Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- > Be Santa Mare
- > You should be glad that so many ponies have been good these past years
- > And you are, but it also means that you have a huge stockpile of coal with nowhere to go
- > You stopped your parasprite minions from mining the stuff years ago
- > You needed the extra labor to keep up toy production
- > You sigh, stretching out the ol' withers and flank
- > Well, it's that time of year again, better check the lists
- > Nice list is literally a mile long
- > Yeah, you're only checking it once
- > A parasprite bumps into you, helpfully carrying a little slip of paper
- > Naughty List, blanks as alw-
- > Hold up
- > Who is Anonymous?
- > Be Anonymous, pretending to sleep
- > In your time in Equestria, you've noticed ponies are unbelievably gullible
- > You feel a little guilty about the"gotcha nose" incident, and that time with the thumb trick
- > Luckily, you convinced them it was all a dream, so now it's Luna's problem
- > Which brings you to now, where you are lying in wait for whatever Santa equivalent little horse land has
- > Stocking?
- > Hung like a horse
- > Tree?
- > Twinkly and ribboned up
- > Plate of cookies and glass of milk?
- > The absolute best chocolate chip cookies you can make from the recipe on the chocolate chip bag
- > And an oatmeal raisin cookie, because you can
- > Milk in a wine glass
- > Bed?
- > You are camped out by the fireplace in a sleeping bag, with your trusty teddy bear
- > Time for your flawless acting
- "Honk, choo, honk, choo."
- > That's the sound of sleep, no mistake
- > After a few minutes, you hear the telltale sound of hoofsteps on the roof
- > Showtime
- > You hear rustling from the fireplace, then a thump
- > A pause
- > "I know you're awake."
- > What a nice, mature female voice
- > But she's bluffing
- > "I'm not bluffing."
- > Damn, she wins this round
- > You make a big show of yawning and running your eyes
- > Looks like Santa Mare is something of a silver cougar, with the toned and slender body of a Canterlot socialite, under a loose red cloak that stops just short of the curve of her flank
- > Nice
- "Nice to meet you, Santa. Would you like some milk and cookies?"
- > She smiles wryly
- > "Don't mind if I do. Now let's see..."
- > Silvery light plucks the oatmeal raisin cookie from the plate
- > "Oatmeal raisin, really?"
- "Well,"
- > "It's nice to have some variety, but who do you think you're fooling?"
- > You have the distinct feeling that you may not be on the nice list anymore
- "It was worth a try. How is it, by the way?"
- > She takes a bite, her eyebrows rising
- > "This actually pretty good. Do you have more?"
- "Uh, yeah, just a moment."
- > You retrieve a plateful from the fridge, setting it before Santa
- > She eyes the glass of milk
- > "I bet you even jizzed in the milk, eh?"
- > What?
- > She lifts it in her magic, swirling the glass contemplatively
- "Actually,"
- > Santa Mare tilts her head back and drinks it all in one gulp
- > ...
- > She then looks at you with half-lidded eyes, licking her lips
- > "I have a proposition for you, you naughty colt."
- > You are standing at attention, in all sorts of ways
- "What do you have in mind?"
- > She takes a sinuous step towards you
- > "I have a lot of coal I need to get rid of, and exactly one person on the naughty list."
- > Santa takes another step towards you, her flank shifting hypnotically
- > "I'm going to need you to stay on that naughty list, and get coal every year."
- > Her cloak unfastens, slipping to the floor
- > She rears up, placing her hooves on your chest
- > "But don't worry."
- > She nuzzles your neck
- > "We'll be naughty together."
- > You grin, grabbing her by the haunches
- "You give me coal, I'll give you diamonds."
- > She hums sensuously, her plush rump shifting in your hands
- > Her eyes gaze at you with a terrifying hunger
- > "It's such short notice, it's fine if you don't wrap your package."
- > And that's how you became Father Christmas in Equestria
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement