130. >The throne room and probably most of the castle...
  131. >Luna always could yell with the best of them...
  132. >From the other side of the door screaming could be heard as well as many ponies fleeing for their lives as Luna continued to spew threats and curses
  133. >...
  134. >Well then...
  135. >It looked like you weren't the only one that was having an off way
  136. >Luna was usually able to last a LITTLE longer than that
  137. >The doors to the throne room were encased in a blue magic and wrenched open, revealing your dear, dear sister Luna
  138. >And by your sun did she not look happy
  139. "Luna, what did I tell you about snapping at stallions?" you gently chided as she stomped toward you, growling like an angry manticore
  140. >"If we had to listen to those weaklings speak for a moment longer than we would have done far more than SNAP at them, sister mine."
  141. >Aw
  142. >Fancy and his crew must have tried to speak to your sister first...
  143. >You'd think they would have learned from the last time they did that...
  144. >Just like you your sister didn't very much care for the stallions of today
  145. >But unlike you she didn't have a thousand years of getting used to it
  146. >You had learned to deal with it over the years, saddened by the change but you knew there wasn't anything you could do about it
  147. >Luna didn't have that
  148. >When she looked at stallions she didn't see the fairer sex that needed to be showered with praise and affection
  149. >No
  150. >All she saw was a bunch of lazy ingrates that did nothing good for the world that they lived in
  151. >...Her words not yours
  152. >Your sister had been sent the moon during the golden age of stallions
  153. >Though they were far scarcer than they were today even the worst were colts that you would have been proud to take to your beds
  154. >And now that she was home all she saw was an inferior breed of what once was
  155. >And she was less than pleased with this fact
  156.  
  157. >You understood her frustration at having to deal with another change in what must have seemed like a totally different world than the one she remembered
  158. >So you weren't too hard on her whenever she lost her temper or said something that a mare should not say to today's stallion
  159. > In fact you had managed to keep most of Luna's outbursts from being too... damaging
  160. >Though today it looked like that track was broken
  161. >If you had to guess you were going to get more than a few complaints tomorrow...
  162. >...
  163. >Well, hopefully Fancy and his friends learned their lesson
  164. >You'd bet your crown that they didn't but a mare could hope
  165. >You couldn't help but crack a bit of a smile as you looked down at your little sister
  166. "So is there anything you needed, sister mine? Or did you just swoop in to save me from my tormentors?"
  167. >Luna snorted, sitting on her haunches
  168. >"Nay."
  169. >She looked up at you with a hopeful expression
  170. >"Unless thou wilst finally allow me to punish Fancy and his gang of miscreants?"
  171. >You gave your sister a look
  172. "We both know that I can't do that Luna..."
  173. >Grumbling, Luna crossed her hooves and looked away from you, an adorable little pout on her face
  174. >"Tis a crime for anypony to waste the time of a goddess..."
  175. >Getting off your throne you walk down to your sister and wrap a wing around her
  176. "It's not a crime that I can get anypony in trouble for I'm afraid," you jokingly lament. "If I could our dungeon would be overflow--"
  177. >Your head snapped over toward the window as a green flicker of magic wormed its way through the glass panels towards you
  178. >Your horn glowed, catching it
  179. "Hmm, what is this?"
  180. >The second that your magic made contact with it the green flicker burst into flame before a scroll appeared
  181. >"A letter from thy pupil I wager," Luna said as you levitated the letter over toward yourself
  182. "You'd be right. I'd know this paper anywhere."
  183. >It had been a long while since your old student had sent you a letter
  184. >Maybe she sent you a friendship letter?
  185.  
  186.  
  187. >You did enjoy yourself a good friendship letter every now and again
  188. >You couldn't help but smile at the thought as you used your magic to untie and unroll the scroll
  189. "Let's see what we have here..."
  190. >The smile on your face became smaller and smaller as you read through the letter
  191. >A wild stallion...
  192. >A failed attempt at bringing him into town so that he would be safer...
  193. >The assault on a royal person and near thirty mares...
  194. >...
  195. >...
  196. >...
  197. >What in the name of your sun was your student DOING?
  198. >The look on your face must have been something to see since the moment you lifted your head from the letter Luna snatched it out of your magic and began to read it herself
  199. >"Is... Is there something wrong your majesty?" Raven asked, worry creeping onto her features
  200. >You just started at the mare, searching for a proper answer
  201. >This was the first time in a very long time since you had been truly flabbergasted
  202. >So you wanted to think on your words as well as what you just read
  203. >Your help was needed to "capture" a stallion; the one that you had invited to stay in your kingdom many months ago
  204. >His name was not one easily said so he had taken the name Anonymous to make it easier on everypony
  205. >You might not have met Anon for more than a hoofful of times you knew him as a calm and collected, if a bit quiet, stallion
  206. >He might have been physically different from your little ponies but you'd never think that he had it in him to attack a group of mares...
  207. >...Unless it was for a good reason...
  208. >Hmmm....
  209. "Raven? Could you be a dear and cancel all of my appointments for the next two days? It seems that something has come up with Twilight that I need to see to."
  210. >Luna, her muzzle still buried in the letter, snorted
  211. >"Aye, something hath come up alright..."
  212. >Nudging her with a wing you smiled at your assistant
  213. "Raven, could you leave my sister and I for a moment? The two of us need to discuss something in private."
  214.  
  215. >Raven looked at you and your sister before scurrying off her place near the throne
  216. >"Of course your majesty," she said with a bow. "I'll go and see that everything is cancelled as you've asked."
  217. >You nod your head as the mare bowed once again before scurrying out of the room
  218. >Both you and Luna waited before she was gone and the door was closed before the two of you looked at each other
  219. >"Art thou sure that it was Twilight Sparkle that send this letter?" Luna questioned, looking at the offending piece of paper with skepticism. "Might it be from some prankster?"
  220. "This Is Spike's clawwriting," you say, taking the letter back from her and giving it another look over. "I'd know it anywhere..."
  221. >Luna's muzzle scrunched up
  222. >"If what thou art saying is true then Twilight Sparkle, a mare that hath fought an army of Changelings in hoof-to-hoof combat and come out of it relatively unscathed, was not just beaten by a magicless stallion but her and thirty other mares were defeated?"
  223. >...Yeah, that sounded a heck of a lot more outlandish out loud than it did in your head...
  224. "My student isn't one to lie, Luna," you said, folding up the paper. "If she said that happened then I'm inclined to believe her."
  225. >Without needing prompt the two of you begin to make your way out of the throne room
  226. "Even so, this seems a little hard to believe even if it's coming from Twilight. I'd like to go down to Ponyville and see what happened myself."
  227. >From what you had gathered Twilight wasn't very happy with getting beat up by a stallion
  228. >She wanted you to arrest the colt of all things!
  229. >Even if you could have done that-- you couldn't since legally the attack had been in the Everfree, a lawless zone-- throwing anypony in a dungeon wasn't something you wanted to do
  230. >Such an act should be only used as a last resort
  231. >What you needed to try to do first was talk to all parties, see why the attack happened and what you could do to make sure that it didn't happen again
  232.  
  233. >You've found that coming at problems with an even hoof and with friendship in mind is the best way to solve the problem nine times out of ten
  234. >You were sure that this wasn't an exception
  235. "The two of us will go and see what we can find, see if we can help with Twilight's problem in a peaceful manner."
  236. >Luna grinned
  237. >"And thou also wish to skip out on thy duties yes?
  238. >You couldn't help but crack a smile at that
  239. "If you want to stay here and deal with paperwork and pushy stallions than I have no intention of stopping you, sister mine."
  240. >You have to bite back your laughter when your sister paled
  241. "No? Well then off to Ponyville I suppose."
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