Ok I understand what you mean. the god that would be for ppl want they want him to be... i often picture god as a loving god, but I also ignore other characteristic of god, like he is also a god of righteousness, and who separates good and evil clearly, but also have mercy.....and a lot other things. But If we don’t read bible, we would never know god in a comprehensive way. and simply just explain it with “this is not the god I want to believe “is the most efficient resolution to the problem and it’s less painful. So I get it. it’s like a friendship when some one think he really understand the other but the other let him down. And he can choose whether to give a second chance to him. But to be friend with each other is a process which you keep knowing the other more. 而且對對方的認識還會一直改變就算你很熟了更何況對方是上帝。

The other thing is I have my own interpretation of the concept love, but I could never understand love if I weren’t loved by god, or if I didn’t try to read God’s word.因為基督教的愛是用「神」這個概念去定的 跟某些人定義的愛絕對不一樣 常常聽到的諮商主題：xxxx所以父母愛不愛我 (通常個案看不到父母的愛因為他們對愛的定義不同）