Thousand Son in Equestria, part 1

Saw a hilarious ultramarine in Equestria story yesterday, gonna try a hand at one of these stories.

>Another day, another Black Crusade
>You stand over the broken bodies of the Emperor's Wolves, the hallow shells of your brothers at your side.
>Once, there would be celebration over this victory.
>There would be laughing and joy
>Now there is nothing
>Your brothers cannot laugh with you, cannot celebrate with you
>They are shells, hollow armor animated by Ahriman's accursed Rubric
>You have been waging war for ten thousand years, all in revenge for Prospero's fall
>You sigh in dissappointment,opening a portal into the warp and stepping in, on to the next war, the next Crusade
>Wait, what
>The Warp shudders, the power leaves your control
>You are flung through time and space, blasted off course by a sudden storm in the Warp, a sudden surge of Chaos' might
>You scream, in rage and horror and defiance. You know what happens to those lost in the Warp.
>With a sudden lurch, you are launched back into realspace, sent hurling into what looks like....trees?
>You slam head first into three trees before coming to a halt
>You black out for .3 seconds


>You are awake moments later, the ancient systems of your armor pumping drugs uselessly into your armor's interior
>You see...light?
>Light, from a sun
>Not the corpse-light of burning bodies, or the dancing warpfire you command
>Not the filtered sunlight on a smoke-shrouded world in the thrall of the False Emperor, nor the false light of a warship's halls.
>But light
>Pure sunlight, and true
>It has been centuries since you have seen such a sight
>You would weep if you were still capable of it
>You stand, taking stock of yourself. Your bolter is gone. Your force sword is still mag-locked to your hip. And there are trees.
>And there is sunlight
>In the grim darkness of the 41st millenium, there are sunny days.
>You aren't sure how long you stand there, taking in the sunlight and staring at the living trees
>What returns you to awareness is the voice.
>"Come on Angel, that little chicken couldn't have gone that far."


>A voice. Human, xenos?
>It matters not.
>They will die. It is Tzeentch's wi-
>Wait
>You extend your psychic senses, feeling this world, examining the warp as it flows in the air
>It is quiet here
>No daemons, circling invisibly for souls to feed on.
>Tzeentch's minions do not gibber his will in your ear
>The constant fugue of rage and fear and hatred you have known all your life is not present
>It is quiet.
>You are afraid.
>Suddenly, the speaking thing comes into view. It sees you at once, screams, and runs
>It's....a horse? A winged horse? Xenos? Daemon? Where in the Warp are you?

3/x


>This place
>The Warp is clean here
>There is no hate, little fear, little suffering
>Chaos...you can sense it, a small iota. Somewhere...
>But this world. The sun still shines here.
>A world of peace? Untouched, verdant.
>Tzeentch's endless schemes cannot reach you here. Nor can Magnus. No longer will you have to be reminded day after day of the former glory of the Thousand Sons
>No Rubrics
>No Crusades
>Peace.
>You smile, beneath your helmet, and turn in the direction the tiny yellow xenos horse fled in.
>You still do not know where you are, and ignorance is unacceptable.
>You will follow the creature. Through it, you will learn of it's world.
>Knowledge is power, guard it well.


>Yellow horse is easy to follow
>Her screaming is loud enough to your enhanced ears that she might as well be sonar
>Break out of forest cover, see her again, running into....a cottage?
>Horses build cottages in this world?
>Interesting
>You stoop down to put your helmet level with the cottage's door
"I mean you no harm, yellow horse creature. Come out, and let's talk"
>You put a bit of psychic power into your voice
>You hear a squeak from behind the door, then nothing else
>These creatures must have more willpower than you suspected
>You sigh, then gesture
>Telekinetic power forces the door open
>You stoop and step through
"Now let's have a civil conver-
>Suddenly thrown iron pan to the face
>What
>An iron pan
>Just hit you in the face
>You, a sorcerer of Tzeentch, a Thousand Son, master of the Enumerations, just got a pa-
>THis time it's a carrot
>Catch it with your will, hurl it away
>Look around
>A white rabbit's squeaking and hurling objects at you while the yellow horse cowers in the corner
>This is absurd, no creature is fool-
>Another carrot
"Enough."
>You lift up the rabbit with your will, holding it by the throat
>He's still squeaking angrily at you.
>Tighten your will
>He stops squeaking, starts gasping
>"How DARE you!"
>Little yellow horse is no longer cowering in the corner


>Interesting.
>Yellow horse comes to eye level with you, glaring furiously, wings flapping to keep it aloft
>What does it think it's going to d-
>SWEET TZEENTCH
>It's will latches on to yours like a parasite, battering at your mind
>It's like getting in a chess match with a Lord of Change
>"Put. Angel-bunny. Down."
>You resist as best you can, going through the 31st Enumeration in your head like a mantra
>Start lowering the irritating rabbit against your will
"What in the..."
>Your voice startles the horse
>She blinks
>Contest broken, rabbit drops to the ground.
>Quickly wrap the warp around you, teleporting out of the cottage and back outside, near a tree
>Consider hurling doombolts at the cottage
>Reconsider it once you realize that horse was strong enough to nearly overpower your mind with a stare
>Horse comes out of the cottage, looking around timidly
>Spots you
>Squeaks and runs back inside
>What in the names of all the Gods is wrong with this world?
>You notice what looks like a road outside the cottage. You can follow that, perhaps find information from a less.....strange source.
>Turn to go
>Suddenly pink horse in front of face
>It's grinning like a madman
>Sweet Tzeentch, what now?



>Pink horse takes a deeeep breath.
>"Hiya! You must be the new pony! I'm Pinkie Pie! I know every*** in Ponyville, and we're gonna be best friends!"
>What.
>"Only you're not really a pony more like a minotaur in a funny suit or something but that doesn't matter!"
>What.
>"Hey do you like parties? Every*** likes parties! You seem kinda grumpy. I know how to cheer you up! With a party! hey do you like cupcakes everyone lo-"
>There is no end to the torment.
>You were captured by Dark Eldar once.
>That was less painful.
>Pink creature is still talking.
>Gather the warp.
>"-There was this donkey I met once! He was kinda grumpy, like you only more talkative hey why are you glowing?
>Pink horse's tail starts shaking, you don't pay much attention.
>Lift one hand, unleash the doombolts.
>Screaming purple bolts of death, point blank range.
>Pink pony gasps, darts out of the way of them and starts running.
>She...dodged doombolts. At poink blank range.
>"That wasn't very nice! Unless those were weird magicky partybolts hey I wonder if Twilight knows how to make partybolts-"
>By all the gods of the Warp, it's still talking.
>Roar out in rage, chase pink horse, still hurling doombolts.
>Try to grab it telekinetically.
>It moves out of the way of your will.
>That shouldn't even be possible.
>Too mad to care.
>Chasing it into what looks like a town.
>Confection-colored equines watch in shock
>One of them starts screaming
>"The horror! The horror!"
>Running towards what looks like a house-tree-thing


"I will BREAK you, you pink ABOMINATION."
>Pink horse is still giggling as she runs to the tree-house
>"Twilight! Twilight! There's a thingy outside! Teach him to do partybolts!"
>Start gathering the warp
>If doombolts won't do, you'll burn this irritating thing to ashes
>Door opens, purple horse walks out
>"Pinkie, wha-"
>She gasps in surprise as she notices you, the panicking ponies, and the cracks in the street from doombolt explosions
>"What in Celestia's na-"
>You lift a hand, unleash blue-purple warpfire at the irritating pink creature
>Wall of purple energy blocks your fire
>You turn and look at the pink creature
>Horn is glowing
>You sense her warp-presence
>Another sorcerer, powerful. Very powerful.
>"I'm not sure WHAT exactly is going on, but I'm not gonna let you hurt Pinkie....whatever you are."
>You forget your anger at the pink one for a moment. A psyker, among these creatures? This is a curiosity you cannot ignor-
>Her horn glows, you feel yourself lifted into the air
>Can't have that, now can we?
>Concentrate, she lifts into the air along with you
>She gasps in surprise as you both lift each other with your power, then narrows her eyes.


>"Put. Me. Down."
"After you, purple horse."
>Her eyes widen at the word 'horse', then go white.
>Sudden surge in the warp
>This shall be fun
>Purple-white bolt shoots out of purple horse's horn
>Catch it on a kine-shield, hurl doombolts at horse
>Horse teleports away, landing on the ground, sends out another bolt
>You teleport again, landing behind horse
>Hold out both hands, sending a massive blast of warpfire
>Horse has shield of her own, fire splashes around it
>The force of your fire burns a shallow crater into the street around the both of you
>Horse grits her teeth, sudden telekinetic wave sends you flying
>You slam into the side of a building
>You stand back up, horse gets to her feet as well.
>It feels....good to have such a battle with a strong psyker
>Good enough to calm you down after chasing the pink one
>Purple sends out another telekinetic blast, catch it on your kine shield. The both of you hold that position, spells battling each other for dominance
>She's strong, but you are tireless. Time for distraction.
"What's your name, horse? I like to know my enemy's names before I cr-"
>"Twilight Sparkle. And I'm a pony, not a...a horse. What in Celestia's name are you?"
>She's not weakening. Neither are you
>That name was almost silly enough to distract you.
"I am Anonymous, Sorceror of the Thousand Sons."
>You expect that to rattle her. She shows no sigh of recognition
>She's getting tired, the white fading from her eyes
>You start pushing back with your own magic, chuckling as you do it
>Suddenly rainbow colored blur, and an impact to your helmet



>Concentration rattled
>Telekinetic surge from Twilight slams into your chest
>You slide backwards
>She's not strong enough to hurl you any more
>Reach out with your mind, seeking to invade her mind
>Rainbow blur strikes a second time, impact against your helmet, hard enough to stagger you.
>"OW. Sweet Celestia, it's like kicking a boulder!"
>You turn your head and see ANOTHER horse, this one blue and flying
>"Rainbow, stay back! It knows magic!"
>Turn back to Twilight Sparkle
>She's panting, but determined
>You start to feel this is getting out of hand. You are a Son of Magnus, not some simple berserker.
>You raise one gauntlet in an open palmed gesture.
"As enjoyable as that little duel was, I do not feel that this is necessary. I do not...did not..mean you harm. I came only for the pink one. Her incessant chattering enraged me beyond reason."
>Pinkie Pie lifts her head out of a box of popcorn from the side of the street, starts to say something, changes her mind, and goes back to the popcorn.
>"'The pink one', is Pinkie Pie, Anonymous. She's my friend, and I'm not letting you hurt her."
>Your hand is still raised
"I will cease hostilities, on one condition. I require knowledge about this world, about how it came to be like...this. Do your kind use libraries, do you store knowledge in some way I can unde-"
>You stop speaking
>Twilight has a frankly terrifying look of glee on her face
>The faintest feeling of dread runs down your spine
>Rainbow is shaking her head, and Pinkie is looking at you, horrified



>Next four hours pass in a horrifying blur
>Twilight dragged you telekinetically into the library
>She is horrifyingly strong, even more than when you fought
>Sweet Tzeentch what have you done?
>She's literally jumping for joy
>"You're the first po-ummm, thing that's come to use this library since I've been here! Well, except for Rainbow, but she only wants Daring Doo books and there's so much more he-"
>Pinkie Pie was a mercy
>This, no one deserves this
>Not even the Corpse Emperor deserves this
>For the next four hours, nothing but lectures on 'Equestria,' the Princesses, the 'Elements of Harmony', something about Windigos and a pony named Puddinghead
>None of it gives you the information you seek, about why it's so peaceful, about the Warp being so quiet, about...the sunlight
>"-And then we used the Elements to turn Discord back to stone!"
>You snap out of your trance
>Notice you're sitting cross-legged on the wooden floor of the tree-library, books piled around and on top of you
>Pinkie is patting you on your shoulder-pauldron in pity
>Rainbow must have left
>There is a purple lizard glaring at you
>"You just had to get her wound up, didn't you?"
>BY SLAANESH'S HORRIFYING BOSOM, IT TALKS TOO?


>Okay
>You're calm now
>You snapped a bit when the dragon started talking, but Spike's okay.
>A little bruised around the throat, but okay
>Twilight and Spike both glare at you from where they sit while you pore through her books on your own time
>After all, ANONYMOUS READS AT HIS OWN PACE
>Pinkie's been trying to get you to remove your helmet so she can force-feed you cupcakes for the last hour, and Rainbow's reading Daring Doo while she lays on the staircase
"Alright, Twiligh-"
>"Yeeeees?"
>She has that expression again
"Celestia. Luna. Discord. Elements. Explain those. And ONLY those."
>She huffs and starts explaining, while Spike glares daggers at you in the corner
>The more she talks, the more it makes sense. Discord. The Spirit of Chaos. Of Change. It must have been a Daemon Prince, most probably of Tzeentch. And Celestia and Luna (psykers? sorcerers? xeno-forms, like zoanthropes or hive tyrants) used these 'Elements' to lock Discord away. And with it, somehow, they've locked this world away, kept it cleansed of Chaos' taint.
>That's why you've felt so....peaceful since arriving here
>That's why you can't hear the voices
>And that's why you keep having the irrational urge to march north and break a statue.


>"Alright, your turn."
>You look up, shaken from your thoughts by Twilight's voice
"What?"
>"I taught you about Equestria, now it's your turn. Where do you come from? Are you from across the ocean? Beyond the griffin kingdoms? Are you the last of your kind?"
>Pinkie rolls her eyes, distracted at last from mashing cupcakes against your helmet.
>"Duh, Twilight, he's obviously an alien! Look, he's even got hands, like Lyra talks about all the time!"
>Twilight sighs in exasperation
>"Pinkie, he's obviously not an alie-"
"No, she's technically right, Twilight. I am posthuman, a Legios Astartes."
>Twilight seems upset at the correction
>Pinkie's bouncing
>"See, see, see! He called himself 'hooman,' like Lyra talks about all the time!"
>Hmmm. This 'Lyra' apparently knows much. It might be prudent to speak to her.
>You stand up
"I thank you for the books, Twilight Sparkle. And I apologize again for choking you, Spike. I think now I sho-"
>Pinkie is instantly there
>"ANONYMOUS! YOU CAN'T FORGET YOUR PARTY!"



>Right, the 'party.'
>You think about it
>You havn't done anything but kill and scheme for ten thousand years
>And at the moment, you literally cannot muster the desire to kill
>And your scheming at the moment amounts to 'figure out what in Tzeentch's name is going on.'
>Party. Why the fuck not?
>You nod your head once at Pinkie and she zips out of the door.
>You move to follow, waving the door open.
>And immediately receiving an apple pie to the face.
>"There he is! There's the monster that blew up my cherry stand!"
>You slowly wipe the pie off your face
>Stare out into a crowd of ponies, all bearing torches, pies, and apples
>The one who threw the pie is glaring at you from beneath a Stetson hat
>"Ah got another one whar that came from, ya monster!"



>That's it
>You've had it
>You've had an iron pan, two carrots, a flying, talking blue horse, and now a pie tossed into your face
>You've had enough of this horseshit
>You're furious
>But you're not furious to kill them all
>Which only makes you confused and more furious
>You lift your arms, and telekinetic tendrils lifts the pony mob with them.
>"Anonymous!"
>Twilight yells in alarm from behind you, and Rainbow Dash has gotten up, looking ready to slam into you again
> You hurl your arms outward, and send the mob flying, the telekinetic force pushing Rainbow Dash back from you
>You weave the warp around you and take your leave with a crack of warp sorcery
>Twilight looks on in shock as ponies groan and get back up. There are a few injuries, but no fatalities.
>RD rubs her head from where she slammed into a bookshelf.
>Pinkie looks sad, sitting on her rump with tears in her eyes
>Twilight turns and looks at Spike
>"Okay, he's magically skilled, tough, insane, and violent. The Princess needs to know about this."
>"Spike, take a letter."

End.