pilby

0
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:20,960
Here's a surprise.

2
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,120
Guess who's not coming
to Thanksgiving?

3
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,280
Your dad?

4
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:28,120
He's such a hypocrite.
I hate hypocrites.

5
00:01:28,120 --> 00:01:29,280
I'm sorry.

6
00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:34,960
Is this for me?

7
00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,920
I figured you'd have
more use for it than I will.

8
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:40,120
Right.
Thanks.

9
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:41,480
I swear to God.

10
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,560
The man is incapable
of keeping a promise.

11
00:01:44,560 --> 00:01:45,920
What was his reason?

12
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,560
You tell me.
He's your friend.

13
00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,920
- Carrie--
- He said he has to, um,
stay in London.

14
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,520
Why would anyone choose
to stay in London?

15
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:54,880
London's awful.

16
00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:56,440
When's the last time
you were in London?

17
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,840
When I was 12.

18
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,920
When your mom was sick?

19
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,160
Don't do that.

20
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:03,320
Do what?

21
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:05,680
Make associations
in your head.

22
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,520
I don't like London
because it is cold,

23
00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,800
it is repressed.

24
00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,000
And everyone
looks like they've smoked

25
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:11,120
too many cigarettes.

26
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,760
Did you make any friends
this week?

27
00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,040
You and I both know

28
00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:16,240
there's a perfectly
good reason

29
00:02:16,240 --> 00:02:17,280
I don't have any friends.

30
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:18,560
So, what
did you do this week?

31
00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,200
What I normally do.

32
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,120
- Reading?
- Mostly.

33
00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:25,760
And how many books
did you read?

34
00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:26,720
Seventeen.

35
00:02:29,160 --> 00:02:30,720
And does reading
17 books in one week

36
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,920
seem normal to you?

37
00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:34,440
No, no, of course
it's not normal.

38
00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,240
I mean, does skipping

39
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,040
three grades of school
seem normal?

40
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:41,440
Does going to Harvard
at the age of 14 seem normal?

41
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:43,040
I'm clearly not normal.

42
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,400
I thought we'd established
that was the problem.

43
00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,160
Carrie, I want you to do
something for me.

44
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:50,080
What?

45
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,560
You and I
are going to come up with

46
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,000
a list of goals
you're going to achieve

47
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,600
between now
and the end of the year.

48
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:57,680
So, for our next session,
I want you to think about

49
00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,000
some of the things
you'd like to have
on that list.

50
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,960
Things you've done
in your life and enjoyed.

51
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,400
What kind of things
do you expect me

52
00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:06,480
to put on this list?

53
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,160
For example,
join a club.

54
00:03:08,160 --> 00:03:10,800
Why should I force myself
to go out and meet people

55
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:14,360
who have lowered
their moral, ethical,
and intellectual standards

56
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,880
in order to fit in
with other people

57
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,680
who have low moral, ethical,
and intellectual standards?

58
00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:20,880
You're such a contrarian.

59
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:21,920
No, I'm not.

60
00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:23,520
( chuckles )

61
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:24,560
( snickers )

62
00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,880
A little helpful advice.

63
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,440
One,
try to stop pontificating

64
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,640
and rubbing
your exceptionally high IQ

65
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,440
in people's noses.

66
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:35,360
Two, give humanity
a chance.

67
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,920
Someone
might surprise you.

68
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,080
Time's up.

69
00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:41,280
Carrie, wait.

70
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:42,480
You were quite late,
so I don't mind

71
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:43,680
going a couple
of minutes over.

72
00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:44,920
I do.

73
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,320
I'm actually in the middle
of reading

74
00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,960
Foucault's
"Archeology of Knowledge."

75
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:51,680
I highly recommend it,
by the way.

76
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,400
And, if you
speak to my dad,

77
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,920
please give him
the message

78
00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,680
that I don't accept
his excuses or his apologies

79
00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:00,080
and that hiring me
a therapist

80
00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:01,920
is no more
a satisfactory replacement

81
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:03,360
for an actual parent,

82
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:04,880
than sending me
off to college

83
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,200
at an inappropriately
young age.

84
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:14,720
Sorry for being, um--

85
00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,720
I completely understand.

86
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,240
Happy Thanksgiving.

87
00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:20,120
You too.

88
00:04:30,720 --> 00:04:32,640
Hey, Carrie.
What's up?

89
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,480
Hi, Ronald.

90
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:39,280
- Do you need a menu?
- Oh, sure.

91
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,200
Someone still
buys DVDs, huh?

92
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,600
Someone still does, yeah.

93
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:44,560
And you know what?

94
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:45,960
I have never had to wait

95
00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,480
for the movie to load
halfway through the film.

96
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,080
I'll have the soup.

97
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,120
Yeah, sure.

98
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,000
- Hi, there.
- Hi.

99
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:13,120
Look, before you launch
into your moves or whatever,

100
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,840
I just want you to know

101
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,400
that I'm not really
in the right frame of mind

102
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,120
to make flirty chitchat
with a total stranger.

103
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,600
Even though, admittedly,
you're quite a cute one.

104
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,920
But I've just--
dealing with being let down

105
00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,880
by my dad--
not for the first time.

106
00:05:23,880 --> 00:05:26,200
And I've just had
a really tough session

107
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,240
with my therapist.

108
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,680
- Um--
- I'm sorry.

109
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,160
I just wanted to know
if I can borrow this chair.

110
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,920
Oh, definitely.

111
00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,480
Yes.

112
00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,760
Take it.
Knock yourself out!

113
00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,240
Not with the...
chair.

114
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,240
( bell jingles )

115
00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:51,040
Girl:
Hey!

116
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,080
Do you want me
to pack this to go?

117
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,680
Yes!
Please, yes.

118
00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:12,520
( woman speaking on TV )

119
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,480
( didgeridoo drones )

120
00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,400
What the hell is that?

121
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:39,800
Yo! World music guy!

122
00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,120
- Hey!
- Can you go

123
00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:42,400
and hold your one-man

124
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,880
aborigine festival thing
somewhere else?

125
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,880
Like Australia?

126
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,520
Sure.

127
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:53,400
( ringtone plays )

128
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,000
Hi, Dad.

129
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,360
Dad:
Hello, darling,
how are you?

130
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:01,760
Got your message.

131
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,560
You're not coming
for Thanksgiving.

132
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:05,240
Shocker.

133
00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:06,520
Dad:
So sorry, darling.

134
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,160
I really thought
I could swing it,

135
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,880
but I just
can't get away.

136
00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:12,800
It's such
an American thing anyways.

137
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,520
I promise I'll be there
for Christmas.

138
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:18,320
Well,
it would have been nice

139
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:20,200
to have a bit
more notice.

140
00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:22,240
But listen,
I do have good news.

141
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,840
I've found you a job
at the law firm

142
00:07:24,840 --> 00:07:26,160
of a friend of mine.

143
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,600
In what world
is that good news?

144
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,600
If anything,
that is very, very bad news.

145
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,000
But it'll be good
for you.

146
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,040
Well, I'm still four years
ahead of my peers.

147
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,920
Do you want me
to be maladjusted?

148
00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,480
It'll be easy,
I promise.

149
00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:44,400
It's a night job,
proofreading legal briefs.

150
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:46,360
You love reading.

151
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,080
Not proofreading,

152
00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,600
and certainly not
legal briefs.

153
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,800
Well, at least
it'll be quiet.

154
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,360
You won't have
to talk to a soul

155
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,640
if you don't want to.

156
00:07:56,640 --> 00:08:00,120
If you have a better offer,
by all means.

157
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,560
What happened
to "Take some time"?

158
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,280
Well, it has
been a year, darling.

159
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,280
And to be
absolutely honest,

160
00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:08,920
it would really help
if you could

161
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:12,480
bring something to the table,
so to speak.

162
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:16,160
Isn't there
some other way?

163
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:20,320
You could get a roommate
instead if you prefer.

164
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,280
Okay, fine.

165
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,720
I'll take the job.

166
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:28,920
( "Morning"
by Edvard Grieg plays )

167
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,720
( elevator bell dings )

168
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,400
( phones ringing )

169
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,000
Hello?

170
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,360
( phone ringing continues )

171
00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:51,320
- What you listening to?
- Hmm?

172
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:57,800
Wait, isn't that
from Bugs Bunny?

173
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:02,880
It's "Morning."
"Peer Gynt," Edvard Grieg.

174
00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:05,720
I'm pretty sure that's from
one of the "Looney Tunes."

175
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,040
Who are you?

176
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,840
- Douglas.
- Do you work here?

177
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,440
No, I just didn't
have anyone

178
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,840
to spend
Thanksgiving with,

179
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,200
so I've been wandering
around the building

180
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:19,520
hoping to find someone
to share my turducken.

181
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,480
- ( chuckles )
- Right.

182
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,240
I'm kidding.

183
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:25,080
You're Carrie Pilby,
right?

184
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,880
I might be.

185
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:30,560
Sometimes when the documents
get copied and/or faxed,

186
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,120
the periods end up
looking like commas.

187
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,760
And the "Hs" end up
looking like "Ks,"

188
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:37,680
You know,
that sort of thing.

189
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,120
No wonder lawyers
charge 400 bucks an hour,

190
00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,080
they pay people
to play "Concentration."

191
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:44,920
Oh, no. I'm sorry.
Douglas got to you first.

192
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,440
I always try to get
to the new people

193
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,000
before he does,
but he's quick as lighting.

194
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,240
Ooh.

195
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,600
I'm Tara.

196
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:52,760
Carrie.

197
00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:53,840
I wish
I could say he's more

198
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,160
the exception
to the rule,

199
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:56,720
but what can I tell you?

200
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,600
This job attracts
a strange breed.

201
00:10:58,600 --> 00:10:59,720
Clearly.

202
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:01,240
( phone rings )

203
00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,040
( chuckles )

204
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:05,280
You're gonna fit in
just fine.

205
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:37,800
Holidays are a drag, huh?

206
00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,800
For some people, yes.

207
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,400
What did you do for yours?

208
00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:46,600
Nothing.

209
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,400
Just--
just went to work.

210
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,040
What?
You got a job?

211
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,760
Well, my dad
got it for me.

212
00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:54,320
Kind of
a consolation prize

213
00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,720
for not coming
to Thanksgiving.

214
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,480
But I didn't have
to eat any dry turkey

215
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,880
or talk to anyone.

216
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,080
Wonderful.

217
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,120
So, how's it going
with the list?

218
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:03,360
What list?

219
00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:05,240
The list we talked
about last time.

220
00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,880
I have no recollection
of this list.

221
00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,600
You've got
a photographic memory.

222
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,400
- It's selective.
- Excuse.

223
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,560
I've been very busy.

224
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,560
Excuse.

225
00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:15,960
I haven't had time to--

226
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:17,360
- Excuse!
- Stop saying--

227
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,600
Excuse.

228
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,840
Well, not to worry.

229
00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:22,600
I made one for you.

230
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,440
Go on, read it.

231
00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:29,880
"Go on a date."

232
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:30,840
( laughs )

233
00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:32,840
"Make a friend.

234
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:35,680
Spend New Year's Eve
with someone.

235
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,200
Get a pet."

236
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,200
It'll help to have something
to care for.

237
00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,440
Keep going.

238
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:42,520
"Do something
you loved as a child."

239
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,600
Like what?

240
00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,200
Well,
it could be anything.

241
00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,000
What did you do
when you were six

242
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,160
that you don't do anymore?

243
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,280
I wrote several
strongly-worded letters

244
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,000
to oil companies
when I was six.

245
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,880
Wow, okay.

246
00:12:57,880 --> 00:12:59,640
How about an indulgence

247
00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:02,560
that you no longer
allow yourself?

248
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:05,400
I used to love
drinking cherry soda.

249
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:06,720
Excellent,
there you go.

250
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,640
Great, I'll drink
a cherry soda

251
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,200
and all my problems
will just disappear.

252
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:16,000
What's next?

253
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,120
"Read favorite book."

254
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:21,360
Ah!
Do you have one?

255
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:25,640
Yeah, "Franny and Zooey,"
Salinger.

256
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,240
But I don't have it.
I lent it to someone.

257
00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:31,040
Can you get it back?

258
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,920
I don't know.

259
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,240
Well, look, just try.

260
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:37,200
See how it goes,
do what you can,

261
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,520
one at a time.

262
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,040
Why do you want me
to do this so much?

263
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,000
Because staying
at home in bed all day

264
00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:44,360
won't make you happy.

265
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,760
You need to get out
and meet people,

266
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,040
begin some
meaningful relationships.

267
00:13:49,040 --> 00:13:51,720
Maybe if you
put yourself out there,

268
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,400
doing things you enjoy...

269
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,680
( keyboard clacking )

270
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:04,200
Hmm, "Franny and Zooey,"
one of my favorites.

271
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:06,600
You've got good taste.

272
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,720
Well, welcome

273
00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,520
to English 303,
the Modernists.

274
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,680
I'm Professor Harrison,
and you are a bunch of kids

275
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,920
who think you already
know everything

276
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:17,960
but haven't even
got a clue

277
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,240
about what life
is really like

278
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,640
beyond the ivy walls.

279
00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:22,680
It's banal,
nauseating carousel

280
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:25,160
of responsibility
and disappointments,

281
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,320
one after another.

282
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,960
But, my sweater
is soft and the rain

283
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,280
streaking down
the window is kinda lovely,

284
00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,880
so I guess I won't
off myself just yet.

285
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,120
( students chuckling )

286
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:38,600
The Modernists,
especially Joyce and Wolff

287
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,800
were very big
on stream of consciousness

288
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,360
techniques
in their novels,

289
00:14:42,360 --> 00:14:44,280
and you just got
your first lesson in it.

290
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:47,600
Would anyone
like to give it a try?

291
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,800
Say whatever
pops into your mind.

292
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:53,480
"Franny and Zooey,"
how about you?

293
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,960
Oh, I wouldn't know
what to say.

294
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:58,000
It's not difficult.

295
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,320
You just start
with your name,

296
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,000
where you're from,
kinda go from there.

297
00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:08,560
My name's Carrie Pilby,
I-- well I was born in London

298
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,520
but I moved to New York
when I was 12

299
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,360
just after my mom died.

300
00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:14,440
I guess I shouldn't
have said that,

301
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,560
'cause now everyone's
feeling weird

302
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,560
about the girl
whose mom died.

303
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,480
Like I'm Antigone
or Harry Potter,

304
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,240
or Bambi or something.

305
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,440
But I'm not a Greek tragedy
or a wizard.

306
00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,600
( chuckling continues )

307
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:29,040
And if I was a character
in a movie,

308
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:32,400
I'd like to be
Katherine Hepburn,

309
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,600
preferably in a movie
where she gives

310
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,320
Spencer Tracy
a run for his money.

311
00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:39,120
But I can tell
I'm boring you now.

312
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:43,960
And this is hard,
harder than skipping
fourth and eighth grade.

313
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:46,080
But not as hard
as skipping second grade,

314
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,920
because going
from pencil to pen

315
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,640
- was pretty abrupt.
- ( girl chuckles )

316
00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,960
Professor Harrison:
Excellent.

317
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,960
If you want to use
pencil in my class,

318
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:54,720
you're more
than welcome.

319
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,080
Now, anyone else
wanna give it a shot?

320
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,880
Man:
Carrie? Carrie?

321
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,280
I really believe

322
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:09,320
that if you do the things
on this list,

323
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:13,680
you're going to feel
a lot better about life.

324
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:14,760
I bet I won't.

325
00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,560
So, prove it.

326
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:19,040
Prove to me
that I don't know how

327
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:20,280
to do my job.

328
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:25,480
- You're a very odd man.
- Thank you.

329
00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,720
That's the nicest compliment
I've had all day.

330
00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,600
Hi.

331
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,480
Davy, I would like
a goldfish, please.

332
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:46,200
We're having
a two-for-one special.

333
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:47,160
I just want one.

334
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,360
But the other one
is free.

335
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,480
They're social creatures.

336
00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:52,760
You heard me say
I want a fish, right?

337
00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:54,040
Not a chimpanzee.

338
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,280
Fish swim in schools.
They like company.

339
00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:01,240
Fish swim in schools
because, evolutionarily,

340
00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:03,320
it gives them
a better chance of surviving.

341
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:04,280
My fish is going
to be living

342
00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:05,400
in a one bedroom
apartment,

343
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:06,720
not the Great Barrier Reef.

344
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,000
Fine, just
give me two fish.

345
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,680
Great!

346
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,280
Woman:
Taxi!

347
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,920
( shutter clicks )

348
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,160
( camera whirs )

349
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,520
Carrie:
Katherine...

350
00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,720
your job
is to prove Petrov wrong.

351
00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:36,320
Spencer, your job is to keep
Katherine happy.

352
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,360
( man coughs )

353
00:17:48,360 --> 00:17:49,720
Hey!

354
00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:51,800
Get away from there
before I call the police!

355
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,440
Why?

356
00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,160
One, because
you're clearly smoking

357
00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:56,200
something illegal.

358
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:57,440
And two,
because it looks like

359
00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,800
you're about to burgle
that apartment.

360
00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:00,920
Why would I want to burgle
my own apartment?

361
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:03,240
- You don't live there.
- Well, then I definitely

362
00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,280
- need to stop paying rent.
- No, some other guy

363
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,440
- lives there.
- Yeah, my roommate, Ted.

364
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:10,760
Okay, well,
if it's your apartment,

365
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,120
why do you play
your didgeridoo

366
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:14,160
in the street
like a crazy hippy?

367
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,640
Because Ted doesn't like me
practicing in the apartment.

368
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:19,640
I can't say I blame him.

369
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,520
You wanna play it?

370
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,280
It might help you relax.

371
00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:25,840
What makes you think
I'm not relaxed?

372
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,840
When people's shoulders
aren't naturally aligned

373
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,400
with their earlobes
like that.

374
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,320
Maybe I'm cold.

375
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,560
Maybe you shouldn't make
assumptions

376
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,000
about people
you don't know.

377
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,280
Hey listen, I was just
razzing you-- I didn't--

378
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,720
...mean anything by it.

379
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,800
I am going to work.

380
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:03,080
If anyone calls,
take a message.

381
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,120
( phones ringing )

382
00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:21,000
Did you just have an orgasm
over a cherry soda?

383
00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,800
Can you just leave me
to drink my soda in peace?

384
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:28,000
Oh, of course, of course,

385
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,400
I'll let you two
have some privacy.

386
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,000
( chuckles )

387
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:45,280
( shutter clicks )

388
00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:50,240
So, what's your deal?
Are you a student?

389
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:52,440
No, I graduated
last year.

390
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,160
From where?

391
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,360
Boston.

392
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,120
Boston University?

393
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:59,360
No, it was in
Cambridge actually.

394
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:01,760
Emerson, Brandeis,
Northeastern...

395
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,080
Harvard.

396
00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,800
So, why don't you
just say Harvard?

397
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,960
Because when
I say Harvard,

398
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,760
people always reply
with something asinine,

399
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,160
like,
"Say something smart."

400
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,360
Hey, did you know Carrie
went to Harvard?

401
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,360
No way.
Say something smart.

402
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,040
No, no.

403
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:20,960
Seriously.

404
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,040
I think the influence

405
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:28,400
of Kierkegaard on Camus
is underestimated,

406
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,720
I believe Hobbes
is just Rousseau
in a dark mirror,

407
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,920
and I truly
believe with Hegel

408
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,240
that transcendence
is absorption.

409
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:35,240
Cool.

410
00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:37,880
I have no idea
what you just said,

411
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,520
but you sure sound
like a friggin' genius.

412
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,080
I stole that
from "Infinite Jest"

413
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,360
by David Foster Wallace.

414
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:46,240
Oh, come on.
Smart and pretty?

415
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:47,960
You must be killing it
out there.

416
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,120
You have a boyfriend?

417
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,640
Is that really
your next question?

418
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,160
Okay, so what kind of guy
are you looking for?

419
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,640
I'm not looking
for any kind of guy.

420
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:57,080
So, you go for girls?

421
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,720
No, I'm not a lesbian.

422
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,320
Are you a nun?

423
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:02,080
Good one.

424
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,480
I can't believe
you've never had Moroccan.

425
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,080
I've always wanted
to try it.

426
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:09,320
And thanks
for inviting me.

427
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,400
Well,
I couldn't have you alone

428
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,880
on Thanksgiving,
now could I?

429
00:21:11,840 --> 00:21:14,240
What, so you don't take
all your students to dinner?

430
00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,040
Only my best
and brightest.

431
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:17,720
( chuckles )

432
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:19,120
Sparkling water
for the lady,

433
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,760
and a glass of Barolo
for me, please.

434
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:24,480
Thank you.

435
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,560
You know...

436
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:30,320
I skipped a grade of school
growing up, too.

437
00:21:30,320 --> 00:21:32,640
Yeah,
it was so frustrating

438
00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:33,800
knowing
that I was smarter

439
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:35,240
than most
of the adults I knew,

440
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,840
and yet they still
treated me like a child.

441
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,760
I hated, absolutely hated,
being treated like a child.

442
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:44,840
Yeah,
I really hate that too.

443
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:46,760
Although,
I technically was a child

444
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:48,080
until fairly recently.

445
00:21:48,080 --> 00:21:52,360
Yeah, but you've got
an old soul.

446
00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:53,680
And I'm kind of young
at heart,

447
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,520
so I guess we meet
in the middle.

448
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,960
Yeah. Thanks.

449
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,280
Thank you.

450
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:01,440
Well, cheers.

451
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,680
- ( glasses clink )
- Cheers.

452
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:08,800
Oh, oh,
that's just masterful.

453
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,680
Really, really delicious.
How's your water?

454
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:16,440
It's pedestrian,
with a frothy finish.

455
00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:18,760
Would you like
to taste my wine?

456
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:20,480
Okay.

457
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,400
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

458
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:24,160
Okay, okay.

459
00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:26,000
First, breathe in
the bouquet.

460
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:29,480
All right,
now take a sip.

461
00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,320
Let the wine
coat your tongue.

462
00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:38,360
Really?

463
00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:40,280
That looks good on you.

464
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:41,480
What?

465
00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:45,400
The wine.
It stained your lips red.

466
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,960
Man #2:
It's in every single
sexual fantasy I have.

467
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,640
Things are going great,
and then right before
the main event,

468
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:56,960
the phone rings.

469
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:58,600
Man:
Do you answer it?

470
00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:00,800
Man #2:
No, but it still
totally ruins the moment.

471
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,960
So, things
get hot and heavy,

472
00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:06,320
but just before intercourse,
the phone rings.

473
00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:09,600
Man #2:
And then, my penis
becomes the size of a nub.

474
00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:11,280
It practically
disappears.

475
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:12,440
I'm like a Ken doll

476
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:13,440
- with no genitalia--
- Oh, uh--

477
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,880
- Good God.
- Sorry.

478
00:23:14,880 --> 00:23:16,560
I thought I was late.

479
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:18,480
I'm sorry, George.

480
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,080
It is time, in fact.

481
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,160
Let's come back
to this next week, shall we?

482
00:23:22,160 --> 00:23:25,200
Oh, we have a couple
more minutes remaining.

483
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:26,720
But we could tack
that onto next week?

484
00:23:26,720 --> 00:23:28,280
Absolutely.
Thank you, George.

485
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,320
Okay.
Thank you, doc.

486
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,920
- Call me.
- Carrie!

487
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:36,960
Carrie!

488
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:38,400
That was awful.

489
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,640
And I'd appreciate
you not listening in

490
00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:41,960
on my sessions.

491
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:45,400
Sorry, the door was just
flat enough for my...

492
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,880
for my ear.

493
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:48,920
Anyway, I was very eager
to get here,

494
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:51,480
because I have
your precious list,

495
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,880
and I'll have you
know I've already ticked

496
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,440
two things off.

497
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,280
- Really?
- Don't act so surprised.

498
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,200
I'm a very good student,
you know.

499
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,120
All right.
Well, let's hear it, then.

500
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:03,280
Okay, firstly...

501
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,960
I'll admit the cherry soda
was excellent.

502
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,200
Very good.

503
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:08,960
The jury's still out
on the goldfish.

504
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,200
They don't do much.

505
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:13,040
Well, when it comes
to goldfish,

506
00:24:13,040 --> 00:24:15,080
I'd lower
my expectations.

507
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:17,600
Good start.

508
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:23,200
Maybe if we can focus
on some of these other things.

509
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,600
Carrie.

510
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,960
What's so great
about being happy anyway?

511
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:34,480
There are some
brilliant unhappy people.

512
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,040
Kierkegaard, Beethoven,

513
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,120
Van Gough...

514
00:24:39,120 --> 00:24:40,680
Morrissey!

515
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:44,120
Anyway,
I'm not unhappy.

516
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:45,840
You'd be
a lot more convincing

517
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:47,760
if you could look at me
when you say that.

518
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,440
One of these days,
you should decide

519
00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,120
you're going to let someone
get to know you.

520
00:24:57,120 --> 00:25:01,160
You can start
by trusting me.

521
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,600
Don't you think

522
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:03,920
that real companionship
would help?

523
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:05,400
What about going
on a date?

524
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,040
Any more thoughts
about that?

525
00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,040
Why does everyone act
like sex is this magical,

526
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,240
happiness cure-all?

527
00:25:11,240 --> 00:25:12,480
I didn't say anything
about sex.

528
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:13,600
Well, then,
you're the only one,

529
00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:14,880
because it seems
to be the only thing

530
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,560
anyone talks about.

531
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,080
Who's anyone?

532
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,560
Well, people at work,
people I overhear in cafes.

533
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,880
That weird little perv
who was in here just now,

534
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,400
talking about
his disappearing penis.

535
00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:27,640
Please, leave him
out of this.

536
00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:29,920
Why can't I go into
a grocery store

537
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,360
without being
accosted by headlines

538
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,800
claiming 101 ways
to have an orgasm.

539
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:37,840
Wouldn't 50 three-ways
be sufficient?

540
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,360
Wouldn't-- wouldn't one?

541
00:25:39,360 --> 00:25:43,240
Well, it's true that sex
is a big part of adult life.

542
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:44,640
If it weren't,
the human population

543
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:45,600
would die out.

544
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:46,680
But it doesn't mean

545
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,000
that everyone
is sex obsessed.

546
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:49,720
It may seem
like that to you now,

547
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:51,240
but I would gather
that if you were older

548
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,520
and had more experience,
it wouldn't seem as glaring.

549
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:55,800
What makes you think

550
00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,840
that I'm not
sexually experienced?

551
00:25:57,840 --> 00:26:00,360
Are you?

552
00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:01,880
I can have opinions

553
00:26:01,880 --> 00:26:05,240
regardless of whether
I myself have had sex.

554
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,160
True,
but it's hard to comment

555
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,200
on what it's like
to fly in an airplane

556
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,960
if you've never been
off the ground.

557
00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,600
However,
if you have had
sexual experiences,

558
00:26:16,600 --> 00:26:17,640
and you want
to discuss them--

559
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,480
No thanks.
Ew.

560
00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:23,480
Anyway, you can't just
go on a date.

561
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,160
You have to be asked.

562
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,680
Not necessarily.

563
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:30,400
I refuse to troll
the Internet for a date.

564
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:32,440
I don't know,
You just might end up

565
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,040
having the most fun
you've ever had.

566
00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,520
Or I 'll end up
locked in a crate

567
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:37,760
and shipped overseas

568
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,400
to be
a Saudi prince's sex slave.

569
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,400
My guess is
it'll probably end up

570
00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:43,160
being somewhere
in between the two.

571
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:51,200
"Single male
seeks adventurous woman

572
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:53,840
into hiking..."
Blah, blah.

573
00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:57,760
"Single male, 76."

574
00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,320
No.

575
00:26:59,360 --> 00:27:04,760
"Single white male,
engaged and confused.

576
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,120
Due to be married,
but want to test

577
00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,720
the waters first."

578
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,120
( scoffs )

579
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:14,520
That has to be the most
inappropriate ad ever posted.

580
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:16,640
All right.
( clears throat )

581
00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,920
( dialing )

582
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,080
I do not need
to be judged by you

583
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:22,120
right now, Katherine.

584
00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,760
Petrov said,
"Go on a date."

585
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,360
He didn't say it couldn't be
to rat out a cheat.

586
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:31,960
I could find out
the name of his fiancée

587
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:33,640
and warn her. Huh?

588
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,480
Kill two birds
with one stone.

589
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,720
Cross off the list,

590
00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:39,040
and catch a hypocrite
in the act.

591
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:40,520
( dials )

592
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:42,160
( phone rings )

593
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,640
Shh.
It's ringing.

594
00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,080
( ringing continues )

595
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:47,520
Man on recording:
Hello, this is Matt.

596
00:27:47,520 --> 00:27:49,560
Please leave a message.

597
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,880
( beeps )

598
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,640
Hi, Matt.

599
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:56,640
You sound
really, really cute.

600
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:59,640
I sympathize
fully with your situation.

601
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,520
I'm dating
this great guy,

602
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:03,920
but there's
just no chemistry

603
00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:05,760
and I wanna see
if I'm right.

604
00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,000
When I saw your ad,
I thought, well,

605
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,360
this could be discreet way
to find out.

606
00:28:10,360 --> 00:28:11,320
Like you said.

607
00:28:11,360 --> 00:28:14,400
My name is...

608
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:18,400
Gloria Patch.

609
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,000
Gloria Patch.

610
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,160
( mouthing words )
What?

611
00:28:21,160 --> 00:28:23,240
Are last names
even allowed?

612
00:28:23,240 --> 00:28:24,720
Maybe that wasn't
so discreet.

613
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,200
So yeah,
just Gloria.

614
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:28,760
Call me
and we'll go on a date.

615
00:28:28,800 --> 00:28:30,240
Bye!

616
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,360
Okay, that went well.

617
00:28:34,360 --> 00:28:36,160
Thanks for the support.

618
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:40,240
What do you mean
I didn't leave my number?

619
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,960
Damn it!

620
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:43,960
( phone ringing )

621
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,440
Hello?

622
00:28:53,440 --> 00:28:54,920
Matt:
Is-- is that Gloria?

623
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,000
Who?

624
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:58,720
Oh, yes.
Yes, it is.

625
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,960
This is Matt,
you just called me?

626
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:02,960
So I did.

627
00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:04,960
But I didn't leave
my number.

628
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,040
Oh, it came up
on my phone.

629
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:10,600
Oh, cool.

630
00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,880
You sound really great.

631
00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:14,800
- Thanks.
-  So...

632
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:20,480
would you like to meet
somewhere or something?

633
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:21,800
Sure.

634
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,360
How about 12:30

635
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,760
at Añejo on 28th?

636
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:30,360
It's very nice,
very atmospheric

637
00:29:30,400 --> 00:29:32,160
and very public.

638
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:34,400
Well, I don't want
too public.

639
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:35,880
No, no.
Of course.

640
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,760
Well, it's not so public
that you would be outed,

641
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,320
but public enough
that you wouldn't be able

642
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:41,960
to kill me
without witnesses.

643
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:45,040
Okay. Okay, well,
that sounds good.

644
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:48,040
Okay, great, bye.

645
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,800
What does one wear
to expose a cheater?

646
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,400
Not that.

647
00:29:57,400 --> 00:29:59,040
( gasps )
Jesus!

648
00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,600
You scared
the crap out of me.

649
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:03,120
How long have you
been standing there?

650
00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,360
No time at all.
I was just about to knock.

651
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,040
Look, I just wanted
to apologize

652
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,120
about what I said
the other day

653
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:10,560
about you not
being relaxed.

654
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,600
You're right,
I don't know you

655
00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:15,840
and I shouldn't have
judged.

656
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:17,680
I'm Cy.

657
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,800
Okay, well,
apology accepted, I guess.

658
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:22,200
Carrie.

659
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:24,720
I thought maybe
I could invite you

660
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:25,800
to dinner or something.

661
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,000
- What for?
- I don't know,

662
00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:27,960
I thought it might be fun.

663
00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,320
- Fun?
- Yeah, fun.

664
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,880
You've heard
of the concept?

665
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:32,920
I'm familiar
with it, yeah.

666
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:35,400
One of the things
that people do

667
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,840
and they indulge in it
to divert themselves

668
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,960
from the true realities
of existence.

669
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:41,520
Well, look--

670
00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:43,120
If you ever feel like
leaving your apartment--

671
00:30:43,120 --> 00:30:45,760
- Just--
- What the hell is that
supposed to mean?

672
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:47,120
Nothing, just--

673
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:48,840
You have a reputation
around here

674
00:30:48,840 --> 00:30:51,120
for being a bit
of a hermit.

675
00:30:51,120 --> 00:30:52,560
Is that right?

676
00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:53,920
Well, if you don't mind,

677
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,680
I'm actually just going
now to meet someone.

678
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:57,120
A male someone.

679
00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,640
See how I'm leaving
the apartment?

680
00:30:59,640 --> 00:31:00,800
I see, yeah.

681
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,040
You might want
to spread the word.

682
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,280
Oh, I'll definitely
do that.

683
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:04,200
Good.

684
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:06,720
And Carrie--

685
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,840
got some lipstick
on your teeth.

686
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,480
( scoffs )

687
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:15,320
I hate it
when that happens.

688
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,080
Hey, party of one?

689
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,280
No, actually, two.
I'm meeting someone.

690
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:31,200
Really?
Like, a man?

691
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:33,800
Yeah, a man.

692
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:34,880
Okay, cool.

693
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,400
Just look around
and see if he's here.

694
00:31:36,400 --> 00:31:41,560
Well, I haven't actually
met him before.

695
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:43,240
I see.

696
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:46,080
But I know his name.
It's Matt.

697
00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,200
Matt.

698
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:49,800
Yeah, I think
I know who he is.

699
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:54,760
- Uh, um--
- Gloria--

700
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,960
Sorry.

701
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:56,920
That's okay.

702
00:31:58,720 --> 00:31:59,920
( chuckles )

703
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,640
There.

704
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,800
- Hi.
- Hi.

705
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,480
Hi.

706
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,040
( clears throat )

707
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,560
Wow.

708
00:32:13,600 --> 00:32:16,920
You're just, uh...

709
00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:22,080
You're much more beautiful
than I had expected.

710
00:32:22,080 --> 00:32:23,920
Am I?

711
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,600
Yeah, I thought
I would only get

712
00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:27,000
desperate ogresses

713
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,120
applying to an ad
in the "Village Rag,"

714
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,160
let alone a woman
who's into literature.

715
00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,320
How did you know
I'm into literature?

716
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:34,680
Gloria Patch...

717
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:38,040
from Fitzgerald's
underrated masterpiece,

718
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,360
"The Beautiful
and the Damned"?

719
00:32:41,360 --> 00:32:43,000
Okay.

720
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,920
I'm a massive geek, sorry.

721
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:48,480
Oh, don't be sorry.
You won't beat me for geekdom.

722
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:50,960
I'll take that challenge.

723
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:52,320
- You're on.
- Okay.

724
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:55,360
Should we order
some drinks?

725
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:59,680
I'll just stick to water.
Not to be a spoilsport.

726
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,440
No, actually,
I don't drink either.

727
00:33:03,440 --> 00:33:05,080
I never saw
the point of it.

728
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,400
Oh, well, in my case,
it would be illegal.

729
00:33:07,400 --> 00:33:11,800
Really?
How-- how old are you?

730
00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,800
- Nineteen.
- Wow.

731
00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,480
So, you--
you're a student?

732
00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,840
Ex. I graduated
Harvard last year.

733
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,640
No way,
I went to M.I.T.

734
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:23,560
- Did you?
- Mathematics.

735
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,600
Hang on,
so you must have been 18

736
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:26,760
when you graduated?

737
00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,880
That math degree
came in handy, huh?

738
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,400
Well, that was a little thing
called subtraction.

739
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,120
Have you guys decided?

740
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,720
I'll just--
a quesadilla with water.

741
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,880
And I'll have a diet Coke
and a cheese enchilada.

742
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:44,800
Great.
I'll take your menus.

743
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,880
Coming up.

744
00:33:46,880 --> 00:33:48,520
A diet Coke?

745
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:50,720
Yeah, I'm just trying

746
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,600
to keep the weight off
before the...

747
00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,000
Yeah, so, I'm surprised

748
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,680
that someone from Harvard
reads the personals.

749
00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:03,720
How else
should I find a man?

750
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,080
Wait for our eyes
to meet

751
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,480
while trying to solve
Fermat's theorem?

752
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:10,320
Well, Fermat's
was already solved in 1994.

753
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:12,200
Well, one nil to you.

754
00:34:12,200 --> 00:34:13,080
( chuckles )

755
00:34:13,120 --> 00:34:14,880
- Asshat.
- Shit for brains.

756
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,560
Woman:
Dwayne, Joshua...

757
00:34:17,560 --> 00:34:19,920
I just used
to get called dork.

758
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,480
We actually had a kid
whose last name was Dork.

759
00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,360
But it didn't
really hurt him, though.

760
00:34:24,360 --> 00:34:26,240
He was way
too good-looking.

761
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:29,440
Well, luckily, he didn't have
a first name like Dick.

762
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:32,240
It was Dick,
his first name.

763
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:35,040
Dick Dork was a person's name
that you knew?

764
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:36,920
- Dick Dork.
- Well, I'm gonna have to come
to your apartment

765
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,120
and look at your yearbooks

766
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,320
to make sure
you're not lying to me.

767
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:41,280
Oh, yeah?

768
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:42,600
Yeah.

769
00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:45,760
Was it just me
or did you find

770
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,560
everyone in high school
stultifying?

771
00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,320
Yes, in fact
if you used that word,

772
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,800
"stultifying,"
in front of them,

773
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,120
they would have shouted
SAT word!

774
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:55,240
- SAT word!
- Yes.

775
00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:57,240
- I remember that.
- Yeah?

776
00:34:57,240 --> 00:35:00,280
And the teachers
were lousy too.

777
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:01,560
Well, actually,

778
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,240
two of them
are coming to my wedding.

779
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,840
( clears throat )

780
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:11,240
What are you doing?

781
00:35:11,240 --> 00:35:12,400
Oh, nothing,
I was just playing

782
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:13,880
- with my napkin--
- No, no, no.

783
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,400
What are you doing here?
I mean, what's with the ad?

784
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,440
Oh, uh...

785
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:26,480
My fiancée
and I got together

786
00:35:26,480 --> 00:35:28,200
when we were
really young,

787
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:29,440
and I love her.

788
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,720
I do, but I--

789
00:35:33,360 --> 00:35:35,360
I just sometimes think
something's missing,

790
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:40,000
and I don't wanna do
the wrong thing,

791
00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:45,760
so I'm just
looking for clarity.

792
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:47,960
Does that make any sense

793
00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000
or do I just sound like
a total dick?

794
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,680
The two aren't necessarily
mutually exclusive.

795
00:35:52,680 --> 00:35:54,360
When's the big day?

796
00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,080
February 4th.

797
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:58,160
Oh, excuse me!

798
00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,200
Hey!

799
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,280
( coughs )
I'm choking!

800
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,840
Oh, I thought
you didn't drink.

801
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,000
and I thought
you'd be a creep.

802
00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,320
Would that have helped?

803
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,880
Frankly, yes.

804
00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:13,520
I came here with the intention
of exposing you.

805
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:15,480
What do you mean?

806
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,000
I read your ad,

807
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,920
and as a member
of the female gender

808
00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:22,280
and people
with integrity everywhere,

809
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,640
it pissed me off.

810
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,920
So, I thought
I'd make a date with you,

811
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:27,400
find out about
your girlfriend,

812
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,440
and then tell her
she's about to marry a cheat.

813
00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,040
- Oh, my God.
- What do you expect?

814
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,480
You're getting married
in two months,

815
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:34,520
you're trying to meet girls
in classified ads.

816
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,760
- That--
- I thought I'd find
a narcissistic rat bag,

817
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:41,520
not some handsome,
charming, smart--

818
00:36:41,520 --> 00:36:43,480
you need to be
honest with her.

819
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:46,400
I know, I know.
You're right and I--

820
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,720
I just want
to be clear about

821
00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,320
how I'm feeling
before I do that.

822
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,240
Are you clearer now?

823
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,360
No.

824
00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:02,960
Well, I'm glad
to have helped.

825
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:07,800
Good luck
with the nuptials...

826
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:10,040
I guess.

827
00:37:10,040 --> 00:37:11,440
Or not.

828
00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:16,880
Woman:
Oh, yeah.

829
00:37:16,880 --> 00:37:18,120
You liked him,
didn't you?

830
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,120
Whether I did or not
is irrelevant.

831
00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:22,200
He's engaged.
And that is that.

832
00:37:22,240 --> 00:37:24,920
You should definitely
see him again.

833
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,400
What is it about
the word engaged

834
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:30,000
- that you don't get?
- He's not even married yet.

835
00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:30,920
What's the problem?

836
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,880
Even if he were married,
who cares?

837
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:33,840
I care!

838
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:34,800
I try very hard

839
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,400
not to be engaged
in activities

840
00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,240
that are harmful
to myself or others.

841
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:40,080
Okay, you don't think
it's gonna hurt you

842
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,840
to not get to hang out
with someone you like?

843
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,000
You don't think
it hurts to deny yourself

844
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:46,560
the possibility of love?

845
00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:50,640
Okay, next time
you see Matt,

846
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:52,400
ask him
his fiancée's middle name.

847
00:37:52,400 --> 00:37:55,160
There won't be
a next time.

848
00:37:55,200 --> 00:37:56,400
Why?

849
00:37:56,400 --> 00:37:58,400
Because guys
don't usually

850
00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:00,080
pay attention
to details like that.

851
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:03,160
But if they're in love,
they do.

852
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:05,240
They've been
together forever,

853
00:38:05,240 --> 00:38:06,760
of course he's gonna know
her middle name.

854
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,320
So, it's a good test
then, isn't it?

855
00:38:08,320 --> 00:38:11,080
And if he doesn't know it,
I'd say he's fair game.

856
00:38:11,080 --> 00:38:14,200
Yo, yo, yo.
What's up?

857
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:15,960
What are you guys--
what are you talking about?

858
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,200
Oh, you know,
clothes, makeup, boys.

859
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:20,800
Hmm.
Sorry I missed that.

860
00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:25,520
So, are you going to see
the legend tomorrow night?

861
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:26,800
Who?

862
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:31,960
My recently ex-boyfriend
is playing a gig at Natto's.

863
00:38:31,960 --> 00:38:33,920
Why is he your ex?

864
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,760
Because he chose
to go off with some whore,

865
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:38,040
that's why.

866
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,160
And she is so not
his type.

867
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,880
Yeah, he much prefers sluts
to whores.

868
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:46,440
What's his name?

869
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,920
His name is Dex
and he's a jerk.

870
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:52,160
But he's amazing.

871
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,160
Like, his tongue
should be registered

872
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,320
as a national treasure.

873
00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,400
( chokes )

874
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,880
Hey, you should come.

875
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:00,640
Douglas:
You-- you should totally go.

876
00:39:00,640 --> 00:39:03,680
Sure, why not?

877
00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,640
Hey,
that's my philosophy too.

878
00:39:07,680 --> 00:39:09,640
Thank you so much
for going.

879
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:12,680
I cannot watch
another Dex show.

880
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:17,160
♪ Never really
felt bad about it ♪

881
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:21,840
♪ As we drank deep
from the lie ♪

882
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,600
♪ 'Cause I felt
melting magnets... ♪

883
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:26,560
Uh, hi.
Vodka, straight up.

884
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,640
Actually,
what's the one

885
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:29,920
all
the sorority girls drink,

886
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,320
the one that makes
you really drunk?

887
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,600
- Oh, rum.
- Rum, double.

888
00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:34,600
I.D.?

889
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:37,480
Can I-- can I give you
my I.Q. instead?

890
00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:38,560
185?

891
00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,240
Surely I can be
better trusted with alcohol

892
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,360
than older,
less intelligent people.

893
00:39:42,360 --> 00:39:43,520
Are you 21?

894
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,920
Alcohol
is an organic compound

895
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,000
in which the hydroxyl group
is bound to a carbon atom

896
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:50,760
so that the chemical makeup
of the ethanol

897
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,080
in your slightly
toxic wares

898
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,080
is C2H 5OH.

899
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:55,360
I think I can handle it.

900
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:59,240
- Hey, just lie.
- I'm not a liar.

901
00:39:59,240 --> 00:40:00,640
Well, he's not going
to give you a drink

902
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:01,840
unless you do.

903
00:40:01,840 --> 00:40:04,240
Well, you know what?
Morality is inconvenient.

904
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,160
Coke, please.
Regular, not that diet shit.

905
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:09,360
Okay,
you're feisty tonight.

906
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:10,440
I like it.

907
00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:11,720
But at least let me,
like...

908
00:40:11,720 --> 00:40:13,120
- ( muttering )
- Wait, can--

909
00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:16,480
Why can't people
just like me for who I am?

910
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:18,520
Nobody likes anybody
for who they are.

911
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:20,160
That's why
we have to pretend

912
00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,600
to be better
than who we are

913
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:23,600
and then let people
find out the truth later,

914
00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:25,240
you know,
once they've already invested.

915
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:26,840
That makes you
sound like a psychopath.

916
00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:29,160
Okay, well--

917
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:30,720
Mm. It's spiked.

918
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:33,400
Wow, looks like
she is a genius.

919
00:40:33,440 --> 00:40:37,000
Finally,
the recognition
I've been craving.

920
00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,680
Maybe--
maybe that was a move.

921
00:40:39,680 --> 00:40:42,720
I don't get why people
are so sex obsessed.

922
00:40:42,720 --> 00:40:44,200
It's like
a national epidemic.

923
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,160
Because sex
is freaking fantastic.

924
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:48,720
It's not that great.

925
00:40:48,720 --> 00:40:51,200
The kissing part maybe,
but the main event

926
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:52,600
is nothing to be
obsessed about.

927
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:53,760
Yes, I win!

928
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,120
I knew you
weren't a virgin.

929
00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:56,360
What do you mean
"you win"?

930
00:40:56,360 --> 00:40:59,040
- Win what?
- Just a bet with Dougie.

931
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,800
About my virginity?

932
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,600
It's not about your virginity,
okay?

933
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:04,800
I made some money.
Be happy for me.

934
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,960
Your problem is
you haven't had sex
with the right person.

935
00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,760
There's a lot
of good, clean sex
going on out there.

936
00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:13,520
And by clean,
I mean dirty, okay?

937
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,560
And just because people
like to do it,

938
00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,240
doesn't mean
that they're obsessed.

939
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,040
Do you think people
are sleep obsessed

940
00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:20,960
because they like
to sleep every day?

941
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,920
You have to sleep
for survival.

942
00:41:22,920 --> 00:41:25,200
Some people
screw for survival!

943
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,480
Sleep obsession
doesn't hurt anyone!

944
00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,720
Neither does sex,

945
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:31,440
if it's between
two consenting adults.

946
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,080
The Victorians
forced people

947
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,520
to deny
their natural desires--

948
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:39,360
Shouldn't our natural desires
sometimes be denied?

949
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,280
Like, what if
your natural desire

950
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:43,440
is to step on a baby?

951
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:46,360
Okay, yeah,
you-- you have a point.

952
00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:49,040
- Like, stepping on babies...
- Bad!

953
00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:50,680
...should be avoided
at all costs.

954
00:41:50,720 --> 00:41:53,760
I just think
that people make
an awful lot of excuses

955
00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:55,560
to indulge
in bad behavior

956
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,000
on the pretext that
"I wanted to do it,"

957
00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:01,120
or "if we're discreet,
it won't hurt anyone."

958
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:02,840
Humans are hypocrites.

959
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:06,440
And that's what makes us
so bloody interesting.

960
00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,600
( chuckles )

961
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,120
What language was that?

962
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,520
That's how you speak.
That's how you come off.

963
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:14,240
You should know that
about yourself.

964
00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,600
Oh, my God.
What is this?

965
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:22,200
Is this a bucket list?

966
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,560
You aren't dying,
are you?

967
00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,520
Because I do not have
the emotional maturity

968
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,320
to deal with
a terminal friend right now.

969
00:42:28,320 --> 00:42:30,080
It's not a bucket list.

970
00:42:30,080 --> 00:42:32,080
Then what is it?

971
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,840
I see a therapist.

972
00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:38,200
He made it for me
to help me be happier.

973
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,480
Oh, honey, you don't need
a list for that.

974
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:41,920
I'll help you.

975
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:43,520
Okay, I'm having
a New Year's Eve Party,

976
00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:44,480
for one thing.

977
00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:45,920
You should definitely come.

978
00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:49,240
Also, you should call up
that bad boy from the paper

979
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,000
and give him
the bang of his life.

980
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:52,320
He'll leave that twit
he's with,

981
00:42:52,320 --> 00:42:53,760
and you'll never be
lonely again.

982
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:54,840
Do you seriously
think that?

983
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:56,080
It's not your job

984
00:42:56,080 --> 00:42:58,120
to be
everyone's moral guardian.

985
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,200
If you like the guy,
that's between you and him.

986
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:03,440
- ( feedback buzzes )
- He's the one
with the fiancée.

987
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:05,040
That's for him
to deal with.

988
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,160
Not you.

989
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,080
Ooh, there he is.
Okay, okay.

990
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:10,240
Do they say, like,

991
00:43:10,240 --> 00:43:12,920
"Get off the stage
and do me?"

992
00:43:12,960 --> 00:43:15,320
Yes, but not
in a good way.

993
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,800
How can it not be
in a good way?

994
00:43:17,800 --> 00:43:19,600
( playing guitar )

995
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:20,600
( audience cheers )

996
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,880
Dex, I love you,
you asshole!

997
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,080
( punk music playing )

998
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:28,480
I have to go.

999
00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:30,560
I know!
He's so good, right?

1000
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,000
( Dex singing )
♪ I put my foot down

1001
00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:33,600
♪ And I stomp
on the pavement ♪

1002
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,280
♪ I'm a wire
through a plaster wall. ♪

1003
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,640
( music continues )

1004
00:44:22,480 --> 00:44:25,080
Professor Harrison:
What are you
thinking about?

1005
00:44:25,080 --> 00:44:28,120
How even
if I started now,

1006
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:31,160
and dedicated
my life to reading,

1007
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:32,840
I wouldn't get
through a fraction

1008
00:44:32,840 --> 00:44:35,080
of all of the books
ever written.

1009
00:44:35,080 --> 00:44:37,240
You fascinate me,
Carrie Pilby,

1010
00:44:37,240 --> 00:44:40,040
you know that?

1011
00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:43,240
I find you completely
and utterly enchanting.

1012
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,720
Why thank you,

1013
00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:51,400
professor from a 1950s
black and white movie.

1014
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:54,880
And so...

1015
00:44:54,880 --> 00:44:57,280
You know when I say things
like that--

1016
00:44:57,280 --> 00:44:58,280
you're brilliant,

1017
00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:02,720
or that I think
you're beautiful,

1018
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:06,560
it's because
I really mean that.

1019
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,560
I'm not trying
to flatter you.

1020
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:11,600
What's your favorite version
of Faust?

1021
00:45:11,600 --> 00:45:13,240
Don't change the subject.

1022
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:16,560
- No?
- No.

1023
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,760
♪ Come with me

1024
00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:25,240
♪ Come and see

1025
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,880
♪ The chill,
the hush and glimmering ♪

1026
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,520
♪ Of green
the mountain stream... ♪

1027
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:34,040
What is this?
I've never heard it before.

1028
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:35,760
You have
an insatiable appetite

1029
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:36,520
for learning.

1030
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:43,000
Yeah, sorry about that.

1031
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:44,320
Don't be.

1032
00:45:46,240 --> 00:45:51,240
♪ Under the moon
so round ♪

1033
00:45:52,320 --> 00:45:56,680
♪ The moon so round

1034
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:02,520
♪ Anyway

1035
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:06,840
♪ There's really
not that much to say ♪

1036
00:46:06,880 --> 00:46:11,440
♪ It's just another day

1037
00:46:11,440 --> 00:46:15,680
♪ There's really
not that much to say ♪

1038
00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:20,720
♪ It's just another day

1039
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:24,320
♪ There's really
not that much to say ♪

1040
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,720
♪ It's just
another day... ♪

1041
00:46:27,720 --> 00:46:29,520
Wait here, one minute.

1042
00:46:29,520 --> 00:46:33,640
♪ There's really
not that much to say ♪

1043
00:46:33,640 --> 00:46:37,880
♪ It's just
another day. ♪

1044
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,680
( dialing )

1045
00:46:52,640 --> 00:46:54,600
( beeping )

1046
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:57,920
Dad, he's cheating.

1047
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,960
You know your friend
you hired to try and fix me,

1048
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:02,360
well, he's doing it
with a married woman.

1049
00:47:02,400 --> 00:47:03,840
Woman:
Hello, Carrie.

1050
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:07,120
Your father just stepped away
for a moment.

1051
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:09,040
Sorry, who's this?

1052
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,120
I thought
I called my dad.

1053
00:47:10,120 --> 00:47:11,920
No, you did,
you did.

1054
00:47:11,920 --> 00:47:12,960
Then who are you?

1055
00:47:12,960 --> 00:47:14,160
Oh, dear, I probably

1056
00:47:14,160 --> 00:47:15,480
should not have
picked up the phone.

1057
00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,320
This wasn't how
I wanted us to meet.

1058
00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,160
But I did want
to let you know

1059
00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:20,640
how excited I am
that you'll be

1060
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,560
joining us here
for Christmas.

1061
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:24,000
The kids
are practically wild

1062
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:25,160
with anticipation--

1063
00:47:25,160 --> 00:47:26,400
The kids?

1064
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:27,920
- What?
- Woman: Oh, Daniel,

1065
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:30,400
please tell me
you have told her about us.

1066
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:31,640
Carrie:
Told me what?

1067
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:32,960
Oh, God.

1068
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,400
Hello, darling.

1069
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:38,440
- What's the matter?
- Told me what?

1070
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:39,880
What haven't you told me
that this woman

1071
00:47:39,880 --> 00:47:41,800
and her children know
that I don't...

1072
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:44,280
apart from that
you're not coming
to New York for Christmas!

1073
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:48,000
Well, it was meant
to be a surprise, darling.

1074
00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,440
I've got the ticket
so that you could come here.

1075
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,160
To London?

1076
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,640
But that's
a shit surprise.

1077
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:54,800
You know
I hate London.

1078
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,360
And anyway,
you promised

1079
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:57,400
we'd always have
Christmas here

1080
00:47:57,400 --> 00:47:58,720
in New York.

1081
00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:00,240
You know, darling,
life doesn't always

1082
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:02,640
work out as we--
as we plan it.

1083
00:48:02,640 --> 00:48:04,400
We have to adapt.

1084
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:05,440
But why?

1085
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:06,960
And when were
you gonna tell me?

1086
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:09,120
And when are you
ever gonna stop lying?

1087
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,000
I thought it was
too long a conversation

1088
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,880
to have on the phone,
and so I decided

1089
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:15,640
- I'll wait till you--
-  And then what?

1090
00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:17,480
When exactly was
the perfect time to tell me

1091
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:19,320
that you're abandoning
our Christmas tradition

1092
00:48:19,320 --> 00:48:21,000
because of some woman
you're shagging,

1093
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,400
and her kids are obviously
more important.

1094
00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:26,800
Now, Carrie,
that is not the way it is.

1095
00:48:26,800 --> 00:48:29,480
Matter of fact,
Fliss and I

1096
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:30,720
are going to be married.

1097
00:48:32,800 --> 00:48:34,920
I'm sorry,
it sounded like

1098
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:36,280
you just said
you were getting married.

1099
00:48:36,320 --> 00:48:37,280
I did.

1100
00:48:37,280 --> 00:48:39,080
I am.

1101
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:40,280
We are.

1102
00:48:40,280 --> 00:48:41,880
So,
when you come over,

1103
00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,240
we can have a long luncheon,
talk everything through,

1104
00:48:44,240 --> 00:48:46,440
and I'll explain
all to you.

1105
00:48:46,440 --> 00:48:49,440
You get to meet Fliss.

1106
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:51,440
I don't want
to meet Fliss.

1107
00:48:51,440 --> 00:48:53,920
( stammering )
Darling...

1108
00:48:53,920 --> 00:48:56,080
we can sort this out--

1109
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:57,440
Go sort yourself!

1110
00:49:05,920 --> 00:49:08,440
( ringtone plays )

1111
00:49:12,760 --> 00:49:15,400
( phone rings )

1112
00:49:17,720 --> 00:49:19,200
( clatters )

1113
00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:27,080
( knocking on door )

1114
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,120
Hi.

1115
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,120
I can't believe
you called.

1116
00:49:35,120 --> 00:49:36,320
Neither can I.

1117
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:37,800
- Allow me.
- Oh.

1118
00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:40,080
- I'm glad you did.
- Mm.

1119
00:49:40,080 --> 00:49:42,040
Thank you.

1120
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:43,760
♪ Bring me back

1121
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,400
♪ Bring me back
to you... ♪

1122
00:49:47,400 --> 00:49:48,680
This is a nice place.

1123
00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,960
Ah, thanks.

1124
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,160
Can I get you
something to--

1125
00:49:53,160 --> 00:49:55,560
Where is she?

1126
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,160
She's at a meeting
in Westchester

1127
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:01,160
with some guy at Craft.

1128
00:50:01,160 --> 00:50:03,280
She opened
her own advertising firm

1129
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:06,800
and he is a friend
of her dad's,

1130
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,080
so she thinks
he might throw her a bone.

1131
00:50:09,080 --> 00:50:10,840
Is that a euphemism?

1132
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,880
What? Oh, God, no!

1133
00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:16,640
What if he did
throw her a bone?

1134
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,800
Would you--
would you be upset?

1135
00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:23,480
Maybe.

1136
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,880
I mean, I'm not sure...

1137
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:30,520
♪ ...taking ahold

1138
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:31,840
♪ Brings me back

1139
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:36,000
♪ Brings me back
to you... ♪

1140
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:40,400
So, are we doing this,
then?

1141
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,000
We do seem to be, yeah.

1142
00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:45,600
♪ Wanna be
your man, girl ♪

1143
00:50:48,160 --> 00:50:53,680
♪ Wanna be
your man, girl... ♪

1144
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:55,640
Mmm-hmm.

1145
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:57,320
( chuckles )

1146
00:51:01,440 --> 00:51:04,840
♪ Every time
that I leave ♪

1147
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:07,920
♪ I'm chasing
the wind... ♪

1148
00:51:07,920 --> 00:51:11,200
It's a great bookcase.

1149
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:13,240
Yup.

1150
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:16,760
That's where we keep
all the books.

1151
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:19,400
♪ ...taking ahold

1152
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:20,920
♪ Brings me back

1153
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,560
♪ Brings me back
to you ♪

1154
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:27,160
♪ Wanna be
your man, girl ♪

1155
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,400
Wow, where did you even learn
how to kiss like that?

1156
00:51:30,400 --> 00:51:31,760
Harvard.

1157
00:51:31,760 --> 00:51:35,560
Damn, I don't think
M.I.T. had that course.

1158
00:51:35,560 --> 00:51:37,800
- You're doing okay.
- Okay.

1159
00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:40,200
♪ Wanna be your man

1160
00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,000
♪ Oh, love

1161
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,960
♪ I wanna be
your man ♪

1162
00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:46,520
♪ Your man

1163
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,600
♪ Your man

1164
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:50,360
♪ Oh, do you...

1165
00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:51,360
( laughs )

1166
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:52,840
Is this--

1167
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:55,680
is this your first time
unbuttoning a girl's shirt?

1168
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,240
No, but it's my first time

1169
00:51:57,240 --> 00:51:59,600
unbuttoning a man's shirt
from this angle.

1170
00:51:59,600 --> 00:52:03,640
I'm actually wearing
a guy's shirt?

1171
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,360
I believe so, yeah.

1172
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,360
- How can you tell?
- The buttons.

1173
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:09,160
Buttons on the left
for a woman,

1174
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,360
buttons on the right
for men.

1175
00:52:10,360 --> 00:52:11,400
Look.

1176
00:52:11,400 --> 00:52:14,240
- Oh... my God,
- Watch this.

1177
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,200
how did I not
know this?

1178
00:52:15,200 --> 00:52:16,200
( chuckles )

1179
00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:17,920
See?
You can't see,

1180
00:52:17,920 --> 00:52:19,160
but I had my eyes closed
for second.

1181
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:20,600
( laughs )

1182
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:45,640
- Um--
- What?

1183
00:52:45,640 --> 00:52:48,400
- What's the matter?
- Is that her?

1184
00:52:49,640 --> 00:52:51,640
Yes, it is.

1185
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:54,240
She's watching us.

1186
00:52:54,240 --> 00:52:56,440
No, no she isn't.
It's just a photo.

1187
00:52:56,480 --> 00:52:57,440
It's just a photo.

1188
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:58,840
♪ Stand by me

1189
00:52:58,840 --> 00:53:01,840
♪ And we're perfect

1190
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,480
♪ Just like you...

1191
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,560
Wait, stop.

1192
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,240
She spelled "too" wrong.

1193
00:53:08,240 --> 00:53:10,920
♪ You make me
so happy... ♪

1194
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:12,520
Uh--

1195
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:16,360
Yeah...

1196
00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:19,040
Yeah,
she's a terrible speller.

1197
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:20,360
Let's--
why don't we

1198
00:53:20,360 --> 00:53:24,040
just close our eyes
and just try to relax?

1199
00:53:24,040 --> 00:53:25,400
Okay?

1200
00:53:26,840 --> 00:53:29,000
Oh-- I--
I feel dizzy.

1201
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:30,240
Okay.

1202
00:53:32,760 --> 00:53:34,920
I knew we shouldn't have tried
to do this at my place.

1203
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:39,840
All the photos and stuff
are a real mood killer.

1204
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,480
You know what else
is a mood killer?

1205
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,960
Having a fiancée.

1206
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:53,680
Get-- my--
( mumbles )

1207
00:53:53,680 --> 00:53:55,440
How are you going
to say vows,

1208
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:57,080
sacred vows
in front of everyone you know,

1209
00:53:57,080 --> 00:54:00,240
that you will honor and love
and cherish this woman,

1210
00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:01,600
forsaking all others,

1211
00:54:01,600 --> 00:54:04,040
when you clearly
don't respect her,

1212
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:07,400
which is the foundation
of all of those things?

1213
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:09,960
You're not going
to leave her, are you?

1214
00:54:09,960 --> 00:54:12,600
I--
I really like you.

1215
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,680
I really think
we could be good together.

1216
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:18,560
You deserve
to be stimulated by someone

1217
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,640
who's on equal footing
with you, and so do I.

1218
00:54:20,640 --> 00:54:23,120
Then end this facade
of an engagement.

1219
00:54:23,120 --> 00:54:25,040
I will!

1220
00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:26,840
I mean, you know,
I might.

1221
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:27,960
I just met you!

1222
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,520
Not for me!
For you, for her!

1223
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:35,120
Look, I thought
that you wanted this.

1224
00:54:35,120 --> 00:54:36,840
Just because
you want something,

1225
00:54:36,840 --> 00:54:39,080
doesn't make it right.

1226
00:54:39,080 --> 00:54:40,960
Oh, Jesus, Pollyanna.

1227
00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,120
This is real life.

1228
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:44,040
Real life
is complicated.

1229
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,560
Don't be such a child.

1230
00:54:51,080 --> 00:54:52,320
Professor Harrison:
I think this has been

1231
00:54:52,320 --> 00:54:53,520
my best semester ever,
Carrie.

1232
00:54:54,640 --> 00:54:56,800
Me too.

1233
00:54:56,800 --> 00:54:59,720
Oh, I forgot,
I have something for you.

1234
00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:01,400
Oh, yeah?

1235
00:55:01,400 --> 00:55:02,600
Mmm-hmm.

1236
00:55:02,600 --> 00:55:03,840
It's um--

1237
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,560
it's more of a loan
than a gift.

1238
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,440
I thought
you might like to read

1239
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:16,240
the first edition version.

1240
00:55:16,240 --> 00:55:17,800
But, I need it back

1241
00:55:17,800 --> 00:55:22,000
because it's really special
to me.

1242
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,760
How sweet, thank you.

1243
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:28,720
I promise I'll take
good care of it.

1244
00:55:28,720 --> 00:55:32,080
You make me happy,
you know that?

1245
00:55:32,080 --> 00:55:34,200
You make me happy too.

1246
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:35,720
Um...

1247
00:55:37,640 --> 00:55:41,920
You know
what would really,
really make me happy?

1248
00:55:41,920 --> 00:55:45,240
What's that?

1249
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:49,960
If you could say
this one thing for me...

1250
00:55:49,960 --> 00:55:52,040
What thing?

1251
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:55,840
( whispering )

1252
00:56:01,880 --> 00:56:03,560
I can't say that.

1253
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:05,120
Why not?

1254
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,120
Come on,
you're such a quick learner.

1255
00:56:08,160 --> 00:56:10,880
And it's just
one little thing.

1256
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:12,120
You only have
to say it once.

1257
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,080
You can--
I mean, you can start slow.

1258
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:18,560
It won't sound right.
It won't sound like me.

1259
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,200
Sure it will.

1260
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:21,960
Just say it.

1261
00:56:26,160 --> 00:56:28,400
What do you want?

1262
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:30,680
I...

1263
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:37,880
I can't.
It's too embarrassing.

1264
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,600
Are you serious?

1265
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:47,200
Why can't you
just do what I ask?

1266
00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:48,480
Because I don't want to.

1267
00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:50,480
And frankly,
I find it a bit demeaning.

1268
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:52,120
It's not demeaning,
it's fun.

1269
00:56:52,160 --> 00:56:54,520
Not for me, it isn't.

1270
00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:58,080
You know what?
I tried.

1271
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:00,200
But if you can't just do
this one thing for me, then--

1272
00:57:00,200 --> 00:57:01,240
Then what?

1273
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,120
Jesus, David,
why are you acting like

1274
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:04,520
such psycho about this?

1275
00:57:04,520 --> 00:57:07,320
Don't be such
a child, Carrie.

1276
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,920
I'll call you a cab.

1277
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:17,520
( phone rings )

1278
00:57:21,600 --> 00:57:23,200
( clatters )

1279
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:26,880
Shit!

1280
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,920
No!

1281
00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:48,680
No, no, no, no.

1282
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,680
( exclaims )

1283
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,000
Katherine!

1284
00:57:52,000 --> 00:57:53,760
Ugh!

1285
00:57:53,760 --> 00:57:55,280
I'm sorry!

1286
00:57:55,280 --> 00:57:57,160
( whimpers )

1287
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:10,200
I don't understand.

1288
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:12,520
I need you
to take him back.

1289
00:58:12,520 --> 00:58:13,960
We can't accept returns.

1290
00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:16,680
He's all alone.
I can't do that to him.

1291
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:18,480
And you're the one
that told me

1292
00:58:18,480 --> 00:58:19,600
that fish were social.

1293
00:58:19,600 --> 00:58:21,000
I already
killed his friend,

1294
00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:21,960
I don't wanna kill him
too.

1295
00:58:21,960 --> 00:58:23,080
You killed who?

1296
00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:25,000
Katherine.
It was an accident.

1297
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:26,240
Did you eat her?

1298
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:29,480
What? No.
What?

1299
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:33,000
Lots of people
eat goldfish on dares.

1300
00:58:33,000 --> 00:58:36,000
That is insane.
Please, take him back.

1301
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,720
But don't let anyone
eat him.

1302
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:39,520
I told you.
No refunds or returns.

1303
00:58:39,520 --> 00:58:41,000
I don't want
my money back.

1304
00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:43,320
Just have a heart,
it's Christmas Eve.

1305
00:58:43,360 --> 00:58:44,760
Oh...

1306
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:46,400
Store policy.

1307
00:58:48,560 --> 00:58:51,320
Hey, hey,
what are you doing?

1308
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:53,960
Be free!
Make friends!

1309
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,200
Have a life.

1310
00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:57,680
You can't do that.
Take him back.

1311
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:59,800
I don't know
which one is which.

1312
00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,080
( chuckles )
I'm calling my manager.

1313
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:09,640
Merry Christmas,
Spencer.

1314
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:36,000
( shouts )

1315
00:59:45,880 --> 00:59:47,560
( screams )

1316
00:59:51,400 --> 00:59:53,000
( knocking on window )

1317
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,080
( knocking continues )

1318
01:00:00,920 --> 01:00:02,040
Is everything okay?

1319
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:03,200
What?

1320
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,960
I heard screaming.

1321
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:08,480
Oh, no!
That was the television.

1322
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,880
Oh, okay.

1323
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,040
Has your roommate
put you outside again?

1324
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,360
Yeah,
but if you don't want me to,

1325
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:19,000
- I could--
- Oh, no, that's fine.

1326
01:00:19,000 --> 01:00:20,240
You go ahead.

1327
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:22,880
I'll be here...

1328
01:00:22,880 --> 01:00:24,240
obviously.

1329
01:00:24,240 --> 01:00:25,680
Hey, hey, hey.

1330
01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,160
Do you want
to go for a walk?

1331
01:00:33,160 --> 01:00:35,720
I mean,
it is Christmas Eve.

1332
01:00:35,720 --> 01:00:38,040
Normal people
don't like to spend it alone.

1333
01:00:38,040 --> 01:00:40,760
How would you know
what normal people do?

1334
01:00:40,760 --> 01:00:43,560
That's just what I'm told.

1335
01:00:43,560 --> 01:00:46,600
Don't you have to practice
blowing indeterminate sounds

1336
01:00:46,600 --> 01:00:47,840
out of a large piece
of wood?

1337
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,440
I could do with a break.

1338
01:00:53,720 --> 01:00:55,480
So, do you live alone?

1339
01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:57,640
- I do.
- Lucky girl.

1340
01:00:57,640 --> 01:01:00,000
My roommate
Ted is insane.

1341
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:01,760
- Really?
- He barely says a word.

1342
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:04,240
And when he does speak,
it's invariably to lie.

1343
01:01:04,240 --> 01:01:05,440
It's actually incredible.

1344
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:07,520
I've never met anyone
like him.

1345
01:01:08,400 --> 01:01:10,080
How long
have you lived there?

1346
01:01:10,080 --> 01:01:11,320
A few months.

1347
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:13,600
I was roughing it,
living in a basement

1348
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,040
down in South Jersey
for a while,

1349
01:01:15,040 --> 01:01:16,920
just waiting
till I got a job

1350
01:01:16,920 --> 01:01:18,040
so I could move
to the city.

1351
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,320
I didn't want
to come here

1352
01:01:19,360 --> 01:01:21,120
and be owing money
to friends,

1353
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:23,200
or having to live
with four annoying roommates.

1354
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,840
- You know?
- Now you just have
one annoying roommate?

1355
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,320
( chuckles )
That's a victory
from where I'm standing.

1356
01:01:29,640 --> 01:01:32,040
And you actually
have a job

1357
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:33,400
playing the didgeridoo?

1358
01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:34,560
There can't be
too many of them

1359
01:01:34,560 --> 01:01:36,200
- going around.
- Well, I don't

1360
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,440
just play the didgeridoo.

1361
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:38,520
Oh, what else
do you play?

1362
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:41,440
Just some
other instruments.

1363
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:43,080
Like what?

1364
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:44,680
You really want to know?

1365
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:46,480
Otherwise
I wouldn't be asking.

1366
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,480
Okay, let's see...

1367
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,120
Flute, clarinet,
trumpet, trombone, tuba,

1368
01:01:53,120 --> 01:01:56,440
saxophone, guitar, piano,
drums, bassoon,

1369
01:01:56,440 --> 01:01:59,160
harmonica,
and the triangle.

1370
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:00,920
I'm actually pretty killer
on the triangle.

1371
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:02,360
And the didgeridoo.

1372
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:04,320
I'm still learning that one,
but yeah.

1373
01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,840
Did you study music
in college?

1374
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,920
Yeah, at Berklee.

1375
01:02:12,720 --> 01:02:14,840
Do you like music?

1376
01:02:14,840 --> 01:02:19,200
I'd be a weird person
if I didn't like music.

1377
01:02:19,200 --> 01:02:20,600
I used to listen
to old records

1378
01:02:20,600 --> 01:02:23,880
at my grandmother's
when I was a kid.

1379
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:25,400
I was actually
quite odd

1380
01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:27,000
when I was younger,
you know.

1381
01:02:27,000 --> 01:02:28,520
Impossible.

1382
01:02:30,000 --> 01:02:32,720
( bell dinging )

1383
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:36,360
Who's
your favorite musician?

1384
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:38,360
John Coltrane
at the moment.

1385
01:02:38,360 --> 01:02:39,320
Nice.

1386
01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,040
You heard of him?

1387
01:02:41,040 --> 01:02:42,360
He's kind of famous.

1388
01:02:42,360 --> 01:02:43,520
You'd be surprised
by how many people

1389
01:02:43,520 --> 01:02:45,200
have never said that.

1390
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:46,880
Knowledge
is kind of my thing.

1391
01:02:46,880 --> 01:02:48,320
Oh, yeah?

1392
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:50,200
So, were you
one of those head-down

1393
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:52,120
academic types
in high school?

1394
01:02:52,120 --> 01:02:53,760
You could say that, yeah.

1395
01:02:53,760 --> 01:02:56,480
And I'll bet
you were in every
after school society.

1396
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:57,680
Not every one.

1397
01:02:57,680 --> 01:03:01,120
Just Harvard
Model Congress,

1398
01:03:01,120 --> 01:03:06,240
Excellent Exegists,
Mathletes, College Bowl.

1399
01:03:06,240 --> 01:03:08,400
Wow.
You really were a nerd.

1400
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:11,200
Well, that's something
coming from a band geek.

1401
01:03:11,200 --> 01:03:12,760
Touché.

1402
01:03:17,720 --> 01:03:20,000
What's your actual job?

1403
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:23,440
I play, um...

1404
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,360
I play clarinet
for the New York Philharmonic.

1405
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:27,480
But I mean,
I just started,

1406
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:28,600
so it's-- it's nothing.

1407
01:03:28,640 --> 01:03:29,760
That's incredible.

1408
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:32,400
Your parents
must be so proud of you.

1409
01:03:32,440 --> 01:03:35,880
You know, you'd have thought
they would be,

1410
01:03:35,880 --> 01:03:38,680
but the truth is they really
don't get it at all.

1411
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:40,440
My...

1412
01:03:40,440 --> 01:03:41,400
my dad wanted me

1413
01:03:41,400 --> 01:03:43,680
to do
something more practical,

1414
01:03:43,680 --> 01:03:44,920
I guess.

1415
01:03:44,920 --> 01:03:46,360
Ever since
I tried to explain to him

1416
01:03:46,400 --> 01:03:47,920
that music's my thing,
he pretty much refuses

1417
01:03:47,920 --> 01:03:51,040
to engage
in any discussion about it.

1418
01:03:51,040 --> 01:03:52,760
That's awful.

1419
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:56,640
How do you deal
with that?

1420
01:03:56,640 --> 01:03:58,520
I don't know.
I didn't for a long time.

1421
01:03:58,560 --> 01:03:59,720
And then one day
I just thought,

1422
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:02,520
"Screw this," you know?

1423
01:04:02,520 --> 01:04:06,600
I have one life
and I'm allowed to be happy.

1424
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:08,760
You know?

1425
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:10,680
He'll come around
if he comes around.

1426
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:12,040
Yeah.

1427
01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,520
My dad has
a whole new family.

1428
01:04:17,520 --> 01:04:22,200
I just hate the feeling
that I've disappointed him.

1429
01:04:22,240 --> 01:04:24,720
Has he disappointed you?

1430
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:26,360
Mmm-hmm.

1431
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:28,840
But that doesn't mean
you don't love him, does it?

1432
01:04:28,840 --> 01:04:31,040
No, no, no,
of course not.

1433
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:33,120
So, maybe
it's the same for him?

1434
01:04:33,120 --> 01:04:34,840
I mean,
I'm sure he loves you.

1435
01:04:34,840 --> 01:04:37,320
What's not to love?

1436
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:46,120
So, uh...

1437
01:04:46,120 --> 01:04:47,560
what about you?

1438
01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:50,840
- What do you do?
- Oh, proofreader.

1439
01:04:50,840 --> 01:04:52,120
Professional, though.

1440
01:04:52,160 --> 01:04:53,840
Not one of those amateurs
you hear about.

1441
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:55,360
Oh, I'm sure.
I'm sure.

1442
01:04:55,360 --> 01:04:57,200
I'm not like you.

1443
01:04:57,200 --> 01:04:58,520
I don't have it
figured out yet.

1444
01:04:58,560 --> 01:05:00,360
Well, when you do,

1445
01:05:00,360 --> 01:05:01,560
I've got a feeling

1446
01:05:01,560 --> 01:05:04,120
you're gonna set the world
alight.

1447
01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:05,720
What makes you say that?

1448
01:05:05,720 --> 01:05:07,840
That's just what
my gut says.

1449
01:05:10,880 --> 01:05:14,440
Do you wanna dance?

1450
01:05:14,440 --> 01:05:16,280
No, no.

1451
01:05:16,280 --> 01:05:20,680
I dance like
a rhythmless four-year-old.

1452
01:05:20,680 --> 01:05:22,080
No, no. Seriously.

1453
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:24,040
You'll have images
you won't ever be able

1454
01:05:24,040 --> 01:05:25,920
to get out of your head,
like when you see

1455
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:29,080
- a really bad horror movie.
- I love horror movies.

1456
01:05:29,080 --> 01:05:30,400
Seriously, no.

1457
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:31,840
I won't take no
for an answer.

1458
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:32,920
Here, come on.

1459
01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:34,280
- Oh...
- Come on.

1460
01:05:34,280 --> 01:05:35,600
Okay, okay.
You asked for it.

1461
01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:36,960
All right.

1462
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:38,640
Here.
Put your arm here.

1463
01:05:38,640 --> 01:05:39,440
( laughs )

1464
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,360
- Are you ready?
- Mmm-hmm.

1465
01:05:48,520 --> 01:05:50,240
You're freezing.

1466
01:05:50,240 --> 01:05:51,320
No, it's okay.

1467
01:05:51,320 --> 01:05:53,240
Here.
Take my coat.

1468
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:56,000
Thanks.

1469
01:05:59,680 --> 01:06:01,000
Looks good.

1470
01:06:05,840 --> 01:06:07,040
Is this yours?

1471
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:10,200
Yeah, Salinger.
You read it?

1472
01:06:10,200 --> 01:06:14,920
What am I saying?
Of course you have.

1473
01:06:14,920 --> 01:06:20,120
Um--
I-- I have to go.

1474
01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,720
Go where?

1475
01:06:22,720 --> 01:06:26,520
There's just something
I have to do really quickly.

1476
01:06:26,560 --> 01:06:29,280
Would you mind
if I borrowed this?

1477
01:06:29,280 --> 01:06:30,800
I'll bring it back
tomorrow.

1478
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:32,680
You're really close by.

1479
01:06:32,680 --> 01:06:33,760
Of course.

1480
01:06:33,760 --> 01:06:35,320
- No problem.
- Thank you.

1481
01:06:35,360 --> 01:06:36,840
It's been really nice.

1482
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,400
You're not nearly as bad
as I thought you were.

1483
01:06:39,400 --> 01:06:41,680
( laughs )

1484
01:06:49,840 --> 01:06:52,360
( dial tone )

1485
01:06:54,640 --> 01:06:57,400
( dialing )

1486
01:06:59,320 --> 01:07:01,160
( phone rings )

1487
01:07:03,480 --> 01:07:06,760
Woman:
Merry Christmas!

1488
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:08,120
Hello?

1489
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:10,080
Is David there?

1490
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:11,480
Who is this?

1491
01:07:11,520 --> 01:07:12,760
Carrie.

1492
01:07:12,800 --> 01:07:14,080
Who?

1493
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:16,320
Can I just please speak
to David?

1494
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:19,360
Professor Harrison:
Carrie?

1495
01:07:19,360 --> 01:07:21,280
I want my book back.

1496
01:07:21,280 --> 01:07:22,680
What book?

1497
01:07:22,720 --> 01:07:24,240
The one I lent you.

1498
01:07:24,240 --> 01:07:27,160
My first edition
of "Franny and Zooey."

1499
01:07:27,160 --> 01:07:28,680
Yeah, I'm right
in the middle of hosting

1500
01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:30,480
a Christmas party.

1501
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:33,560
Can we discuss this next
month when I get back to my
office?

1502
01:07:33,560 --> 01:07:36,920
Could you please just do
this one thing for me?

1503
01:07:36,920 --> 01:07:38,680
Well,
I'll tell you what.

1504
01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:40,680
If I find it, I'll be sure
to let you know, okay?

1505
01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:42,920
Merry Christmas, Carrie.

1506
01:07:42,920 --> 01:07:44,480
( dial tone )

1507
01:08:08,760 --> 01:08:10,400
Okay...

1508
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,720
God...
I'm not going to lie.

1509
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:17,280
I don't really believe
you exist.

1510
01:08:19,880 --> 01:08:21,520
So, I don't really know
what I'm doing,

1511
01:08:21,520 --> 01:08:23,560
or who I'm talking to,

1512
01:08:23,560 --> 01:08:27,720
but anyway,
I just thought I might

1513
01:08:27,720 --> 01:08:30,520
at least let you know
in the unlikely event

1514
01:08:30,520 --> 01:08:31,680
that you did exist,

1515
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:35,880
what my requests
would be this Christmas.

1516
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,360
It won't take long,
I promise.

1517
01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:42,120
So, firstly,

1518
01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,680
I'd like things
to be better

1519
01:08:43,680 --> 01:08:47,360
for the homeless,
the old, the sick,

1520
01:08:47,360 --> 01:08:50,720
and anyone
who's not doing so great.

1521
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:56,880
I'm sorry
for when I judge people.

1522
01:08:56,880 --> 01:08:59,920
And I'm sorry
for the not-so-good things

1523
01:08:59,920 --> 01:09:01,280
I've done lately.

1524
01:09:01,280 --> 01:09:06,040
It just seems kind of hard
to avoid doing them.

1525
01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:10,520
But I'll try and do better,
I promise.

1526
01:09:10,520 --> 01:09:12,520
Oh, and this might
sound really petty,

1527
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:14,600
but could you please
help everyone learn

1528
01:09:14,600 --> 01:09:18,680
how to pronounce
"In Excelsis Deo" correctly?

1529
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:20,240
Thanks.

1530
01:09:22,680 --> 01:09:24,760
And...

1531
01:09:27,360 --> 01:09:28,880
I know...

1532
01:09:30,040 --> 01:09:35,960
that my mom probably
isn't up there with you,

1533
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:40,880
but if she was,
I just want her to know

1534
01:09:40,880 --> 01:09:45,880
that I really,
really, really miss her.

1535
01:09:45,880 --> 01:09:50,200
And I know
that my dad does too.

1536
01:09:52,440 --> 01:09:56,600
As for him,
I'm just tired of fighting.

1537
01:09:58,520 --> 01:10:01,840
I just
really wish everything

1538
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,400
could be like
it was before.

1539
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,760
So, anyway,
that's it I guess.

1540
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:10,280
Amen.

1541
01:10:10,280 --> 01:10:12,800
Oh, and happy birthday.

1542
01:10:29,560 --> 01:10:31,040
( doorbell buzzes )

1543
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:39,080
I know it's Christmas,

1544
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:40,800
so you don't have to work,
even though you're Jewish,

1545
01:10:40,800 --> 01:10:42,200
and technically
you don't celebrate,

1546
01:10:42,240 --> 01:10:43,320
but we need to talk.

1547
01:10:43,320 --> 01:10:44,760
Are you okay?

1548
01:10:44,760 --> 01:10:45,960
Not really, no.

1549
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:47,880
And I'm sorry to interrupt
your non-holiday,

1550
01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:49,680
but I couldn't wait
another week to tell you

1551
01:10:49,680 --> 01:10:51,200
that your list is crap.

1552
01:10:51,200 --> 01:10:53,360
- All right, just hold on--
- No. I will not hold on.

1553
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:54,760
I need you
to listen to me.

1554
01:10:54,760 --> 01:10:57,240
Because of you,
I am a fish murderer.

1555
01:10:57,240 --> 01:10:59,480
Even worse, I almost slept
with an engaged guy.

1556
01:10:59,480 --> 01:11:01,480
And I am
more confused than ever.

1557
01:11:01,480 --> 01:11:02,840
Like, is it
so wrong for me

1558
01:11:02,840 --> 01:11:04,960
to do what is right
and be happy?

1559
01:11:04,960 --> 01:11:06,560
Because if so,
I am destined to be

1560
01:11:06,560 --> 01:11:07,840
a miserable person,
list or no list.

1561
01:11:07,840 --> 01:11:09,280
Carrie, stop.
Please, come inside--

1562
01:11:09,280 --> 01:11:10,680
I know what
you're going to say.

1563
01:11:10,680 --> 01:11:12,120
You're gonna say
I can't say the list is crap

1564
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:13,440
because
I haven't finished it yet.

1565
01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:14,680
But the thing is,
I can't finish it

1566
01:11:14,680 --> 01:11:16,040
because I left
my "Franny and Zooey"

1567
01:11:16,040 --> 01:11:17,440
at Professor Harrison's.

1568
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:20,200
- Okay, so get it back.
- I told you, I can't!

1569
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:22,280
I don't need to finish
the list to know that,

1570
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:25,560
shocker--
drinking a cherry soda

1571
01:11:25,600 --> 01:11:28,160
will not make my dad
pay attention to me.

1572
01:11:28,160 --> 01:11:31,040
Having a goldfish
won't bring my mom back.

1573
01:11:31,040 --> 01:11:33,480
It did help me learn,
though, that going on a date

1574
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,640
could make me feel
more lonely than ever.

1575
01:11:35,640 --> 01:11:37,520
You know what I think?
I think you're the one
who needs a list.

1576
01:11:37,560 --> 01:11:39,080
And it should have things
on it like,

1577
01:11:39,080 --> 01:11:40,560
"Don't have affairs
with married women."

1578
01:11:40,560 --> 01:11:42,120
- Now wait a minute.
- And fine, you're an adult,

1579
01:11:42,120 --> 01:11:44,120
so you can do what you like,
but so can I.

1580
01:11:44,160 --> 01:11:45,600
And just because
I don't want to do

1581
01:11:45,600 --> 01:11:47,920
demeaning or immoral things
doesn't make me a prude.

1582
01:11:47,920 --> 01:11:49,080
I mean, a prude
wouldn't sleep with

1583
01:11:49,080 --> 01:11:50,600
her English professor,
would she?

1584
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:52,040
You slept with
your English professor?

1585
01:11:53,840 --> 01:11:54,800
Dad!

1586
01:11:54,800 --> 01:11:56,040
Petrov:
I tried to tell you.

1587
01:11:56,040 --> 01:11:57,120
What are you doing here?

1588
01:11:57,120 --> 01:11:58,280
What--
what is he doing here?

1589
01:11:58,280 --> 01:11:59,680
I was worried about you.

1590
01:11:59,680 --> 01:12:01,560
Obviously,
I had a very good reason to.

1591
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:03,280
- Why didn't you call?
- I did call.

1592
01:12:03,280 --> 01:12:04,400
You didn't pick up
your phone.

1593
01:12:04,400 --> 01:12:06,840
Because my phones
are broken!

1594
01:12:06,840 --> 01:12:07,840
Where's your new family?

1595
01:12:07,840 --> 01:12:09,120
Did you ship them off too,

1596
01:12:09,120 --> 01:12:10,440
so you didn't have to deal
with them?

1597
01:12:10,440 --> 01:12:11,800
That's not fair, Carrie.

1598
01:12:11,800 --> 01:12:13,800
What he did to me
isn't fair.

1599
01:12:13,800 --> 01:12:15,240
That didn't stop him.

1600
01:12:15,240 --> 01:12:16,680
Go home, Dad.

1601
01:12:16,680 --> 01:12:18,520
I came so that
you wouldn't have to go

1602
01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:19,920
to London,

1603
01:12:19,920 --> 01:12:21,200
which you seem to hate.

1604
01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:23,240
No, I don't hate London,
I hate you!

1605
01:12:23,240 --> 01:12:25,720
And I hate
this stupid list!

1606
01:12:25,720 --> 01:12:27,320
( sighs )

1607
01:12:29,280 --> 01:12:30,840
Well...

1608
01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:31,800
that went well.

1609
01:12:31,840 --> 01:12:34,040
Give her some time.

1610
01:13:25,080 --> 01:13:26,160
Hi.

1611
01:13:27,560 --> 01:13:29,600
Wasn't sure
if you'd remember.

1612
01:13:31,480 --> 01:13:34,200
It's been such long time.

1613
01:13:34,240 --> 01:13:36,800
I'm a prodigy, aren't I?

1614
01:13:36,800 --> 01:13:39,040
I think I can remember
the simple phrase,

1615
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:40,480
"If you get lost,

1616
01:13:40,480 --> 01:13:42,600
I'll meet you
at Hans Christian Andersen."

1617
01:13:48,160 --> 01:13:50,360
Poor guy.

1618
01:13:50,360 --> 01:13:53,360
Never found love.

1619
01:13:53,360 --> 01:13:55,080
Wrote all those books
for children

1620
01:13:55,080 --> 01:13:57,000
and never had
any of his own.

1621
01:13:57,000 --> 01:13:58,520
Mm.

1622
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,160
Might be a good thing.

1623
01:14:00,160 --> 01:14:01,600
If he had them,
he undoubtedly

1624
01:14:01,560 --> 01:14:03,840
would have
disappointed them.

1625
01:14:09,760 --> 01:14:12,920
I really want you
to like Felicity.

1626
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:15,480
I should have
told you.

1627
01:14:15,520 --> 01:14:17,720
But I thought that
if you met her first,

1628
01:14:17,720 --> 01:14:21,560
then she and and her kids,
you'd give them

1629
01:14:21,560 --> 01:14:23,600
a bit more of a chance.

1630
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:28,840
When your mother
got sick,

1631
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:34,120
I felt that I had
failed her somehow.

1632
01:14:35,520 --> 01:14:38,400
My whole reason for being

1633
01:14:38,400 --> 01:14:43,160
was to take care of her,
and you.

1634
01:14:43,160 --> 01:14:45,720
And then I got
really terrified

1635
01:14:45,720 --> 01:14:51,160
that I was going to fail you
as well.

1636
01:14:51,160 --> 01:14:53,520
So, I thought
that you would be better off

1637
01:14:53,520 --> 01:14:57,280
with people who understood
how to teach you.

1638
01:14:57,280 --> 01:15:00,520
I mean, you were so far ahead
of your classmates.

1639
01:15:00,520 --> 01:15:01,960
You were brilliant.

1640
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:04,000
And I thought if you went
to college,

1641
01:15:04,000 --> 01:15:08,400
you'd meet people
who were of like mind.

1642
01:15:08,400 --> 01:15:10,680
I was 14.

1643
01:15:10,680 --> 01:15:11,960
I was a freak.

1644
01:15:16,760 --> 01:15:18,080
What about
the English teacher?

1645
01:15:18,080 --> 01:15:20,600
Made me feel like
less of one.

1646
01:15:20,600 --> 01:15:23,560
At the beginning
at least.

1647
01:15:27,320 --> 01:15:32,120
Did he... hurt you?

1648
01:15:32,120 --> 01:15:34,880
No, no,
it wasn't like that.

1649
01:15:36,280 --> 01:15:37,720
You can press charges.

1650
01:15:37,720 --> 01:15:39,880
Dad, I don't think
you can press charges

1651
01:15:39,880 --> 01:15:41,160
for hurting
someone's feelings.

1652
01:15:41,160 --> 01:15:42,600
That's not what
I'm talking about.

1653
01:15:42,600 --> 01:15:44,440
I'm talking about the fact
that you were underage.

1654
01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:45,720
I was 16.

1655
01:15:45,720 --> 01:15:47,800
That's the legal age
of consent.

1656
01:15:47,840 --> 01:15:51,360
And anyway,
he never forced me.

1657
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:52,720
He manipulated you.

1658
01:15:52,720 --> 01:15:55,800
He used his position.

1659
01:15:57,560 --> 01:15:59,160
I'm gonna have him fired.

1660
01:15:59,160 --> 01:16:01,360
Well, he's teaching
at Columbia now,

1661
01:16:01,360 --> 01:16:03,400
so it looks like
someone beat you to it.

1662
01:16:05,240 --> 01:16:09,920
I just wish the bastard
would give me my book back.

1663
01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:13,560
- What book?
- "Franny and Zooey."

1664
01:16:13,560 --> 01:16:15,440
Don't you remember?

1665
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:17,080
Mom gave me
a first edition

1666
01:16:17,080 --> 01:16:19,880
for my 12th birthday.

1667
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:22,360
Oh, yes.

1668
01:16:22,400 --> 01:16:25,240
So she did.

1669
01:16:25,240 --> 01:16:26,840
You lent him that book?

1670
01:16:26,840 --> 01:16:29,720
I thought
he'd appreciate it.

1671
01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:31,560
I thought
he'd appreciate me.

1672
01:16:34,520 --> 01:16:36,440
Right, that's it.

1673
01:16:36,440 --> 01:16:37,920
Come on, let's go.

1674
01:16:39,280 --> 01:16:40,360
Where?

1675
01:16:40,360 --> 01:16:41,760
We're gonna get
your book back.

1676
01:16:41,760 --> 01:16:43,800
- What?
- Where's he live?

1677
01:16:43,800 --> 01:16:45,000
Dad,
I really don't think--

1678
01:16:45,000 --> 01:16:47,080
Carrie,
where does he live?

1679
01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:57,400
Hi.

1680
01:16:57,400 --> 01:16:58,440
Hi.

1681
01:16:58,440 --> 01:16:59,680
Is David here?

1682
01:16:59,680 --> 01:17:00,880
Professor Harrison:
Who is it, Amanda?

1683
01:17:00,880 --> 01:17:03,640
There's a girl
here to see you.

1684
01:17:06,400 --> 01:17:07,520
Carrie.

1685
01:17:07,520 --> 01:17:10,480
What
an unexpected pleasure.

1686
01:17:10,480 --> 01:17:13,880
This is Amanda,
my wife.

1687
01:17:13,880 --> 01:17:15,680
Carrie Pilby, a student.

1688
01:17:15,680 --> 01:17:17,600
Ex-student.

1689
01:17:17,560 --> 01:17:19,240
You got married?

1690
01:17:19,240 --> 01:17:20,480
Yeah.

1691
01:17:20,440 --> 01:17:21,760
Congratulations.

1692
01:17:21,720 --> 01:17:24,840
I'm Daniel Pilby,
Carrie's father.

1693
01:17:24,840 --> 01:17:27,080
Well, it's nice
to meet you.

1694
01:17:27,080 --> 01:17:28,720
We've come to get a book

1695
01:17:28,720 --> 01:17:30,040
that your husband's been
kind enough

1696
01:17:30,040 --> 01:17:31,480
to look after for me.

1697
01:17:31,480 --> 01:17:33,400
Oh, yeah, the book.

1698
01:17:33,400 --> 01:17:35,640
Well, it's somewhere
inside the house.

1699
01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:37,080
As soon as I have a chance,
I'll find it,

1700
01:17:37,080 --> 01:17:38,360
and I'll put it
in the mail.

1701
01:17:38,360 --> 01:17:39,840
Why don't we save you
the trouble

1702
01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:42,400
and have
a quick look ourselves?

1703
01:17:43,600 --> 01:17:45,520
Excuse me.

1704
01:17:45,520 --> 01:17:47,760
I already told you,
I don't know where it is.

1705
01:17:47,760 --> 01:17:50,160
But you said yourself
it must be here somewhere.

1706
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:51,920
Hello.

1707
01:17:54,200 --> 01:17:56,000
Do you mind?

1708
01:17:56,000 --> 01:17:57,160
No, not at all.

1709
01:17:57,160 --> 01:17:59,360
We won't be a moment.

1710
01:18:00,760 --> 01:18:02,080
Happy Christmas.

1711
01:18:02,040 --> 01:18:03,480
Same to you.

1712
01:18:04,440 --> 01:18:05,920
Library.

1713
01:18:05,920 --> 01:18:08,480
♪ Good tidings to you

1714
01:18:08,480 --> 01:18:09,880
♪ Wherever you are...

1715
01:18:09,880 --> 01:18:11,480
- We've got guests.
- They seem very nice.

1716
01:18:11,480 --> 01:18:12,600
Oh!

1717
01:18:12,600 --> 01:18:14,440
♪ ...And a Happy New Year

1718
01:18:14,440 --> 01:18:16,440
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪

1719
01:18:16,440 --> 01:18:18,360
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas... ♪

1720
01:18:18,360 --> 01:18:19,680
- Look!
- Ah!

1721
01:18:19,680 --> 01:18:20,720
There!

1722
01:18:20,720 --> 01:18:22,400
That wasn't
so difficult after all.

1723
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:24,000
Will that be all?

1724
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,080
Well,
there is one small thing.

1725
01:18:25,080 --> 01:18:26,200
Yes?

1726
01:18:26,200 --> 01:18:27,760
- ( grunts )
- ( guests gasp )

1727
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:29,800
( guests mutter )

1728
01:18:29,800 --> 01:18:32,600
Borrowing a book
and not returning it

1729
01:18:32,600 --> 01:18:34,680
is the height
of rudeness.

1730
01:18:34,680 --> 01:18:36,520
- You son of a--
-  Yeah.

1731
01:18:36,520 --> 01:18:37,880
Come along, Carrie.

1732
01:18:37,920 --> 01:18:39,480
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas ♪

1733
01:18:39,480 --> 01:18:40,600
♪ We wish you
a Merry Christmas... ♪

1734
01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:42,200
Man:
Who was this guy?

1735
01:18:42,200 --> 01:18:43,480
It looks good on you.

1736
01:18:43,480 --> 01:18:45,480
- What?
- The blood.

1737
01:18:45,480 --> 01:18:47,400
Turns your lips red.

1738
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:48,680
♪ ...New Year.

1739
01:18:54,680 --> 01:18:55,680
( song ends )

1740
01:18:55,680 --> 01:18:57,240
- ( laughs )
- Are you okay?

1741
01:18:57,240 --> 01:18:59,360
I think-- I think
I've broken something.

1742
01:18:59,360 --> 01:19:02,200
Bloody worth it,
though, eh?

1743
01:19:02,200 --> 01:19:05,200
Let me see.
Let me see.

1744
01:19:05,240 --> 01:19:09,840
I think
you're gonna be okay.

1745
01:19:09,840 --> 01:19:11,360
I missed you.

1746
01:19:11,360 --> 01:19:13,680
And I missed you too.

1747
01:19:13,680 --> 01:19:16,240
So, so much.

1748
01:19:16,240 --> 01:19:20,800
And I'm so sorry
for everything.

1749
01:19:20,760 --> 01:19:22,040
It's okay.

1750
01:19:22,080 --> 01:19:25,000
But you need to stop
trying to get me sorted.

1751
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:26,000
I'm 19.

1752
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:28,240
I'm not supposed
to be sorted yet.

1753
01:19:28,240 --> 01:19:29,520
Okay.

1754
01:19:37,240 --> 01:19:38,840
I come in peace.

1755
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:41,280
Carrie, hi.

1756
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:44,040
I wasn't sure
if you'd show up

1757
01:19:44,040 --> 01:19:45,760
for your appointment
today.

1758
01:19:45,760 --> 01:19:47,480
Did your dad leave?

1759
01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:48,880
Yeah, he did.

1760
01:19:48,880 --> 01:19:51,880
I miss him already.

1761
01:19:51,880 --> 01:19:53,600
You can go back to sleep
if you want.

1762
01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:56,400
No, no.
I was just a little tired.

1763
01:19:57,800 --> 01:19:59,600
Long night?

1764
01:19:59,600 --> 01:20:02,320
You do realize
it's not appropriate for me

1765
01:20:02,320 --> 01:20:05,920
to discuss
my personal life with you.

1766
01:20:05,920 --> 01:20:07,960
I think
it would really help me

1767
01:20:07,960 --> 01:20:09,280
if you did.

1768
01:20:15,600 --> 01:20:17,240
All right.

1769
01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:19,440
What do you
want to know?

1770
01:20:19,480 --> 01:20:21,080
Was there ever a time

1771
01:20:21,080 --> 01:20:22,960
when you thought
that cheating was wrong?

1772
01:20:22,960 --> 01:20:25,640
Of course.
I still do.

1773
01:20:25,640 --> 01:20:27,880
Then how do
you justify it?
Don't you feel bad?

1774
01:20:27,880 --> 01:20:29,760
Yes.

1775
01:20:29,760 --> 01:20:31,680
No.

1776
01:20:31,640 --> 01:20:33,120
All of the above.

1777
01:20:33,120 --> 01:20:36,880
I do part-time consulting
for Cheryl's agency.

1778
01:20:36,880 --> 01:20:39,680
She works
with abused children.

1779
01:20:39,680 --> 01:20:43,160
We spent
a lot of time together.

1780
01:20:43,160 --> 01:20:45,960
I invited her
for coffee.

1781
01:20:45,960 --> 01:20:49,520
We talked,
we talked more.

1782
01:20:49,520 --> 01:20:51,800
We wanted to spend
more time together.

1783
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,080
I suppose I am

1784
01:20:53,080 --> 01:20:55,000
what you might call
a hypocrite.

1785
01:20:55,000 --> 01:20:57,360
It must bring you great joy
to hear me say that.

1786
01:20:57,400 --> 01:20:59,160
No, no.
It doesn't.

1787
01:20:59,160 --> 01:21:02,600
Her husband doesn't show her
any affection.

1788
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,440
- That's an excuse.
- He's always gone.

1789
01:21:05,400 --> 01:21:07,040
- Excuse.
- He's been cheating.

1790
01:21:07,040 --> 01:21:08,000
- Excuse.
- And maybe--

1791
01:21:08,000 --> 01:21:09,840
Excuse!

1792
01:21:09,840 --> 01:21:11,240
( sighs )

1793
01:21:11,240 --> 01:21:13,360
Maybe she'll leave him?

1794
01:21:15,640 --> 01:21:17,280
Excuse.

1795
01:21:20,200 --> 01:21:21,880
I just came
to let you know

1796
01:21:21,880 --> 01:21:23,320
that my dad and I
made up.

1797
01:21:23,320 --> 01:21:25,680
I'm very glad.

1798
01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:27,600
And, okay.

1799
01:21:27,600 --> 01:21:31,480
He helped me
to get this back.

1800
01:21:35,800 --> 01:21:38,600
"Franny and Zooey."

1801
01:21:38,600 --> 01:21:40,800
And as we often say
in my profession,

1802
01:21:40,800 --> 01:21:42,880
how did that
make you feel?

1803
01:21:42,880 --> 01:21:46,320
Like maybe I should finish
that silly,

1804
01:21:46,320 --> 01:21:48,680
or not so silly,

1805
01:21:48,680 --> 01:21:51,800
list that I threw
in your general direction?

1806
01:21:51,800 --> 01:21:54,240
Oh, I was hoping
you'd say that.

1807
01:21:55,240 --> 01:21:56,280
You saved it.

1808
01:21:56,280 --> 01:21:57,600
Just in case.

1809
01:21:57,560 --> 01:21:59,680
I have a photographic memory,
remember?

1810
01:22:01,920 --> 01:22:03,360
Thank you.

1811
01:22:05,280 --> 01:22:07,560
So, what are you going
to do about Mrs. Rubin?

1812
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:10,160
I don't know.

1813
01:22:10,160 --> 01:22:12,960
Contrary to what the degrees
on the wall may imply,

1814
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:15,240
I don't have
all the answers.

1815
01:22:15,240 --> 01:22:18,600
I wouldn't trust anyone
who thought that they did.

1816
01:22:18,600 --> 01:22:20,480
Maybe you need
to make her a list.

1817
01:22:20,480 --> 01:22:22,200
"Five ways
to leave her husband."

1818
01:22:22,200 --> 01:22:24,800
( both laugh )

1819
01:22:26,600 --> 01:22:29,160
You know, sometimes...

1820
01:22:29,160 --> 01:22:32,480
you really remind me
of your mother.

1821
01:22:33,440 --> 01:22:35,360
Thanks.

1822
01:22:35,360 --> 01:22:37,280
I'll take that
as a compliment.

1823
01:22:37,280 --> 01:22:39,920
Compliment intended.

1824
01:22:40,920 --> 01:22:43,040
You are allowed
to be happy, Carrie.

1825
01:22:43,040 --> 01:22:46,680
You know that,
don't you?

1826
01:22:46,680 --> 01:22:48,960
Your mom
would want that for you.

1827
01:23:21,440 --> 01:23:23,080
( shutter clicks )

1828
01:23:38,920 --> 01:23:40,240
Shit.

1829
01:23:42,800 --> 01:23:44,240
Carrie!

1830
01:23:44,240 --> 01:23:45,680
Oh, thank God!

1831
01:23:45,680 --> 01:23:47,520
I thought you might
never speak to me again

1832
01:23:47,520 --> 01:23:49,120
after I abandoned you
at Dex's gig.

1833
01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:50,640
How can I ever
make it up to you?

1834
01:23:50,640 --> 01:23:51,960
You already did.

1835
01:23:51,960 --> 01:23:53,640
You helped me
cross something off my list.

1836
01:23:53,640 --> 01:23:55,280
I did?
Which one?

1837
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:56,400
Make a friend.

1838
01:23:56,400 --> 01:23:58,560
- Oh!
- Oh, okay.

1839
01:23:58,560 --> 01:24:00,840
You're hurting me
a little bit.

1840
01:24:00,840 --> 01:24:02,040
Oh, come on.

1841
01:24:02,040 --> 01:24:03,160
I want to introduce you
to Dex.

1842
01:24:03,160 --> 01:24:04,640
- Dex? Dex-Dex?
- Yeah.

1843
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:06,880
What, "Nationally
registered tongue" Dex?

1844
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,520
- Okay. Okay.
- Oh, sorry!

1845
01:24:09,520 --> 01:24:11,680
( muttering )

1846
01:24:11,680 --> 01:24:13,600
Oh, Carrie, this is Dex.

1847
01:24:13,600 --> 01:24:14,680
Dex, this is Carrie.

1848
01:24:14,680 --> 01:24:16,120
Hi, nice to meet you!

1849
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:17,160
Yeah, you too.

1850
01:24:17,160 --> 01:24:20,080
Oh, uh--

1851
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:22,240
He seems... nice.

1852
01:24:22,240 --> 01:24:23,720
Yeah, he is.

1853
01:24:23,720 --> 01:24:26,000
I'll call you.
We'll go for lunch.

1854
01:24:26,000 --> 01:24:27,800
Oh, oh!
I would love that.

1855
01:24:27,800 --> 01:24:29,480
Well, see you later!

1856
01:24:29,480 --> 01:24:31,240
Okay.

1857
01:24:36,240 --> 01:24:37,160
Pilby!

1858
01:24:40,360 --> 01:24:42,600
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

1859
01:24:42,600 --> 01:24:45,840
Are you wearing
eye makeup?

1860
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:47,360
It looks good.

1861
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:51,520
Hey, what's the square root
of 6,023?

1862
01:24:51,520 --> 01:24:53,000
Seventy-five.

1863
01:24:53,000 --> 01:24:54,800
You're a freaking genius!

1864
01:24:54,800 --> 01:24:57,560
- I made it up.
- Like, what's the equation?

1865
01:24:57,560 --> 01:24:58,800
What special equations
do you use?

1866
01:24:58,840 --> 01:25:00,560
You know what,
I'll tell you on Monday.

1867
01:25:00,560 --> 01:25:01,920
You're leaving?

1868
01:25:01,920 --> 01:25:06,480
I have a party limit,
and I'm all partied out.

1869
01:25:06,480 --> 01:25:08,280
But I'll see you later.
Happy New Year.

1870
01:25:11,600 --> 01:25:13,600
Male reporter:
What a scene here
in Times Square!

1871
01:25:13,600 --> 01:25:15,360
Hundreds of thousands
of people crammed in here.

1872
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:17,280
Very excited,
counting down to midnight.

1873
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:19,560
Female reporter:
That's a no brainer!
Absolutely.

1874
01:25:19,560 --> 01:25:21,760
Man:
Well, I'd like to get
in the hot tub already.

1875
01:25:21,720 --> 01:25:23,680
- I'm so cold right now!
- You're cold?

1876
01:25:23,680 --> 01:25:25,960
Are you kidding,
it's 40 degrees.
Try living in Minnesota.

1877
01:25:25,960 --> 01:25:27,720
- Should they get
in the hot tub?
- Woman #2: They should

1878
01:25:27,720 --> 01:25:29,120
because we're freezing
and we would love

1879
01:25:29,120 --> 01:25:30,320
to get in the hot tub.

1880
01:25:30,320 --> 01:25:31,640
Woman:
You're from Phoenix!

1881
01:25:31,640 --> 01:25:33,560
Woman #2: Should
they get in the hot tub?

1882
01:25:33,560 --> 01:25:35,680
Male reporter:
Yes, you ladies
get in the hot tub quick!

1883
01:25:35,680 --> 01:25:37,640
- Get in the hot tub!
Come on, get in the hot tub.
- Fuck it.

1884
01:25:45,240 --> 01:25:47,240
Hey.

1885
01:25:47,240 --> 01:25:50,120
Hi.
You must be Ted.

1886
01:25:51,800 --> 01:25:53,920
Is Cy in?

1887
01:25:53,920 --> 01:25:55,040
Moved out.

1888
01:25:55,000 --> 01:25:56,680
What?

1889
01:25:56,680 --> 01:25:57,640
When?

1890
01:25:57,640 --> 01:25:58,560
Yesterday.

1891
01:25:59,800 --> 01:26:01,880
Oh, okay.

1892
01:26:01,880 --> 01:26:03,200
Um...

1893
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,360
- Well--
- Bye-bye, then.

1894
01:26:04,360 --> 01:26:05,440
Oh, okay, um--

1895
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:06,920
Well, is there any way
that I could--

1896
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:08,200
Happy New Year.

1897
01:26:08,200 --> 01:26:10,240
Is it--

1898
01:26:10,240 --> 01:26:12,320
( footsteps approach )

1899
01:26:12,320 --> 01:26:13,560
What is the matter
with you?

1900
01:26:13,560 --> 01:26:16,440
Can you not stop lying
for one minute?

1901
01:26:16,440 --> 01:26:17,880
Hey, sorry.

1902
01:26:17,880 --> 01:26:19,600
You see what I mean?
The guy's a compulsive liar.

1903
01:26:19,600 --> 01:26:21,280
You literally can't believe
a word he says.

1904
01:26:21,280 --> 01:26:22,560
Nice tux.

1905
01:26:22,560 --> 01:26:24,800
Oh, yeah.
We had a concert.

1906
01:26:24,800 --> 01:26:26,280
I just got back.

1907
01:26:26,280 --> 01:26:29,120
You didn't wanna go out
after?

1908
01:26:29,120 --> 01:26:30,960
New Year's Eve
isn't really my thing.

1909
01:26:30,960 --> 01:26:33,840
Me neither.

1910
01:26:33,840 --> 01:26:36,600
Do you want
to come in?

1911
01:26:36,600 --> 01:26:38,360
If that's okay.

1912
01:26:38,360 --> 01:26:41,720
Yeah, I think
that could be okay.

1913
01:26:41,720 --> 01:26:44,800
Actually, would you mind
waiting here one second?

1914
01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:46,080
There's just
something I have to do

1915
01:26:46,080 --> 01:26:47,360
really, really quickly.

1916
01:26:47,360 --> 01:26:49,000
I'll be--
I'll be one minute.

1917
01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:50,200
Okay.

1918
01:26:59,960 --> 01:27:01,680
( knocking on window )

1919
01:27:13,080 --> 01:27:14,960
You're always
disappearing.

1920
01:27:14,960 --> 01:27:18,680
Sorry, I thought
I left the stove on.

1921
01:27:18,680 --> 01:27:19,880
That's okay.

1922
01:27:19,880 --> 01:27:21,640
This is a much
better spot anyway.

1923
01:27:21,640 --> 01:27:22,720
Spot?

1924
01:27:22,720 --> 01:27:24,680
To watch the fireworks.

1925
01:27:24,680 --> 01:27:26,040
They're about to start.

1926
01:27:27,760 --> 01:27:29,760
Here, take my hand.

1927
01:27:36,920 --> 01:27:39,000
It's freezing.

1928
01:27:39,000 --> 01:27:40,120
I'd loan you my coat,

1929
01:27:40,120 --> 01:27:41,360
but someone forgot
to return it.

1930
01:27:41,360 --> 01:27:42,520
Oh, right.

1931
01:27:42,520 --> 01:27:44,760
Oh, I'm sorry.
Shall I pop in and grab it?

1932
01:27:44,760 --> 01:27:47,320
You just stay right here,
Carrie Pilby.

1933
01:27:51,440 --> 01:27:54,320
So, what's Cy short for?

1934
01:27:54,320 --> 01:27:55,760
Cyrus.

1935
01:27:57,400 --> 01:27:59,040
What about Carrie?

1936
01:27:59,040 --> 01:28:00,600
Nothing.

1937
01:28:02,040 --> 01:28:04,320
It's just Carrie.

1938
01:28:06,920 --> 01:28:09,360
What's your middle name?

1939
01:28:13,400 --> 01:28:15,720
( music playing )

1940
01:30:00,400 --> 01:30:02,680
( rock music playing )

1941
01:30:08,200 --> 01:30:11,280
♪ Go on,
make a mistake ♪

1942
01:30:11,280 --> 01:30:16,360
♪ Come on,
let's jump in a lake ♪

1943
01:30:16,360 --> 01:30:19,800
♪ It's
your favorite song ♪

1944
01:30:19,800 --> 01:30:23,560
♪ Watching
the sky turn blue ♪

1945
01:30:23,560 --> 01:30:27,120
♪ You always know
where to find me ♪

1946
01:30:27,120 --> 01:30:29,640
♪ I used to do nothing
of the kind ♪

1947
01:30:29,640 --> 01:30:35,080
♪ See, I'm just sitting here
on this fence ♪

1948
01:30:35,080 --> 01:30:39,560
♪ Watching the sky
turn blue ♪

1949
01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:42,160
♪ Don't you think
it's about time ♪

1950
01:30:42,160 --> 01:30:44,760
♪ About time,
about time ♪

1951
01:30:44,760 --> 01:30:47,320
♪ The sun shine
down on you ♪

1952
01:30:54,360 --> 01:30:57,760
♪ Leave the take,
I'll take the kids ♪

1953
01:30:57,720 --> 01:31:01,640
♪ In the middle
of my coffee break ♪

1954
01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:05,720
♪ You'll find me
on the Ferris wheel ♪

1955
01:31:05,720 --> 01:31:09,800
♪ Watching the sky
turn blue ♪

1956
01:31:09,800 --> 01:31:12,920
♪ Don't you think
it's about time ♪

1957
01:31:12,920 --> 01:31:15,400
♪ About time,
about time ♪

1958
01:31:15,400 --> 01:31:17,480
♪ The sun shine
down on you ♪

1959
01:31:24,720 --> 01:31:27,560
♪ Sun shine down

1960
01:31:27,560 --> 01:31:29,040
♪ Oh, oh

1961
01:31:29,040 --> 01:31:31,360
♪ Sun shine down

1962
01:31:31,360 --> 01:31:33,200
♪ Oh, yeah

1963
01:31:33,200 --> 01:31:35,960
♪ Don't you think
it's about time ♪

1964
01:31:35,960 --> 01:31:38,280
♪ About time,
about time ♪

1965
01:31:38,280 --> 01:31:40,840
♪ Sun shine down

1966
01:31:40,840 --> 01:31:43,600
♪ Don't you think
it's about time ♪

1967
01:31:43,600 --> 01:31:48,280
♪ About time,
about time ♪

1968
01:31:48,280 --> 01:31:51,320
♪ Don't you think
it's about time ♪

1969
01:31:51,320 --> 01:31:53,560
♪ About time,
about time ♪

1970
01:31:53,560 --> 01:31:56,760
♪ The sun shine
down on you ♪

1971
01:32:01,560 --> 01:32:03,320
♪ Watching the sky
turn blue ♪

1972
01:32:03,320 --> 01:32:07,400
♪ Sun shine down

1973
01:32:07,400 --> 01:32:11,000
♪ Sun shine down

1974
01:32:11,000 --> 01:32:13,800
♪ Sun shine down...

1975
01:32:15,600 --> 01:32:19,040
( "In The Hall
of The Mountain King"
by Edvard Grieg plays )