Thread 62: Stories 16-30

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

So fucking Non-Canon it hurts, son.

>Pennydrop
"Spike"
__________

>Alright...the truth, then. You're right about one thing -- I do need Infusions, and Titan Magic! Wanna know why?! I have a dream!

"What...?"

>That one day, every pony, every individual, in this nation will control their own destiny! A land of the truly free dammit! A nation of action not words -- ruled by strength, not princesses! Where the law changes to suit the individual, not the other way around! Where power and justice are in back where they belong, in the hands of the people! Where everyone is free -- to think --to act -- For himself! Fuck all these limp-dick royals, and these chicken shit bureaucrats! Fuck this 24/7 media spew of Friendship and celebrity bullshit! Fuck Equestrian Pride -- fuck the media -- Fuck - all of it! Equestria is diseased -- rotten to the core...there's no saving it... We need to pull it out by the roots! Wipe the slate clean -- burn it down! And from the ashes a new Equestria will be born! Evolved but unchained! The weak will be purged -- and the strongest will thrive -- free to live as they see fit! They'll make Equestria great again!

"What the hell are you talking about..."

>You still don't get it! I'm using war as a business to ascend! So I can end war as a business... In my new Equestria, ponies will die and kill...for what they believe! Not for money -- Not for crystals -- Not for what they're told is right! Every pony will be free to fight his own wars! Hah...so, what do you think?

>You should try fighting for what you believe in sometime, Spike the Dragon. Not for a princess, or a nation, or for anyone else.

"Maybe I was wrong about you..."

>Am I finally getting through? I'll rid this world of pointless wars, Spike.

"I was wrong. You're not greedy-... YOU'RE BATSHIT INSANE!

(Commence boss battle)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon
>Pinkie
"Mrs. Cake"
~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but the show must go on! Now for our main guest...MRS. CAKE!!!

"Oh my-"

>I need to make this short and sweet. How are the kids?

"They're doing fine."

>The kids are doing fine! You heard it right here! I feel like I haven't seen them in ages!

"Are you planning to come to their birthday?"

>Of course!
Mrs. Cake wakes up to find Pinkie with Party supplies.
>We should plan this now!

"...but how did? Um...okay."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon
>Spike
"Twilight"
~~~
"Someday, Spike, you and the A-team are gonna be needed again, I promise. We may even need all of you now more than ever with the guard shortage."

>Twilight, it's fine, I'm better. Besides, even without the A-team there's the original Gun Club itself. ... Is it just me or has this night kind of gone on for a bit?

"Huh, now that you mention it, the sun seemed like it set a bit early and we do seem to have been at this for hours. Mind sending a note to Celestia and Luna? See if they're on top of it?"

>Got it.

Meanwhile...

-How doth the evening proceed?-

[Not so great, but I really gotta thank you guys for keeping this up for me.]

:Don't thank us just yet, you've got our paperwork too ahead of you.:

-We find one's tastes questionable, but thine cause is beautiful none-the-less. Besides, We art the one who benefits to know our night is now considered romantic.-

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Poindexter"
'18'
[Cadence]
{Mane-Iac}
~~~~~~

It hit Eighteen, as she watched her moment literally crumble before her eyes and leave her with the equivalent of romantic blueballs, that anyone else would have likely made some comment about how odd it was that so much could go wrong in such a short amount of time.

She knew better.

>Mind telling me what's all this about?

Poindexter positively crumbled beneath his stern, slightly irritated gaze, realizing quite quickly that his life was about to go to the very pits of tartarus in a hoofbasket very shortly.

Feeling just a bit spiteful, Eighteen wished him a long journey.

"Uh... well, you know, I was in the Empire, wanted to hang out a bit, but you guys had your date sooo... I uh... I just decided to hang out with Maney! That's not so bad, right?"

>You are wearing a suit. One which cost aboooout... Honey? Ballpark it.

[About a Striking Cerulean bits, with tip.]

>Eighteen? Translate.

'Five hundred and fourteen bits.'

>Thank you, Cadence, Eighteen. To continue my previous point, that suit is very expensive.

"...It's laundry day?"

The phrase 'deadpan' did that look no justice. The very embodiment of death itself would have shuddered with a chill at how 'dead' that 'pan' was.

>Maney? What have you done so far?

{AHHAHAHAHAH! IT HAS BEEN A GREEEEEAT NIGHT OF WONDERS AND... Well, actually, we mostly just went to a Chineighse restaurant and then swung around a bit... it was fun! Then he said we should go over here... it's pretty!}

>...Wait, we have a- nevermind! So! To once again continue on my previous point, you took Mane-Iac to a restaurant, are wearing a nice suit, and are now in the most romantic spot in the entirety of this whole country, possibly the world.

"...I've heard good things about the falls in Gryphonia, actually-"

>DEX!

"Uh... uhh..."

The stare Shining Armor gave could have melted steel, if only the power within him was not so terrified of what he would do should it attempt an escape.

"...Dang it, Eighteen! The one time you don't go on schedule! The one time! You stuck to it while you were literally crumbling into goo, and yet you pick this night, the one time ever, not to follow that thing you spent hours on!"

>DEX!

'The restaurant burned down... twice.'

"Wait, really?...W-well, you haven't let fire stop you before! What about your show!?"

'Closed due to unforeseen circumstances.'

"...Wow, things have just not been going your way tonight."

'Tell me about it.'

"I'm sorry, do you want to talk about-

>POINDEXTER!

Sadly, his tactic of 'change the subject and pretend this never happen' was about as effective as 'take on Chitania armed with a cap-gun and a dream'. Nothing left to do, he switched gears.

"...Oops?'

>OOPS!? Freaking OOPS!? You... do you have any idea what Chrysalis will do to you when she finds out!? She will literally cast fire from the heavens upon you! I have no idea why you would think she wouldn't, she's done it once already! Giant fireball, Dex! She tried to throw a giant fireball at you!

"S-she, uh... she's not here. Not around, I mean."

>Oh good, even better! So when she finds out because someone noticed you swinging around with only pony who's hair is ALIVE... I think?

{AHAHAH! NO IDEA!}

>Moot point, because when she finds out she will now know you waited until she was gone and I was preoccupied! No, this is better, this is waayyyyy better! Now she's going to go from 'giant fireballs' to 'Nightmare Moon', we are looking at a full Nightmare Moon scenario! Only instead of jealousy, it's RAGE!

{...Is anyone else lost? I have no idea what's going on. Why would Insectoria be mad?}

[Just sit there and wait, sweetie, it'll make sense in a bit.]

{AHAHAHA! EXCELLENT!... Because I am so lost.}

'Better than what I am right now, I'll tell you that much.'

"Come on, Shiny! I mean, it's not like you would actually let her hurt me, right? You'd have my back!"

>You went behind my back too! You know I was trying to help you, but this is a bit much!

"Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

>The permission thing is all that's keeping her from losing her mind!

"Well, I was sick of waiting!"

Nobody, not a one of them, expected Poindexter to move forwards until he was face to face with the Empire's Prince.

Then again, they probably should have just assumed it was going to go that way just by sheer virtue of the fact.

"Look, I've been sitting around since Partyland, Shiny! I've been just sitting and waiting for one of you guys to step forwards, but nobody did! Well... I'm sick of waiting! I'm sick of just being sat on the sidelines and waiting in fear because someone ELSE might be a little mad if I treat her like an actual pony instead of just someone she can use to blow off steam!"

>It's not like that and you know it! She's her friend, Dex, you know she's her friend, and she's just trying to look out for her!

"Maney can make her own decisions! Eighteen, back me up on this!”

He had expected at least some help from that corner, she had certainly been pivotal in providing it before. He did not expect the glare. It did, however, tell him without words he would be getting no assistance from her.

“...I wanted to hang out, she said yes, that should have been the end of it!"

>You know it's different with her!

"Well, good! That's why I like her! I like her because she's different! I like her BECAUSE it's not the same like it is with anyone else! She's actually lively and crazy and she goes her own way and doesn't worry about everything!"

{Thanks!}

>You know that's not what I mean!

"Why does everyone think it's about 'that'!? You, of all ponies, should know it's not about 'THAT'!"

{Wait, 'that' what? What is 'that'?}

'Superhero stuff.'

{BLAST! I still do not understand that so well.}

>I'm not saying you're like that, come on! I know you better than that.

"It sure doesn't sound like it! It sounds like you think I'm just some sort of nerdy creep like everyone else!"

>I don't think that!

"No, you know what? You should be on my side with this! I busted my hump helping you win over Cadence, and now you want to side with Chrysalis!? CHRYSALIS!? After what she did to you!?"

>I'm not siding with Chrysalis! I'm just worried about her! Come on, Poindexter, she doesn't get most of reality yet!

"Fine! That's fine! She can learn it! It's a big world, why shouldn't she be able to see it!?"

>Because we don't know what that will do to her!

{...Wait, what? What will this do to me?! Will I TRANSFORRRM into something else!?}

[That's what we're talking about, honey.]

"Well, why don't we find out instead of freaking out about it!?"

>And what if it negatively effects her, huh!? What if she loses her powers because she's tuned more into this world? What if her current insanity becomes REAL insanity? What if she just isn't HER anymore!?

{WHAT!? LOSE MY MANACLE MAAAAANE OF MISCHIEF!? NO! NOOOOOOOOOO!}

Sudden, very vivid flashbacks to his high school years of being socked right in the gut came back to the bespectacled pony.

"She... she wouldn't change that much."

>Oh, good, you know that? Good! That's great, you clearly have proof and just didn't get a chance to show me. Sorry, I jumped to conclusions. Please, present it so we can all go about with our night.

The sarcasm bled from his voice like foam pouring out of a rabid dogs mouth, just as dangerous and offsetting.

Pointedly, the earth pony looked away.

It hit him, immediately after, just what it was he had done.

>Dex, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to come out like that, I just-

"I can't believe you."

He shoved forwards once more, practically pressing his snout to Shining Armor's face.

"I can't believe you! You're on a date with TWO mares right now, and you're lecturing me for wanting to spend time with Maney!? I can't believe you!"

>That has nothing to do with anything! I just-

"What happened to you, Shining!? What happened to my FRIEND who would back me no matter what!? What happened to the FRIEND I backed no matter what!? You said all this power and position wasn't going to change you, but you know what? You've changed. You've changed so much I don't even recognize you. All you care about is making your MARES happy and who cares about anything else, right!"

Everyone, even the unflappable insane mare Mane-Iac, dropped their jaws when they watched Shining Armor shrink away, hurt.

>It's not like that! It's not-

"The hay it isn't! You just think you know what's best for everyone now, and we all just have to wait for YOU to handle it and sit on our hooves until you get your life together enough to deal with it!"

>I'm trying to help you!

"Well, you're FAILING."

For such a little guy, it sure looked like he had almost knocked Shining Armor right out with an invisible blow.

"I don't care if Chrysalis comes after me, I never did! I never did because I always knew that you would have my back and would pick me first if it came down to a fight, but now? Now I don't even know anymore. I figured you would take my side and help me first and then worry about this other crap later, but. I don't even know anymore."

>That's not true! I would never let her-

"I don't even know, Shining... I don't even know."

The spindly little nerd at last backed away from the hardened soldier he had all but pinned down, looking defeated.

"...I don't even know who you are anymore. Maybe it's a good thing I never amounted to anything important, maybe it's a good thing nobody cares about me, at least I'm still my own loser self. Who are you, now?"

He may have been the prince of one of the most wealthy countries on the planet, he may have repelled invasion, he may have been one of the most influential beings alive.

But right now, Shining Armor felt like something you would wipe off your hoof in disgust.

Beside them, Mane-Iac just whipped her head back and forth, a frown of horrified confusion upon her face as she desperately tried to understand what was going on.

For reasons she could not articulate, it bothered her that all she could think of was-

{Why aren't they punching? They're fighting, right? Shouldn't they be punching?}

[Different kind of fight, Maney.]

{...There are other kinds?}

But Poindexter ignored her, still locked in his beaten looking once-friend.

"Who are you?"

~HE'SH A DICK IS WHO HE ISH!~

>...No...

There was no creature in the foulest depths of the catacombs that could have instilled the level of horror he felt right there.

'Oh good, was worried this wasn't going to get worse.'

[Who are they?]

'A sign that some higher deity hates me. Fair warning? I am considering assisting Chitania in her quest. I am seriously considering helping her.'

-YOU SHEEE!?-

Two ponies stumbled in from the darkness, wrapping their hooves around the shocked earth pony.

~Desh, I told ya'!~

-WE told ya'!-

~Buh noooo! He'sh nuh a bag guy, ya said!~

-Ain't that bad, ya said!-

~WELL LOOKIT HIM NOW!~

The white pony backed off from the three, still stricken. Poindexter, smushed in the middle of a way too tight embrace, could only stare on, baffled.

>Gaffer, 8-bit, I do not need this right now.

(TOO BAD!)

[...Oh, dear.]

'What, she hates him too!?'

[Understatement.]

{AHAHAHH! I AM SOOOO LOOSSSSSTTAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! THE MADNESS! IT IS GOOOD!}

A yellow pegasus shoved by the princess, uncaring that she practically knocked her over, or the fact it looked like the changeling was about to shoot her with a laser beam, and marched right up to Shining Armor.

>Okay, YOU I do not need right now. What are you doing in my Empire!?

Shock rippled through the entire group. In a split second, he had changed, completely and utterly shifted. They could barely believe what they saw as he once more rose to his full height, and the look of utter pain on his face was replaced by sheer, brutally barren annoyance.

The only one unmoved was, coincidentally, the one who had the same look upon her face. None other than the ex-captain of the Wonderbolts.

(Oh, you know, figured I'd come down to test the drinks. You know, got a lot of free time to travel now that I'm UNEMPLOYED!)

>Oh hey, they finally kicked you out? What a shock! Took them long enough!

(I quit because I couldn't handle dealing with ponies like YOU anymore!)

>No yeah, I can see how that would be a problem to a pony like YOU.

(And just what does that mean!?)

>You know what that means!

(Do I!?)

>No, you know what!? Who cares! Why are you here!?

(Well I WAS going to leave on the next train! But surprise surprise! I actually found someone I like over here! A couple ponies who aren't just bowing down to the great Shining Armor and sucking his-)

>HEY! Not in front of Maney!

(Who?)

Happily, Mane-Iac waved.

(...The cosplayer?)

"Not a cosplayer. Long story. Just do what he says."

(Pfft, who cares! I've finally got PROOF you're a dick! Everyone else thinks you're this great guy, but it turns out you're just nice to mares you want to ride, and just use everyone else! Isn't that right guys?... Guys?)

Softly, both 8-bit and Gaffer snored away.

(...They cannot hold their liquor.)

>Yeah, they're lightweights. But fine! Now you have other ponies who think I'm a jerk! Why don't you all just go get on a train and have a great big “We hate Shiny” party and get out of my Empire! And hey! Now you can add in Poindexter because apparently I just cannot stop screwing up around here no matter how hard I try to help everyone!

(Not that you tried very hard!)

>You don't even know the meaning of trying hard!

(Oh yeah!?)

>Yeah!

(OH YEAH!?)

>YEAH!

(OH YEAH!?)

>YE-

CRACK went the sound.

Smack went the jaws as they hit the ground.

And thump went the body as it was downed.

(That hard enough for you!?)

[OH MY GOSH SHINY!]

'WHY YOU LITTLE!'

{IMPRESSIVE!}

The mare nodded proudly, idly blowing on her stinging hoof.

(Yeah, I'm pretty amazing-)

His mother had taught him never to hit a mare.

Unless she hit you first.

In which case she got knocked the fuck out.

...He hoped his mother wouldn't be disappointed that Spitfire had retained consciousness.

'HO!'

[SHINY! What are you doing!?]

'Right in the jaw...'

{AHAHAHHAHA! WHAT AN AMAAAAAZING BLOW, LUMINOUS SHIELD!}

Spitting out a bit of red, Spitfire got right to her hooves.

(So, it's like that, is it?)

>Oh, it's like that.

(Right here?)

>You really want it to be right here?

(You gonna call your little bi-)

>HEY!

(Pfft... gonna call your little 'girl dogs' out to fight?)

{LUMINOUS SHIELD HAS DOGS!? WHERE!?.... I WISH TO PET THEM!}

>No, you know what?... Cadence? Eighteen? Maney? Don't get involved.

[S-Shiny?]

'This... this is going to end badly isn't it?'

>In fact, no guards, no nothing. Anyone tries to get in tell them not to.

(You really think you can handle this, you little marshmallow?)

>You want to test me? Fine, let's finally end this and never see each other again. I'm sick of you, you're sick of me, let's just do this and be gone. But fair warning? I, am going to KICK. YOUR. A-

There was a sonic boom.

And suddenly there was naught but a red streak where Shining Armor had been.

{…..AHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Okay! At last! This part I understand! I understand this at last! GOOOOOO LUMINOUS SHIELD! DEFEAT FLAMARE!}

So caught up in her cackling and joyous understanding of the fight going down, none heard the small voice coming from beneath the two ponies slumped over him.

“H-hey? Can someone help? I'm not... I can't get them off. They're heavy, and I don't know if you noticed but I don't work out... help?”

There was only one who heard him.

And as that black, chitinous face turned to him, he wished he had just stayed quiet.

“...Uh...”

He felt a terrifying, crushing guilt weigh down on him as she continued to stare. No hate, no anger, just a blank, terrifying face.

The face of the one who had supported him and covered for him a lot through all of this.

Who's special night she had been dreaming of was ruined.

....By him.

“...I-I'm sorry...”

Slowly, the face turned back away, and he went quiet.

'...this is the worst night ever...'

{AHAHAHHAHAHAHA!}

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"Applejack no! This balcony isn't big enough for the both of us! It will collapse at any moment with our combied weight! Flee! Flee before it is too late!"

>Ah hah, so funny. Ah Ain't gettin' that fat.

"I beg to differ. I can see tiny rocks starting to orbit around you. You haven't been working out here recently, have you?"

>...A-Ah' have so!

"You've just been sitting in a desk, not so much as lifting a hoof."

>No! Ah've... Ah' mean, Ah' helped out when Ah' visited mah family...

"Jetset said you kicked one tree and were in so much pain you had to stop."

>...O-oh no! Yer' right! Ah've gotten so lazy here recently! Ah' haven't bucked a single tree in months! What's becomin' o' me!? Am'h gettin' fat! AH'M TURNIN' INTA A FAT CANTERLOT PONY!

"Oh, it's not that bad."

>IT IS!

"Well, if you want, I do have a private gym..."

>...R-really?

"Yes. And it's yours, all yours. Go, Applejack! go get back in shape, go on and return to your previous, amazing form!"

>Ah' will... AH' WILL!

"Hurry!"

>...

"..."

>...Right after Ah' ask this question-

"DAMN!"

*LEAP!*

*....*

*CRASH!*

>....Friggen call me fat...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Highly Canon-debatable
>Garble
"Baff"
'Spear'
-Vex-
[???]
~~~
A isolated farmhouse, its pony inhabitants chased out, a band of dragons reap the fruits of their cruelty

"Quite a haul, dude, whoda thunk ponies knew how to live decently in shit shacks like these."

>Still nothing great, just some cattle and a handful of jewelry. Speaking of which, pass that rib rack right up.

'You got it, boss. So what's next after this?'

>Well, for starters, all this is just a test, so we're gonna bum around here a little longer to see if anyone shows.

'Whaddya mean, Garble?'

-Idiot, read the news sometime!-

Vex tosses a copy of the Hive Gazette bringing up the recent anemic state of the guards

"Oh, man, that's rich! One little weed outbreak and those faggots up and quit?"

>Lame, huh? But you know what that does mean? No one's gonna give a shit when we hit up the next place, or the place after that, or the place after that-

BLAM!

>Son of a fuck, my arm!

Vex tries to get up and is flash frozen into his seat

-C-C-C-So c-c-cold!-

[Well, well, well... What have we here?]

"Fizzle? First Dragon, what's happened to you?"

[Like my new look? It's only gonna get better with some new infusions coming in. I thought I'd track my old clan down, say a little 'hi' before I go my own way again.]

>And you do that by shooting me in the arm? You're a faggot, Fizzle! Still a lame, cocksucking faggot and all you are now is just crazy!

Fizzle's claws begin to spark and crackle with lightning, random bits of flesh popping from the electrical current beneath the scales.

[No, shooting you was how I knock. This is my new 'hi'. Hi!]

A flash of lightning and the farmhouse went up in flames.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Twilight"
'Rarity'
-Spike-
~???~

Focus. That's what she needed to do, focus. She could do this, it was such a simple task...

It was only lying to the Elements of Faust damned Harmony...

>Alrigh', next!

The off-white unicorn in the nurse's uniform trotted into the room, clearing her throat.

~Uhm...evening, your majesties...and not-majesties...oh, and Commander.~

A few smiles, great, progress.

>Well yer politer than most who come in here.

'Quite refreshing, what is it you need, darling?'

~Well, first of all, hi, my name is Triage, from the Castle Infirmary, I was looking to ask for some leave if it isn't too much trouble...~

Humble, Triage, humble, supplicate like you've never supplicated before.

>Now when ya'll say leave, is it 'cuz of the mushrooms?

~Hm? Oh no no no...well kinda...~

"With most of the guard turning in their papers, we're a bit leery of this kind of thing, you understand, right?"

~Well it's just...like, the DAY before the mushrooms showed up, my coltfriend just up and left...I think you signed his papers, Princess.~

>Huh... 'bout yea high? Pegasus? Smarmy grin?

-Complete douche?-

Flash a small smile, you like their humor. Good girl.

~That's High Roller...I'm just...that AND the mushrooms, it's kind of put me in a really really bad place and I don't know if I'm fit for duty. I'd just like a little leave to visit family in Trotsburg and get my head straight. Unpaid, I'm no moocher.~

'Oh you poor dear, that sounds more than reasonable.'

>Yeah, heck, we wouldn't really just let ya go unpaid, at least you sound like ya'll come back. Two weeks, right?

~Mhm.~

>Go on ahead, see your family, I know it did me good after that disaster. Yer work'll be waitin' when you come back.

~Thank you, Princesses, Commander...uhm, Pinkie Pie.~

>Have a good'un.

Trot out, look happy, you got what you wanted and they didn't get their time wasted.

Out the door...and now...

~Time to get the fuck out of dodge.~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-canon
>Pinkie
"Mrs. Cake"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, just like my show! Now for our main guest...MR. CAKE!!!

"Pinkie? Why am I-"

>I'm glad you're here because...Did I leave my party canon at your place?

"Oh, yes you did. Did you want me to bring it over or are you going to pick it up?"

>I'll be by to pick it up.

"Okay, when do you want to pick it up?"
He wakes up to Pinkie standing over him.

>Right now!

"...of course."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>42
"2"
~~

As she at last settled into bed, Forty Two let out a breath of relief.

>Are you comfortable?

In response, she just snuggled deeper into her plush, quite soft looking blankets.

>Good. If you require a drink, ring your bell so the servants may assist you. Shining will be here in the morning when you awaken. Have a pleasant rest.

"Forty Two?"

She cursed inwardly. So close to finally walking away, so close...

"Could ya'... tell me a story?"

>...I am not very good at stories.

"I know, but Not-mom ain't here."

>...Chrysalis tells you stories?

"Yeah!... I ain't supposed to tell you what they're about, though, it's a secret!"

Horrifying, terror filled images flooded her mind.

>...They're not something Shining would disapprove of, would he?

"No, silly! Shiny likes 'em too!"

>Well, that's a relief. But I suppose I can manage one story before bed.

She cleared her throat.

>There once was a very bad changeling. The other changelings didn't like him. So another changeling punched him until he died. The end.

"..."

>... is that sufficient?

"...Why was he bad?"

>Irrelevant.

"Oh... who was the changeling that punched him?"

>Did not have a name.

"Was... was it a big fight?"

>No, they were both of average size.

"Did he have a special power?"

>He could fly and shoot lasers.

"...anythin' else?"

>I felt those powers were sufficient.

"..."

Suddenly feeling very unsettled beneath her confused, blank look, the soldier once more cleared her throat and began to shuffle slightly.

>...I warned you I was not very good at stories.

"I liked the part with the punchin'."

>Punching is easy, comparatively.

"...Wanna try again?"

>It will not be any better.

"Come on, ya' gotta at least try, don't ya!"

A defeated sigh left her lips, and she once more settled in place.

>...There once was a... prince. A prince who... was evil?

"Why was he evil?"

>Because... because he was under a curse by a magical... crown?

"Oh no!"

>Yes, and the crown made him very... mean to everyone. By making them build stupid things that served no purposes, like statues. Statues of... puppies.

"But puppies are cool!"

>These were... ugly puppies?

"They ain't gotta be pretty!"

>They're ugly because they were puppies who hated kittens, and ate...

"..."

>...A-ate all of their food.

"Oh! JERKS!"

>Yes. So, the prince made everyone work all day without a break, and when they tried to rebel, he shot them with his magical crown.

"OH NO!"

>One of his subjects escaped and found a fighter that the ponies loved, and the fighter decided that it had to stop. They came over and-

"Who were they?"

>...A mare?

"Were they a changeling?"

>...No, ponies liked her, a lot of them.

"...And?"

>...Let's just go with unicorn.

"Oh, okay."

>So the unicorn told the prince to stop, but they wouldn't because they were still being controlled, so the fighter started punching him.

"Why didn't she use her magic?"

>Because punches are better! First she started out with a left hook, moved into a uppercut, knocked them back with a chest blow and then when they were far away used a dive-punch before moving onto a hoofstrike on their side and a couple rabbit-punches on their head before jumping back and then using a chin-tap, a couple kidney punches, a left strike and then a roundhouse before finishing them off with a haymaker moving into a suplex.

"....A-and the prince was still alive?"

>Not if she did it right.

"..."

>...Which she didn't, because she realized he was being controlled and decided to spare him.

"Y-yay!"

>Still, she had to get the crown off of him, so she punched it and it came off.

"...Probably should'a started with that..."

>What? But then she wouldn't have punched him, and the story would have ended the minute she got in the door. That would have been boring.

"Yeah... guess so?"

>Are you more satisfied with that one?

"...Wait! What happened afterwards?"

>The prince was nice again because he wasn't wearing the bad crown, the end.

"But what about the fighter?!"

>She left.

"...What!? Didn't she get a thanks!?"

Forty Two went quiet, contemplative, thoughtful.

>...She did not need one.

"Why not?"

>Because she saved the prince, why would she need a thanks?

"Oh..."

>Sometimes, you're not going to get thanks for doing the right thing, Two. Sometimes ponies, and changelings, aren't going to be appreciative for what you did regardless of how hard it was to do it or how much they needed it to be done. Sometimes you have to do it because it's your duty, and just accept you doing a good job is reward enough.

She looked a bit crestfallen at that answer, maybe a bit disappointed.

"Oh..."

>Is that less sufficient?

"...It just sounds like everyone gotta happy ending but her."

She went quiet again, her helmet tilting just a bit forwards as her head leaned slightly.

>...everyone was safe... that is a happy ending.

Two didn't answer, curling up into her bed with sleepy, sleepy eyes instead. Smoothly, Forty Two pulled the covers over her, and softly brushed her mane.

>Sleep well, Two. I will see you in the morning.

Soft breaths were her only answer. Quietly, the soldier began to leave.

"Hey, Forty Two?"

She froze, just at the thresh hold of the door.

"...Thanks."

>...No need. It is merely my duty.

"Yeah... there is...."

The soft sounds of snores filled the room, and without a sound the changeling was gone.

>...No...

Only a corner of her lip twitched as she looked around the great halls, in the great castle, in the great Empire.

In her home.

>...There isn't...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
"Celestia"
~~

>Hey, Tia? Got a question.

"And I have a PUNCH!"

*SMACK!*

>OW! WHAT IN THE NAME OF TARNATION!?

"...Oh dear."

>YA'LL JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE HEAD!

"I'm sorry! I meant to miss you and just knock off your hat! It was just supposed to scare you!"

>Well ya' didn't! OW!

"I'm sorry!"

>You should be!

"...Aren't farm girls supposed to-"

>NO! Don't you be playin' stereotypes ta' cover this up, that HURT!

"I'm sorry I said!"

>Well ya' clearly didn't mean it!

"I do! Just tell me what I can do to make it up to you!"

>...All yer' cakes for a week.

"NO!"

>Ya' want ta' make it up ta' me, right?

"...No."

>Want it ta' be a month?

"NO!"

>Tia.

"...I'll give you SOME for a week."

>Celestia...

"...Fine! YOU CRUEL MONSTER!"

>Good. Glad we got that cleared up.

"...You're not even hurt, are you?"

>Nope. But there ain't no goin' back on yer' word now.

"MONSTER! Cruel, cruel monster!"

>...

"..."

>...Now about Mah' question-

"CELESTIA SEASON, FIRE!"

*BLAM!*

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>18
"Cadence"
'Mane-Iac'
[Poindexter]
~~~

It was a well known fact around the Empire that while Shining Armor was most likely the greatest Shieldcaster alive, there was a contender for this title that, perhaps, surpassed even him in shield prowess.

His wife.

This fact was most interesting to one of the group that remained on the sidelines of the brawl currently taking place.

For what good was a changeling if they could not use well known traits in their cover?

>NO NO NO!

This, the others reasoned, was why she had been consumed in flames and taken the appearance of the princess Cadenza Mi Amore. For while she was not even remotely within their same league, let alone on their lowest level, the changeling known as Applejack Eighteen was also a known user of shield spells. Of course, on most days those spells were made to contain and transport large chunks of paperwork, not really to reflect bodies being bounced off it.

But she was nothing if not a quick learner.

>NO NO NO NO NO! NOT THAT! DON'T! BAD! NO!

The others had, at first, assumed this some misguided attempt to protect the prince and separate them before the battle grew out of control.

They were quite wrong.

>DO YOU TWO HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH IT WOULD COST TO REPAIR ONE OF THOSE!? These crystal spires are worth a fortune! It would take a huge amount to repair-NO! NOT THE ROAD! That's a commuting road! They need that to travel! Commerce would slow down for a whole day and backlog-NONONONO NOT THE APARTMENT! THAT'LL SEND THEIR INSURANCE THROUGH THE ROOF.... THAT WAS NOT A CHALLENGE GET AWAY FROM THE BUILDING!

She ran to and fro, spasticly casting magic upon whatever surface they were about to land upon.

>DON'T BREAK IT DON'T BREAK IT!

All the while, that other notable shield maker, Cadence, sat off to the side, her horn uselessly sputtering sparks that just would not form into proper magic.

"Come on... come on..."

But no matter how she focused, it would not come.

But even as those two struggled for their own reasons, one did not share their plight.

'AHHHAHAHAH! LUMINOUS SHIIIEEEELLLD IS QUITE IMPRESSIVE, NOOOOOOOO!?'

Mane-Iac, at least, was enjoying herself quite a lot.

'THIS BAAAAATTTTLE IS JUST LIKE HOME! A BATTLE BETWEEN THE FOOOOOOOOOLISH FORCES OF GOOD AT THE WHIMS OF.... of... why are they doing this again?'

"They're mad at each other, Maney!"

>WHY!? WHAT THE HECK DID SHE DO!?

[...Actually? I kind of want to know that too, he seemed really mad when I brought her up.]

>YOU SHUT UP! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!

[...sorry...]

The princess at last gave up with a slump, slinking back into the shadows on the off chance a citizen walked by and noticed there were two of her out there.

"I don't know. Shiny and her used to be friends! Good friends! They used to spend hours together alone, and came back all sweaty and looking winded!"

Later, the maintainer of the nice fountain in the middle of the park would be thankful that, for all her faults, Mane-Iac could pick up on certain cues, such as Eighteen preventing damage to the surrounding area, and understood enough to step up when said changeling faltered in her quest and put those tendrils to good use snapping the pair away.

She didn't know WHY they were concerned about property damage, it was something she did all the time and for very little reason, and it would always be fixed by the next one, but it seemed important, and she liked being helpful.

>...W-what?

She was somewhat oblivious when she made accidental innuendo, but nobody was that oblivious.

"I MEAN they used to love training together! They were both captains! They spent forever just... doing stuff! But around the time you guys arrived he just... he started being really mad at her. And trust me, she hated him a LOT too. He wouldn't even talk about her, anytime I tried he just cut me off and changed the subject."

>And you never asked about this?

"No? I thought he'd just tell me if it was serious."

Blandly, she looked over to the battling pair, wincing when she heard the sounds of hoof beating meat.

>...Gonna go out on a limb here and say he did not.

"I didn't think it was this bad...."

[S-sorry, I think I-]

>Poindexter? Seriously? Shut up. You just... you shut up right now. You shut up and do not talk. I really, really do not want to hear you talk right now.

He was never much of a confrontational sort, and he doubted that would be any better with the hurt in his chest. So, with nothing else to do, he hushed.

This, unfortunately, distracted the maned wonder with confusion long enough for one of them to slip past her defenses.

>NO! NOT THE FRUIT CART! THAT'S SOMEONE'S LIVELYHOOD!

Thankfully, Eighteen was very considerate to the lives of those in the fruit distribution industry, and cast a shield just in time.

The salvation of said citrus filled delights did nothing to help her mood.

>THIS IS THE WORST NIGHT EVER!

It did everything for the other one, though.

'AHAHHAAHHAHA! I DISAGREEEEEEEE!'

Forgotten by all in their own concerns, Cadenza Mi Amore just sat her quite flat bottom upon the ground, and hid herself even lower in the shadows.

All it would take to stop the fight is a single heart, she reasoned. A single bout of magic above them would quell all ill feelings.

...And yet, just like the rest of her magic, it would not come. Once again, she had to rely on others to do the work for her, while she could only watch.

"...No... Eighteen's right..."

Hidden away, she could only hope the changeling could protect the land better than she could.

"...This is the worst night ever..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sunset Shimmer

###############
A vibrant, shimmering light of raw magic emanates from the surface beneath the archway of the portal that has been placed into the solitary study within the Crystal Empire's castle. Few would blame Princess Cadance for placing it here and forgetting about it during the turbulent times that had come and gone since then. But for one pony, who stumbles through the mirror and creating ripples like water upon a pond in her passing, it would prove be a mixed blessing.

Straightening and shaking off the cobwebs that cloud the mind after passing from one world to another, the strangely dressed mare tightens the straps of the saddlebags upon her back to conform to her new shape. This is followed by a quick glance around, then across herself.

The amber-coated unicorn mare's body was clad in the riveted leather jacket, hugging her forelegs all the way down to the hooves. A smug smile splits the lips of the crimson-and-yellow maned mare, cyan eyes narrowing.

>Well, that's a good thing. I would've felt naked without clothes after all these years.

Her horn taking on the signature glow of her eyes, she goes over the few components she had decided to take along for the ride back to Equestria. Everything was where it was supposed to be, in its original shape.

A pleased shiver runs down Sunset Shimmer's back. She couldn't wait to see the face her former mentor would make when she presented her with the fruits of her research from the other world. The moment is spoiled by a ray of light shining through below the threshold of the door, accompanied by the signature clip-clop of hooves and the faint rubbing of metal against metal hinting at the arrival of a Guard.

Pressing herself flat to one of the walls besides the door's hinges, she waits with bated breath for him or her to enter and check the room. But they never did. They pass the door as if was either none of their concern or not part of their routine. After a few moments to ensure the Guard was out of direct line-of-sight, she darts over and carefully opens the door, eyes flicking left and right.

Long hallways of shimmering, pure crystal left and right, adorned with tapestries that looked like from another time period that didn't hide the sharp, angular geometry. It was a bit alienating, but she wasn't about to debate where she was and why the mirror had been placed here. Once more, her horn glows, the former student of Celestia casting a sound-dampening spell onto her four hooves, each giving off a muted light, exchanging silence for visibility.

Counting on speed being her ally to pass between patrols, she speeds down several hallways, down long-winding flights of stairs. Unfortunately, there had been two close calls. One when she almost ran into the ass of a Guard who had taken to watching something in the distance outside the window just around a corner she took with too much speed. That would've been an embarrassing return. Brought before the Princess due to the necessity to have her head removed from a shimmering, see-through stallion's ass. No, she would've preferred being directly tossed back out after that, thank you.

The second close brush came when she found herself trapped in a cross-shaped junction with guards coming from three ways. The dedication they put to their work plus their number was frankly astounding, a far cry from what she was used to in Canterlot castle back when she still studied under the princess' watchful eye. She had been prepared for them to be slouched over, nodding off, talking loudly and not being on their posts. Not stoned-face, hawk-eyed veteran troops.

Hiding her sleek form within an alcove, she casts a simplified Invisibility enchantment over her own body. The guards give each other an unspoken sign everything on their route had been without incident, then crossed paths and continued, allowing Sunset to follow another path downstairs.

Risking discovery for just a moment by teleporting within her line-of-sight beyond an open window to leave the majestic castle behind leaves her heart thumping. It had been oddly thrilling; a challenge of her as-of-late scarcely used magical prowess. She counted herself lucky when she found a map positioned at an easily visible position on the promenade ahead to help with orientation. Whoever ran this place certainly was miles ahead of Canterlot, from her experience.

She locates the marker for a train station and finally identifies her current whereabouts as the 'Crystal Empire'. She briefly envisions the face of her teacher, the only princess of Equestria. And one of the laziest monarchs she had ever the displeasure of knowing personally. She just hoped she could stem the bile from coming up her throat when she had to talk to her.

A brisk shake of her head brings Sunset Shimmer out of that dark train of thought and by taking a deep breath of the cool night air she calms her frayed nerves. She was here to try better, to ask for a second chance. And archive the unchallenged greatness she had once had dreamed of and still deserved to attain. Just a little differently from what she once planned. She needed to get up-to-date with current events in Equestria first, though.

The sounds of things breaking, both masonry, wood and crystal somewhere in the distance causes her to break out of her reverie and accelerate to a gallop, taking off towards her destination. She didn't know what caused that ruckus, but she didn't want to be involved in it.

Here was hoping this place had night train schedules to Canterlot Castle.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>~What's this? What's this? There's robots everywhere! What's this? Ponies with laser hair! What's this!? There's strange black monsters wandering the streets this isn't fair! What's this?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

>WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!? OH DEAR CELESTIA YOU LOOK LIKE SOMEONE CROSS BRED A PONY WITH A RAISIN AND THEN MADE IT A VAMPIRE!

"...Hurtful..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC

Sunset Shimmer is in an outside cafe in Canterlot, trying to digest how much the world around her has changed. Chitania stomps past in Titan form, singing "I'm walking on sunshine, ohoo!' at the top of her lungs, just as she takes a drink of water.

>PRRRRRRRRRRFFFHHTT!

'Dear Diary. Today, I saw a beautiful rainbow... I also suspect Celestia has begun saturating the air with hallucinogenic drugs to keep the unhappy populace in line. I will have to stitch together a Hazmat suit before I confront her.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________