Thread 5: Stories 136-150

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>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~~~~

>....

"..."

>...Did the sky jus' turn pink?

"Yes. Yes it did."

>Loooot's o' fireworks too, Ah'm noticin'.

"Colorful, weren't they?"

>And Ah'm pretty sure the birds just broke out inta' a heartbreaking chorus.

"Really amazing, wasn't it."

>...Discord?

"Doesn't seem his style."

>...Did that actually jus' happen?"

"It's really unsure. This might have all been a very specific hallucination."

>...That cloud is singin'.

"That is is, Applejack. That it is."
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>AJ 56
"Diamond Tiara"
'SS'
~~~~~~

>....HOLY CRAP!

"Did you just start glowing?"

'No, that wasn't glowing. He straight up ascended to a new level of existence, right there.'

"You ATE my rocket. Just... just ate it! Like a cracker jack!"

>Or... A CrackerBOMB!

'...'

"..."

>....Bomber Jack! Crackle and jack! Come on, help me out here.

"I'm kind of distracted by our classroom turning bright pink for a second before returning to the hellscape we know and fear."

>I SAW FOREVER!

'I believe you. I am not joking.'

"I'll uh... I'll go back to killing you tomorrow."

>ALL OF THE PLOTS! I SAW, AND I *KNEW*!... kind of disappointing, actually.

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>Twilight
"Spike"
~~~~~~

>GO SHINY! YEAH!

"....what?"

>I... I don't know. I just had the sudden, overwhelming urge to scream that at the top of my lungs. I was... COMPELLED. Magically! As if by destiny! And brain slugs!

"Wish you hadn't been holding all that equipment when you said that."

>Yeah, that timing was pretty bad.

"So, is that creature going to kill us all, or.."

>Well, he's certainly going to try. Get the weaponry, please?

"Oh, Twilight. As if I'm not constantly armed to the teeth anymore."

>...We might need to have a talk.

"...."

*Gunfire noises*

"WHAT'S THAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF MY GUN FIRING! WE'LL HAVE TO TALK LATER!"

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"Crystal Pony"
>Tourist

>Wow... i thought the crystal heart only lit up the sky like that during festivals.
"Nah, all it really takes is a lot of emotions in synch."
"Although come to think of it, the only time i remember the heart lighting up outside of a gathering like this is during that week He-Who-Should-Not-Be-Named-For-Fear-Of-Flashbacks tried to wean himself off his crystal addiction using a har...em..."
>Using a what?
"TARTARUS DAMN IT, I WAS SO CLOSE TO BEING SET FOR LIFE AND BEYOND!"
>The guidebook didnt say anything about the crystal heart causing insanity in crystal ponies, although i guess that would explain the fascination for angular objects.
"You dont understand! Most of the empire, nearly half of canterlot, part of the gryphon royal court and even an elder dragon were all part of a betting pool that just got cashed in."
>An elder dragon? What.
"Yeah, something about 'pissing off the hyenas sitting around waiting for me to kick the volcano', whatever that means.
>What in equestria could attract a betting pool with that many participants?!
"CANT TALK, I JUST REALIZED I STILL HAVE A CHANCE OF WINNING IF I WAS THE CLOSEST ONE TO TODAYS DATE!"
>...

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>AJ 12
"Guard Pony"
~~~~

>...What?

"Did you just.. feel happy, by any chance?"

>No?

"Not feeling of satisfaction, as if a storyline that had been going on for a while had finally come to a close?"

>Nope.

"No feeling of elation for someone else's victory?"

>Nothing.

"...Do you know Prince Shining Armor, by any chance?"

>Uhhh... I was at his wedding. Well, not the actual wedding, but you know. The siege before that. Never actually met the guy in person, though. Why, is he important?

"Kind of. Not to you, I guess."

>Why would he be important to me? I've never met him.

"...Not even a little niggle of joy?"

>NO!

"Friggen sideplots."

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>Luna
"AJ 42"

~~~~~

>....NOOOOOOO!

"What!? Is it the glowing thing? I swear, I don't know what just happened."

>WE LOST TEN THOUSAND BITS! ALL THOSE ASSURED BETS, LOST!

"You bet on me glowing? That seems kind of weird. I don't think we've actually talked before this. Expect that part where you wanted to genocide me."

>SOO MANY BITS, GONE! SOOOO MANY JEWELS, GONE! SOOOOOOO MANY CAKES, LOST TO ANOTHER!

"Speaking of, that one bit makes it kind of hard for me to feel sympathetic to you."

>NOOOOOOO!

"Is there someone else I can talk to in order to get these filled out? I don't think I like you much."

>NOOOOOO!

"I'm just gonna leave."

>NOOOOOO!

"Yes."

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>Applejack
"Celestia"
~~~~~~

>Hey, Tia? Ya' got a minute?

"Of course I do. But I'm sorry, I'm saving them for a rainy day, you can't have any. Sorry, just the way it is."

>Har har, jus' wanted ta' ask ya, why's there only one throne?

"Come again?"

>In tha' throne room. There's one throne. What's up with that?

"Well, you see, the "Throne Room" generally refers to an area that houses a "Throne" which is a royal seat of power. I could see the mixup, you silly pony."

>Ain't you an' Luna ruling together, though?

"...Er, well, uh, yes. Yes of course. It's just... I sit on the throne during the day, and she takes over at night! Yeah! That's the ticket!"

>So then why's it got yer' cutie mark on it?

"....Uuuuhhhhh, I, uh, I haven't had a chance to get it repainted?"

>It's been over a year.

"W-well, I mean, it's pretty hard to do. You've got to be extra careful with a symbol of leadership."

>It takes, like, ten seconds ta' spray on a moon symbol.

"...I, uh..."

>...

"...I'll have it fixed by tomorrow."

>Good call.

"What, you don't want a throne too?"

>No, Ah'm startin' ta think mah' seat o' power is an office chair. And ya' know what? It's proven ta' be pretty effective. Night, Tia.

*She leaves*

"...DAMN IT! I loved that chair!"

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>SA
"Twilight"
'Luna'
~~~~~

>No, I'm not going any lower on the rates.

'Be reasonable, Shining Armor! We need the taxes on the glitter sprinkles to be just a touch lower, so that we may buy a greater bulk!'

>We sell them out anyway, there's no incentive.

'But they are the only ones that make our cakes appear to be line to our hair!'

>Sorry, can't-

*Door Explodes!*

"Heeeeeeey my BBBBBBBBFFFF!"

'...That is a lot of B's.'

>T-twili!? Are you drunk!?

"Noooooo~ Ah' jush had a little bit ish all Ah' cannoo be drunk from jush a little bit of Cappbeerchino! Tha' be shilly!"

>Mom is going to murder me.

*She lurches forward, awkwardly wrapping her arms around his neck*

"Buh Ah' jush wanna tell you, yer' mah faaaavorite brosher!"

>I'm your only brother.

"Ah' could have a hundred broshers, you'd allways be my favy! My favy Shiny! Shiny Shiny Shiny ah' love mah Shiny!"

'Her climbing on your lap like that cannot be comfortable.'

>It's not, but I'm mostly worried she's going to-EEEEEEE!

"Wow, Shiny! Ya' shounded jus' like a moush! Alll high pished and tiny!"

>M-move hoof! P-p-please! DIGGING! INTO! LAP!

"Ah' love my Shiiiiinnny!"

'Well, you are clearly busy. I suppose, if you will not reconsider the tax issue...'

>...F-FINE! JUST MOVE HER! PLEASE! HOOVES HURT SO MUCH!

'As we thought.'

The slight magical re-adjustment was the most relief Shining Armor had ever felt in his long, long life.

'With that, we will bid you adieu. We would stay and partake in more comedy, but it appears the comedian has gone away.'

>W-what? What do you mean-

"ZZZzzzzzz...."

>Ah. At least she didn't-

"BLARGH!"

>...

'How many points does she get?'

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>AJ 56
"DT"
'Filthy Rich'
~~~~~~

>You know this can only end badly, right?

"I knew the risks."

>You know, ya' say that, but I get the feeling you didn't want to die like this.

"...Nope."

>Awww, come on now, it's not so bad! Maybe in the great beyond, your plot will expand a hundred fold, nay! A thousand fold! Your booty could be GLORIOUS!

"Really?"

>No, but I wanted you to feel better.

"Jerk."

>Flatflank

"Bug monster."

>Snob.

"I hate you."

>Hate you more!

"And in this, my final, minutes, with my last breath I curse you. I know not if you shall follow me into the darkness, if the abyss shall swallow us both in it's gaping maw, of if your tenacity for survival shall prevail, and I shall traverse it alone. But know this! Be it in this life, or the next, I shall defeat you, even if I must drag you into the darkest pits of Tartarus to do it! TILL THE END, APPLEJACK FIFTY SI-...DADDY!"

'...I have, SO many questions.'

"SAVE IT! DISARM THE BOMB!"

'How could you have POSSIBLY chained yourselves together like that? Did he tackle you from behind and you flipped the chains around like a Unicorn?'

>Uh, Mister Rich? The bomb?

'I mean, I'm going to just sit and PRAY that this isn't what it looks like, because I'll be honest, I've failed enough as a parent as it is. If I thought this was what it looked like, I would set the bomb off myself, to tell the truth.'

"DISARM IT DISARM IT DISARM IT"

'No sweetie, I won't.'

>Wait, what!?

'Because I don't have to.'

"...WHAT!?"

'You grabbed my alarm clock, honey bunches. Your detonator is still next to my bed.'

"...Ah."

'You see why I took it from you, right?'

"Yeeeeah, kind of didn't think this through."

>HOLY TOLITOS!

"What now!?"

>Your dad's plot is better than yours! How does THAT happen? Did he marry a plank of wood or something!?

'...I am going to pretend I never heard that, and try not to vomit, oka-'

"BLARH!"

'...My nice suit...'

>Wow, am I glad she's pointed the other way.

'We are having a talk missy."

"F-fine... just get me down, please."

'...This is going to take a bit. Let me get my welder.'

>Yay! Fire!

"Please hurry."

'No. You brought this on yourself.'

>OOOOH! Do me first!

"I have regrets."

'We all do sweetie. Be they a plan gone awry, or a single pill left untaken, we all have regrets.'

"...What?"

'I said close your eyes, this might sting.'

>YAAAY!

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>Spike
“Shining”
‘Chrysalis’
-Cadance-
__________

Around the kitchen table is where Shining lay slumped over, barely keeping his bloodshot eyes open.

“Some days begin faaaar too early. I barely slept a wink last night, playing with Two, warding off AJ42’s surprise attacks, and turning down 18’s offers at a ‘relaxing release’….”

Chrysalis lifted a mug of coffee to her lips, glancing over the newspaper in her other hoof.

‘Mmm, she’s getting better, yes?’

“That’s the scary part. Praise Celestia she can’t get her rump as flat as Caddy’s or I might actually have to think about which is… the real… one….”

‘Shining?’

“Zzzzngh….”

‘Poor thing.’

A door swings open and Spike enters, instantly freezing upon seeing Chrysalis who, likewise, momentarily pauses before taking a long sip of her drink.

>Chrysalis.

‘Spike.’

>So did you finally suck him dry or…?

‘I’ve actually no intention of ever ‘sucking him dry’, but no, he’s merely tired. Spent the night entertaining my subjects, apparently.’

Spike pulled himself into a chair across from the Queen, glancing quickly at her coffee cup then back up.

>No intention, eh? That’s not what you were saying yesterday. Or the day before that. Orrrr the day before-

‘I’ve really no control over myself at the best of times, I’ll admit. But then again, neither does a certain baby dragon.’

>Come again?

‘Guns make for a good mouthpiece, don’t they?’

>I’m surprised you know what a gun is, you adorably caged bird. Insect. Insect bird.

‘I was able to put two and two together with all the times I’ve heard it go off, my dear Humdrum.’

>Funny. Because I’m fairly sure that even Humdrum would know what the word ‘minion’ means, and not think it’s some fusion of a mine and onion. But, hey, easy mistake right, your highness?

‘At least you’ve enough synapses firing to remind you that I am indeed your highness. I am most impressed, Spikey-Wikey.’

>You’re the queen of adorableness, I’ll say that much. You even give AJ2 a run for her money- I mean, that whole swimming thing awhile back? The way you were clutching Shining? Priceless. You’ve fallen such a long way from the big, bad boogiemare of your prime. More like a kitten now.

Spike grinned when Chrysalis paused for only an instant while lifting her mug.

‘Well, I suppose you would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Spike? Not yet a full-grown dragon… ridiculed more often than not… nopony listens to you except for when you wave around a weapon. Picture that for a moment if you will. A dragon, one of the fiercest species of this land, reduced to foreign weaponry to be heard. Claws too soft and fire too tame. Shame.’

And Chrysalis returned the smirk when Spike’s left eye twitched.

>That’s true enough, I suppose. Although, unlike some people, I’ve still got plenty of time left to grow. To come into my own. To BE something. Whereas others are merely leeching off the kindness of their superiors and dwelling on past mistakes, and what life those mistakes have brought about. If you can call it a life. What do you call it, Chrysalis?

‘Time bidding.’

>...What? Time bidding for what?


‘Perhaps until you’ve run out of bullets. Perhaps until Shining, under AJ42’s guidance, becomes the outstanding commander I know he can be, thus making a more entertaining fight. Or perhaps, until my subjects are filled with so much of his love, I just siphon it from them thereby making me quite the force to be reckoned with.’

>…

‘Or perhaps… I just wanted to see the look on your cute face. Calm down, dear, you look as though you’ve seen a ghost.’

Chrysalis giggled behind a hoof while Spike chuckled.

>You’re alright, Chryssy.

‘And you, Spike.’

And then, from down a side hallway, Cadance entered, staring at the two of them as she yawned.

-Before I leave to go shopping, I just have to say… that was pretty entertaining. The whole back and forth there? Reminded me of Sherclop Holmes and Moriarty.-

They spoke at the same time,

>‘Who was who?’

-Gotta go shopping! Bye!-

“Zzzzmm… love you… Cadance….”

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>AJ 42
"Applejack"
~~~~~~~

"Ya sure ya' wanna do this?"

>YES! I embarrassed myself in the worst way back there. Never again. I shall overcome this adversity! I shall use my cunning, my STRENGTH! This foe is nothing to me, nothing I say! It cannot fight me, it cannot hurt me! I AM THE MIGHTIEST SOLDIER!\

"...So are ya' gonna get in the pool, or not?"

>Y-yes. I'm just... sizing up my opponent.

"It's a kiddy pool, 42. Sizin' it up is actually probably a good idea. Ah' don't even know iffin' ya will fit in it."

>Okay... okay... I can do this.

*She re-adjusts her massive water-wings, and very, very slowly dips the tip of her hoof in.*

>Whelp! That's plenty of training for today. Good job, everyone, let's go home and-ACK! APPLEJACK NO!

*Splash!*

>AAAAHHHH! HELP ME I'M DROWNING! I DON'T WANNA DIE! SAVE ME SHINY! AAAAHHHhhhh....

"..."

>...Oh, I can just stand up in it. Okay, that's not so bad. Heeeyyyy, this is kind of fun! Hee hee! Splashy splashy!

"...'Save me, Shiny'?"

>...Shut up.

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>AJ 12
"Roseluck"
~~~~~~~

>So... you sell flowers?

"Yeah, pretty much."

>That doesn't seem very labor intensive, what do you need the extra help for?

"Well, the thorns prick me. A lot. I kind of wish I was a unicorn, actually. I feel like I got into the wrong profession, wherein' I constantly have to handle large, thorny stems. With my mouth. I've gotten pretty good at handling stems, though."

>Yeah?

"Yep. My tongue can do some amazing things."

>Neat.

"..."

>...So, I actually can't levitate stuff. Actually? I've only ever seen the queen do that. We usually just shoot lasers. I mean, not me personally, I can't use lasers thanks to not having a gland that prevents it from blowing my head inward, but in general.

"Oh, that's alright. Like I said, this business makes you very, very good at handling long, thin objects. Very delicately too, I should add, because you have to be tender with stems. They're sensitive."

>Are those thorns particularly sharp? My chitin isn't very strong.

"...Chitin?"

>It's the plasticy like substance over my skin.

"Oh.. all over?"

>Well, like I said, it's my skin, so yeah."

"Is it rough?"

>A little.

"How rough?"

>Uhhhhh... like a very smooth stone, I guess?

"Oh. That's a sha- I mean, it's a shame it's so brittle. Does it heal easy?"

>Not really.

"...Damn. Well, sadly yes, they are sharp. I don't want you to get injured do this, so I'm afraid it isn't going to work."

>Dang... Well, still, thanks for having me, and not freaking out. I appreciate it.

"No problem at all, no problem at all..."

*After he leaves*

"...I'm never going to meet a nice guy."

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>Shining Armor
"Spike"
'Chysalis'
~~~~~
>Hey, Spike! You're here early and this place is sort of public and connected with our lives to play Magic, isn't it?

"Actually, I was hoping to see Chrysalis for another round of wits."

'Caddy, let's play go karts inside! I got a bunch of them for cheap!'

"... Got a pot of coffee?"

>None to share.

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>AJ12
"77"

>77? 77!

"Huh? What?"

>You spaced out there.

"Oh, right, sorry."

>No worries, you alright?

"Yes, yes, fine, guess my body decided to reenact what happened to me. That's where I was, right?"

>Yeah.

"I woke up some time later, restrained by some substance I couldn't identify, it took some squirming but I managed to get a small amount of my prison torn open to see. We were in a tunnel, lined with the same disgusting substance that was keeping me in place. I managed to look to my sides and could see three kinda spherical bumps on the wall."

>Oh shit, I know where this is going...

"I believe that you think you do. It was some time before I heard a skittering on the far side of the tunnel, and a figure, big and black, loomed in the darkness. It latched itself to the farthest cocoon and did something to it before slipping away back the way it came."

>What did it do?

"I'll get to that when it's pertinent. A few hours later, it returned and I got a better look at it, all bulbous and segmented, too many legs, too many eyes, with a head that tapered downwards into a series of tendrils that it jabbed into the cocoon."

>Yeesh...so it was a-

"Spider, or some evolutionary plagiarist's version. A few hours later and I connected the dots, my number had come up for whatever it was doing. It crept closer and closer, I could see its little tendrils whipping around, getting ready to hit me..."

77 smiles a little.

"Then it got blasted in the side and sent skittering back. I barely understood what was going on before there...he was. 88 there to save me again. With 32 and 50 behind him, blasting at the creature as 88 used his knife to hack us out of there."

>Wow, badass.

"I already saw 44 on his back beside me as I fell to the tunnel floor. The spider thing was forced to retreat, shrieking an ungodly cry as one of its eyes was roasted by 50. 88 quickly cut 68 out next, he landed hard and an oozing green slime came out after him, he complained about his back hooves burning and I could see why, the slime seemed to be burning through the floor of the tunnel. Then 88 went to slice 93's cocoon open..."

>Oh...shit.

"All that spilled out was a bunch of foul green gunk and chips of chitin, sizzling in the light of our horns. 93 was gone..."

>What did you do?

"The only thing we could, we ran. We could hear them skittering behind us, I looked over my shoulder once and blasted one smaller than what had captured us. The chase lasted on and on until we made it tunnels that were more rock than webbing. The big one pursued us all the way to the end, and shot out some kind of barb as we were almost completely gone. It got 68 in one of his fetlocks, we dragged him out as 50 and 32 blasted the roof enough to cause a cave in behind us."

>A barb?

"Again, later. All that mattered at the time was that we'd escaped again, and only one of us had died...heh, ONLY one of us..."

>Are you ok?

"Yes...no...the mission had to matter...it had to..."

>Let's get you back to the ballroom...

"It had to..."

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>Spike
"Shiny"
'Twilight'
~~~~~
>Hey, Shiny! I was thinking instead of the usual maybe could get AJ2 with you, me, and Twilight and we can play some O&O.

"Oh, sweet, man! It's been ages! What edition are we playing?"

'Oh! I got the newest one. Fifth edition!'

"... Get out."

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