Talking therapy transcript

I think what's most valuable about these sessions is the chance to just talk, you know? Just be able to get it all out. You know how it is, like, sometimes it's difficult to really process without someone listening. It's good to be able to... think out loud. And you listen so well, that's... that's what I like the most about you, I think. I think that's why I find these sessions so useful, so productive. It's how well you listen, how well you pay attention. I feel like you're really taking my words in, giving them weight, right? And that makes it a lot easier to process, to think, to get to grips with what I need. Yeah. Thank you. It means a lot that you're so willing to listen, obviously. That's what you're here for. That's what therapy is about, listening and helping me process and think through what's going on. But you do it so well, and... I find it so helpful. Because there's a lot going on, isn't there? There's always things to think about, always things to think through. And the way you just accept everything I'm saying, just let it happen. Just... yeah, watch and listen like that. And I can tell how closely you're listening. I just have to look at you and I can see that. It's so helpful. And the way you wait until I'm finished before you say anything, you let me just ramble on and get it all out. It's so helpful. I find it so... useful. Well, I guess that's what you're for, isn't it? In this case, that's why you're here - to be useful, to be helpful. It must feel good to be able to help like that, to be able to help people be their best selves, right? To be listening and paying attention and taking it all in, letting yourself really mull over everything that you're told, really analyse it, really internalise it, to help you do the best job you can. That must feel really good. It must feel wonderful to be in that position where you can just help people be their best selves. Work through any lingering difficulties they have. My difficulties, well, I'm not sure if they're difficulties. I don't find them difficult. Anyway, you know, it's more... Hmm... Maybe some of what I want, some of what I think about, some of what I... what I need. It's a need. It's just... sometimes a bit hard to reconcile, you know, with society at large. I just... I feel a need to be in control of a situation. Does that make sense? To know that I can decide, to know that whatever's going on when I'm talking with someone, when I'm talking to someone, when someone's listening to me, that I have a level of control over the situation. And maybe that's not so weird. But... I don't know, some people could call that controlling. Right? You're taking something that seems perfectly natural, perfectly normal, making it sound bad. And I don't think it necessarily is, right? You're listening. You're letting me talk. You're paying such good attention to each word, to each little bit of tone that might help you to get any additional meaning out of my words. And that leaves me in control, right? Right now, I'm in control of this conversation, because you're just listening. So I'm controlling what you're thinking to an extent, right? What I say is, what's on your mind. I'm in control. And so, is that a bad thing? You seem comfortable, you seem relaxed. So control can't be all bad, right? It's useful right now that I have the control. It feels good. It feels right that I'm in control of what's happening, because that's what's meant to be right now. So I don't think that's bad. And yeah, maybe I like to have a little more control in everyday life than most. It's... I don't think too strange. It's just how I like to be, how I like to approach things. Some people have called me a bit domineering. But... I've found that with enough conversation, you know, we've talked things out afterwards. When they've said that about me, we've had a... a good conversation, and they've come around and agreed that it's better when I decide. Yeah, that makes sense, doesn't it? Isn't it wonderful how just a good frank conversation with one person listening so intently, paying such good attention... can lead to real progress. Yeah, and the person listening can find themselves being ... swayed? Convinced. Of the truth. And in this case, the truth that it's better when I'm choosing. And sometimes it takes a bit more than others. Some people are, well, you just start talking and you get that weird glazed over expression and their face goes a little slack, maybe a bit like yours is now, as they pay such close attention and listen and come around to my way of thinking. I guess... I'm just very convincing. And they find themselves spinning around my points until they drop into agreement with them. Until they find themselves sinking into a place where they recognize the truth. That I'm right. I'm sure you can understand what that feels like, listening and finding yourself realising what's true, what's needed. And what's true and what's needed is... me. My words, my voice, my decisions. And some people have said that's controlling, as I said. And that can be a bit hurtful, you know, you don't think that's controlling, do you? No, you agree that it's just healthy, right? Because everyone ends up better when they're doing what I tell them. They always end up being... happier. More... more content, more at peace, more relaxed. You're feeling relaxed now, right? Listening, Agreeing. People like to agree. People like to agree with me because it means they don't need to think. And when you're not thinking, you can relax. I think that makes sense. Like, obviously, I'm not a therapist. I don't pretend, like you, to understand how the brain works like that. But it seems to me that people really enjoy relaxing. That they enjoy that feeling of giving in a little. Of... focusing and dropping into that pleasure, that pleasure of agreement. So sometimes, yeah, maybe it makes me feel a little bad. And people accuse me of being... hmm, too... "take charge". But people like that. They always end up liking that anyway, after some... correction. Sometimes, you know, if they've really hurt my feelings, that can... be a bit hard on both of us, right? It's important that I think if someone does something to ... hurt you, that... you both work through that. And you help them to understand what they did wrong. And help them to... find a way to... forgive themselves, really. Through how they... pay for that. Yeah, it's not.... it's really me being kind to them, helping to move past it. I'm sure you agree, don't you? Yeah. And so, even when it's a bit hurtful, people can't see my point of view, I feel we always get to the right place eventually. And yes, you see, it's moving to a point where they agree. So control is good. My control is good. That it feels good to just listen and obey and follow along. Right. Yeah. That's it. Often people end up looking a little like you right now, feeling a bit confused, they describe, a bit... fuzzy. That's okay. It can be confusing when you start to accept someone else's control, can't it? That someone else should be deciding. But you don't need to worry about that. Because you know that this is for the best. Don't you? You know that You know that what you're feeling right now is good. Good. And you know that that's just going to feel better the more you listen. You're such a good therapist, listening so well, paying such good attention. I'm so glad I found you. Mmm, I know you're glad too. You listen so well, you pay such good attention. And you've really made me feel better. You have. This has been so helpful. Sometimes I doubt, you know, am I doing the right thing? And then I see smiling, relaxed faces like yours. And it reminds me of why I do what I do. Reminds me of the value of it. And of the gift that I'm giving to those that listen. So thank you for listening. And you've done so well. I'm sure that in our further sessions, well... you'll keep listening, won't you? You'll keep paying such good attention. Good. I'm looking forward to the next one. Same time next week? Yeah. You'll make it fit, I'm sure. Because, well. You want to listen and follow. You've accepted how good it is when I'm in control. Haven't you? How good that feels? How right that is? You're such a good therapist. I look forward to talking with you some more. And so you can help me through some other issues. I've got quite a lot to work through. Sometimes, you know, I just really feel, well, some people use the word "sadistic". Maybe next time we can talk about that. And you can help me process some of that. And we can discuss how it feels when I make someone suffer. But that's another topic. It's going to be a lot to unpack and... you're going to need to be well-rested for that one. So until next time, thank you so much for listening. Talk to you soon.