Day 10: angst

Sometimes, Boudica found it hard to keep up her smile when a certain Nero Claudis was around.

As much as she tried to move past her grievances with Emperor, she found herself occasionally having to hold back a vicious remark or, reluctantly, fight the urge to summon her weapon and thrust it right at the Nero's heart.

Some days it was easy to hold the urges back, to just smile and let whatever action the Emperor was performing run its course and wait for her to leave.

On others, it may as well have been the hardest battle she had ever fought. On those days, she secluded herself inside the kitchens or going around the more remote parts of Chaldea to escape from the Emperor's presence.

Of course, Boudica knew that it was unfair to treat her that way, but after what had happened to her and her people, her daughters especially, it was not an easy grudge to overcome. And if Boudica were being honest with herself, an admittedly large part of her did not even want to try.

But Boudica refused to listen to that part of her, she refused to give in to the voice that constantly screamed with hatred, loss and anguish, that haunted her dreams and nightmares with the defiled faces of her daughters and allies, demanding revenge and retribution on the Emperor that had been the cause of all of it.

But Boudica refused to listen to it, she tried to shut the voice out as much as she could and tried to be as nice and polite towards the Emperor as possible.

But she was not always successful.

And some days Boudica could not bring herself to care.

It was just what she deserved after all.

Day 10: angst