Laurel vs Life

Au-tum-n co-mes
Bi-rds fly fro-m he-re
I go as we-ll

She looked at her attempt at a haiku and sighed. It was no good, just no good. What purpose did birds serve here? She was a reptile; she should speak of hibernation instead. But wouldn’t hibernation imply only a temporary absence, rather than a true ending? Of course birds flew back from the south eventually and winter thawed to make way for spring, life having persevered. Maybe that was the message she was supposed to receive here? Was her own mind telling her she had to keep on living through the hard times? But why? For what purpose?
Laurel took the paper and crumpled it, throwing it in the pile of previous attempts. This was simply not going to work out. She’d come out here in the forest, to this somewhat serene little lake – or pond – to find peace and quiet and end her worthless existence, but she was having trouble writing a message to anyone who’d find her body. The poem would need to encapsulate her despair yet also her acceptance of it, her embracing of the inevitability of her own passing, but that wasn’t just coming together. Maybe it would be for the best to just head home and watch something uplifting. Or maybe she should rewatch Hara-kiri and see if it might inspire her to…
“You going to clean that up?” a voice asked and Laurel turned her head to see a Salamander in spats and a tank-top. She was obviously out on a run, and for whatever reason her path had led her to this spot, to bother Laurel’s sombre moments. Salamanders were like that, they bothered you. They weren’t exactly the natural enemies of Lizardkind but they were definite competition. Why would an amphibian even have fire coming out their tails? That would just make the water they swam in heat up or it’d go out or something! It was nonsensical!
“What’s it to you?” Laurel asked, her second set of eyelids blinking in irritation.
“Don’t want trash piling up in here, lady. This forest is real nice and clean, it’s protected for at least four kilometres in each direction from here and there’s hanging moss growing on the trees. Not a lot of places like this around, so having someone use it as a dump isn’t something I want to see. Just last week I…”
“Oh shut up! If it bothers you so much why don’t you sit on it and burn it down!” Laurel snapped. The Salamander put a hand on her hip and looked very sternly at her. Laurel knew it was just because she was sitting down and her antagonist was standing, but the way in which she was looking down at her felt very irritating.
“Wasn’t too long ago some kids made a fire to cook some sausages while drinking up there” the Salamander said, nodding towards a rock on the other side of the lake. “They’re gonna be sore for a long time, believe me”
Laurel stood up and noticed the Salamander was ever so slightly taller than her. This increased her irritation.
“Are you threatening me?” she asked.
“Could be I am. You gonna do something about it?”
Laurel unsheathed her sword and pointed it at her.
“This blade was only to take my own life. You will live with a few missing limbs, and they’ll grow back in time” Laurel said. She hoped to see a twinge of fear in the Salamander’s face. She didn’t.
“You’d attack an unarmed opponent like that?” she asked, pulling the rug right from under Laurel’s feet. She was right, dammit.
“My apologies” Laurel said, sheathing her sword and dropping it on the ground. “I’ll take you apart with my bare hands then” she added, taking a wider, lower stance.
The Salamander kept staring at her.
“You know I’ve been running for almost an hour now and I’m only a little past the half-way point” she said.
“Making excuses for why you will lose?”
“Just letting you know I’m properly warmed up” the Salamander replied before lunging at Laurel, tackling her stomach with her shoulder. The both of them fell into the water and Laurel found herself in the natural element of her opponent. If she hadn’t been spending so long sitting with her legs crossed she’d have been limber enough to dodge this. Maybe. The important thing at the moment was that she was underwater now and that gave the advantage to the Salamander. But… the Salamander wasn’t grappling with her anymore? Laurel shut her transparent eyelids and looked around. She was nowhere to be seen. Fine then, no point hanging out in the cold water.

Laurel crawled to the shore on all fours and found her wet clothing to be uncomfortably clinging to her. It was heavy, too. It wasn’t so cold as to risk getting sick or anything like that, but it would slow her down some. She looked at the rock on the other side of the lake and how the sun’s rays shone on it, feeding many tall pines. She wouldn’t mind being up there right now, honestly…
“That cool yer head?” the Salamander asked. Laurel turned to look and saw her squatting by the pile of discarded poems. She was obviously interested in them and was starting to straighten some out to read what was written there.
“You keep your dirty claws off of them” Laurel hissed.
“Hmm? What’s this then? Love letters?”
“CLAWS OFF!” Laurel shouted as she charged at the Salamander. The crouching amphibian saw her coming and caught her without slowing her momentum, dropped on her back and threw her back into the water.

This time Laurel came back from the water slowly. She was trying very hard not to lose focus. Anger made her movements predictable and wild. The cold made her movements slow and clumsy. What she needed now was focus. Focus on the… the…
The Salamander had read a poem. And another. She was reading a third.
“You…”
“Hm”
“You…”
“This is sad”
“What?”
“You’re kinda depressed, huh?”
Laurel blinked and stared. Depressed? Depressed?!
“Yes I’m depressed! Of course I’m depressed! How could I not be depressed! How could anyone not be depressed!” she yelled at the Salamander, tears forming.
“But what are you depressed about?” she asked.
“Because the world is rotten. Because romance is dead. Because chivalry is dead. Because all things noble and good and true in this world are dead and gone and will never return!”
The Salamander tilted her head.
“You got rejected?” she asked.
“No! That’s just typical of your kind! Everything has to be about sex! Well it isn’t!”
“Hm”
Laurel had tears running down her cheeks now. She was wet, cold, miserable and humiliated. She just wanted to go home and curl up in bed and go to sleep. She’d had enough for today. Enough!
“So you feel you were born in the wrong time-period, huh”
Laurel sniffled.
“Obviously. I could’ve been a samurai or a knight or a pirate or something. Now what’s there to do? Everybody just works a 9-to-5 job and gets their dates online. What’s the point of it? Any of it? Life without romance is no life at all”
The Salamander listened intently, then stood up and walked over to Laurel and patted her on the back.
“You’re not going to let a little thing like modern living beat you, are you?”
“What?”
“You’re a fighter. You know you are, and I know it too. So why are you just giving up without a fight now? Just because you can’t hit modern living with a sword?”
Laurel looked on in confusion.
“What are you babbling about?”
“I’m telling you to stand up and fight against the drudgery you see around you. I’m telling you to face every day like a challenge. I’m telling you that if you give up on this life you’re admitting it’s beaten you, and that means you’ve lost! Is that the way you want things to end? Do you want to die a loser who hasn’t even tried?
Laurel wiped her eyes and stood up, shivering. The Salamander handed her back her sword.
“So what’s it going to be?”
“I’m not a loser”
“Damn straight you’re not!”
The two hugged.
“I still don’t know what to do about life sucking though” Laurel pointed out.
“Figure it out. I’ve got to run” the Salamander replied and did just that.
“And clean up after yourself!” she shouted after a while.

Laurel stayed by the lake for a moment, gathering up all the poems she’d tried to write and stuffing them in her bag. Paper would become part of nature quickly enough even if she just left it lying there but it might set a bad example for the young folk, wouldn’t want them to get their asses kicked by a filthy fire-amphibian. Having finished cleaning up Laurel thought she’d go around the lake and take a moment to appreciate the warmth of the sun on the rock on the other side. She might not know how to beat life but she could at least try to appreciate the simpler things.