thoughts

there's just something that's been on my mind lately
I hella enjoy being gamer with you all but at the same time there's always a pressing thought that something isn't really right
and I think that it makes sense to some extent now
I don't really think I'm particularly fun to really do anything with
might be that I'm not active in vc, might be that what I enjoy isn't really fun for anyone else, might be because I just mess around too much
it's like I'm fine in groups but realistically my personality isn't really enjoyable or good I'd say
people don't really ever want to duo or like think that "yeah that's who I feel like playing with rn"
and I just find myself kind of sliding in and out of games and just bothering people who are having their own fun
and there's lowkey a lot of things that people end up doing or saying that hints towards that as well
there's a bunch that's going on right now that's probably making me feel pretty bad along with this so maybe it's just that
but there's also a lot of things pointing to me being kinda obnoxious and it honestly sometimes feels like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop
and this really isn't an issue with you all, it's an issue with either how I am or how I perceive things
anyway dipping for a spell because I have other priorities that I need to get sorted out
thanks for the fun and I'll probably be back once I get to feeling better