Persistance, and the values of.

>"And if I say I was a world-class kilt-knitter what would you think?"
"I'd think you're still a shallow, self-absorbed, desperate LOSER!"
>You were making progress.   Her anger was mounting.  Now if only she'd let you mount her.
>"No kilts then, okay, new idea -um.   Um.  I was born with no lower jaw.  And my eyes were stuck on the outside of my skull!"
"That's disgusting!  How is that supposed to make me attracted  to you?"
>"Because you're a weirdo shut-in nerd-vase with a hot-ass, I'm trying to work the sympathy angle here!"  Sweet jeeze, you'd wish she'd let you angle your dick into her sympathy.
>The disgust on her face reminded you of half-melted wax candles.
>"Um.  You can't read minds, can you?"
"I'd shove my head in the Cakes's oven if I'd ever have to glimpse one microsecond into that smut-coated cesspit you call a brain."
>You think more dirty thoughts at her.  Broadcasts filled with ropes, collars, lipstick, glitter, whipped cream and cowboy hats fill the air and speed readily towards any mare willing to listen.
"EW!"
>Twilight cringes like crushed wads of paper.  Awesome.  Your exercises at telepathy were finally starting to pay off.
>"Do you want to have sex with me now?"
"No!  You're a freaky two-legged monster who can't keep his hands off my copy of 'Equestria's Complete Guide to Fantastic Faunalogical Phenomenon!'"
>"It's the closest thing you have to porn on this planet."  It's true.  That book had EXCELLENT anatomical diagrams and charts.  All Species.  All Genders.  All Angles.
"It's bad enough that I know what you do with it."
>You jack off to it.
"But that you keep scribbling weird notes in that awful human-language of yours, ugh, that's just infuriating."
>You puff your chest out much further in your mind than it's really capable of.  The unicorn rolls her eyes.  "Oh those things?   Those are just notes on all the species I've fucked."
>Her mouth couldn't be more tight and straight if you drew it on with a ruler.
"I'm sorry?"
>You cross your arms and lean back with poorly cultivated nonchalance.  "Yup.  Those awful notes are actually awfully valuable advice on erogenous zones and  grades on how good a lay they are.  Very scientific."
"You are an abomination."
>"No, I'm a gift.  Turns out my dick fits into all kinds of species and at least seventeen different forms of plant-life.  My junk is like, one size fits all!  I'm some kind of universal-adapter for fucking!"  Twilight screams as your hands try to gesticulate your phallic omnicompatibility.
"ANON WHAT IS!  HOW DID YOU!  WAIT!  Wait.  So.  All those weekends you stole cider from AJ's house and train-hopped out of town?"
>"Oh yeah.  Me making rounds.  Doing ah, field-research, as it were.  Several times in an actual field.  There was this one time with this chick named Gilda, who was actually part chick, where we-"
"Now I know why you walk with that weird limp.  You were systematically violating every species on the planet."
>You jump in the air like a firecracker, arms pinwheeling like a badly designed helicopter.  "YUP!  You name it I've fucked it!  Dragons, diamond dogs, gryphons, hippogriffs, hippos, minotaurs, chupacabras, hydras, cockatrices, sea-serpents (breath-holding contest lemme tell you), ursa major, ursa minor, which is NOT grounds for going to jail, I'm happy to say."
>Your eyes dart and your voice takes on tones of a car engine running out of gas.  "Pretty much every species...except for one.
"Oh thank Celestia, some race on this rock still has standards."
>"I haven't fucked a pony yet."  She frowns.  Her face is all hard, pointy, angry angles.
"And you never will."
>She tries to walk away.  You stumble after her.  "Wait, wait!  Okay, so technically I HAVE fucked p0nies.  Me and Rainbow fooled around few days after I showed up and a few days more after taking a break, and just a few days ago."
"Loose, flighty, bitch." you hear her mutter.
>"And then me and Aloe....or was it Lotus?  Maybe it was both.  Well, I'll just say for some professional masseuses, they sure do have a lot of kinks if you know what I mean."  Your tongue makes enthused clicking sounds.
"I don't want to know what you mean."
>"They're really sexually kinky."  Silly Twilight, needing to have everything explained to her.  "So yeah, and there are others too, Pinkie, hoo-lordy, Spitfire, sweet-damn.  Fluer de Lice, or whatever her name was, but she kept speaking spanish or something, distracted the hell out of me.  Derpy, although don't tell anyone, not that I'm ashamed, 'cus hot shit, that shit was hot.   She just doesn't want word to get around that the big branch in your library is an awesome place to play 'Hide Anon's Dick-Wogger in Mareginas: Requiem'  Uh-oh, secret's out, well it IS your tree house I guess."
>You are somehow oblivious that Twilight's mouth squeezing hard enough to shatter steel.  She could end the world right then and there, but such a death would be too quick for you.  "Ooh, and Cheerilee too, but that was an accident."
>You fall on your knees and grasp Twilight's bucking, twisting hoof gently.  You look at her with big, shiny, horny eyes and say delicately "But I've yet to caress the tender, warm folds of a certain purple unicorn with my throbbing iron-cock."
>Your arms wrap around her slender neck and you pull her close.  You whisper into her twitching ear,  "Let me make first contact with you."
>You are blasted into the sky.
"I AM GOING HOME.  IM GOING TO FIND A SPELL TO KILL YOU!"
>Huh, necrophilia isn't really your thing, but you'll try anything once!  'Rigor Mortis might come in handy, actually' you think to yourself as you hit the ground with a 'thud' that gives more satisfaction to Twilight than she thinks you ever could.  She's wrong of course.
>No, you want to love her as you are. No weird gimmicks this time.  Or no more than usual.  You chug along slowly on your elbows towards twilight, like a battered, unstoppable train.  The Little Engine that Wanted to Fuck.  That's you!
>You think you can you think you can!
>"C'mon Twilight.  Owies.  When was the last time you had se?.  Aren't you the least little bit curious?  It's gonna be a whole new experience!  A whole new learning experience!  You can write to Celestia about it.  You'll be spearheading research into a whole new aspect of friendship!  Well, it'll be new for you at least."
>Technically YOU'D be the one doing the spearheading.  But no need to rub it in, unless she'd let you thrust it in.
>"Just think of how PROUD she'd be.  To know that the bonds of, like, friendship can cross the gap of species, and fill it with the warm, hot, steamy cream of love!"
>She hasn't shot at you again.  This was a good sign.  She twisted her hooves in the grass.  Lips were being chewed on.  A tail flickered.
"You...think so?"
>"Sure?" She takes a step closer.  Half-lidded and confused eyes stare at nothing in particular.  "I mean yes.  Sure as sunsets."  She fights an internal battle between looking at you for another second or launching you into high orbit.
"Can I tell you something?"

>Oh thank goodness.  "Uh, yeah, why not."  She sits down in the grass.
"It's a little embarrassing, I've never told anyone this before."
>Ah sweet, chicks only tell you secrets when they're ready to surrender their panty-treasure.  You felt like such a pirate.  Plunder that booty!  Make her walk your plank!  Swab that poop-deck!
>"I'm all ears."  You smile politely.
"Back before I came to p0nyville, when  I was still attending classes with other foals my age, there was this colt.  He was a show-boater."
>"I like boats."  You did.  She ignored you.
"He kept performing spells in the middle of class or out on the grounds in front of the rest of us.  Making jokes, or climbing to the top of the castle battlements.  You'd think he'd just annoy me, and he did, but to be honest, he was pretty skilled.  He'd strut around the other mares, flexing his haunches."
>This had nothing to do with you at all.  You start thinking about interesting places you'd like to visit some day.
"Some days I wanted to sock him in the gut, but once he started talking to you, he had this, this way of saying words.  It was almost like magic.  But he made it look easy, and that's when I knew that he really WAS smart.  Because having charm is one thing, but making it look natural, even ineffable -like anyone in the world can be that smooth if only they saw how simple it is, is more difficult than any spell I know."
>New Zealand, Holland,
She pulled some hair out of her face. "Well, I'm smart too.  A few times I'd feel...saucy?  Is that the word?"  She looked at you over her shoulder.  "Well, adventurous at any rate.  Some days me and him would get a little adventurous in empty classes, behind water fountains, in front of coffee shops.  Rooms with the lights off."
>Alaska, Disneyworld, The World's Biggest Hooters
"We were....I'm not too sure what we were.  We didn't even hold hooves.  We just made each other feel good, I guess."
>Ontario.  That's a funny word.  Ontarioooooooo...
"We must've just been stupid"  She looked at your with those cut purple gems she called eyes.  "I'm not sure what happened to him.  We moved onto different fields.  I became a protege', he became, well, something else.  Someone that makes other mares feel good about themselves."
>She stalks towards you.  You stop thinking about foreign places that served drinks you can't pronounce.
"I didn't have any delusions, even back then.  I could -pretend- I was special to him.  Oh, I knew I was special.  I know I still am.  But there's a difference between being special to everyone and being special to a certain someone."
>She steps daintily but deliberately across your lap and runs her nose over your should and across your cheek.
"To know that you can hit a certain spot for someone in a way that no one else ever can or ever will."
>She breathes deeply, drawing your scent in.
"It feels good, doesn't it?"
>"'S pretty awesome, yehrp."
>The fur from her muzzle dances over your cheek like feathertips.
"Even now I don't have any delusions.  I'm not special to you.  Just some half-scralwed notes in an anatomy book, hm?  Another tick off a checklist?"
>Your hand slinks up her hoof, tracing along the dips and ridges of her muscles.  "Fully scrawled notes..."
>She leans over you and closes the distance between your lips like a bird flying to the moon.
"And to me?  You'd just be a distraction.  A barely novel experience, something to laugh about on rainy days, yes?"
>She touches your chest.
"At least it'll feel real enough, even if it's for all the wrong reasons..."
>Your hand runs through her well-conditioned hair.
"So maybe, for just one moment."
>Her mouth teases itself open.  You can feel her lips just the barest milometers away from your own, it's like static electricity.
"We can just pretend."
>You're gonna do it!  You're gonna score!  You're gonna score!  YOU'RE GONNA SCO-
"Or not."
>She jumps off of you.
"You're still a sick, pathetic, soulless creature who never belonged here, and I will never give you one iota of satisfaction."
>Your dick is so mad right now.  She shakes herself off.
"You don't deserve love, or even the illusion of love."
>"I think, to be fair, I never really ask for that.  I just want to fuck you."
"I never want to see you again, Anon."
>"You can do it with a blindfold on."
"The image of you in my head would almost be as bad."
>You stand up, wincing a little bit as your boner gets caught uncomfortably on your pants.  You raise a finger in horribly misguided indignation.
"Don't you try to say anything.  I don't think I can hate you any more than I do right now. I don't want to."
>There was a gush of air.  A huge white horse with an enormous flank landed in between you.
"Well, Miss Twilight, if you're so intent on hating him, then allow me to balance the scales with a little love."
>Twilight made a really stupid face.
"P-P-Princess C-C-"
"Hello, my star pupil."
>Twilight tried to bow or beg or something.
"I'm sorry, but this human, he was trying to-"
"Oh, I'm quite aware of what he wants."
>Her head swung majestically towards you.  You shielded your eyes from the high-yield cosmic glitter that was being thrown in your face.
"I got your message earlier, about the cuffs.  I didn't know humans were capable of such long-range mental messaging!"
>"It's a gift."  She sauntered towards you, her slim muzzle moving up and down as she inspected you like a sports car.
"Word about the kingdom is that you have many gifts."
>"Oh yes."  Your favorite gift ws in your pants.  "I'm a man of many talents, and, um.  Um.  Fucking.  Yes.  Would your majesty care for a good fuck?"
>She turned towards Twilight.
"I love it when they're forward."
>"You know, I have this ongoing project.  Wanna help me with some...field research?"
>She stretched out her neck and smiled wickedly.
"In an actual field?"
>"Field, tree limbs,"  you look at Twilight and give her the biggest, stankiest shit-eating grin you can muster, "maybe both, this is something I'd like to study as extensively as possible."
>She got REAL close to you.
"As do I, Anon, as do I."
>And the two of you went off to fuck like mad.  The two of you nearly broke the branch.  You would be pleased to know that your forefathers, while a little weirded out by your broad tastes, are nonetheless mightily proud of  your unparalleled and very thorough conquests.
>Also Twilight spent her whole night schlicking to her senior yearbook and a pair of pants you had lying around.
>It was a fine day.