Miscast - Chapter 2

>Day 2 in Equestria

>Yeah, technically day two, but you're pretty sure it's freakin' midnight.
>Sleeping in midair was awesome. No gravity, perfect slumber.
>Sleeping on a fucking bookcase wall is not working out for you.
>Twilight's still passed out on the floor.
>Spike made his way upstairs.

>...

>Not sleeping is boring.
>With no options left, you decide to explore a bit.
>You make your way to the door, stopping once again to think about your actions.
>She's gonna freak the fuck out if she wakes up and you're gone.
>Not that you particularly care.
>It'll just be hell to deal with later.
'I'll be back by morning...'
>You think to yourself.
>Time to do some looking around.

>You sneak out of the house.
>Turning around to see where you've been...
>It's a tree.
>A giant fuckin' tree.
>Explains why the wood paneling was so nice.
>Stepping out of the shade of the tree, you are basked in the radiant glow of the moon.
>Holy hell that fucker's bright.
>It's like another sun.
>Beautiful, honestly.
>So much for sneaking around.
>You retreat back into the shade of the tree-house, and sit down on the grass.
>You notice many residences and shops in the nearby area.
>A place for sweets, what looks like a dance club, a ton of houses, a florist/cafe...
>Odd combination, but hey, they ARE p0nies.
>At least you assume so.
>It seemed like the tiny dragon was the p0ny's servant.
>Maybe they employed slaves?
>Barbaric p0nies!

>You've seen enough of the nightlife.
>By that you mean none.
>You open the door and step back inside.
>You weren't as sneaky as you thought.
>A up and alert Twilight, eyes distorted from a mix of sleepy and crazy staring at you.
>ohshit.png
>"Where were you...?"
>Her voice sounds like a soothing sonnet of death.
>The closest to truly concerned you can get while still being fucking insane.
"Look, I didn't go anywhere, alright? I sat outside for a few minutes, I swear!"
>She continues to stare daggers.
>...
>She doesn't say a word or move a muscle.
>...
"Hello?"
>...her eyes flutter shut.
>She collapses, falling flat on the floor, passed out.
>Boy, that magic must take a lot out of her.

>Knowing how un-fucking-comfortable this floor is, you look for somewhere else to sleep.
>Walking up a flight of stairs, you see Spike curled up in a basket.
>Maybe he the p0ny equivalent of a dog?
>In any case, you see two beds at the top.
>Score!
>One bed is surrounded by pictures, an alarm clock, some books.
>A lot of books.
>You safely presume that is the purple p0ny's bed.
>You have no clue who the other bed belongs to, and frankly, you don't give a fuck.
>If they ain't here now, it's yours.
>You prepare to divebomb the fuck out of that comfy bed.
>Then you remember a certain obsessive compulsive someone who passed out downstairs.
>...
"Fuck."
>You trod back downstairs to see her still on the uncomfiest floor in the world.
>Gonna leave her like that man?
>Why the fuck should I care, she's been keeping me prisoner all day!
>She was worried about other people she knew, you dipshit.
>Whatever, I wanna fucking sleep.
>At least put her in her own bed you twat.
>Will it shut you up, inner conscience?
>Yes it will.
>Fine.

>You go to pick up the crazy p0ny.
>Oh god what if she wakes up.
>I'm gonna get fucking deathbeamed.
>Oh fuck oh fuck oh- hey, she's still asleep.
>You pick her up with both arms. She weigh about the same as a preteen person would.
>Amazingly enough, throughout the whole walk upstairs, she remains unconscious.
>Works for you.
>You set her down on her bed and lazily fall on the other one.
>Holy shit this bed is comfy.
>Like angel feathers trapped in a mattress.
>It's like the bed was...
>Magic.
>Welp, that ruined the illusion of a masterfully made bed.
>Doesn't change how fucking comfy it is.
>You pass out near instantly, you can finally get some real sleep.

>You wake up to a purple marshmellow slapping you in the face.
>"I said GET UP!"
>Your eyes shoot open. Lo and behold, your kind jailor is awake.
>She doesn't look happy.
>Or fully awake.
>"Why are you on the guest bed? You're supposed to be trapped!"
>She can't put two and two together?
>She must really be tired.
"You passed out late last night. I walked upstairs because your floor is really uncomfortable."
>She ponders your answer.
>"...fine, but I'm still keeping you bound!"
>Fucking come on.
>As she charges her magic, she staggers, falling to one knee on your chest.
>"*pant*...uh....I can't do it...right now...but I'm not letting you leave!"
>She is so worried it's terrifying.
>Spike comes beside the bed and pulls her off.
>"Twilight, relax. You can barely perform magic right now, let alone keep him trapped."
>Good thing he was here or we might have a p0ny dead from magic exhaustion.
>Can a p0ny die of magic exhaustion?
>One of the many things you must learn.
>For science.
>You monster.

>"Twilight, if he was gonna leave, he'd have done so last night."
>You nod in agreement. It's totally true, you had planned on getting the fuck out.
>Twilight just stares at you again...until finally her gaze fades.
>"Okay...I'll stop...for now."
>About fucking time.
"Thanks. I'll try not to cause any trouble."
>Spike motions for her to go downstairs.
>"Get something to eat, you're almost missing breakfast."
>Breakfast sounds awesome right now. An apple only goes so far.
>You get up from the, what you now know as, the guest bed, and head downstairs.
>It smells like someone is cooking flowers down here.
>Like they just ground them up and put them in a frying pan.
>It's not a BAD smell, just freakin' weird.
>Twilight is sitting at a table in her main room, rubbing her eyes.
>Maybe she'll lighten the hell up and you can start getting your questions answered.

>You sit down in the seat across from her.
"Hey."
>She turns away slightly.
>This shit again.
"Look, I'm sorry we got off on the wrong...hoof...but I'm not evil, I don't want to eat p0nies or cause havoc, I just want to go home as badly as you want to send me there."
>She looks at you with a face that isn't somehow negative.
>"It's fine. It's just, I have no idea who you are, what you are, what diseases you could be carrying..."
"You could ask. What have I got to hide?"
>You're being as nice as possible to make sure she won't bind you magically again.
>"It's not just that, you're..."
>Weird?
>Alien?
>Oddly shaped?
>Smelly?
>Wait, are you smelly?
>Nah bro, you're stylin'.
>Good.
>Back to the p0ny.
>"...a failure."
>Ow. That stings. You're pretty sure it wasn't even meant towards you!
"A failure? That's harsh."
>"No, not like that. I was trying a new spell...sending objects across dimensions...and it brought you back with it."
>So it WAS her fault. Explains why she's absolutely obsessed with not letting you screw anything up.

>"Breakfast is up!" Spike calls from the other room.
>He walks in with two plates.
>Pancakes? Hell yeah!
"Thanks, dude."
>You hold out your closed fist towards him.
>He reels back into frightened stance.
>He's never pounded the brofist before?
>Initiation time.
"Punch it."
>"Huh?"
"Don't leave it there, man. Punch it!"
>He slowly balls his claws into a fist and punches yours.
>The moment they connect, the spark of manliness lit the flame of brohood in your soul.
"That what I'm talking about."
>He doesn't know why, but Spike thought that was awesome.

>Twilight's been digging into her pancakes.
"Bottom's up!"
>You take a bite of soft fluffy pancake.
>It quickly morphs into a grainy disgusting mouthful of vomit.
>You spit the food back onto the plate.
"Augh, what is this?!?"
>Spike looks truly offended!
>"No p0ny's ever not liked my Dandelion Pancakes before!
>Dandelion...pan...
>For fucks sake.
>You scrape the last bit off your tongue.
"Well, I'm not a p0ny, little dude."
>"Oh...right..."
>Looks like it's apples again.

>Shortly after your meal, and picking grass out of your teeth, you get down to brass tacks.
"Okay, so you sent the apple into my world, then pulled me back with it, right?"
>Twilight furrows her brow, to make sure she understands the concepts behind metaphysical travel through multiple dimensions.
>This ain't Doctor Who bullshit, this is real.
>Real magic.
>Fuckin'...
>"That's what it seems like."
"Then why not do it again? This time just don't pull me back!"
>Twilight groans.
>"That's what I was GONNA do...until someone spilled brown water all over my hundreds of years old book!"
>Is that what you ruined?
"Hey, it's NOT just brown water! That was a delicious beverage which rivals no other!"
>Twilight rolls her eyes.
>"Anyways, this is why we're waiting for a response from Princess Celestia."
"Who might this celestial person be?"
>Twilight is shocked at hearing this.
>It's like she doesn't even care you're from another dimension! You do not know Celestia?
>High treason.
>"PRINCESS Celestia is the ruler of Equestria!"
>Equestria. Equines.
>Serious.
>"She is all powerful, and most importantly, my teacher!"
>So the psycho smart p0ny has an omnipotent ruler as a teacher?
>This 'Equestria' place is in for a rude awakening at some point.

"So when is she gonna get back to you?"
>"I sent the letter yesterday, she's usually so good about it..."

>Meanwhile, in Canterlot

>Celestia trudges back to the gaming couch after the arduous task of raising the sun.
>"Lighten up, sunshine."
>Luna chugs her 'Iron Bull Energy Drink'. She tosses the can into the already foot high pile of empty cans.
>"Shut it. Just fuckin' play."
>Celestia watching her little sister play through The Legend of Zebra for the PonyBox2.
>Luna plays through the game seamlessly like she has many times before.
>"For a game about the moon coming down to destroy people, they never asked me to be in it once."
>"What do you mean, they talk about you all the time in this game."
>"Yeah, and when they finally show me I sound like I just swallowed a kazoo."
>Celestia starts cracking up. Luna doesn't approve.
>"Whatever, skin cancer. Don't you have some letters to send?"
>"OH FUCK THAT LETTER FROM YESTERDAY."
>"What, you mean the one you tore up because you suck at Battlepones?
>"I'm going to wring your neck in two seconds if you don't help me."
>Luna pauses the game.
>"Just write something generic, make it seem like they have to solve whatever whiny bullshit they have on their own."
>Celestia claps her hooves together.
>"That way I don't have to do anything!"
>Luna nods in agreement. Celestia conjures up a paper.
>"Let's write this bitch...'Dear...uh...Faithful Subject, yeah that'll work...when it comes to this problem..."

>"...I cannot help you?!?" Twilight can't believe what she's reading.
>"When this happens in your life, you must take full responsibility and make sure that everything turns out okay! Who knows, you may even learn a lesson about friendship. I'm already teaching you about turning lemons into lemonade. Consider that one a freebie. I won't be available for contact, so do what you need to do! Your leader, Princess Celestia."
>...that's some bullshit.
>"Since when has Princess Celestia not cared so much!?"
>Twilight is very visibly mad.
>Spike goes to calm the psycho down.
>"Twilight, maybe she has a point."
>"SPIKE! He's a freaky flesh monster from another dimension, how can she not help us?!?"
>That stung too.
>And she knows it this time.
>"Oh, I'm sorry, I, uh, didn't mean it like that..."
>Who cares? You've been treated like nothing this whole time.
>These two don't even know your...
>"Name?"
>You perk your head up.
>"Do you HAVE a name?"
>You're lucky this time, Twilight.
"...Anon."
>"It's nice to officially meet you, Anon."

>She reaches out one of her marshmellow limb attachments.
>Is that thing even a hoof?
>Oh wait, she's waiting for something.
>Is this a handshake?
>Hoofshake?
>Fuck if you know, it's courteous.
>You don't take pride in NOT being courteous.
>You reach your hand out and take it.
>She quickly retracts as soon as your fingers wrap around her hoof.
>Dejected again.
>That feel when you're an alien.
>"...sorry..."
>"Twi, they're like my claws, they just...don't have claws."
>After hearing Spike, she looks down at your hands again.
>She sticks out her hoof one more time.
>Being scared of alien contact, round two.
>Ready? FIGHT!
>You grab her hoof for another handshake.
>If seems like she wanted to pull away, but you shake hands...hooves...dammit.
>Good e-fucking-nough.

>"Well, I guess that's that."
>Helpful.
"What does THAT mean?"
>Twilight brings out a long, drawn out sigh.
>"Seems like she wants me to take care of you for a while."
>PSSSFFFHHTTTFFFHHH
"Take care of me?"
>"She told me to take responsibility, so..."
>The purple p0ne looks at you.
>"Yeah."
>You think of objecting...but...
>"Looks like you'll be living with us for a while!"
>Spike jumps into another seat at the table, and makes a motion to punch you.
>Wait a minute, that's no punch.
>He's...
>You pound his brofist with the intensity of 1000 suns.
>The pact has been made.
"You got it, Spike."
>"Alright, this is gonne be aw-"
>His cheering is interrupted by recieving another letter from Celestia.
>Which he recieves in a puff of flame.
>In your general direction.

>The burning of green dragonfire isn't as intense as you thought it might be.
>However, your clothes beg to differ, pieces of your shirt and pants beltloops are falling apart in flaming chunks.
>"Hehe...oops..." The tiny dragon scratches the back of his head.
>He's lucky your fashionable goatee did not burn up.
>So help you if it was gone.
"It's fine, it's fine..."
>TwiFacehoof2.tiff
>Spike reads the letter out loud.
>"*ahem*, P.S...Luna rules, Celestia drools."
>Twilight is unamused as far as unamused can be taken.
>"Well, on top of taking care of you, let's get you some new clothes."
>Twilight walks towards the door.
>"I know just the p0ny. I'll be right back. Make sure he stays, Spike."
>Spike salutes as Twilight trots off.
>Spike and you know full well he can't stop you from leaving.
>But you don't.
"It'll be nice to get some new shirts and pants."
>Spike nods.
>A moment of silence passes...
>"Hey Anon..."
"Yeah, little dude?"
>"What are pants?"