Thread 95: Stories 16-30

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>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>...Should we question this?

"I feel like we should question this."

>Somebody, somewhere, needs to question this, and it may as well be us.

"...It has been questioned. Results?"

>I am strangely lacking in answers.

"Myself as well... perhaps we should further investigate?"

>As this is a matter quite important to me, it would be prudent to do so. For, you see, this has reached close to my heart, and-

"Just do it."

>...I'm afraid.

"As well you should be."

*SHOVE!*

>GAH!... H-heyyyyy... how you doing? Uh... l-listen, you're kind of shaking here, and I'm a liiiiittle worried that-

'SOMEONE TOUCHED MY PAAAAPPPPPEERRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS'

>Eighteen you're scaring me. A lot. Chrysalis on rock crystal a lot.

'THEY MESSED IT UP! THEY MESSED UP MY GROOVE! AND WHEN I FIND THEM, I SHALL FLAY THE SKIN FROM THEIR BONES, DEVOUR THEIR EYEBALLS RIGHT OUT OF THEIR SKULLS, DRINK THEIR BLOOD AS THEY WATCH IT POUR FROM THEIR SLIT NECKS, AND THEY SHALL KNOW! I! AM! THEIR! DESTROYYYYAAAAAAAAAAA-'

*Cheeksmooch!*

'...'

>...

"..."

'...eeeeeee...'

"Seriously?"

>Every time.

'...what was I going on about? Something about papers-'

*Other Cheek Smooch!*

'...a duhhhhh...'

"I would applaud you, but I fear your power."

>It's a gift.

'Eeeeee....'
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NC Addition
---

"This power... you should only use it for good."

>"This is true..."

"...Ye--"

>"BUT..."

*Longer cheek smooch*

'Bluuuuuuuhhhh-wha?'

"Uh-oh..."

>"Hm. Alright, how about..."

*Ka-smooch-lips*

>"Woah."

"You're abusing your power!"

>"Did she just orgasm?"

"This is too powerful!"

>"Damn... that's a massive puddle."

"YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!"

'Taaake...meeeeee...'

>"Alright, let's start taking this to After Dark!"

"YOU WERE TO BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE, NOT DESTROY IT!"

*Ka-naughty-deep-smooches*

'Awhyeeeeeee...'

"...Fuck it, this is NC, I'll join in. SAVE SOME FOR MEEE!"

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OOCO
>AJ
"29"
~~~

>...Absolutely not.

"I'm really quite desperate."

>No, just... no? Why would ya' even ask that?

"It is one of my last options I assure you."

>Oh, well, that just makes it so much better!

"I thought you appreciated honesty?"

>No, just... no. Not happenin', never. Ya' see this rump right here? Ain't no bugs gonna touch it.

"It's rather touchable."

>That ya'll would even ask makes me want ta' run around behind ya' and buck ya' in the pendulums.

"Please don't, those shall hopefully be put to much better use shortly."

>HA! HAHAHAH! OH! Yer' rich!

"..."

>Seriously, get the fuck outta mah' office, and iffin' Ah' see ya' comin' back askin' this again? Ain't nothin' gonna save ya', NOTHIN'.

"...If you babysit Fifty Six for the weekend, I'll convince Zecora to reconsider cutting Granny Smith off. She'll be back to being pleasantly buzzed in no time."

>....Ah' have reconsidered, and would be happy ta' watch the scamp!

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OOCO
>AppleJack
+Spike+
‘Twilight’
[Headmaster]
“Celestia”

In her office the Princess of all Apples was hard at work. Paperwork.

Alongside her was her faithful assistant spike. Sorting, writing, and filing with all the vigor and fury he had been taught in his long years as an assistant.

While this was not uncommon today something was a bit different. Every few moments the orange mare would lose her focus, look over at the dragon, scrunching up her face, then going back to what she was doing. This process had gone on for some time, spike enduring the odd scrutiny without comment until finally…

+What?+

AJ blushed and went back to what she was doing.

+AJ, what?+

>What d’ya mean what?

+You keep looking at me. What’s up?+

>Nothin’!

The dragon rolled his eyes.

+Aj….+

She sighed and gave it up. A good liar, she was not.

>Alright, alright, look…where did ya’ll come from?

+Me?+

>Naw. The other guy in this entirely empty room ‘sides you n’ me. Yes you!

+An egg.+

>…

+…what did you expect?+

>…Papa give me the strength not to murder this one. I like him, even if he’s an idiot, and it’d be a shame to bury ‘im early.

+I’m up for a wrassle if you are.+

>Maybe later. What I’m askin’ is, where’d that egg come from?

+..well when a mommy dragon and a daddy dragon love each other really much-+

She began beating him playfully with her hat

>Ya’ll know what I mean ya gall dang idjit!

Spike quickly backed out of reach chuckling, leaving the exasperated mare swinging at the air.

+I suppose I do…by the way you’re lovely when you blush. Cheeks as bright as rubies…+

>Awww stop it you….

She blushed harder as he smiled in appreciation.

>A-any way, I was just tryin’ to figure out how a dragon came to be in canterlot.

Spike shrugged

+Way it was told to me, I was hatched by twilight as part of her entrance exam to the school for gifted unicorns. I figured it wasn’t that uncommon.+

>Then how is it ya’ll are the only dragon I ever seen in canterlot. Pretty much only one in most of equestria from what I’ve seen?

Spike blinked.

+Huh…+

>Right?

+That is weird. I mean, it seems like there should be at least one other, right?+

>Well yeah!

+But there aren’t…+

>See? It’s odd.

+yeah…+

>…I’m gonna get to the bottom of this. Figure Twi’ oughta know something don’t ya think?

He shrugged.

+Probably.+

>Well alright! Let’s go!

+No thanks. Knock yourself out though.+

>…What? You’re not curious?

+Well sure, a little. But, I mean honestly? Last time I dug into my heritage I nearly got myself and 3 of my friends eaten. I think I’ll sit this one out. Probably safer.+

>If you say so. Later loverboy!
------------------------------------------
Entering the lab she saw her friend bent over some experiment or other.

>Hey Twi!

‘AJ! What brings you to my humble laboratory?’
The orange mare gazed around the cavernous, faintly humming space which stretched as far as the eye could see in three directions, thousands of pinpricks of light glowing in the distance.

>…humble…right…

‘Oh, AJ…you haven’t seen level 2!’

>…

The purple mare smiled.

>Welp. That is a new kind o’ fear. Let’s change subjects.

‘Aw…’

>Look Twi’ I got a question for ya. S’bout Spike.

‘Use plenty of lube, and like I said before he’ll probably claw and bite so you may want to wear longer clothing or a glamour charm when you go into public. Don’t worry about contraception, the DNA is different enough that when you’re ready I’ll probably need to whip something up to help the process along. Although…your magic does have some association with plant fertility if that also applies to ponies….’

She looked up at the orange mare whose eyes had gone as wide as saucers, blushing furiously trying to hide her face behind her hat.

‘…That wasn’t your question was it?’

>It was not

‘…’

>...

‘…SO! Spike! What do you want to know about our number one assistant!?

>R-Right! Uh…where’d he come from?

Twilight blinked.

‘…knew your family was traditional, but this is downright remedial. OK, So, when a mommy dragon and a daddy dragon love each other very much-‘

>I WILL STUFF YA’LL IN ONE A’ YER OWN GAL DANGED TUBES!
‘…I’ll be good.’

The orange mare sighed.

>Look. I’m just tryin’ ta’ figure out where that school o’ yours got that egg! I gettin’ ‘em and hatchin’ ‘em were a regular thing, then wouldn’t we have seen more dragons runnin’ around canterlot?

‘…huh.’

>Right?

‘Let me check my database.’

Turning to her terminal the princess punched some keys and let it work, colorful bars and lights indicating its’ progress.

‘This could take a little while. Tea?’

>That’d be lovely

<A few minutes later>

‘…annnnnd done. Let’s see what we’ve got.’

She looked at her screen.

‘…well that’s strange.’

>What? What’s strange?

‘There’s no results. Nothing in the database at all about dragon eggs.’

>…maybe it just hasn’t been loaded in yet?

‘Unlikely. Spike and I have loaded in the last 500 years worth of scientific, statistical, and legal data into the system. That includes acquisitions. If we got a dragon egg in the last 5 centuries it should be here.’

>Well…there’s no way he’s been around for 500 years…is there?

‘I…I don’t know. I would think the egg would go bad wouldn’t it?’

>Normally, yeah.
‘Hm…’

>huh….Wait! I know! How about askin’ over at the school ya’ll went to? They had the egg right? So they must have some record or someone who remembers how they got it!

‘Great idea! Let’s go!

>uh….could you maybe…go alone?

‘AJ?’

>Look Twi, I get letters from them pretty regular asking to ‘do them the honor of training at their academy’ Frankly, I’m worried if I go in there they’ll snatch me up and not let me leave until they fill mah head with a bunch o’ magic and junk.

Twilight would have done maud proud.

‘How horrible. A fate worse than death.’

>Knew you’d understand. Well go on now, I’ll be here waitin’, let me know what ‘ya find!

‘ugh…’
---------------------------
Twilight was ushered into a small office in one of the highest towers in the School for Gifted Unicorns.

‘Good afternoon Headmaster’

[Twilight Sparkle! Hello! How is one of our most successful, prestigious, and wealthy former students this fine day?]

‘Still unlikely to give you yet more money this year no matter how much you butter me up.’

[Eh, can’t blame and old colt for trying can you? So what brings you here today?]

‘Well…it’s about Spike.’

[Your dragon? Fascinating specimen. Only one of his kind I’ve ever met]

‘…ever?’

[Do I look like dragon crap to you? I’ll need a new tailor then!]

‘Heh, no…no. It’s just…I find it odd that you’ve only ever met ONE dragon when the entrance exam to get in is hatching a dragon egg! You’d think it would have come up before y’know?’

[Ah yes! I see now. Well Princess Sparkle let me ask you a question, if I may.]

‘Certainly.’

[Are there many texts on dragons in this establishment?]

‘No. That was actually rather problematic at one time when spike was having an…issue.’

[Yes, the ‘greed growth’ incident. Fascinating reading…after the fact of course.]

‘Of course.’

[Well Princess Sparkle, another if I may. Would this institution be so lacking in curiosity that we would not study dragons to the fullest extent were we able?]

‘Well…no. Actually I vaguely recall having to intervene repeatedly when one or the other of the faculty wanted to run some experiments on him.’

[‘He’s not a subject! He’s my little brother!’ I believe was your argument of choice]

‘Heh…you do have a good memory don’t you.’

[It's what gets me all sorts of attention.]

He said waggling his brows at her.

She smiled back jovially.

[So Princess! What exactly is it you want to know about our young draconic friend?]

‘Well…where did he come from?’

[Ah…well you see when a mommy-]

‘STOP! I meant the egg you great old windbag!’

[HAH! Windbag am I? …well I suppose that is accurate. The missus always compliments my lung capacity.]

‘Ewewewewewew!’

He roared with laughter at her embarrassment.

‘AS I WAS SAYING! I meant where did his EGG come from.’

[Oh, that was donated by princess Celestia at the founding of the school.]

‘…B-But that was 800 years ago!’

[Yes?]

‘But that means spike is 800 years old!’

[Eh….maybe, maybe not. Frankly, we expected the egg was infertile or dead until you hatched it. It seems likely it was in a state of suspended animation somehow. Honestly I’ve always been more interested in what could be the cause of his…unusual morphology.]

The purple princess paused.

‘What do you mean?’

[…oh? Well, only that he is unusual for a dragon. At least as far as we know. The purple and green coloration is rarely seen during migrations, we’ve never observed a wingless dragon before him, and the greed growth…well we’ve no way of knowing for certain if that is normal for dragons but at least some of the faculty believe the magic used to hatch him caused him to mutate!]

‘I-I did that?’

She said looking stricken.

[..W-well my dear…I mean it’s only a theory, no way to test it after all…and besides! If you hadn’t hatched him he would have just remained in there forever so, really, even IF he did get mutated, you gave him a chance at life! Surely that’s something?]

‘Y-yeah. Your right. Thank you headmaster’

[No trouble at all.]

‘A-and you’re sure? Absolutely sure? Celestia never donated another egg, no egg was ever swapped out…you’re sure?’

[My dear girl, the records have been passed down to each headmaster since the first and as far as I can tell we have only ever had the one egg!]

‘But what about all the others who passed the entrance exam!? Didn’t they have to hatch eggs!?’

[Well they were all required to try. It was Celestia herself who set that test in place. I’m afraid it’s a bit of a trick on our part you see. The written test you take beforehand is the actual determining factor. We always assumed the point of the egg test was to show the young and the gifted that they still needed training to reach their full potential, to present them with an insurmountable test! After your success however…well now we use a painted rock and CALL it an egg. Celestia’s orders. Seems a bit unfair to those who came after you but…well who am I to argue with a princess?]

‘But…doesn’t that mean everyone else failed? Wouldn’t they think they weren’t getting in.’

[We’d always give them a ‘second chance’ a much simpler test they could easily pass if they really did know the basics and ‘let’ them in that way.]

‘oh…so then…where did Celestia get the egg?’

[That, my dear, you’d need to ask her yourself. I’m not privy to such I fear.]

‘Ok. Well, thanks for seeing me today!’

[No trouble at all. And do tell me what the Princess tells you would you? Spike really is a fascinating specimen, a wingless dragon! Ha!]

Minutes later she arrived back at the castle to find applejack pacing nervously.

>…Well? What’d ya’ll find out?

‘Come on. We need to go see Celestia’
-------------------------
They found her at tea.

‘Princess Celestia!’

“Twilight Sparkle! And Applejack! Both of you….what do I owe the pleasure?”

>Where did spike come from? An’ I swear if you start talkin’ ‘bout mommy and daddy dragons I will buck you in to next week!

“Oh myyyyyy~”

‘AHEM! Mares, please! Princess Celestia, after looking through historical records and consulting with the Headmaster at the School for Gifted Unicorns we’ve determined that Spike may have been brought here as an egg 800 years ago by you. Frankly, I find this hard to believe and I would like an explanation of just WHERE he came from!’

“So…you learned that much? That’s too bad I had hoped no one would ask or that they wouldn’t find out that much….tsk.”

>Now look we’ve been runnin’ all around tryin’ to find this out so just tell us already, and I’ll know if yer fibbin’.

“Element of honesty…sigh. As you wish. I suppose it isn’t really a secret.”

The pair of mares settled in to listen to the princess’ explanation.

“You see, about 200 years after Luna was banished I found myself becoming increasingly enamored of baked goods. They began to be one of my only joys in life. In order to push the limits of their potential I began to organize expeditions to seek out rare and flavorful ingredients.”

>no….

“They brought me the grandest flour, the sweetest sugar, the silkiest of milks… and the finest of eggs.”

>no no no….

“On one such occasion I was presented with an uncommonly large egg and told that it would reach its maximum potential in a millennia but only if properly prepared with annual infusions of magical energy. Not wanting to sacrifice my chef’s precious backing time on the preparation of one ingredient which would not be used for so very long, I instead set up the School for Gifted Unicorns with the egg as a ‘test’, ensuring that it would get regular infusions.”

‘…I…see…’

“It was quite a surprise when Spike popped out all those years ago! I thought it to be unfertilized!”

>YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS YOU GOT RIGHT IN THE PAST THOUSAND YEARS WAS ENTIRELY FOR A BETTER CAKE!?

“Yes? …Is that…is that a surprise?”

In unison the other two princesses face hoofed.

>Wait a minute…YOU WERE GOING TO EAT SPIKE!

“Well…I mean, I didn’t KNOW it was spike or anyone rea-“

>I’m gonna buck ya.

‘AJ no!’

>Imma buck ya!

“ooo…Buck me real hard”

<POP> <POP>

>INNUENDO CAN’T SAVE YOU NOW!

The red eyed mare charged and slammed both back hooves into the ruler still struggling to get away, smashing her clear through the roof.

‘AJ!’

>SHE HAD IT COMIN’ TWI! SHE HAD THAT COMIN’! KEEP THAT CANNIBAL AWAY FROM ‘MAH DRAGON, AND DON’T YOU NEVER TELL HIM WHAT WE LEANRED ‘YA HEAR!? HE’S HAPPIER NOT KNOWIN’!

‘Technically she wouldn’t be a-‘

>DON’T CARE!

<Slam>

High above Canterlot the princess fell, her wings having been shattered from the force of the kick all she could do was watch as the ground rushed up.

“You know…I bet this will get me two weeks off…I really must thank dear applejack when I awake…”

<KERSPLAT>

=Two weeks later=

Things had died down with Celestia in the hospital, she was due to be released today and Applejack had at last cooled down over what was ultimately water under a very old bridge.

Twilight Sparkle however, worked away in her lab, one loose end to tie up.

Twilight looked down at a sketchpad she was brainstorming on. Gene tonics, jet pack, anti-gravity implants…She wasn’t sure how and she wasn’t sure when, all she knew is that she may be in some way responsible for taking his wings away and someday…she was going to make that dragon fly.

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>Screwloose
"12"
'???'
[???]
~~~~~~

>...nnngghhhh.

"No, Screws."

>Have you heard of Gulags? No, really pervert, have you? Because that's what this feels like to me. It's genocide, is what you're doing.

"As someone who is currently on the brink of actual extinction, I would like to take this moment to stress how offensive your comparison is."

>Bah! You'll walk it off.

"...I.. I don't... ugh."

>Just let me do a little science? Just a little? I'm not asking for much, I just want to test some skin cells reaction to this new chemical mixture I just thought up... by the by, I need bleach. My straightjacket has a... stain...

"No."

>You hear that? Genocide. Literal, actual genocide of possibilities, dying before you. Can you hear their screams, pervert? Can you tear your gaze away from my perfect hooves long enough to understand? This is death. This is the death of something beautiful, and you caused it. You are denied my hooves, pervert, you are denied them, and shall touch them no longer, not until you have faced penance for your many... many crimes.

"...no."

>Okay! That's it! Bug Broodmare! Fatso! I require assistance!... BB? Fatty?... Hello?

"Huh, normally they at least give some kind of response, I wonder what's... up?

The light glistened off his chitinous skin when his hoof touched the door. He held it there, just a second longer than he should. Not opening it, not looking outside.

Slowly, he pushed the door open, peering out into the hallway. She could hear nothing from the other end of the door.

>Interesting... what do you suppose is wrong with them, Pervert?... Pervert?... Pervert, I swear if this is just a way to get me to reconsider... Pervert!.... Twelve!?

Nothing came from the changeling. He stood still, his neck and head out the door, robotically rigid in his stance. Her heart sized when he began to walk forwards, still ignoring her, still not a sound coming from the other side of the door.

>TWELVE!

But he said nothing, merely moved out the door, and shut it behind him. Like a hammer coming down on an anvil, she heard the door click locked, and he was gone. All alone at last, there was silence.

It was only now that she noticed the lights behind her, deeper in the room, had all gone dark.

>...Who's doing this...

She was not a mare who understood fear quite well. In fact, the more she thought of it, the more she regarded it as useless. She was a mare who discovered, who sought answers. She sought answers in life, the universe and all things, even if they screamed in pain as she did so. But none of that mattered. Right now, all that mattered was finding one single answer in a universe of them.

>Who...

'Well, since you seemed so curious.'

She snapped around, spinning on her hooves now freed from her supposedly inescapable jacket. She did not think, an odd thing for her, instead choosing to shoot first, and ask questions later.

Or, more accurately, toss her hidden scalpel first, and find the answers in the brain of whatever poor sap had been stupid enough to seek her out all 'alone'. There were few limiters in her life, and they were all currently indisposed. A fatal mistake.

Or it would have been, if the hoof that her blade sunk into hadn't failed to create a hole. Mostly because it had been beaten to the punch.

By biology.

>...you...

He emerged from the shadows with a trained, easy step. Yet, even as his front half stepped into the light, it seemed to carry with him the darkness on his skin. Black as the shadows he had left, and eyes of green, her unseen foe had emerged.

>Discount pervert! Well hello there!

'Hello, crazymare.'

>Ha ha! Sooooo, this was all you? Wow, okay, if you wanted to be alone with me so much you should have just asked!

She turned, baring her side to him and giving him a full view as she twitched her tail above her back.

>Jeeze, you know, most stallions when they want a booty call just go 'hey, wassup, need some o' dat BRAH'. You don't have to be so theatrical.

'Just so you know, hearing you say that? Makes me want to vomit.'

>Just so you know, saying that even for a second makes me want to vomit... blasted stunted wastes of brainpower and cells. We should be putting them to much better uses!

'Test subjects?'

>I'm not so one track! I would use them to feed my actual test subjects too... after they were tested.

'If you say so.'

>Alright, come on, we going to do this or not? Stick it in me! Be hard, I don't like it gentle!

'I'll pass.'

>Oh, okay, well if you're not taking me up on it then I hope you don't mind if I have a turn!

She spun, yet another blade that had been so carefully hidden away emerging from her straightjacket. She didn't bother going for the skin or chitin, no, she was well aware of how durable these things could be.

That said, she's fairly certain that eyes, even durable ones, would always be a weak point.

Or so she thought.

>Well that's just not fair. Not even open to a little experimentation? You don't know, you might like it, but so stuck in your ways. See, this is why we never went steady, you and me.

The changeling's shrug was quite hard to see. Being this close to her glowing hoof as it lingered just out of stabbing range of his eye was messing with her vision something fierce.

He swatted the thing from her grasp, letting her fall to the ground the moment the weapon was sent across the room. Though his actions could not be described as 'rough' per say, she certainly felt like such.

>Really? That's it?

'I would rather get to business, if you're done.'

>Done!? Oh, Discount Pervert, you poor soul. You know nothing of science. When someone has a hypothesis, they have to test it under many conditions before they can confirm their theory!... And my theory that you'll scream like a little bitch if I stab you hasn't been confirmed ye-

The air beside her head was refreshing, cool as it wafted in where it had previously been unable. But then, before it had been blocked by white, pretty hair.

>... I didn't miss that, in case you were wondering.

He shrugged once more, still very much stone faced as he looked to her.

'Force of habit.'

>Well, since you're not going to be a real stallion and give me some of that black licorice, and you're just so closed off from the mere idea of having a bit of fun being on the receiving end for once... what did you want.

Smoothly, he pulled a rolled scroll from his hooves, unrolling it in front of her and letting her see quite clearly the inscriptions therein.

>...Oh, Discount Pervert! You know just how to get my motor running! Mmmmm, keep this up and who knows what I'll let you do to me.

Her eyes darted with a joyous spark as she read over the parchment, teeth all bared in a grin of joy as she drank in every inch.

It was only when she got to the end that her excitement fizzled, just a little bit.

>...Well, now I'm upset.

She snapped forwards, her head crumpling in the paper too fast for Seven to see. Though he was unmoved by the blow, he was no different then any pony was when something is draped across his eyes.

Blind, like anyone else, too blind to see her go around to his side, and pull out one final scalpel. Pity, she thought, she would have to resmuggle these all over again.

That's alright, small sacrifice to make to watch him rock his head around, clearly too afraid to rip the paper dug ever so slightly into his horn to merely tear the paper free. His neck just looked so inviting...

>Discount Pervert, I will put up with a lot from you. But one thing I'll never put up from anyone is someone as stupid and ill equipped as you thinking you have any place in the science I know! I had been planning to merely experiment on you... but I'd rather make a point. Ha! Get it! Cause-

Her hoof, her mouth, her breath, and her bravado. All stopped.

Every one of them, stopped, when she felt a massive paw close around her neck, and lift her up into the air.

In her haze, she just barely clung to consciousness as her hooves dangled helplessly off the ground. The scalpel, her last one, clattered to the ground beneath her as her coat turned even bluer than it had before. Helpless, she could only struggle weakly, limbs twitching like a puppet who's strings had been severed, as the world grew cold.

[Me not planning to eat you... but rather make point.]

She felt hot breath along her back, chasing away just a bit of the chill running down her spine. She could hear, but not see, the maw opening up, and closing in on her.

'It's alright, Buttercup, put her down. I've got enough of a charge she wouldn't have seriously injured me, it's fine.'

The snarl behind her said it was very much not fine, but she was not one to argue with the gift of being granted the ability to breath once more.

She did not even wait for her vision to return before she spun around. She had to see it, had to confirm it.

And confirm it she did.

>...Impossible...

Manticores did not sneak, they did not move silently, they roared and pounced and gnashed and thrashed. They did not hold their prey with their paws, they used their claws to tear them apart. Manticores did not glare.

[Will eat you.]

Manticores did not talk.

>...you did it... you stupid.... you stupid fool, you did it.

The first laugh was a chuckled.
The second, a chortle.
The third came from her throat.
The fourth came from her belly.
The fifth made her open her mouth side wide it hurt.
The sixth made her clutch her sides in pain.
The final one, the seventh, brought tears to her eyes, and she cackled with all she had.

>You stupid fool, you did it! You actually did it! You cracked the... AHAHHAHAHAH!

It was a long time before she stopped, and looked to the manticore once again.

>Did you merely come here to brag? If so, by all means, let it out. I'll listen, you've earned it. Go on... speak. Brag, sing to the heavens! Sing in the name of science!

'I need your help for the next phase.'

Like a popped balloon, all her hot air just came out.

>...Ohhhh?

'Yes. I've reached a critical phase. The alterations made are becoming more unstable at this phase, and as one of the most brilliant bio-medical minds on the planet, I hoped you could assist me in this matter.'

>Oh... ohhhh... hmmm.. hmmm hmmm hmm...

She poked her tongue out of her cheek, skipping around as she looked up to the manticore, scanning all around her. The lion hybrid seemed none too appreciative.

>Oh my, you're quite the specimen. Quite strong, quite agile looking too. Clever in ways not present in your basic instincts, and just pretty as a peach to boot. Your vocabulary is a little... well, you did have Seven here as your teacher, I'll cut you some slack.

The beast snarled, swatting out with a paw that was only barely dodged.

[You no say that! Him smart! Smarter than you!]

>Feisty! Oh my, quite the little tagalong you've got here, Seven. Where ever did you get someone like here? Must have been quite a challenge to reign in such a strong beast, though I shouldn't be too surprised, she actually seems to care about you quite a lot... but then...

She looked back with that same cockeyed, maddened smile.

>That's what this is all about, isn't it?

He remained tellingly silent.

>I see... so, you're off to figure out to make ponies obsolete, are you?

Her tail flicked under his chin, and she batted her eyes at him.

>Even little old me? Surely you'd make an exception on the matter for someone like me, wouldn't you?

Again, he remained silent. Not a word, not a sound.

>...Figures. You look lame in the sack anyway.

The beast above her grunted, her eyes straining just a bit in confusion.

>Oh ho ho! Haven't taught her that one yet, eh? Well... plenty of time to tell her about the Bugbears and the Breezies.

'Your assistance, Screwloose, will you give it?'

>... Tell me, Seven, how much do you really know about the mind? Do you know what all the parts are named? How they function, what their purpose is?

'...no.'

>...Good. I'm very proud of you. The books just try to make you rely on them, stifle discovery in favor of a checklist. But do you know... how to break them?

'...yes.'

>...Good.

She flicked him again, sashaying her hips as she walked away. Without losing a step, her hoof shot up, and pointed to a spot on the side of her head.

>Right here.

Without missing a beat, it pointed to another.

>And right here. You had better have memorized those spots, Seven. I'll only show them once.

'I was hoping for a bit more than that.'

>Yes, well, too bad. You've come farther than I ever did on this one, you're going to have to be the trailblazer here. Good luck, and don't be afraid to get your hooves... messy. Some things in science only come though ripping up the stuff on top of it, and watching it while it's still alive... but oh, what a shame it would be...

She looked back, that same mad smile on her face.

>What a shame it would be if someone told your Queen what you had been up to. Why, if someone like me told the guards, oh the reputations of a species that would be tarnished... so scary, don't you think?

He shared a look with the manticore, one Screwloose didn't like one little bit. It seemed... cocky.

>Well, I suppose I could be persuaded to keep my mouth shut... so long as you continued to, say, update me on every step and share your notes? Promise not to take too much of the credit, but this is a rather sore spot for me.

'No thanks.'

>...No thanks? Discount Pervert, I don't know if you realize what's at stake here. You may think you're so stealthy and capable, but they're containing me, you little fool. They're containing ME. I have a million ways to prove it was you in here, no matter how great you think you are. Either you start hoofing over your research, or your Queen is about to get very, very angry... what is it going to be?

'...No thanks.'

She paused, but no matter how long she thought about it, none of that made any more sense than it had before.

He thought she was bluffing, right? Surely, that was it. Well... she wasn't, and he was about to find out-

>Where do you think you're going?

The changeling shrugged, not looking back for a second as he passed her. At his side, the manticore threw a cloak around herself... well, rather a massive black curtain was more accurate. It covered her ever inch, not a single inch left. Though how stealthy that would be when a massive black living rug ran through was likely... minimal.

Way less so when she put a very shiny, steel helmet on her head, one in the shape of a gryphons head.

>I said, where do you think you're going?

He paused, his hoof on the doorknob, lingering.

'...I might come back, after all. Bubbles would like to see you again. It's been so many years... little doggy.'

Her head spun for a second, memories coming back in waves.

>...You named it?

'I named her, yes.'

>...That's stupid. Almost as stupid as you walking out that door. What, do you plan on mindnumbing everyone?

He smirked at her, winning smile gone wide, and pushed open the door.

She felt like being petty.

>GUARDS! GUARDS!

In a second, the doors slammed open, double doors wide and spread. On the other side, Glimmer, the batpony mother of the worlds youngest changeling, and Haymaker, the guard with way too literal a name, stood at the ready. Between them, 12 himself, looking on with worry.

~What's wrong!?~

-Did he do something!?-

>Did he... what are you talking about!? That changeling clearly broke in here! Him and his... his...

The breath left her as they both brought hooves to her face, while Twelve was merely content to glare at his fellow ling.

"Really, asshole?"

'Totally worth it.'

>...Wha...

~Just sign out, jackass.~

>Sign.. out?

He scribbled something on a time sheet, named and down to the second.

She never stopped staring at him.

-Celestia fuck, your gryphon friend is scaring me.-

[You should be.]

~Just get out of here.... freaking visitors.~

'Can't blame a ling for wanting to see an old acquaintance. Come, Buttercup, let's be off.'

~...Freaking buttercup?~

[You problem with that?]

~No Sir, I do not... It is sir, right?~

[...]

~Noted.~

She couldn't believe her ears, couldn't believe her eyes.

He signed in, did everything by the book...

-Did she give you any trouble?-

'Came at me with a bunch of scalpels, I'm afraid.'

~Oh for fucks sake!~

-Where does she keep getting these!?-

'No worries, I knew the risks... good day to you, Screwloose... we might see each other again.'

There's no way she would convince them, not like this. He had played the part too well, as any actor should. To show herself now would merely indict her further than the glimmering blades they spotted on the ground. He would walk free, and there was nothing to be done to stop him.

He started to walk off, almost made it out too.

But she wasn't going to let him, not just yet.

'Oh, Seven?'

Every one of the three guarding her, every single one, jumped at that.

“Wha... huh...”

'Come here, one last thing...'

She leaned in, covering her mouth with her hoof so that none could see. No matter how close they leaned, they could not hear. This was for him, this was for him alone and nobody else, not even Twelve.

She pulled back with a toothy smile, a wild grin, and an ever so slight bounce in her step.

'...Thanks, I suppose...'

He looked over her, lingering at her straightjacket for just a second, no more than enough time for a single tick of the clock.

'...I'll think about it.'

>You'd better... you're much more fun than you let on...

Nothing more to be said, or done. He gave a look to his companion, and they trotted off. Or stomped off, in the case of the latter. Slow, easy and without a hint of urgency, they were gone.

But not forgotten.

“...What the hell was that about?”

She smiled, that same crazy, wild smile.

>The opposite of genocide, Pervert...

She rocked back, straining against her, now completely fastened, straightjacket.

Nobody had any idea what that meant.

“...He didn't hit on you, did he? I swear to the hivemind... better not be. I might just be a drone, but I can scrap, you'd better believe.”

She laughed, flicking him with her tail.

>If you want to keep the other stallions from me, you'd better work harder than that, Pervert. Make me an offer I can't refuse.

He huffed, and scoffed, and looked away.

But his hooves did not stop before trailing down, and starting to massage her hooves.

>T-thaaaat'a boy.

~...This is fucked up to you too, right?~

-Meh, PJ's weirder. Would not believe what she asked me this morning.-

There would be time to think about the possibilities, she had nowhere to be. Time to contemplate that someone so utterly ignorant could surpass her and not even realize his discovery.

There would be time for it all.

And she would savor every second she watched.

>MMMM! That's the spot!

And other things... of course.

All in the name of science and progress.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Cadence"
'DT'
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and I can smell burning...wait. Now for our main segment..Dreamhouse Pinkie!
Upbeat music.

"WHY WAS THERE CHOCOLATE INSTEAD OF WATER!?!"

'I DON'T KNOW! IT'S ALL OVER THE WALLS!'

"Okay, we don't need to panic. We just need to get some paper towels. Where are the paper towels?"

A cyan chair opens it's eyes and the cushion is it's mouth.
[She stores the new ones in the cupboard.]

"'Gah!'"
DT shoots the chair exploding it out the wall.

"Why did you do that?"

'I thought it was one of those shadow things again'

"I think it was just her dream furniture."

'Uh oh.'

"One thing at a time. Paper towels."
Wipes the walls removing the frosting too.
"...this isn't going well."

'Maybe we should just leave now. We're just making things worst.'

"No, we can still make this right."

'How?'

"We just need to calmly explain to her what happened like mature adults."

'Um, I'm not an adult.'

"...On second thought leaving is not a bad plan."
They both run out the door.

'You know, maybe we're overreacting. Pinkie doesn't seem like the type to get mad. Even over a dream house.'

>WHAT HAPPENED TO MY DREAMHOUSE!!!

'I WAS WRONG!'

Life in the dreamhouse~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>Jetset
“Random Ponies”
‘AJ’
~~~

For once, he sat behind the desk.

“-and it just seems like Wind Chime won’t even look at me, ya know? I think she’s seeing another clown behind my back.

>…

And he didn’t exactly know why.

“Bricks keep vanishing from my house! It looks like a messed up version of Jenga!”

>…

All he knew for certain was that each of these ponies….

“I can’t feel my right hoof, do you think I should go see the doctor?”

>…

Every single one of these ponies trotting into his Queen’s office….

“My friend keeps beating me at Tic-Tac-Toe and it’s driving me mad! Do you think I should just stop playing or look up tutorials?”

>…

Each of them were dumber than the last.

So it came as no surprise when his heart leapt as the door opened and his orange Queen reentered from her bathroom break.

‘Jet? Yer' still here? Landsakes, boy, when Ah’ ‘take mah’ chair’, Ah’ didn’t meant it literally!’

Her following giggle warmed him as he professionally slid from her throne, such that it was.

>I stayed because for just a moment I wished to experience on my own what one of my Queens goes through on a daily basis where handling the problems of others takes forefront.

‘Ah’ see. An’…?’

>And I’d rather shoot myself in the throat with Spike’s gun on full blast than go through even five more seconds. You, my Queen, are indeed stronger than I. Good day.

And he vanished.

‘…Silly lil’ spy.’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"Twilight"
'Pinkie
[Dash]
{FS}
(Rarity)
~Various~
~~~~~

>NEXT!

~Why the fuck don't we ever see these other species except for like, one time? Don't Yaks live within train distance of us!?~

"If you had the option to visit this place on a regular basis, and knew about all the invasions... would you?"

~...~

>NEXT!

~~~~~

~How the fuck do last names work!? She's Twilight SPARKLE, her brother is Shining ARMOR, and she doesn't even have one! It's just Applejack!~

'...The frickerfrack is a last name?'

[Like... two names like mine or Pinkie's?]

{Does mine count? It's technically two words.}

~...Shoot, wrong universe.~

'Happens to me all the time.'

>NEXT!

~~~~

~Uh... I don't want to sound rude, and this one is directed at Pinkie Pie, but uh... I can't help but notice your parents are very... bland colors?~

~And your sisters are bland colors...~

'...'

~And you are very, very bright and pink.~

'...'

~...Now, I don't want to SAY it out loud, but-~

Poof.

~Did your hair just go flat?... Oh hey! You're a dull color now too! Well, that clears all that mess up.~

'...'

~...Where did she get a knife-~

(FLY YOU FOOL!)

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"DT"
'SS'
-32-
~88~

-Goooooood afternoon, rugrats!-

"What the fuck do you want?"

-Language, young filly. Talk like that much more and no handsome stallion is going to-oh, wait, I forgot, you're rich so it doesn't matter.-

"Damn right...HEY!"

~Do you have to be a collossal dick to everyone we talk to today?~

-What can I say, I'm attempting to emulate our beloved Queen.-

>32, what do you want?

-Such a frigid tone, Spike, I thought we'd mended fences.-

>We did, and you're standing on the fence and jerking it back and forth by insulting my friends.

"And where was my fence mending, huh?"

-Oh, that's simple, I dislike you, I don't dislike him. The grey one's okay, you keep doing what you're doing.-

'...thank you?'

~You know what? I'll handle this. It's about 77.~

>"'...'"

"Rescue mission?"

>Rescue mission, DT get Tubbubbabloo-

"It is not that hard to say!"

>Silver, you...dodge things really good.

'Can do!'

>And I'll-

~He's getting married.~

>"'...'"

'...EEEEEEEEEE!'

"TO WHO!?"

>Cheerilee!?

-Yes? Why is everyone reacting to this with shocked shouting? Between you, Chrysalis, and 42, we might as well start some kind of screaming choir- -

"I call dibs on best mare!"

-...-

~...~

-Oh...-

~Helllllll no!~

-You can't call dibs on that!-

"I call dibs, asshole! I'm gonna be his best mare!"

-Who's to say this is going to be a pony ceremony! I could be best bug!-

~Or *I* could be best bug!~

"He's marrying a pony in Equestria, therefore, pony wedding!"

-Cultural appropriation!-

~...what?~

-I don't know, I read it in a pamphlet the other day and it sounded good.-

>I can't believe they're arguing over this, can you, Silver?

'Eeeeeeeee...'

>...you just realized your agility's going to make it easy to catch the bouquet, didn't you?

'Eeeeeeeee...'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >SA
"18"
'Celestia'
~~~~

>Annnd, that's pretty much what happened.

"...I see..."

'And thus, the hate fills her eyes. Do not say I did not warn you.'

>Hey, she deserves to know too, it's as much about her.

"...I see..."

>That said, yes, I'm noticing hate. There is a distinct amount of hate. Eighteen? Lovebug? Are you uh... are you okay?

"...I see..."

'...Lovebug?'

>She likes it when I call her that, and I am trying to calm her down.

'Not working.'

>Yeah, that was a failure. Should I go for another cheeksmooch?

'I fear that the cheeksmooch would just not cut it.'

>...This is a dark day indeed.

"..."

>Eighteen? Please talk to me? Pleaaase?

"...Is it still murder if she's undead?"

'Very much so, yes.'

"Ah... how long can we lock her up for?"

>Not in our jurisdiction, so none?

"...C-can I hit her? Just once?"

>...Probably shouldn't...

"She touched my papers... and she's trying to spite Caddy... and I just want to hit her so much...."

'Now, as explained, there's reasons for-'

"HISSSSSSSSS!"

'Point taken... now do you feel regret?'

>Little bit.

"HISSSSSSSSS!"

>I take full responsibility for this.

'...Does she remind you of Chrysalis right now too?'

>The scary thing?

"RRRGGGGGGG!"

>...she actually reminds me of me...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Sunset
"???"
~~~~

She had been wrong.

She was mare enough to admit it, she had been wrong. She had been wrong to sneak into someone's home like that, she had been wrong to have such dark intentions for the information she received, but all of that paled in comparison to the real issue.

She had let herself lose sight of her real goal... again.

It just kept happening. She went in with such good intentions, she really had just been looking out for someone who had given her a second chance there. Every single word she spoke to Spitfire had been one hundred percent sincere, and she would've stopped herself right at the start if the mere idea of using this to hurt any of them had even crossed her mind.

But, of course, it never did. She never even entertained the idea her opinion would ever shift from what it had been to what it became. She never even thought for a second she would be moved from her original goal. This was about Cadence, of course.

And then it was about her being a sham, and then it was about needing to know the truth, and then it was about for the good of everyone, and then and then and then. Every single time, just like when she had been in these castle halls so very long ago. First it was about knowing the secrets Celestia would not share, then it was about respect, then it was about needing to know the truth, and then and then and then.

Every. Time.

So when she had finally, sadly left Applejack's office, she didn't quite know what she planned to do next. Every time. Every single time, it got warped, and every single time, it ended badly. Trusting her?... It was getting to the point she could barely trust herself.

She wanted to do good.

...but every time...

Maybe she should just hop back through the portal, and hope that somehow this process would repair her body. Couldn't be any worse than... than...

ZOOM!

>...Okay...

She lived in a land of magical horses that shot lasers out of their heads and occasionally had teaparties with chimeras who could warp time and space, but even she had to double take with that one.

"HIYA! There ya' are! Ah've been lookin' all over for ya'!"

>...H-hi...

Her chest hurt like it had never before looking at the thing in front of her. A changeling, so very small compared to the others, sitting in front of her with a massive smile on her face.

And a potted plant tied to her head.

...Her plant, to be more precise.

"Ya' left this back at the castle, silly! Ah' was s'posed ta' stay over there, but Ah' just couldn't! Ah' know what it's like ta' lose a plant, and I miss mister cactus every day..."

She only sort of listened to the bubbling words, far too focused on the little thing just sitting and waiting for her. The little thing who had rushed over the moment she had lost something to give it back to her, likely without so much as a second thought.

Did she know?...Probably not, if she did know of what she had planned, she would likely pelt her with marshmallows once more.

She'd probably deserve it.

"...and then Shiny says he didn't think it was possible ta' forget ta' water a cactus, but-hey! Are ya' gonna take it or not?"

Considering what she had been screaming to the one who gave her that plant not so long ago...

>...I uh...

Oh damn, there she was again. Looking concerned as only a child could. Now comes the prying, the questioning, the reveals and the hurt and the-

The bag of marsh-er, marchmalleys?

...And that was it. Nothing else said, she just gave her the bag, and she sat down, and she waited.

>...Are you going to ask what's wrong?

"Do ya' wanna tell me?"

Of course not, never. She never wanted to think of it again.

"Okay... whenever ya' wanna."

...That was it. That was everything. No more prying, or anything. She was just waiting for her to do whatever it is she wanted to do.

>I don't know if I'll ever want to.


"Oh... okay, I understand, lotta stuff ponies don't wanna talk about sometimes, it's okay! I don't wanna talk about some stuff neither. But that's okay! Marchmalleys always make me feel better!... or if they don't, Mommy or Shiny or Not-Mom or Auntie Twilight or Auntielestia or Eighteen or Forty Two or Uncle Spike or just whole bunches o' them will!... Ya' want me ta' go get Shiny? He's really really good with this!"

Ah, no. Probably not a good idea.

>...T-two?

"Ya huh!"

>You know what Eighteen... does for your mom, right?

"Yep!"

>...does that bother you? That she doesn't... do it all herself?

"...Nuh uh! Cause she's tryin' really hard, and she's gettin' better! I know what that's like when ya' want ta' do somethin' really much, and ya' try really hard, but it just doesn't work..."

>...Two?

"... Ah' failed mah' math test last week. Ah' studied for it really hard too, but the numbers were just... they kept confusin' me, and it made me mad, and then when it came back and Ah' didn't win, it made me really sad... but she sat down and told me all bout how it ain't always easy, but iffin' ya' work at it, ya' can always get better! Then we did it ta'gether, and next time Ah' took the test, I gotta B! I'm gonna get an A next time, fer' sure! So... mommy right now, she's gettin' F's, but Aunite Rarity and Auntielestia are helpin' her, and maybe someday, she'll get B's too, then A's! And maybe the thing above that!... Dunno what that is! So... so iffin' yer' feelin' like ya' can't do nothin', well... ya' gotta F, but if ya' want, Ah' can help ya' get a B next time!... or C's are okay too! Better than F's, huh?"

She swore her heart was going to break.

Literally, a crack down the rock and everything.

>...It's better than an F, yeah... it's just, really hard when you want something to go one way, but it's another.

"Ah' know, Ah' wanted the answers on the test ta' be what Ah' thought they were... but they weren't, and no cryin' on mah jingleball was gonna make 'em right."

Simply put.

Strangely effective.

>...Yeah... yeah... Two? Could you... do me a favor?

"Anythin', sure!"

>Could you take that to Applejack? I'll pick it up later, I just need to... talk, to someone. Just real quick.

"Okielokiedokie!... Ya' feel better?"

>...Y-yeah... think I do.

A tiny black hoof touched hers, and pushed that bag of marchmalleys to her chest.

"Keep that'in just in case. Ya' never know!"

>Yeah... ya' never know.

That same black hoof, and it's sibling, snapped forwards, wrapping around her neck and squeezing the life out of her.

"Sorry, Ah' know Ah'm not Shiny, but my hugs are good too!"

>...It's just fine. You did just fine....

She sword time got away from her, for when she came back too, the little changeling was gone. Nothing but the smell of soil...

And a bag of marchmalleys in her hooves.

>...you did just fine...

Time to earn that B.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"Actarius"
'JJ'
[88]
~~~

>OH COME ON, STALLION! Are you serious!?

"S-sorry, boss, uh... think I'm going to have to take one of my sick days. I know you just gave me a day off yesterday, and I really appreciate it, but-"

[He's fucking with you right now, right? I can SMELL BLOOD. There is blood in this room.]

'He'th acthually nuh tha bah offh, docthor thesth he'll be ouh preheh shoon.'

>...good lord, ling, what in the bountiful stupidity of my ancestors is wrong with you?

'Ah' caun feehl mah moufh.'

[Ho shit, really!? I thought you said we were in a hospital! A public hospital!]

>We are!

'Yah, tha docshor goh mad ah me. Shayd if ah do ih agah, he'll kih me ouh. He woulhn even treeh it, sahsh ah deshervh ih... ah' canna do. Ah' got caugh up in it.'

[NO SHIT, WHAT!?]

"Sorry, JJ..."

'Heh foun ih funny... ah' didn', wash realleh embarashen...'

[HA HA! NO WAYYYY!]

'Ih wash! Ya' should'ah sheen sha look sha nerse gave meh...'

>...

[HA HA! Holy shit, buddy! I can't believe you had the balls to-]

>Wait.

[What? Oh fuck no, I need to buy that ling a drink-]

>Jugglejack, how did you mess up your mouth, exactly?

'...Ah' tasteh some morphin...'

>Ah.

[WEEEEEEAKKK! I almost respected you!]

'Wha? Whasha mean?'

[What do you think I meant!? I thought you did the other thing!]

"...What? But that IV is just liquid drip so I don't get dehydrated, there's no medicine in it."

[Are you being serious right now!?]

"Why do changelings keep asking me that..."



"...Choked?"

'Ih doesh loo lik she wash shokin...'

[ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH ME RIGHT NOW!?]

>Sister? Don't question it. Actarius?... While I DO praise you for keeping my embassy undestroyed, and unharmed really, do remember that bricks are far easier to replace than bones.

"H-heh, yeah... bones are easier to replace then little kids, though."

>Little kids?

"He meansh too."

>...Take the next few days off.

"Wha?"

>That's an order! And... do see me when you come back, maybe I'll give you a special reward.

"...Like a raise?"

[ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW!? I CAN HEAR HIS EYEBROW WAGGLE! I CAN HEAR IT!]

"Is it itching? You should get that looked at, my uncle had one of those and it turned out to be cancer."

>...
[...]

"True story."

[ARE! YOU! SE-]

>Yes, they are, and trust me, I KNOW... take it easy, you two.

"Bye, boss!"

'Shee yah.'

They left shortly after, shaking their heads in disbelief.

"...My boss was pretty cool about this. I thought he was going to fire me."

'Heh sheems like a dick, yeeeah'

"And you'd know all about those."

'Like ya' wouldn'eh belieb! You too!'

"Heh, yeah... we deal with grumpy ponies and lings all the time!"

[ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?]

"..."

'...How dih she hear ush?'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Dash
"LD"
'Wonderbolts'
~~~

So many faces, all in a line.

>Okay! So... as most of you know, there has been an... incident, today.

So many faces, and she didn't recognize half of them.

>Now, while those responsible have been punished as was deemed fit, this sort of opened up a huge problem to the administration.

So many faces, all looking to her. Scared. If even the last two senior Wonderbolts couldn't do anything about her, what could they?

>This, of course, won't be tolerated, we won't stand for it, and if it endangers someone's life I'm bringing it down as hard as I can on who's causing it. We're the Wonderbolts, we're here to protect, and I didn't see a whole lot of protection going on.

They kept looking to her side as well. To the smirking, winning mare who stood at the ready of her captain. The one who had exposed a plot and earned her wings, as it were.

>Nothing more like that is ever going to slip past me, and if anyone tries, even as a joke, there's going to be consequences. Big ones, as I'm sure you've all heard by now.

She, their Captain, stood above them, beyond them, and there was nothing they could do.

>Now, with that out of the way, this also has brought to light to me a big, big problem... that we are really, really bad with just telling me when something's wrong. Seriously!? Look, I know 'protocol' says papers, because the administration is full of freaking nerds and every time they see a letter and a number connected by a hyphen they get a funny feeling in their business suits, but come on! It's me! I'm not some super princess, or someone who can just snap her hoof and make whatever I want, I don't even have an Element of Harmony anymore! It's gone! Sure, I'm awesome, and you should all take notes from my flying, but other than that, I'm... look, I don't want to ever have to do anything like what I just had to ever again. That was just... never again, okay? So if you've got a problem, tell me! To my face, please!

'...Seriously?'

They all thought him a fool for piping up.

>Yes, seriously!

'Oh, okay... why are you never at practice?'

Then they thought him just plain stupid and suicidal.

>Because I'm trying to work through the crap the old Wonderbolt's left behind, and it's hard and time consuming!

'It's been a year?'

>I know!... But, okay, point. If I make this just about the paperwork, nothing's actually going to get done. Fair enough, sorry I left you guys out in the rain like that, and I'll work to make sure that you all get put though your paces. And I'm not going soft on you! Oh, you think you missed me at practice now? I'm going to make sure by the end, you're begging for the days I was behind a desk, and at then end you're going to thank me for making you the best you could be!

To say that was unexpected as a response just plain didn't cut it.

'...What's with the terrible food in the mess hall? I don't mean terrible taste, I mean it's not healthy at all. Aren't we supposed to be the best?'

>Someone eats in the mess hall?

'Those of us not going to VIP stuff, yeah.'

>Well... shoot, I have to fix that, that's stupid. Okay, thanks... anything else?

'Can we still go to public events?'

>No! We are getting away from being celebrity athletes, thank you! No more VIP parties!

They all shifted. With her voice raised, surely now would be the worst time to-

'Uhhhh... we go to a lot more than VIP parties.... like, a lot.'

'I cut the ribbon at the new rainbow factory in south cloudsdale.'

>Oh... uh... I'll review it? I guess a little exposure would be pretty good. But no more races for the rich!

'Can we still race for non-rich? I like the races.'

'Me too!'

'We promise we won't bet on them!'

>...Well I guess that's not so bad. I mean, would be nice to show ponies what we can do.... would also be pretty hypocritical considering I only- nevermind! Fine, I'll still organize races... anything else?

First there was the quiet.
Then came the storm.

'I'm thinking we should probably be stationed in other places, shouldn't we? Isn't that what a military does?'

'Can we get some updated books on our protocols? These things are ancient!'

'Does this flightsuit make my butt look big?'

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone jumped, shifting back into position and stopping the endless onslaught of noise.

"We'll look at ALL of you, okay? But mobbing isn't going to help. Sooo... schedule meetings?"

The affirmative was like a wondrous melody.

>Heh... looks like you're going to make a pretty good second in command, Lightning Dust.

"S'why I'm the best... second best?"

>Better.

"Hey, I learned."

>...That you did, LD, I'm impressed. Trust me, you earned this.

They all chatted, already wondering what they were going to ask and request on their turn.
But the mare beside her cared only for one thing.

"Impressing you was always the plan."

The new dawn of the Wonderbolts had begun.

>Alright, recurits! Since I've been slacking on my duties, apparently... line up! We're doing drills!

And she was going to do it right this time.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >FS
"??"
~~~~

>Now, look, first off, I want to say I understand what you were trying to do. I don't approve of it!... But I understand.

"..."

>Now, with that said, some part of me, some part, wants to think you too knew what you were doing was wrong.

"..."

>But, on the off chance you don't, I would like to point out that any time you think the thought, "this requires me assembling my own militia of woodland creatures", I want you to reconsider. Reconsider that thought, because it will lead you to places.

"..."

>Places like a whole horde of woodland animals in war gear, looking ready to siege ponyville. I'm not saying you were planning to!... But it looked like that, a lot. A lot lot. Now... I understand why you did it, because I'm the one who brought up you helping the guard and for that I take responsibility, but for your part, I want an apology.

"..."

>... Now, please.

"Grrrawww."

>Thank you. And I want you to know, Harry, I'm not mad, just... Disappointed.

".......Mreeeee....."

>Please stop crying.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Soarin'
"Fleetfoot"
~~~

He found her exactly where he expected to, in the one place he could always count on her to run whenever she was feeling upset.

Her freakishly expensive, massively spaced, lavishly decorated, penthouse room on the top of the Cloudsdale Highrise.

He almost felt a little bad for her.

Almost.

>Fleets?

"UUBUHHHHHUHHHUHHHH!"

As expected, there she was, crying into her designer pillows, sobbing her eyes out while strangling the life out of the fluffy thing. She was shaking, and heaving, and she was probably going to be sick.

Scratch that, from all the wine bottles on the nightstand next to her, she was going to be amazingly sick.

"I-I-I-I CAN'T BELEUHVE WEH LOOSSHHHHH! UHHUHHUHUUUU!"

He didn't wonder why she didn't question how he got in, they both knew full well he had a key to this place. He could come in whenever he wanted, not like she would care. He's 'borrowed' more of her fancy lettuce spritzers than he would ever be able to pay back.

Especially now...

>I know Fleets, I know... but we knew there was a risk.

She just sobbed harder, hoof pounding into her extra soft cloud of a mattress while she heaved. He took his place on the bed, stroking her back while she let it all out.

"BUH ISH NOT FAIIIIIIRR! SHE ALWAYS WINNS!"

And out, and out, and out...

At least two hours, probably way longer, past before she was down to just gasping for breath, and lying on her side in misery.

>Feel better?

"...mm... mmsmmm..."

>Hm?

"Mfuhcn... "

>Fleets? What are you trying to say?

"...I'm fuckin' sorry, okay? Should'a... she only hated me. Could've left you in till that bitch just finally got more superpowers and quit. I'm... I'm fucking sorry..."

>...Wow.

Of all the things he expected her to say, that was by far the least one. Bottom of the list, somewhere between "Purple giraffes in the sea" and "I don't know how drugs work".

"I... it's my fault you got fired too... fucking... I'm sorry, okay?"

He didn't have the heart to tell her.

>Don't be. This was my call, as much as yours, you and me need to share the blame equally on this one.

"Ish just.... it's fuckin' better if she just hated me..."

>...Would've been better if we hadn't had to do this at all, and everything was just like it used to be.

That, she couldn't argue with it seemed.

>But it wasn't, we did it, we failed... here's the consequences. We've just got to deal with them.

That too, she couldn't argue with, and it hurt

>...Do you need me to help you move out your stuff?

She sniffled a bit, looking up at him with red, veined eyes.

"W-what?"

>Your stuff. You need me to help you move it out of here?

"...Why would I move it out?"

If he had to explain to her how money worked and that you couldn't stay in a five star penthouse for free, he was going to scream.

>You should probably think about... you know, cutting expenses? This place would eat up your savings in like an hour...

"..."

>Oh please dear Celestia, tell me you know what savings are and have at least something put away.

"..."

Yep, screams were imminent.

>Oh for the love of... Do you at least know what rent is?

"Yeah, it's that thing I haven't had to pay for over two years now."

Okay, screams, and maybe a good, hot, probably boiling shower from touching her.

>... uh...

"..."

>...You're not... sleeping with the owner for this room, are yo-EEEEEEENNNNGGG!

On second thought, less heat, more ice.

A lot more ice.

...On his lap.

>N-NO! NOOOO! You do not hit a stallion there!

"And you don't imply I've been whoring myself out for a room! I BOUGHT IT, Jackass!"

>...

"..."

>...I... ugh... okay, Fleetfoot? I'm going to tell you how leasing and rent works-

"I bought it, okay? BOUGHT IT. As in, he legally signed over this section of his airspace, and all the accompanying things within it, to ME, and I bought this whole structure! Only thing I'm losing is my room service... OH DEAR CELESTIA I'M LOSING MY ROOM SERVIIIICCCEEEEEE! BUUUHHHHHUHUHUHHHH!"

She was crying again.

He was trying not to. That hoof stung. A lot.

>...You bought the... airspace? How... You can't buy airspace!

"You can if he sells it."

>Wh... the airspace!?

"Yes! That's why I had to get the one on the very top! I said I needed it for takeoffs... I just like the view."

>...How much?

"..."

The way her eyes crossed as she tried to remember was, to put it mildly, unsettling.

The way she rolled off the bed, strolled over to a liquor cabinet, and grabbed a crumpled piece of paper from behind a bottle that had been shoved on top of it haphazardly was even more so.

The number on that bill of sale...

>ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? Oh fuck, Fleets! You're going to be in debt forever! This is more than we make IN A YEAR, and we're WONDERBOLTS!

"...Yeah?'

>Yeah!? YEAH!? Do you know how loans work!?

"Uhhhh... no."

>NO!? Oh fuck OH FUCK THE INTEREST RATES! THIS IS-

"Why would I need to know that? I've never taken out a loan on anything."

>....

He was rapidly running out of expressions of disbelief. Pretty soon he was just going to start phoning them in.

>...how did you..

"I swear to FAUST if you even imply-"

>No no no! Noooo... the wingmen have had enough abuse for today, thank you. You are many things, but you're not that.

"GOOD."

>...So, what, you're just out of money completely? Well... maybe you can sell some of this stuff to get by. You won't be living fancy forever, but some of this stuff looks expensive, you can last... just, how much do you have left, if anything?

Her eyebrows crunched together, furrowing into a bit of thought.

Again, she moved away, this time upturning a garbage can onto the pristine, though obviously not of her doing, floor. From the pile, she plucked an unopened letter, and tossed it to him.

>...Really? You don't even open your bank statements? Oh fuck, I'm going to open this and see HOLY SHIT!

"GAH! WHAT!?"

>HOW ARE YOU THIS DEEP IN THE HOLE!? THERE ARE SO MANY ZEROS ON THIS!?

"...What?"

>Fleetfoot, you owe the bank so much they could repossess a chunk of the freaking Wonderbolt stadium and it wouldn't cover it! You know what? No, you're not a whore, but you just might have to become one in order to... to... to pay off...

"..."

>...Where is the little minus sign?

"Isn't that only when you've got negative stuff in there? Like... you spent more than you have?"

>I... don't see a minus sign.

"...yeah? Why would there be one?"

>...

"..."

>...

"...Soarin'? What... wha-"

She swore she heard something pop. She would swear it till the day she died.

"EEP!"

>...Fleetfoot?

"Y-yeah?"

>How did you get this much money?

"Uh-"

>Just to clarify, you saying you slept with a bunch of rich ponies would make me the LEAST angry.

"...Well it's not that. I mean, I let them chase it, but I never gave up the goods. Ha! The look on their faces-"

>FLEETFOOT!

"Alright! Jeeze!... Well, first off, private airshows. Lots of those, and none of the sexy kind!.. probably could have made more if I did the sexy kind, but I was worried I'd get some champagne in me and next thing I knew-"

>Those aren't allowed.

"Ha! You're funny."

>Is that really it?

"Uh, no. I also bet on our races, a lot. And I mostly won, because I bet on me... and I'm awesome."

>That also wasn't allowed.

"Pfft, you'd be great as a standup comedian."

>That. It?

"...uh... no. There was signings, autographs-"

>You made them PAY for autographs!?

"Pictures-"

>FLEETFOOT!"

"Appearances, stuff like that..."

>...anything... else?

"..."

>...

"...well, let's just say, and this is just in general not directed at me or admitting it was me or in any way connected to me it's just an observation, that if you can get some premium 'performance enhancers' that are real top shelf stuff and expensive as fuck, sell exclusively to a massive group of some of the most well paid and rich celebrity VIPS on the planet, ensure these enhancers need to be administered regularly, and do so for about... six years or so, while also providing safety and worry free transactions that they never had to fear being traced back to them, and knowing that if anyone tried to cut in on your turf you were close enough with the top brass to get rid of them, well... you'd get a big lot of money."

>...

"That is unrelated to my big lot of money. I say it was all in stocks and wise investments-

Another, louder pop.

"A-hem. I'll stop now."

>...So that line about 'how am I going to live'-

"That was mostly so she wouldn't fire me, yeah.... actually entirely that."

>...

"Soarin'?"

>...Nothing, nothing, just... just regretting life choices...

If nothing else, her ears flicked back in regret once again.

"I said I was sorry I convinced you..."

>No no, I'm a big stallion, I can admit my mistakes. I have made many.... Fleetfoot?

"Y-yeah?"

>If you're so freaking well off, why do you care about this? You can retire right now, no problem. Why care?

Once more, he got to see tears in her eyes, and a part of him hated that he had brought them back.

"...B-being a Wonderbolt was my whole life, my everything... this was... this was who I was, Soarin'. This isn't just a uniform, this was a team, a piece of me..."

Sad eyes trailed over to the one immaculate spot of the room. Her old Wonderbolt uniform, her very first one, proudly on display for all to see.

"...I lost a piece of me, and I can't ever get it back, and no amount of parties or wine or money is ever going to make it up for it. I wasn't... like... a great pony, but I never did any drugs, and I was still at the top of the ranking. I never cheated, and I still outran everyone else. I inspired ponies, and I didn't need anything to make me great enough to do that... I didn't even need it to keep up with everyone on the stuff. They needed that stuff to be great... I just belonged there, and now I don't know where I belong.... and it's all my own fault."

Sadly, she crawled back over to her bed, plopping down hard on the lavish thing, and scraping her way back up to the headboard. Her face mashed into her pillow, and she just lay there, defeated.

>...Fleetfoot?

"Mmmhmmm?"

>If Dash had wanted to get rid of you, but offered to keep me on as long as I never talked to you again or met with you, what would you say?

Slowly, painfully, her neck creaked upwards, and twisted.

And those tear streaked, red eyes looked to him once again.

"I'd say, "if you were stupid enough to turn her down, I'll punch you in the dick again." I'm not... I'm not going to get another chance, Soarin', and something's always going to be missing... you'd have to be a fucking moron to let it stay missing with you too. I don't care about your stupid honor or stallion pride or whatever, I'd tell you to crawl back and beg for the privilege to clean the place in a dress, and just forget about me... like you should've done before this started..."

>I see...

His wings, what little stiffness they had, just melted away, going limp at his sides.

"...well?"

>Hm? Oh, she didn't, I was just curious if you would give up having me around. I mean, you might have taken the deal if you could stay-

"No."

There was very little Soarin' understood about the mare.

But at least he could tell when she was one hundred percent certain.

"...so... what now?"

She croaked, shuffling back into the warm embrace of her silk blankets.

>Well... you do have a lot of money...

"Yeah, you can move in, it's fine. I want the company... and NO, I'm not gonna make you 'earn your keep', come on, that's stupid... you're my only friend left in the world, Soarin'..."

He honestly smiled, the first time he's done so today it felt like, and took his seat next to her on the bed.

>Thanks, and I'll probably have to take you up on that, some of us just have nice apartments that are now way out of our price range, not our own airspace.

"Lets just say I knew this might happen someday..."

>I can tell. But what I meant was... well, you've got a steady place to live, plenty of funds, and you wanted to prove something...

"...yeah?"

>...well...

"Got an idea?"

>...nope.

Hey, they both reasoned.

Plenty of time to figure it out.

>But seriously, you wouldn't have-

"NO!"

>...Just checking...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________