Summer Clouds Over Canterlot II

>In the dining hall Equestria’s misplaced human reluctantly ate some soup.
>He was dressed in his trademark midnight blue suit with bordeaux tie.
>Though on occasion he would wear a charcoal suit, mares often thought that his suit was black.
>It wasn’t.
>But Anonymous knew that if he went around explaining that it in fact wasn’t a black suit and that it was ‘midnight blue’ mares would roll their eyes and call him a typical stallion.
>Rarity knew his pain.
>He had a feeling that it was going to be one of those days when Caramel wouldn’t stop gushing about how amazing his new flowers were.
>Anon could respect a well tended garden, ignoring that ponies usually just ate the flowers anyway, but there was no earthly reason he needed to listen to Caramel for thirty minutes.
>They were azaleas by the way, which Caramel told him were poisonous.
>So they were strictly for decoration and not for eating.
>He knew that Anon didn’t eat flowers.
>Most likely he was telling him to warn Queenie, because Caramel evidently thought that she would eat flowers from his garden like an animal.
>It was a shame that her body couldn’t digest physical material or Anon would’ve told her to eat all of his other flowers.
>She would’ve done it too.
>Heck, he might do it himself, because someone had to.
>Thankfully Luna had shown up and rescued him.
>After causing a scene she teleported him to the castle and promised a special meal to make him comfortable after such an ordeal, the ordeal apparently being his abuse at the hands of his girlfriend.
>Ever since he had signed those citizenship papers with Celestia a few months ago Luna had been acting weird.
>At first he thought that she was hitting on him, taking him out shopping, inviting him to parties, but he came to find that for some reason, because of the paperwork, she thought of herself as his aunt.
>Which was silly.
>Ponies were very silly.

>Celestia didn’t act any differently towards him, but now Luna was acting like his mom.
>And while it was sweet, it was the tiniest bit annoying.
>Plus, the soup was alphabet soup.
>She was treating him like a child.
>So he sat contemplating what he was going to say when Celestia arrived while intermittently playing with the letters in the soup to spell out cuss words like a big boy.
>He wasn’t really worried, Celestia was reasonable and would listen when he told her that his ‘special somepony’ was a very nice mare.
>Actually he was somewhat worried, since his ‘marefriend’ was Queen Chrysalis.
>Nobody had figured it out yet, but it was only a matter of time.
>‘Queen Me’ was a terrible pony name.
>According to Chrysalis that was the point, all pony names were stupid, but Anon still worried.
>Surely if someone like Celestia really thought about it she would be able to deduce that a mare with the same mane and eye color as Chrysalis, that had a cutie mark with a big black queen chess piece, warranted a little looking into.
>He wondered if it was because she was white, could she get away with it if she was black?
>Probably.
>Ponies were cute but being honest they were pretty stupid sometimes.
>More naïve than stupid maybe, but still quite gullible.

>Chrysalis may have been evil at one point but Anon considered her more of a neutral grey area nowadays.
>Thinking about it that was a lie, she was more or less the same.
>But recently the most evil thing she had done was complain when they went to the farmer’s market.
>Simply put, she was kind of whipped.
>This whole abuse misunderstanding stemmed from their constant bickering and playful teasing.
>Chryssy was a fiery little lovebug, she didn’t treat him like a stallion and that’s how Anon liked it.
>If he poked her she would poke back.
>The constant back and forth over who really wore the pants in the Anon household made their quiet moments, like how she would curl up on his chest whenever he laid down to read on the couch, all the sweeter.
>Most of the good points of argument hinged on that while her behavior was less than desirable for a normal upstanding mare, for Chrysalis this behavior was unprecedented.
>Even a ‘reformed’ Discord had caused more trouble in the last few months than she had since they started living together.
>But he couldn’t blow her cover, she had to be the one to reveal herself.
>It wasn’t his decision alone to make.
>All he could do was wait until he could make his case.
>So Anon blew bubbles in the soup with the crazy straw Luna left him.


>Grey hooves met white marble as Nosey Parker made her way back to the princesses.
>She had just finished with disposing of the cake that Princess Celestia had somehow gotten her hooves on.
>Inquiring its origins with the cooking staff had led nowhere, nopony had any knowledge of a secret dumbwaiter.
>One scullery maid had even told her off, saying that the waiters worked hard and didn’t deserve such treatment.
>Further investigation revealed the other end of the dumbwaiter hidden in one of the cabinets in the kitchen, operated by pushing in a specific stone on the pillar beside it.
>The only ponies that would be aware of its existence would be any wait staff that may have discovered it accidentally or more plausibly, anypony the princess told herself.
>So the most likely supplier was Raven Inkwell.
>The relationship between Raven and the princess was a close one based on years of trust and friendship, deep down Nosey hoped her relationship with Princess Luna would one day reach such a stage.
>She made note to keep a close eye on Ms. Inkwell in the future.
>Frequently the castle staff gossiped that she thought of Raven as a rival, as there was nothing the commonality enjoyed more than a good scandal.
>Taking the snooty nobles down a peg or two filled the masses with cheer.
>But the truth of the matter was that she didn’t consider her anything other than an equal.
>The both of them were parallels to the princesses, so she liked to think that she should treat Raven Inkwell the same as Luna treated Celestia.
>Though minus the pranks and sisterly squabbles.
>But it seemed that Raven, like Princess Celestia, would bend rules when it suited her.
>So like Princess Luna, Nosey had to keep a firm hoof on things and enforce the rules.
>Nopony in the castle liked following her rules and nopony liked her.
>Except maybe Princess Luna.
>But that didn’t matter to Nosey Parker, it was a thankless job but she had to do it.

>Turning a corner she met up with Celestia and Luna who were milling about before the door to the dining hall.
>“I’ll talk to him Luna, you stay quiet.” Celestia said, taking a deep breath before opening the doors.
>The hall was empty except for a lone figure at the end of the table who sat across from Luna’s seat and next to Celestia’s.
>He only vaguely looked like the poorly drawn pictures Nosey had seen in Princess Twilight’s scientific essay on humans.
>He wasn’t eating, just stirring the soup with his spoon.
>No doubt he was thinking about troubling things.
”Ehehmmmm.” He didn’t seem to hear them come in so Nosey cleared her throat to get his attention.
>Almost on cue Celestia’s ear twitched.
>Anon turned his head, caught off guard by the sudden appearance of the princesses he was waiting for, and got up to greet them with grin on his face.
>“Finally you guys are here, took you long enough.” Arms spread wide in a warm, friendly manner he hastily crossed the room.
>The celestial bodies stopped their rotation.
>Time stopped.
>The only sound Nosey could hear was the loud pounding in her chest.
>Nosey Parker was a mare that was all business.
>Her spectacles, her coat, her horribly outdated bobbed mane, everything was sleek and professional.
>Though she was a young mare in the prime of her life, she had no time for fun, no time for distractions from her job.
>She didn’t know what it was but there was something about Prince Anonymous that made her heart flutter.
>Was it the waifish air about him that made her want to hold him tight and tell him everything would be okay?
>No, no it wasn’t that.
>Was it his radiant smile and princely title?
>No, the title didn’t matter to her, though Princess Nosey did sound nice.
>No, it was all those things and his cute little muzzle, a ‘nose’ she believed it was referred to by Princess Twilight.

>Surely the fact that it was adorable and looked just like her cutie mark was a sign from Faust.
>For the first time she had fallen in love.
>But Nosey had to keep things professional.
>After all, she was in front of his mother and very overprotective Aunt Luna.
>Who were also the godlike rulers of the country, as well as the ponies she worked for.
>Naturally, at this moment her legs decided to lock up on her and she quickly acquainted herself with the marble floor.
>Though it was cliché, Nosey Parker had fallen head over hooves for Anonymous.
>“Ms. Parker, art thou alright?” Her sudden tumble had worried those present and drawn undue attention to herself.
>It was the gentle ‘hand’ of Prince Anonymous that helped her to her hooves.
>“I didn’t consider how scary I must look to such a little pony. I’m sorry, I should know better than to move that fast in front of ponies that haven’t seen humans before.
>Aw, he thought that he had frightened her.
>A pure stallion like Anon shouldn’t have to worry about frightening mares.
>He wasn’t scary.
>He was like a big cute hairless bear.
>Ah.
>She meant PRINCE Anon was like a big teddy bear in a suit.
>Prince Anonymous, Nosey again corrected herself.
“Don’t worry Prince Anonymous, I am merely tired from lack of sleep. I assure you my fall had nothing to do with your appearance.” She adjusted her spectacles with a hoof and flattened her aubergine mane, trying to put her embarrassing display behind her.
>“Prince?” Anon looked at Luna and nodded sagely, thinking that this ‘prince’ business must be her doing.
>“Just Anon is fine, what’s your name?”
>Even though she wasn’t his birth mother, Nosey thought that he had Celestia’s same glowing smile.
>“Anonymous, this is our new royal aide Nosey Parker.” Luna interrupted, taking the liberty of giving her aide a formal introduction which helped ease Nosey back into a more proper state of mind.

>“Nice to meet you Nosey.” He held out his ‘hand’ waiting for her to shake it as was human custom.
>Though not unpleasant it was a strange ritual.
“The pleasure is all mine A-Anonymous.” Nosey flicked her eyes over to the princesses, particularly Princess Luna, worried that she would be punished for being so informal with her nephew.
>But the princesses seemed fine with her omitting the young prince’s title.
>Anon, noticing something odd, decided to comment.
>“Is your cutie mark a human nose?”
>All eyes turned to Nosey once again.
>Specifically focused on the cartoonish human nose that was her cutie mark.
“Uh, that is what it appears to be…” Nosey looked back at her cutie mark, trying to keep her composure with all the eyes, Anon’s included, on her flank.
>“We have never noticed before, but it does look remarkably like Anonymous’ little snout.” Luna walked about looking at the foreign symbol from various distances and angles, frequently turning to compare it with Anon’s own nose.
>“Very peculiar, though these things are known to happen from time to time.” Celestia commented.
>“What dost thou think it means Tia?”
>“I do not know, though we could consult Magnum Opus’ tome ‘On Cutie Mark Symbology’ if you are worried about it Nosey Parker.”
“No need princess, it’s fine” Nosey just wanted talk of her cutie mark to end, it was embarrassing and reminded her too much of the otherworldly connection she shared with Anonymous.

>“I think it means she’s just nosy.” Anon said matter of factly.
>Celestia hummed with approval while Luna mulled it over carefully.
>But Anon’s simple words hit Nosey the hardest.
>Just Nosey.
>She didn’t know exactly what Anonymous meant by that but it had so many possible meanings that her mind immediately jumped to the romantic.
>The way he said ‘she’s just Nosey’ made her legs feel weak.
>Coughing awkwardly she attempted to excuse herself before he did something that would make her faint.
“Well, it was nice meeting you Anonymous but I have a one o’clock meeting with Ms. Inkwell that I need to be twenty minutes early for, so I must be going.” She said, cordially bowing her head and beginning her retreat.
>“Okay, see you later Nosey.” Anon waved.
>Nosey calmly walked out the door, only breaking into a gallop once she was out of sight.


>And then there were three.
>Now that he could have a word with Celestia, Anon would put an end to whatever ponyland hijinks he was dealing with concerning Luna.
“She seemed nice.”
>A little quiet to be considered nosy but overall a nice mare.
>“Yes, she is a fantastic aide. We only wish she would learn to relax a bit more.”
>Celestia took this chance to saunter up to Anon and wrap him in a big feathery hug.
>“It’s nice to see you again Anon.”
“It’s nice to see you again too.” He said, surprised by the hug.
>There was nothing cuddlier than a pony hug.
>The only downside was their small stature, to Anon Chrysalis was the only one besides the princesses big enough to give him a proper hug, a satisfying full embrace.
>But while Chrissy’s hugs were similar to regular ol’ human hugs, pony fur was very comforting to the skin and the way Celestia buried his face into the crux of her shoulder immediately subdued him.
>In the embrace no problems mattered, everything would work out, and her heartbeat downed out all worrying thoughts he may have had.
>“You need to visit more often,” And now she was licking his hair. “I barely get to see you.”
>The licking was different, but not unlike a dog licking him so he didn’t care all that much.
>A stray hair or two probably.
“Well I don’t usually come up to Canterlot since everything is so expensive, but I guess I could come visit every now and then. I’m sure Luna would like that.”
>“Yes we would.” Luna said turning her attention to her overbearing sister. “Tia quit smothering him, he’s a grown stallion. Thou art no doubt embarrassing him.”
“It’s fine Luna.” He gave a soft pat to Celestia’s neck. “So Celestia, I believe we have some things to talk about.”
>Celestia grudgingly widened the space between them, allowing Anon to regain a bit of his senses and think about the ramifications of what just happened.
>“Oh Anon, you can call me mom.”

>This threw Anon’s game plan out the window, he didn’t know how to reason with this ‘call me mom’ Celestia.
>She had caught whatever Luna had.
>Anon silently pleaded to the pony gods, the ones that weren’t already infected, to deliver them from this unusual familial virus.
>The last thing Anon wanted was random ponies like Pony Joe suddenly calling themselves his ‘Uncle Joe’.
>He already had one of those back on Earth and one was enough.
>The best course of action it seemed was getting straight to the point while dodging the ‘mom’ landmine.
“I was told that this has something to do with my marefriend…”
>Both princesses’ smiles faltered.
>“Indeed it does Anonymous,” Luna began. “We have learned th-“ Until Celestia casually cut her off.
>“We are going to have you stay with us for a few days until the Centennial Soirée party.”
“Ok, but what does this have to do with Queenie?”
>Luna looked like she wanted to stay something but having decided on letting her sister take the reins instead she stood there pouting.
>“Luna has informed me that she has been mistreating you.”
“That’s just Luna being overprotective, she’s been taking this aunt thing way too seriously.”
>Celestia gently frowned.
>“Anon, all Luna and I want is for you to be happy.”
“I’m perfectly happy with Queen Me, she’s a very nice mare.”
>“She doesn’t sound very nice to me, from all that I’ve heard.”
“That’s just playful banter, she doesn’t mean anything by it.”
>“Was she being playful when she knocked food out of your hand and into the dirt?”
>This incident was Anon’s fault.
>He had just bought some cheese from some cows and he may have insinuated some things, in public, rather loudly too, that may have embarrassed Chrysalis.
>And then he may have laughed and continued to tease her.

>Though Chrysalis may have enjoyed Anon’s antics when private, that didn’t mean she tolerated such ribald behavior in public.
“Yes?”
>Sighing, the princess continued.
>“For the next few days we shall split the two of you apart, hopefully giving her time to think about how she has been treating you. Luna has invited a lovely mare to fly over from Prance. You and her are going to talk and maybe you will like each other, maybe you won’t. Regardless you will meet new ponies and see how a stallion is meant to be properly treated. Understand?”
>So they were going to try to set him up with someone else.
“But Qu-“
>“Anonymous, no buts. Don’t worry about Queen Me, if you meet somepony you can form a herd. Right?”
>Herd?
>Anon pinched the base of his nose.
“Yeah…”he said halfheartedly.
>“Yes what?” Celestia had a look in her eye that told him he should play along for now.
“Yes mother.”
>And just like that she was the same old Celestia again.
>All smiles and rainbows.
>She trotted over to him and gave him a nuzzle.
>“Anon, you are my sunshine and I only want to protect you. Okay?”
>Anonymous hugged the big mom horse.
“Ok.”
>Breaking the embrace she opened the door to leave.
>“I don’t want to go but the court no doubt needs me, I’ll see you at dinner.”
>And with that she was gone.
>Anon wanted to be mad, he wanted to tap dance down the table and punt his soup through a stained glass window, but that would make him no better than the rest of the guys here in backwards horse world.
>And he had his dignity to consider, Anon was nothing if not dignified.
>Besides it was hard to stay mad when Celestia was acting like that.
>But Anon hailed from a crafty bunch, he would figure a way out of this mess.
>Pony problems usually only lasted a few days anyway.
>Seeing that her nephew was of questionable mood Luna decided to alleviate his worries with pleasant small talk.

>“Do not worry Anonymous. We have selected a very good mare to be thy fiancée.”
>Fiancée?
>The look he shot moon horse must have been sufficient as Luna began to back step through the open door.
>“Ehm, well…we are sure thee have a lot to think about… so we will leave thee to it.” She said through the ever shrinking gap as she shut the door behind her.
>Anon sat in his chair.
>Fiancee.
>He should have read that citizenship paperwork.
>He should have known better than to trust a lawyer pony named Fine Print to ‘give him the abridged version’.
>This was much worse than he initially thought.
>Chrysalis was going to relapse and go scorched earth on Canterlot.
>He could fix this.
>These things often had the simplest solutions, usually love, friendship, and a bit of elbow grease.
>Easy peasy.
>But he was currently unsure of how to get things started.
>Shifting his eyes downward he saw his bowl, so he decided to consult the all knowing alphabet soup.
>WDIF.
>Dying in a fire would get him out of this situation but it was too dramatic, that’s what a stallion in those books Caramel read would do, plus he liked living.
>CZPAT.
>He didn’t think Rough ‘Crazy Pat’ Patch could help him, unless he wanted to become a hobo.
>YVNE.
>Anon didn’t know any Yvonne here but he would keep an eye out, she sounded hot.
>Unless she ended up being a gryphon.
>Hmm, nothing that helped him though.
>Maybe the soup was off its game today.
>BLU.
>Aha.
>Alphabet soup had never let him down before and it surely didn’t now.