(21:14:31) [email protected] Alright, against my better judgement I'm here. Say whatever you must right now.
(21:14:41) Juna Well fuck, didn't expect that.
(21:15:10) [email protected] I know you didn't, but I tire of the messages and one-sided conversations.
(21:15:26) Juna Mm, me too. How've you been?
(21:16:04) [email protected] I've been fine. Took last week off of school because of sickness.
(21:17:08) Juna I want to say lucky, but I'm sure it was shit.
I have 2 assignments due Tuesday and happen to be addicted to a new tv show :/ Doesn't work out so well.
(21:17:30) Juna I feel like I should be talking about something more important
(21:17:38) [email protected] Probably.
(21:17:50) Juna But honestly, I'm a little confused myself
(21:18:00) Juna I think I will be for a while.
(21:18:18) Juna I'm not sure why I'm mad
(21:18:40) Juna I assume you're mad 'cause I'm mad
(21:19:29) [email protected] I'm not especially mad, I'm just sick of everything and I'd like it all to stop one way or another.
(21:19:59) Juna If it makes you feel any better, I don't feel anything.
(21:20:49) Juna I want us to be able to continue on, I want us to look back at this and laugh. I don't see it happening, but it's a nice thought.
(21:21:11) [email protected] Yes, it seems doubtful at this point.
(21:21:32) Juna Why is it doubtful, from your point of view?
(21:21:41) Juna I haven't heard your point of view
(21:22:14) Juna Have I stepped over the line and nothing I can ever do will make up for it?
(21:24:34) [email protected] I don't know. I'm confused. But I just don't see us reconciling and our relationship going back to what it was, in the first place because I feel like us being friends again would take everything back to square one and that's no good.
(21:24:54) Juna Our friendship is so weak, that as soon as anything happens that's beyond our predefined boundaries, it breaks. That's why we never fought, if we fought, it'd have crumbled.
(21:25:12) [email protected] Also, you being around... kind of puts a strain on my relationship with Marissa. You may or may not be aware but she really hates you.
(21:25:16) [email protected] That's true.
(21:26:24) Juna I kind of sensed it. I don't like her either for the record. Too much random capslock, lol.
Anyways, this sucks.
(21:27:47) [email protected] It does suck. I came here to reach some kind of resolution, so. What do you think should happen from here?
(21:28:18) Juna I'm glad you want to reach a resolution. It seems there are only two routes.
(21:29:02) Juna I don't need to explain them, they're obvious.
(21:29:26) Juna Just wanted to ask, did it hurt you like it hurt me?
(21:30:45) [email protected] I'm guessing not. The way you felt about me was very different from how I felt about you. Plus I'm used to moving on quickly.
(21:32:03) Juna I had it all worked out the other day. I forget what it is now, but it was so simple. Actually, over the past month I've had about 5 explanations, each as plausible as the next.
(21:33:01) Juna Earlier today it was Distance + 'unreachableness' = obsession.
(21:33:12) Juna Or rather, I want what I can't have.
(21:33:21) Juna But that's a shitty explanation.
(21:34:16) [email protected] I find that plausible.
(21:35:22) Juna Well yeah, it's probably a mix of them all. I liked the other one 'cause it put me in a favourable light, it made me seem like the victim, but whatever.
(21:35:31) Juna Point is, whether you believe me or not, it's gone.
(21:36:06) [email protected] Great. So now what?
(21:37:15) Juna I dunno man. I want to go back to talking and laughing, but ultimately it's up to you. Essentially, I'm begging for forgiveness, but without seeming pathetic.
(21:38:34) Juna I fucked up, I'd been fucking it up for a while before the ultimate fuck up. I had no choice though, I couldn't go on any more.
(21:39:06) Juna And as much as the past month has sucked, I've also had some of the best times of my life
(21:39:22) [email protected] I see.
(21:39:37) Juna I was rich, now I'm in debt xD
(21:39:46) [email protected] Well, I know what I want so I'll stop beating around the bush about it.
(21:40:02) [email protected] After tonight, I don't want to talk to you again.
(21:40:34) [email protected] No emails, text messages, or random messages on Tumblr. I want this to be it. You get on with your life. I'll get on with mine.
(21:41:37) Juna So, the past two and a half years meant nothing? Or you just found something better and feel no guilt about ditching and moving on?
(21:42:06) Juna Go. Have a nice life. I thought you were better than that.
(21:43:21) [email protected] Neither. I've felt enough guilt in the past month or so to last me a lifetime. It's not as if I haven't thought about it a lot, and this is what I decided in the end. Of course you don't like it. I didn't expect you to.
(21:43:39) [email protected] But I need to know you aren't going to contact me any more before I go.
(21:45:20) Juna I can't promise that. You meant more to me than I ever did to you, that's just how it was. Just know it doesn't have to end like this, but if you want it like that, so be it. I will move on, I was nearly there.
(21:49:23) [email protected] Just do your best to not talk to me again. You can write huge-ass letters in notepad or whatever you need to do to keep yourself happy, but don't send them to me. My purpose in life is not to act as a receptacle to your feelings, especially given that I'm really not your friend any more.
(21:50:14) Juna Okay. Seeya. It was fun.
(21:50:25) [email protected] Adieu, Arjuna.