There's a voice she can faintly hear in the distance, but she isn't sure where it's coming from. It feels warm and blurred as if a blanket were being wrapped tightly around her. She tries to move to find the voice, but her body won't listen. There's a weight slowly enveloping her being making it hard to find her breath. The voice. Find the voice. Her eyes search but there is only darkness before her. Breathe. She can't. Any time she gasps it feels as if her lungs fill with a thick substance only making her chest heavier. The voice grows louder and louder becoming impossible to ignore but she still can't make sense of it. What were they saying? Who's voice was it? She feels the panic in her being rise trying to make clear what her mind was doing. She tries to call out to the voice. Drowning. It feels as if she's drowning, yes, that was the feeling. Never before had she felt what it was to drown, but she somehow knew that's what this overbearing feeling was. Her body struggled against the restricting blanket trying to break free and rise to the surface to finally empty her lungs and feel the crisp night air take hold. That damned voice wouldn't stop. It was deafening at this point. The darkness somehow blurred as her mind rattled from the sound and she felt herself slipping away into a different sort of dark.
"Ella!" It's over. In an instant she's awake and remembering where she is. Curled up nestled into a corner, she stared up at her Master with tired eyes and answered as she always did. "Is something the matter?" It was a question, but the monotone flatness of her voice always made it difficult to actually hear a question if she asked. Everything sounded more like an emotionless comment. There was a reason she didn't speak much. Or maybe she just didn't have anything to say. Matier, the scientist who had done so much to her already, knelt down in front of her with another needle in hand. "Your nightmares seem to be becoming worse somehow. Still no ideas?" She somehow found comfort in his voice, it was the only familiar thing she knew anymore. Memories of old where mostly lost to her now. This was the life she knew. "It's the same still. I wonder if it's what death feels like. Maybe that's what this is." The man pursed his lips in thought and gave a nod, "Possible. You were becoming more and more like those afflicted but without the actual -zombie- part to it. You could possibly be slowly losing yourself, but we'll see to it that it doesn't happen. We'll find some more samples tomorow."
Death wasn't something she feared, she really didn't feel fear anymore. The only things she felt anymore were pain in large doses. They recently found her nervous system didn't seem to work the same as normal humans anymore, sure some things hurt, but they had to be deep. A simple stab wound to her abdomen barely made her flinch. Seeing in the dark was something she came by a lot easier as well as picking up scents. Blood especially. Matier made her wear goggles whenever someone came around, he said her eyes were beginning to slow signs of glowing and would most likely make people a bit weary of her. Most already were, but it was better to not make it worse. She was becoming one of those walkers. She knew it. She also knew if she let herself slip away completely, the Doctor would have failed in his experiments and that wasn't something she wanted. The only thing she seemed to care for was him. She couldn't fail him in anything. Death wasn't something she feared for herself, she feared failing the Doctor.
The wood surrounding her creaked from the late night winds brushing against it and the calming sounds of nothing lulled her back into a light sleep. Her dream was always the same it seemed. She never dreampt of old times or possible new times. Those old memories had long left her and the only person who knew of her past was Matier now. He would tell her of how much she disliked her family as if it was helping her cope somehow with the loss of it all, she wasn't sure why he did this. She felt nothing for people she didn't even remember nor of the world before. Her only memories are of this place. This wasteland. The zombies, the gunfire, the smell of death, and the experiments. There are people in her memories from now though that seem to stay no matter how much she forgets. Every gun that's ever been pointed at her face, there was a face behind it that burned into her memory. They had tried to kill her, though she did not feel anger for her safety. She felt the safety of her Master's experiment in danger and that danger needed to be delt with.
There were people who tried to 'save' her from Matier. She never understood why these people felt the need to try and help her or why they'd think she needed to be saved at all. They never seemed to understand that they were the ones putting her in danger and themselves. The Doctor had guns and plenty of weapons at his command and she knew he would always do anything to get her back. She was his greatest possession and knew it would be protected. They all knew what sort've power her Doctor held, but they still challenged him. Why? Why did all of these people feel the constant need to attack them? The only thing they've ever done is help people. They built a safe place for those to come for healing and help. She had even taken the time to study from medical books and yet this somehow was a means for war?
So many would come and go, so many that would help or challenge them. Many names. Many faces. "You need to remember, Ella." A voice that trigger a memory stirred, that voice she clings to to remain whole. Where was she again? The hospital. It all appeared before her again, so intact and so clear. "Who took you and what did he give you?" Matier looked over the needle puncture in her arm, she could feel his anger stirring. Someone had touched his subject. Not only with the intent to harm..but the intent to do -his- job. There wasn't much she could do to stop it. Her hands clenched at the thought of the memory. Wait..why was she clenching? Things like that were usually signs of anger and aggression and she didn't..feel those things. At least - she didn't use to.
Her eyes opened staring at the wall across from her. Anger. She could feel it..she could -feel-. It didn't make sense. How long had she been able to feel an emotion for? She scrambled her brain trying to remember a time of emotion. Jarring noises. Explosions. She felt her chest tighten as she stood up, the blanket that had been draped over her shoulders fell to the floor in a bundle. Quietly stepping out, her boots made soft clunking noises as she walked out from the small room on the tower. Matier and some of their guns had already fallen back asleep, but there was one standing out by the railing to keep watch. York. This one had seemed to stay and survive with them despite the others that continued to come and go. He turned to look at her as she stepped out giving her the same look he always did. Unsure and un-trusting. "So, what you don't sleep now or something too?" She wasn't sure how he felt about her, sometimes she figured he didn't feel anything towards her the same she did to him. Those illuminating eyes of hers simply stared at him which just made him shrug off his question in his usually way. "Alright, okay, you just do you then." He was different from the others. He somehow found a way to jest about everything despite it all. You wouldn't think him a good artillery man, but he was always the one she'd count on to get the job done. In a way, she found herself relying on him more as she did the Doctor, but not in the same sense.
It was rubble and ash. The waters were still and the area was dark. It didn't use to be that way. She stared out towards the pile of burned wood that use to be their makeshift hospital. There it was. Her chest tightened. She felt the anger burn deep within her and she questioned why people would do the things they did to her and her staff. Was it the action itself enough to make her feel? Or was something else happening to her..She shivered. And questioned. It was cold out and the wind wasn't helping at all. Her face scrunched into confusion as she looked down to her arm that was now covered in goosebumps. Something was changing. Those human emotions and feelings she hadn't missed in so long were somehow returning. Maybe the chemicals that had been put inside of her were finally beginning to ware off. This wasn't good.
"Just tell me what he did to you." It was faint and echo'd in the back of her mind. "I can help you if you just let me." It was dark and she was unable to see. She remembered the sound of water as they drove to wherever he was holding her now. He wanted to help, but he was the one wounding her. He would hurt her and then hand her bandages. But Matier was the crazy one? The nerve of these people. This wasn't the first time she'd been taken. People seem to have an obession with kidnapping her and she usually just lets it happen. She wasn't aggressive enough to stop it. If she wanted to help protect her Doctor's precious experiment, she needed to better herself.
"York." The sudden sound of her voice made the normally steadied man jump slightly, "Whoa now, you need to give me proper warning before you go talking at me." Ella's face didn't change from that same stoic glare. "You're good with guns correct? Teach me to use them properly. I can't depend on you all to protect me all the time." York scratched at the back of his head staring off uneasily at her request. "You're gonna need to pass that by Matier first cause I'm not about to go over him or anything. Especially with teach -you- something. Okay? Okay." He turned back to stare out over the horizon watching for any movement. He was right though, she'd need to make sure -he- was alright with it first and this wasn't a conversation to have so early or..late into the night.